GENERAL DISCUSSIONS

Male and Female Imponderables--Ride On

POSTED BY: TRISTAN
UPDATED: Thursday, September 21, 2006 20:34
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VIEWED: 4807
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Thursday, September 21, 2006 6:27 AM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.




Imagine this emote shaking and with tears in its eyes and you have me right now. Holy f**k Emma...

http://www.bigdamnthankyou.com - show Universal your gratitude!

Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without. - Gautama Siddharta

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Thursday, September 21, 2006 6:34 AM

NVGHOSTRIDER


Nighty night Mags. Sleep well.

I don't get how anyone can not like the flavor of honey. Then again, cinnamon and sugar sounds good too.

Choices, choices.

Stalling aside, I too have seen the negative effects of DV problems in my community and unfortunately my own home. But having matured (heaven forbid) a bit, I can see the posative aspect of all people involved finding help. It ain;t about saving the victim and crucifying the offender. If all people involved get the help they need then the cycle is better broken. Sure prison hides the offender, but what happens when they assume their previous post in society. There is life after abuse, divorce, and incarceration. Help people to better those lives.
Strange this impartial diplomacy I feel growing as I age. I wonder if this is what "Growing Wise" feels like.
Think I'll get my wise ass some coffee.


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Thursday, September 21, 2006 6:39 AM

MSG


I completely agree with you all ( see above). If he get's help and counseling and you work it out that would be great. If he doesn't you need to get him out of your life and that's why I suggested the taping or/or getting witnesses to the abuse so you can have some documentation of the threat he poses. If he won't show up at couseling or he gets more violent you need to have some way to prove that so you can keep him away from you...start your paper trail now. If it gets better with counseling you at least have a list of issues to work on, if he blows off counseling or becomes more abusive ( or even continues at this level) you need to have documentation ( dates/times of events, witnesses to these comments/abuse, and best possible scenario audio/video tape of this)

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2



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Thursday, September 21, 2006 7:02 AM

RUGBUG


LittleAlbatross,

I haven't been around for a bit, but I just wanted to say, stay strong. Your husband sounds like he's used to living his life as the victim. Nothing is his fault. He's not responsible for his behaviour or actions. He's trying to guilt you into taking him back because he knows a divorce will financially ruin him, yet he's not trying to change his behaviour. He is financially ruining himself. He's trying to turn you into the bad guy with the 'I was going to go to therapy for the kids'...makes him seem like the one so concerned about the family. Um, sorry, that's not good enough. He needs to go into therapy for your relationship because once that's better (if it can get better) the kids will be better.

As for your son, sit him down and tell him what's going on. The uncertainty is probably really messing with him. It will do no harm to say, 'mommy and daddy are having a hard time being nice to each other so daddy is going to go live with grandma for a little bit. We are also going to go talk to someone to see if we can start being nicer to each other. If we can't, daddy might live somewhere else all the time, but that doesn't mean he doesn't love you just as much as he does now.' Do your best not to make your husband the bad guy with your kids. Keep Dylan informed, but just in generalities. The less confusion for him, the better. Resist the urge to play the victim. Your son has seen enough of that. Show him how a mature person accepts their part in the problem and works to rectify it. It will pay off years down the road.

***************
"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it." - George Bernard Shaw

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Thursday, September 21, 2006 7:04 AM

EMMARIGBY


It's true that you shouln't demonise offenders but it's harder to be forgiving when you're personally involved. The guy I mentioned got out a few years ago and I watched my friend go through hell. She emigrated in the end.

___________________
Hissssssssss!

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Thursday, September 21, 2006 7:11 AM

NVGHOSTRIDER


Forgiveness is devine, to err is to be human. I think never forgetting is more important. Forgiveness allows a person to be free of their own misgivings (of which I have plenty). Forgiveness is the only source of peace I'd truly found.


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Thursday, September 21, 2006 10:02 AM

NVGHOSTRIDER


Bumps into corner of coffee table. Whoops.
BUMP!


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Thursday, September 21, 2006 10:17 AM

MSG


stupid work computer on the fritz...finally working now. May I just say cut out at the most inopportune moment just as I was ordering something and I couldn't complete the order without the description , which I couldn't get without the computer working...finally got it in:) WHEW!

Anyway, soooo glad I have tomorrow off so that no students have to die ( just sort of reached my whining/fighting threshold as the kids are all kind of snarky due to weathe change/first month of school blues)

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2



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Thursday, September 21, 2006 10:20 AM

NVGHOSTRIDER


I feel a little guilty. We've had two kids for the last three weeks. Sure I get a lot done, but it seems increasingly empty. Kinda glad I don't hear the bickering, but miss the laughter.


