GENERAL DISCUSSIONS

Male and Female Imponderables--Now We Go In Content

POSTED BY: TRISTAN
UPDATED: Friday, July 14, 2006 02:56
SHORT URL:
VIEWED: 13825
PAGE 2 of 4

Thursday, July 13, 2006 4:41 AM

MAL4PREZ


Quote:

Originally posted by Penguin:
Quote:

Originally posted by Tristan:
Mal4Prez...hey, now!


I second that! lol



I think of it like the drummer jokes or blond jokes - making fun of the stereotype.

OK, I can see it might offend. I took the jokes off but left the connection. Because I still think they're funny.




-----------------------------------------------
I'm the president. I don't need to listen.

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Thursday, July 13, 2006 4:44 AM

TRISTAN


MSG, thank you...that joke was funny! Not, of course, that I would dare repeat it in mixed company!

A woman physically stronger than I? Could be fun. Hasn't happened yet, but it has come close. The wife is stronger than she looks, and can sometimes take me down when I am not expecting it. Much fun!

Mal4Prez, no need to have taken the jokes off. I was having fun with you!

______________________________________

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Thursday, July 13, 2006 4:47 AM

13


Shiny happy people holding hands....

Little bit a' R.E.M for ya.

*scoot*

-------------------------------------------------

'It's Braedan. With an A.'

'Shiny moments aren't a destination any of us get to, and stay put forever. They're unknowable, brief flashes in time. That's what makes them shiny.' -GorramReevers

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Thursday, July 13, 2006 4:52 AM

MSG


morning 13 sweety:) Nice R.E.M. and a good and "shiny" tie in as well:)

Tristan- hmm well I do tell it in mixed company so maybe that's my problem joke wise:)

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Thursday, July 13, 2006 4:55 AM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.


How could you think I was talking about people using emotes? Gawd, if you could see my whole emote folder on photobucket... *checks folder* I have 177 emotes now.
I wouldn't mind being as strong or stronger than a guy. Might make me feel more secure (at the begining anyway, wouldn't be a deal later on)
I'm so glad you're feeling better, Copilot! I was worried about you!
I need to find another job, too. Right there with ya.

*edit* I can't imagine that 35 would be ideal for a 26 year old, but maybe I'm wrong.

**********************************

**********************************

NOTIFY: N   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Thursday, July 13, 2006 4:59 AM

KENOBIUS


Quote:

Originally posted by msg:

ooh I have an imponderable... guys would you be comfortable with a woman who was stronger than you..I mean significantly physically stronger...and women would you be ok if you were the buff/strong one in the relationship ( and I do realize with our big buff guys on this thread that we are sort of entering the imagination area, but just pretend)



Wouldn't bother me so much as long as I'm still needed. I wasn't blessed with an overabundance of gifts, and sometimes hulking things from one side of the room to the next is all I can do. I just don't want to go obsolete on her.

Hey, worked for Wash, why not me? I'll never let her walk over me though, cause I always have an idea or opinion about something.

EDIT: Sorry PR, but I wasn't thinking too clearly, that happens alot. 177, not too shabby!


http://tinyurl.com/ekv6z

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Thursday, July 13, 2006 5:04 AM

DAYVE


Quote:

Originally posted by mal4prez:
I think of it like the drummer jokes or blond jokes - making fun of the stereotype.



so the gloves have come off, eh?
http://www.zelo.com/blonde/index.asp


i know, i know....but it is fun....

endeavor to persevere...

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Thursday, July 13, 2006 5:04 AM

13


Don't use emotes that much myself, on account of techno-cripple-ness. Like to keep my posts ambiguous, too.

I'd almost prefer being the weak one of the two. Make me feel more protected and dependent.

-------------------------------------------------

'It's Braedan. With an A.'

'Shiny moments aren't a destination any of us get to, and stay put forever. They're unknowable, brief flashes in time. That's what makes them shiny.' -GorramReevers

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Thursday, July 13, 2006 5:04 AM

RUGBUG


Another morning...I really don't like mornings. And I really, really don't like cheery people in the morning (cheery virtual people are okay...cheery co-workers suck).

