REAL WORLD EVENT DISCUSSIONS

Ok then, Political Humor.

POSTED BY: FREMDFIRMA
UPDATED: Friday, October 31, 2008 03:35
SHORT URL:
VIEWED: 1652
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Tuesday, October 28, 2008 7:52 PM

FREMDFIRMA


To quote Mal - "Ayup, that went well.."

Sooo, let's try a different tack, since politics is on everyones mind, right ?

Titles and authors of (fictional) ridiculous political books - don't hold back, the more over the top, the better!

I'll toss out some in the next post.

-F

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Tuesday, October 28, 2008 7:53 PM

FREMDFIRMA


=======
The turd that wouldn't flush.
Surviving the post republican era backlash.
-Karl Rove.

Sound like you mean it.
How to speak evil without sounding like a moron.
-H. Kissinger, w/special dedication to "W".

Socialism and you!
How to spread the wealth, to yourself!
-B. Obama.

Political voodoo for the masses.
And how to stick the pins in.
-Don Rumsfeld.

How to make good sense look ridiculous.
And really irrate everyone.
-John Lee.

How to totally get away with it.
And nearly help your wife do it too!
-Bill Clinton

My life as presedint
And why dose evryone hate me ?
-G. Bush

The Mechanics of economic political arson.
They had it coming.
-G. Soros.

The whisper that carries like a scream.
A how-to guide for every kind of political sabotage.
-F. Firma

Why Israel is better than you.
And why they're richer, suckers!
-Paul Wolfowitz.

Think like a queen!
A womans get rich guide.
-S. Palin.

Me and 534 morons.
How I really feel about it.
-Ron Paul.

It's all about me baby!
The official, authorised autobiography.
-R. Nader.

String Pulling for dummies.
Includes special chapter, string pulling OF dummies.
-Dick Cheney, w/special dedication to "friend Sarah".

How to not get elected.
But look like you're trying to.
-B. Barr.

Foot from mouth extraction.
A how-to guide for political missteps.
-R Murdoch.

A treatise on the mechanics of general stuff.
How to project obfuscation and stupidity while you sharpen the blade.
-Joe Biden.

Political assclowning for fun and profit.
How to roll over the big bucks.
-Rush Limbaugh.

Selling out.
They did it to me, so I did it to you.
-Howard Dean.

A beginners guide to media manipulation.
The Sinclair legacy, and how it happened.
-David D Smith.

=======================================
Oh man, this is too easy, not to mention fun!

Have at it folks!

-F

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Tuesday, October 28, 2008 9:52 PM

RIGHTEOUS9


Those are some good ones.

I'll probably cringe at these in the morning,
but I bothered to write some.




Don't tell Us what their Rights Are

"A treatise on how Constitutional Rights should be violated much more representatively - at the State level"

- Ron Paul

How I Will be Vindicted

"Does that sound like a prison movie with that Diesel fella as a big homo inmate to anybody else? hehehe..."

-doubleU(that's my pen name)


Catastrophic Success - how time will make me rite

"and damn Jesus, do i have to bring about the whole judgement thing myself already? Sheesh, it's getting pretty hot down here."

George W.

Well Pardon Me, and you, and you, and you, not you fucker, and you, and you...and you turdblossom

"My famouser Pardon list than all the Other Presidents combined...you will know their names but not their crimes...hehehe"

-Georgie


Avoiding Liberal Mind Tricks

"how saying lalalalala in your head, and sometimes out loud, can be the best defense against speaking frankly"

- Michele Bachman

Gateway to Armageddan

"How we gave them Christianity and a place on the bus to ride, and how they took our White House and left us with Penis Envy"

- Pat Buchanon

Fuck you America - The George W. Bush Hand Gesture Pop-up Book

"Had me in stitches so bad I almost choked on another pretzel...a must read for all Americans with a good sense of humor. Hey, can you hear this? I'lll turn it up..heheheh" - George W. Bush

North, South, East and West of Bagdad

"how to cover your knowns, known unknowns and Unknown Unknowns with ambiguous Bullhooey"

-Donald Rumsfeld

One More C--- I have to Live With

"Now...no I never called Cunty a Cin...I never...look, even if Palin is one, is that really a bad thing, my friends? I think no...because it just shows how much mavericks we can be together...disagreeing, namecalling..woah there...heh. "

-John Mccain


Everybody in Washington is to blame! - Lets Pillory some Liberals

"How this self-made independant chooses his targets when he plays a straight shooter on TV, and how you should too, pinheads."

