GENERAL DISCUSSIONS

Male and Female Imponderables--The course of true love never did run smooth

POSTED BY: TRISTAN
UPDATED: Saturday, July 22, 2006 15:24
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Thursday, July 20, 2006 7:49 PM

WHITEFALL


Lol are there really tsunamis in California? I'm scared now.

Anyways, CK, feel free to come with extra happiness, it tends to be useful in dealing with us downer folk.

Urgh, stayin' home all day, a bunch of things I should be doing, like homework, or college searches or the like, but gorramit, I cant get started. In the meantime, I got myself I really quite boring life... get up in the morning all eager, then by this time of night I just sorta lose interest, and this is sadly the time you folks tend not to be on. dang time zones.

"But, these strong women characters?"

"Why aren't you asking 100 other guys why they don't write strong women characters?" -Joss Whedon

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Thursday, July 20, 2006 7:52 PM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.


I'm here, Whitefall!

An' CK, I would never ignore happiness! Happiness is good!

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Thursday, July 20, 2006 8:45 PM

WHITEFALL




Hurrah!

But yeah, just felt like explaining my mood patterns, because over the past few days they seem to be pretty predictable, like I said above.

"But, these strong women characters?"

"Why aren't you asking 100 other guys why they don't write strong women characters?" -Joss Whedon

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Thursday, July 20, 2006 9:01 PM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.


I hear ya. I'm revving up to get motivated to get out of my boring dead-end job. I feel like all the wind was knocked out of my sails this year, and it's taking awhile to get them nice and poofy again.
Ah, but this too shall pass. We shall overcome!


...Not sure why I'm so optimistic, but hey I like it!

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Thursday, July 20, 2006 10:29 PM

13


I ain't the third wheel; usually I'm a shadow.


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Thursday, July 20, 2006 11:09 PM

SERYN


oh i'm not shy!

actually, of my group, i'm probably the least shy, or rather, the most willing to make a fool of her self. I've no trouble going to social gatherings, i've no trouble making new aquaintences, i'm very confident and sometimes a little overconfident (i could sometimes be accused of arrogance) I haven't got any particular 'self-esteem' issues, as those tv guru's like to accuse folks of - i think i'm great. I have a hell of a lot of things to offer, and i'm not afraid of putting myself out there any more (within reason - you'll still never ever get me on a stage, no way, nuh uh, no. and i'm not an exhibitionist or an attention seeker)(offline that is)

I mean my sister wanted to go to an old club she new and while the (death metal type) band were gearing up (the band member were entertaining, but the 'music' was awful, we left soon after)they were playing the beastie boys, and i like that song, so i danced to it, silly dancing, to make my sister smile, whilst surrounded by people who actually kinda liked the metal stuff. When the DJ (who i knew, and who was being a bit naughty by putting on tunes he new the crowd would hate) put on the Kaiser chiefs, and i danced and comedy mimed all the words, my sister apparently though i was going to get my head kicked in.

Is that the act of a shy person?

Nah, i'm not shy, but i still can't escape this needing to be specifically invited, and to not feel like i'm annoying people when i start talking to them. All of my jokes about the size of my ass have been replaced by jokes about butting in and invading. I have to know i'm welcome before i can relax, and i i do get the impression that i'm not wanted, then thats it, i leave, i don't hang around.

And i do go to the theatre and the movies on my own - really learned to appreciate it actually, and i eat on my own - wouldn't get the chance to eat out if i didn't, and i shop and watch tv and listen to music on my own.

the only thing that used to piss me off was that i could never talk about it afterwards - i'm slowly getting my family into all the tv and stuff i like - but still, i get to about two sentences, and i get the indulgent grins, the rolling eyes or the glazing over wish boredom. I've had 1 conversation IRL about firefly, and one about Wonderfalls, that was two sided, enthusiastic and grown up.

But thats were all you lovely people come in.

and i am so very glad your here.