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Thursday, September 21, 2006 10:38 AM

MSG


I hear you...I just need a me break before continuing to nurture:)

That bunny with a pancake on it's head brings up so many questions for me.
1- Why would you make a pancake for the purpose of putting it on a bunny's head?
2-Why isn't the bunny trying to eat the pancake?
3- What purpose does the pancake serve?
4-Does it make the bunny happy?
5-Does the bunny know what a pancake is?
6-Would the bunny be embarrassed if it knew of the picture?
7-Why didn't they use butter and syrup?
8-Would it be hard to get syrup off a bunny?
9-What if you had a dog to lick the syrup off the bunny, would that make the bunny too appealing and cause the dog to eat the bunny?
10-Why not a waffle?
11- Are they implying the bunny is a food item?
12-Why not a gerbil?

I could keep going, but I am sure you are all already looking for the tranquilizer darts:)

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2



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Thursday, September 21, 2006 11:06 AM

NVGHOSTRIDER


Definately need a break. Had a bout of emotional fatigue a while back. Really sucked. I see you have a touch. Enjoy the day off.


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Thursday, September 21, 2006 11:13 AM

DESKTOPHIPPIE


*hugs* Emotional weariness is nobody's friend.




More animations available at http://desktophippie.googlepages.com

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Thursday, September 21, 2006 11:52 AM

TRISTAN


NVG, you know if there's anything I can do from across the US, you just need to say the word. I'll do what I can, brother.

______________________________________

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Thursday, September 21, 2006 12:31 PM

ZEEK


OK I'm off for an extended weekend Imponderablers. Have a great weekend. Come up with some good stuff for me to read through when I get back.

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Thursday, September 21, 2006 1:29 PM

PENGUIN






King of the Mythical Land that is Iowa

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Thursday, September 21, 2006 1:39 PM

LITTLEALBATROSS29


Sean ,my 2 year old now only wants the
" Pancake Bunny " I don't think he's gonna stop soon.

Bryce
***********************************


I swallowed a bug.

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Thursday, September 21, 2006 2:02 PM

NVGHOSTRIDER


Oh gosh. Pancake bunny. Now I'm hungry.

Gotta go folks. No net possbly all weekend so I'll hopefully see y'all Monday.

Love and hugs to all.


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Thursday, September 21, 2006 2:52 PM

MAVOURNEEN


Just when you thought it was safe to surf photobucket...I present to you:


MsG, your questions are deep and thoughtful. I will ponder them...

Hmmm...why doesn'tthe bunny eat the pancake? Maybe its something like snatching the pebble from Master's hand. Perhaps he isn't ready yet.

"Have you ever been with a Warrior Woman?"

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Thursday, September 21, 2006 3:24 PM

LITTLEALBATROSS29


Ok now Sean will never let me sut off the computer tonight. -
"Two pancake bunnies !!! Funny " so says the space monkey.

Have a good night all, I'm off to watch Buffy-I'm on season 7 now.Haven't seen it since it aired.

Bryce
**********************************



I swallowed a bug.

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Thursday, September 21, 2006 3:37 PM

MAGDALENA

"No power in the 'verse can stop me!"


ROFL!!! I got up, checked my emails, drank coffee and looked in here! I love you MsG! You have no idea how tired I am and how much sense that ponderance makes to me!!! ...scary thought that!

Hey NVG - hope I haven't completely missed you - I am so sorry that you're missing the babes... the laughter and cuddles outweigh the noxious smells and screaming most days so I do understand... *gives NVG enormaous bear hug!* I hope they return to you and your warm home soon! In the mean time - we love you and we'll give you love and hugs in abundance... we'll even bicker a little among ourselves if you like!




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Thursday, September 21, 2006 3:40 PM

MAGDALENA

"No power in the 'verse can stop me!"


Oh - you make me smile! I love that you're turning to a true Warrior Princess at this time Little Albatross!! And your Dylan sounds delicious himself - give him a hug from his 'Aussie Auntie'!!

Goodnight Sweetheart - sleep well! - Magda x x


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Thursday, September 21, 2006 4:08 PM

TRISTAN


Howdy, all! It looks like my notification is on the blink again...so don't think I'm ignoring posts, I just don't know about them!

LA29, bunnies are fun!

______________________________________

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Thursday, September 21, 2006 4:47 PM

CALIFORNIAKAYLEE


Quote:

That bunny with a pancake on it's head brings up so many questions for me.
1- Why would you make a pancake for the purpose of putting it on a bunny's head?
2-Why isn't the bunny trying to eat the pancake?
3- What purpose does the pancake serve?
4-Does it make the bunny happy?
5-Does the bunny know what a pancake is?
6-Would the bunny be embarrassed if it knew of the picture?
7-Why didn't they use butter and syrup?
8-Would it be hard to get syrup off a bunny?
9-What if you had a dog to lick the syrup off the bunny, would that make the bunny too appealing and cause the dog to eat the bunny?
10-Why not a waffle?
11- Are they implying the bunny is a food item?
12-Why not a gerbil?



