OTHER SCIENCE FICTION SERIES

Joss bids on Terminator rights....

POSTED BY: STORYMARK
UPDATED: Thursday, November 5, 2009 13:15
SHORT URL: http://goo.gl/mqyDL
VIEWED: 5557
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Monday, November 2, 2009 11:23 AM

STORYMARK


....sorta:

Quote:

An Open Letter to the Terminator Owners. From a Very Important Hollywood Mogul

Dear Sirs/Ma'ams,

I am Joss Whedon, the mastermind behind Titan A.E., Parenthood (not the movie) (or the new series) (or the one where 'hood' was capitalized 'cause it was a pun), and myriad other legendary tales. I have heard through the 'grapevine' that the Terminator franchise is for sale, and I am prepared to make a pre-emptive bid RIGHT NOW to wrap this dealio up. This is not a joke, this is not a scam, this is not available on TV. I will write a check TODAY for $10,000, and viola! Terminator off your hands.

No, you didn't miscount. That's four -- FOUR! -- zeroes after that one. That's to show you I mean business. And I mean show business. Nikki Finke says the Terminator concept is played. Well, here's what I have to say to Nikki Finke: you are a fine journalist and please don't ever notice me. The Terminator story is as formative and important in our culture -- and my pretend play -- as any I can think of. It's far from over. And before you Terminator-Owners (I have trouble remembering names) rush to cash that sweet cheque, let me give you a taste of what I could do with that franchise:

1) Terminator... of the Rings! Yeah, what if he time-travelled TOO far... back to when there was dragons and wizards? (I think it was the Dark Ages.) Hasta La Vista, Boramir! Cool, huh? "Now you gonna be Gandalf the Red!" RRRRIP! But then he totally helps, because he's a cyborg and he doesn't give a s#&% about the ring -- it has no power over him! And he can carry it AND Frodo AND Sam AND f@%& up some orcs while he's doing it. This stuff just comes to me. I mean it. (I will also offer $10,000 for the Lord of the Rings franchise).

2) More Glau. Hey. There's a reason they're called "Summer" movies.

3) Can you say... musical? Well don't. Even I know that's an awful idea.

4) Christian Bale's John Connor will get a throat lozenge. This will also help his Batwork (ten grand for that franchise too, btw.)

5) More porn. John Connor never told Kyle Reese this, but his main objective in going to the past was to get some. What if there's a lot of future-babies that have to be made? Cue wah-wah pedal guitar -- and dollar signs!

6) The movies will stop getting less cool.

Okay. There's more -- this brain don't quit! (though it has occasionally been fired) -- but I think you get my drift. I really believe the Terminator franchise has only begun to plumb the depths of questioning the human condition during awesome stunts, and I'd like to shepherd it through the next phase. The money is there, but more importantly, the heart is there. But more importantly, money. Think about it. End this bloody bidding war before it begins, and put the Terminator in the hands of someone who watched the first one more than any other movie in college, including "Song of Norway" (no current franchise offer).

Sincerely, Joss Whedon.



"I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him."

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Monday, November 2, 2009 11:31 AM

BYTEMITE


Classic funny. All six of the reasons he gives are jokes, then sincerity in the last paragraph. He wants it because he loves the first movie; we'll cross our fingers for you, man.

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Monday, November 2, 2009 11:34 AM

PDCHARLES

What happened? He see your face?


comedy gold as usual


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Monday, November 2, 2009 12:25 PM

ZEEK


First movie? The first one pales in comparison to the second movie. If Joss wants terminator back to its B movie roots I say no thanks.

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Monday, November 2, 2009 12:28 PM

STORYMARK


In production quality sure - because it had a hell of a lot more money (being the most expensive movie ever, in the day).

But in terms of concept and ideas, T2 is pretty much a wholesale rehash of the first.

"I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him."

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Monday, November 2, 2009 1:43 PM

ZEEK


Quote:

Originally posted by Storymark:
T2 is pretty much a wholesale rehash of the first.


Except now there's actual fight scenes rather than all running. They also don't have any BS about a person from the future fathering someone who has to exist to send his father back through time. Remove that stuff and the special effects and you're left with the same B movie as the first one.

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Monday, November 2, 2009 4:10 PM

OPTIMUS1998


Quote:

Originally posted by Zeek:
First movie? The first one pales in comparison to the second movie. If Joss wants terminator back to its B movie roots I say no thanks.



ok, well read the rest of the sentence, "watched the first movie more than any other in college", etc.

with a quick check of wikipedia, & IMDB to double check my dates,

Joss Graduated from Wesleyan University in 1987, T2 came out in 1991.

therefore, regardless of quality differences between the 2 movies, when He was in College, there was just the one.

Make Cartoons, Not War
- Sue Blu
Once, while having sex in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.

