GENERAL DISCUSSIONS

Male and Female Imponderables--Ride On

POSTED BY: TRISTAN
UPDATED: Thursday, September 21, 2006 20:34
SHORT URL:
VIEWED: 3135
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Wednesday, September 20, 2006 10:46 AM

TRISTAN


Will this work?


I'm no Penguin, but I have a few of these things laying about.

______________________________________

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Wednesday, September 20, 2006 10:55 AM

MSG


LOL Tristan:)
these are the ones I have saved in my Tristan file


I choose to rise instead of fall- U2



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Wednesday, September 20, 2006 10:58 AM

TRISTAN



I have lost count of the emoties in my photobucket...I seem to add more every few days!

______________________________________

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Wednesday, September 20, 2006 11:03 AM

MAL4PREZ


That's excellent, Tristan!

-----------------------------------------------
I'm the president. I don't need to listen.

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Wednesday, September 20, 2006 11:32 AM

ZEEK


woohoo all caught up!! I still have over an hour before I'm done with work too. That was like running a marathon.

OK so I didn't actually click on that ladder link from work. I doubt it's work appropriate. However, if it's the same basic ladder theory we talked about before, then I think there is some truth to it. I put women into the two groups (dateable and undateable). I do have plenty of female friends that I feel no sexual tension with. We just enjoy each other's company. I'm sorry that I don't think about sex every 10 seconds. There are even plenty of physically attractive women that I wouldn't give the time of day. They have to have some sort of personality that clicks with me. However, if I am attracted to a woman than she's going on my dateable ladder and I'm going to take a shot.

The castle idea...can it be a castle on top of a sky scrapper? I hope some other people here watched gargoyles. That castle was the coolest. If it's structurally possible and I'm really rich some day than I'm totally building something like that. It was just so cool looking.

Flavored lip gloss. Never kissed a girl with it on. Can't see how it would be a turnoff though. Unless it's some nasty flavor obviously. I would think the more you can assault the senses the better. Then again I do always close my eyes so that I can totally focus on the sense of touch. OK new subject...baseball...yeah baseball...that's boring. phew all better.

What were we talking about?

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Wednesday, September 20, 2006 11:45 AM

MAL4PREZ


So - the lip gloss made me think - does anyone here have honey powder? Like flavored lip gloss for your whole body. mmm.

For some reason I see PR as knowing about that. Miss Multiple! I've tried using your plan, PR, but not gotten much of anywhere with that yet. It's just not a talent I have! Of course, I got no problem with continuing to try...

-----------------------------------------------
I'm the president. I don't need to listen.

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Wednesday, September 20, 2006 12:12 PM

ZEEK


Quote:

Originally posted by mal4prez:
So - the lip gloss made me think - does anyone here have honey powder? Like flavored lip gloss for your whole body. mmm.

For some reason I see PR as knowing about that. Miss Multiple! I've tried using your plan, PR, but not gotten much of anywhere with that yet. It's just not a talent I have! Of course, I got no problem with continuing to try...


Honey powder? I have no idea what that is, but it makes me just think of regular honey. That sounds like the stickiest worst mess possible. Which could be ok cause it would just lead to a couples shower

Which makes me think of How I Met Your Mother this week. "Does he know I'm in here?" "Yeah hey Robin." LOL love that show...so glad they cast Alyson Hannigan so I watched it.

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Wednesday, September 20, 2006 12:49 PM

EMMARIGBY


Quote:

Originally posted by msg:
I know it cracked me up so much I had all my students ask what was so funny...I truly can't believe someone would do something that dippy, but it is seriously great reading:)




That was a great story but the worrying thing is that that is so something that I could see myself doing! I have poor impulse control (which makes dieting a bitch!).

Has anyone seen those electric shock russian roulette games where 2 or more people grip paddles and wait for the first person to be shocked? Well I must be the only perosn to have played that game in the shop for half an hour by myself. Why? I've no idea. Just seemed like something I had to do at the time. Let's not talk about jumping 20 foot from a rope bridge into a crocodile infested river because it looked cool...

___________________
Hissssssssss!

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Wednesday, September 20, 2006 12:59 PM

MAL4PREZ


Honey powder isn't sticky - it's just like baby powder, but tastes sweet. I've known women who just use it as body powder everyday.

But it's better if it's tasted.

-----------------------------------------------
I'm the president. I don't need to listen.

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Wednesday, September 20, 2006 2:23 PM

NVGHOSTRIDER


(Looks up honey powder making process). I really need to make honey powder.

Thanks for caring everyone.
Out for the night.
Love to all.



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Wednesday, September 20, 2006 2:35 PM

AGENTRUSCO


Here's me pondering.

This year sucks sideways.

You all rock.

Rusco out.

