RHYIANAN'S BLOG
RHYIANAN

Not alone

Friday, March 30, 2007 3:15 PM

I'm socially retarded. I don't know how to deal with other people. Put me in a room with people I don't know and I turn into the quiet little thing in the corner who watches and listens to everything, but doesn't quite join in. My closest (and pretty much only) friends say that I close myself off from other people, that it's like there's a wall around me until I become comfortable enough to show my true self.

But I don't know that I'm doing it, I don't know how to stop, so I end up lonely. It's close to the end of my second year of college, and I still have no friends here. Sure, I have aquaintances that I talk to when I see them, but nobody to truly hang out with and go have fun. Because of that, my birthday last year was spent alone, the only celebratory part being the cake I baked and deocorated myself, yet had nobody to share it with.

But this year is different. I went downstairs this morning and one of my roommates had written "Happy 21st Birthday (insert my name here)" on our message board in the kitchen. It's a little thing, but I don't feel alone because she cared enough to do that. My birthday is special again, in a way that it hasn't been in a while.

COMMENTS: 6

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Comments
MSG
Friday, 30 March 2007 15:20
OK so reading between the lines...Happy Birthday gorgeous!!! Now get out there and have a great day!
Friday, 30 March 2007 16:36
Happy Birthday!

And don't worry: Browncoats are never alone.
Friday, 30 March 2007 19:51
(writes Happy Birthday Rhyianan on the back of his hand)
Don't fret. Birthdays do that to alot of folks. And if there is no one interesting around to talk to then it ain't your fault.
And start working on that comfort zone. You're in college. Live the life some are never afforded.
Happy Birthday!
Saturday, 31 March 2007 00:45
Happy Birthday! Don't be too hard on yourself: it's not the number of friends that counts, it's the quality of your friends. It's nice that your roommate thought of you. May the rest of your year be just as special.
Saturday, 31 March 2007 02:34
I know where you're coming from...it takes me a while to show people my true self, too.
Trust yourself, you may just be better with other people than you think, often taking the chance can be very rewarding. Quite often other people are feeling just as anxious or apprehensive as you about talking to new people, some people are just really good at hiding it. I tend to find that if you show others you are interested and listening than they will be interested and listen right back...
Glad your birthday feels special for you again. You ARE special, remember that always.
Like Cybersnake said: Browncoats are never alone.
Art.
Saturday, 31 March 2007 03:34
Well, first, gotta wish you a "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Then, I have to electronically send a bunch of huggles to help prove you are not alone and you got lots of friends. An entire fan community's worth:D

Finally, concerning the social situations? Picture the wall around you and then pretend there's a chink (a la Pyramus and Thisbe from the play-within-a-play in 'A Midsummer Night's Dream'). Pick someone who isn't engaged in convo and start talking through the "chink." You got the wall still, but you're getting to know them and the wall will start crumbling;D

BEB

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