The NEW Faster Loading Treehouse

POSTED BY: Malicious
UPDATED: Saturday, January 15, 2005 20:09
VIEWED: 27020
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EBONEZER

Sunday, January 2, 2005 4:59 AM (P)

*Ebo bounces in*

I'm here! Party can start now!

...

Hello?

Gorram traffic. I missed the whole damn thing...Anyone even notice that I, the mighty ebonezer, was even gone?

-----------------------------------

Four out of five gynecologists recommend calling Ebo a girl.

SIMONWHO

Sunday, January 2, 2005 12:09 PM (P)

*wakes up drunkenly*

Waazat? Ebo? Wha...

*pulls self together*

I mean, of course we missed you ebo but you were with us in spirit. Witness the life size effigy we constructed of you. Shiny, no

MALICIOUS

Sunday, January 2, 2005 2:36 PM (P)

That was an effigy? I thought it was HER. That's why I didn't miss her.

Mal-licious

Co-Holder of the Red Bell from Hell

EBONEZER

Sunday, January 2, 2005 4:25 PM (P)

effa-what? *finds a dictonary*

Quote:
effigy: an image or representation especially of a person...

oh ok.

Quote:
...especially a crude figure representing a hated person.

HEY!

-----------------------------------

Four out of five gynecologists recommend calling Ebo a girl.

MALICIOUS

Sunday, January 2, 2005 4:31 PM (P)

NO NO NO! A WELL-LIKED treehouse figure! Not an "F-U-igy!" Poor Ebo!

Mal-licious

Co-Holder of the Red Bell from Hell

EBONEZER

Sunday, January 2, 2005 4:34 PM (P)

Yeah! Poor Ebo indeed! I need an m&m.

Or maybe two.

there needs to be a :wallowing in misery: smily.

-----------------------------------

Four out of five gynecologists recommend calling Ebo a girl.

SIMONWHO

Sunday, January 2, 2005 7:30 PM (P)

No, no, this was an effigy of love, honest.

You're the only crude figure we want or need, there's just no good word for a lifesize doll resembling a human.

We all took turns dancing with your effigy, then worshipped you at midnight then some drunken personage who shall not be named tried to smooch it under the mistletoe.

Never mind, here, please accept these Smarties in consolation. They're akin to M&M's but no letters on them, although there are different ones on the lids to collect.

PSYCHICRIVER

Sunday, January 2, 2005 9:12 PM (P)

And Ebo, I have to confess...

I drew a Penii on your crotch.

Sorry.

PsychicRiver

"Two by two, hands of blue."
"We can take care of each other. I'll knit!"

EBONEZER

Monday, January 3, 2005 2:19 AM (P)

Penii? What the...good lord, i'm going to consult a dictionary TWISE in one day...this must be some sort of record.

Lets see here...

Quote:
The word you've entered isn't in the dictionary. Click on a spelling suggestion below or try again using the search box to the right.

*scratches head* ok, list of words:
1. penni
2. pennia
3. penny
4. peony
5. -penny
6. -penia
7. penis
8. pinna
9. pinnae
10. pina
11. pina

penni looks strikingly similar...

Quote:
Etymology: Finnish

Etym-what huh? What the?

Looking up THREE words in the dictonary is definatly an all time high.

Quote:
Etymology: The history of a linguistic form (as a word) shown by tracing its development since its earliest recorded occurrence in the language where it is found, by tracing its transmission from one language to another, by analyzing it into its component parts, by identifying its cognates in other languages, or by tracing it and its cognates to a common ancestral form in an ancestral language

*faints w/ confusion and overdose of words.*

-----------------------------------

Four out of five gynecologists recommend calling Ebo a girl.

THATWEIRDGIRL

Monday, January 3, 2005 3:03 AM (P)

*skips around the pool table tripping over SimonWho's prostrate form*

Sorry. I thought you had gotten up already. Guess I got a bit carried away, can you walk? Can I get you any asprin or water? Perhaps another drink? Who turned off the music?

*looks confusedly between the Ebo and the Almost Ebo*

Which one was I dancing with last night?

www.thatweirdgirl.com

EBONEZER

Monday, January 3, 2005 4:23 AM (P)

*Ebo gets up and wanders over to inspect, er, herself.*

This must be what going crazy feels like...

-----------------------------------

Four out of five gynecologists recommend calling Ebo a girl.

THATWEIRDGIRL

Monday, January 3, 2005 5:49 AM (P)

Quote:
Originally posted by ebonezer:
*Ebo gets up and wanders over to inspect, er, herself.*

This must be what going crazy feels like...

-----------------------------------

Four out of five gynecologists recommend calling Ebo a girl.

I think I found crazy... http://www.pbase.com/image/38209428

www.thatweirdgirl.com

EBONEZER

Monday, January 3, 2005 5:53 AM (P)

No, THATS what going crazy must feel like.

Happy new year guys! Lets do it all over again! Except with a movie! And more of the color green! And - hey look - smarties! Mine!

-----------------------------------

Four out of five gynecologists recommend calling Ebo a girl.

PSYCHICRIVER

Monday, January 3, 2005 3:04 PM (P)

Penii...the pluras of Penis. I made it up.

PsychicRiver

"Two by two, hands of blue."
"We can take care of each other. I'll knit!"

EBONEZER

Tuesday, January 4, 2005 12:16 AM (P)

Gaa! You must be the elusive 5th Gynocologist! Shock!

-----------------------------------

Four out of five gynecologists recommend calling Ebo a girl.

SIMONWHO

Tuesday, January 4, 2005 2:01 AM (P)

Oooh, that's better. My head now feels vaguely human shaped again. I was dancing till my limbs felt like loosely nailed on pieces of jelly.

Does the treehouse have an outside pool (heated, preferably) as I could well do with a dip. Anyone is welcome to join me, particularly if you play "splashy, splashy".

THATWEIRDGIRL

Tuesday, January 4, 2005 3:09 AM (P)

Quote:
Originally posted by SimonWho:
particularly if you play "splashy, splashy".

actually about to sit down to a showing of Unrepeatable. Gotta love the whole splashy, splashy thing.

www.thatweirdgirl.com

THEREALME

Wednesday, January 5, 2005 4:55 AM (P)

* A bright spot of light appears on one wall of the tree house. It expands, to reveal a dark void. An arm sticks out of this hole in reality. The Real Me’s voice can be heard, echoing dimly: *

Sparky! A pool cue! Quickly!

* The robot runs over to the pool table and retrieves a cue. He dashes back, to place the item into The Real Me’s hand. The hand pulls it back into the void. Then sounds of smacking can be heard, along with an unearthly howl. Then something cracks, and half a pool cue flies out of the void to clatter to the tree house floor. The Real Me’s voice echoes again from the void: *

DAMMIT!

* The hole in reality closes. *

The Real Me

THATWEIRDGIRL

Wednesday, January 5, 2005 5:21 AM (P)

Quick, Sparky! How do you open the portal? How!!!! The Real Me may need our help, or a nother cue.

www.thatweirdgirl.com

THEREALME

Wednesday, January 5, 2005 6:21 AM (P)

* A spot of light re-appears. A small hole in reality opens and The Real Me's hands grab each side of the hole. He pulls his head up to peek into the Treehouse. *

Um, actually, ThatWeirdGirl, opening interdimensional portals is my personal super-power. Sparky can't help. Oh, Sparky, another cue!

* The Real Me reaches his hand into the Treehouse, to take another pool cue from Sparky. *

Thanks, I really think...

* Startled, The Real Me is suddenly pulled back. There are growling sounds and more smacking as the hole closes again. *

The Real Me

EBONEZER

Wednesday, January 5, 2005 6:28 AM (P)

*Ebo jumps up on her pool table*

Ok folks! We're taken bets! Is You in an Aliance friendly bar come uni-day? Or is there a theif in their midst? (The theif of course being You, hopefully stealing more effigy's of me. But without the hate.)

-----------------------------------

Four out of five gynecologists recommend calling Ebo a girl.

THATWEIRDGIRL

Wednesday, January 5, 2005 7:38 PM (P)

Um, what's the bet?

That I'm the theif? Cause that sounds like a sure thing, ya know, fixed. I know what I'll do so it would be silly to bet me being a uni celebrator.

www.thatweirdgirl.com

MALICIOUS

Wednesday, January 5, 2005 11:27 PM (P)

I bet he is on that island on "Lost" and ran into the "thing in the jungle."

Mal-licious

Co-Holder of the Red Bell from Hell

THATWEIRDGIRL

Wednesday, January 5, 2005 11:31 PM (P)

maybe me's/i am slapping them? cattle like.

but I'm gonna go with the first one, me's hitting uni supportors over the head with cues. (please ignore my pronoun confusion)

I just sounds better than me, you know?

twg's got five green m&ms on it.

www.thatweirdgirl.com

EBONEZER

Thursday, January 6, 2005 12:33 AM (P)

Its You thats actually better then Me and I.