______________________________
I cannot abide useless people.

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Wednesday, September 20, 2006 2:38 PM

MSG


Rusco- BIG HUGS...hang in there big guy

NV- night night:)

Zeek- MisterG and I love that show sooooooo much. Barney is a god. Can you imagine a hideous cross breed Barney/Jayne...aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2



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Wednesday, September 20, 2006 2:40 PM

CHRISMOORHEAD


Quote:

Originally posted by Zeek:

OK so I didn't actually click on that ladder link from work. I doubt it's work appropriate. However, if it's the same basic ladder theory we talked about before, then I think there is some truth to it. I put women into the two groups (dateable and undateable). I do have plenty of female friends that I feel no sexual tension with. We just enjoy each other's company. I'm sorry that I don't think about sex every 10 seconds. There are even plenty of physically attractive women that I wouldn't give the time of day. They have to have some sort of personality that clicks with me. However, if I am attracted to a woman than she's going on my dateable ladder and I'm going to take a shot.



SHUT UP! GOSH! WHAT THE HELL'S WRONG WITH YOU!? How dare you have independent thoughts and agree with that trolling troll of troll! GAWSH! He's such a troll and so are you! Stop being a troll! We only want autonomous hive minds around here and you're ruining EVERYTHING!

...TROLL! I LIKE SAYING TROLL!

[IMG]
It motivates me :'(

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Wednesday, September 20, 2006 2:46 PM

NVGHOSTRIDER


So I'm actually still here. But leaving shortly. Just wondered why? Oh well, goin' home now.
See y'all tomorrow.


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Wednesday, September 20, 2006 6:51 PM

SHINYKITTEN


omg! Zeek! i LOVED Gargoyles!
(l love pretty much all things animated...)
But Gargoyles were so cool! and their castle was funky as well, if i could ever build a skyscraper, thats what it would look like!
...oh! i just remembered how funny their names were! l liked Hudson! and what was the dog-type of one's name? i loved the dog- (he was the only one that couldn't talk) the idea of gargoyles having a gargoyle dog was too cool.
oh, so very fun!

(hmmm...wonder if i could get that series on dvd from somewhere)

when i was in Paris recently (yay for europe gallivanting!) i got two gargoyles from a shop next to Notre Dame...i gave one to my best friend and i have one...he sits up on the corner of the highest cd tower-y thing in my study.

*********************
If Cavemen and Astronauts had a fight....

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Wednesday, September 20, 2006 6:51 PM

DANCINGNEKO


Hey Zeek...

Quote:

Originally posted by Zeek:

...However, if it's the same basic ladder theory we talked about before, then I think there is some truth to it. I put women into the two groups (dateable and undateable). I do have plenty of female friends that I feel no sexual tension with. We just enjoy each other's company. I'm sorry that I don't think about sex every 10 seconds. There are even plenty of physically attractive women that I wouldn't give the time of day. They have to have some sort of personality that clicks with me. However, if I am attracted to a woman than she's going on my dateable ladder and I'm going to take a shot.



ZEEK! YOU...You...you WOMAN! You need to turn in your membership the men's "club" 'cause you've just described the "women's" ladder.

===
*hugs NVG* Sorry to hear you're feeling poorly...*attempts to shove a steaming hot bowl of Pho and chili pepper seasonings through the 'net* Get better soon!

MsG: Transporters are coming as soon as I get those unlimited funds. As for the testing...don't you just love/hate the required testing that eats at teaching time -- it's a break from teaching yet it takes away from teaching time.

Tristan: *hugs* Thanks for the words....like I said...bad day of numbers... But after you passed out, PR, magda, and I had a round of the "sleepover pillow fight" (complete with feathered pillows exploding and feathers flying all around -- and being stuffed down tops ) Hey PR! Did you get all the feathers out?

*blinks at the comments about the bowl of ice-cream* Didn't everyone see the spoons with their names on it sticking out of the bowl (and in a scoop of ice cream)? *gestures to the bowl* Take, share! Stuff like this is better when it's shared with friends.

...As for "ladder theory": You folks really want me to go there? Okay...the rest is skippable if you really aren't interested in the first five issues I have from reading this "theory" (and I'm using the following definition (taken from answers.com/topic/theory):
Quote:

A set of statements or principles devised to explain a group of facts or phenomena, especially one that has been repeatedly tested or is widely accepted and can be used to make predictions about natural phenomena.


Now, I'm going to skip all the issues noted by CK, because they're all good points. Let me list a few (as I said before, the first five) of my own:

1) The report is presented as if it's a "theory" yet provides no prior research. Where is the supporting research? Hasn't anyone done a sociological/psychological/human behavioral research on similar stituations? (I would presume so -- this is a valid question.)

2) Questionable "data" in the begining. This "ladder theorist" presents "data" in the form of two pie charts claiming that these are the priorities of both men and women. Where did he get the data? What method was used to collect this data, if he did it himself? How did he decide/determine what was "irrelevant"/false claims (I forgot the exact terms, sorry.) All of the pie charts' data have no noted grounding and would fall under "irrelevant" and would be tossed out because of the lack of data/reference.

