GENERAL DISCUSSIONS

Male and Female Imponderables- real wild children

POSTED BY: MSG
UPDATED: Friday, October 6, 2006 12:31
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Monday, October 2, 2006 11:46 AM

RUGBUG


Naming is a sign of ownership. When a women takes her husband's name, it is declaring that she is now "his." I think that is often the feminist issue with taking the man's name.

For me, however, it has more to do with the fact that I've had this name for a really long time. It is part of who I am. I think if I had married young I wouldn't feel the same way. But I didn't, so I do.

I have another friend who dropped her middle name and her maiden name became her middle name.

There are many creative ways to maintain your family history and more power to whatever someone chooses. Differences are what makes the world an interesting place, afterall.

***************
"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it." - George Bernard Shaw

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Monday, October 2, 2006 11:53 AM

ZEEK


Quote:

Originally posted by marina:
Quote:

Originally posted by msg:

I have never really understood the feminist thing about not giving up your name ( which as james pointed out is really your dad's name) and if you use your mother's birth name then you are really using her father's name and so on. So it doesn't seem to matter one way or another you're using a guy's name...



Keep in mind, however, that there is also a difference between a father and a husband. You came from your father, you're a part of him, he raised you, whatever (hence the traditional naming system). When you marry, the idea is that you take your husband's name to indicate you are now a part of HIS family. It's not so much whether it's a man's name or a woman's name, but the family you "belong" to.

That's the idea, anyways.

So, I'd just rather belong to my family and my parents.

EDIT: I know this leaves the door wide open for "what about your children, they'll be a part of your husband?" arguments, but I don't really want to argue about it :) So this is the last one on this subject


All I want to make sure about is that you did say you'll let your children choose what they want to use right? Because getting beaten up in gym class for the first 5 years of school because your grandpa wants you to have 3 last names is not going to sit well with a child. A.) he'll hate his grandpa (see: me and my stupid middle name) B.) he'll have issues over being bullied and C.) he'll be sure not to pass on the name to the next generation making it a bit of a waste in the first place. This chain obviously won't last very long anyway. If your children are female then it's going to start to get silly to try to have kids with 4 last names. Have you ever sat down and explained to your parents that passing on pearls of wisdom like MsG's grandma did for her could be a much more meaningful and lasting impression to leave on the world?

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Monday, October 2, 2006 12:00 PM

MARINA


My preference - for instance, if I adopt children as a single mother - is for them to have the same four name arrangement my brother and I have. We've got our first names, our middle names (his middle name was my paternal grandfather's, mine was my paternal grandmother's - I'm not sure I would use family names) and both last names. It was never a problem "in gym class" or wherever, and it was certainly easier than having hyphenated disasters (I went to school with a Jason Eastwick-Haskell, and I don't even know his middle name!)

If that were to be the case, though, you're right. I wouldn't mind which name they chose to use or which name they chose to pass onto THEIR children.

God am I getting ahead of myself. Let's work on getting me a date before I think about grandkids

I'm very smart.

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Monday, October 2, 2006 12:30 PM

MINK


Funny I have the totally traditional setup. Wife and two daughters with my last name. Things are just so darn simple when you can fit into society's molds! I revel in the freedom of being normal!

But enough horn tooting - this was all my wife's deal, I could live with whatever she chose. But she had already been married, so she didn't want to keep that, and she didn't want her birth name because her Dad leaves her kind of .

The thing is, if I had taken on my wife's name, or worse yet if the kids had, there would have been hell to pay with my parents and probably asserted other relatives too.

I knew a guy a number of years back who had assumed his wife's name after they flipped a coin at their wedding. Hippies. Sheesh.

It's okay to leave them to die.

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Monday, October 2, 2006 12:30 PM

MINK


Funny I have the totally traditional setup. Wife and two daughters with my last name. Things are just so darn simple when you can fit into society's molds! I revel in the freedom of being normal!

But enough horn tooting - this was all my wife's deal, I could live with whatever she chose. But she had already been married, so she didn't want to keep that, and she didn't want her birth name because her Dad leaves her kind of .

The thing is, if I had taken on my wife's name, or worse yet if the kids had, there would have been hell to pay with my parents and probably asserted other relatives too.