We've talked about this before. Get with the program.

I see your M&Ms and raise you a smartey.

-----------------------------------

Four out of five gynecologists recommend calling Ebo a girl.

EBONEZER

Thursday, January 6, 2005 12:34 AM (P)

Its You thats actually better then Me and I.

We've talked about this before. Get with the program.

I see your M&Ms and raise you a smartey.

-----------------------------------

Four out of five gynecologists recommend calling Ebo a girl.

THEREALME

Thursday, January 6, 2005 1:51 AM (P)

* A spot of light appears low on the wall of the Treehouse common room, expanding to reveal a dark void. From it, a pool cue clatters to the floor. Then out of this hole in reality crawls The Real Me. He seems battered and bruised, with several cuts on his face and forearms. His clothes are in a somewhat ragged condition, and he is missing his left shoe. Behind him, he drags a cooler. The Real Me gets himself to a sitting position, leaning on the cooler. *

Whew! Obtaining bottled Pepsimilk is getting more difficult with each trip. We might have to start mixing our own.

* The Real Me starts to undo the latch on the cooler. *

But I brought another treat! In this container I have…

* Suddenly, a purple tentacle whips from the still-open hole in reality, wrapping itself about the cooler and entering into a tug of war with The Real Me. The Real Me struggles to retrieve the nearby pool cue and then uses it to whack the tentacle several times. *

BAD MONSTER! BAD MONSTER! DOWN, BOY! NOT FOR YOU!

* An unearthly howl comes from the monster, then the tentacle releases the cooler and retreats back into the hole in reality, which promptly closes behind it. The Real Me gets to his feet, dusts himself off, and hands the pool cue to Sparky. *

Now where was I?

* The Real Me opens the cooler and rummages around inside. With a smile, he brings out some bowls. *

Look, Ebo, ICE CREAM!

* The Real Me is confused for a moment when there is no response. Then he realizes that he is speaking to the Effigy of Ebo. *

Huh! It looks just like an effigy, but without the hate.

The Real Me

EBONEZER

Thursday, January 6, 2005 2:08 AM (P)

*Ebo hops from foot to foot making squeeky noises, unable to find words to express her jubulation.*

Ice cream! Mine! eeeee!

-----------------------------------

Four out of five gynecologists recommend calling Ebo a girl.

THATWEIRDGIRL

Thursday, January 6, 2005 2:36 AM (P)

TRM, are you alright.

*Looks TRM up and down.*

Do you need to lay down and rest? I canmake you a new left shoe. It's the least I can do...risking your life just to get me some PepsiMilk.

*reclines on the floor with a bottle of pepsimilk, a bowl of sinfully yummy ice cream, and a smile*

thanks You!!!

looks like i lost the bet.

www.thatweirdgirl.com

THEREALME

Thursday, January 6, 2005 4:59 AM (P)

* The Real Me smiles at Ebo, who is still only moderately coherent, then turns to That Weird Girl. *

Oh, not to worry. Not to worry. I'm fine. And those shoes were getting worn out, anyway.

* The Real Me lays down on his back in the middle of the big rug in the center of the Treehouse common room. He closes his eyes and relaxes, almost drifting off to a restful sleep. Suddenly, his eyes open. *

Oh, right! About the ice cream! I almost forgot to mention it. It's a very special brand, you see. It always tastes like whatever your favorite flavor happens to be.

The Real Me

THATWEIRDGIRL

Thursday, January 6, 2005 5:09 AM (P)

Quote:
Originally posted by TheRealMe:
Oh, right! About the ice cream! I almost forgot to mention it. It's a very special brand, you see. It always tastes like whatever your favorite flavor happens to be.

The Real Me

you sneaky smart genius man! You have completely contented women laying all around you!

www.thatweirdgirl.com

THEREALME

Thursday, January 6, 2005 5:24 AM (P)

Quote:
Originally posted by thatweirdgirl:

you sneaky smart genius man! You have completely contented women laying all around you!

www.thatweirdgirl.com

* The Real Me smiles and shrugs. To his robot, he whispers: *

Sparky, mark off Lifetime Goal #6 for me, please. This is close enough.

The Real Me

SIMONWHO

Thursday, January 6, 2005 10:41 AM (P)

Hmm, this is odd. This ice cream tastes for me almost, but not entirely unlike tea. Its sensors might be on the blink.

I must admit I do find the words "The Real Me" slightly disconcerting in the Joss universe. On the one hand, it is the man who has been held over the edge of a volcano, Mal tortured for hours driven to the point of madness. On the other hand, it is a 14 year old girl, complaining in her diary that nobody understands her.

Still nice that our TRM escaped from that nasty other dimension. Why are there always creatures there with tentacles?

PSYCHICRIVER

Thursday, January 6, 2005 11:01 AM (P)

Ooh, thank you TRM!

*PR goes up to TRM, and looks him straight in the eye.* Your a very brave man, I sense no fear from you.

I scream, you scream, we all scream for ICE CREAM! *PsychichRiver puts some fudge-slavoured ice cream (with real fudge pieces in it!) into a bowl and sits on the floor and begins to eat. PR is chewing happily, then he suddenly stops. Staring straight at the floor, not even blinking. All is quiet, and PR continues to stare.*

EVERYBODY, GET UNDER THE POOL TABLE! - NOW!

*Everyone looks at PR, with confused expressions on their faces. PR hears murmurs of 'What?' and nobody seems to be moving.

NOW! UNDER, NOW!

*PR drops his ice scream and scrambles to his feet, runs to the other side of the room, and scrambles up Sparky and then crawls under the pool table, to take cover, holding onto Sparky. Now others are taking cover under the pool table, and more are quckly joining them.*

Annabelle! *PR shouts to his cat, who is sitting on the window-sill, looking outside*

Annabelle, come here. *Annabelle looks around at PR, the cat miaows, and jumps off the window sill and runs over to PR and nestles in his lap.*

HOLD TIGHT, EVERYONE.

*The treehouse begins to shake.*

PsychicRiver

"Two by two, hands of blue."
"We can take care of each other. I'll knit!"

THEREALME

Thursday, January 6, 2005 3:34 PM (P)

Quote:
Originally posted by SimonWho:

I must admit I do find the words "The Real Me" slightly disconcerting in the Joss universe. On the one hand, it is the man who has been held over the edge of a volcano, Mal tortured for hours driven to the point of madness. On the other hand, it is a 14 year old girl, complaining in her diary that nobody understands her.

There is more than one reason that I picked "The Real Me" as my alias. Those that you bring up apply (aside from the gender difference).

Quote:

Still nice that our TRM escaped from that nasty other dimension. Why are there always creatures there with tentacles?

Uh, well, in this particular case, it is because THEY were the ones who made this ice cream.

The Real Me

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site.)

THEREALME

Thursday, January 6, 2005 3:55 PM (P)

Quote:
Originally posted by PsychicRiver:

Ooh, thank you TRM!

Why, you are welcome. Did I mention that it has no calories?

Quote:

*PR goes up to TRM, and looks him straight in the eye.* Your a very brave man, I sense no fear from you.

Oh, I assure you, there is fear aplenty! It so happens that fear can be a great motivator. And how can one be brave if he does not fear? The secret is to never surrender to it. Perhaps that is what you sense.

Quote:

I scream, you scream, we all scream for ICE CREAM! *PsychichRiver puts some fudge-slavoured ice cream (with real fudge pieces in it!) into a bowl and sits on the floor and begins to eat. PR is chewing happily, then he suddenly stops. Staring straight at the floor, not even blinking. All is quiet, and PR continues to stare.*

* The Real Me has a bad feeling about this. *

Quote:

EVERYBODY, GET UNDER THE POOL TABLE! - NOW!

*Everyone looks at PR, with confused expressions on their faces. PR hears murmurs of 'What?' and nobody seems to be moving.

NOW! UNDER, NOW!

* Having seen enough episodes of Firefly, The Real Me grabs Ebo and ThatWeirdGirl and dives immediately under the pool table with them. Ice cream flies everywhere. *

As I said, a great motivator! Psychic River! What is going to happen?

Quote:

*PR drops his ice scream and scrambles to his feet, runs to the other side of the room, and scrambles up Sparky and then crawls under the pool table, to take cover, holding onto Sparky. Now others are taking cover under the pool table, and more are quckly joining them.*

Annabelle! *PR shouts to his cat, who is sitting on the window-sill, looking outside*

Annabelle, come here. *Annabelle looks around at PR, the cat miaows, and jumps off the window sill and runs over to PR and nestles in his lap.*

HOLD TIGHT, EVERYONE.

*The treehouse begins to shake.*

PsychicRiver

"Two by two, hands of blue."
"We can take care of each other. I'll knit!"

Not to worry! We can evacutate!

* The Real Me begins to open a dimensional portal. *

The Real Me

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site.)

