Wish Says I'm Crazy.... by 6IXSTRINGJACK

REAL WORLD EVENT DISCUSSIONS

Wish Says I'm Crazy....

POSTED BY: 6IXSTRINGJACK
UPDATED: Wednesday, October 12, 2016 22:08
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VIEWED: 1591
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Wednesday, September 21, 2016 11:42 PM

:)

You May Be Right. I May Be Crazy! :)

My question for you Wish..... Why So Serious?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

It's a proven fact that some of the most successful CEOs and business owners ever were on the cusp between insanity and genius.

There is actually nothing buffering that imaginary line aside from acts done by people after the fact.

In all actuality, it's about finding a sufficient outlet for your genius that is important, assuming you're not just given an amazing job by your Political relatives if you have them...

I'm not even 40 and my teeth are falling out. I'm still buff, but at the same time out of shape for my age from smoking and drinking too much. I'm more than moderately Genius, yet I have no direction. I wasn't raised to have self confidence, and schools don't teach you that, so I know I should but I don't.

So I bought a house with cash, fixed it up, and lived with it on minimum wage till the new Corporate Bitch came in and I was the first person she fired. I won the unemployment case after 4 months and could have won a case of wrongful termination and gotten my job back, but the "fun" of that job was gone the second she stepped in the door.

I don't mind working for minimum wage as long as it's zero outside stress. I'm such a perfectionist, I put enough stress on myself. I'll be damned if somebody is going to tell me I have to work harder than I'm already working just because she's too afraid to talk to her people who punch in and don't do a fucking thing.

So.... I haven't worked a single day in almost 18 months now.

I've still got a lot of money in the bank, and a 820+ credit score.

I've also gained 20 lbs and that just piles on how much I hate myself.

And I'm fucking bored Wish.

I've got a younger step-brother calling shots in renewable energies on the east coast and an even younger brother working for silocon valley.

My life is, literally, Stuck in the Middle by Stealer's Wheel....

I'm nearly 40. My aborted kid would have been 13 now. I have nobody and nothing to "care" for other than myself, and I literally hate myself.

Men are supposed to provide. Young men don't realize this yet, and some men never grow up, but for those who do but don't have anyone to provide for, it's miserable.

No man should be cursed with the free time I've allowed for myself these years. If I bought even one nice car and paid the insurance on it over the years, I wouldn't be able to live on nothing like I do now. But I've got a 20 year old POS that still runs and i can fix most of the small problems.

I can sometimes go 3 or 4 days with nobody's thoughts but mine in my own head. Most weeks the only time I hear my own voice is when I say pleasantries to cashiers.

I can't even hang out with all my old friends. They're all married with children now and I can't even draw from my childhood experience to pretend I know what that is like.

I'd say I'll make a great friend for them when 3/4 of them get divorced, but they're probably better off hanging out with their new friends at that point. The only advice I could give them about raising their kids at that point is what NOT to do. I couldn't tell them what works.

I regularly disappear from the very, extremely small circle of people I speak with anymore. So much so, that they rarely even call to see if I haven't killed myself anymore unless it's been a super long time.

Don't break my heart, Trump.

You're not only the first President I've been excited to vote for since I was old enough to vote, but I think you're the only chance we have to start paying off this debt and become a World Power that people take seriously again. You're the only slight sense of excitement I've felt in years.

It's not a question of "If".

I know you're going to win.

Just fucking do what you are saying you're going to do, or else nothing matters and I should have just voted for my own sweaty asshole.

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Thursday, September 22, 2016 12:35 AM

WISHIMAY

Hon, as sure as I am that the Earth goes round the Sol, I am sure you have a massive mental disorder. You try to rationalize out your behaviors as genius so you don't have to deal with anything. You repeat the same things over and over and over....No one responds to you, because as fucked up as half these people are they smell the crazy off you a mile away.
I don't know what's happened to you, because you seemed able to hold a conversation five years ago, but it's impossible now.

Your rambling posts scream schizo-affective disorder with a heavy clinical narcissist leaning.

You know why you can't tell someone they are a narcissist? Because their ego is so self-protecting they would never believe you....

I willing to bet that your balance, even when you aren't drinking is affected now? At some point, when you drink enough, the alcohol causes alcoholic cerebellar degeneration and cannot be fixed.

I'm not trying to call you out or hurt you, and I would love to see you get help, but I don't think it will happen. You can't even tell that your posts are beyond obnoxious.

I'm sorry your kid was aborted, but I can't imagine ANY woman to be able to live with you, and raise a well-adjusted child.

As I've said before Jack, please seek mental health...Show a doc these posts you've made if you don't believe there is anything wrong with you....

I wish you luck.

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Thursday, September 22, 2016 1:18 AM

6IXSTRINGJACK

I very likely have a mental disorder Wish. Without looking up Web-MD on that particular subject, I've wondered about it for years. I grew up categorizing my comics and baseball cards and other collectables as a kid in charts showing how much money I had.

My late Gramps always told me that it was all bullshit, and that things were only worth what you could get people to pay for them, but I always argued him and pretended my mountains of worthless cardboard was worth a ton of money because Beckett and Wizard magazines said they were.

About nobody responding here though, that's not my problem. The RWED used to thrive off of that behavior. Today, I think people avoid me because most of the time I make valid points. I'm not being inflammatory to anyone. I'm completely transparent about my own supposed, alleged and true problems.

Think about it Wish. Look back on the last 3 or so weeks of posts that I didn't originate, but I "ended".

Some of these posts were over 100 posts long.

Then, suddenly, I come along and post.

Then it's a dead post...

Am I the Grim Reaper?

If I was particularly a fool, that would be even easier to answer.

