TALK STORY

Whatever Happened to Live and Let Live?

POSTED BY: 6IXSTRINGJACK
UPDATED: Wednesday, November 29, 2006 12:26
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VIEWED: 1615
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Monday, November 27, 2006 10:41 PM

6IXSTRINGJACK

[/i]


I really can't take this anymore. Everyone, including me, is so gorram opinionated about every damn thing. I drive myself crazy over things that I think are stupid that people type and I always think I'm so smart. Is Kramer a racist? Should we let Big Brother vaccinate our children? What came first, the chicken or the egg?

Did you hear about the guy that stabbed someone at a bar 4 times recently because he didn't wash his hands? WTF people?

So this is Christmas.

I can't do it anymore. The government is going to damn well do whatever it wants to and make us do whatever it wants us to do no matter what I say and people are going to believe whatever it is that speaks to them no matter what I say, and bottom line is, who the hell said I was right about anything in the first place?

I don't believe a damn thing that I held as truth 10 years ago, and I really hope that 10 years from now I don't believe a damn thing that I believe today.... I'll be much happier for it. It's not like I do a damn thing about any of the problems I bitch about, with the sole exception of bitching about them.

Is there a way to let go of the opinionation? Is there a way that I can step back inside the box, or at least find balance again? Can I just let things happen around me as they will and stop being the fool on the hill? All I want is a little happiness and somebody share it with.... at least I know that's what I used to want.

I really have all the tools at my disposal... all of the means for the ends I desire, but I just can't seem to figure it all out and put it together. It's a puzzle that simply eludes me....

It's as if I enjoy being miserable... and I hate that.

"A government is a body of people, usually notably ungoverned." http://www.myspace.com/6ixstringjack

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Tuesday, November 28, 2006 1:25 AM

SPACEANJL


Just breathe, babe.

I'm working in retail right up until the end of Xmas Eve. Gonna be a deal of a**holes in my life.


But just focus on some small stuff to begin with. Mental space. And ignore anything ending in 'olly' until January.

Alternatively, fill a waterpistol and hose down some carol singers.

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Tuesday, November 28, 2006 2:01 AM

6IXSTRINGJACK

[/i]


Thanks for the pep talk SpaceAnJL. I worked at Toys R Us for a few years when I was a young punk, so I truly feel your pain.

It's not Christmas itself that's making me think this way... or at least, it's not directly Christmas, but more the realization of the hole I've dug myself into and memories of the way this time of year used to feel when I was younger.

I've become obsessed and opinionated about all of the crap in the world that really shouldn't matter if you have something to come back home to, but I don't. I've started to see only the worst in people and I've become the most cynical and negative person I've ever known. I'm a regular freakin' Scrooge, and I'm too young to be like that.

This will be the first year, of 27, that I've ever had to work on Christmas Eve, Christmas, New Years Eve and New Years Day, and it doesn't even bother me that I have to. My holidays are over now, but with the family situation the way that it is and my inability to get back into any sort of meaningful relationship, I didn't have much to look forward to other than getting wasted and the two day hangovers that always follow. I think this is the first year that Christmas is really depressing me because I used to love it, but everything is different now. Christmas is like this grey cloud for me. I told Paul McCartney to shut up today when he kept singing about what a wonderful Christmas time he was having. Sorry Paul, but I've always liked John more anyways.

I don't want to forget about Christmas... I want to forget about all of the other BS that we bitch and argue about. I want to forget about the BS war. I want to forget all the BS about Michael Richards' unfortunate career killing rant and Jessie Jackson trying to start banning free speech by banning the big word.

All I want for Christmas, more than anything in the world, is to not argue about any of this with anyone anymore and to live my damn life again like a normal person and not let it all bother me. I want most of all to feel what it's like to fall in love again. I miss that the most.

But I don't know if I have it in me anymore...

"A government is a body of people, usually notably ungoverned." http://www.myspace.com/6ixstringjack

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Tuesday, November 28, 2006 2:39 AM

SPACEANJL


What you need, my friend, is a holiday. Get yourself somewhere away from the commercial crap, and give yourself some mental space.