3) Complete lack of methodology. What are the procedures to determine this "ladder theory" (which, by the way, can NOT be a theory, because there is no data either way in this report)? What are the forms of collecting data, how was the data calculated to determine this "ladder," "double ladder," and "ladder hypotneuse" ideas? What were the relative weights of each item that was measured during this research? How many subjects were there during this research? How did the researchers attempt to avoid bias (which they failed to avoid -- the tone of the research is very much biased against women)?

4) Lack of definitions: How did the researchers define a female who rated a "10" exactly? How about a male? What was the rubric used? How did each item within the rubric rate? (For example: "Wealth was rated on a scale from 1 to 10 based on the following ranges:...") Why is it not set as an example within the report itself?

5) Addressing of errors for the study. Since this study is referring to all males and females (presumably in the "Western" world) what was the relative error for the sample study? Does the research take into account that various ethnicities and cultures views of "attractiveness" varies (not all ethnicities think of a buxom, wasp-waisted female with hips that are wide enough to bear a child, and independent, fairly outspoken, and comfortable within her own skin as a "10", nor do they view men with wide shoulders, extremely cut muscles with the body coming down to a "V" shape at the waist as an ideal man)?

...and that's just the start of my issues with this "theory-that-isn't".

To the ladder poster and his "defender": I went back and re-read the posts...I counted FIVE (5) posts before I tossed in my $0.02 into the whole thing. I called ladder poster a troll because of this little thing called the poster's behavior in posting.
Calling people who are willing to date ladder poster (who rates himself a "3" by the way) "bottom feeders," uses cuss words to express thoughts, attacks someone who posts their opinion to the "question" of this non-theory, rants, raves, and then blames the first person who responded to him as the reason others are calling him a "troll." (Yes. I callled him a "troll" because he's behaving like one.) You want me to call him something else? Fine. I'll call him an angry-mysogynist who wants to blame women for his lousy attitude that makes the same women he wants NOT want to be around him.
Of course, FAR be it from anyone else having a bad day, and taking it out on other's attitudes (yes, his ATTITUDE -- if he wants to take it as a personal attack that's HIS issue) because ladder poster NOR his "defender" EVER had a bad day, nor attacked attitudes.




P.S. If you don't like being treated like an adult (that includes having ideas shot down like one, as well as being told off like one) PLEASE feel free to let me know. I'll treat you the way I treat students who act like this...and I'm telling you NOW that you won't like it. (Nor will I listen to your complaints about how I treat you after that.)

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Wednesday, September 20, 2006 9:47 PM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.


*is wishing she spoke Gaelic*
I had a friend in high school who was fluent; learned it from the cradle. When she got really mad she started spitting Gaelic curses (I assume they were curses). She went to Ireland a couple years after she graduated, though. If she's back, I haven't heard from her.
Oddly enough, I did once have honey powder! I managed to go through it within a couple weeks, though, and haven't gotten more because a) it's expensive and b) I have no use for it right now. Also I had to wash my sheets twice.
Could be you're just not used to thinking that way, yet, darlin. It can be overwhelming at first. You keep trying and let me know if it ever works for you; I want to know how good my instructions really are
Ok, what honey powder is: it is honey-flavored, fine powder that you can brush onto the body. Get a little sweat going and it gets all sticky and lickable. It comes in fruit flavors, too. M4P, you know people who use that stuff as body powder? I'm wondering if it's the same stuff, because it's is horrifyingly expensive and it does get sticky when it's wet. Weird.
I've used real honey, too. Honey sticks are the best.
Hiya neko! *picks feathers off her clothing and out of her cleavage* That pillow fight was savage!
Maybe Zeek and I somehow switched ladders, since I have more a man's ladder and he has more a woman's ladder. That'd be funny!
I'll explain again that I am or have been attracted to most of my friends. Most times that fades, at least enough, but I've had friends who I was just madly in love with and wanted to jump for years. Sometimes I would end up dating them (and yes I often lost them as friends) sometimes I wouldn't (I've lost a few of those as friends, too, as we've grown apart or they've moved away) but many of them have been straight women who I couldn't date (many of those have gone off to college, etc, and I haven't seen them in years, or we just had a falling out). Anyway, dating doesn't mean you'll lose the friend, because you can lose them anyway. But if I'm your friend, there's things about you I find attractive, and often that will translate to romantic attraction. Not each and every time, but it seems to be quite often with me, unless someone is too old for me, or with someone else (I shut down my romantic attraction before it has a chance to begin if that's the case) or, you know, whatever else. Unless something really puts me off, I'll give most anyone a chance to see if we can be a couple. There, that's all I was trying to say.
And I have an odd sense of deja vu.
So here's a silly little imponderable from a comment of MsG's: What would you put on a dating questionaire? I made one once, but I was younger then, and I'm not sure what I'd put on there now that might be able to get to the deeper issues that are important to me.

http://www.bigdamnthankyou.com - show Universal your gratitude!