I knew a guy a number of years back who had assumed his wife's name after they flipped a coin at their wedding. Hippies. Sheesh.

It's okay to leave them to die.

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Monday, October 2, 2006 12:49 PM

ZEEK


Quote:

Originally posted by mink:
I knew a guy a number of years back who had assumed his wife's name after they flipped a coin at their wedding. Hippies. Sheesh.


Hmmmmm I had never really thought about taking someone else's name. Which normally seems fine until I thought about the person I'm crushing on lately. Her last name is just a first name...and a girl's first name at that. Just don't seem right. I have a feeling I'd be wandering around mumbling "Jayne ain't a girl" after a while.

Bah don't think it's really an issue. I don't hear wedding bells anytime soon.

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Monday, October 2, 2006 1:23 PM

TRAVELER


Well if you get married there is no law saying you have to change your name. Each person can keep their own as far as I know. Of course each state has their own laws and some can be pretty strange. As for the children you have the boys take the fathers name and the girls take the mothers. If you have all boys or girls that may seem unfair so you could just take turns. Flip a coin for the first child and the alternate. But if the kids all want to have the same last name then your stuck. I suggest pillow cases stuffed with marshmellos and who is left standing can choose the family name. Are you getting the idea I'm single. And probably will stay that way.


Will stop rambling now
Traveler

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Monday, October 2, 2006 5:08 PM

TRISTAN


Evening, imponderable-ers!
Sorry, this was 'moving weekend', so I did not have much time to play online. The good news is that the ex and all of her stuff are gone from my life and home! The bad news is that now I have to clean and rearrange the carnage left behind...

So, let's see what I've missed...huh, things that make a marriage good...
1-Repsect. I agree with that one completely.
2-Fidelity, both in body and emotions. Had a problem with that one recently.
3-Love of life.
4-Sense of humor.
5-A strong desire to have sex.

I may not be the best one to talk to about marriage right now...

NVG, I am also completely tired of the damn games. I would love to find someone that would rather not play them, and just get down to the brass tacks. It's simple, really...if there is a mutual attraction, it needs to be stated.

Marina, I'm going to try to read the rest of this thread, so if you have answered this, I'll try to remember to erase this...would you mind explaining the last name thing to me? Does this mean any children you give birth to, even if you are married, will carry your last name, and not that of your husband? Just need clarification on that...
-EDIT- Ok, read your answer. You might have a problem finding a male to go along with that caveat.

Ok, flirting games when both parties know the outcome are alright. I just meant the serious games where one partner is toying with the emotions of the other.

My house is on fire, what do I save? Oy. I have no idea. I have too much stuff to even think about...

I missed the sin thing...

Ok, it's bedtime, and I only got halfway through...I'll try to catch up later, but by then it will be too late!



______________________________________

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Monday, October 2, 2006 7:33 PM

WHITEFALL


Well I'm back....


Hmm... marriage. Well I gotta say, I agree about the friend thing. I dont care what people say, I don't understand how you can love someone you don't ultimately LIKE. Just seems weird.

On the subject of last names, mine is not only hyphenated, but its... without a hyphen. So its like there was hyphen, but not! Exciting, aint it?

As far as i'm concerned, any kids I have will eitehr take one word of the last name like my cousins did, or they'll just have their mother's name. Would simplify things mucho. And as for taking a wife's name? I'd absolutely do it if she wanted/was willing. I'm not stranger to issues with names, and I wouldnt mind being confronted wtih "OMGWTF you took your wife's name?!" every time I tell someone. Meh. Gender equality: doesnt mean we should flip the previous tradition entirely, just that man and woman should just consider it case-by-case. And if you want metaphors about names and men owning women like that, read The Handmaid's Tale by Atwood, where all the handmaids are named after the man they serve. So their names are just Offred and Ofwarren and Ofglen. Scary stuff.

"But, these strong women characters?"

"Why aren't you asking 100 other guys why they don't write strong women characters?" -Joss Whedon.

"We take all the money we got saved right now, we could maybe buy a moderately sized gerbil." -Mal

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Monday, October 2, 2006 8:26 PM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.