Quote:

Originally posted by mal4prez:

Anyway - you people that hate being single - I think the biggest reason I'll always be on my own is that I don't mind it so much. That sucks in a weird way. (Did that make sense?)




Count me in on that. For the most part I LIKE being single. I go where I want, do what I want. I spend my money and my time how I want to. I completely embrace the positives of single life. As I get older, I keep thinking it's going to be harder and harder for me to get married. Which is odd, because this isn't the life I thought I would have when I was 35 years old. It's a good life...just nothing like I expected.


NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Thursday, July 13, 2006 5:09 AM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.


Quote:

Originally posted by Dayve:
Quote:


Q: Why do blondes wear ponytails?
A: To hide the valve stem!


I have heard a very bad version of this. Actually it involved pigtails.
There are dumb blonde jokes and horny/slutty blonde jokes. Let's just leave it at that.

**********************************

**********************************

NOTIFY: N   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Thursday, July 13, 2006 5:11 AM

DAYVE


Quote:

Originally posted by mal4prez:
OK, I can see it might offend. I took the jokes off but left the connection. Because I still think they're funny.



M4P, i'm certainly not offended by funny jokes - there are some funnies there - and, unfortunatly, some that ring true....

i'll pull the plug on the blonde jokes, too... Peace

endeavor to persevere...

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Thursday, July 13, 2006 5:12 AM

COPILOT


The only thing I like about being single is not having to answer to anyone about being permiscuious. Although it's not much fun anymore.

Last year I had an afair with someone who was 41 while I was 21 how odd is that? Although now that I'm thinking back on it I think the fact that I was 21 was a lot more important than anything else about me. So of course I fell in love really badly. Then he moved away leaving me to sit and cry alone. Wasn't exactly something I could ask for SO's help with. Just more stuff to get off my chest

An I carried such a torch

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Thursday, July 13, 2006 5:14 AM

MSG


ok blond joke

A man hires a decorator to come and re-do his whole house. The decorator arrives and is shown the first room. The decorator explains the colors and furniture he'd like in the room. The man agrees and then leans out of the window and yells "green side up" The decorator is startled, but keeps going in each room the decorator explains what he wants to do with the room and the man agrees and then leans out of the window and yells " green side up" At the end, the decorator says "I have to know why you keep yelling green side up out of the window" and the man replies " oh I have a couple of blonds laying turf out front"


you know there is just nothing more soothing than watching a cute and much beloved cat sunning himself at the window( my cutest baby which I will post when I can find a way to do put them up)

EDIT- Copilot love unload away it helps:)
and as for the single thing I do love my husband, but there are times when I wish I could just do what I wanted without considering how it affected someone else:)
I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Thursday, July 13, 2006 5:16 AM

MAL4PREZ


Quote:

Originally posted by Dayve:
Q: Why do blondes wear ponytails?
A: To hide the valve stem!



Honestly, I don't really get this... something involving airhead, but... OK, don't explain, it'll only make it worse! But I like the other ones.

Here's a good one I can't do over the internet, you'll have to try it at home - put both hands on your head, squeeze and exhale like you're pumping the air out. It does me a lot of good sometimes!

Thanks Tristan - but it also occurred to me that we have younger viewers, and some of those jokes are a little, well...

-----------------------------------------------
I'm the president. I don't need to listen.

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Thursday, July 13, 2006 5:34 AM

GED


Wow I missed a lot in the 12 hours I didn't check.

Anyway, here's a new imponderable - forgive me if it's been done before. Women, would you make (or have you made) the first move on a date and what prompted you do so?

__________________________________________________
This above all, — to thine ownself be true.
http://www.myspace.com/artv

NOTIFY: N   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Thursday, July 13, 2006 5:35 AM

RUGBUG


Quote:

Originally posted by msg:

Why do they call PMS ( premenstrual syndrome) PMS?
Because mad cow disease was already taken:)




This is one of my favorite jokes. First time I heard it (actually read) I about busted a gut.

Strength: Question for the guys...when you make some comment along the lines of "well, you could kick my ass" (kind of like Wash's "she could kill my with her pinky") is it suppose to be a compliment or is it an insecurity coming out?