Ice cream - Mal-nutrition, chocolate fudge brownie bits (as pretend protien chunks) little chocolate cow shapes, tiny marshmallows shaped like baozi (for what Yosaffbridge make him.

trying to think on someway to wedge in tomato a likes (still the only man i've ever seen gracefully eat a tomato with chopsticks)

Your robot reminds me of you. You tell it to turn it stops. You tell it to stop it turns. You ask it to take out the garbage it watches reruns of Firefly.
http://www.myspace.com/seryndippyt

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Thursday, July 20, 2006 11:14 PM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.


*is not a man, but can gracefully eat a tomato with chopsticks*

Well, I bet I could. If I can eat mango slices, I can eat anything.

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Thursday, July 20, 2006 11:29 PM

SERYN


part of me wants to ask 'why were you eating mango slices with chopsticks?' the other part of me doesn't want to know




Your robot reminds me of you. You tell it to turn it stops. You tell it to stop it turns. You ask it to take out the garbage it watches reruns of Firefly.
http://www.myspace.com/seryndippyt

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Thursday, July 20, 2006 11:33 PM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.


Was it because I just wanted to? Or was it because Firefly has infected my brain?!



I love mangos, they are de-lish.
I had mango slices, I had wooden chopsticks, and I had just re-re-re-rewatched the pilot episode.
What would you have done?

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Friday, July 21, 2006 12:26 AM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.


Surfing around in my boredom, I found this:
HIM/HER AT WORK
Family picture is on His desk - Ah, a solid, responsible family man.
Family picture is on Her desk - Um, her family will come before her career.

His desk is cluttered - He's obviously a hard worker and a busy man.
Her desk is cluttered - She's obviously a disorganized scatterbrain.

He is talking with his co-workers - He must be discussing the latest deal.
She is talking with her co-workers - She must be gossiping.

He's not in the office - He's meeting a customer.
She's not in the office - She must be out shopping.

He's having lunch with the boss - He's on his way up.
She's having lunch with the boss - They must be having an affair.

The boss criticized Him - He'll improve his performance.
The boss criticized Her - She'll be very upset.

He got an unfair deal - Did he get angry?
She got an unfair deal - Did she cry?

He's getting married - He'll get more settled.
She's getting married - She'll get pregnant and leave.

He's having a baby - He'll need a raise.
She's having a baby - She'll cost the company money in maternity benefits.

He's going on a business trip - It's good for his career.
She's going on a business trip - What does her husband say?

He's leaving for a better job - He knows how to recognize a good opportunity.
She's leaving for a better job - Women are not dependable.

It's kind of funny, but also scarily true. Even in an office of mainly women it seems true, especially the family/pregnancy things.

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Friday, July 21, 2006 12:36 AM

ODDSBODSKINS


there's a ways still to go


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Friday, July 21, 2006 12:43 AM

SERYN


or more importantly, apparently, 'what would Jayne do?'


its all right, at least you haven't tried eating one off the blade of a knife.




...have you?


Yup, those male/female comments, sad but true. there was some government guy got into trouble a while ago for saying that no small-businessman in his right mind would hire a woman of childbearing age. (He was the misinster fro equal rights or something as well) sick sad world.

Your robot reminds me of you. You tell it to turn it stops. You tell it to stop it turns. You ask it to take out the garbage it watches reruns of Firefly.
http://www.myspace.com/seryndippyt

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Friday, July 21, 2006 2:58 AM

TRISTAN


Morning, all!
Gues what? It's Friday!

Nine more hours until my weekend starts!

*ahem*
Sorry, got a little excited there.

I am always glad to see when people post on this thread. We may not know each other, but we are always here for each other. One big, happy, virtual family!

And I do often find myself asking "What would Jayne do?"

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Friday, July 21, 2006 3:14 AM

PENGUIN




It may be Friday, but it's too darned early for jumping!


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Friday, July 21, 2006 3:20 AM

TRISTAN


Ok...how about a nice, serene, dancing alone thing?