While I've not been married, I think the most important things for a long-lasting relationship would be respect, passion, communication, empathy, compatability, willingness to work past your own go se, and devotion. Pretty similar to what Ms G said, I guess.
As for specifics that I would want, definitely a sense of humor, a sense of sharing, a sense of depth, and absolute gluttony for touching! Yes, I realized that, when it comes to touching and being touched, I am, in fact, a glutton. And someone who can at least think. Seems like there's a bit of shaky ground when it comes to the smart guys, though. Even though I'm pretty smart myself, many of them have felt the need to talk down to me. I'm never puttin' up with that again, I tell ya!
I was thinking about games as I tried to get to sleep today. Here's the thing, my ex never had to work at getting me into bed, and didn't seem to have any problem pleasing me. Now at this point most men are saying "So, that's good right?" and I think it is, but I don't think he did. I didn't play any games about it. Didn't 'play hard to get' so to speak. Maybe I stopped being at all intriguing to him because of that.
I think that's fked up.
Games are dumb. Up-front is good, but so few people seem to actually feel that way. It's like they have a weird addiction in their brains to things not being easy.
Marina, I'm sorry to hear about your loss. But I envy you that you've had that. I want that.
As for name issues, I actually prefer my mother's last name and would want to give that to my kids. Weird, right? But if I met someone with a really nice last name (who I also loved and liked and respected of course) I wouldn't say no to giving them that. I'm never changing my name, though. I don't like the conotations of that (please don't argue with me, I know not everyone sees it as an 'ownership' thing, but I do). I got my father's last name, my (half) brother got my mother's last name. Weird, yes?
Oddly enough, most guys I have dates haven't been overly fond of their last names and probably wouldn't insist on passing them on.
My house is on fire, I save my computer if I can. And my journals. My wand and maybe more sacred pieces of jewelry. Things that can't be replaced.
Mink, of course copulation is necessary. I've said it before, I'll say it again, if you ain't touching, you ain't lovers.
Huh, the ownershpip thing was brought up. Well, shiny!
That whole thing is the problem I have with 'marriage'. I have no problem with a bond, pledging yourself to someone, it's a beautiful thing, but its histroy makes me just a little sick.
Anyway, my mother never changed her name because she didn't want the hassle. And, as I mentioned, she has a very nice last name. 'Hanley' means 'high meadow' I think. And it's very pretty! So, no changing for her. No, you do not have to change your name to get married.
Fidelity is a good one Tristan! I didn't really ever have a problem with that, but ooooooh, I think some people I dated sure did! Bastards.
Handmaid's Tale made me a little sick.
And look, end of thread! Holy crap I missed a lot!

http://www.bigdamnthankyou.com - show Universal your gratitude!

We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow in sunlight. - Gautama Siddharta

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Tuesday, October 3, 2006 12:10 AM

SPACEANJL


'The Handmaid's Tale' is one of the few books I have ever thrown across a room.

I have a mix of names at the moment. I use my married name for most things because it's easier to spell and pronounce than the one I had before. But when I publish, I may well use my original name. It's distinctive. I don't have any problem with changing my name. And kids are not an issue at present.

I did a whole paper on the origins of marriage - women, marriage and property. Interesting, but it can make you very angry very quickly.

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Tuesday, October 3, 2006 12:18 AM

DESKTOPHIPPIE


Well, I find my own name pretty boring and bleh, so if I marry someone with a more interesting name I am *so* changing it!






More animations available at www.desktophippie.com - yes, I've moved!

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Tuesday, October 3, 2006 2:42 AM

SPACEANJL


I'm trying to work out what will fit on a dustcover better - y'know, for when the author name gets printed bigger than the title, kinda thing. Also, there's the whole signature deal

Thank you. Me and my ego will be here all week. Try the veal...

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Tuesday, October 3, 2006 5:00 AM

MAGDALENA

"No power in the 'verse can stop me!"


Hi Imponderers! I love this topic! ...these topics...

Marriage - the main reason I never got 'handfasted' is that I didn't find the qualities in someone that I felt wouldn't irritate and frustrate me forever - there was always something 'key' missing... but I am a relatively easy going person so I assume I haven't met the 'right one'... or at least haven't been in the position of considering him...