I often get those types of comments. Yes, I am strong. I can pick up heavy stuff and I won't wait around for some guy to do it for me. (Ex. I just bought new table and chairs. They were delivered Friday while I was at work, so the boxes were left around the back of the house. I didn't wait around, I figured out how to lift these heavy boxes with my one good arm and get them inside. I then proceeded to assemble said table and chairs and remove old table and chairs with no help whatsoever. None of this was easy, especially with my arm situation, but it wasn't impossible either). I still really hate it when guys say I am stronger then they are. Unless you are an adolescent boy who weighs 125 pounds (if you are, that's not a slam...you're just fine)...I am more than likely NOT stronger. The comments feel like such a slam. Like I'm not weak enough to make you all feel good about yourselves. So what gives...my issue, or their's?

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Thursday, July 13, 2006 5:39 AM

DESKTOPHIPPIE


Have I made the first mood on a date? Yep

What prompted me to do so? Nothing in particular. It just seemed right at the time. I hate to be vague, but it wasn't anything the guy said or did. Well okay, once it was something one was saying that I thought was really adoreable and I just had to kiss him there and then or I was going to explode, but if another guy said the same thing now it probably wouldn't provoke the same response. It just sort of happened at the time.

I suck at explaining.



Desktop Hippie


NOTIFY: N   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Thursday, July 13, 2006 5:39 AM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.


Quote:

Originally posted by Ged:
Anyway, here's a new imponderable - forgive me if it's been done before. Women, would you make (or have you made) the first move on a date and what prompted you do so?


Yes I would and yes I have. I'm usually subtle about it, though; the way I would want to be moved on. I'll just ease myself closer and wait for reciprocation. Don't want to make anyone uncomfortable or rush things. What prompted it? Couldn't say. Good ol' fashioned attraction I suppose.

**********************************

**********************************

NOTIFY: N   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Thursday, July 13, 2006 5:39 AM

DESKTOPHIPPIE


Double post - Grrr! Arrgh!



Desktop Hippie


NOTIFY: N   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Thursday, July 13, 2006 5:42 AM

KENOBIUS


Quote:

Originally posted by RugBug:
Strength: Question for the guys...when you make some comment along the lines of "well, you could kick my ass" (kind of like Wash's "she could kill my with her pinky") is it suppose to be a compliment or is it an insecurity coming out?

I often get those types of comments. Yes, I am strong. I can pick up heavy stuff and I won't wait around for some guy to do it for me. (Ex. I just bought new table and chairs. They were delivered Friday while I was at work, so the boxes were left around the back of the house. I didn't wait around, I figured out how to lift these heavy boxes with my one good arm and get them inside. I then proceeded to assemble said table and chairs and remove old table and chairs with no help whatsoever. None of this was easy, especially with my arm situation, but it wasn't impossible either). I still really hate it when guys say I am stronger then they are. Unless you are an adolescent boy who weighs 125 pounds (if you are, that's not a slam...you're just fine)...I am more than likely NOT stronger. The comments feel like such a slam. Like I'm not weak enough to make you all feel good about yourselves. So what gives...my issue, or their's?



For me, it would be a compliment and I guess a little bit of insecurity. I'm not a big guy, never have been, (Wait for jokes) so I know there are a billion people out there more capable than I am. Females not-with-standing. But at the same time, I don't think I would let anyone muscle me around, SO or not. So a comment along the lines of "I'll do this cause you could kick my ass if I don't" is slight truth with more of a playful implication than anything.




http://tinyurl.com/ekv6z

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Thursday, July 13, 2006 5:43 AM

EMMARIGBY


Quote:

Originally posted by mal4prez:
I know, I don't believe a bit of it is true, but it's still wicked funny.

-----------------------------------------------



And I second that!

