GENERAL DISCUSSIONS

Screw Maxim Magazine

POSTED BY: MURKYMERC
UPDATED: Saturday, February 4, 2006 20:43
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Saturday, February 4, 2006 9:15 AM

MURKYMERC


As someone who just discovered Firefly from Serenity, and has now bought not only the compete series as well as the movie. Let me be one of the first to say screw Maxim magazine for their scathing reviews of both.

Allow me to demonstrate my full pettiness by not renewed my subscription next year. What would Mal say, "When you did it to my show and movie, you did it to me."

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Saturday, February 4, 2006 9:18 AM

CHRISPV


I don't generally patronize Maxim. What, pray tell, did they say about our beloved 'verse?

OOOOO! Do we get to organize a mob now? I've got pitchforks AND torches!

Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal, Fox!

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Saturday, February 4, 2006 9:19 AM

FRIDAYCRIES13


Yeah. They're no good.

And they're music magazine, Blender, is the biggest pile of misguided trash out there.

"That's why I never kiss them on the mouth."
-Jayne Cobb

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Saturday, February 4, 2006 9:37 AM

CHRISTHECYNIC


I've been told by a woman who writes for Maxim and Cosmo that Maxim is a more or less a toned down version of Cosmo for men instead of women.(I should point out she wasn't talking about the American version of Cosmo.)

From everything that I've heard of both I have to agree and thus will not read either based on pointless principle (I steer away from Cosmo like things.)

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Saturday, February 4, 2006 9:42 AM

MIMA


never admit to any intelligent woman you read maxim. it's an instant gigantic red X imprinted on your face.

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Saturday, February 4, 2006 10:03 AM

FOLLOWMAL




Welcome to the 'verse.

And good for you not renewing your subscription!




" You hold. Hold til I get back." Mal

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Saturday, February 4, 2006 10:09 AM

KIZYR


They have words in Maxim?

I didn't notice.

Wonder how talented you have to be as a writer to 'write' for them. KF



~KF

Lord, I'm walking your way. Let me in, for my feet are sore, my clothes are ragged.
Look in my eyes, Lord, and my sins will play out on them as on a screen. Read them all.
Forgive what you can and send me on my path. I will walk on until you bid me rest.

~Haven Prayer

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Saturday, February 4, 2006 11:09 AM

NDRAGE85


Quote:

Originally posted by fridaycries13:
Yeah. They're no good.

And they're music magazine, Blender, is the biggest pile of misguided trash out there.

"That's why I never kiss them on the mouth."
-Jayne Cobb



i actually enjoy Blender. they are a little misguided at times, but they are generally a great music magazine. it's just fun to read. i get sick of magazines like Rolling Stone who write like they are some sort of elitist pricks. Maxim on the other hand, don't ever read any sort of review they make. they're a joke. they make up their reviews based on how "cool" they think it will be. they don't even bother with the actual item. they review videogames months before magazines are even given advanced copies to review. and they give the crappiest ones good scores. it's a joke, that entire magazine is. so i really don't care what they have to say.

and on a sidenote, did Rolling Stone even review Serenity? because the last time i did a search on their website, it turned up nothing.

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Saturday, February 4, 2006 11:11 AM

AXIOS


I'm very curious as to what was actually written in the reviews.

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Saturday, February 4, 2006 11:16 AM

SAMEERTIA


Screw Maxim?
Frankly, I'd rather screw a lightbulb than that miserable rag.

(Although the "His/Hers" section is always good for a laugh, same as with Cosmo.)

Just ignore them. The kind of people who actually read Maxim are the kind of Alliance prigs we don't want anyway.

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Saturday, February 4, 2006 11:18 AM

NDRAGE85


LOL, i just read Maxim's review online. this guy is such a jackass it's hilarious. how does this idiot have a job? here it is, it makes you question whether he even watched the movie:

http://www.maximonline.com/entertainment/reviews.aspx?p_id=10703

2.5/5 stars
Reviewed by:
Pete Hammond

Writer/director Joss Whedon took a flop movie, Buffy The Vampire Slayer, and turned it into a hit TV series. Now with Serenity, he hopes to take his flop 2002 TV show, Firefly, and turn it into a hit movie. You gotta admit, the guy has balls. Serenity picks up where the show left off, which is great for the seven people who watched it. In the movie, the captain of the Serenity ends up on the losing side of a galactic war with only his trusty crew to depend on. But just when teamwork seems ready to prevail, two people from the evil alliance come aboard and tell him a secret that puts everyone in danger…or something like that. The plot is slightly incomprehensible and the cast…well, let's just say members of the Nathan Fillion and Gina Torres fan clubs will be psyched. As with the original TV show, the no-namers help make this sci-fi/Indiana Jones—style hybrid into a fairly entertaining romp. But if people wouldn't watch this for free, what makes Whedon think they're gonna pay 10 bucks?