1. To inspire such questions as these.
2. Bunnies prefer snacks like carrots, lettuce, and fingers.
3. It makes the bunny's people go "Awwwww!"
4. Anything that makes the bunny's people go "Awwww!" makes the bunny happy.
5. Of course: a pancake is a silly hat that one wears to make ones people go "Awwwww!"
6. Bunnies know they are cute, and therefore are never embarrassed by their pictures.
7. See the next question.
8. Very very hard. Like carpet, only worse. And wiggly.
9. Dogs, bunnies, and syrup should never been in the same sentence, much less in the same room. However, a momma kitty might be able to lick the bunny clean. Or she might sniff and walk away, hard to say.
10. Pancakes, being more flexible than waffles, are more likely to stay on the bunny's head.
11. Bunnies are not food, but food on bunnies is cute and funny.
12. Because bunnies are cuter than gerbils. Duh.

~CK, who loves bunnies, and wishes hubby wasn't allergic.

You can't take the sky from me...

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Thursday, September 21, 2006 4:59 PM

TRISTAN


Thank you, CK!

______________________________________

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Thursday, September 21, 2006 5:00 PM

TRISTAN


Before this gets too long, I'll go ahead and start a fresh thread for the night owls.

Be right back.

New Thread!
http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=2&t=24148


______________________________________

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Thursday, September 21, 2006 5:15 PM

MAGDALENA

"No power in the 'verse can stop me!"


Ha Ha Ha Ha! I am laughing so loud CK!! You must be able to hear me from California!!

You guys will be the death of me - I know it!

*wipes tears from eyes...*

Love you! - missed you! - Magdalena x x x


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Thursday, September 21, 2006 7:59 PM

CHRISMOORHEAD


How's this for an outburst?


..|.. ..|..

Fuck you, whore.

[IMG]
It motivates me :'(

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Thursday, September 21, 2006 8:34 PM

CHRISMOORHEAD


In truth, the following had been said in disagreement with the ladder theory:

Quote:


"Whitefall: YAH, CK IS HERE!!!

And CK, may I just say, don't waste your time reading the rest of it. It's utter drivel. The entire thing is complete , and reminds me why I'm a feminist: because no matter how slightly over the top I might be in the feminism, no matter how neurotic and repressive I might be, its all justified by keeping away from people like the author of that page.

Do I agree that sex may be an unavoidable biological factor in males when it comes to relationships? Yes. But do I think that males can really be happy with just a good sex life? Absolutely not.

That "theory" is essentially a description of why the divorce rate (in general. dont think I mean my folks, this thing has nothing on them) in this country is so high. If people actually think that way.... let me come full circle by saying i'm glad i'm a feminist."

"CaliforniaKaylee: Omg. Ok, I've been so busy the past few weeks that I haven't had a chance to do anything more than lurk here once or twice a day, and yet this has me taking the time to actually login and post.

So before I run off again, let me say this: I have a hard time taking any "theory" seriously that has so many glaring spelling and grammar mistakes. This is from the "Deconstructing the Woman's Pie Chart" page:

I can't even continue to read that drivel. "Phyical"? "Factor's"? I'm sorry, but I can't take anyone who doesn't know the difference between "factor's" and "factors" seriously, no matter how much supposed sociology the theory is based on.

To the rest of it (not that I have any intention of reading any more than I already have), as a married woman whose entire social group is made up of guys who almost certainly want to sleep with me (I'm not being narcissistic, it's just part of being in an industry that is less than 10% female), I call BS on the whole thing. I'm not a bitch for not wanting to sleep with them, I'm married. I'm not a bitch for wanting to talk to them but not sleep with them, I'm interested in talking to other professionals in my field. And I married a guy who fulfills my intellectual needs, thank you very much.

I have a really hard time making friends with women, so the vast majority of my friends are male. Once I can get past the "yes I know you think I'm hot, but you are friends with my husband and work in the same industry as both he and I, so can we just talk as peers?" hump, things go much more smoothly and I'm able to actually be friends with these guys. I'm the only woman invited out for "beers with the guys", I'm the only woman that they'll bitch (yes, men can bitch up a storm) about their wives/girlfriends around, and I'm one of only two or three women who they'll talk business with. I happen to like that, so I go through the excruciating process of getting past the "drool" phase with every new guy I meet. I've found it's worth it.

I also take issue with the idea that "99.999% of women are bitches", as the Ladder "Theory" claims. Maybe 90% of single, late-20s-early-30s women are bitches, but even that seems high. I don't know, I got married before I turned 22, and like I said, I have trouble making friends with women. But what do you call a guy who's engaged to a woman, but talks about how little they have sex and how fat her butt has gotten behind her back, who checks out other women in bars, and who regularly goes to strip clubs? And women are "bitches" because they want to talk with dweeby guys but not sleep with them? Get a life, Ladder Boy (the guy who made the webpage, not you Chris).