___________________
Hissssssssss!

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Thursday, July 13, 2006 5:45 AM

DAYVE


Quote:

Originally posted by RugBug:
Question for the guys...when you make some comment along the lines of "well, you could kick my ass" (kind of like Wash's "she could kill my with her pinky") is it suppose to be a compliment or is it an insecurity coming out?.......So what gives...my issue, or their's?



this reminds me of a neighbor growing up - she was a couple years older than me and taller - sort of a tomboy - we wrestled a lot -and we were fairly equal strength wise - so i guess in the back of my mind, if i ever said something like that to a woman now, it would just be hopes of making physical contact.....

to answer the question - i would mean it as a compliment (i admire physically fit women - ok...i admire all women... i'd better shut up..)

endeavor to persevere...

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Thursday, July 13, 2006 6:00 AM

EMMARIGBY


To be honest I think a lot of women are a lot stronger than they give themselves credit for. It really bugs me when they don't bother to try to do any heavy lifting because it's easier to let the men do it. To be fair many women I know have been socially conditioned to actually believe they are weak. I have to really wind them up before they'll arm wrestle (and quite often then they'll beat or tie with my male friends!). There are few things guaranteed to make me steam as much as presenting me with a fairly easy task and then saying "Oh leave that for the men"! Unless, you know, I'm feeling really lazy or something!

___________________
Hissssssssss!

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Thursday, July 13, 2006 6:00 AM

MAL4PREZ


Quote:

Originally posted by msg:
Why do they call PMS ( premenstrual syndrome) PMS?
Because mad cow disease was already taken:)



Good one!

Quote:

Originally posted by RugBug:
Strength: Question for the guys...when you make some comment along the lines of "well, you could kick my ass" (kind of like Wash's "she could kill my with her pinky") is it suppose to be a compliment or is it an insecurity coming out?


Good question! I'm not physically strong, but scary in my own way...

I once had a friend tell a friend that he'd never date me cause I'm too smart. Granted, this was the kind of guy that got up at 8am to start drinking 40s of cheap beer to get ready the 1 pm football game...

gad, I have a superiority complex, don't I?

I have always been too reserved (chicken) to make the first move, but with my recently improved attitude I am just dying for the chance to do so. Gotta find a guy that gives me the urge...

-----------------------------------------------
I'm the president. I don't need to listen.

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Thursday, July 13, 2006 6:21 AM

NVGHOSTRIDER


EMMA- My ex was very strong. 130lbs, 5'10" of loving aggressive bitch. Kinda sad. I do miss the wrestling matches.

Ice Cream: I was trying to come up with FF/BDM themed flavors at the end of yesterday. My favorite is still the Mal-adjusted Rocky Road.

M4P- Thats a superiority complex. I thought everyone else just lacked the brains to be worthy. Seems I have some issues too.

"Built for comfort
not built for speed."

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Thursday, July 13, 2006 6:26 AM

MAL4PREZ


All right - returning to an old imponderable - I am writing a Dear John email to a guy I went on a date with last weekend. He was fun, but there was no spark at all. And I absolutely can't mail him the suggested you are load of fun but I don't want to have sex with you line. That may be the truth, but I can't say that!!

I'm been putting it off all week, but I need to mail him. This is what I have so far:

----
Hi Scott!

Sorry for the extreme slowness to get back to you. I forgot that this week was the beginning of a dance workshop - I've had class and rehearsal every night after work. It's lots of time and energy!

I also really had fun last weekend! With time to think on it though... I'm feeling that this is a friendly thing more than romantic.
----

And then I ran out of ideas... it's the usual thing to say let's go to a movie as friends, but I think nothing would be more uncomfortable.

Help!


-----------------------------------------------
I'm the president. I don't need to listen.

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Thursday, July 13, 2006 6:26 AM

TRISTAN


PR, I'm 35 and my wife is 25...and it's ideal for us. Age was never really an issue for me; within reason, of course.

Morning, RugBug! The "you could kick my ass" isn't really an insecurity issue, at least on my part. I am with a warrior woman, and if she really put her mind to it, she could kick my ass. I love strong women that are not afraid to show that they are strong.

I understand the benefits of being single as far as "doing what you want", but the wife and I sort of have that arrangement, too. We don't really have to answer to each other, as long as what we are doing does not embarass or hurt the other. Does that make sense?