- Bill O'reilly


Say it aint so Joe, but If it aint Straight Talk, its Gay Talk

"Mavericky Hints on How I will Govern as Vice President"

-Sarah Palin

Off The Table

"Congressional ettiquetes, including good table manners - a healthy respect for the tablespace where we bend over the American Public and have our way with it."

- Nancy Pelosi


-

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Wednesday, October 29, 2008 5:27 AM

RIGHTEOUS9


How to Walk on Water, But only if you're Me

"and How to deny being the Messiah with the use of humility and Self-Deprication, but then nobody is calling you the Messiah are they? I'm starting to believe the hype, bitches!"

- Barrack Obama


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Wednesday, October 29, 2008 6:24 AM

FREMDFIRMA


Oh come on now, here I am giving our resident right a free and open shot to bust some liberal chops in all good fun and no one's takin it ?

I'll ever prime the pump by bogarting from Whozit.

Hot sweaty mansex.
Gettin your same-sex freak on.
-B. Obama

Come on guys, play with us...

-F

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Wednesday, October 29, 2008 6:35 AM

WULFENSTAR

http://youtu.be/VUnGTXRxGHg


- Who Stole Our Country?
R. Paul

- How to Be a Token, and WIN!
B. Obama

- Im the Man for the JOB!
H. Clinton

- Half White Makes Me ALLRIGHT!
B. Obama

- The Earth is Ending so Get Your Freak On!
S. Palin

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Wednesday, October 29, 2008 6:52 AM

RIGHTEOUS9


I like that Palin one especially...

heh..that second Obama one is pretty good too...

by the way Frem,

what was the Howard Dean one in reference to? I probably just don't know that tidbit.

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Wednesday, October 29, 2008 6:53 AM

DEADLOCKVICTIM


Face Carving for Fun and Profit
My life as a 'cutter'
Ashley Todd

I am not a Crook
(yes i am)
R. Nixon

My favorite falafel
Bite me Olbermann
B. O'Riley

Armageddon
I ain't leavin' nothing standin'....merry fuckin christmas
G.W. Bush



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Wednesday, October 29, 2008 7:00 AM

RIVERLOVE


"How I Fucked Up" by Hillary Clinton

"Sleeping Alone" by Hillary Clinton

"How To Run For President While Carrying On A Long-Term Sexual Affair" by John Edwards

"How To Get A Sweetheart Mortgage from Countrywide Right Before They Go Bankrupt" By Chris Dodd

"How To Chair The House Finance Commitee For The Last two Years, and Still Not Take Any Responsibility For The Meltdown" by Barney Frank

" How To Have A Gay Lover On The Board Of Fannie Mae, And Still Be Objective, While Telling America In July That Fannie Was In Great Shape" by Barney Frank

"How To Blame George W. Bush For The Economic Meltdown In America, Despite The Fact That The Entire World's Markets Are Collapsing Too" by Howard Dean

And for some balance :

" How To Come Out Of Nowhere, Rise Quickly, Then Fade Back To Nothingness" By Sarah Palin

" How To Run The Absolute Worst Campaign In History" by McCain Campaign 2008

" How To Lose Any Credibility As An Independent Politician By Running Back To Washington To Vote With Bush" by John McCain



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Wednesday, October 29, 2008 7:16 AM

WULFENSTAR

http://youtu.be/VUnGTXRxGHg


How I really wanted to nail Palin
-B. Obama

How I really wanted to nail Palin
-H. Clinton

How I really wanted to nail Palin
-B. Clinton

How I really wanted to nail Palin
-N. Pelosi


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Wednesday, October 29, 2008 7:28 AM