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Monday, November 2, 2009 4:45 PM

RAHLMACLAREN

"Damn yokels, can't even tell a transport ship ain't got no guns on it." - Jayne Cobb


That's the 2nd funniest damn thing I read today.

It would've been #1 if I didn't a headache caused by watching Heroes. Ugh...

On that note: What happened to Eliazbeth Rohm? I could barely recognize her. That's BAD.


--------------------------------------------------
Find here the Serenity you seek. -Tara Maclay

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Monday, November 2, 2009 10:38 PM

N0IR


I think this sums up why I love Joss. Rarely fails to make my laugh. Never, actualy


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Wednesday, November 4, 2009 5:35 PM

JAMERON4EVA


TERMINATOR IS OWNED PURLY BY THE GOD JAMES CAMERON. I LIKE JOSS ALOT, BUT DID JOSS DO ALIENS, INVENT THE TERMINATOR SERIES, MAKE ABYSS, CREATE CULT GOD DARK ANGEL, AND ALL OF BIG THINGS HE'S DONE? NO! BY FR THE TWO BEST MOVIE MAKERS IN THE INDUSTRY ARE STILL GEORGE LUCAS, AND JAMES CAMERON. GEORGE CREATED ALL OF THE GOODIES WE USE TODAY, YES HE DID, NEED I SAY PIXAR, INDUSTRIAL LIGHT AND MAGIC, WHICH BY THE WAY RUNS ALL OF THE MOVIES IN AMERICA, ALL OF THEM HAVE THE ILM LOGO, AND THX. JAMES CAMERON REINVENTED HOW THEIR USED, AND HOW THE STORYLINE FILLS IN THE GAPS. THESE ARE THE RULERS OF MOVIE MAKING, ALONG WITH DIRECTORS LIKE GEROGE A. RAMERO, AND DIRECTORIAL GOD STEVEN SPEILBERG.

"Mom, he has her chip. He has her."
John Connor,"Born To Run", TSCC EP 2x22

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Wednesday, November 4, 2009 9:22 PM

BIGRICHARD


lay off the caps once in a while, I think you'll find it gets your point across better.

But I do like James Cameron, although I think he's had his go in the Terminator universe, and it would be interesting to see someone else take a shot.

And as brilliant as it is that Lucas created Star Wars....I do not believe in any way that he is one of the best movie makers in the industry.

Also, George Lucas didn't own 'Pixar' as it's known today. In face, when he owned it, it wasn't called Pixar. Steve Jobs has been the one to own it since before the Luxo Jr. short which began Pixar's endeavour into animated films.

Anyway, I'll be interested to see where the Terminator franchise goes, hopefully they'll get someone new to do a film that is more of a worthy sequel to 1 and 2.

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Thursday, November 5, 2009 8:06 AM

JAMERON4EVA


Quote:

Originally posted by BigRichard:
lay off the caps once in a while, I think you'll find it gets your point across better.

But I do like James Cameron, although I think he's had his go in the Terminator universe, and it would be interesting to see someone else take a shot.

And as brilliant as it is that Lucas created Star Wars....I do not believe in any way that he is one of the best movie makers in the industry.

Also, George Lucas didn't own 'Pixar' as it's known today. In face, when he owned it, it wasn't called Pixar. Steve Jobs has been the one to own it since before the Luxo Jr. short which began Pixar's endeavour into animated films.

Anyway, I'll be interested to see where the Terminator franchise goes, hopefully they'll get someone new to do a film that is more of a worthy sequel to 1 and 2.




The worthy sequal to T-1, and T-2, was TSCC. And as always FOX chose to frack all of us.

"Mom, he has her chip. He has her."
John Connor,"Born To Run", TSCC EP 2x22

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Thursday, November 5, 2009 9:04 AM

STORYMARK


Everything since T2 has been weak. All have had their moments, but they've all been rather fatally flawed, as well.

"I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him."

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Thursday, November 5, 2009 10:24 AM

BIGRICHARD


got to agree with Storymark, I've enjoyed bits of each, but ultimately, T-1 and T-2 was where it was best.

TSCC was good, but not consistently great.

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Thursday, November 5, 2009 11:26 AM

JAMERON4EVA


Do not agree with that, THE ONLY THING AFTER T-2 THAT SUCKED WAS T-3.

"Mom, he has her chip. He has her."
John Connor,"Born To Run", TSCC EP 2x22

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Thursday, November 5, 2009 1:15 PM

STORYMARK


Salvation had some cool action, but sucked hard story wise. T3 wasn't great, but at least it made some sense. Salvation had plot holes you could walk a giant robot through, on top of generally poor writing.

TSCC had some pretty good stuff, but it also abandoned storylines halfway, and spent long meandering stretches pointlessly pursuing three fraking dots.

"I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him."

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