Here is why our BDM didn't take off like we had hoped! by GutsC1

GENERAL DISCUSSIONS

Here is why our BDM didn't take off like we had hoped!

POSTED BY: GUTSC1
UPDATED: Thursday, February 2, 2006 11:40
SHORT URL:
VIEWED: 7281
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Tuesday, January 31, 2006 4:59 PM

Hey Guys isn’t amazing how hindsight can be 20/20. Here are my thoughts as to why our BDM didn’t do as well as we all had hoped at the box office and also why it’s not flying off the shelf at the video rental.

Consider this, although Mary Parent championed the BDM at Universal (Mary I love you!!), I believe their marketing division looked at “Serenity” and like FOX didn’t quite “get it”. Notice that the movie was marketed as an Action Heroine flick. Look at all of the publicity, teaser trailers, the movie poster, and DVD cover, etc…; Action Heroin genre.

Lets look at the box office performance for last year and a half of Action Heroine flicks:

Catwoman: By WB; staring super hottie, big name star, and academy award winner Halle Berry; Budget $100 million; Domestic released on 07/23/04 for 13 weeks; Gross only a meager $40.2 million. Hell, not even a marketing budget estimated at $32 million could help it.

http://www.boxofficemojo.com/movies/?id=catwoman.htm

Electra: By FOX; staring another action hottie, Jennifer Garner: Budget $43 million, Domestic released on 01/14/05 for 11 weeks; Gross $24.4 million.

http://www.boxofficemojo.com/movies/?id=elektra.htm

Serenity: By Universal; staring all of our BDHs, Budget $39 million; Domestic released on 09/30/05 for only 7 weeks (WTF). This my friends is what happens when you release a movie too late in the year and want to get it to stores by Christmas!!; Gross $25.5 Million.

http://www.boxofficemojo.com/movies/?id=serenity.htm

Aeon Flux: By Paramount; staring yet another big name star and academy award winner, Charlize Theron; Budget $62 Million; Domestic released on 12/02/05 for about 8.5 weeks so far; Gross $25.8 million.

http://www.boxofficemojo.com/movies/?id=aeonflux.htm

Say, is anyone seeing a trend here??? I’m sorry to say I didn’t get to see the BDM in the theaters. Why, because I wasn’t familiar with the verse at that time, and all the promotion I saw made me feel like it was just another one of those action heroine movies that quite frankly had limited appeal. Hence, the Box Office numbers.

My entire point is this, no matter how incredible a show is, a marketing misstep along the way can spell disaster to the success of an otherwise awesome project. Why did the BDM get great reviews and pretty good buzz across the board and still not perform as hoped? Because the ineffective marketing campaign created a preconceived notion of what the movie was about, and even good press couldn’t overcome it. Don’t get me wrong Summer kicking major butt was very cool, it’s just the movie like the show was not “one dimensional”; it was so much more!!

Ok, those are my thoughts, sound off and let me know what you think…

Mal: Jayne, just how many weapons you plan on taking? You only got the two arms.
Jayne: I just get excitable as to choice. Like to keep my options open.
Mal: I don’t plan on any shooting taking place during this job.
Jayne: Yeah, well what you plan and what takes place ain’t ever exactly been similar.
Mal: No grenades.

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Tuesday, January 31, 2006 5:24 PM

AUNTYCHRIS

Sad as that is, I'd have to agree with you. Both on the limited appeal of Action Heroines and the importance of marketing. I really hate trailers that smash me in the face with action. I want to know how the story is, what are the characters like. I spend more time reading reviews for movies that I do watching them because I don't want to waste my time on one-dimensional crap, when you watch trailers these days that is all you see. Firefly was such a fantastic movie, but if I hadn't watch the TV show I probably wouldn't have watched the movie, based on the trailers.

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Tuesday, January 31, 2006 5:30 PM

CARTOON

Quote:
Originally posted by auntychris:
I spend more time reading reviews for movies that I do watching them because I don't want to waste my time on one-dimensional crap, when you watch trailers these days that is all you see.

Wholly agree.

I don't go see any movie these days without first reading reviews by reviewers I can trust. There's too much subject matter and things that people put into movies which I don't want to waste my time or money on, so I largely depend on the reviews before I'll even consider spending a cent. The trailer interested me in this film, but it was the reviews that clinched it.