The only real failure in life is not to be true to the best one knows. - Gautama Siddharta

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Thursday, September 21, 2006 2:07 AM

MAL4PREZ


Quote:

Originally posted by PhoenixRose:
Oddly enough, I did once have honey powder!



I knew it LOL!!!

I still have some - I don't go through it as quick as you, but that may change! I got it at a sex store in Seattle - it was Kuma Sutra brand or something. Very fancy!

Off I go to fly home. Bye Orlando!


-----------------------------------------------
I'm the president. I don't need to listen.

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Thursday, September 21, 2006 2:51 AM

MAVOURNEEN


Dia huit, caras (Good Morning Friends!)

A few years ago, I read an article about how men respond to scent, and the scent most men are attracted to is pumpkin pie spice. Husband loves pumpkin pie. I found a pumpkin pie powder and surprised him.
Poor little thing didn't know what hit him.

Same article said most men judge a woman in her early 40's to be nearly 10 years younger if she smells citrusy with a strong grapefruit note.


"Have you ever been with a Warrior Woman?"

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Thursday, September 21, 2006 3:02 AM

SPACEANJL


Just popping in - I did try and post the fudge recipes, etc, but the gorram board ate them. I will try again later...

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Thursday, September 21, 2006 3:12 AM

TRISTAN


Morning, all!
Hey, it's Thursday...that means tomorrow is Friday! For those of us on the 8-5 grind, that is a good thing.

DancingNeko, thank you for your post on the theory. I am a bit sorry I missed the pillow fight, though...

The day is starting quickly...I must get to work. I'll try to pop in when I can!

______________________________________

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Thursday, September 21, 2006 3:17 AM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.


The semi-powerful florals and fruits smell good on me. My scents of choice are tea rose, mango, peach, and lily. When I was going to RHPS a lot, I would have people falling all over me when I wore tea rose, so it became my favorite.
Everyone's chemistry is different, so different things smell good on different people.
Some of my favorite scents (depending on who wears them) are Night Queen, vanilla, and cedarwood. There is a sandalwood vanilla that is also very yummy. My ex would wear it or the vanilla musk oil, and he smelled like candy. Cedar is just a wonderful scent, too.
By the by, these are all oils. I can't abide traditional perfumes or colognes due to the chemical/alchohol base, which makes my head hurt. I had to buy essential oil for my ex because he insisted it was too expensive. It doesn't take much, so it's really not more expensive overall. This would be an important thing for anyone who's going to date or be around me to learn, because my nose is so sensitive.
I have that odd sense of deja vu again. Have we talked about this before?
M4P, yep, I had the Kama Sutra stuff too. I don't think the honey flavor is available in any other brand, come to think of it.

http://www.bigdamnthankyou.com - show Universal your gratitude!

The only real failure in life is not to be true to the best one knows. - Gautama Siddharta

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Thursday, September 21, 2006 4:32 AM

MSG


Dancingneko- right with you and excellent breakdown of the flaws of methodology involved in the ladder. The reason I posted some quotes of the poster was to illustrate which statements were made that would be considered offensive and result in a change in atmosphere....personally I am currently ignoring the sulky outbursts of inappropriate comments (obviously grasping for response- yes I think bringing up stories about how you beat someone up to prove you aren't a tyrant and nazi symbolism is an attention getting sulk) We teachers are used to it and all.

So PR honey powder huh??? do tell...I still think that manual of yours would be a hit.

Tristan good morning and all :) I've actually started a lunch potluck on Thursdays just to keep us going until the joy of Friday

would you all like a cup of coffee??




I choose to rise instead of fall- U2



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Thursday, September 21, 2006 4:51 AM

MSG


I am staying home tomorrow!!! Felt the need to share that with you. It's what will keep me going today

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2



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Thursday, September 21, 2006 4:51 AM

MAGDALENA

"No power in the 'verse can stop me!"


Hello all! Finally got here! *sneezes* darn those feathers! I thought I'd got them all...

Hello GPR! *extricates a feather from PR's hair* I love oils too - much nicer than some of the fragrances I've tried - actually Channel No.5 smells aweful on me - talk about body chemistry and all that! I usually wear one called Japanese Musk from the Body Shop and I wear lavender or geranium essential oils quite often too - depends on my mood! I also love patchouli oil on either me or on a man - mmmmmmmm...

NVG!!!!! I missed you - so sorry that you're feeling poorly! You deserve a lovely wife to make you chicken soup and soothe your feverish brow... & all the other stuff too...

Hi DN!! Hope your day was better today! I've been thinking of you and sending good vibes in a North-Easterly direction all day!