______________________________________

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Thursday, July 13, 2006 6:42 AM

DAYVE


Quote:

Originally posted by mal4prez:
All right - returning to an old imponderable - I am writing a Dear John email to a guy ..........Help!



you may want the advise of the ladies on board, but coming from a man.... i don't want to hear excuses - if you like me, good, if not, tell me and be done with it.... just don't drag it out. Now, if the guy persists and you're sure you don't want him....be as blunt as possible - it's for his own good.

that may sound harsh, but it's what i would want -

endeavor to persevere...

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Thursday, July 13, 2006 6:44 AM

KENOBIUS


He's right, don't leave us hanging, that'll just give us time to build up hope. And that fall is a lot harder.


http://tinyurl.com/ekv6z

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Thursday, July 13, 2006 6:45 AM

MSG


hmmm interesting:) as for being stronger I can bench 120 and I just wondered if it was a bit off putting to guys.
NV- firefly ice cream flavors: hands of blue raspberry or mudder's milk and cream or rivers gummy bug surprise or Jayne's hunk o chocolate...I could go on and on:)

Making the first move...yup done that more than a few:) you should try it, it's fun!!

EDIT- dear john...well I really enjoyed your company and the time we spent. I'd love to hang out again some time. I'm glad we can be friends. I know we were both hoping for a spark, but sometimes it just doesn't happen. I hope you are interested in a friendship. Thanks so much for everything and good luck finding a spark with someone special:)
I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Thursday, July 13, 2006 6:50 AM

MAL4PREZ


Quote:

Originally posted by Dayve:
you may want the advise of the ladies on board, but coming from a man.... i don't want to hear excuses - if you like me, good, if not, tell me and be done with it.... just don't drag it out. Now, if the guy persists and you're sure you don't want him....be as blunt as possible - it's for his own good.

that may sound harsh, but it's what i would want -



Do you mean nix the first paragraph?

I don't think he'll persist, I just want to be final without being mean.

EDIT: MSG, you're a goddess!

-----------------------------------------------
I'm the president. I don't need to listen.

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Thursday, July 13, 2006 6:51 AM

CALIFORNIAKAYLEE


Aw, Dayve, I hung out with drummers a lot in high school and never heard any of those jokes, lol. I was on the Color Guard, and we marched with the marching band in the fall, and then in the spring had a separate inside competition circuit that was just for the Color Guard, but there was almost always a Percussion competition scheduled along side it. So us girls of the Color Guard hung out with the guys of Percussion quite a bit, and I think nearly all of us dated one of them at some point. Mine was a snare drummer, and while he was an ass in many ways, he definitely wasn't stupid. And the constant drumming on everything was forgiven when he'd drum on my sore shoulder muscles. Actually a surprisingly good massage.

Now that I think about it though, that guy was a major hun dan. Anyone else look back at old relationships and go "What was I thinking?!"?

I don't think I'd like to be the physically strong one in a relationship, at least not unless I was significantly stronger than I am now. Physically, I'm pretty weak and fragile (what with the illness and all), so if a guy was weaker than I, he'd have to be pretty darn weak, heh.

OTOH, every now and then I get a spurt of energy, and I "channel my mother" as the hubby puts it. I swear my mom was a Pioneer woman in a previous life. When she was five months pregnant with one of my sisters, she chopped down a tree. Dad was working long hours to support us, and the tree was dead so it needed to go. I think she got about half way through with an axe before our neighbor came by with a chainsaw, lol. So every now and then I'll get a spurt of energy and do something Mom would do. Last time it was when hubby and I moved into the place we just bought, and I dismantled the entire built-in desk hubby had ripped out the day before. He couldn't believe his eyes when he got home, hehe. That said, hubby is definitely stronger than I am, and I like it that way.

As far as making the first move, I did it a few times in high school and college, usually not with great results. But a few years ago, one of my siblings was asking the hubby and I about how we got together, and hubby was telling the story, and told it as I kissed him. Which is totally untrue -- he kissed me! Our first kiss, he swears he was just standing there and I went up on my toes and kissed him, whereas I swear *I* was just standing there and *he* leaned down and kissed me.