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Saturday, February 4, 2006 11:31 AM

JOBI


Wow, Pete Hammond is a tard, it sounds like he hated the movie as soon as the title came up just for no other reason than to be a pathetic human being. I think we should all send him hate mail.



-----
Chuck Norris Doesnt Sleep He Waits

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Saturday, February 4, 2006 11:32 AM

CHRISTHECYNIC


Quote:

Originally posted by Kizyr:
They have words in Maxim?

I didn't notice.

Wonder how talented you have to be as a writer to 'write' for them. KF


Hey! I know someone who writes for them, as I said.

Which actually answers your question, to write for Maxim you need to be only as talented as someone who writes for Cosmo. I wish I remembered the other magazines she writes for so I could be more specific than just, "Cosmo."

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Saturday, February 4, 2006 11:32 AM

CAPTAINSHINY


LOL, this guy has all thhe wit of an unflushed toilet. Where did they find this guy? fox?

"The people who made the show, and the people who saw the show, which is roughly the same number of people, fell in love with it, a little bit too much to let it go, too much to lay down arms when when the battle looked pretty much lost. In Hollywood, people like that are called unrealistic, quixotic, obsessive... In my world, they're called Browncoats."
-Joss Whedon

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Saturday, February 4, 2006 11:41 AM

CHRISTHECYNIC


You know this is 179 words, I just checked it, so it barely qualifies as a review.

I'm not trying to support Maxim here, I'm not gonna get it, but when I think of someone writing for a magazine I think of an article writer, not a blurb writer. As such I don't think it's fair to judge Maxim writers on this.

I mean damn them for what they do, not what some moron wrote in less than 200 words.

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Saturday, February 4, 2006 11:49 AM

NUCKLES87


My god....that was an actual official MAGAZINE review?!

Thats probably one of the most low brow reviews I've ever read. Ever. I write better then this guy.

And once more, he doesn't even comment on the movie, just how popular it was. lol, seven people. Like how this guy assumes that because the show flopped there aren't any fans (500,000 an growing strong

Yeah Maxim, I can see how you can offer your rag for 75 cents. It must cost about that much to produce each month....



How's my firefly speak? Good? Bad? Fee-oo?

...It's fee-oo isn't it?

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Saturday, February 4, 2006 11:52 AM

SAMEERTIA


It's true. There are some very find articles in Maxim "How to Choose the Best Gym" with such stunning revelations as "Find one close to your home. Driving across town for your workout means you'll do it less often."


Anyway, reviews like this make me wonder if the reviewer even WATCHED the movie!!!
*Sigh*

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Saturday, February 4, 2006 12:22 PM

CHRISTHECYNIC


Quote:

Originally posted by SameErtia:
Anyway, reviews like this make me wonder if the reviewer even WATCHED the movie!!!
*Sigh*


Is it actually a review? Something just occured to me, it doesn't sound like a review at all but what it does sound like is the kind of short opinion bit that people do when they hear a movie is being put into production.

Guy is still a moron, but he never implies that it is a review or that he watched the movie.

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Saturday, February 4, 2006 12:36 PM

GEDEON


Quote:

But just when teamwork seems ready to prevail, two people from the evil alliance come aboard and tell him a secret that puts everyone in danger…or something like that.

Poor kid never saw the movie!

Simon and River are the two evil alliance people,
is that it?

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Saturday, February 4, 2006 1:01 PM

NOVASTARCLOUD


Quote:

Originally posted by Murkymerc:
As someone who just discovered Firefly from Serenity, and has now bought not only the compete series as well as the movie. Let me be one of the first to say screw Maxim magazine for their scathing reviews of both.

Allow me to demonstrate my full pettiness by not renewed my subscription next year. What would Mal say, "When you did it to my show and movie, you did it to me."