Mavourneen - I wish, wish, WISH I spoke Gaelic! I can say thank you in Welsh and that's about it...

Tristan - you speak Gaelic too....?? *sigh*

FMF - missed you Honey! Good to see you're back - let us know about your travels sometime won't you?

Oh yes - I knew I'd seen Honey Powder somewhere - my bosses bedside table... there are things you know being a nanny that sometimes you wish you didn't...

Hello those who have been away a while - we miss your input when you're not here!!

Oh and as for lip gloss - I've never kissed a man with any on but I have kissed a man with something delicious on his lips and it is such a turn on... you know strawberries... Bailey's... coffee...

EDIT: oooh - overlapping posts - hello MsG!! I love coffee - did I not just mention that yes please - and it is almost 1am on Friday for me now and I do not have to go to work today either!!!!


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Thursday, September 21, 2006 5:00 AM

LITTLEALBATROSS29


Hi Magda - I just sent you an email-you are just so very shiny !


WEll Ponderers , I did it- I told him counselling or nothing.Only after I asked him to leave the house for a few days did he agree to therapy.He's now staying at his mom's.And I'm enjoying some blessed peace.But My oldest Dylan who is 6 is confused & heartbroken.He asked me yesterday " Mommy -do you misbehave alot ? Is that why Daddy is always angry at you? " Wow.Out of the mouths of babes they say ,right?

Hope all is well with you all.

Bryce
**********************************




I swallowed a bug.

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Thursday, September 21, 2006 5:02 AM

MAVOURNEEN


Quote:

Originally posted by magdalena:

Mavourneen - I wish, wish, WISH I spoke Gaelic! I can say thank you in Welsh and that's about it...



Mags- I wish I spoke Gaelic, too! My grandmother was from Dingle and fluent, my grandfather was from Cork and understood but didn't speak it often. My Gaelic is limited, and it is a difficult language to learn without a Native speaker as your teacher. Word order and grammar are a b*tch!

*side note, I hate lip gloss. Get everywhere, and when the wind blows it makes your hair sticky! I use a lip stain so it stays on my lips.

EDIT: Congrats, LA. Husband and I separated a few years ago for similar reasons - and only after I left did he wake up and smell the coffee and we went to counseling. It got sooo much better for me, and we are back together now. I pray the same for you.


"Have you ever been with a Warrior Woman?"

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Thursday, September 21, 2006 5:04 AM

MAGDALENA

"No power in the 'verse can stop me!"


Wow! *huge hug for Little Albatross*

You are an amazing and strong woman and we are so impressed with your commitment to your boys! Thank you for the compliment but it is you who are shiney - even in the darkest things, your boys are going to see you as their guiding light!

Love you so much! Magdalena x x x


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Thursday, September 21, 2006 5:05 AM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.


Hey, jie-jie! (heehee, look, we double posted again)
Yeah, that pure natural stuff is just the best. No matter what, it seems. Mmmmmmmm, yummy oil scents. Makes me want to go oil shopping, even though I have quite a few bottles already!

LA29, I think your hubby has already inflicted some negative things on the tyke if he's asking you if you misbehave. Does he get told off by his daddy a lot?
Sorry, might not be my place to say that, but it just struck me as wrong that a child would say such a thing. Good for you for taking a stand!

http://www.bigdamnthankyou.com - show Universal your gratitude!

Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without. - Gautama Siddharta

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Thursday, September 21, 2006 5:24 AM

MSG


PR- I had the same response. LA it sounds like your husband's verbal abuse has influenced your kids. It seems like his "it's all your fault" attitude may have convinced your kids that you deserve that treatment. I'm so glad you've gotten him to agree to counseling and if I were you I'd bring up what your son said in the first session. Your husband needs to see how his attitude is influencing his kids!! HUGS and loves babygirl...WE'd be happy to shave him bald and glue him naked to a fence if you want!!!

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2



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Thursday, September 21, 2006 5:25 AM

ZEEK


OK finally read the ladder theory. It's presented poorly and I don't think it's all that accurate. It's going vaguely in the right direction though IMO.

DANCINGNEKO - yep apparently I have to revoke my dude membership. I have the two ladder system like women are supposed to have. Sorry I just don't think about sleeping with every female I see.

MsG - How I Met Your Mother was by far my favorite new show last year. Even though I don't really like how Lily was given some of Alyson's nymphomaniac personality from the American Pie movies. Other than that though it's a great show. I'm not just staying home tomorrow, I'm taking vacation. Really makes today a lot nicer doesn't it? Even though I'm taking vacation to go watch my alma motter lose their homecoming game Oh well at least I'll see some old college buddies. Won't be back until tuesday though. I dread catching up with this thread.