If we're lucky, we'll still be arguing about this when we're sixty.

Well, I'll be sixty and he'll be sixty-eight, and I won't let him forget it for a moment.

~CK

You can't take the sky from me...

NOTIFY: N   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Thursday, July 13, 2006 6:55 AM

MSG


Mal4Prez- well you saw my sample idea in the edit. I like to let the guy down by making it sound like we both weren't interested or some such so it doesn't come off as though you assume he has feelings. If he did have feelings, it's face saving for him and if he didn't, it doesn't make you sound like you're conceited:)

CK- isn't it fun to have one of those we can argue this till the end of time things ( as long as it's fun and silly) My husband and I have a long running argument about how he proposed:)

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Thursday, July 13, 2006 6:56 AM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.


Quote:

Originally posted by CaliforniaKaylee:
Anyone else look back at old relationships and go "What was I thinking?!"?


Seems like I do that every time. But then, my breakups have all been bad. Maybe that clouds my perspective. Also, it's easier to get over the pain by basically saying "Well, that was obviously not the place I should have been." If a focus on the bad, I don't cry over the good things I miss having.
Sorry, that was really angsty.

**********************************

**********************************

NOTIFY: N   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Thursday, July 13, 2006 6:56 AM

RUGBUG


Quote:

Originally posted by Tristan:


I understand the benefits of being single as far as "doing what you want", but the wife and I sort of have that arrangement, too. We don't really have to answer to each other, as long as what we are doing does not embarass or hurt the other. Does that make sense?




Makes complete sense and sounds like something I could live with.

But what I see in a lot of marriages is an expectation that the spouse is around during down time. Yes, you want to spend time with spouse, but what if they have things that they enjoy that take a lot of time? Yes, this goes back to the horses and I think I've said it before. Doing what I do takes a lot of time. It's not just "oh, i feel like riding today." It's a 4-6 day a week committment of 2-3 hours at a minimum. That's a lot of time taken up with my passion while SO sits at home with nothing to do. And that becomes a source of contention.


NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Thursday, July 13, 2006 6:56 AM

MAL4PREZ


Quote:

Originally posted by CaliforniaKaylee:
Aw, Dayve, I hung out with drummers a lot in high school and never heard any of those jokes, lol. I was on the Color Guard...



Too funny - my boy was a snare drummer and I was color guard! And, yes, I was 21. Summer marching activites. I was a HUGE band geek (drum corps, in case anyone's heard of it.)

-----------------------------------------------
I'm the president. I don't need to listen.

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Thursday, July 13, 2006 7:01 AM

CALIFORNIAKAYLEE


Ooooh, M4P, who'd you march with?! I was injured my senior year of high school (we got a coach in who had just finished coaching Santa Clara Vanguard during the DCI finals, so he over-estimated the strength of us poor little girls) so I never did get to do drum corps. Most of our coaches were ex or current SCV, and a lot of my friends went on to march with either SCV or Blue Devils after high school. And they always brought back the coolest pictures and stories. Man I would have loved to have done that.

~CK

You can't take the sky from me...

NOTIFY: N   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Thursday, July 13, 2006 7:05 AM

DAYVE


M4P... yes, like a band-aid....pull it right off.... even better, that is unless you're holding out hope for friendship, is to call the guy and tell him straight up, it's a no-go. And on the friendship thing - i wouldn't get my hopes up... again, a man's POV... we don't want to be friends with someone we're interested in romanticly.... that's a pain we can do without.

CALIFORNIAKAYLEE.... drummers aren't so bad (or stupid) we just like to make noise.... i was never in band in school...i was asked, but i didn't like the marching deal.... i did try a jazz lab band in college that was fun - but mainly i was the long-hair time keeper for various rock bands - actually naming a band is almost as hard as playing in one.... we had some doozies....



endeavor to persevere...

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Thursday, July 13, 2006 7:06 AM

CALIFORNIAKAYLEE


Quote:

It's a 4-6 day a week committment of 2-3 hours at a minimum. That's a lot of time taken up with my passion while SO sits at home with nothing to do.