DEADLOCKVICTIM



Thinking With the Little Head
How to win votes and influence horny old white men
S. Palin

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Wednesday, October 29, 2008 7:35 AM

DEADLOCKVICTIM


From Abumchuck to Zamboni
Naming your kids the Alaskan Way!
S. & T. Palin

Advertisement:
Stuck with a common name like Dave or Bob?
Try the Palin Baby Name Generator to give your kids a name they will hate until they are old enough to change it.
Try it NOW! It's FREE!
http://politsk.blogspot.com/2008/09/sarah_13.html

middle of page

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Wednesday, October 29, 2008 7:45 AM

WHOZIT


Half White Men can't jump - B. Obama

I'm going to microwave a bagel and have sex with it - Peter Griffin

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Wednesday, October 29, 2008 7:52 AM

KWICKO

"We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false." -- William Casey, Reagan's presidential campaign manager & CIA Director (from first staff meeting in 1981)


How I Really Wanted To Nail Palin:
I Mean, Seriously, Have You SEEN That Ass?
- John McCain

How I Really Wanted To Nail Todd Palin
- Karl Rove

The Good Half: How to Swallow Your Pride and Prejudice and Vote for a Halfrican-American!

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Wednesday, October 29, 2008 7:53 AM

WHOZIT


How to fix America's Economy and shove Gerbles up your ass - B. Frank

I'm going to microwave a bagel and have sex with it - Peter Griffin

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Wednesday, October 29, 2008 7:57 AM

KWICKO

"We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false." -- William Casey, Reagan's presidential campaign manager & CIA Director (from first staff meeting in 1981)


Quote:

Originally posted by Riverlove:
"How I Fucked Up" by Hillary Clinton

"Sleeping Alone" by Hillary Clinton

"How To Run For President While Carrying On A Long-Term Sexual Affair" by John Edwards

"How To Get A Sweetheart Mortgage from Countrywide Right Before They Go Bankrupt" By Chris Dodd

And for some balance :

" How To Come Out Of Nowhere, Rise Quickly, Then Fade Back To Nothingness" By Sarah Palin

" How To Run The Absolute Worst Campaign In History" by McCain Campaign 2008

" How To Lose Any Credibility As An Independent Politician By Running Back To Washington To Vote With Bush" by John McCain





Those are pretty awesome, River.

Kudos on the bipartisanship.

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Wednesday, October 29, 2008 8:00 AM

WHOZIT


The disgusting things I've done with my lips - B. Frank

I'm going to microwave a bagel and have sex with it - Peter Griffin

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Wednesday, October 29, 2008 8:31 AM

RIVERLOVE


Quote:

Originally posted by Kwicko:

Those are pretty awesome, River.

Kudos on the bipartisanship.



Kudos? Me? I must be losin' it. See what can happen on a "fun" thread. Now I won't kill you with my brain, I promise.

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Wednesday, October 29, 2008 8:51 AM

WHOZIT


The Botox shots help me see the future - J. Biden

I'm going to microwave a bagel and have sex with it - Peter Griffin

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Wednesday, October 29, 2008 9:05 AM

WHOZIT


Sex, Drugs and GO GO Boots: My years as a Prostitute in 1960's San Francisco - N. Pelosi

I'm going to microwave a bagel and have sex with it - Peter Griffin

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Wednesday, October 29, 2008 9:22 AM

WHOZIT


My years in Gay Porn: 1969 to the Presant - B. Frank

I'm going to microwave a bagel and have sex with it - Peter Griffin

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Wednesday, October 29, 2008 9:30 AM

WHOZIT


All those Penises: A Gay Congressmans Journey - B. Frank

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Wednesday, October 29, 2008 9:41 AM

WHOZIT


When I'm off my Meds I bump into things - H. Reid

I'm going to microwave a bagel and have sex with it - Peter Griffin

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Wednesday, October 29, 2008 9:43 AM

WHOZIT


Fat, Drunk, Crooked and ready to lead - C. Dodd

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Wednesday, October 29, 2008 9:46 AM

SIGNYM

I believe in solving problems, not sharing them.