PSYCHICRIVER

Thursday, January 6, 2005 11:13 PM (P)

*The treehouse continues to shake, knocking furniture all over the place, until a huge flash of ligth appears in the middle of the room, and an inter-dimensional crack splits down the room, opening a portal, and then purple tentacles slither in, and a uge purple beast that reaches from the floor to the ceiling lands slap-bang in the middle of the treehouse, crushing many pieces of furniture.*

TRM, get us a portal that will relocate us outside the treehouse, now. Everybody go!

*The beastly thing roars, and squiggles.*

PsychicRiver

"Two by two, hands of blue."
"We can take care of each other. I'll knit!"

THEREALME

Friday, January 7, 2005 1:28 AM (P)

* The Real Me is dazed, lying prone under the pool table with the others while the Treehouse is shaking and hell is literally breaking loose around them. The escape portal that The Real Me started to open evaporated when his concentration was broken by the rather impressive entrance of the tentacled monster. *

* The Real Me wonders how this monster (which he knows to be literally a Purple People Eater) could possibly have followed him from the Purple Dimension. Not only would it need powers similar to his own, but it would also require a token originating in this dimension, something that could be used to home in on the Treehouse. Something like… *

* The Real Me notices that one of the monster’s many tentacles is clutching his own lost left shoe. *

DAMMIT! I got careless!

*The beastly thing roars, and squiggles.*

* Psychic River yells: *

“TRM, get us a portal that will relocate us outside the treehouse, now. Everybody go!”

* As The Real Me scrambles to his feet, he slaps the floor between SimonWho and ThatWeirdGirl. A spot of light appears there, and starts to grow in size. *

* At that moment, a pair of tentacles reach for ThatWeirdGirl and Ebo, but Sparky (obeying the First Law) leaps up in time to protect them. The tentacles wrap around the robot, squeeze tightly, and pull. Sparky is torn apart in a shower of metal, plastic, and... sparks. *

Poor Sparky!

* Another tentacle reaches for PsychicRiver, but The Real Me waves a hand to create a hole in reality to shield him. The tentacle reaching for PsychicRiver disappears into the hole. The Real Me makes a fist, closing that portal and slicing off the end of that tentacle. A flood of purple blood and gore gushes out of the stump all over PsychicRiver. The monster howls in pain. *

* By this time, the spot of light between SimonWho and ThatWeirdGirl has grown to encompass everyone under the pool table. They all fall into the void, except for The Real Me, who has moved away. *

I’ll join you presently!

* Everyone else finds themselves dropping roughly into Zoid’s Pub at the Bottom of the Tree. *

The Real Me

EBONEZER

Friday, January 7, 2005 1:47 AM (P)

*Ebo looks around all dazed like. Feeling kind of sad over lack of treehouse and ice cream she starts to dive under her pool table to hide, but soon realizes that its still in the treehouse.*

Awww crap.

*Suddenly there is a crash from above and the pool table soars out of the window and lands, crockedly, a few feet away on the grass. A tub of ice cream lands neatly on top.*

Jubulation!

-----------------------------------

Four out of five gynecologists recommend calling Ebo a girl.

SIMONWHO

Friday, January 7, 2005 1:48 AM (P)

*ouch*

Ok, I seem to have landed halfway across the bar. Just let me slide down...

There, slightly better. Okay, I think we should take a vote: All those in favour of banning teleportation from dark dimensions directly into the treehouse say "Aye".

Also, how are we going to reclaim our treehouse? And is this purple people eater something that is purple or does it just eat purple people because that would be racist and wrong.

THEREALME

Friday, January 7, 2005 2:26 AM (P)

* Another dimensional portal opens near the Pub at the Bottom of the Tree and The Real Me staggers out, clearly fatigued. He is followed by various Treehouse members who had been in their rooms during the disaster. *

I’ll have to check the roof for the Grey Jedi, now.

* The Real Me opens another portal, but this one is barely a foot across. He takes a couple of deep breaths, concentrates, and it opens wide enough for him to squeeze his upper body through. The Real Me pulls The Grey Jedi out. *

Okay! Are we all accounted for? Is anyone missing?

* The Real Me turns to SimonWho. *

Yes, they will eat anybody.

* The Real Me turns to PsychicRiver, who is still dripping in monster gore. *

Well, what’s going to happen NEXT?

The Real Me

THEREALME

Friday, January 7, 2005 3:13 PM (P)

* PsychicRiver does not respond, implying either shock or the onset of another Vision. *

What about the rest of you? We need a plan to retake the Treehouse.

With my dimensional travel power, I can provide a convenient secret entrance for us, but the monster is too big for me to move to another dimension on my own. Plus, we have to get my shoe back, or else it could return.

What other super powers do we have access to? If any of you had been keeping them secret, now might be a good time to reveal them.

Let me see what I can remember...

PsychicRiver can receive visions of danger... AFTER it's too late to do anything about.

Ebo can communicate with sea life and muppets.

Mal-licious possesses inhumanly great beauty, combined with an appropriately-sized ego. Uh, sorry, I mean "force of personality".

The Grey Jedi can create technological marvels out of random piles of useless crap.

ManicNumberOne... Oh, right.

* The Real Me reaches into his shirt pocket to remove the inch-high figure of ManiacNumberOne, then sets him carefully on Zoid's bar. *

ManicNumberOne can shrink himself down so that he could fit in someone's pocket... he used to do that with Wela.

Hmmm... Clandestiny could generate an inpenetrable force field, but I haven't seen HIM around in a long time. And he never joined the Treehouse.

* The Real Me turns to SimonWho. *

Hey, didn't you once say that you could destroy entire planets? It's not that I'm asking for a demonstration, mind you, but... do you think that you could... you know... scale that down a bit?

The Real Me

SIMONWHO

Friday, January 7, 2005 4:29 PM (P)

I'm afraid it's whole planets or nothing with me really. Sorry but my powers aren't that great. They include:

1) Destroying whole planets (by the way, if anyone can stop a G. Bush from Texas repeatedly calling me and asking for my help, I'd be much obliged)

2) Being a Doctor, healing the sick, tending the wounded, filling out three hundred pages of paperwork relating to same.

3) Unintentionally hurting the feelings of women I am attracted to (very good at this one).

4) Getting beaten up by one-eyed men who have been locked up in a tiny cage for several years.

5) Confusing the words Summer and River. Hang on, I did it again, I meant River and Summer. Boh!

I'm probably best used as a backup, to heal those injured by your no doubt insane plan to take back the Treehouse. Either that or I'll look through my textbooks to find some hidden flaw in the monster's physiology.

PSYCHICRIVER

Friday, January 7, 2005 6:53 PM (P)

Ok, good....we're out. Excellent moves TRM.

Erm, well my powers stretch to...

Apparitions....Visions....Flashbacks....Sensing Things....

I can read and occasionally control minds, but that always shorts out on me.

And sometimes when I concentrate, I can do telekinesis, but only small objects! I'm still learning!

Okay, *Swipes hand over face* I have to get this purple goo off of my face, it's starting to sting!!

TRM, can u open somewhere with water, say in a water pipe, then it could just wash all this pap off my face?

Right...plan....plan...think PsychicRiver, think!

Well...if we can't transport the creature into another dimension, then we're gonna have to get it out of the treehouse, and onto the groun, where we stand a better chance of destroying it.

I hate so say this, but we're gonna have to destroy one of the walls of the tree house, then the grey jedi can make a machine to launch it into the air and we can all-

*PsychicRiver stops talking and goes into another stare...*

Okay, I'm having another one.

*The images flash through PR's mind....

PR blinks and comes back to reality.*

Ok, I know what to do. I need you ALL to go back into the treehouse, and start to attack it. ONLY those strong enough will go. We can't risk losing anyone. We've already lost Sparky... *Pr gets teared up.* Look, if we get through this, it's possible that the Grey Jedi can fix up Sparky, good as new! But first we need to get rid of that thing.

Right, we will divise a team that will go back into the treehouse, and attack the creature. We need to confuse it, get it all turned around so it's mentally weakened.

TRM, your a key player here... you're gonna need to be opening up portals left right and centre, we need to keep people hopping in and out all over the place, really confuse it...also, some physical pain would not go a miss. And TRM, you need to get your shoe back.

You'll all need to use your powers to weaken this thing, then...once it's weak enough and TRM has gotten his shoe back....then I'm gonna do my thang.

I'm gonna try and take control of it's mind. The more you confuse it...the easier it will be, and the longer I can keep control. We need to get down his mental defenses.

Once I'm in control, and I'm gonna take a loo around and work out how I can make it open a portal and go back through it. Hopefully I can do it. Fingers crossed everyone!

Ok, now onto questions....

TRM; Tell me what it's like opening up dimensional portals....tell me how to do it....and then once I'm inside, I can do it as quickly as possible.