Have to say, don't know your personal circs, or any of the RL issues (who Michael Richards?) but I do remember grey days of my own, and that bitter ash of looking around and thinking wtf? Make time for yourself. Be a little selfish.

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Tuesday, November 28, 2006 3:14 AM

SWEETSERENDIPITY


6ixstring, I sat here for a long time trying to think of something to say to make it better. I'm still trying to think of something. SpaceAnjl is right. Take time to breathe, let go of your anger.

I worked 12 years in retail, and I always worked the day before the holiday and the day after. During the time of year when people should be the best is when they are the worst. During the last 5 years of my retail hell, I also took day to day care of my mother who had Parkinsons. No relationships, no time off, afraid to go anywhere in case she would fall.

I don't know how you feel about anxiety drugs, but that's what helped me. When it got to the point where mom was accusing me of poisoning her and mismanaging her money, when she would call me so much that I hated hearing the sound of my own name, when the slightest thing would make me erupt ( and cry uncontrollably), I got a medication for anxiety. Thank God for Celexa and a doctor who was worried about me.

Sometime after she died, I stopped taking it. When I had a better control over my life. I wouldn't have been able to deal with anything if it hadn't been for my best friend, the medication, and (corny enough, I know) my pets.

Get a pet, find someone to talk to, write all the negative crap in a journal... do something. It's no way to live, being angry all the time. Look for random acts of kindness. Hell, carry out a random act yourself. I'm sorry if that came out preachy, but I'm worried about you.

I wish you nothing but joy in this holiday season. May you see not the bad, but the good. May you let go of crap that upsets you, so that you can find some peace. I hope that something I said, or anyone else has said, can be of some value.

Good luck 6ixstring.

Deb


http://serendipityagain.com/

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Tuesday, November 28, 2006 4:02 AM

SAFEAT2ND


6ixString, what you wrote could have very well been written by me. I wrote a whole big spiel on my views but then erased it. While I think I'm right and justified, I am slowly coming to the conclusion that not everyone wants to hear it. Time to retire my soapbox.

So here is my Yin and Yang. Somewhere in the middle is balance.

"God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I Cannot change…

Courage to change the things I can

And Wisdom to know the difference…"


And,

"If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself."

Now I'm in no way a religious man, but I like the prayer none the less.

If I find that balance, I'll let you know. Until then, I won't let it ruin my holiday season. That's a price I'm not willing to pay. I hope you'll do the same.

In the words of the great Burl Ives...
"Have a holly, jolly Christmas;
It's the best time of the year
I don't know if there'll be snow
but have a cup of cheer
Have a holly, jolly Christmas;
And when you walk down the street
Say Hello to friends you know
and everyone you meet..."





_______________________________________________________________
"Got a headful of lightning
And a heart full of rain
And I know that I said
I'd never do it again
Oh and I love you sweet baby but I always take the long way home."

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Tuesday, November 28, 2006 5:20 AM

DAYVE


Quote:

Originally posted by 6ixStringJack:
I can't do it anymore. The government is going to damn well do whatever it wants to and make us do whatever it wants us to do no matter what I say....



From the “For What It’s Worth” File….Questioning one’s existence and purpose in life is a good thing… finding the answers is the problem….

On the Government Issue, you are right to acknowledge that the power belongs to the powerful, but as to what can be done, that happens in small, time-consuming steps.

Let tell you about something that happened to me in college. I started out at a small east Texas university in a city (town) whose population was not much larger than that of the student body of the school. I won’t mention the year but to say that this was at a time when the entire nation was struggling with the civil rights issue. Some of the more activist students recognized some injustice in the legal system of that town and organized in an effort to make a change. This included students as well as civic-minded citizens of the town. Before long we had numbers that could not be ignored, and actually made a change for the better there. It wasn’t always easy, but the truth is that there is strength in numbers and steadfast determination. If you keep hitting someone over the head long enough and with enough force, that person is going to eventually notice you.
So if you feel strongly about a position, I would advise going after it with all you have to offer, be it organizing, leading the way or simply offering your heart and soul to the effort.

There are always setbacks. As you get older, you realize that even fighting the good fight can sometimes be a losing battle. We can strive and hope for the best, but it’s not unwise to expect the worst.