On this third wheel thing...anyone here every become a third wheel in the middle of a date?

Also, a better imponderable we may have covered...but I don't remember it: piercings. Do you find piercings attractive/sexy on the opposite sex?

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Friday, July 21, 2006 3:28 AM

FUTUREMRSFILLION




Its never to early for bouncing on a Friday!



one of the Forsaken TM

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Friday, July 21, 2006 3:30 AM

FUTUREMRSFILLION


Piercings

I have ears and navel. Did it for ME. I do not like facial piercings on anyone and tongue's - YUCK. I really can't see the attractiveness of piercing "special places" either.



one of the Forsaken TM

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Friday, July 21, 2006 3:32 AM

SPACEANJL


Ice-cream - honeycomb semifreddo with a hot rum butter sauce (recipe time!)

I've eaten an apple off a knife well before I saw Firefly - (archaeologists - we're odd.)

Gonna be off the boards for a few days - got friends visiting at the weekend, and need to convert them. 'Trash' ought to do it. For some reason, the aesthetic value of the episode speaks to people.

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Friday, July 21, 2006 3:38 AM

TRISTAN


FMF! I am glad to see you back. Missed you! :hug:

SpaceAnJL, have a good time, and convert many! We will see you when you return.

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Friday, July 21, 2006 3:38 AM

PENGUIN


Piercings...

Ears ok...the fewer the better.
Navels ok, I guess.
Lips...NO!!!
Nose...NO!!!
Cheek...NO!!!
Eyebrow...NO!!!
Chin...NO!!!
Tongue...NO!!!
Nipples...NO!!!! Why ruin one of god's best creations!
Lower region...NO!!! Please see above.


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Friday, July 21, 2006 3:52 AM

MIRCEA


Third wheel- Never became a third wheel mid date, have started out a date that way though.

piercings- Never been a fan. Don't care much for tatoo's either though. Probably connected some way.

Q: How much does one man's sorrow weigh?
A: As much as he allows it to weigh.

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Friday, July 21, 2006 3:56 AM

MSG


Morning all:) Still kind of groggy so bear with me...hmmm piercings? ok don't mind if guy has an earring or so, but any other piercings and eeeeeeeeeeeeeeew! I love your reasons for eating mango with chopsticks PR:)
Seryn I wish you lived her. One of my friends's brothers would just adore you. He's a great guy and a storyboard artist for Disney. He's really quirky and fun and 6'6" tall and he does that sort of thing where he does silly funny dancing and doesn't give a rats a what others think:) also he's single ( which I can't figure because he is one of the most sincere, fun, kind, great people I know)

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Friday, July 21, 2006 4:00 AM

TRISTAN


Morning, Mircea!
Morning, MSG!
Have you thought that maybe this friend's brother may be happy without the complication of a relationship?

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Friday, July 21, 2006 4:02 AM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.


No, seryn, I have never eaten a mango off a knife. That would be asking for trouble, as they are a slippery fruit. And as I'm not a huge fan of apples, I haven't tried that either. Might try with a pear.
Piercings... A few are ok. It depends on the person. But lip, tongue, nipple or nethers are all really big turn-offs for me. Nose can look okay, eyebrow can look okay, belly button can look ok but is coming to have a bit of a skanky conotation because so many skanks have them. Ears, of course. Gaging on ears is easily overdone, though, I prefer just the basic hole, which I think is 14, and nothing bigger than a 10. All others look strange or interfere with fun time.
I cannot be pierced. Tried, bad infection that wasn't really an infection but rather my body trying to eject the foreign body that was the earing. Not going to try again.