ShinyKitten - I think the dog's name is Bronx. That show was one of the best american cartoons IMO. It actually had a good plot that kept building and building. Unlike most American cartoons where there is one bad guy and the good guys fight him every week with nothing real happening. Xanatos went back and forth and all over the board. He's a great character. Oh and I heard there are comic books coming out now by the original writers continuing the story. I might have to pick them up one of these days.

LittleAlbatross - good for you. Be strong. You've taken the first steps toward a better life for you and your children. That couldn't have been easy. You must be one strong woman. Joss would be proud.

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Thursday, September 21, 2006 5:29 AM

NVGHOSTRIDER


Good morning!

Let's see, who's in today?

Takin' the day of huh MSG? Tomorrow's National Indian holiday or some such so I need not work tomorrow. Woo Hoo!

Did I happen to catch ya this mornin' Mags?
(Insert man-bear hug here)




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Thursday, September 21, 2006 5:31 AM

LITTLEALBATROSS29


OK Goys need a little perspective here-he just called & said that by asking him to leave for a few days & made him not want to try to fix things & the only reason for him agreeing to theraoy was the kids.And that I'va alienated him so completely that he doesn't care anymore.Oh & that mis life will be financially ruined & the only hpe he has is if I find some other poor slob to marry & ruin their life too.
He's also peeved that i said I'm afraid he might hit me if things got bad enough.He never has, but threatened to a few times.

Opinions please ?

Bryce
**********************************

I swallowed a bug.

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Thursday, September 21, 2006 5:39 AM

MAGDALENA

"No power in the 'verse can stop me!"


Quote:

Originally posted by nvghostrider:
Good morning!

Did I happen to catch ya this mornin' Mags?
(Insert man-bear hug here)



Ooopf! Thank you NVG! I love those kinds of hugs! It's so good to catch up at last!!!


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Thursday, September 21, 2006 5:42 AM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.


Quote:

Originally posted by LittleAlbatross29:
Opinions please ?


Call a lawyer. Now. A mean one.

http://www.bigdamnthankyou.com - show Universal your gratitude!

Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without. - Gautama Siddharta

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Thursday, September 21, 2006 5:44 AM

ZEEK


Quote:

Originally posted by LittleAlbatross29:
OK Goys need a little perspective here-he just called & said that by asking him to leave for a few days & made him not want to try to fix things & the only reason for him agreeing to theraoy was the kids.And that I'va alienated him so completely that he doesn't care anymore.Oh & that mis life will be financially ruined & the only hpe he has is if I find some other poor slob to marry & ruin their life too.
He's also peeved that i said I'm afraid he might hit me if things got bad enough.He never has, but threatened to a few times.

Opinions please ?


My opinion is he's a jerk. If that's his attitude then you should start thinking about having divorce papers drafted up. He has no right to put this all on you. If he doesn't want to try to fix things then there's no point in calling you. He just did it to hurt you. Holding financial power over you is also unacceptable. It's form of domestic abuse. He should be ashamed of himself.

If he doesn't shape up A LOT I would kick him to the curb. If you guys haven't made it to a counseling session yet, I might wait to see how they go. A professional might be able to get through to him. You never know. However, if you aren't seeing any improvement you cannot stay with him. For your sake and for your children's sake.

I actually pity him a bit. Children aren't stupid. They will learn who their father really is and they will try to do everything in their power to avoid becoming him. (ok maybe that last part is just personal)

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Thursday, September 21, 2006 5:45 AM

TRISTAN


Oh, coffee is wonderful! Thank you, MSG. Lucky you staying at home tomorrow...I hope it's vacation and not illness.

Magda, not so much speak Gaeilge as dabble in it. It's a very beautiful-sounding language but difficult to learn...for me, anyways.
I also enjoy the taste of coffee on a woman's lips...well, and the Bailey's...and the strawberries, too...and you're all the way over there in Australia...

LA29, sounds like y'all are on the right path. I really hope it works out (assuming that is what you want). I've got the engine all warmed up if you feel like giving him a good kick!



______________________________________

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Thursday, September 21, 2006 5:47 AM

MAGDALENA

"No power in the 'verse can stop me!"


Little Albatross, Sweetheart - you know this is more of his abuse... more manipulating and classic bullying tactics! You must have got him worried/scared and he thinks he can use his old tactics to scare you into falling back into line. Your fears are valid, especially if he has verbally threatened you with physical violence!

*hugs LA* you are amazing and wonderful and we are so proud to hold you as a friend! You have done the toughest thing so far and you will hold to your resolve - I know! You have been seeing that this needed to happen for a long time and he hasn't - it is you who are in control and he is not used to that. Be strong and remember the love your boys have for you and your love for them will get you through these next few days.

I am glad he's with his mother - that might help him to 'behave' a little better... She sounds like a good lady to me...

Love you and proud to call you my friend Little Albatross! - Magdalena x x x


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Thursday, September 21, 2006 5:48 AM

TRISTAN


LA29, yep. Get a lawyer. The meanest one you can find. And if you really do fear him, call the police as well.