How to Split Anything... from Logs to the Republican Party
S. Palin

Safe Hunting
R. Cheney

Mixing Religion and Politics: My Mission From God
G. Bush

Mixing Politics and Religion: My Godly Mission
S. Palin

How to Start a Fire Using Books
S. Palin

Self- Acceptance: How I Learned to Love Myself as a Self-Hating Homo Bastard
K. Rove

---------------------------------
Let's party like its 1929.

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Wednesday, October 29, 2008 10:06 AM

SIGNYM

I believe in solving problems, not sharing them.


How to Sell an Empty Suit
B. Obama

How to Sell an Empty Head
S. Palin

---------------------------------
Let's party like its 1929.

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Wednesday, October 29, 2008 10:23 AM

WHOZIT


When I drink too much I pee myself - C. Dodd

I'm going to microwave a bagel and have sex with it - Peter Griffin

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Wednesday, October 29, 2008 10:42 AM

WHOZIT


The things that have been in my ass: A warning - B. Frank

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Wednesday, October 29, 2008 10:51 AM

AURAPTOR

America loves a winner!


How to serve Human feet - Joe Biden



It is not those who use the term "Islamo-Fascism" who are sullying the name of Islam; it is the Islamo-Fascists. - Dennis Prager


" They don't like it when you shoot at 'em. I worked that out myself. "

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Wednesday, October 29, 2008 10:57 AM

WHOZIT


I'm going to have fun spending YOUR money on a lifestyle that you litte people could never dream about because yo's my bitch's now and I love big cars and Lobster so git to work so I can live off your sweat you stupid peons that'll belive anything my whores in the N.Y. & L.A. Times will tell you - M. Obama

I'm going to microwave a bagel and have sex with it - Peter Griffin

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Wednesday, October 29, 2008 11:18 AM

RUE

I have a vote and I'm not afraid to use it!


Self- Acceptance: How I Learned to Love Myself as a Self-Hating Homo Bastard
K. Rove

Awesome ...

***************************************************************

Silence is consent.

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Wednesday, October 29, 2008 11:33 AM

WHOZIT


I'll say anything to stay on the New York Party A-List - K. Olberman

I'm going to microwave a bagel and have sex with it - Peter Griffin

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Wednesday, October 29, 2008 12:10 PM

WHOZIT


I have a hangover, just leave the money on the desk and get out - C. Dodd

I'm going to microwave a bagel and have sex with it - Peter Griffin

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Wednesday, October 29, 2008 12:45 PM

WHOZIT


It's too late, now I'm the President. You're FUCKED! - B. Obama

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Wednesday, October 29, 2008 1:22 PM

FREMDFIRMA


LMAO, goood stuff folks, keep it comin...

And this one begs for a followup
Quote:

" How To Have A Gay Lover On The Board Of Fannie Mae, And Still Be Objective, While Telling America In July That Fannie Was In Great Shape" by Barney Frank

But dude, THAT Fanny *WAS* in great shape, which is why he was nailin it!


-F

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Wednesday, October 29, 2008 1:54 PM

GINOBIFFARONI


" The idiots guide to Presidental decidings "
G.W. Bush



Lets party like its 1939

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Wednesday, October 29, 2008 2:27 PM

SIGNYM

I believe in solving problems, not sharing them.


That's NOT What I Meant
Joe Biden

Wardrobe on a Budget
Sarah Palin



---------------------------------
Let's party like its 1929.

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Thursday, October 30, 2008 2:09 AM

WHOZIT


How the press distroyed itself in 2008 - K. Olberman

I'm going to microwave a bagel and have sex with it - Peter Griffin

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Thursday, October 30, 2008 10:16 AM

SHINYGOODGUY


Hey Fremmy, I almost pee'd at the first one....