Here's something I was kind of pondering on my way home; when we discussed spiders, there was a little "bug killing is a man's job" commenting. But if that's the case (which I think it is) what is a woman's job? It seems like we don't really have any anymore because there's a lot of PC-ness in the world, and "women's work" is kind of derogatory now. But I was thinking that it just wouldn't be fair to expect a man to kill bugs but not have anything I did. So I thought about it. Cooking and cleaning; not something I want to do all the time. Back rubs; not a favor I want to give without recieving (though I have in the past gorrammit). Laundry? Another cleaning thing, don't want to do it all the time. Balancing a checkbook? I know my mom is in charge of the money in my particular family situation, but saying that should be a woman's job inplies that men are dumb, which they aren't. There are some people who can't keep track of money and it doesn't really matter what chromosomes they have. My mom happens to be good at it.
So I couldn't come up with anything. Can you?

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Friday, July 21, 2006 4:02 AM

MIRCEA


Quote:

Originally posted by msg:
he is one of the most sincere, fun, kind, great people I know)




So why are peolpe like this so often single? What horrible secrets do we hide?

Q: How much does one man's sorrow weigh?
A: As much as he allows it to weigh.

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Friday, July 21, 2006 4:06 AM

MSG


Tristan I would think that if he'd stop asking me to set him up on dates:) He's really fantastic, but since he lives in California and all his friends/family live here I think he has a hard time finding a date. Plus he's I think 37 and he works at Disney surrounded by male animators so he has little chance to meet women....and it's such a waste 'cause he'd be a great SO!

In my family anyone but me are the bug killers. The only "dad" job was car related and all emergencies/injuries as my mom faints or runs away from blood. Seriously, once cut my hand badly as a child and went in for mommy and she curled away and said" honey oh no don't come over by me, go find your dad" so we all know..get hurt?get dad!


I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Friday, July 21, 2006 4:08 AM

TRISTAN


Morning, PR!
As to the woman's job thing...the smart answer any man can make is "whatever you want to do, dear"
I do think, in the bug-killing thing, the woman's job is to be the spotter and the supervisor/moral support during the hunting and killing phase.

Ok, I'll quit kidding. Woman's job...
I really can't think of anything that is gender-specific when it comes to the types of "jobs" you are talking about...

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Friday, July 21, 2006 4:09 AM

MIRCEA


Morning Tristan. Slow day at work, no power yesterday. So, shhhhhhh, if anyone asks I'm not really here.

I don't know PR. I don't like climbing ladders, do you want that job?

Q: How much does one man's sorrow weigh?
A: As much as he allows it to weigh.

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Friday, July 21, 2006 4:13 AM

ODDSBODSKINS


although, kinda differant topic, (but related) there're still jobs which are, on some level, set aside as 'womens work', things like care work, nursing, cleaning, and so on and so forth, which are, in terms of the difficulty of the job, quite unpleasantly underpaid.

it's an odd thing, a woman can get wages equal to a mans (although based on some of the practices you hear of in businesses, it dubious) but only if she goes into what was traditionally 'mens work' if she sticks at what was traditionally 'womans work' (and for poor bastards like me doing the same jobs as men) then you're sure to be underpaid, and surer still that no-one will much give a monkeys.

it's an odd thing, and bizarely it seems to be more acceptable then paying women lower wages, when as prejudice's go it's really very similar...


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Friday, July 21, 2006 4:14 AM

SERYN


I tend to find with piercings, a little goes a very long long long long way.

theres one guy at work that has one of those little barrel ones, where they stretch out the hole a bit, it's a bout a centimeter complete, thad that really nice, in the other ear he has a ring at the top, and the whole thing i think is put together well, so peircings yey.

On the other hand, theres another guy in work who has spikes sprouting from under his lip, half a dozen bits in each lobe, and nose ring (through the middle, like a bull) and god know what else elsewhere. so piercings bleh.

I theory i don't mind tongues, brows, ears (lobes and upper rims, don't like front sticky out bits) nipps or wherever. (but not all at once!)
i can also take lips ( the rings or balls, not the spikes) I don't like noses and pierced genitals freak me out, though i can understand why some people like them. (if done properly it can apparently enhance sensation for both parties)(of course if you get an idiot to do it then you could be out of action for the rest of your life, your call)

AS with everything for me, i love unusual and i can take a little wierd and wacky, but it has to be done with an eye for harmony and style.

iu get the feeling though, that some folks would say that peircings/tattoo's are the antithesis of harmony and style, but i don't think thats true.