Or, you can do what I’ve done in my old age, move to quiet place in the country, stick a fork in the television, listen to nature take it’s course and try not to get caught up in the day to day melodrama that is the planet earth dwindling away.

Remember, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel, just hope it’s not an oncoming train.

Edit: when I started this little spiel, my intentions were to make you feel better… really. Just let me say that I’ve been where you’re at now and problems can be resolved by focusing on the good things in your life. There is a balance to all things. I hope you get back around on top for a while.

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Tuesday, November 28, 2006 5:57 AM

KELAI


Quote:

Originally posted by sweetserendipity:
Get a pet, find someone to talk to, write all the negative crap in a journal



Pets always help. My dog always loves me.

--

//breathe today So many lies s w i r l i n g
All A R O U N D You
you're S U F F O C A T I N G
the e m p t y shape in Y O U
s t e a l s your b r e a t h

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Tuesday, November 28, 2006 6:56 AM

NEWOLDBROWNCOAT


I would never push someone, but I'm going back to my nice warm comforting liberal Protestant Methodist church for Advent .

Listen to the old songs. Wrap myself in the comfort of nice old folks. Listen to sermons about being welcome home to the loving arms of God, not about casting out unbelievers.

I don't believe much of it,

but it's a comfort thing, and they'll make me welcome. Go to the social hall and drink a cup of bad coffee and eat a stale donut. Listen to the questions and loving if wrong advice about my life and kids, given by little old ladies who could be my Mom.
Gonna go Christmas Eve and sing Silent Night by candle light, then leave the church is silence, and try to stay in that high place for a while, and I' m really sorry you have to work and miss that one...

Geez, I'd type some more, but I got my self all weepy. I got troubles, too, and so does the world. Gotta put then aside a little, get a little comfort and joy.

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Tuesday, November 28, 2006 7:32 AM

SIRI


Quote:

Originally posted by 6ixStringJack:
All I want for Christmas, more than anything in the world, is to not argue about any of this with anyone anymore and to live my damn life again like a normal person and not let it all bother me. I want most of all to feel what it's like to fall in love again. I miss that the most.

But I don't know if I have it in me anymore...



Let's see if I've figured out this quote thing - As someone who has lived a few more Christmases than you - not that it necessarily means a heck of a whole lot - I think I get your frustration with yourself and the rest of the world.

I frequently find myself getting all excited about something - often it's something that I have absolutely no power to control much less affect. While I believe it is important for us to voice our opinions about what is going on in the world, it's equally important to temper the "voicing" with "listening" "considering" and, yes, "letting go" of those things that we can't control. It's knowing the different and making a choice to speak or act that often makes us effective or simply acting out of frustration.

I find myself constanting questioning and frequently there just aren't any good answers. As far as changing my opinions and viewpoint on things, I'm with you there, too. It seems that could bode to flexibility and open-mindedness rather than stubborness and rigidity - or I guess some might call it wishy-washy or waffling. Different points of view at different times - I try to remember to breathe, connect with my own inner source and trust that things will change, for the better or not - I can only affect what is within my sphere of influence - not necessarily my sphere of interest.

Christmas time has long been a time of longing for family and connection, nostalgia for what could have been and hope for something better - I wish you inner peace and connection to your deepest and most perfect self.



Siri

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Tuesday, November 28, 2006 5:53 PM

6IXSTRINGJACK

[/i]


Thank you all for your kind and thoughtful comments. I was in a real downer mood yesterday. Not that I'm normally Mr. Cheery, but just being awake yesterday was excruciating. It took everything I had to not tell my boss that I needed to go home (it's on my dime, as I'm out of vacation) and so I vented a little here and a heck of a lot more on my MySpace blog. Thanks for reading it, for whatever reasons you did, and thank you for taking the time to say a kind word or 1000 words. Little things like that go a long way and you guys and gals are all good people for doing that and cheering me up a bit. That's what Christmas is all about, isn't it? Not Playstations or Nintendos or that boxed set of your favorite TV show on DVD. I dare say that I don't think I'll be recieving a better Christmas present this year than what ya'all have given me here.

Even though I'm going to be working through it, I hope you all have a Merry Christmas and enjoy the holidays with your friends, families and that special someone if you've found them already.