All: Who;s up for being on the team to attack the creature?

oh and ManiacNumberOne, you can be useful, sounds icky but trust me, I've just had purple blood sprayed all over me...but I want you to shrink really small, and go in the beast ear, annoy it as much as possible, but once I'm in control - get out - ASAP, otherwise you'll be going to the purple-verse.

Now, sign up! Sign up!

PsychicRiver

"Two by two, hands of blue."
"We can take care of each other. I'll knit!"

THATWEIRDGIRL

Friday, January 7, 2005 7:33 PM (P)

I've got a power!!!!!

I can confuse anyone or anything in a matter of seconds. i can be a great distraction. Just send me to the creature and all will be fine. I might even make friends.

*looks around at everyone's gapping mouths and rolling eyes*

I'm not crazy, it'll work. I know it will. If anything bad happens I can defend myself with my nimbile skipping until TRM can key in on me and pull me out.

*takes off right shoe and hands it to TRM*

Let's go!

www.thatweirdgirl.com

PSYCHICRIVER

Friday, January 7, 2005 9:02 PM (P)

Quote:
Originally posted by thatweirdgirl:
I've got a power!!!!!

I can confuse anyone or anything in a matter of seconds. i can be a great distraction. Just send me to the creature and all will be fine. I might even make friends.

*looks around at everyone's gapping mouths and rolling eyes*

I'm not crazy, it'll work. I know it will. If anything bad happens I can defend myself with my nimbile skipping until TRM can key in on me and pull me out.

*takes off right shoe and hands it to TRM*

Let's go!

www.thatweirdgirl.com

Ok, let's do this thang....

Right, I'm gonna do my best to help you out....we could even be linked. I can hear your thoughts...(I hope your not horny....or do I?....and I can speak to you telepathicly...

So lets try this!

*crosses fingers*

(btw, my pc's going in 4 a check up 2mo....so i may not be about for a while! hopefully be back by monday and if plot requires it...then someone else can write my reactions or whatever...)

Peace.

PsychicRiver

"Two by two, hands of blue."

"We can take care of each other. I'll knit!"

EBONEZER

Saturday, January 8, 2005 12:04 AM (P)

*Ebo watches from under her pool table, her face set in stone. There is no damn way that she's gonna leave her ice cream stash to get slimed by some big ugly monster. She watches the others take up arms and sighs.*

Ok fine.

*She crawls out from underneath the pool table and joins the others.*

What are my powers again? Oh yeah. Talking to sea life and muppets. And feminine wiles. You forgot feminine wiles.

Hey! Idea! I have the perfect plan of attack! Garnteed succes! Its to, um, oh wait. Crap. I forgot what it was. Nevermind. Contune as planed. I relinqish my command to You and PhsyicRiver because I haven't the foggyest clue whats goin on.

-----------------------------------

Four out of five gynecologists recommend calling Ebo a girl.

THEREALME

Saturday, January 8, 2005 2:43 AM (P)

Quote:
Originally posted by thatweirdgirl:
I've got a power!!!!!

I can confuse anyone or anything in a matter of seconds. i can be a great distraction. Just send me to the creature and all will be fine. I might even make friends.

*looks around at everyone's gapping mouths and rolling eyes*

I'm not crazy, it'll work. I know it will. If anything bad happens I can defend myself with my nimbile skipping until TRM can key in on me and pull me out.

*takes off right shoe and hands it to TRM*

Let's go!

www.thatweirdgirl.com

* The Real Me looks oddly at ThatWeirdGirl. *

Oh, so THAT’S what is going on. It’s just your super power. I thought there might be some OTHER reason I always get distracted and confused around you.

* The Real Me takes ThatWeirdGirl’s shoe and turns to PsychicRiver. *

So, PsychicRiver, you want to know what it’s like to open holes in dimensions? Well, it’s sort of like… Ummmm… Well, I just DO it. It’s hard to put in words. But watch and listen, and I’ll try to explain.

* The Real Me comes near PsychicRiver, and closes his eyes. *

See, first I need to get a sense of what I want to open onto. There are countless realities out there, and I can almost always find something close to what I desire. For example, right now I am imagining a cool, crystal-clear lake bottom. Since I’m not being too specific, I have no idea if this lake bottom is a short walk away, on the other side of the Earth, or in another dimension entirely. For our purposes, it doesn’t really matter.

* The Real Me extends his right hand near PsychicRiver’s head, and points at nothing with his index finger. *

I can sort of FEEL space-time. It has a texture to me. I think of it like a loosely woven fabric. Now, I can poke my finger through the weave of that fabric, parting it to find, on the other side, the very thing that I imagined, and so…

* A spot of light appears at The Real Me’s fingertip. It slowly expands to about a hand-span in width, a ring of fire around a dark void. Suddenly, a high-pressure stream of water issues from it, knocking TheRealMe and PsychicRiver down with the force of a fire hose. *

Oooops! Too deep. I’ll imagine a SHALLOW lake.

* The gush of water reduces to resemble a gentle shower. The Real Me gets to his feet, and helps PsychicRiver up.*

There, PsychicRiver, now you can get cleaned up.

Oh, another thing. Ripping holes in reality can be tiring. The larger the portal is, and the faster it opens or closes, the more it takes out of me. Snapping that little one shut to cut through the tentacle almost caused me to pass out. Right now, I really have to rest. After all the things I did during our escape, all I can manage are tiny portals that nobody could actually fit through.

* The Real Me raises an eyebrow and glances at ManiacNumberOne. *

Except…

Maniac? You want to try some scouting?

The Real Me

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site.)

THEREALME

Saturday, January 8, 2005 2:47 AM (P)

This monster is probably out to retrieve the ice cream that I… ummmmm… FOUND… during my visit in its home dimension. We have a tub of THAT over there on the ground by the wrecked pool table.

Hey, Ebo, don’t eat ALL of it!

We could probably use this ice cream to lure it away from the Treehouse to someplace where we can deal with it. But how do we deal with it? If we send it back to its own dimension, it could just return. Even without the shoe, it could have gotten a good enough impression of this place in the time it’s been here.

* The Real Me thinks for a couple of seconds, then snaps his fingers. *

Okay, I think I’ve got it. Here are my ideas. Perhaps we can incorporate a couple of plans together into one Master Plan.

The Grey Jedi uses some trash bags, motorcycle helmets, bicycle tire pumps, empty pepsimilk bottles, and crazy-straws to construct some custom-fitted vacuum suits. Let’s see… at least for Ebonezer, ThatWeirdGirl, SimonWho, PsychicRiver, and myself. We suit up.

Since this monster is sort of like an octopus, perhaps Ebo can communicate with it. She could tell it that we are going to take the ice cream far, far away. (You are right, Ebo, I DID forget your “wiles”, but I’m not sure that they would apply in this case.)

We run like hell, and it chases us. If at any time the monster seems to be giving up its chase, Ebo can taunt it like a Monty Python French knight. If at any time PsychicRiver gets a BAD FEELING, like the world is about to end or something, we can reconsider our actions.

Now, as it chases us, I open a dimensional portal to some worthless uninhabitable rockball planet and we go through. I leave the portal open long enough that the monster can see where we are. The monster follows us using its own abilities. Or perhaps PsychicRiver can implant such a suggestion into its mind, or take it over to MAKE it follow us.

We quickly depart THAT planet using another dimensional portal, while SimonWho destroys the planet behind us, slaying the monster and, incidentally, vaporizing my left shoe.

But what is to keep the monster escaping destruction by using its own dimensional powers? Can ThatWeirdGirl’s confusion power be sufficient to keep it from running off? Or can PsychicRiver hold it immobile with some kind of mind block?

Hmmmmm…

I think that we might also need somebody with super-strength to hold the monster in one place while SimonWho destroys the planet. This needs to be someone who doesn’t particularly mind being destroyed WITH the planet, or else someone who is invulnerable as well as super-strong.

Any volunteers? No? Dammit! Clandestiny’s force field would certainly be useful here!

Well, I have another prospect in mind, if we need such a person. Hmmmm… Actually, someone with super-strength could be useful in the fight even if we DON’T leave him or her behind to be destroyed.

Anyway, so what do you all think? Is this plan so crazy that it might just work? Or is it just crazy? We might even be able to keep the ice cream.

Of course, if ThatWeirdGirl can make friends with the monster, all this planning is unnecessary.

The Real Me

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site.)

THATWEIRDGIRL

Saturday, January 8, 2005 3:13 AM (P)

Quote:
Originally posted by TheRealMe:

Of course, if ThatWeirdGirl can make friends with the monster, all this planning is unnecessary.
The Real Me

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site.)

well, let's see if I can make friends first, 'kay. That way no one has to get too worked up or tired. TRM, you need to hang on to my shoe just in case I need out quickly.

*Looks at smouldering treehouse ladder and grabs it. TWG slowly climbs up to her posible ruin*

Wish me luck!

www.thatweirdgirl.com

THEREALME

Saturday, January 8, 2005 3:26 AM (P)

But...