Your robot reminds me of you. You tell it to turn it stops. You tell it to stop it turns. You ask it to take out the garbage it watches reruns of Firefly.
http://www.myspace.com/seryndippyt

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Friday, July 21, 2006 4:21 AM

MSG


ok getting up in the morning appears to have been a dreadful idea...so sleepy:)

Anyway, the latests surveys showed that 75% of housework was done by women( this was a survey of married women)I wouldn't say there is anything specifically gender designated, but I can go to the fabric store and never see a guy. I think there are very few guys ( yes I know you are an exception Tristan and we love you for it) who sew or do needlework

EDIT- oh and they just showed that the percentage of stay at home dads just went up to 2% while stay at home moms is 32% and they also calculated to hire people to do all the things a stay at home does would cost $150,000

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Friday, July 21, 2006 4:26 AM

MIRCEA


Quote:

Originally posted by msg:
I think there are very few guys ( yes I know you are an exception Tristan and we love you for it) who sew or do needlework




I'm in fabric stores all the time.

Q: How much does one man's sorrow weigh?
A: As much as he allows it to weigh.

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Friday, July 21, 2006 4:27 AM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.


Quote:

Originally posted by Mircea:
I don't know PR. I don't like climbing ladders, do you want that job?


Oddly enough that does tend to be one of my jobs. I have no problem with heights and bisically never have. I got vertigo this one time, but I'm pretty sure I was comig down with something and had a slight fever.

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Friday, July 21, 2006 4:29 AM

TRISTAN


MSG, yes, when I was getting together the cloth for my wedding, I was something of a celebrity in our loval Hancock's...all the women knew me, and wanted to know how the project was going. But you are right; the only time I saw other men in there was because they were dragged in.

Still trying to think of "women's work"...other than child-rearing, which msg has pointed out as a 2% to 32% difference, and the care line that Odds pointed out...

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Friday, July 21, 2006 4:33 AM

MIRCEA


PR- Its one of those odd things. I don't like climbing ladders, but I used to go rock climbing all the time.

Q: How much does one man's sorrow weigh?
A: As much as he allows it to weigh.

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Friday, July 21, 2006 4:34 AM

MSG


teaching is a big nearly female only area..but oddly while over 80% of teachers are female 70 something percent of principals are male...go figure
of course I just realized how truly odd that makes the fact that nearly all my teacher friends are male:)

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Friday, July 21, 2006 4:40 AM

SERYN


There are actually quite a few male makers that i've encountered, and there was one guy in each year at least in college (in the year just started when i left there were three!) but yes, the numbers are no way near equal, and to be honest, from what i've seen, they tend to gravitate more to the wardrobe master and designer roles (so they can boss people around possibly? ) or the slighly more butch sounding armourer and leatherworking jobs.

Actually, in college, acting, stagemanagement, design and writing were split equally, costume was almost exclusively female, and sound props and set builders directors and technicians were almost exclusively male, and if there were women, they tended to be quite butch or hard-ass.

very cliched, and something of a pity, but hey, everyone was happy in what they were doing, no one was kept away from roles (there was actually a program operating in the college that made the techs and sound guys and SM's spend a few days in our work rooms making pockets and minature waist coats. Their efforts were always pathetic but they enjoyed it) (not least 'cause it got em into close proximity of 30+ females)

In an out and out rant, they used to make the designers do it, and my god were they crap - i don't know whether working with the directors went to their heads, but they'd swan in, not know a single thing (despite having two extra years costume history and research techniques) lord it about, try to make the simplest jetted pocket, not be able to do it because they couldn't listen, throw a tantrum and just be generally unbearable. I think the entire time i was there i liked one of them, and that was just because she was a total sweetie, and i lived with three of them for almost a year)
It was times like that made me glad i went for making - i had the choice between the two and decided to go for the one that would give me a real skill.