What really surprised me was that the sites I go to for reviews generally pan films like this, and both of them liked it. Now, granted, I already wanted to see it, but that guaranteed it.

It's a shame that more of these positive reviews weren't utilized in the marketing of this film. I think they would've helped it a lot.

""All I got was a dumbass stick that sounds like it's raining. How come you got a wife?!?!"

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Tuesday, January 31, 2006 6:36 PM

MISBEHAVIN

Quote:
Originally posted by cartoon:
...The trailer interested me in this film, but it was the reviews that clinched it...

Same for me. I loved the humor in the trailer, and when I read great reviews and heard about the fan base, I put it on my must-see list.

Quote:
...It's a shame that more of these positive reviews weren't utilized in the marketing of this film. I think they would've helped it a lot....

I agree.

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Tuesday, January 31, 2006 6:36 PM

MISBEHAVIN

Quote:
Originally posted by cartoon:
...The trailer interested me in this film, but it was the reviews that clinched it...

Same for me. I loved the humor in the trailer, and when I read great reviews and heard about the fan base, I put it on my must-see list.

Quote:
...It's a shame that more of these positive reviews weren't utilized in the marketing of this film. I think they would've helped it a lot....

I agree.

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Tuesday, January 31, 2006 8:09 PM

KANESKI

To be fair, the nature of Firefly/Serenity would be pretty difficult to describe in a trailer and/or a short description (poster/dvd cover/etc). It's the old question - "what's the show about?". Hell, I still don't know how to explain it.

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Tuesday, January 31, 2006 8:37 PM

MRBEN

I hadn't seen the series at all (although I had heard about iton /.) and went to see the film based almost entirely on the trailers because I thought it looked cool.

Am now doubly looking forward to the (eventual) release on DVD here (UK) now that I have seen the series (and the light!) as I now have the appropriate mental connection with the characters.

So - I suppose the trailer worked for some people. I would like to see the figures on films that were marketted purely as sci-fi?

mrben

"Carpe Aptenodytes"
http://www.jedimoose.org

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Tuesday, January 31, 2006 11:23 PM

SMOOF

Greetings... been lurking here for a while and figured I'd finally post something.

I think a great way to market it would have been something like:
*In that deep movie guy voice*
White text on black background:
"See these guys?"
Quick shot of a Reaver or two:
"You've never heard of Reavers?"
"Well, campfire stories--men gone savage on the edge of space killing an-"
"They're not stories."
"What happens if they board us?"
"If they take the ship, they'll rape us to death, eat our flesh, and sew our skins into their clothing, and if we're very, very lucky, they'll do it in that order."
back to black screen and white text:
"If you don't see this movie, THEY are coming to get you in your sleep tonight."

It's the feel good movie of the year!

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Wednesday, February 1, 2006 3:44 AM

TAISHAN

Quote:
Originally posted by GutsC1:
Look at all of the publicity, teaser trailers, the movie poster, and DVD cover, etc…; Action Heroin genre.

Lets look at the box office performance for last year and a half of Action Heroine flicks:

Catwoman: By WB; staring super hottie, big name star, and academy award winner Halle Berry; Budget $100 million; Domestic released on 07/23/04 for 13 weeks; Gross only a meager $40.2 million. Hell, not even a marketing budget estimated at $32 million could help it.

http://www.boxofficemojo.com/movies/?id=catwoman.htm

Electra: By FOX; staring another action hottie, Jennifer Garner: Budget $43 million, Domestic released on 01/14/05 for 11 weeks; Gross $24.4 million.

http://www.boxofficemojo.com/movies/?id=elektra.htm

Aeon Flux: By Paramount; staring yet another big name star and academy award winner, Charlize Theron; Budget $62 Million; Domestic released on 12/02/05 for about 8.5 weeks so far; Gross $25.8 million.

http://www.boxofficemojo.com/movies/?id=aeonflux.htm

Say, is anyone seeing a trend here??? I’m sorry to say I didn’t get to see the BDM in the theaters. Why, because I wasn’t familiar with the verse at that time, and all the promotion I saw made me feel like it was just another one of those action heroine movies that quite frankly had limited appeal. Hence, the Box Office numbers.

