GENERAL DISCUSSIONS

Answer to new Firefly Fans

POSTED BY: ATILLA
UPDATED: Sunday, November 21, 2004 00:37
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Sunday, November 14, 2004 9:10 AM

ATILLA


I noticed some new members today. They show up on the chat and ask, "WHY DID THEY CANCEL IT? It was SOOOOO good!"

Well, they all find the answer to be simple and horrible. It just did, because good has no place on TV, except by happy accident.

I thought it would be fun to let the answer give us some fun. Here is the idea, make up one sentence that explains why the show was canceled. It must be a fictional answer, it must be clean, and if it gives us a smile? That would be good to. My examples:

The reavers ate the scripts.

The animal symbol of the the Blue Sun Corporation is a fox.




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Sunday, November 14, 2004 9:25 AM

SNEAKER98


Because reality shows are actually better than any other show; millions of americans can't be wrong!

*Gag*

"I do the job... and then I get paid. Go run your little world."
-Malcolm Reynolds

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Sunday, November 14, 2004 9:54 AM

LINDLEY


Fox was overrun by terrifying space monkeys.

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Sunday, November 14, 2004 11:37 AM

SHINY4004


Fox had (has!lol) a problem with their brains being missing. :)

"Oh I'm going to the special hell."-Mal

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Sunday, November 14, 2004 11:44 AM

DARKJESTER


Because Fox is run by trained apes, without the training.

MAL "You only gotta scare him."
JAYNE "Pain is scary..."

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Sunday, November 14, 2004 11:48 AM

BILLYUNO


Because it was too "conservative" for FOX's "liberal minded media."

Because a major exec's daugher had the hots for Nathan Fillion. ("We can't have that! Not in THIS house! I better cancel that show...")

Because they were jealous it got better ratings than "Malcolm In the Middle." (I hear Frankie Muniz was threatening to strike!)

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Sunday, November 14, 2004 12:46 PM

AURAPTOR

America loves a winner!


Why was FIrefly cancelled ? I'll tell you why....

Because good shows must not be allowed to survive, and are cancelled, two by two. FIrefly and John Doe never had a prayer.

" They don't like it when you shoot at 'em. I worked that out myself. "

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Sunday, November 14, 2004 2:47 PM

NERVOUSPETE



"Because the voices in my head tell me to cancel good shows... they tell me to do bad things..." -Fox executive staring creepily into bathroom mirror.

Pete

"If you can keep your head whilst others... eurgh! Ack! I've spilt my ink! Ugh! Ink on my trousers! Agh! Ink on my shirt! My only hope! The window! Aieeeeee!" (Falls to death)
- Jonathan Nash

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Sunday, November 14, 2004 2:52 PM

NERVOUSPETE



Because it was too "conservative" for FOX's "liberal minded media." - Billyuno

Or, alternatively...

"Because it was too "liberal" for Fox's "conservative minded media."

It was probably both that AND your suggestion Billyuno. "We can't tell where this show is coming from! So it says it likes guns, but that corporations are bad? Is it some sort of commie NRA member or something?" - confused Fox exec shaken mightily by DIFFERENT OPINIONS & VIEWPOINTS on one show. One of the reasons I love Firefly is that it speaks to the best qualities in both right and left leaning people, and those who want to spend some quality time alone in their bunks.

And your second one cracked me up!

"If you can keep your head whilst others... eurgh! Ack! I've spilt my ink! Ugh! Ink on my trousers! Agh! Ink on my shirt! My only hope! The window! Aieeeeee!" (Falls to death)
- Jonathan Nash

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Sunday, November 14, 2004 3:04 PM

NERVOUSPETE



(In a bar)

Me: "Why did you cancel Firefly?"

Fox exec: "Are you crazy? We never cancelled it! It quickly became hugely popular and went on for another two critically acclaimed series, ending perfectly at the exact right moment and leaving the exciting prospect of a feature film in early 2005!"

Me: "Erk! Wow! No, wait! Too strange. Tell me... wait... tell me who's President of the United States?"

Fox exec: "Wha... don't you know? Morgan Freeman of course! He was swept into power after they passed the 'Unflappable Dignified Statesman' bill in 2004."

Me: "A paralell universe! Aieee!"

(Runs out of bar and into streets)

"If you can keep your head whilst others... eurgh! Ack! I've spilt my ink! Ugh! Ink on my trousers! Agh! Ink on my shirt! My only hope! The window! Aieeeeee!" (Falls to death)
- Jonathan Nash

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Sunday, November 14, 2004 3:29 PM

ATILLA


ok here's another:

Reaver Phoenix threatened to sue.

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Sunday, November 14, 2004 4:29 PM

JUMPY


I guess FOX thought thought firefly was too violent and crude to show on THEIR NETWORK.....
__________________________
There's no show I'd rather see, than the one with Serenity.
You can't take the sky from me...