______________________________________

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Thursday, September 21, 2006 5:53 AM

MSG


Call a lawyer, change the locks, and get a temporary restraining order right now!! He is threatening you. Document when and where he said he'd hit you and get statements from any witnesses that were around (including your kids) if he calls, let the answering machinge pick up so you have his threats on tape. Sit down now and write a list of comments he has made and in what context and if they happened in front of the kids. Any time he calls and wants to talk, try to get someone else on the line to listen or record it if possible. You need evidence of his verbal abuse and you need to protect yourself and your kids. From what you've said this guy is a time bomb...and your count down has started. I don't want to scare you, but from what he has said to you it's a matter of time before he goes from justifying his verbal abuse to justifying his physical abuse. Also keep a cell phone with you at all times and get a disposable camera for in your car ( to take pics if he follows you or if he hits you) make arrangements with friends and family to be able to come and take your kids to their house to stay for a night in case he shows up at the house and you feel threatened. If he does show up and acts agressive or violent...CALL THE COPS!!
I know this all sounds dramatic, but this is very much a case of better safe than SORRY. You have recognized the abuse and are taking steps to stop it, but an abuser is likely to increase violent behavior not decrease and his blaming you for his aggression is a really bad sign. I have seen far to many "too late" situations so I just want you to take the precautions you need in order to be safe and happy!!!

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2



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Thursday, September 21, 2006 5:53 AM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.


Quote:

Originally posted by Tristan:
LA29, yep. Get a lawyer. The meanest one you can find. And if you really do fear him, call the police as well.


Cops! Knew I was forgetting something.
Squeeze him dry, honey. We'll see who will be ruined by this divorce! Do not let him bully you! Remember we're always here if you need to rage or cry or be reminded you deserve better.


*edit* MsG knows more about the details than I do. Listen to her; she is a very smart lady!

http://www.bigdamnthankyou.com - show Universal your gratitude!

Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without. - Gautama Siddharta

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Thursday, September 21, 2006 5:53 AM

NVGHOSTRIDER


Wow. You're still here. Hi. Strange, I don't have much to say. LA sounds as if she may need some advice.

Honestly, it sounds (with the limited information I have) as if he really fits an abusers profile. Stand fast with your choices. You are allowing him the time to get help. You obviously love him enough to accept him and continue loving him. Do not allow the manipulation tactics. There are many resources out there for people who need help of this sort.
nvghostrider@yahoo.com
There is my e-mail if you need some of the resources for your area. I'm sure I can contact one of the local DVI offices for Anonymous 800 numbers.


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Thursday, September 21, 2006 5:54 AM

DESKTOPHIPPIE


I wouldn't feel bad about not speaking much Gaelic, Tristan. Most Irish people can't speak it any more! It's taught in school, but English is spoken day to day and it tends to fall into disuse, except in a few places in Ireland. Kind of a shame, really.

I agree with PhoenixRose, Little Albatross, be sure to call a lawyer. Your soon-to-be-ex is obviously trying to intimidate you and you need to be aware of your rights. Othewise he'll manipulate you into doing something you'll regret. There should be a free legal advice office somewhere near you that can point you in the right direction, and get you support that won't cost the earth.




More animations available at http://desktophippie.googlepages.com

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Thursday, September 21, 2006 6:04 AM

MAVOURNEEN


I agree with all above. His words are manipulation, pure & simple.
Stand fast. Insist on the therapy. Have a lawyer waiting in the wings.
*Personal experience, judges take a dim view of restraining order requests without documentation. Police reports, etc. Be careful with this one.

Verbal abuse affects everyone in the Family. It is as brutal as physical abuse. Sounds to me like he is relying on his old bag of tricks. When he sees it ain't workin' anymore...maybe things will change. Maybe not. You need to be ready either way. Not only for the kids...but for you, too.
***Mental Hug***

"Have you ever been with a Warrior Woman?"

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Thursday, September 21, 2006 6:08 AM

JAMESTHEDARK


LA:
The only advice I have is this: Get out, and take the kids with you. This man is a leach who will suck you dry until you're a husk of a human being, then discard you for somebody half his age when he's done with you. Get out and protect your children from his cancerous influence before it's too late.
This is one of the worse stories I've heard of social abuse, even in this forum. This, in fact, is one of those situations where I've made a contract with my family wherein if I EVER become this sort of a person, I will allow them to shoot me. Literally. You (and anybody else, for that matter) could do infinitely better. Just because he has a job and you don't isn't enough to lash you to him forever.
Being a single mother sucks. While I didn't need to deal with that in my family, I know it can be overcome. You just need to have faith (and if you knew how seldom I say that, you'll understand the gravity of my using it now), in yourself and in those who care about you, which this man you married obviously doesn't. You will persevere.

And I don't doubt you'd find a better husband. After what you'd had to go through with the current one, he's set the bar pretty gorramn low.

