Funny Review from Someone who didn't get the show at all.

UPDATED: Friday, April 14, 2006 08:48
VIEWED: 7955
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Tuesday, November 1, 2005 6:13 AM


I found this user review on the Amazon site. I was just shaking my head at the ridiculousness of what he thinks the series faults were. I'll bold out my favorites.


Somewhat Enjoyable But Ultimately Weak Series, October 14, 2005
Reviewer: Mark Moore (Homosassa, Florida, USA) - See all my reviews
Buffy The Vampire Slayer" started in early 1997. It was created by Joss Whedon as a sequel to his 1992 movie of the same name. However, according to Joss, the movie's script had been heavily rewritten prior to filming. The series is a sequel to his original script, not the finalized movie, so, if you've seen the movie, there are some changes that you're going to have to get used to. If you haven't seen the movie, then there's no need to see it to understand the series.

The series starts with Buffy Sommers, a teenager, moving from L.A. to a small town called Sunnydale with her mom, Joyce. Buffy's got a secret: she's a Slayer. She hunts and kills vampires to keep the world (or more often just her neighborhood) safe. Every time that a Slayer dies, a new Slayer is called. Buffy's school librarian, Rupert Giles, is her designated Watcher. The Watchers train the Slayers. Buffy learns that Sunnydale sits on top of the Hellmouth, sort of the nexus of evil in the world or something like that. Buffy soon forms a group of friends that help her in their own way. I'll give you a rundown of the major developments and Big Bads (main villains) that Buffy ultimately fights in each season:

1: Sophomore Year: The Master (a vampire)

2: Junior Year: Spike and Drucilla (vampires); Spike later gets his soul back and becomes (somewhat) good

3: Senior Year: The Mayor (a human turned immortal turned dragon); Sunnydale High School is destroyed

4: College Freshman Year: Adam (a type of Frankenstein's Monster)

5: College Sophomore Year: Glory (a valley girl God); Buffy gains a sister, Dawn; Joyce dies; Buffy dies

6: Three nerds and Buffy's friend, Willow, who had turned evil; Buffy is brought back to life but doesn't confront her; her friend, Xander, does and brings her back to the side of good

7: A minister named Caleb and then the entire Hellmouth; Sunnydale is destroyed; all potential Slayers become true Slayers, making Faith and Buffy nobody special; all of the important characters and Willow survive

This series is okay, but I've got numerous problems with it:

1) Sex - All of the characters have sex at one point or another. It's done rather freely with no thought to the consequences of pregnancy or STDs. This is a bad message for children.

2) Buffy dies temporarily in Season 1 and is brought back to life by Xander through CPR. In Season 2, a new Slayer shows up. She's killed, and a new Slayer, Faith, shows up. Faith is the true Slayer. Buffy isn't, but she still has Slayer powers. Basically, by Season 2, the series' title was no longer accurate.

3) Shoddy vampire physics - In this series, vampires immediately turn to dust when staked. This was probably done to avoid gore, but it's still dumb. What's worse is that the vampires' clothes turn to dust as well. Why? The vampires are harmed and killed by sunlight. This is not part of any vampire mythology.(what vampire myths is he reading?) Vampires don't cast reflections. This makes no sense at all. The origin of this myth is the idea that the reflection is of the soul, which vampires were thought to not have. On Buffy, vampires don't have souls, and they don't cast reflections, but they can still be video-taped and photographed. Also, Angel, a vampire that had his soul restored, doesn't cast a reflection either. Vampires on Buffy also have these weird foreheads whenever they "vamp out" (bear fangs). It looks ugly.

4) Humor - While the humor on Buffy is often very clever and funny, there's also a lot of sexual humor, which gets annoying after a while.

5) Buffy The Everything Slayer - It's not enough for Buffy to kill just vampires; she goes up against witches, demons, dragons, gods, etc. It doesn't stay true to the title of the series.

6) Angst - This started out as a WB series, so this was probably unavoidable. You'd expect a series called "Buffy The Vampire Slayer" to be fun to watch, like the movie is.