SpaceAnJL - Yes... a holiday would be nice. I have long weekends all the time cause I work 12 hour night shifts. I think what I need is to somehow escape myself for one of them. Getting away from the commercial crap for a while sounds like a great idea. I thought about enlightening you about Richards and the other garbage, but if you don't know, you're probably better off. My advice to everyone is to stop watching the News.



Sweetserendipity - Sorry to hear about your ordeals with your mother and depression. I haven't exchanged a single word with my mother in 4 years. My brother tells me she just turned 50 the other day. I'm glad that you've overcome your depression, and though I'm sure it's always with you to a degree, you sound like you've managed to cope with it and that it's healthy.

I won't go into it here, but I'm not a big fan of perscription drugs. I don't trust them or doctors at all, but it's nice to hear that somebody was helped by them and is now currently not taking them anymore. In the spirit of letting go of my opinionation and live-and-let-live, and the honest realization that I really might have no idea what I'm talking about, I won't even try to speak of my notions of the evils of pills because I know that no matter how much I don't want to admit it, they do help some people, and even though they are handed out like candy, sometimes the right people get them and they work wonders. And bottom line, I smoke pot and since I'm not growing my own, I have no idea what chemicals they're sprayed with anyways so how is that any better?

I can't have pets at my apartment and that's kind of a bummer. I miss having a dog. I do however have some good friends that I can talk to on occasion. I try not to burden them with my crap all the time though. Most of them are married now or getting married and they have lives of their own to deal with. Then I've always got my Browncoats. You're all real cool people. I've been writing in my MySpace journal... usually ranting about the stuff that I can't control, but yesterday I did a post that kinda scared me. It just seemed to flow out of me without my even thinking about it until I was done. Everything in it was true... but it was kind of a wake up call to see it staring me in the face. I don't want to live the way that I've been living anymore and only I have the power to change it. At the end of the day, how we chose to live our life is really the only thing any of us have any control over.



Safeat2nd - We're all entitled to our opinions. It's funny how genetically we're all so much alike, but our brains can think so many different ways and though we can all find things to agree on with each other, we disagree on other things. Probably my biggest problem with a prodominantly 2 party system is just that... there's absolutely no way to put all of the different types of personalities into 2 or even 3 seperate parties. As for retiring the soapbox, it's probably a good idea. The more vocal I've gotten about things, the more worked up I've gotten about them and my stress levels are through the roof.... funny thing is I have almost zero responsibilites. I have a relatively easy job that pays well and I live well within my means... the life of a minimalist. Financially, I'm in the best shape that I've ever been in my life.

It's time to start working on that balance. I'm not a religious man either, but I'm pretty sure that there's something out there that did all this. I'd really like there to be anyways or else there really seems little point to all of this. I don't know how somebody can even be happy living life with the absolute belief that there is no higher power or afterlife, but I guess they do it. I have heard that prayer before and I like it. I'm going to have to remember it this time.

And I've always been a firm believer that If you want something right you have to do it yourself. And also to never ask somebody to do something that you can do for yourself.



Dayve - I'm always questioning everything. Why the world is the way it is. Why I am the way I am. Religion. Authority. Government. Women.

Yup.... answers are pretty damn elusive. The more I ask, the less I know. That's okay, but I gotta stop obsessing over the questions and just jump back into life. I think I hide behind all of these questions and use them to shield myself from real life or relationships.

It's nice to hear that you were able to change an injustice that you saw. My problem is that I have a problem with almost anything that I read in the news. I see things happening from an outside the box point of view and they all seem strung together in direct and indirect ways. To me, there seems some force that's controling the flow of everything... the direction all of our lives are taking. Nothing that interfears on a personal level where we might notice it and become suspicious of it, but just something subtley influencing us a whole, like a tide, and all of these problems are part of that whole.

Moving to the country is the way to go my friend. As a self proclaimed minimalist, I'm able to save up quite a bit off of meager pay. I'm hoping that in 10 years I can settle down somewhere and pay cash for a house far from a big city and traffic cameras and giant police forces and maybe learn my hand at raising some cattle and crops and becoming as self-sufficient and "off the grid" as is possible. I envy you for being able to get away from it all yousrelf.