1) mutual respect - it is much more than caring for someone - it is about trying to undertand and being patient when you don't - both parties have to work at this!

2) communication - talking about everything and nothing - making sure you know where your thoughts are heading... sometimes before they are heading there!

3) Total fidelity - the flirting is one thing, and it can be fun - the 'cheating' in ones' mind and heart is another - I have been cheated on in several different ways and they all suck! When I am in a relationship I do not allow myself to indulge in feelings for someone else - and, yes, there is a degree of self control & choice in the matter!

4) sexual compatibility - I have tried to teach someone I cared about what I wanted and he was too insecure to realise it wasn't a comment on his 'inability to satisfy me'! I love to touch & feel & hold hands & it frustrates me to have a guy push me away like it's an embarassment or a annoyance! I would like to be sure we were able to sustain the lust part of the relationship too...

5) commitment to hard work - this might be the biggest reason that I have not found that 'one' - though it saddens me to admit it. I would love to be married with a passel of children but I have not even remotely found someone who is willing to go the hard yards! All of the above take commitment and work - but nobody live the 'fairy tale' and there is so much involved in making a relationship work - especially for life! I guess I have seen too many of my friends give up at the first sign of difficulty to think that it would be easy! (& believe me - I don't think I would be a picnic!)

Hmmmmmm... names - my sister is actually in a long time de facto relationship but as far as she, her partner and all the family are concerned that is a marriage! She decided to change her name legally in order to avoid confusion for her children whom she felt should have her parteners last name - she and my 'chosen brother' are in one of the hardest working and commited marriages I have ever witnessed! I would also change my name because, quite frankly, my own surname is a little 'blah'!

And in a fire - I would have to save my family history research, notes etc. and my extensive photograph collection - I am an avid photographer and have yet to purchase a digital camera - so there are albums and albums and negatives (& albums) boxes of research and did I mention albums?

...is that all?


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Tuesday, October 3, 2006 5:18 AM

TRISTAN


Morning, all!
Ok, I lied...I'll never be able to catch up to this thread. Oy!

PR, I have always been more interested in fidelity of mind than of body. To me, an SO just having sex with someone else is a more fogiveable offense than falling in love with someone else. Don't get me wrong, the sex thing would be infidelity and would end the relationship, but the falling in love with someone else would cause a total loss of respect for the SO...and that is what happened.

Magda...why is it again that you are halfway around the world?!? *sigh*

______________________________________

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Tuesday, October 3, 2006 5:36 AM

MSG


Morning all- Ok this is so going to be one of those days. First I was late to school. Then we have a lock down drill during my prep so I don't get all the stuff I needed to done. Then a fight breaks out in my 2nd period. OK argh!!!! Rant over:)
EDIT- oh and lucky little arachnephobic me I found a spider in my room and now I don't know where it's gone so there's a whole day of nervousness
Anyway, hope you're all having a fine morning filled with joy.

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2



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Tuesday, October 3, 2006 5:41 AM

NVGHOSTRIDER


Mornin' everyone. Busy as usual, but the silver lining emerges.

Possibly deer hunting this weekend. Traded the Cougar for another Ranchero. And I just saved money on my car insurance. I guess things are shapin' up.

Hope I didn't jinx it.


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Tuesday, October 3, 2006 5:44 AM

MAL4PREZ


MSG - I hope your day improves! Silly kids - fighting! They need Jayen to whack `em in the head!

About the last name thing - it isn't about whether I choose my father's name or my husband's. My last name is MINE, not my father's. No matter where it came from, it's been mine all my life. It identifies all the things I've done - it's on my thesis, my publications, all my financial and medical records... I have no desire to separate myself from all that. And no energy for changing it officially, LOL!

Besides, it's a cool name. I'd possibly feel different if it was a crappy name.

About marriage - I am pretty disgusted with the whole history of it, and I find the idea of marriage not so applicable to my life. I mean, it's based in religion and a completely different social system and gender power dynamic - all of which give me the willies.

As far as committing to the man I love, I can do that without standing in a church and having an official sheet of paper. This is just me though - I have no problem going to other folks weddings and being very happy for them.