7) Sunnydale - It sits on the Hellmouth. Murders happen there all of the time. There are constant vampire attacks. One year, the high school actually boasted to having the lowest annual death toll in recent history. Why is the local populace completely unaware that Something Strange is going on in town? Why doesn't the FBI come in to investigate?

8) Made-up mythology - The world has plenty of real mythologies that the series could have used. It did use some, but the writers often made stuff up. This gives the series a false feeling. It would have been great if the writers had chosen to educate the audience about the world's many different vampire myths as well as entertain, but they didn't.

9) Sarah Michelle Gellar is too short and scrawny as Buffy. In the original movie, Kristy Swanson was better built and more believable as a Slayer. While having some special abilities, she fought vampires with her own strength. In the series, Buffy gets her super-strength from her Slayer powers, which is a cheap explanation.

The series has many supporters that love it for its witty humor and Joss' "clever" way of turning the traditional "helpless blonde girl" into the heroine, and they overlook/forgive the series' many faults. Let's not give Joss Whedon too much credit.

I admit that I watched this series from day 1 through the series finale. I can't imagine myself buying this series on DVD - until I got it used, very cheap. Starting with Season 4, Buffy had crossovers with its spin-off series, "Angel". This means that you won't get the entire story of some episodes unless you buy the "Angel" boxed sets as well. The series is not even the way that it originally aired. There are scenes missing and added; there are audio alterations. Rent it and try it out before you decide to buy it.

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Tuesday, November 1, 2005 6:53 AM


Wow, that is ridiculous (and funny in the mocking sense). The only truly valid complain he has is that with the death and mayhem in Sunnydale there should be more people asking questions as to what the hell is going on there.

Everything other complaint is simply downright false or dumb. That was a good laugh, thank you. :)


Tuesday, November 1, 2005 7:50 AM


That writer is an actual, factual moron.

"The title was no longer accurate" Hahahahaha!


Tuesday, November 1, 2005 7:58 AM



Originally posted by Lovok:
[with the death and mayhem in Sunnydale there should be more people asking questions as to what the hell is going on there.

Yeah, you'd think, but usually people just see what they want to see.


Tuesday, November 1, 2005 8:15 AM


yeah so much sexual humour! tch! Sex should never be funny and this sort of disgusting and perverted behaviour just encourages kids to enjoy themselves and answer back - this Mr Whedon must be stopped!!


Okay, I'm lost, I'm angry, and I'm


Thursday, November 3, 2005 5:49 PM


First thing I've got to say is, Way to go with spoilers for the entire show!

Second: I was trying to figure out why I couldn't take this guy seriously, and then finally it hit me: he's criticizing the show for not living up to the movie! ...There, that's an example of his taste. I have the sudden urge to go out and buy anything he trashes.

Also, he has some odd expectations of realism from a show about a bunch of teenagers in California fighting vampires they recognize by their fashion sense.

Early: Where'd she go?

Simon: I can't keep track of her when she's NOT incorporeally possessing a spaceship, don't look at me --


Tuesday, November 8, 2005 5:40 PM


Boy howdy, someone's lost the clue bag but good. he kinda sounds like my brother.


1) Sex - All of the characters have sex at one point or another. It's done rather freely with no thought to the consequences of pregnancy or STDs. This is a bad message for children.

Hmmm...that's not what I remember. Let's see, Buffy has sex with Angel, and he gets all evil and stalkery and this wasn't a Bad Thing? What planet is this guy from?

And then, hey, she has sex with Parker the user-loser, who was just wanting a bedroom trophy and dumped her like a sack of potatoes. This was apparently not a bad thing.

And the bad magick sex-marathon thingy with Riley that fed the bad kid ghosts wasn't bad then either, huh?

And now the pregnancy thing. Funny, but I remember Cordy having sex three times (okay, this was on Angel but still in the Buffyverse) and two of them she ended up pregnant with hell-spawn. This wasn't a bad consequence? Wow, I'd hate to see what this person does consider a bad consequence.

Join the few. The clueless. The spoiler-free.


Tuesday, November 8, 2005 8:42 PM


You see, this is why some people shouldn't be taught to read and right: to save the rest of us the hell of reading something so idiotic. Anyone else want to pop this guy's sex and morality bubble?

"We will rule over all this land, and we will call it... 'This Land'."