NewOldBrowncoat - That really sounds nice. I've often thought about going back to church. I haven't been inside of one, other than my Grandfathers funeral a few months ago, for at least 7 or 8 years. If I were to do confessional I would probably need a few days to get all of my guilt off my chest. I don't even want to know how many "Our Fathers" and "Hail Mary's" I'm going to have to say.

It's really getting tireing being the eternal loner and maybe that would be a good way to feel like part of a group again. Coming to fff.net is nice for that, but it would be nicer to have some warm bodies and smiling faces instead of white letters on black background. Maybe it's time to think about making a visit there.



Siri - "I can only effect what is within my sphere of influene - not necessarily my sphere of interest." I've never heard that, but I really like it. Hope you don't mind if I use that myself. I'm not sure if there is a most perfect self under all that mess, but it would be nice to get in touch with it.



Thanks again everybody. Merry Christmas.


"A government is a body of people, usually notably ungoverned." http://www.myspace.com/6ixstringjack

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Tuesday, November 28, 2006 6:37 PM

WHIMSICALNBRAINPAN


I'm sorry things aren't going well for you 6ixString. I hate this time of year too. My advice will seem crappy compared to what most have written here but maybe it will help.

Stop watching the news and reading the paper for a while. Sometimes a person just needs to disconnect from the world for a bit. I know it sounds cliche but love usually finds you when you aren't expecting it. That doesn't mean that it won't if you are I just find that to be true most of the time. As for finding people to hang out with I can't help you there. I am a loner and I find that the older I get the harder it is to make new friends in "real life". You could try and join an intrest group or club but I don't know that this would be something you'd do (I suspect not). I do hope things get better for you. Take a deep breath and hang in there as best you can.

"Well, my days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a middle." http://whimsicalnbrainpan.blogspot.com/

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Tuesday, November 28, 2006 6:56 PM

SIRI



...Siri - "I can only effect what is within my sphere of influence - not necessarily my sphere of interest." I've never heard that, but I really like it. Hope you don't mind if I use that myself. I'm not sure if there is a most perfect self under all that mess, but it would be nice to get in touch with it.


Still working on the quote thing. Stopped by to see how you're doing today. Sounds as if you're doing OK - trying to apply some of the suggestions folks had to offer. You are free to use the sphere of influence vs sphere of interest phrase in any way that works for you.

You gave people an opportunity to open their hearts and offer you wisdom, guidance and compassion and you gratefully accepted what they offered. It works both ways - people need to be needed and appreciated. And, believe me - there is an absolutely perfect human being within your very skin. You just have to be willing to meet and greet that being. Perhaps no one has ever reflected that perfect person back to you before. Maybe this Christmas time that will be the perfect gift you receive - your perfect self. Wouldn't that be just totally shiny?!



Siri

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Tuesday, November 28, 2006 7:46 PM

6IXSTRINGJACK

[/i]


That would be pretty shiny Siri. I've got my moments that I shine, but I'm still pretty skeptical that there's anything close to perfect. But maybe I'll meditate on it. :)

You keep shinin'

"A government is a body of people, usually notably ungoverned." http://www.myspace.com/6ixstringjack

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Tuesday, November 28, 2006 9:06 PM

SWEETSERENDIPITY


Hey 6string, glad you're feeling a bit better. Hate that you can't have a pet, that always sucks. I couldn't do without mine. Glad you have some friends you can vent to.

I have to agree with Whimsicalbrainpan, avoid the news for awhile. If a bit of news is truly important, it'll find you.

And if you haven't read Whimsical's blog, you need to. Read all the fire ones.

Deb


http://serendipityagain.com/

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Wednesday, November 29, 2006 2:34 AM

6IXSTRINGJACK

[/i]


Siri, I took your advice and checked out Whimsical's blog.... little did I know that I would be glued to my monitor for about 5 hours here at work.