Honestly Rugbug, I think it's an issue of finding someone else who shares that passion. I know that the hours hubby has to work and the amount of time he spends playing video games would bug a lot of other women, but since I work a lot of the same hours (though not always at the same times, depending on what we're each crunching for), and play a lot of games myself, it doesn't bother me at all. So maybe someone who shares your love of horses would be a good fit for you?

~CK

You can't take the sky from me...

NOTIFY: N   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Thursday, July 13, 2006 7:07 AM

WHITEFALL


On the subject of strong women... well, myself I have virtually no upper body strength. Leg strength, decent, upper body, nada. And many of the ladies I know are dancers and a few are athletes, so often times they are just plain old stronger than me. Does this bother me? Only if it bothers them.

Theres a girl in my year who does Color Guard, got plenty upper arm strength from there, and hey, more power to her. Personally I've yet to find a use for exercise I don't have, or don't want to have time for, so I don't.

So, imo, if the woman is the stronger of the two, it's only an issue if the woman has a problem with the man not conforming to a certain male stereotype. (Or being all healthy, not necessarily the same thing.)

"But, these strong women characters?"

"Why aren't you asking 100 other guys why they don't write strong women characters?" -Joss Whedon

NOTIFY: N   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Thursday, July 13, 2006 7:07 AM

MAL4PREZ


I was in a small drum corps in the midwest for three years, played soprano (trumpet) for two years and then switched to colorguard. Those were the days, it was SO much fun.

But I wanted to try the BIG guys, so I did SCV '92 and I hated it! Those girls were a bunch of self-important drama queens. I like to think it was just that year, and the organization as a whole is better than that, but '92 was no fun for me.

Then I did Cadets '93 and it was incredible. I've never worked harder in my life! I have nothing but admiration for those people, and the amount of work it takes to be that good. I'm amazed I got through it at all!

I really loved colorguard. I miss it sometimes!

-----------------------------------------------
I'm the president. I don't need to listen.

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Thursday, July 13, 2006 7:07 AM

NVGHOSTRIDER


I never did get that. There is always something to do. But it feels so great to have nothing to do from time to time. I mentioned to my best friend that the reason she is with her husband so long is because he is always on duty or deployed with one of the teams. She finally admitted earlier this year that she loves the time she gets with the kids, but she also loves missing him then welcoming him home. It makes sense for partners to have their own things. Anyone who could understand the fact I have family and work obligations is alright in my book. Seems this is a continuing source of anxiety for some of us on this board.

"On a Wednesday
I'm workin' diggin' ditches"

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Thursday, July 13, 2006 7:09 AM

MSG


yeah rugbug sometimes it can be a bit contentious when husband and I want something different for down time. My " wish for singleness" isn't really time related. It's more on the " it must be nice to be able to spend money how and when you want without having to ask" along with the" nice to redecorate with anything you want without asking another's opinion" with a smidgen of " being able to always eat what you feel like eating and watch the movie you wanted to watch" BUT all in all I like being married:) Just have occasional grass is always greener moments:)


EDIT- NV anyone who doesn't understand is a twirp and not worth the time...that said, yes it can cause trouble especially in a kid related field like our where sometimes kids need you at odd hours or for a lot of time and SO feels left out
I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Thursday, July 13, 2006 7:11 AM

MAL4PREZ


Quote:

Originally posted by Dayve:
M4P... yes, like a band-aid....pull it right off.... even better, that is unless you holding out hope for friendship, is to call the guy and tell him straight up, it's a no-go. And on the friendship thing - i wouldn't get my hopes up... again, a man's POV... we don't want to be friends with someone we're interested in romanticly.... that's a pain we can do without.



I sent the mail... and I'd so much rather not try a friendship, expecially since I met this guy online, so there was no friendship to start with. I just fell obligated to make the offer. How silly is that?

All right, kick down with the bad band names...

-----------------------------------------------
I'm the president. I don't need to listen.

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Thursday, July 13, 2006 7:14 AM

WHITEFALL


Hmmm... Firefly and the Serenity's?

Womack and Skunk?

Mal: Live In Concert?

Niska's Rep?

The Many Mustaches of Monty?