Wednesday, November 9, 2005 8:14 AM


Wow. Lol. This reminds me of a bad Serenity review I read where a guy ACTUALLY said that Into the Blue had a much more interesting premise. Some people juggle geese I guess. And sex has nothing to do with real life at all. Oh no.

I give to you the Seeker of Serenity, the Valkyrie Warrior, the Gourmet Cook and the Truth Scoper.


Sunday, February 26, 2006 8:08 AM


While that review is ridiculous, the third part ("Shoddy vampire physics") does make some very good points.


Saturday, March 4, 2006 5:11 PM


Alrighty then. Am i the only one who thinks this guy is jsut crazy and begging to be hit? No? Good. First off lets begin with the sex. I believe that has been covered very well. Also anyone who lets little kids watch this is stupid and at fault. Those of us who do watch it know better than to go out and screw someone. We know there are consequences. I think the only things he had to say that even had a tiny bit of intelligance was the weird freaky stuff going on with no one notices and the vampire stuff. Then again as someone said, people see what they want to see. I must agree though that the sudden dusting is bull but then again it just makes the story line easier if they dissappear and don't have to worry about the body. As for the sunlight i have read a million books with vampires who couldn't walk in the sun, many of them that occured before Buffy so blah to that. Thanks so very much for posting this though. It has made my day to see the stupidity of the people who feel like they must comment on things they don't like. If you are going to spend so much time insulting something then i think you are in dire need of a life.

Without Rules, Chaos. With Chaos Life


Friday, March 10, 2006 3:17 AM


I once read a really dumb review of the final episode. The reviewer said that at the end all the characters stand around smiling and not even caring that the entire population of their town is dead...?

If you're gonna review the final episode of a series you should at least have seen the other episodes. Even more so in a show which has lots of plot threads running all the time. As we all know, the people of Sunnydale all left a few episodes previous. Duh!


Friday, March 10, 2006 8:53 AM


Oh my gosh! This guy is right, it does suck. All these people should immediately stop watching Buffy on their numerous different DVD sets and shoudl stop clamoring for movies about other characters and should stop watching Angel too and should stop having conventions dedicated to both. I mean, clearly the show has no real appeal. It should only stick closely with the title, just like Commander in Chief should only be about the president, or Married: With Children should only be about married people, or Walker: Texas Ranger should only be about Texas Rangers with mobility impediments.

What a dumbass.

Leaning into the wind that used to carry me-Stavesacre


Friday, March 10, 2006 9:06 AM


Aw dammit, I thought he said Faith showed up in season two and I just wrote out a paragraph complaining about how she didn't, that there was another Slayer before her, but I see he did not make the mistake I accused him of.

However, I will now make fun of his idiocy regarding sex:



Saturday, March 18, 2006 7:16 AM



The vampires are harmed and killed by sunlight. This is not part of any vampire mythology.(what vampire myths is he reading?)

That one just kills me lol. I think every thing I've seen related to vampires has at least some negative effect when vampires are exposed to sunlight. Hell, in Blade they're harmed by UV lights lol.

"Haha, mine is an evil laugh."


Sunday, March 19, 2006 9:24 AM



Originally posted by queenofthenorth:
Wow. Lol. This reminds me of a bad Serenity review I read where a guy ACTUALLY said that Into the Blue had a much more interesting premise. Some people juggle geese I guess. And sex has nothing to do with real life at all. Oh no.

I give to you the Seeker of Serenity, the Valkyrie Warrior, the Gourmet Cook and the Truth Scoper.

You'll have to show me this review.


Monday, March 20, 2006 7:31 PM


Hmmm, so he's concerned about all the "unreal" qualities of the show, a show about a girl in California who fights vampires. Why did he even watch it in teh first place?!?!?!?!?!


Friday, April 14, 2006 8:48 AM


Yep, let's just rest on the fact this guy is a boob. He has his right to his own opinion, but he should look up the definition of a good argument.

"I aim to misbehave."
"Can't do something smart, do something right".

HOMER: "Oh Lisa, you and your stories; Bart is a vampire, beer kills brain cells. Now lets go back to that... building thingy... where our beds and T.V.... is".






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