I must admit though - the idea of getting to wear a pretty dress (I'd want to do something cool and renaissance-y, not a white lacey fluffy thing) and have a big party and get all my friends drunk and have them bring me lots of cool kitchen gadgets and stuff...

Somehow, I like all that.

Touching - I sooo agree PR! I love the touching! I was single a long time, and I was craving it! Now I can't seem to get enough of the little touches. Luckily, my new guy loves it too. We're like an old married couple already, I always have a hand on his shoulder while he's driving, stuff like that.

I can't figure out my sin. It might be sloth, which sounds weird considering all my activities lately...

-----------------------------------------------
I'm the president. I don't need to listen.

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Tuesday, October 3, 2006 5:47 AM

DESKTOPHIPPIE


*removes all jinxes by sprinkling fairy dust*

Have a great weekend, NVG. Enjoy the great outdoors! Be at one with nature! Then shoot it.

Magdelena - I think your mix for a good marraige sounds perfect




More animations available at www.desktophippie.com - yes, I've moved!

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Tuesday, October 3, 2006 5:50 AM

MSG


Mal- well sounds like you're happy and that's all that matters...however you could have a committment party and do the fancy dress and good food/presents thingy:)

NV- wow cool on the exchange/ lower insurance thing. Saving money is always nice. Good luck on the deer hunt and thanks for saving some poor deer from horrible death by starvation ( I am serious as with deer overpopulation and winter coming that's the fate in store for most)

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2



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Tuesday, October 3, 2006 5:50 AM

PENGUIN






King of the Mythical Land that is Iowa

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Tuesday, October 3, 2006 6:05 AM

TRISTAN


NVG! Venison...think of me when you consume that there deer! It's been a long time since I had deer meat...



______________________________________

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Tuesday, October 3, 2006 6:08 AM

ZEEK


Quote:

Originally posted by msg:
EDIT- oh and lucky little arachnephobic me I found a spider in my room and now I don't know where it's gone so there's a whole day of nervousness


Oh I just hate that. I turn around to get a tissue to smash it with or something and when I turn back the little bugger is gone. Never fails. Luckily I have a bug seeking device, otherwise known as a cat.

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Tuesday, October 3, 2006 6:09 AM

DESKTOPHIPPIE


Quote:

Originally posted by Zeek:
Quote:

Originally posted by msg:
EDIT- oh and lucky little arachnephobic me I found a spider in my room and now I don't know where it's gone so there's a whole day of nervousness


Oh I just hate that. I turn around to get a tissue to smash it with or something and when I turn back the little bugger is gone. Never fails. Luckily I have a bug seeking device, otherwise known as a cat.



Note to self: Get a cat.




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Tuesday, October 3, 2006 6:17 AM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.


Quote:

Originally posted by mal4prez:
About marriage - I am pretty disgusted with the whole history of it, and I find the idea of marriage not so applicable to my life. I mean, it's based in religion and a completely different social system and gender power dynamic - all of which give me the willies.


Thank you! There, see? I'm not the only one!
I really thought I was the only person on the planet who held this opinion. I've explained it and explained it to people, and sometimes they get it and sometimes they don't. Usually they don't, or even when they do, they still think it's silly of me to have that outlook.
There's a Bon Jovi song I just love called "Living in Sin" that starts out "I don't need no licence to sign on no line, and I don't need no preacher to tell me you're mine" and I think that's the best!
Anyway, yes. If I were to do anything official-like, it would be a handfasting, since that would actually hold meaning for me. I like the idea of just a "commitment party" though. That would be pretty shiny.
I was always totally touchy-feely with Ex of Doom. He never objected, but he rarely initiated either. Sometimes he would. Less so as the relationship got older.
Stupid boy.
Anyway, I should go to bed. I might not just yet, though.

http://www.bigdamnthankyou.com - show Universal your gratitude!

We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow in sunlight. - Gautama Siddharta

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Tuesday, October 3, 2006 6:27 AM

ZEEK


Quote:

Originally posted by PhoenixRose:
Thank you! There, see? I'm not the only one!
I really thought I was the only person on the planet who held this opinion. I've explained it and explained it to people, and sometimes they get it and sometimes they don't. Usually they don't, or even when they do, they still think it's silly of me to have that outlook.
There's a Bon Jovi song I just love called "Living in Sin" that starts out "I don't need no licence to sign on no line, and I don't need no preacher to tell me you're mine" and I think that's the best!