My entire point is this, no matter how incredible a show is, a marketing misstep along the way can spell disaster to the success of an otherwise awesome project. Why did the BDM get great reviews and pretty good buzz across the board and still not perform as hoped? Because the ineffective marketing campaign created a preconceived notion of what the movie was about, and even good press couldn’t overcome it. Don’t get me wrong Summer kicking major butt was very cool, it’s just the movie like the show was not “one dimensional”; it was so much more!!

Ok, those are my thoughts, sound off and let me know what you think…

Here's the problem with your theory....all those movies were crappy! Bad writing, bad fighting, bad effects and acting...You can't blame the marketing, because no matter how bad marketing may be for a movie if its good, word of mouth will spread and get the numbers up. Kind of like those independent films that no one ever hears of until it gets popular and everyone runs off to see it. Like Spiderman or X-Man, both Action Heroe flicks, and both were considered box office hits.

As for the BDM, well compared to many other shows, Firefly still has a pretty small fan base. And it doesn't help that, to outsiders, fans are more to the side of being nearly like stereotypical Trekkies which tends to happen with fan bases of sci-fi shows. And so things people should see get passed over....notice the Oscar nomination snub.

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Wednesday, February 1, 2006 4:21 AM

CARTOON

Quote:
Originally posted by Smoof:
I think a great way to market it would have been something like:

I laughed my posterior off!! Now, I have nothing on which to sit!! Curse you for your hysterical trailer suggestion!!!

You should've written the trailer. Or at least one of the trailers -- You know, some movies actually do several trailers, and tailor them to different audiences. Would've been nice if they did that, huh? Duh.

I think most of us would be better marketers for this film (or any film we enjoy) rather than the gnat-brained idiots who did it for "Serenity". (And if any of those gnat-brained idiots who marketed this film actually partake in this forum, I'm sorry, but the shoe fits. This film was horribly marketed.)

"I got stabbed. Right here."

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Wednesday, February 1, 2006 5:02 AM

GUTSC1

Oh, no question about it. Trying to market the series or the BDM to someone who's not familiar with the verse is a nightmare. Myself, I feel that going the Action Adventure route for the BDM would've been the way to go, instead of Action Heroine.

The marketing focus should've been on the adventure, the dark secret in the case of the BDM to be unraveled, the scary truth, not the butt kicking heroine. You know "Why is our crew fugitives on the run, Why is Big Brother trying to hunt them down. Almost eveyone wants to root for the underdog, find out the dirt on the government. All I'm saying is that I feel that was the angle to exploit.

And only 7 weeks in domestic release doesn't give a movie the chance to generate a second life due to good buzz!

I was just trying to look at this objectivly and from a purely business perspective at this point to determine why it wasn't the commercial success we hoped it would be. Because that my friends is going to determine whether it really has a real chance to be resurected in some form.

Mal: Jayne, just how many weapons you plan on taking? You only got the two arms.
Jayne: I just get excitable as to choice. Like to keep my options open.
Mal: I don’t plan on any shooting taking place during this job.
Jayne: Yeah, well what you plan and what takes place ain’t ever exactly been similar.
Mal: No grenades.

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Wednesday, February 1, 2006 5:09 AM

BREWGRL

While your theory on the action trailer is apt there were a number of other problems with marketing. For example there were a few comercials on tv before our BDM opened. I caught a few around 11:00 pm during the Daily Show. However, after the opening weekend, when we reached number 2 at the box office all the advertising just faded away. How can you pull advertising after just the first week and expect that people will know the movie is out there? Unfortunately, many people I talked to had never even heard of the movie. Too few people saw the trailers and commercials, which as stated above where not that appealing to begin with.

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Wednesday, February 1, 2006 5:32 AM

FOLLOWMAL

I believe it was also just a bad year at the boxoffice. People just weren't going to the movies as much. I know lots of folks that wait for a movie to come out on DVD, even if it's one they WANT to see, because it's cheaper and more convenient.

Also Hurricane Katrina and the subsequent raise in fuel prices hit peoples wallets. Made it hard to justify going to the movies for regular folks.

I think the poor marketing, bad year, late release, too short a time in theatres and the hard to market concept all ganged up on our beloved movie and made for heartache.

We will just have to make them understand with DVD sales. That is all there is to that.

" You hold. Hold til I get back." Mal

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Wednesday, February 1, 2006 6:03 AM

WEREALLJUSTFLOATING

I also think that the marketing of the film misfired bigtime. Not that Universal weren't behind the film, (cos I think they were -in a way Fox should have been) but I think that they simply focused on the wrong demographic.