But posts from both the Left and the Right, somehow, after I speak about them, shut themselves down.

Not because I shut them down in any way.

But because I presented a Dead End that nobody from any side can further.... um... well.... further...

Do I need help?

That's a loaded question Wish. I've never hit or even slapped a woman. But at the same time, while I was super drunk while haning out with my brothers, my younger brother said something that embarassed me and I got up in his face and head butted him and broke his nose. I was 22 years old at the time. Definately old enough to NOT do this type of stuff. I immediately left the party after him and followed him back to our grandma's trailer (at Jellystone Park) and for over an hour said I was sorry and begged him to come back out and told him I wouldn't go back until he did. He was just about to join the Army after 2001 and that's how I treated him. After almost an hour of berating him, he went back to the party and a beautiful girl gave him the send-off he deserved for joining AFTER shit went down.

I can insanely control people when I get to know them. Like Hannibal Lecter type of control. It's the reason that I don't watch any of the Saw Movies and shit. I like horror when it comes to supernatural shit that I also somewhat believe in, but I wont' watch fiction movies where people hurt people.

As much as I've personally hated people in my life, I really love People. Empathy is my Curse.

Or at least, I have no idea how to make money off of Empathy.

I can't even kill bugs. If a spider in my house is bigger than my comfort zone, I catch it in a cup and let it outside. The only bugs I ever see in my unfinished house with a dirt crawl space are spiders, BTW. They are paying their rent, and they don't bite me.

I don't know if I believe in Karma even, but the truth is that since my late teens I never got bit by mosquitos at parties when everyone else was getting bit. I'd just laugh at them while they sprayed themselves with compounds that are only today being found to cause skin cancer.

There's never any "Help".

I'll never be "Normal".

I'll never be Normal because I would never want to be Normal.

The first 15 minutes of White Christmas probably fucked half of the minds that watched it......

Keep watching Wish...

There was no "block" button on life back in 2004, but there might as well have been.

I believe that one is only "insane" if they are unable to conform to their social circle and/or they make threats to those out of it.

I'm not insane Wish.

I'm just utterly, entirely, alone.

And I have nobody to blame for that but myself.

I would ask that if some day I say something drunkenly like "I'm going to kill you", only one single time to somebody here, without any follow up, that you'll just say that "Jack was fucked up and just said shit like that".

I would never hurt anyone, at least physically. I'm like the Tin Man from OZ. I go out of my way to protect insects. My empathy is fucking crippling.

I'd post "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road" by Elton John here, but I don't want to take away from anyone who is watching White Christmas here or the other thread now....

Quote:
Originally posted by Wishimay:
Hon, as sure as I am that the Earth goes round the Sol, I am sure you have a massive mental disorder. You try to rationalize out your behaviors as genius so you don't have to deal with anything. You repeat the same things over and over and over....No one responds to you, because as fucked up as half these people are they smell the crazy off you a mile away.
I don't know what's happened to you, because you seemed able to hold a conversation five years ago, but it's impossible now.

Your rambling posts scream schizo-affective disorder with a heavy clinical narcissist leaning.

You know why you can't tell someone they are a narcissist? Because their ego is so self-protecting they would never believe you....

I willing to bet that your balance, even when you aren't drinking is affected now? At some point, when you drink enough, the alcohol causes alcoholic cerebellar degeneration and cannot be fixed.

I'm not trying to call you out or hurt you, and I would love to see you get help, but I don't think it will happen. You can't even tell that your posts are beyond obnoxious.

I'm sorry your kid was aborted, but I can't imagine ANY woman to be able to live with you, and raise a well-adjusted child.

As I've said before Jack, please seek mental health...Show a doc these posts you've made if you don't believe there is anything wrong with you....

I wish you luck.

Do Right, Be Right. :)

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Thursday, September 22, 2016 8:37 AM

WISHIMAY

NO ONE said you have to be normal. I think we're ALL here because we are not normal.

However, your mental health is such that you are hurting yourself, and not functioning socially. People CAN'T respond to you because you make no sense. Not even for RWED standards.

Everyone vilifies taking pills, but having lived with someone who desperately needs to be on them the difference is like rolling a boulder up a hill vs going for a leisurely stroll.

I assure you the self-medicating is making everything WORSE.

PLEASE, GO SEE A DOCTOR.

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Tuesday, September 27, 2016 6:34 PM

BYTEMITE

Wish, I admire you for trying.

Jack, as someone who is all alone, who has watched all my friends get married and have kids and move away, and retreated into my shell to the point where if I try to reach out to them by email they ignore it, I can relate.

I'm 31. I wanted to die if I ever hit thirty, and I seriously thought about suicide at 18, even though I had been on meds and gone off them because I supposedly felt better. You don't consider suicide at 18 if you feel better! I was a dumb kid. You can be smart and dumb at the same time. All I did by being tough and avoiding seeking treatment and medication was just cripple myself and my ability to socialize.

The fact is, I will always be alone. I have issues even imagining relationships with people - the idea of affection or sentimentality is still abhorrent to me. Sharing space with someone, subjecting them to all my bullshit, what a nightmare for the both of us. I refuse to torture someone that way.

But you, Jack, you could still fix things. You're forty, and forty year old men still get married all the time. Hell, you could donate sperm if you're worried about not leaving a legacy behind.

And all the things in your head that keep you from feeling fulfilled or having a social life, you can fix them if you would talk to someone who is trained to understand those thoughts and help you figure out a new path forward.

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Wednesday, October 12, 2016 10:08 PM

WISHIMAY

I just thought I would mention that out of the last 100 threads posted here, Jack, you have posted 35 of them.

And you are mainly talking about yourself. To yourself.

Surely that has to say SOMETHING?

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