See? i had a superiority complex even then.


If it helps, i always used to eat mine by cutting them up first - yet another wierd finickety think - I don't like eating fruit whole - all the jiuce and the big bites - i end up stciky and crap, so i have to cut it up.

Your robot reminds me of you. You tell it to turn it stops. You tell it to stop it turns. You ask it to take out the garbage it watches reruns of Firefly.
http://www.myspace.com/seryndippyt

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Friday, July 21, 2006 4:47 AM

MSG


Seryn I always had the greates respect for Cynthia ( our costumer) she could turn out the most incredible creations with a few hours time. Once when our lead was hurt she had to outfit me in a whole new costume complete with sequin tutu edges and she still did it in like 3 hours ( no idea how) plus she could and would fix any malfunction ( like when I got my head banged on my cage ( emperor's nightengale)and didn't realize I was bleeding on my costume and she somehow got the blood out during intermission before my solo. I teach all my student actors that the tech people can make or break you so you'd better be polite to them since you are the "talent" and they have the actual skills

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Friday, July 21, 2006 5:04 AM

RUGBUG


Yesterday was all quiet like, I go away for the evening (had a great one...actually jumped the horse over some miniscule jumps...and survived) and the thread explodes. Yeesh.


Quote:

Originally posted by PhoenixRose:

Rugbug, I have to contradict the "breakup being damaging to little ones" comment. It is a very good thing my parents aren't together anymore. I would be in a horrible place if they had tried to stay together, because there would always be fighting. It was hard for a little while because I didn't understand, but now I do and I'm glad I have an example of an actually healthy relationship between my mom and stepdad that I can look to.



PR: Of course children of divorce are going to have different experiences with it. And sometimes those experiences will change with age, sometimes they won't. I don't think divorce is bad, just tricky when children are involved: custody battles, splitting time between parents, one parent not wanting to spend time with the children, parents using the children against each other, etc. All these things can be very damaging, especially if the children are too young to comprehend that mommy and daddy being apart is better for everyone.

Piercings: I'm a fan of eyebrows on the right person...I might just have one if I didn't work in an office environment...everything else is sort of "eh". Although, I do have six earrings. . Not sure how I ended up with that many, but I've got three low ones on the left ear (with only two earrings being worn these days), one high lobe on the left and two low ones on the right.

Chopsticks: I figured out how to eat noodles (as well as many other things) with chopsticks in my left hand (I'm right handed), does that count for anything?

Gender and careers: One of the biggest problem I see is that the business world is based on a male paradigm. In order for women to be successful, they have to act like men. Emotions are a no-no, you've got to be cutthroat, family is a burden that gets in the way of business, etc. It's hard to even imagine a business world that is woman-centric. Until that changes or equalizes, I think woman will always be marginalized in the office.





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"My feelings are changeable but intense" Anya (season 7 Buffy)

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Friday, July 21, 2006 5:06 AM

STILLFLYIN


In the gender-related-theatre-jobs vein, my company was weird in that the only "guy-jobs", were sounds and lights (my job). Set design, Props people, costuming, make-up and stage management were all done my females. Except for one time when we had a guy do make-up, but then he was pretty weird.
MSG- You're abosutely right Tech people will make or break you, and if any actors ever forgot it, I just pointed our old 5000 watt battleship of a spotlight at them and said, "do you really want me to turn this on?", never failed.

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Friday, July 21, 2006 5:07 AM

MIRCEA


Guess I should go do work or something. Take care all.

MSG-Btw I ever mention how much I really like the wave icon. Makes me smile when I see it.

Anyways, back to the evils of slaving

Q: How much does one man's sorrow weigh?
A: As much as he allows it to weigh.