That's a great idea! However, may I suggest that you not simply allow the subscription to lapse. You have to send the offending mag-rag back to them, with a short note telling them why you don't want their mag-rag anymore. Name the writer by name and tell them it is blatently obvious that he never saw the movie (the ref. to the two evil alliance people coming on board). Since Mr. Hammond didn't see the movie, how can you trust anything they say? Remind them of how a certain writer just got roasted on national TV when everybody found out he lied in his book that was on the NY Times bestseller list...

OK, i'll shut up now. you get the point.

Grrr... i'm sorry, but that article made me mad.

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Saturday, February 4, 2006 1:23 PM

CHRISMOORHEAD


Maxim magazine is run by the same idiots who enjoy perpetuating stereotypes about men, guys who watch football, drink beer, and think tits and ass make any situation ten times better. I got a friend who doesn't like football planning on watching the Superbowl tommorow. Why? Because it's "tradition". Since when did tradition begin with an "R" and end with a "etarded"?

Here's some simple facts: Ultimate Fighting (Lidell vs. Couture 3 TONIGHT, YEEEAH!) is infinately better and manlier than football, beer smells like stale piss, any situation that needs a woman to make it more enjoyable was hopeless to begin with (Which is why Maxim will always suck), and FIREFLY OWNS MAXIM MAGAZINE.

"Deep in the battlefield covered in blood
Lies an Airborne Ranger dying in the mud
He fought for his country and he died like a man
Though some people back home just wouldn't understand"

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Saturday, February 4, 2006 1:52 PM

ASARIAN


Maxim, Wuo DWAY-nee BOO-woon, boo-JEN!



"Mei-mei, everything I have is right here." -- Simon Tam.

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Saturday, February 4, 2006 2:44 PM

JOLLY


Quote:


Writer/director Joss Whedon took a flop movie, Buffy The Vampire Slayer, and turned it into a hit TV series. Now with Serenity, he hopes to take his flop 2002 TV show, Firefly, and turn it into a hit movie. You gotta admit, the guy has balls. Serenity picks up where the show left off, which is great for the seven people who watched it. In the movie, the captain of the Serenity ends up on the losing side of a galactic war with only his trusty crew to depend on. But just when teamwork seems ready to prevail, two people from the evil alliance come aboard and tell him a secret that puts everyone in danger…or something like that. The plot is slightly incomprehensible and the cast…well, let's just say members of the Nathan Fillion and Gina Torres fan clubs will be psyched. As with the original TV show, the no-namers help make this sci-fi/Indiana Jones—style hybrid into a fairly entertaining romp. But if people wouldn't watch this for free, what makes Whedon think they're gonna pay 10 bucks?



Ummm...Simon was working at an Alliance hospital, while River was attending an Alliance-run academy, so the claim that they are from the Alliance is not strictly untrue. I don't see how a review that describes the movie as "a fairly entertaining romp" can be described as scathing. It may be a little flippant, but ain't that just the style over there? Hardly seems to be worth raisin' a fuss...

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Saturday, February 4, 2006 4:40 PM

ASARIAN


Quote:


Writer/director Joss Whedon took a flop movie, Buffy The Vampire Slayer, and turned it into a hit TV series. Now with Serenity, he hopes to take his flop 2002 TV show, Firefly, and turn it into a hit movie. You gotta admit, the guy has balls. Serenity picks up where the show left off, which is great for the seven people who watched it. In the movie, the captain of the Serenity ends up on the losing side of a galactic war with only his trusty crew to depend on. But just when teamwork seems ready to prevail, two people from the evil alliance come aboard and tell him a secret that puts everyone in danger…or something like that. The plot is slightly incomprehensible and the cast…well, let's just say members of the Nathan Fillion and Gina Torres fan clubs will be psyched. As with the original TV show, the no-namers help make this sci-fi/Indiana Jones—style hybrid into a fairly entertaining romp. But if people wouldn't watch this for free, what makes Whedon think they're gonna pay 10 bucks?



Hey! He left the Summer Glau fan club out!! He was already starting to damage my calm, but this is downright insulting! Ta ma duh!

I assume you've scanned the status logs? River Tam was our greatest success! A prodigy. A phenomenon. Until you walked in here, and took her from us! River Tam, the greatest, single-most awe-inspiring character ever devised in the history of film writing, and you manage to overlook her?? You know, in certain older civilized cultures, when men failed as entirely as you have, they would throw themselves on their swords!

"The plot is slightly incomprehensible..."

Yeah, it would be, what with your brain missing and all! And what do you mean, the Gina Torres fan club will be psyched? Now, if you had any wit in that pinky of yours at all, you'd had said something like:

The River Tam fanclub will be 'psyched'

And that would have been funny! :) I know, that's not much; but it's enough.