I just finished the fire and I have to say Whisical.... it was absolutley enthralling. I don't believe in happy endings, but I'm so glad to see that you've found yourself somebody that you can get along with so well. You've been through so much... your story is much like my brother's who had a brain hemmorage and several strokes when he was 6 years old and he showed everybody that he could walk and talk again when the doctors said he couldn't. He's 23 now and he has to struggle, but it's great seeing him in the shape he's in today as opposed to where the doctors said he would be.

Sorry, but my turnover is comming in a minute... I have so much to say, but where to start. Yours is a true story of empowerment and a wakeup call to somebody like me who should stop bitching about everything and start living life. Thank you for sharing that with us. I'm sure it must have been very hard. And might I add that those hands do just fine at typing. Most of the people that are in my circles can't punctuate or write anything that even resembles the English language... and I'm talking about people that I work with too.

I know I'm leaving stuff out, but my turnover is here.

Gotta run! Merry Christmas you. And to all of you and I hope your New Year is even better.

"A government is a body of people, usually notably ungoverned." http://www.myspace.com/6ixstringjack

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Wednesday, November 29, 2006 6:22 AM

SAFEAT2ND


Glad to help 6ixString, even if only just a little.

I'm still working on retiring my soapbox. One can't always just go cold turkey eh?

Merry Christmas to you too.

_______________________________________________________________
"Got a headful of lightning
And a heart full of rain
And I know that I said
I'd never do it again
Oh and I love you sweet baby but I always take the long way home."

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Wednesday, November 29, 2006 6:48 AM

CHRISISALL


I'm right there with you, 6, and I feel your pain (not in that trite, jingoistic way).
We will survive it, and be strong. It's what we do.

With love from a fellow blues-burdened Browncoat Chrisisall

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Wednesday, November 29, 2006 8:07 AM

SINGATE


61,

You remind me of me from a few years back. Your outlook on life is bordering on nihilistic. Not necessarily a bad thing but as you undoubtably know it isn't exactly a pleasant experience. Unfortunately someone who seeks truth in the world as well as within themself is bound to be somewhat miserable. I imagine you must feel alone even when you are in a roomful of people.

Fear not, for I have the solution. Don't question anything. Ditch your imagination, creativity, and independence. Be like everyone else. Wear pre-faded jeans, hang out at trendy nightclubs, listen to hip-hop, eat at Chili's and for God's sake no more sci-fi. From now on it's reality TV and talk shows for you mister!

A psych professor once told me "a well adjusted person is simply more capable of deceiving himself". Is that beautiful or what?

Lastly, I still haven't been able to follow the advice I recommended for you. I'm still a miserable S.O.B. It's just that now I revel in it. Good luck!

_________________________________________________

We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far.

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Wednesday, November 29, 2006 12:26 PM

WHIMSICALNBRAINPAN


Quote:

Originally posted by 6ixStringJack:


Sorry, but my turnover is comming in a minute... I have so much to say, but where to start. Yours is a true story of empowerment and a wakeup call to somebody like me who should stop bitching about everything and start living life. Thank you for sharing that with us. I'm sure it must have been very hard. And might I add that those hands do just fine at typing. Most of the people that are in my circles can't punctuate or write anything that even resembles the English language... and I'm talking about people that I work with too.



6ixString you have a right to bitch, everyone does. At least you are bitching about somthing important and not about how you can't afford the Playstation 3 for Christmas or something equally irrelevant. You are in a bad place right now and you don't have to have a stroke or be in a fire to be in one. I just hope you find the tools you need to make things better for yourself. I hope you know by now that there are a lot of people here for you.

I wrote what I did mostly for myself but it has brought me a lot of joy knowing that folks have found what I have to say helpful. And as far as living life, the fire was almost 12 years ago and I am just starting to do that. The cliche is true, dying is easy it is living that is hard. It sucks but sometimes our life gets stuck in a holding pattern (I like to think that it is for a reason) so don't be so hard on yourself. And believe me, I bitch all the time and about really stupid stuff.

Thanks for reading. And as far as my typing goes... Well it is slowish and I have to back up and fix things a lot but at least I can do it. It is funny but I think I type faster now than I did before I hurt my hands. Never been much good with a keyboard. I really hope you feel better and if you need me I am here for you like every other Browncoat on this shiny site.

"Well, my days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a middle." http://whimsicalnbrainpan.blogspot.com/

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