SERVANTOFKUSHIEL'S BLOG
Poem 1....Please be gentle.
Monday, May 1, 2006 6:01 AM
So sorry to see you here as wellLost in your mindlessness, zombified
Just swim through your every day, okay
And cut your puppet strings on the other side
Because today we are mass produced
Blow up dolls in all shapes and sizes
All mediocrity with no suprises
And our canned laugher echos through
Our pretty, pretty model A houses
Clinging to the arm of our Ken doll
We make them our Type B spouses
Don't let them hear you say it's not okay
See, we were all meant to live this way.
I am very shy about letting people read my poetry. I came from a small town and was different, so when people read my stuff, well....lets just say some were a little mean. One girl said, " Uhhhh... Do you really feel this way?" Read that with a snobby little attitude. That's how she said it. So, constructive things, good. Just posting to be mean.....not so good.
COMMENTS: 6
Comments
Monday, 01 May 2006 07:14
That is actually quite good. Not just blowin' smoke up yer pi-gu, either. I'm a prose / poetry / fiction writer myself...
Any decent college writing instructor would recognize the level of quality imbued therein. Shinyified. Don't let Gorram po-dunks tell you otherwise.
In the realm of well-constructed poetry / prose, you've got skills.
--MAGhaffar
Any decent college writing instructor would recognize the level of quality imbued therein. Shinyified. Don't let Gorram po-dunks tell you otherwise.
In the realm of well-constructed poetry / prose, you've got skills.
--MAGhaffar
Monday, 01 May 2006 09:49
I like it. Some really good imagery, and the tone and rhythm is carried off very well.
Monday, 01 May 2006 15:03
I don't know much about poetry, but I liked that. Nice cadence to it, rhythm and all that. :)
And never let the nay-sayers get you down. (Think Mal would let some snotty little girl talk bad about his poetry? :)
And never let the nay-sayers get you down. (Think Mal would let some snotty little girl talk bad about his poetry? :)
Monday, 01 May 2006 15:39
Servant
Excellant poem from the excellent you! Don't listen to the naysayers - its jealousy! When they say something mean or hurtful, see if for the affirmation that it is. You are doing something right, and you are talented - they know it and it kills them!
Excellant poem from the excellent you! Don't listen to the naysayers - its jealousy! When they say something mean or hurtful, see if for the affirmation that it is. You are doing something right, and you are talented - they know it and it kills them!
Monday, 01 May 2006 22:56
I like it. I know how you feel.
If anyone cuts you down for expressing yourself, just be glad you aren't like them.
If anyone cuts you down for expressing yourself, just be glad you aren't like them.
Tuesday, 02 May 2006 01:55
Unfortunatly, what you posted is how many people feel they have to be in order to be accepted, because they don't want to be different. Personally, I'm all for different considering how boring life would be if we were all exact duplicates of each other. As for the jealousy, she said it because no matter what she does in her life, she knows that it will never touch people's hearts and minds like your poetry.
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