Of course, this has been the opinion of a 21 year old man without a significant relationship in his life who comes from an intact home, so take it as you will.

Honey Powder: Don't like the taste of honey, much. Cover yourself in cinnamon-sugar, and you'd be hard pressed to remove me

--------------
I ain't lookin' for help from on high. That's a damn long wait for a train don't come.

98% of teens have smoked pot, if you are one of the 2% that haven't, copy this into your signature.

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Thursday, September 21, 2006 6:11 AM

MAGDALENA

"No power in the 'verse can stop me!"


Hey - I love you all - it's moments like these when the call goes out and the browncoats rally that I know why this place has become 'home'! You're in good hands Little Albatross!

Good night everyone! It's 2am and I need my sleep - but I'm thinking of all you shiney folk and love that we are a tight knit community from all over the globe!

Love & goodnight kisses - Magda x x x


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Thursday, September 21, 2006 6:14 AM

KELKHIL


Morning all.

LA - That was an attack to make you feel guilty enough to let him back in the house. He is hoping that you will back down at this point. DO NOT! Keep to your guns here. Schedule an appointment with a counsiler. Call and tell him when it is but do not talk to him about anything else until the appointment. If he does not show file for divorce. Also, I would get a PPO just to be on the safe side when you file. If he has threatened to hit you before he is a threat to you and your family. And do not let him in the house or meet him anywhere alone once the divorce is filed. Be safe and take care.



Kelkhil

The Shirtless Forsaken

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Thursday, September 21, 2006 6:16 AM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.


'Night jie-jie!
Quote:

Originally posted by JamesTheDark:
LA:
The only advice I have is this: Get out, and take the kids with you. This man is a leach who will suck you dry until you're a husk of a human being, then discard you for somebody half his age when he's done with you. Get out and protect your children from his cancerous influence before it's too late.
This is one of the worse stories I've heard of social abuse, even in this forum. This, in fact, is one of those situations where I've made a contract with my family wherein if I EVER become this sort of a person, I will allow them to shoot me. Literally. You (and anybody else, for that matter) could do infinitely better. Just because he has a job and you don't isn't enough to lash you to him forever.
Being a single mother sucks. While I didn't need to deal with that in my family, I know it can be overcome. You just need to have faith (and if you knew how seldom I say that, you'll understand the gravity of my using it now), in yourself and in those who care about you, which this man you married obviously doesn't. You will persevere.

And I don't doubt you'd find a better husband. After what you'd had to go through with the current one, he's set the bar pretty gorramn low.

Of course, this has been the opinion of a 21 year old man without a significant relationship in his life who comes from an intact home, so take it as you will.


But a 21 year old woman who has had a fairly signifigant relationship and came from a broken home, was raised by her single mother, and saw that mother find happiness ten years ago agrees with him.
Quote:


Honey Powder: Don't like the taste of honey, much. Cover yourself in cinnamon-sugar, and you'd be hard pressed to remove me


I can do that

http://www.bigdamnthankyou.com - show Universal your gratitude!

Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without. - Gautama Siddharta

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Thursday, September 21, 2006 6:22 AM

EMMARIGBY


I'm getting a horrible sense of deja vu here. I do hope I'm over-reacting but Little Albatross's story rings a lot of bells with me. When I was 15 my best friend's sister married a guy I personally thought creepy and aggressive (he was a self confessed Neo Nazi which didn't endear me to him) but she kept telling us that he was really sweet with her.. right up until he stopped being sweet and started verbally abusing her. We persuaded her to get a restraining order but she didn't take it seriously, couldn't believe he'd do the things he'd been threatening. She let him back into her life and he ended up stabbing her 16 times. My best friend, at the age of 16, took over part of the responsibility of raising her baby.

The moral is .. NEVER underestimate how much people can change or surprise you and ALWAYS play it safe when it comes to your physical or mental health.

Sorry for entering lecture mode but this subject touches a nerve with me. If I ever found myself frightened by a man I would never be able to trust them again. It's too easy for even the strongest most self confident woman (which Jenny was) to become a victim.

___________________
Hissssssssss!

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Thursday, September 21, 2006 6:25 AM

LITTLEALBATROSS29


You guys are the shiniest .I'm gonna stay strong & wait for the therapist appointment.I'm not going to engage him.I don't think he'd actually hit me ,but I'm not sure what he'd do if pushed.

I'm just so concrned about the children.Dylan is just so sensitive & aware .I'm worried about providing a stable envronment for them.

NVG there's an email on the way to you.Thsnks.
Y'know I never thought it would ever come to this, I mean we were high school sweethearts & have been together for 14 years now.BUt I guess what will be will be.I can say that I've learned that I'm as loyal as Zoe.Now if he only deserved it ! I really like the shaving his head idea .Made me laugh.

Bryce
*******************************************

I swallowed a bug.

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