~CK, running late and rushing off again."

"MSG: OK so we all agree the "ladder" guy has some serious misogynistic tendancies and need couseling immediately:)"




To which my only response was:

Quote:

Me: Well I certainly don't agree with that!

The only "conclusion" that I see reached is one of two:

1) A couple people on this thread have attained the ideal of how people are expected/claim to feel and function to qualify as being "good" or decent. Conversely, I'm just a peice of shit who refuses to beleive in goodness.

2) I'm the only one being honest with themselves, and everyone else is saying the usual BS to act more "mature" than they actually are.

I'm not going to claim either one to be true. Suffice to say, I REALLY wanted to meet that stereotype and be a "decent" person for a long time, but I'm willing to admit that after a series of letdowns that I just found it to be unrealistic. So my opinion on this matter is that many of you are just not being honest with yourselves.



So my first point is that, while you accuse me of not being able to handle people disagreeing with me "like an adult", I was in fact so open to differing opinions that I said "I don't claim either one to be true", and only that it was my opinion that others weren't being honest with themselves. That was in no way meant to be insulting, and hoenstly no one that I saw took it as such.

What seemed, to me, to be the turning point was where Tristan reminded people that I had "caused trouble before", to which I accused him of rallying people against me. Even though it was only something between he and I at this point, CaliforniaKaylee, who had orginally been very open minded, became infuriated, I guess because Tristan is a friend of hers. She left the following message.

Quote:

CaliforniaKaylee: Right, like Tristian has nothing better to do than sit around hatching schemes to make everyone hate you. Puh-lease.

You have just passed the troll line in my book, and I wasn't even here for the previous incident (which can't be all that ancient of history, I haven't been gone that long!).

One last thing before I add you to my virtual Ignore List: The issue that I personally have with the Ladder Theory (beyond the spelling and grammar, yeesh) is that it leaves no choice for women. We can either sleep with every guy who propositions us, or we can be bitches. Do I think most single women rate guys based on their own set of criteria, which may or may not mirror the pie charts on the Ladder site? Yes. Do I think most women have a problem communicating to a guy that she isn't interested in sleeping with him? Yes. Do I think that makes a woman evil, or a bitch? NO! It's just the way things are, like guys not calling as soon after a date as a woman might like. It's not evil, it's not angelic, it just is.

/Ignore

So, Imponderables, I probably still won't be around much, but what's happening?



So now with Tristan and CaliforniaKaylee pissed off at me, and Dancingnecko who had already left two messages calling me a troll, people seemed happy to start jumping on the bandwagon in unanimous decision that I was a troll, in spite of this being the next message that I left:

Quote:

Me: Ancient history or not, she still brought it up in the first place. The long and short of it is, if she hadn't made her little statements about me being a "troll" from another thread up, we wouldn't even be talking about it now.

I really don't see how this isn't translating to any of you. I don't recall being on anyone's shit list until she spoke up. Now you all hate me? Is that not sufficient evidence in itself?

And please, if by chance anyone was inclined to, don't patronize me with "we don't hate you" responses. I'm not looking for pity here, I'm legitimately wondering how no one else seems to be able to perceive what's happening.

Also, Tristran, this isn't about me having "changed". I haven't changed because there was no need to. I still stand by my statements I made on that thread, and if you're legitimately interested in staying away from that area, I'll be happy to not say them again. However, I do not conceed any single point of it. I spoke on what I've seen, and there's no reason to apologize for that.



And although I refused to conceed my point, at no point did I retaliate in anywhere near as infuriated a manner as they had been responding to me. I was making a plea, in fact, for them to not hate me just because others were.

All of this has been posted in chronological order. I did not add, change, or take away anything from the people who originally posted those messages. My final point: I attempted to react rationally to what I think was irrational hating on me. Even someone who dislikes me as a person spoke up in my defense, but still they continued calling me immature and a troll.

So, to the effect: Fuck you, and fuck the whole lot of them. You think I'm all about self pity or some bullshit, but the above is a prime fucking example of what happens when I try to be reasonable. People act like shit heads to me for absolutely no fucking reason, and when I FINALLY lash out, they point fingers and say "See? I knew it.". Well you can only treat someone like that for so long before they start acting like it. Maybe I'm a weak person in that regard; maybe I cave in too early, but I dont' why the fuck I should have to prove myself to you cock suckers in the first place. I've bled for my God damn freedom and don't have shit to proove to any of you. I ain't asking for praise, just to be treated without contempt when I didn't do anything to warrent it.

[IMG]
It motivates me :'(

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