As I understand it, the first batch of prescreenings were not organised solely for the fans, but for the general public. However once word got out amongst the Browncoats that the BDM was being shown in advance, the hype snowballed and I honestly think Universal thought they had the marketing sewn up. The only problem is, they never needed to market the film to us in the first place!! They were just preachin' to the choir. Even if I had never seen one trailer or poster or scrap of media coverage before the film opened I would have been there opening weekend.

Don't get me wrong I loved the trailer, especially the UK one, I loved the River Tam sessions, I actively looked for any and all interviews and articles I could find on the BDM, but my point is - I was already a fan. To me, the marketing campaign was tailored to the sci-fi/teenage/MTV audience - which limited it's appeal - instead of a broader audience.

Anyone I tried to sell the film to was just plain confused: is it a comedy, a horror, an action film, a western, a sci-fi? In my humble opinion the marketing should have sold the film as an action-adventure, a la Indiana Jones - but darker. We all know how difficult it is to sum up Serenity accuratley in a few short words but that is what was needed to draw in the uninitiated. I was also disappointed not to see any of the actors appearing on chat shows like Jay Leno or Conan O'Brien, I think that could have helped persuade people to go out and see it. Ah well, my rant's over. What? I'm not bitter, not in the slightest....

We're still flying.

That's not much.

It's enough.

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Wednesday, February 1, 2006 6:54 AM

SUICIDALDUCKLING

Based on last weekend's US boxoffice results, my theory is that the BDM didn't take off because it didn't have enough men dressed as fat old women. When your movie has a man dressed as a fat old woman, it practically sells itself.

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Wednesday, February 1, 2006 7:19 AM

SAMEERTIA

lol at the fat old women thing!

But seriously, the problem with "action heroine flicks" is that they are written by guys, for guys, and then the hottest possible star is found to star in them.
Frankly, they suck.
We need action about women written by WOMEN with actresses who can act. Wouldn't that be charming?

And yes, the marketing for "Serenity" was entirely WRONG! Hell, I didn't even know what it was about until AFTER I'd seen it.
Sad. But true.

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Wednesday, February 1, 2006 8:24 AM

MOHRSTOUTBEARD

Quote:
Originally posted by SuicidalDuckling:
When your movie has a man dressed as a fat old woman, it practically sells itself.

The realization that Big Momma's House 2 made more in one weekend than the entire domestic run of Serenity is rather horrific to me (like a story H.P. Lovecraft would write using long chains of adjectives like "eldritch" and "abominable" and whose protagonist would eventually go mad).

------------------
"Remember, there's a big difference between kneeling down and bending over."

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Wednesday, February 1, 2006 8:48 AM

THEMANTHEYCALLEDJAMES

I heard about Firefly when it came out because I was a Big Buffy/Angel Fan but the show has cancelled before I ever saw an episode all the way through.
-The trailers last year just made the film look stupid so I never saw it until I saw "Out of Gas" and "Our Mrs. Reynolds" on the Sci-fi channel Marython. Only then did I go rent the DVD. Which I loved
...
come to think of it those were the perfect episodes to watch before the seeing the film because they had nothing to do with River

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Wednesday, February 1, 2006 9:11 AM

PIRATENEWS

John Lee, conspiracy therapist at Hollywood award-winner History Channel-mocked SNL-spoofed PirateNew.org wooHOO!!!!!!

Yeah, I never saw FireFly on Fox, though I would have had I known it existed, as a fan of BTVS/ATVS.

SBDM's full-length trailer spoils the entire story in a nutshell. Once you've seen the trailer, there's no need to see the movie. It's possible to OD on "action", as my own music video of Serenity The Pilot proves. Fox execs should have done a pre-series trailer like this, to presell FireFly for 6 months, like done with Star Wars episode 1:

FIREFLY SERENITY PILOT MUSIC VIDEO:
http://radio.indymedia.org/news/2006/01/8310.php

That's amazing that SBDM "broke even" when star movies lost money, probably due to payroll for overpaid stars.

But the average American is hurting, strangled by a 50% tax rate that Gangsta Govt wants to double ASAP. It's hard to pay $20 a head to see a movie, when you can't afford to fill up your gas tank. Or if you're living in a FEMA concentration camp, because your city was bombed by the White House and CIA.