Well to me marriage is between the two people getting married. I don't care what my parents think marriage means and I certainly don't care what the first person who ever got married intended it to mean. I care what I think it means and what my spouse thinks it means. Cause those are the only two opinions that matter. So, I guess I'm saying put me down in the doesn't understand column.

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Tuesday, October 3, 2006 6:30 AM

MAL4PREZ


PR - yes, it's funny how some people can't handle someone who doesn't want to live the system. OK, that sounds like I'm really putting down marriage, but I don't mean to! I understand it's very meaningful for others, and that's wonderful. For them!

It'd be so hypocritical for me to walk down a church aisle. It'd be downright disrespectful to those who believe, because I just don't.

Anyway... end of that!

MSG - yes, get a cat! I point out the spiders to her and she does the rest - good kitty!

I hate spiders. Ick! There is no ease when you know one is wondering about!


-----------------------------------------------
I'm the president. I don't need to listen.

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Tuesday, October 3, 2006 6:36 AM

MSG


I have 2 cats, but they aren't here with me at school. I have sent Diego ( my 9th grade assistant) to hunt it and kill it if possible...oh well.
I can't believe it's Tuesday. I definitely need a break, a nice long break....I'm not getting one, but oh well:)
Ignore me I am just really cranky today and I may be forced to eat a student




I choose to rise instead of fall- U2



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Tuesday, October 3, 2006 6:37 AM

NVGHOSTRIDER


Commitment party sounds nice. But the idea of an actual wedding seems to stick in the back of my mind. Picture ops and all.

As for the hunting trip, Its been almost ten years since I went with my aunt and uncle. I love them to no end but they are older. I'd really like to see if they'd wanna go have a beer with me on Saturday night in Eureka Nevada. Its a really great small town with one bar, two gas stations, some small eating spots, and a pawn shop. All hugged up in a large canyon in central Nevada. Wonder if there are any 'Coats in that area?




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Tuesday, October 3, 2006 6:51 AM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.


Zeek, you obviously did not read my original long-ass post, in which I said "I'm never changing my name, though. I don't like the conotations of that (please don't argue with me, I know not everyone sees it as an 'ownership' thing, but I do).
"Huh, the ownershpip thing was brought up. Well, shiny!
That whole thing is the problem I have with 'marriage'. I have no problem with a bond, pledging yourself to someone, it's a beautiful thing, but its histroy makes me just a little sick."
It's between two people. That's fine. That's wonderful. I get it. It's about what it means to them. Yes, wonderful, I get it. So what marriage means to me is its history. You can't erase history. It would be like... Like if, through time, rather than slavery being abolished, it was just that the relationship between slave and master changed, gradually, until there was far more choice and more rights involved for the 'slaves' but it was still called 'slavery' and they were still called 'slaves'. That's the closest comparison I can come up with. Wives did used to be near-slaves. Their husbands bought and paid for them with a dowry. They had no rights. They could not own or inherit property. They were at the mercy of the men in their lives. The 'tradition' of giving the bride away stems from this. History doesn't change. The past connotations of words can't completely change. And the connotation of the word 'marriage' holds the roots of its past for anyone who bothers to study it.
Still don't understand? Then you probably never will. And I guess that's okay too.

Imponderable that just popped into my head: Do y'all think there's such a thing as a slightly-submissive but loves-to-explore man who also has a healthy libido, wouldn't want to have to play games for sex to be interesting, and wouldn't be submissive in everything else and just simper and never make a decision? Because I think that would be my perfect man!

Uh, assuming everything else fit, personality-wise and such. You know.

http://www.bigdamnthankyou.com - show Universal your gratitude!

We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow in sunlight. - Gautama Siddharta

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Tuesday, October 3, 2006 7:11 AM

NVGHOSTRIDER


For the most part I have to say you described the guy who is pretty much me. I like the idea of getting crap done and spending whatever time is left in doing the simple things that really matter. The slightly submissive part comes from bein' around women my whole life. Its just easier to get the job done rather than standing around "debating" (fighting) about it.