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Friday, July 21, 2006 5:13 AM

MSG


Have fun or try to Mircea:)I'm glad you like my wave

Rugbug- yeah I think each child of divorce sees it differently. For me I've never met my biological father ( married to my mom for 4 years, they had me and when I was 6 weeks old he said it was too much responsibility and took off)but I have the worlds best dad ( well I guess step dad) who I wouldn't trade for anything ever.So I am very greatful they got divorced, because my biological dad has re-married and divorced 4 more times each time leaving kids behind and he's a total jerk his sisters don't even speak to him. So I figure I got lucky that he bailed early enough for me to get myself the best dad ever! My grandmother (mom's mother) used to joke that my dad married my mom for me..and she wasn't totally kidding. I am such a daddy's girl:)

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Friday, July 21, 2006 5:34 AM

TRISTAN


On the child/divorce thing; I am also a product of that. My parents divorced when I was 11 or 12...and I was glad for it. I had never really fotten along with my biological father, and have not seen nor heard from him in over 14 years. The man married to my mother now is my "dad" in every sense of the word. It is because of he and my mother that I am the man I am today. Unfortunately, my biological father put such a nasty taste in my mouth that I won't call my stepfather "father" or "dad"; I use his name. The really cool thing is that he has been told that "Your sons look a lot like you"...how shiny is that?

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Friday, July 21, 2006 5:40 AM

MSG


Tristan- yeah lots of people tell me I look like my dad. I still remember the bbq apron I made for him when I was 5. It said " Any man can be a father, it takes someone special to be a dad" and then was covered with my handprints... It's nice to get a replacement for the defective father isn't it:)

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Friday, July 21, 2006 5:49 AM

TRISTAN


MSG, beyond the shadow of a doubt. This man should have been my real father. Actually, he is. I used to get "you look like your father" all the time, and I hated it. Nice to be told I look like my stepfather, though. Replacement for a defective father...I like that!

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Friday, July 21, 2006 5:58 AM

ZEEK


Piercings are a no in my book. They just seem to get in the way too much. Skin is so much nicer and smoother in intimate situations than metal. Just my opinion.

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Friday, July 21, 2006 6:02 AM

RUGBUG


While not a child of divorce, I was raised by only my mother (father died when I was 2 1/2). My mom didn't get remarried until I was 22. To this day I am so thankful that she waited to get re-married. She made the conscious decision because she saw so many of her friends remarry and the kids have a terrible time of it. I suppose it depends on the quality of the step-spouse, though. I think for me there was a window of opportunity in which a stepfather would've been accepted, but after a certain point there was just no way. And now, while I appreciate my stepfather for making my mother happy, he's not really "family" to me. (And holidays are mucked up with his bazillion kids (4), who aren't entirely friendly, their spouses and their children (12)).

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"My feelings are changeable but intense" Anya (season 7 Buffy)

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Friday, July 21, 2006 6:03 AM

FUTUREMRSFILLION


Advice needed. I have to let the exMrFMF know about #2's surgery. Is this too harse?

"I thought you should know that James is having surgery on Wednesday to correct the concave chest deformity. He does not want you at the hospital, and I ask that you not come because I do not want him upset. He is already nervous. I will let you know how things were going, but that means you will have to answer your phone."



one of the Forsaken TM

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Friday, July 21, 2006 6:06 AM

LYSANDER


My parents were divorced when I was one. My mom remarried and since the bulk of my life was with my step-father, he was my dad. My biological father was in the air force for 22 years and then went into customs. He worked out of country a lot but I still got to see him and talk to him on the phone. It was never enough to actual build a decent relationship. My mom and step-dad were very encouraging about me keeping in contact with my biological father. Unfortunately, my dad passed away almost two years ago, so I never fully got the chance to really connect with him.

Simon: What if he(Mal) tells you to kill me?
Zoe: (without hesitation) I kill you.

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Friday, July 21, 2006 6:08 AM

TRISTAN


FMF, not harsh at all. Hopefully he will understand.



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