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Monday, November 15, 2004 5:40 AM

ZOID



Everyone in the know, knows there's no 'Oh!' in F*x...


v/r,
zed

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Monday, November 15, 2004 8:02 AM

STILLSHINY


A fox executive had a personal grievance against Joss Whedon because he never gave Jar-Jar a cameo.

Jar-Jar - "Meesa goin to see dem Reavers me heeers dem is bom bad & yousa can protects me"

Jayne - Gorammit Mal, I'm gonna make swiss cheese outa this...."What the hell are you again?"

Book - "Back to hell you vile demon!!" (takes Vera from Jayne and makes a bloody spectacle of the gungan)



Check out my shop!
http://www.zazzle.com/contributors/products/gallery/browse_results.asp
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"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I took the road less traveled by and they CANCELLED MY FRIKKIN' SHOW. I totally shoulda took the road that had all those people on it. Damn." --Joss

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Monday, November 15, 2004 9:12 AM

GROUNDED


The cancellation was the fallout of a massive row between two Fox execs over whether Serenity is FTL-capable or not...

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Monday, November 15, 2004 9:18 AM

HEB


Quote:

Originally posted by DarkJester:
Because Fox is run by trained apes, without the training.



I believe Atilla said fictional....

...................
Well, my sister's a ship... we had a
complicated childhood
.................
I wear the cheese. It does not wear me.

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Monday, November 15, 2004 9:47 AM

PROFESSOR


OK, the real question is how did Firefly get cancelled after 1/2 season but "The Simple Life" is starting season 3.

That's what I want to know.

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Monday, November 15, 2004 11:52 AM

SABACEANBABE


Quote:

Originally posted by Professor:
OK, the real question is how did Firefly get cancelled after 1/2 season but "The Simple Life" is starting season 3.

That's what I want to know.



'Cause the monkeys with the dart board said so.

Nebari mental cleansing doesn't get the tough stains out.

In the immortal words of Socrates, "I drank what?"

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Monday, November 15, 2004 12:42 PM

TENTHCREWMEMBER

Could you please just make it stranger? Stranger. Odder. Could be weirder. More bizarre. How about uncanny?


Single-line, fictional response as to why Firefly was cancelled...

"In response to why we, at FOX, cancel quality programming, we can only point out that if people watched only good TV, there would be millions of dollars wasted on all the programming they didn't watch, so if we prevent good TV from perpetuating, we can keep thousands of poor actors, carpenters, caterers, set workers, executive secretarties, etcetera, gainfully employed and the audiences will eventually find that 'good TV' is just that TV which is less bad, such as the reality TV, thereby allowing us to continue to put millions of dollars into programming, that isn't worth the film it is printed on, thus preventing an economic backslide, caused by the failure of the television entertainment industry, which would inevitably lead to the downfall of mankind as people desperately try to fill the void of television with random violence, self-mutilation, and geese juggling, none of which has any social merit in the advancement of our species, hereby proving that, we at FOX, are simply trying to preserve humanity at our own expense." -- Public Relations Memo, FOX Headquarters for Product Development and Termination

(originally suppressed before Firefly aired, but inevitably released upon the airing of the lost 15th episode...you did see the 15th episode, didn't you?)

Cilantro!
TCM

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Monday, November 15, 2004 1:12 PM

BILLYUNO


Quote:

Originally posted by TenthCrewMember:
Single-line, fictional response as to why Firefly was cancelled...

"In response to why we, at FOX, cancel quality programming, we can only point out that if people watched only good TV, there would be millions of dollars wasted on all the programming they didn't watch, so if we prevent good TV from perpetuating, we can keep thousands of poor actors, carpenters, caterers, set workers, executive secretarties, etcetera, gainfully employed and the audiences will eventually find that 'good TV' is just that TV which is less bad, such as the reality TV, thereby allowing us to continue to put millions of dollars into programming, that isn't worth the film it is printed on, thus preventing an economic backslide, caused by the failure of the television entertainment industry, which would inevitably lead to the downfall of mankind as people desperately try to fill the void of television with random violence, self-mutilation, and geese juggling, none of which has any social merit in the advancement of our species, hereby proving that, we at FOX, are simply trying to preserve humanity at our own expense." -- Public Relations Memo, FOX Headquarters for Product Development and Termination

(originally suppressed before Firefly aired, but inevitably released upon the airing of the lost 15th episode...you did see the 15th episode, didn't you?)

Cilantro!
TCM



Uh....
Yeah, what he said.
And 'cause uh... FOX is DUMB!


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Monday, November 15, 2004 5:39 PM

DARKJESTER


TenthCrewMember wrote:

Quote:

Single-line, fictional response as to why Firefly was cancelled...