Wait...

Tired...

Can't...

* The Real Me is for some reason very confused. He sighs, tucks TWG's shoe into his belt, and starts to climb up after her. *

The Real Me

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site.)

THATWEIRDGIRL

Saturday, January 8, 2005 3:42 AM (P)

*TWG pokes her head thru the hole in the floor and looks for the purple thingy. it's too quiet. she pulls herself up and spies the purple thing by the wack-an-exec.*

Um, hi! *waves hand* I'm thatweirdgirl. *stares at twg* Your ice cream is really great. *skips a bit towards IT*

Argghhh! platthy totwurdygril.

Ahh!!!! *TWG freezes, remembering all her survival skills she learned at camp* Whoa, there...

*IT runs towards TWG, tentacles flying about. then stops.*

I wanna have some fun, come on sing with me, I wanna have some fun...don't you know about the incredible Samantha Fox?

*IT shakes headlike thing*

No? Well, let me tell you about about the perfectly petite, but not tiny, blonde with the moves..

www.thatweirdgirl.com

THEREALME

Saturday, January 8, 2005 3:52 AM (P)

* The Real Me peeks up through the open hatch, to see ThatWeirdGirl talking to a large purple tentacled monster inside the Treehouse common room. *

* The Real Me is confused, but he wants to hear about Samantha Fox, too. However, he always thought that it was Cyndi Lauper who wanted to have fun...??? *

* The Real Me realizes with certainty that he should be VERY impressed by ThatWeirdGirl's super power, but he can't quite remember what she can do... *

* And where in the world did ThatWeirdGirl get such a HUGE pet? *

* Maybe it likes ice cream. *

The Real Me

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site.)

THATWEIRDGIRL

Saturday, January 8, 2005 4:07 AM (P)

*TWG sees TRM out of the corner of her eye and waves to stall him*

...so, then she did this magazine spread...

www.thatweirdgirl.com

THEREALME

Saturday, January 8, 2005 4:28 AM (P)

* The Real Me smiles, and waves back. *

The Real Me

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site.)

THATWEIRDGIRL

Saturday, January 8, 2005 4:41 AM (P)

*IT and TWG are laughing so hard papsimilk squirts out of thier noses, or what TWG thinks is IT's nose.*

It's true! I swear. All Micky Mouse Club grads.

*It takes another bite of the pineapple and grilled cheese sandwich TWG gave HER to eat*

We're sorry about all that mess. I get it now, it's just like melange. Well, what kind of deal can we work out?

*IT picks up mallet and attempts to hit TWG on the head*

hey, I said I'm sorry. we can trade, look i have this thing...

www.thatweirdgirl.com

THEREALME

Saturday, January 8, 2005 4:53 AM (P)

* MALLET! *

* ThatWeirdGirl almost got hurt. The Real Me realizes that he should DO something. Something about a shoe. Hey, here is a shoe in his belt. That's not where shoes belong. They're supposed to go on FEET. *

* Huh. Look at that. The Real Me is missing a shoe his own self. *

* The Real Me wonders why he is dangling from this rope ladder by one hand. *

* The Real Me would like some pepsimilk. *

The Real Me

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site.)

THATWEIRDGIRL

Saturday, January 8, 2005 5:36 AM (P)

Deal! i give you four green m&ms, six tubes of vaseline lip care, and one large pink ball, and we can import the ice cream freely.

*IT and TWG wiggle in circle*

Drubnot! horton! drubont, hox!

well, now that that's settled, would you like to meet the others?

*IT tentatively nods*

TRM, you can come on over. TheRealMe this is InolaTeg, she's gonna let you transport ice cream to the treehouse anytime Ebo needs some.

*TWG skips around IT singing* A very merry unbirthday to you , to you...

www.thatweirdgirl.com

THATWEIRDGIRL

Saturday, January 8, 2005 6:07 AM (P)

*TWG leans over edge of treehouse and waves to the crowd*

Ebo? Think you can come up here and talk to IT for me? I've learned a few important phrases, but you're the expert with sea life languages.

She wants to meet everyone, but she's shy.

www.thatweirdgirl.com

EBONEZER

Saturday, January 8, 2005 6:16 AM (P)

"Is it gonna eat me?" Ebo calls up.

*IT gurgles, which Ebo hopes is a no, and Ebo climbs up the rope ladder.*

So, uh, IT. Yoou make this ice cream then? Its top notch. Whats your secret?

*IT hurls a large tentical in Ebo's direction, which she ducks.*

Right! No secrets, forget I asked. Listen there IT, If i invite the others up here to meet you, do you promise not to eat them? Or tenticalize them? Burninating isn't allowed either.....yeah, i know thats Turgador, but I heard that you two were goin out and I wanted to make sure you hadn't picked up on any of his, um, quirks.

-----------------------------------

Four out of five gynecologists recommend calling Ebo a girl.

THEREALME

Saturday, January 8, 2005 6:49 AM (P)

* As the Real Me's head clears, he wonders what he is doing arm-in-tentacle with the Purple People Eater. Hmmmm... Nobody seems to have been eaten by it, yet. *

* There is ThatWeirdGirl pouring more pepsimilk for the creature. There is Ebonezer, speaking earnestly to the monster, face to... uh... sensor cluster. The Real Me can't quite make out what language they are speaking. Ebo seems a little apprehensive. *

* And there is the monster... Ah... right next to The Real Me, with its slimy tentacle wrapped around his hand. But wait, she has a name, doesn't she? Enola Gay? No. Inola Teg. That's right. *

* Teggy? *

* The Real Me hopes that Teggy isn't still sore about that missing tentacle. Perhaps it will grow back. *

* The Real Me notices that Teggy is playing with a ball, happily bouncing it up and... *

* The Real Me snatches Sparky's head away in mid-bounce. *

Ahem! If you'll all excuse me, I have a little repair work to do.

* The Real Me disengages himself from Teggy's tentacles and tries to walk away, but he falls. Now why would The Real Me be wearing a woman's right shoe on his own left foot? *

The Real Me

WICCANSLYR

Saturday, January 8, 2005 7:58 AM (P)

*wander in and looks around*

OMF! It's that treehouse place all the SOB's where talking about!

I found it! I found it! I freak'n Found it!

Yay me!

So how KOOL is it that I just got back from the Mid-night showing of Monthy Python's Holy Grail?!?!?!

I mean I pulled up the AMC Levee schedule for Phantom times (which I saw for the second time as well) and there, in the list for Fri and Sat was a Mid-night showing of Holy Grail!!!

WOOOOOOOOO-HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

If life is what you make it I want Cheese Cake!

THEREALME

Saturday, January 8, 2005 8:56 AM (P)

* Startled, The Real Me awakens. He is somewhat suprised and dismayed to have been using Sparky's head as a pillow. He opens one bleary eye and looks around, to see... *

Wiccanslyr???

* The Real Me scrambles to his feet. *

Wiccanslyr, I...

* The Real Me falls again. He removes ThatWeirdGirl's right shoe from his left foot, and stands again. *

Ah... it's great to see you again! Welcome to our...

* As The Real Me gestures, he looks about at the devastation that is the Treehouse common room. Furniture is splintered into bits. The bar is in two pieces, its mirror cracked and most bottles shattered. Rubble is strewn about the room. Things that may have been pinball machines or video games line the wall. A large plasma TV has a bar stool embedded into the screen, which is leaking plasma. There is a sheen of purple goo covering a large spot on the floor. *

Ah, excuse the mess.

* The Real Me franticly looks about for Inora Teg, hoping that she had not eaten Ebo or ThatWeirdGirl during his nap. The Real Me relaxes when he sees them all sleeping peacefully on what used to be a sofa. *

I'm afraid that we've had a rather exiting time, fighting an edritch horror from the Purple Dimension. Uh, well that's it over THERE. Her, I should say. She's a female... whatever she is.

* The Real Me points at a huge purple mass, sprouting dozens of tentacles and eye stalks (the one being difficult to distinguish from the other). There is also a large fanged mouth somewhat lower in the body than one might expect. *

Technically we didn't really fight her. We escaped her. But then ThatWeirdGirl and Ebonezer made a deal with her so that we could import ice cream from her dimension and...

Well, it's complicated.

Also, I should say that this is only the LATEST Treehouse thread. I can give you that history sometime later. But for now, make yourself comfortable! Have a seat on...

* The Real Me looks about for any intact furniture. *

Uh, have a seat on this spot of floor. It looks stable enough, and has hardly any monster gore or hydraulic fluids spilled on it.

* The Real Me sits nearby, and realizes that he is still carrying Sparky's head. He displays it for Wiccanslyr. It is made of metal and plastic, and seems to have been deformed by great pressure. *

Uh, this is... was... a robot of my invention, the Mechana-cabana-boy 3000. We called him Sparky.

