Blue Sun Room FICTION - GENERAL

Back Stories III, Chapter 21

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

The battle with the Reavers continues, and Mal makes a choice. All decisions have consequences.

CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 4876    RATING: 10.0 (G)    SERIES: FIREFLY

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Back Stories Book 3

Chapter 21.

Disclaimer:

It belongs to Joss and all those business people. I'm just playing.

Links:

, ,

, BS Book II, BS Book III, Chapter 1.

Timing, pairings, and canon blurbs are in my .

Many thanks to desertgirl for the beta read.

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Zoë, Wash, Malcolm, and Inara made quick use of the back door of the gift shop, throwing down heavily laden wooden shelves in the stockroom behind them as they passed. This gained them a few precious seconds, and they made it out of the building and into heavy brush before their pursuit broke into the open behind them.

They ran on, Zoë leading, Wash in the rear, for at least a hundred meters westward up the valley before stopping behind a large red-gold rock that seemed to spring right out of the ground. Zoë pushed the others behind her and waited, catching her breath, her rifle in her hands, her carbine ready on her hip.

“They comin”?” Malcolm asked in a whisper. “Those Reavers comin’ for us?”

Zoë shook her head. “They’re out there, though. I hear `em. They’re looking for us.” Her eyes and ears followed distant rustlings in the trees and she wrinkled her nose in disgust. “I take that back—I think they’re sniffing for us.”

“Caverns,” Wash said, and he nodded toward the small, burbling creek that passed a little further along their path. The cave’s entrance was just up t

Comments
Tuesday, 23 November 2010 00:30
Whew! That took some time to edit. It's just a long damned chapter. I really hadn't thought it was so long when I wrote it! But while editing I was like - really? All this has happened and there's still five pages to go?

Some work to do still on the next few chapters. But believe it or not, the end isn't far...
Tuesday, 23 November 2010 10:12
That's quite the twist.

I can't decide whether I love it or am befuddled, that Zoe managed to basically talk Mal out of his disorder, however temporarily. This would imply it's much, much more voluntary, consciously steered than I previously thought. Basically, Mal is much closer to the surface and much more aware of what all he pushes away, even subconsciously, methinks.

Very interesting. Not that this implies "blame" but he certainly is almost willingly impaired, if you will.

I like how the insanity of all this violence is reflected in Inara, and while Mal (and Zoe) never show any consideration for the feelings of others when in fight-mode, the contrast to Mal's pre-shift panic and his post-fight lock-down imply that he is not loving it in a thrill-seeking way. His emotional reaction must be much closer to what Inara is feeling but he has completely blocked out trying to deal with it. Methinks this experience of previous innocence, of his own horror, will actually help him long-term. I wonder if Zoe has such an access to her own emotions.

Anyway, very curious to see the next chapter and how this mess will play out. With the reduced crew (for now) another (self-righteous?) Zoe confrontation with Inara might seem inevitable?
Tuesday, 23 November 2010 13:58
Wow, now I see the set up lines you gave to Simon that said Mal would heal mentally if he didn't get exposed to any more stress. Well, I think he blew that in spades. Loved your dramatic twists of reaver destruction, and glad Mal got to be a hero for all with grenades no less! You opened up Pandora's box of introspection on self loathing for those who have survived doing and seeing horrible things, and Mal's quotient of "survivor's guilt was pretty high in the series. Masterfully done - looking forward to more!
Tuesday, 23 November 2010 16:52
I'm kinda like AR here, only more so.

I can see what you were doing here with Blank Mal at the end, you were trying to subvert Amnesia is Cheap by showing there's a nasty price for Zoe forcing Mal to come back. I can also tell this is a plot point you were planning for, so you have somewhere interesting in mind to take Blank Mal.

I'm really, really bothered by what Zoe did. And I guess I kind of expected kid Mal to show his innate rascalliness that got him through the war could shine through here, too. I'm also wondering why neither kid Mal and Zoe were able to figure out the fuel explosion thing. I'd have thought that would be something both of them would be capable of coming up with.

Well, anyway. I guess all I can do is see what happens next.
Tuesday, 23 November 2010 21:40
Great chapter which plays with the duality of Mal and Malcolm realistically without seeming forced because you created a situation where Sergeant Mal was needed, but at a cost to his overall mental state.

I like how curt “Mal” became with Inara once he’s in his leadership role and how he let her know there was no time for sympathy, until the fighting is over.

I don’t blame Zoe for what she did; it was needed because things were dire. I do feel sorry for Inara, though, she would have taken Mal either way, but now that there is nothing left…hmm…I’m not sure even with her highly trained skills she could bring any part of him back.

Hopefully, she’s up for a challenge.
Monday, 29 November 2010 16:42
You have a knack for writing action. Not too much description, no superheroes, I tip my hat to you.

Another fine chapter!

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