As for the games for sex to be interesting. Who really "likes' playing games in the sack. Competitive grappling?
I don't think so. Just enjoying your partner and the setting is what matters.
Can't get my mind off the great outdoors. Setting counts for alot.


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Tuesday, October 3, 2006 7:16 AM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.


Yeah, well, read my long-ass post and I talk about my suspicion that my ex was more interested in playing games than getting laid on a regular basis. As for playing during sex... or foreplay... that's a whole different thing.
Ok, sorry, I just have sex on the brain, can you tell? Stupid bloody hormones.
I'm going to bed. See if I can sleep it off.

http://www.bigdamnthankyou.com - show Universal your gratitude!

We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow in sunlight. - Gautama Siddharta

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Tuesday, October 3, 2006 7:17 AM

LITTLEALBATROSS29


Hi Ponderers,

PR _ I'm sure your guy is out there somewhere.We could always summon him !

And even though I am married I agree with you on many counts.I went to a female judge & she married us by a lake in upstate NY.That night we were handfasted .At both ceremonies we were alone.Just him & me.I'm still glad we did it that way.
I took his last name ,cause I never felt right with my father's & am closer to my husband anyway.But I always thought we should have our mother's last names anyway.

Bryce
******************************

I swallowed a bug.

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Tuesday, October 3, 2006 7:17 AM

MSG


hmm PR well without being too indelicate or going into the TMI zone... I think bedroom games can be lots of fun. I think submission for play can be fun. Having someone else "control" you and your pleasure can be very stimulating ( in my opinion ) however I believe I am straying into the TMI zone so I'll just shut up now


I choose to rise instead of fall- U2



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Tuesday, October 3, 2006 7:44 AM

SMARTBUTDUMBBLONDE


hallo!

how ya doing today?
ooh, MSG bad luck with the spider! I had a huge one drop down from the lamp in my room into my hair the other day, and was left undiscovered untill I went to brush my hair about half an hour later! The shock nearly killed me.
Insects seem to have an afinity with my hair, a slug landed on my head a couple of weeks ago. Vigorous hair washing ensued.

***************
Never do anything you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics.
98% of teens have smoked pot, if you are one of the 2% that haven't, copy this into your signature

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Tuesday, October 3, 2006 7:44 AM

MSG


Had to put this in for Penguin



SBDB- I know how you feel. A month or so ago I felt something drop on my clevage, but I was eating crackers and thought nothing of it. Later went to take a bath and found a spider in my bra...so traumatized
I choose to rise instead of fall- U2



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Tuesday, October 3, 2006 7:54 AM

SMARTBUTDUMBBLONDE


ooh! adorability overload!!

Spiders don't actually scare me, its the idea of them being on me and me not knowing, as with all insects. I was lay on the field before the holidays, when my squeamish friend started yellling (yes, the third l is deliberate, she was very loud!) that she thought she saw something crawl up my skirt. Thankfully, it was a false alarm, but I was uncomfortable and nervous the rest of the day!

Thank you so much for the compliment on the 'show your pretty face here' thread. I love that film.


***************
Never do anything you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics.
98% of teens have smoked pot, if you are one of the 2% that haven't, copy this into your signature

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Tuesday, October 3, 2006 9:01 AM

NVGHOSTRIDER


Leaving for MANDATORY lunch so

BUMP!


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Tuesday, October 3, 2006 9:04 AM

MSG


How can lunch be mandatory?? That's odd, but I am glad you're getting nourishment sweety. I'm still fussing over you and a bit worried about how sick you were HUGS

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2



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Tuesday, October 3, 2006 9:14 AM

MAL4PREZ


yeeee - I'm having the spider willies now...

Have a lovely mandatory lunch NV!! I hope it includes good stuff.

-----------------------------------------------
I'm the president. I don't need to listen.

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Tuesday, October 3, 2006 9:25 AM

MSG


Mal- know just how you feel. All day in the back of my mind I just know there's a spider in my room...'course the fact that I'm wearing a short skirt also makes me nervous. I mean what if the spider is on my leg or something, I'd just feel better if my legs weren't all bare to mid thigh and all...oh well:)

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2



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Tuesday, October 3, 2006 9:28 AM

RUGBUG


I had to kill the hugest spider the other day. It was all up by the corner of the ceiling and when I went to kill it, it dropped behind a poster frame. Then it was just gone. The next day it ended up right by my bed. ACK!!! I bravely squashed the sucker...and left his guts there as a 'Spiders ye beware' warning. (Or really I'm just lazy and freaked out...they will be getting washed off the wall soon). Blech!