It's hard to buy a movie ticket if you're dead, because you're one of 2.5-million Americans genocided in Death Camps, er, "hospitals" every year:
www.lef.org/magazine/mag2004/mar2004_awsi_01.htm

2005 was a horrible year for the US economy, with 200%/300% inflation for gasoline, 40% devaluation of the dollar, and currently the US govt is billions of dollars overdrawn on its Federal Reserve Bank Corporation overdraft loan of $7-trillion (Fed Bank Inc run by Sir Alan Greenspan Knight of the British Empire). 30-million criminal aliens are sucking millions of jobs and billions of dollars in welfare, exported to the Mexican economy, with immunity from arrest and prosecution. The US govt is borrowing billions of dollars from foreign investors to pay US factories and farms to export millions of US jobs, to nations like Communist China that brags how it wants to nuke 200 US cities to invade Taiwan. GM and Ford fired 1-million US employees in 2005, as they exported their factories to Commie China. $70-trillion dollars was looted in 2005 from govt CAFR pension funds, not counting the private pensions that disappeared from the bankrupt airlines, the dead steel mills, bankrupt ENRON, et al. King George II has outspent/outborrowed all the previous 44 presidents combined, selling his slaves as collateral to foregn powers that now own the mortgage on USA, including Commie China (is Joss psychic?).

VIDEO DOWNLOAD:
State of Dis Union
Voice by our Commander In Cheat
Music by Counter Coup and John Lee
http://radio.indymedia.org/news/2005/09/6733.php

Mafia-owned movie theaters don't have to turn a profit to survive, since they're merely laundering CIA cocaine and heroin profits, so they can survive no matter how few customers they have.

The owners of Serenity, Universal Studios, is owned by Carlyle Group, the CIA-run Pentagon profiteer, owned by Sir George Bush Sr Knight of the British Empire (CIA), British Prime Minister John Major (MI5/6), the German Queen Elizabeth Sax CoBerg Gotha of England (MI5/6), and the Bin Laden family (CIA/MI6). After King George II promoted a Knight of the British Empire as president of Afghanistan, heroin production is up 10,000%, with its "parliament" now legalizing opium farming, just like the Bolivian "parliament" did with coca farming after the CIA's cocaine-coup. At $1-billion/ton retail price, heroin is worth its weight in gold, and that money has to be laundered through CIA/MI6 banks and Wall Street, including "Hollywood" (which is already 80% exported). So the narco-kingpins who own Serenity have unlimited money to launder by marketing Serenity, IF they wanted to. War is a racket, and business is GOOD.

SBDM tells the story of the Bush Gang's CIA MKULTRA Project Monarch mind-kontrolled slave program. Either this is whistleblowing by Joss, or an inside joke and insider trading by CIA, to cash in on their investment, and perhaps to reinforce their multi-million man/woman army of sleeper zombies. So is this why Fox censored FireFly, owned by Sir Rupert Murdock, Australian Knight of the British Empire (MI6), and why Universal sandbagged its marketing of Serenity?

Or are we all sleeper agents of MKULTRA, addicted to the subliminal triggers of Project Monarch?

Imagine the SBDM promo, B/W text plus deep damn voice:

"CIA MKULTRA Mind Kontrol - it's not just for Earthlings anymore..."

Then images of River's brain getting jacked like The Matrix... Then River dancing like Bruce Lee in The Matrix.

Promo 2, news video, in a parody of fake TV news broadcaster with a deep damn voice selling fear:

"Columbine, etc. Homicidal maniacs brain-damaged by Paxil HCl, et al. Fouride toxic waste added to the water supplies in Nazi Death Camps and US cities. Poisonous Barium added to chemtrails by jet aircraft."

Then images of Reavers doing their thing on Paxilon HCl.

Neuro Linguistic Programming mixes one thought to overstamp it with another opposite thought, as routinely used in advertising, lawsuits and Tony Robbins infomercials. So promos for FF & SBDM can use NLP to NOT suspend disbelief, and tie "sci-fi" to the Real World. Scary monsters - FOR REAL.

What a fascinating show!

"You can't stop the signal!"
-Mr Universe, STM, Pirate TV

Pirate News TV
Knoxville, Tennessee
Winner Best Music Video
"We Never Went to the Moon"
(no rocket exhaust as Apollo LEM "blasted off" from the "moon")
Los Angeles Music Awards 2005
http://piratenews.org/hollywood.html
http://ufoetry.com

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Wednesday, February 1, 2006 11:17 AM

LWILLIS

Why didn't any of the stars do the talk-show circuit? I don't remember seeing anyone from Serenity on Leno/Letterman/etc.