The turd that wouldn't flush.
Surviving the post republican era backlash.
-Karl Rove.
_________________________________________

Media Savvy: Or How I Learned to Love Katie Couric
by S. Palin

How to Influence the American Vote: A Compilation of Anecdotes and Ribticklers by K. Rove, D. Cheney, and G.W. Bush (with a foreward by Jeb Bush)

How to Influence the American Vote: My Story, by Katherine Harris

Bend Over and Grab Your Ankles, A Message to Sarah Palin, by Katherine Harris

History Repeated Itself: My Years in the White House 2004-2008, by G.W. Bush

Lessons I Learned from the Viet Nam Era, by G.W. Bush

Four More Years, by The Christian Right

I've Got the Balls to Prove It, by H. Clinton

Politics and Selling Your Soul, by J. McCain

Never Put Lipstick on A Pig, by J. McCain

Don't rush me, I'm a thinkin', my head hurts!

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Thursday, October 30, 2008 11:16 AM

SHINYGOODGUY


More stuff......

Rhetoric: How I Got People to Believe That 2 and 2 is 5, by J. McCain

Talking Loud and Saying Nothing, by J. McCain

Saying Nothing and Talking Loud, by B. Obama

Small Town Girl and other Fables: The Sarah Palin Story as written by K. Couric

My Turds Really Don't Stink, by K. Couric

Oh No, She Didn't: My Interview with Sarah Palin, by C. Gibson

I Would Tear Her a New One: or How I Would Love to Interview Sarah Palin, by M. Lauer

Sex, Lies and You Will Know There Names or How I Exposed The Corruption of the Repub....Errr, I Mean the Democratic Party, by J. McCain

Anything He Can Do I Can Do Better, by J. McCain

When In Doubt, Bullshit Like There's No Tomorrow or How I Won the 2008 Election, by J. McCain

Wheeeee, I Get to Run the Senate: Reflections on My Job as VP, by S. Palin

I Can't Believe She Said That, submitted by the entire McCain 2008 Campaign Managers

Honest We Gave Those Clothes to Charity: or How It's Not Socialism If We Say So, by S. Palin and J. McCain

Young, Naive and Rich: How Charles Keating Tricked Me Into the Biggest Scandal in US History (Honest!) by J. McCain.
_____________________________________

Don't Believe The Hype!, Public Enemy

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Thursday, October 30, 2008 12:17 PM

FREMDFIRMA


Quote:

what was the Howard Dean one in reference to? I probably just don't know that tidbit.

The 'bigboys' of the party, the DLC/DNC didn't like him, they wanted someone more mainstream, more bendable, who would execute their will without bucking the harness...

And so they deliberately sabotaged him, to slip in Kerry, who then took a dive for his buddy bonesman...

And what does Dean do ?
Go Independant ? nope.

He signs up with the fuckers, got right down on his knees and started fellatin em, the fuckin pansy.

Like I said, I tend to hold a grudge.

-F

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Thursday, October 30, 2008 12:44 PM

WHOZIT


I can't find my pants, a Love Story - B. Frank

I'm going to microwave a bagel and have sex with it - Peter Griffin

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Thursday, October 30, 2008 12:54 PM

WHOZIT


The night I spent doing Jello Shots with Rock Hudson - B. Frank

I'm going to microwave a bagel and have sex with it - Peter Griffin

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Thursday, October 30, 2008 1:09 PM

WHOZIT


Wearing a thong makes me feel pretty - B. Frank

I'm going to microwave a bagel and have sex with it - Peter Griffin

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Friday, October 31, 2008 3:35 AM

RIGHTEOUS9



About Dean,

that is true for the most part I suppose, though I think that there is a marked difference between dnc and dlc leadership, mostly because Dean is the head of the DNC, so in a way I think he was a trojan horse for their sort of governance and campaigning.

If the DLC had had its way this campaign would have been Hillary's, though granted, on a policy level her and Obama were not so different.

And they have been continually butting heads with Dean, not so happy about the way he's spread the democratic wealth in a bottom-up fashion throughout all 50 states, and had we not taken back more seats than we lost 2 years ago, and had we not been on track to do the same this year, they would have been all too happy to boot him. I think he represents a change for the party, not a boot licking of the powers that be in the party...

but I don't know everything about it, honestly.

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