***************
"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it." - George Bernard Shaw

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Tuesday, October 3, 2006 9:35 AM

MSG


See spiders are possible proof that evolution is not always sucessful. They'd have a much greater chance of survival if they evolved to look like baby seals or cute little rabbits...but no they've stuck with this menacing, terror inducing form that causes all of us to swat them without mercy ( except me I make Mr.G swat them) They really need to get on the evolutionary wagon and get themselves some cute little forms.

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2



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Tuesday, October 3, 2006 9:42 AM

ASORTAFAIRYTALE


Quote:

Originally posted by msg:

oh and lucky little arachnephobic me I found a spider in my room and now I don't know where it's gone so there's a whole day of nervousness




Yeah, spiders can be pretty creepy, especially when you don't know where they are...Even though I hate spiders, most other normal icky things don't bother me so much, like snakes. And I don't like how some people think that girls should be more afraid of that sort of thing. I know plenty of guys who are more freaked out by them than me!

------

"The answers we find are never what we had in mind."


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Tuesday, October 3, 2006 9:47 AM

TRISTAN


Creepy-crawlies never really bothered me. I won't go petting a spider, don't get me wrong, but they are very fascinating life-forms. But, this is also coming from a guy who had an Emperor Scorpion as a pet a few years back...

(not mine, but a close approximation)
She was named "Fluffy", and got to be about six or seven inches long when stretched out.

______________________________________

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Tuesday, October 3, 2006 9:50 AM

ASORTAFAIRYTALE


EWW What would one do with a scorpion pet? You can't like pet it or take it for a walk or anything!
I personally would not choose to have something with a stinger as a pet....

------

"The answers we find are never what we had in mind."


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Tuesday, October 3, 2006 9:55 AM

ZEEK


Quote:

Originally posted by msg:
See spiders are possible proof that evolution is not always sucessful. They'd have a much greater chance of survival if they evolved to look like baby seals or cute little rabbits...but no they've stuck with this menacing, terror inducing form that causes all of us to swat them without mercy ( except me I make Mr.G swat them) They really need to get on the evolutionary wagon and get themselves some cute little forms.


Well...that's not true. I don't swat them without mercy when they actually look menacing. Then I raid the hell out of them and wince in terror when I have to pick up the remains and flush them.

Yes, I'm a wuss and on top of that protective of my cat when spiders look too scary.

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Tuesday, October 3, 2006 10:00 AM

MAL4PREZ


I'm a fan of the shop vac myself, for the especially big and creepy type of spiders. Although - my new home has mostly brown garden spiders and a billion daddy-long-legs, and those I can handle.

I do have bats though. One got in my house once - holy cow was that weird! It was circling my tiny living room, big and dark but absolutely silent!

-----------------------------------------------
I'm the president. I don't need to listen.

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Tuesday, October 3, 2006 10:02 AM

TRISTAN


ASOFT, it was actually a great pet. No, I could not really take it for walks, but I was able to pet it once or twice. They are very timid creatures, and would rather run than fight, but seeing her go into her 'kung-fu' stance was something to behold!

______________________________________

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Tuesday, October 3, 2006 10:06 AM

ASORTAFAIRYTALE


Quote:

Originally posted by Tristan:
ASOFT, it was actually a great pet. No, I could not really take it for walks, but I was able to pet it once or twice. They are very timid creatures, and would rather run than fight, but seeing her go into her 'kung-fu' stance was something to behold!



Hmm....I never woulda guessed that they would be timid!
But I suppose that even if they let you pet them, I wouldn't really want to...no offense to you though Tristan, but they are simply too creepifying for my taste!

------

"The answers we find are never what we had in mind."


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Tuesday, October 3, 2006 10:11 AM

TRISTAN


No offense taken! Here, glance through this when you get a chance: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emperor_scorpion

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