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Wednesday, February 1, 2006 12:03 PM

GARBAGECANMUSIC

Any thoughts on the release date? I've always been of the theory that this should've been a summer movie...where people do more things, people get out of the house more, see more movies (even if moviegoing in general was down it would've done better than a late Sept. opening???)

Also, 7 weeks in theaters? And if you look at the numbers, most of the "big movies" get 3100 screen openings where Serenity got 2100 screens for TWO weeks. The third week was 1700, then the next week less than a 1000?

Jesus crimeny on a pogo stick...the movie has to be IN theaters for people to go see it! (not to mention that September was the WORST month ever....unfortunately you can't really blame anyone except Mother Nature and oil companies for that one. Well...you could blame.....oh never mind....)

The only reason I got to see Serenity was because I happen to live in a major metropolitan area, and I saw it on the last week of it's release (I came really late to the party). I saw it on the last night that I could've possibly seen it. It was a sunday night, late, and the theater was half full of people.

On a Sunday.

Sunday, LATE.

In the 7th week of the release.

OK....someone explain to me why these people get paid so much to constantly F*** up everything they get their hands on?

------------------------------------------------
How much is that little Geisha in the window?

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Thursday, February 2, 2006 8:18 AM

GUTSC1

See, the main reason I'm concerned about plans for Ace Underhill’s "Firefly Season 2". is MORE mishandling of our baby. Again, don't get me wrong I don't for a minute put Universal's misguided marketing attempt in the same boat as the FOX debacle, but the fact of the matter is that in both instances the marketing was a failure.

At each turn in the road, an exceptional project was put in misguided hands. Now whether this Underhill guy in-fact has good intentions in neither here or there at this point. The point is that he has VERY BADLY mishandled his initial attempt at getting the ball rolling. From every appearance, he wants to get sole control and call the shots, rather than pursue a joint co-production. Not a good call! I’d rather see the intellectual property in the hands of some kind of Mutant Enemy collaboration and the folk that know and love her rather than in the hands of an amateur!

So, at this point I’d just as soon see it sit on a shelf for a bit longer, and wait for “The Right Group” to champion Firefly / Serenity than to see our baby “Out of Gas” before it even has a chance to get going… again!! Remember the adage, “three strikes and you're out”. We’re already are at a 0 and 2 count. We can’t afford another misstep or I suspect “that will be all she wrote”!! Lets get it right this time. We all know this project in the right hands “has legs” for at least five seasons, and maybe even a couple more BDMs.

I know we’re all very eager, but lets be smart too!

Mal: Jayne, just how many weapons you plan on taking? You only got the two arms.
Jayne: I just get excitable as to choice. Like to keep my options open.
Mal: I don’t plan on any shooting taking place during this job.
Jayne: Yeah, well what you plan and what takes place ain’t ever exactly been similar.
Mal: No grenades.

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Thursday, February 2, 2006 10:41 AM

ORPHEUS

Actually, you want the REAL reason Serenity didn't score as big as we'd hoped? This is why:

Flightplan still scored #1 at the US box office the week Serenity opened. Had Serenity actually taken #1, you can bet the marketing campaigns would've reflected it. "SEE THE NUMBER ONE FILM IN AMERICA! SERENITY!"

Ok, might not have been THE reason, but it certainly didn't help.

____________________
"Were there monkeys? Some terrifying space monkeys maybe got loose?"

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Thursday, February 2, 2006 11:40 AM

QUEENOFTHENORTH

Quote:
Originally posted by SameErtia:
We need action about women written by WOMEN with actresses who can act. Wouldn't that be charming?

Yes, it would be. Like my book for example.

It's a fantasy adventure written by a woman (moi) with a woman as the central butt-kicking figure. Now, if it could just get adapted into a movie with a young actress who could act, I think it would make a great movie. And possibly revive everyone's faith in the action heroine genre.

"I'm having one of those things - a headache with pictures."

"Of course I'm right. And if I'm not, may we all be horribly crushed from above somehow."

Like books? Go to this thread: http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=2&t=14862
to find out how to buy mine!

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