* The Real Me stares at Sparky's remaining eye, and absently tries to get the jaw joint to stop binding. *

Yes, indeed! Monty Python and the Holy Grail was a great show!

* The Real Me's face brightens. *

Would you like some ice cream?

The Real Me

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site.)

THEREALME

Sunday, January 9, 2005 6:05 PM (P)

* With the Inola Teg eldritch horror situation well in hand (thanks to ThatWeirdGirl and Ebonezer), The Real Me comes to consider the problems of reconstruction. The Treehouse, and especially its contents, suffered severe damage do to the battle and to Teggy’s subsequent playful antics. *

* The Real Me ducks as the Whack-a-Fox-Executive game goes flying past his head to crash through the north wall. A moment later, it can be heard to smash into the ground below. Behind The Real Me, Teggy gurgles happily. *

Uh, Ebonezer? Can you ask our guest when she thinks she might be going home? Perhaps we can give her a jar of M&Ms and send her off for more ice cream.

* The Real Me wanders amongst the wreckage in the Treehouse common room. With a smile of satisfaction, he locates the toppled Effigy of Ebo, crafted by revelers during the holidays. After some lifting, pulling, and tugging, he gets it into an upright position. *

* The Real Me takes a closer look at the Effigy of Ebo. He circles around it to see it from all angles. *

Hmmmm… It’s like its eyes always follow me.

* The Real Me glances down at PsychicRiver’s crude graffiti and frowns. *

Ah, I see that the New Year’s celebration must have involved substantial amounts of alcohol!

* The plural nature of the graffiti convinces The Real Me that someone is in desperate need of anatomy lessons. That, or else enough alcohol was involved that the artist was seeing double. *

Oh, well, might as well get on with this.

* The Real Me pulls a handy scrap of parchment from a pocket and places into the Effigy’s mouth. Then he gets a magic marker, uncaps it, and carefully inscribes a handful of Hebrew characters on the forehead of the Effigy. With some satisfaction, The Real Me replaces the marker’s cap. *

There! That should do it! Hello? Are you awake?

* The Ebo Golem opens its eyes. *

Oh, hi. Could you please tidy up the place a bit? Thanks.

* The Ebo Golem nods and gets to work. The Real Me turns to the others in the Treehouse. *

I’m afraid that it will be quite a while before I have Sparky back in working order. I still need to see what’s left of my laboratory. In the meantime, the Ebo Golem can help out. Don’t worry about the Ebo Golem. It’s safe. Since it is based on Ebo’s form, we can count on it being as sweet and kind and gentle as Ebo herself!

The Real Me

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site.)

THEREALME

Sunday, January 9, 2005 6:17 PM (P)

SimonWho? You are a doctor. Perhaps you can help.

* The Real Me takes SimonWho to a rather dopey-looking PsychicRiver, who is lying on the remnants of a sofa, drooling. *

See, just before ThatWeirdGirl climbed up the ladder to deal with Teggy, PsychicRiver talked about linking minds with her. I believe that this condition is the result.

Thankfully, ThatWeirdGirl usually keeps her powers of confusion restrained, but when she really turned them loose, I suffered some rather strong effects even though I was not her intended target.

Now, if PsychicRiver was actually linked to ThatWeridGirl’s mind while this was going on…

Well, see if there is anything you can do.

The Real Me leaves PsychicRiver in SimonWho's capable hands and departs to see if power is still being supplied by the butterfly-shaped solar collectors buzzing around the top of the tree.

The Real Me

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site.)

THATWEIRDGIRL

Sunday, January 9, 2005 7:02 PM (P)

Will PR be okay? I forgot that he was trying to link up. Oh golly, all that Samantha Fox, Micky Mouse Club, Dark Matter theories, and Pink Floyd sing alongs must have tweaked PR pretty bad. I might have gone too far praising the cullinary skills of the frycook at Village Inn.

*twiddles thumbs nervously*

Simon, you have to fix PR. I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to hurt...

*kneels next to PR and lovingly strokes his hand*

IT, can you take me to your dimension? I have an idea that could help.

*InolaTeg wobbles her tentacles around and a rip begins to form. As it widens TWG and IT step thru, the tear closing behind them.

www.thatweirdgirl.com

PSYCHICRIVER

Sunday, January 9, 2005 7:31 PM (P)

*PR stirs in his un-consciousness... and rolls over...

although he is breathing...he shows no signs of waking up soon...without help...*

Bluddy Britney Spears and fookin Christina Aguilera!

PsychicRiver

"Two by two, hands of blue."
"We can take care of each other. I'll knit!"

SIMONWHO

Sunday, January 9, 2005 8:53 PM (P)

Okay, I'm just going to test your reflexes.

*ow!*

Right, you managed to grab my arm before I even hit your knee with the gavel. I don't think reflex tests were devised with psychics in mind.

The best thing we could do is get the monster as far away as possible so it doesn't interfere with PR's mind, such as it is, any more. Perhaps it might like to return to its own dimension?

Oh, and TRM, I see you've created a mindless, lumbering creature called ebo. Did we really need another one?

PSYCHICRIVER

Sunday, January 9, 2005 9:06 PM (P)

"Because it's wrong..."

*PsychicRiver...still in slumber...bursts out laughing crazily, and stops...and moans...*

Ow....

PsychicRiver

"Two by two, hands of blue."
"We can take care of each other. I'll knit!"

THEREALME

Sunday, January 9, 2005 10:06 PM (P)

* The Real Me returns to SimonWho and PsychicRiver, lugging about a bucketful of Sparky that he has been collecting. He sets it down. *

Whew!

Quote:
Originally posted by SimonWho:

The best thing we could do is get the monster as far away as possible so it doesn't interfere with PR's mind, such as it is, any more. Perhaps it might like to return to its own dimension?

Oh, so you think that the problem is the psychic disturbance caused by Teggy? That it wasn't due to being in ThatWeirdGirl's mind when things got... weird? Say, where are ThatWeirdGirl and Teggy, anyway?

Quote:

Oh, and TRM, I see you've created a mindless, lumbering creature called ebo. Did we really need another one?

Oh, most certainly. While the Ebo Golem may lack some of the charm of the original, it is stupendously stronger, and more amenable to tasks of drudgery. Until I can get Sparky rebuilt, I'm afraid that the Ebo Golem is the best I can do.

Well, aside from doing the drudge work myself.

Now seriously, where are ThatWeirdGirl and Teggy?

Oh, and did PsychicRiver say something?

PsychicRiver? Psssst! Are you awake?

The Real Me

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not really ignoring you.)

THATWEIRDGIRL

Sunday, January 9, 2005 10:18 PM (P)

*a blinding light appears, hovering above Simon's head. A head squeezes thru*

Hi!!! It and I are working on a solution to PR's problem. We are currently interogating several members of the blue man group. We'll be back soon.

*the hole begins to close*

Look, I have to go, IT can't hold it open much longer.

*the light fades away. Leaving SimonWho with a sore neck from looking straight above him*

www.thatweirdgirl.com

ZOID

Sunday, January 9, 2005 11:52 PM (P)

*zoid replaces empty barrel of Castlemaine's XXXX in taproom, then goes back upstairs to suffer through, er, watch EastEnders with wife*

Respectfully,

zoid
Publican, "The Bottom of the Tree"

SIMONWHO

Monday, January 10, 2005 12:33 AM (P)

Okay, now I have sore ribs from dropping onto the bar, a sore wrist from where PR grabbed it and a sore neck from looking up at ThatWeirdGirl. And I didn't even actually get into the fight. I prescribe myself a massage.

Right, back to cleaning the Treehouse up. I'll get the mop and bucket. Don't worry, I had to do this all the time in med school after an operation had gone catastrophically wr.. er, after the patient tragically didn't pull through.

*whistles innocently*

THATWEIRDGIRL

Monday, January 10, 2005 11:54 PM (P)

*a small pinpoint of light slowly grows hovering high in the air. Just as TWG is about to jump onto the floor, SimonWho moves beneath her with his mop. The hole closes behind her.*

Ouch! Sorry.

*TWG seems to have knocked him out. She sits him up near the couch and places an empty bottle in his hand in hopes that he'll beleive he passed out on his own.*

Hey, how's PR doing? IT and I worked all weekend on a solution...drink this. *TWG hands PR a shot glass filled with a simmering violet elixir.*

It should work. We combined root beer, a dro pof IT's blood to key onto her genetic signature left over in PR's brain, a drop of my blood to expell any confusion, three tablespoons of velveeta, one teaspoon each of kosher salt and vanilla, a quarter cup of milk, and a capful nyquil. So this should also clear up any cold symptoms you may have.

Go on drink up. I tested it and didn't die, so there's a decent chance it could work.

*TWG ralizes that she wasn't very nice to Simon. She runs into the bathroom and back out to Simon's side. She sits down next to him and applies a cold compress to his head and softly sings the themesong to Patty Duke.*

Poor Simon. I'm really sorry.