.........There's no pattern here. Suuure.

"But, these strong women characters?"

"Why aren't you asking 100 other guys why they don't write strong women characters?" -Joss Whedon

NOTIFY: N   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Thursday, July 13, 2006 7:17 AM

GED


Quote:

Originally posted by CaliforniaKaylee:
Anyone else look back at old relationships and go "What was I thinking?!"?



Uhh yes, my last relationship. I let my feelings cloud my logical thought. I'll try not to do that again.

__________________________________________________
This above all, — to thine ownself be true.
http://www.myspace.com/artv

NOTIFY: N   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Thursday, July 13, 2006 7:22 AM

RUGBUG


Quote:

Originally posted by CaliforniaKaylee:

Honestly Rugbug, I think it's an issue of finding someone else who shares that passion.




There's a funny "toast" for horsewomen that goes something like this:

"If you're dating a guy who rides horses, Raise your cup. If not, Raise your standards."

(FYI,Cups are what holds the horizontal elements of jumps, standards, as well as being, you know, STANDARDS, are the vertical posts that jumps are set up on. that's one on the right of this picture: )

MSG: The money thing plays a huge role as well. Horses ain't cheap and showing just makes it worse. I stay away from the $2000 for three days types of shows, but I can still rack up a $700 bill in a weekend.

Dayve: Drummers are delicious. Ain't nothing wrong with a little rhythm.

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Thursday, July 13, 2006 7:25 AM

DAYVE


Quote:

Originally posted by mal4prez:
I just fell obligated to make the offer. How silly is that?



Not silly at all, you are very thoughtful & sweet - i hope the guy appreciates the time he had with you.

Quote:

All right, kick down with the bad band names...


really? ok, first was Kenny Thomas & The Out-of-Tunes..very young and silly

a band we called The Tractors, before there was a successful band by that same name

we tried Guy Lombardo - no one got that

Dark Meat, Loss-Leaders, Pogo, (one of my favs) Titty Bingo, & Regulators...

that's a few i remember.... one group started out really well, (actual talent), but we fought so much over a stupid name that we never played a gig....






endeavor to persevere...

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Thursday, July 13, 2006 7:25 AM

CALIFORNIAKAYLEE


If you were with SCV in '92, you might have actually known some of my coaches. My color guard coach was Sheri McGuinnis (Sheri McGuinnis-Aquilina when I knew her), and our band director was Dennis Aquilina, but I'm not sure if they were still there in '92.

1992 was Fiddler on the Roof, right? Man oh man, I LOVE that show! Possibly my all time favorite show. It's a close tie with Phantom from '89, anyway. I mean, the bottle dance right on the field? How can you beat that? I used to have an mp3 of the entire show, pretty bummed that I lost it.

Ok, I am now in total and complete awe of you, M4P. And I know what you mean about missing it, it's pretty much the only thing from high school that I still actually dream about, heh.

(Don't worry, I'm not loyal to SCV or anything, promise. The coaches may have been SCV, but most my friends went to Blue Devils, so it's all good. )

Ok, sorry everyone, my band geek moment is now over. It's just that the DCI finals are coming up next month, so it was on my mind anyhow.

~CK

You can't take the sky from me...

NOTIFY: N   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

Thursday, July 13, 2006 7:28 AM

KENOBIUS


Huh. Never knew that Rugbug, interesting. Also, riding is something I have never done, but would like to try it.

Here's a sidebar question - What role does money play into relationships these days? Are you ladies looking for quick retirement or is dating more of a necessity to pay the bills. And for guys, do you (like me) feel stuck cause you can't afford to date as much as you like to?

EDIT: Holy crap, I've seen that Fiddler performance! I was searching around Youtube and Google Vids looking for Fiddler stuff since our theater is currently rehearsing it. I adore Fiddler and seeing that on the field gave me chills, especially the bottle dance!


http://tinyurl.com/ekv6z

NOTIFY: Y   |  REPLY  |  REPLY WITH QUOTE  |  TOP  |  HOME  

YOUR OPTIONS

NEW POSTS TODAY

USERPOST DATE

FFF.NET SOCIAL