Blue Sun Room FICTION - GENERAL

Washing A Shore the River - River&Wash

Monday, November 7, 2005

Advice comes from strange places..... and who's really giving help to whom?

CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 3505    RATING: 8.0 (G)    SERIES: FIREFLY

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A River / Wash piece for you.


BUCKY AND BOB do not make an appearance (not really)....................






Fall
2517
Onboard Serenity

(Written by Blake and Tatey)




A baby.

Children.

Zoe wanted a kid and had taken to thinking on it often, and talking about it just as much. He hadn't had a chance to sit and talk about it too much, given their last run around on a failed job. He figured Mal would call it a success, because they escaped with their lives in tact, but Wash called it another reason to not bring a baby into the world. Not their baby.

How could he be the father he wanted when they were being boarded, running, fighting or being shot at every other week? A slight exaggeration perhaps, but still. Book sometimes was the only sanity Wash found to even consider the idea, but on the whole, it was a done deal. A no brainer.

A man would have to shoot the healthy horse he was riding on to make more sense than bringing a Zoe-Wash hybrid onto Serenity.

Sitting back in his chair, looking out at the planet where everyone was out hauling goods or looking for income, Wash found himself on guard duty of the Girl and patted her hull. "It's just you 'n me again. Havin' ourselves a good conversation." It was easier to talk to Serenity than Zoe about these matters.

Serenity didn't talk back and make strong, almost unarguable points.

A stand and stretch, Wash headed towards the kitchen and all but jumped out of his skin. "AaaHGH!" He leapt back, his spine hitting the exact, sharp angle of the door. Stiff pain zipped up his bones but that barely had his attention.

Thinking he was alone on board, Wash was staring at River on the stairs. "How long have you been sittin' there? You scared the gorram hell outta me."

“You were loud,” she explained, ha

Comments
Monday, 07 November 2005 01:41
I don't mind the rating.... heheee... but any feedback to go along would be much appreciated.

Thanks much.

CUB
Monday, 07 November 2005 01:48
Like I said on your other one, this color looks much better.

It's cool that your stuff is so well edited. And there are some strong word choices here. For instance:

"Her smile softened with the laughter of a phantom child only she could hear as his pain blossomed warm and fresh inside her."

Good stuff, that.
Monday, 07 November 2005 01:50
Thanks Man. That I can't take credit for, as Tatey (RiverMeimei) writes for River. She's really fantastic at capturing the character..... be on the look out for more.

And hey man.... you should forward me one of your fav. links of art/writing. I always like reading other's work. :)

CUB
Monday, 07 November 2005 01:56
"Thanks Man. That I can't take credit for, as Tatey (RiverMeimei) writes for River. She's really fantastic at capturing the character."

I agree, she is.

"And hey man.... you should forward me one of your fav. links of art/writing. I always like reading other's work. :)"

Just click on my name. You'll get my most recent blog, which was a list of some of my fav fics, and all of my own stories will be down at the bottom under "My Blue Sun Items."

I messaged you about the other stuff.

Welcome aboard, and keep writing.
Monday, 07 November 2005 05:00
Lovely!

I think you captured Wash's frustration beautifully.
Monday, 07 November 2005 10:14
Absolutely excellent. I loved how River keyed in to Wash's insecurity and the reason why coming through was nicely handled. Shiny! Ali D :~)
You can't take the sky from me
Monday, 07 November 2005 18:27
that girl has got some oddness to her...

b
Wednesday, 09 November 2005 05:32
Hey,

Nice interaction between two characters that usually don't have much to do with each other.

One suggestion, though: You were kind of hitting us upside the head with the "Wash is making River a sandwich in order to try out fatherhood." Show, don't tell.

I liked how Wash imagined fatherhood aboard Serenity, feeding the baby while Zoe defends the ship. Good job.
Wednesday, 09 November 2005 05:41
SameErtia - Thanks so much for the feedback. Frustrated charries can be a wonderful thing.

AMDOBELL - A compliment coming from you is like a light shinning on my doorway from the rain. Thank you so much!!

Bellona - As to oddness... she does. Gotta love that River (Tatey).

smithandwesson - Thanks for stopping by!!! I totally appreciate the constructive crit and will try and recognize those for myself (a hard thing for me at this point) so please... keep em coming! I so do love all sort of feedback. Thank you for offering it!!!
TEENIERIVER
Friday, 17 February 2006 16:34
I thought that was great how River got inside Wash's soul. She put everything so delicately for him. What a sweetheart. lol

~Christine

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