*TWG begins to gently rock him back anf forth like a baby.*

www.thatweirdgirl.com

SIMONWHO

Tuesday, January 11, 2005 12:53 AM (P)

Whsa... wha? Oh, my head hurts Sarah Jane, where am I?

*wakes up properly*

Oh. I'm here. Ooo, something made my head sore. A bottle? Was I drinking last night? Is that why the floor is covered in ooze?

*reads thread to catch up on what happened*

Right, so it wasn't alcohol that brought me low, it was some peculiar woman.

Story of my life.

Not that I'm objecting to the cradling and singing mind you. Who is Patty Duke and how does her theme tune go?

THATWEIRDGIRL

Tuesday, January 11, 2005 1:03 AM (P)

Some peculiar woman? Well, I...*shrug*

Doh, I forgot that you might not know about the horrible contrived shows of the 60s. Let's see, Patty Duke is Samwise Gamgee's mother. She played a teen and her identical cousin. Theme away...

Meet Cathy, who's lived most everywhere,
From Zanzibar to Barclay Square.
But Patty's only seen the sights
A girl can see from Brooklyn Heights — What a crazy pair!

But they're cousins,
Identical cousins all the way.
One pair of matching bookends,
Different as night and day.

Where Cathy adores a minuet,
The Ballet Russes, and crepe suzette,
Our Patty loves to rock and roll,
A hot dog makes her lose control — What a wild duet!

Still, they're cousins,
Identical cousins and you'll find,
They laugh alike, they walk alike,
At times they even talk alike —
You can lose your mind,
When cousins are two of a kind.

www.thatweirdgirl.com

MALICIOUS

Tuesday, January 11, 2005 1:36 AM (P)

Quote:
Originally posted by thatweirdgirl:
...root beer, a drop of IT's blood to key onto her genetic signature left over in PR's brain, a drop of my blood to expell any confusion, three tablespoons of velveeta, one teaspoon each of kosher salt and vanilla, a quarter cup of milk, and a capful nyquil...

WHY does this remind me of college???

Mal-licious

Co-Holder of the Red Bell from Hell

EBONEZER

Tuesday, January 11, 2005 2:21 AM (P)

*Ebo comes out of the back rooms and rounds the corner into into common and comes face to face with - herself.*

Great merciful crap shit! What the hell is that?

*Ebo jumps under the pool table, then realizes that the pool table is on the grass by zoids bar.*

Crap!

*She jumps up and looks for somewhere to hide. Finding no place, she crawls under a throw rug.*

Do you guys see that? Its ME! With crazy word things tattoed on its face! *Whimpers*

Call me when it goes away...

-----------------------------------

Four out of five gynecologists recommend calling Ebo a girl.

THEREALME

Tuesday, January 11, 2005 5:13 AM (P)

* The Real Me walks over and pulls up the corner of the throw rug. *

Ebo! Don't worry, it's just your Effigy. You remember? The one without hate? I animated it using an old trick that I read about once in an old role-playing supplement. It's the Ebo Golem, now. It's going to help us clean up the place until I can get Sparky back together.

* For emphasis, The Real Me waves about his latest find: Sparky's left hand. *

You can think of The Ebo Golem sort of like a twin sister. Or a twin cousin, like Patty Duke had!

* The Real Me thinks back on his childhood when he actually watched the Patty Duke Show. *

So is Patty Duke REALLY the mother of Sam Gamgee? I didn't know that.

* The Real Me has another thought. *

Say, ThatWeirdGirl, can you sing the Dick Van Dyke theme, too? How about from the Addam's Family, or the Munsters?

The Real Me

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not really ignoring you.)

THATWEIRDGIRL

Tuesday, January 11, 2005 5:23 AM (P)

Sure can!!

Adam's Family? More Patty Duke connections. Mr. Astin, Gomez, is Sam Gangee's dad.

It wasn't a perfect life. She's much happier and healthier these days.
*snap, snap*

www.thatweirdgirl.com

EBONEZER

Tuesday, January 11, 2005 5:31 AM (P)

*Ebo crawls out from under the rug.*

Well, ok...but who in the hell is Patty Duke?

-----------------------------------

Four out of five gynecologists recommend calling Ebo a girl.

THEREALME

Tuesday, January 11, 2005 5:47 AM (P)

* The Real Me sighs, and adopts a lecturing tone. *

In days of yore, before they put color into the television, there was a show on called "The Patty Duke Show". It featured a talented young woman named... Patty Duke.

She was cute.

She was talented.

She could dance, I think.

The premise of the show was that a pair of identical twin brothers had separated.

One brother moved to England, where he married an English woman and had a daughter. They travelled all over the world, met kings and queens and ambassadors and all sorts of other important people. You know, the sort of people that James Bond would hang out with.

The second brother stayed put in a big city (New York?). He also married, and also had a daughter. They had a rather ordinary life.

Now, the true hilarity of the show comes when the English girl comes to visit her American uncle's family for an extended period of time (so long, in fact, that I would have informed immigration authorities).

It so happened that the two girls looked exactly the same! So similar, in fact, that Patty Duke played both roles. Ground-breaking special effects in its day, I assure you!

So, the funny part (you were waiting for that, right?) was that the two LOOKED exactly alike, but their personalities were entirely different. The English twin cousin (with an English accent, even) acted like a cultured lady, and the American twin cousin was something of an ordinary girl, and perhaps a tomboy. Of course, when their friends mistook the one for the other, as happened every episode...

* The Real Me stops when he realizes that EVERYONE in the Treehouse is fast asleep. The Real Me shrugs and goes off to fix himself a bowl of that special ice cream. *

The Real Me

(The Real Me cannot receive messages from this site.)

MAI

Tuesday, January 11, 2005 6:15 AM (P)

I hate when I get stuck in the real world. It's like the harder I struggled to get back to the tree house the harder it was to get back in. Looks like I missed all the fun and excitement too. :( That's it from here on in I am tethering myself to ... umm to the front door (although it appears the front door has been ripped from it's hinges)or to a post or something so that I will never be lost to reality again ! <> gosh, its so good to be home.

THEREALME

Tuesday, January 11, 2005 6:35 AM (P)

Welcome back, Mai!

Here, have a bowl of magic ice cream from the Purple Dimension!

The Real Me

MAI

Tuesday, January 11, 2005 9:03 AM (P)

Thanks TRM! YUUUUUMMMMMMMM ice cream. I love ice cream. What exactly is magical about the magical ice cream? Oh wait, I bet I know. I can eat an entire container and i won't gain and ounce?

PSYCHICRIVER

Tuesday, January 11, 2005 12:30 PM (P)

*Yawn*

Morning y'all! (in texan accent like Sandy from Spongebob Squarepants)

Well...someone managed to pour that yuck stuff down my throat last night...and although I didn't wake up right away this moring I woke up not only feeling fine...but even more fnatastic then I've felt in weeks! Thanks TWG. Oh, and SW? Sorry about your arm.

Sorry I was such a pain with the collapsing and all! And whoever fed my cat, thank you!

Ack! Ebo? Why are you cleaning? You never clean!? Oh my god! EBO! Don't move. You've got a penii on your crotch!

Well...it's odd...I really do feel much stronger. I think it's IT's (no pun intended) blood...powerful stuff.

Hmm...I'm gonna try out some of my powers...see if their any better...

*Goes over to the door-no sorry, that's just a hole in the wall...

Then stops halfway and notices that Ebo is now hiding ubder the rug.*

Ebo, what are you-

*Notices other Ebo still cleaning*

What the...?

Oh, the effigy?! It's alive? Hmm...cool.

Ebo, -Sorry, the real Ebo, not you- what's up? Why are you hiding...

*Ebo explains to PR*

Oh I see.

Maybe I can help.

*PR goes over to the door, and steps out onto the balcony, and looks down at the pool table on the grass.*

Hmm...oh well, here goes!

*PR extends his arms over the edge of the balcony, palms down facing the pool table, and PR closes his eyes. PR Concentrates. The table begins to rattle, and shake ... then suddenly the table lifts off the ground and begins to rise up, up... and up into the air until its level with PR, who smiles at his work, and getting a bit cocky, makes the table rotate, mid-air...(meanwhile Zoid is walking out of the bar downstairs and right unferneath the table) PR loses his balance and trips, and thus loses his concentration and the table drops...*

Nooooo!

*PR throws his hand obver the table as it falls and it stops, above Zoid, and the number 8 ball rolls out and hits Zoid on the head, who looks up in pain, and anger.*

Oops, sorry Zoid!

*The table rise up again, and PR concentrates hard and the table moves horizontally, into the treehouse through the hole in the wall and slowly sets it down on the floor, in its normal place.*

There ya go Ebo. Fantastic! I can't believe it, my telekinesis is way more powerful now.

*PR thinks and smiles.*

Oh my gosh!

