”All That Jazz” Broadcast August 1, 2517 4:02 P.M A.S.T

-On the screen there is the image of a pretty world reminiscent to that of a Central Planet. Suddenly a rushing sound is heard and behind it a brown dirt colored world comes up and smashes into it. The pretty world breaks into pieces and all that remains is the brown world. From out of the northern pole of the brown world there sprouts a signal broadcast tower. The image remains on screen, but several pictures appear next to it, and words move across the screen. The image of the speaker is not visible.-

”Looky looky look who’s here. To rescue you from the daily marching orders. To give you an alternative to your lunchtime Propagandwitch, and fill your ears with nothing but the things THEY don’t want you to hear! Your back on with Jazz, and “All That”. So before I had one of the most wondrous alleviations of my bladder in my whole life, we were discussing this latest announcement of further efforts to assistance to the newerish colonized worlds in the rim. The addition of 100 transports LOADED with food, fuel, fresh water, and everything else the settlers there would need………… I suppose they also sent them a bit of Reaver repellent in that too? OH WAIT… I forgot… the Alliance holds to it’s story that Reavers aren’t real… how’s that line go?... ”To date we’ve had no reason to believe Reavers exist.”…. Ya, tell that to the formerly fine folk of Riggersville on New Hall, who all miraculously vanished over night… and a all that was left was a big batch of burning buildings!”

”But hey! At least the Great Alliance is sending us some help right? I mean… they’re the ones sending the people out there anyway… and then they take all the profits of those newly colonized worlds to help put food on the plate of the Fat Luàn gǎos of the Parliament. But we have to give them applause for the fact that they’re making good on their promise to rebuild and move forward right?...”

”Well before we get to that, why don’t we do some basic math. 100 transports, now make no mistake, we’re talking about small contract transports, not large, sturdy, strong, and speedy Alliance built vessels, no no no no no, we’re talking “Mom n’ Pops Puddle Jumper”, which hold enough supplies for a thousand for… maybe month. And we don’t have a schedule submitted on WHEN they’ll arrive. So we’ve got enough food for potentially 100,000 for a month. OH but wait! This has to be rationed evenly amongst a wide area… so we’re really looking at feeding, about 500,000 people…. With a drop of protein, and maybe a water packet….. for….. a day.”

”Does anyone else think it’s ironic that this lowborn Independent does a better job of adding then the Great Minds of the conquering Core? Hey, maybe I should run for Parliament. I’m gonna go consider while I raid Valstone’s private Chāo tián stash. And that means it’s time for Gabby in Studio 5 to tell you all about ”Pewter’s Pass Point’,..your on Gabby!

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