"In response to why we, at FOX, cancel quality programming, we can only point out that if people watched only good TV, there would be millions of dollars wasted on all the programming they didn't watch, so if we prevent good TV from perpetuating, we can keep thousands of poor actors, carpenters, caterers, set workers, executive secretarties, etcetera, gainfully employed and the audiences will eventually find that 'good TV' is just that TV which is less bad, such as the reality TV, thereby allowing us to continue to put millions of dollars into programming, that isn't worth the film it is printed on, thus preventing an economic backslide, caused by the failure of the television entertainment industry, which would inevitably lead to the downfall of mankind as people desperately try to fill the void of television with random violence, self-mutilation, and geese juggling, none of which has any social merit in the advancement of our species, hereby proving that, we at FOX, are simply trying to preserve humanity at our own expense." -- Public Relations Memo, FOX Headquarters for Product Development and Termination



Additionally, there was no character named 'Julia', which means the show was double-plus ungood!
-- Public Relations Memo, FOX Headquarters for Product Development and Termination, addendum

MAL "You only gotta scare him."
JAYNE "Pain is scary..."

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Monday, November 15, 2004 5:58 PM

MOOSE


Quote:

Originally posted by Professor:
OK, the real question is how did Firefly get cancelled after 1/2 season but "The Simple Life" is starting season 3.



Please tell me that's a joke....

Gorram FOX!!!!


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Monday, November 15, 2004 6:27 PM

TENTHCREWMEMBER

Could you please just make it stranger? Stranger. Odder. Could be weirder. More bizarre. How about uncanny?


Quote:

Originally posted by Moose:
Quote:

Originally posted by Professor:
OK, the real question is how did Firefly get cancelled after 1/2 season but "The Simple Life" is starting season 3.



Please tell me that's a joke....



Nope. It is real. Suffice to say, truth is always stranger than fiction, especially where the at F*X are comcerned.

Cilantro!
TCM

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Show your Browncoat pride! I have original (meaning: designed by me!)
T-shirts, posters, mugs and more for sale at
http://www.zazzle.com/contributors/home/default.asp?cid=23847914695881
5760

AND
http://www.cafepress.com/10thcrew

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Monday, November 15, 2004 6:48 PM

BRUISERSMOM


Because Sean Maher didn't take his shirt off early enough!

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Monday, November 15, 2004 7:28 PM

INEVITABLEBETRAYAL


Quote:

Originally posted by Stillshiny:
Book - "Back to hell you vile demon!!" (takes Vera from Jayne and makes a bloody spectacle of the gungan)



Now that I would pay to see.

_______________________________________________
I wish I had a magical wish-granting plank.

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Monday, November 15, 2004 7:38 PM

STIZO


*stands up*

Ahem.

Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury,
I, the prosecution, am here to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that the defendant, the Fox Broadcasting Company, did in fact cancel the television series "Firefly" because they knew I enjoyed watching it.

I offer to you six, concrete pieces of evidence that prove this malicious and evil plot put in effect by them to deprive me of any quality television shows to watch:

Exhibit A: The television series “Titus”. I enjoyed the dysfunctional and demented brand of humor displayed in this show, and subsequently it was canceled much too soon after three seasons.

Exhibit B: The series “Dark Angel”. Once again, I did enjoy this show, and it was again, canceled by the defendant after only two seasons. However, the prosecution is willing to admit that after the “lameness” of the second season, it deserved it. Though it is believed that said “lameness” was the result of the defendant’s tampering with the show.

Exhibit C: The series in question. It was greatly enjoyed, and ranked as one of the all time favorites by the prosecution. Thus following their evil plot, it was canceled after only eleven episodes. Thus, according to the rules of baseball, three strikes, and I’m apparently “out”.

Exhibit D: Reality Shows. These are not enjoyed in any form by the prosecution, and are viewed as the lowest form of entertainment possible. Once again, proof that the defendant is hell-bent on removing quality television from existence. The prosecution requests that from now on the defendant refers to itself as Annoying Reality Show Entertainment, or “ARSE”.

Exhibits E & F: The shows: “The Simple Life” and “Trading Spouses”. Once again, an insult to all humanity and life as we know it.

Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury, I implore you, are these not the actions of a corporation whose sole purpose is to destroy quality television?

The prosecution rests your Honor.

*sits down*

(Okay, I know that doesn't qualify as single sentence, or being fictional, but it was clean, and I found it highly entertaining and I hope it gives a few of you a smile or two. If not, I apologize for the length of the post.)

----------------------------------------------
Conquering the galaxy with terrifying space monkeys, one ship at a time...

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Monday, November 15, 2004 7:44 PM

ALUCARD


Because fox doesn't like good ratings.

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Tuesday, November 16, 2004 5:52 AM

CYBERSNARK


JOSS: Why'd you go and cancel my show?

FOX EXEC: We didn't like it is why. Thought it was, what's the word. . .

TIM: Pretentious?

*Joss glares*

EXEC: Yeah, that's it, pretentious. It thought it was better then other shows.

JOSS: Just the shows it's better than.

-----
We applied the cortical electrodes but were unable to get a neural reaction from either patient.

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Sunday, November 21, 2004 12:37 AM

MYNAMEISJONAS



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