*Closes his eyes and concentrates and begins to levitate...*

I CAN FLY!!! Wow, I can't believe how cool this is? Anyone else wanna fly? Just gimme the nod...it's perfectly safe....I promise...

Well...we really do need to re-organise this tree-house...my new and improved telekinesis should help us out there! So, Ebo - what do we do now?

By the way everyone, thanks for your help, and TWG you did great in making friends with IT, and TRM you wer fantastic. Thank you all for looking after me.

PsychicRiver

"Two by two, hands of blue."
"We can take care of each other. I'll knit!"

THEREALME

Tuesday, January 11, 2005 2:42 PM (P)

Quote:
Originally posted by mai:
Thanks TRM! YUUUUUMMMMMMMM ice cream. I love ice cream. What exactly is magical about the magical ice cream? Oh wait, I bet I know. I can eat an entire container and i won't gain and ounce?

Quite correct, Mai. However, it ALSO always tastes like whatever flavor is your favorite at the time you eat it.

* The Real Me seems to be a bit puzzled as he scoops out some more. *

Also, apparently it never melts.

For the entire story of the Effigy of Ebo, how I liberated this ice cream from the purple dimension, and how we dealt with an eldrich horror that objected to said liberation, go back in this thread and start reading from about January 1. Uh, reserve a sizable block of time.

PsychicRiver! I am glad to see you awake and well. My, but your powers are impressive, now. Is this due to the blood of IT flowing through your veins?

Say, is your skin acquiring a purple tinge to it?

The Real Me

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you.)

PSYCHICRIVER

Tuesday, January 11, 2005 10:31 PM (P)

Quote:
Originally posted by TheRealMe:

PsychicRiver! I am glad to see you awake and well. My, but your powers are impressive, now. Is this due to the blood of IT flowing through your veins?

Say, is your skin acquiring a purple tinge to it?

The Real Me

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you.)

Um, no...not yet anyways. Is that a possibly side effect?

Um...gotaa say...being in TWG's head was strange...but I did discover some of here deepest darkets secrets!

And yes, she IS weird.

Also yeah I'm guessing the power boost id due to IT's blood...I hope it lasts...this could be really useful...and flying is so fun, I telekinetically lift myself, its so much fun!

PsychicRiver

"Two by two, hands of blue."

"We can take care of each other. I'll knit!"

THATWEIRDGIRL

Wednesday, January 12, 2005 12:14 AM (P)

Quote:
Originally posted by PsychicRiver:
Um...gotaa say...being in TWG's head was strange...but I did discover some of here deepest darkets secrets! And yes, she IS weird.
...and flying is so fun, I telekinetically lift myself, its so much fun!

omg, my deepest darkest secrets! Just don't tell them about the time I sang "Big Spender" on a street corner in Nice. crap! I just did. Argh.

I always thought that to fly you just didn't fall. It worked that one time...

www.thatweirdgirl.com

MAI

Wednesday, January 12, 2005 6:11 AM (P)

Like I said it's so good to be back. Fortunately, I have a lot of down time at work to catch up on the past. I am still a little confused about the whole IT monster thing and how that all came about. Everything seems to be getting back in order (well as much as it was before anyway). I for one think the destruction was a good thing, now we get to re-decorate the entire tree house. Just let me know if you need any help with the clean up. Like I said I have LOTS of time (7 hours and 57 minutes) to waste. I'm thinking we should add on a twisty tornado slide that lands in the pool. We do have a pool right?

PSYCHICRIVER

Wednesday, January 12, 2005 11:38 AM (P)

Quote:
Originally posted by mai:
Like I said it's so good to be back. Fortunately, I have a lot of down time at work to catch up on the past. I am still a little confused about the whole IT monster thing and how that all came about. Everything seems to be getting back in order (well as much as it was before anyway). I for one think the destruction was a good thing, now we get to re-decorate the entire tree house. Just let me know if you need any help with the clean up. Like I said I have LOTS of time (7 hours and 57 minutes) to waste. I'm thinking we should add on a twisty tornado slide that lands in the pool. We do have a pool right?

Oh yes! That sounds fantastic, and we must have rope to climb and a firemnas pole to go down! Woo!

PsychicRiver

"Two by two, hands of blue."

"We can take care of each other. I'll knit!"

MAI

Wednesday, January 12, 2005 3:51 PM (P)

And a hot tub too! That would make it perfect, oh and a sauna, and a sandbox too... no wait, that could get a little messy ok maybe we can do without the sandbox. (don't know what i was thinking blame it on the sleep depravation) although, it would be fun to build castles and bury people in the sand. maybe it should be put to a vote. anyone else like to play in a sandbox?

EBONEZER

Thursday, January 13, 2005 12:45 AM (P)

*Ebo glomps PR*

Yay! Pool table! You're my freaking HERO!

Sandbox good, slide better! We beed one of those.

Yep, somebody should do something about...

*suddenly Ebo falls over onto a heap on the floor*

*A few seconds later she wakes up, rubbing her head.*

Ow. No worries guys, just experencing some exreame (non-sexual) exhaustion. Effen finals...

I need ice cream.

-----------------------------------

Four out of five gynecologists recommend calling Ebo a girl.

ZOID

Thursday, January 13, 2005 4:42 AM (P)

PR consciously streamed:

Quote:
...*PR throws his hand obver the table as it falls and it stops, above Zoid, and the number 8 ball rolls out and hits Zoid on the head, who looks up in pain, and anger.*

Oops, sorry Zoid!...

Damn straight, I'm mad! Y'all should know by now: Only zoid puts zoid behind the 8 ball!

*frickin', frackin'*

...Huh?! The 8 ball says, "The outlook is doubtful"?!? What kind of billiards table is this, anyway?

v/r,
-zed
Publican, The Bottom of the Tree

THATWEIRDGIRL

Thursday, January 13, 2005 4:53 AM (P)

i think it's obvious what kind of pool table this is...an Ebo table. There's a few balls that are actually carroms.

Mind if I come down for a drink? whatever you got on draught.

www.thatweirdgirl.com

ZOID

Thursday, January 13, 2005 3:04 PM (P)

TWGgy:

Everyone's always welcome at The Bottom of the Tree. Our door is wide open, and the path is broad (with some really nice shrubbery, brought us by some guys skipping through the wood with coconut shells). And we do a booming trade, even without the benefit of a Las Vegas address. Those guys are trying to muscle in on our business; might have to send a man around to 'discuss' their franchises...

Today's lunch special: Veal, quail's eggs, caviar and aqua vitae (only the good stuff). Cost (excl. of VAT): Negotiable.

Reservations not necessary. Come as you are.

Mephistopheleally,

zoid

P.S.
Oh, and 'live' music, 24/7! You should hear our house band. And we get tons of jam sessions with the latest stars, who drop in all the time. What can I say? I've got a soft spot for musicians, and they do love 'The Bottom'...

P.P.S
Browncoats 2-for-1 ('cause you guys are harder to get as regular customers). Bring a friend.
_________________________________________________

"Burn the land and boil the sea, you can't take the sky from me." The Ballad of Serenity

PSYCHICRIVER

Thursday, January 13, 2005 6:09 PM (P)

OOOH! Quails eggs! I'm there! Anyone fancy joining me?!!

-----------------------------------
Oh, and 'live' music, 24/7! You should hear our house band.
-----------------------------------

I have. All. Bloody. Night.

PsychicRiver

"Two by two, hands of blue."
"We can take care of each other. I'll knit!"

THATWEIRDGIRL

Thursday, January 13, 2005 7:31 PM (P)

can someone here tie me up?

i seem to be addicted to the quote thread and i need help.

Hello, my name is thatweirdgirl and i am a trivia junkie. please help me, please. i've lost control. i'm responding befor anyone else even has a chance to look at the quotes. The last one i posted, will take a while, I know it will. heck, the show didn't even have dialogue for most of its run. it's rare.

*twg curls into fetal position and rocks, sweetly singing*
On how to be lovely *echo self*
You got to be happy *echo self*
When you can feel light and gay
Then you'll be lovely as a holiday...

www.thatweirdgirl.com

SIMONWHO

Thursday, January 13, 2005 8:23 PM (P)

Yes, letting you out of the dancing cage was clearly a mistake. You need to be locked up for your own good.

Unfortunately, I think our purple friend ate the cage along with most of the pool balls, our pirate costumes, eleventyseven bottles of whisky and now that I think about it, there's quite a few people I haven't seen in the treehouse for a bit.

Very well, here's a trivia question just for you: name the TV show that flopped on its initial airing (apparently for requiring "too much attention" according to the suits), never went to a full season and yet spawned a blockbusting series of movies. The answer is not Manimal, in case you were wondering.

THATWEIRDGIRL

Thursday, January 13, 2005 8:29 PM (P)

I don't now, star trek?

*Twg curls back into a ball*

Simon? Can you maybe roll me up in the rug? It might keep under control if I can only wiggle and roll.

www.thatweirdgirl.com

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