Right now, I'm going to have to go with wrath!


"Mei-mei, everything I have is right here." -- Simon Tam.

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Saturday, February 4, 2006 5:02 PM

SMOOF


Why even read Maxim?
It reads like it's written by thirteen year olds, just like every other mens magazine (check out "Stuff" sometime. That is, if you can stomich people seeing you actually handling one in public.)

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Saturday, February 4, 2006 5:15 PM

GRIMJACK21502


I kind of feel sorry for the guys at Maxim.

One year they are the "hip new twenty-something writers"...now they're realizing that their readership is down nearly 35% because people are realizing that they are aging know-it-all smart@sses who lack the basic social skills to be the Tilt-a-Whirl operator at a traveling fair.


We will hold...we hold till Mal gets back.

"And once you're gone, you can never come back
When you're out of the blue and into the black"
-Neil Young

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Saturday, February 4, 2006 5:57 PM

MURKYMERC


Dang, 26 responses. I am going to arrested for inciting a riot. I guess I realize that the the reviewer has the right to their opinion, but I really feel that the show and movie has the best character development since Star Wars. I also feel that it was a show that was screwed from the beginning because a few idiotic network execs never believed in it. My little subscription won't mean much, but I'll be damned if it pays once sent so people can right things like the following.

Quote:


We’ve seen the future, and it ain’t pretty. You can imagine our excitement when we heard that Serenity (the spaceship the show follows around the galaxy) included a space-age prostitute on board among its ragtag crew of outlaws and degenerates. Then we got to watching this Spaceballs-meets-Young Guns mess, and a bunch of lame, Old West–style holdups dominated (a botched train robbery? C’mon, guys). The more we watched Serenity get itself into and out of trouble in the post–galactic civil war space world of the year 2500 (don’t ask), we couldn’t help but dream of John Candy dressing up as a dog alongside Bill Pullman for some real laughs.




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Saturday, February 4, 2006 6:03 PM

CHRISTHECYNIC


Quote:

Originally posted by Smoof:
Why even read Maxim?
It reads like it's written by thirteen year olds


Hey! Again. I know someone who writes for Maxim and she isn't the way you all imply the writers are. Now the readers ... that's another story.

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Saturday, February 4, 2006 6:05 PM

CHRISTHECYNIC


Quote:

Originally posted by Murkymerc:
Dang, 26 responses. I am going to arrested for inciting a riot. I guess I realize that the the reviewer has the right to their opinion, but I really feel that the show and movie has the best character development since Star Wars. I also feel that it was a show that was screwed from the beginning because a few idiotic network execs never believed in it. My little subscription won't mean much, but I'll be damned if it pays once sent so people can right things like the following.

Quote:


We’ve seen the future, and it ain’t pretty. You can imagine our excitement when we heard that Serenity (the spaceship the show follows around the galaxy) included a space-age prostitute on board among its ragtag crew of outlaws and degenerates. Then we got to watching this Spaceballs-meets-Young Guns mess, and a bunch of lame, Old West–style holdups dominated (a botched train robbery? C’mon, guys). The more we watched Serenity get itself into and out of trouble in the post–galactic civil war space world of the year 2500 (don’t ask), we couldn’t help but dream of John Candy dressing up as a dog alongside Bill Pullman for some real laughs.





I vote that we set the movie/tv reviewers on fire, but only the movie/tv reviewers.

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Saturday, February 4, 2006 6:52 PM

ASARIAN


Quote:

Originally posted by Smoof:

Why even read Maxim?



I'm Dutch; so, up until now, I didn't even know Maxim existed. And, after now, I don't care to know. :)

The short of it is: I'm not reading it; I'm just worried somebody else might.


"Mei-mei, everything I have is right here." -- Simon Tam.

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Saturday, February 4, 2006 7:06 PM

AURAPTOR

America loves a winner!


Such things as quality SciFi sans terrifying aliens or jaw dropping, laser blasting special effects are well beyond the likes of the folk over at Maxim.

" They don't like it when you shoot at 'em. I worked that out myself. "

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Saturday, February 4, 2006 8:43 PM

KHYRON


Why does anyone here even care? Most readers of Maxim wouldn't "get" Firefly anyway, in fact they'd be disappointed by the lack of swearing, big explosions and sex scenes in it. So why even bother with them?

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