A River / Wash piece for you.
BUCKY AND BOB do not make an appearance (not really)....................
(Written by Blake and Tatey)
Fall
2517
Onboard Serenity
A baby. Children. Zoe wanted a kid and had taken to thinking on it often, and talking about it just as much. He hadn't had a chance to sit and talk about it too much, given their last run around on a failed job. He figured Mal would call it a success, because they escaped with their lives in tact, but Wash called it another reason to not bring a baby into the world. Not their baby. How could he be the father he wanted when they were being boarded, running, fighting or being shot at every other week? A slight exaggeration perhaps, but still. Book sometimes was the only sanity Wash found to even consider the idea, but on the whole, it was a done deal. A no brainer. A man would have to shoot the healthy horse he was riding on to make more sense than bringing a Zoe-Wash hybrid onto Serenity. Sitting back in his chair, looking out at the planet where everyone was out hauling goods or looking for income, Wash found himself on guard duty of the Girl and patted her hull. "It's just you 'n me again. Havin' ourselves a good conversation." It was easier to talk to Serenity than Zoe about these matters. Serenity didn't talk back and make strong, almost unarguable points. A stand and stretch, Wash headed towards the kitchen and all but jumped out of his skin. "AaaHGH!" He leapt back, his spine hitting the exact, sharp angle of the door. Stiff pain zipped up his bones but that barely had his attention. Thinking he was alone on board, Wash was staring at River on the stairs. "How long have you been sittin' there? You scared the gorram hell outta me." “You were loud,” she explained, ha
Thanks much.
It's cool that your stuff is so well edited. And there are some strong word choices here. For instance:
"Her smile softened with the laughter of a phantom child only she could hear as his pain blossomed warm and fresh inside her."
Good stuff, that.
And hey man.... you should forward me one of your fav. links of art/writing. I always like reading other's work. :)
I agree, she is.
"And hey man.... you should forward me one of your fav. links of art/writing. I always like reading other's work. :)"
Just click on my name. You'll get my most recent blog, which was a list of some of my fav fics, and all of my own stories will be down at the bottom under "My Blue Sun Items."
I messaged you about the other stuff.
Welcome aboard, and keep writing.
I think you captured Wash's frustration beautifully.
You can't take the sky from me
Nice interaction between two characters that usually don't have much to do with each other.
One suggestion, though: You were kind of hitting us upside the head with the "Wash is making River a sandwich in order to try out fatherhood." Show, don't tell.
I liked how Wash imagined fatherhood aboard Serenity, feeding the baby while Zoe defends the ship. Good job.
AMDOBELL - A compliment coming from you is like a light shinning on my doorway from the rain. Thank you so much!!
Bellona - As to oddness... she does. Gotta love that River (Tatey).
smithandwesson - Thanks for stopping by!!! I totally appreciate the constructive crit and will try and recognize those for myself (a hard thing for me at this point) so please... keep em coming! I so do love all sort of feedback. Thank you for offering it!!!
~Christine
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