NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE

POSTED BY: embers
UPDATED: Sunday, January 16, 2005 21:52
VIEWED: 11642
PAGE 1 of 1

EMBERS

Monday, December 20, 2004 4:17 PM

NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE

by Basil Fawlty (otherwise known as John Cleese)

To the citizens of the United States of America, in the light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today.
Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories.
Except Utah, which she does not fancy.
Your new prime minister (the Right Honourable Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections.
Congress and the Senate will be disbanded.

A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary.

Then look up "aluminium." Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour', skipping the letter 'U' is nothing more than laziness on your part. Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters.
You will end your love affair with the letter 'Z' (pronounced 'zed' not 'zee') and the suffix "ize" will be replaced by the suffix "ise." You will learn that the Suffix 'burgh' is pronounced 'burra' e.g. Edinburgh. You are welcome to respell Pittsburgh as 'Pittsberg' if you can't cope with correct pronunciation.
Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary."

Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication.
Look up "interspersed." There will be no more 'bleeps' in the Jerry Springer show.
If you're not old enough to cope with bad language then you shouldn't have chat shows.
When you learn to develop your vocabulary then you won't have to use bad language as often.

2. There is no such thing as "US English." We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of "-ize."

3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It really isn't that hard. English accents are not limited to cockney, upper-class twit or Mancunian (Daphne in Frasier). You will also have to learn how to understand regional accents - Scottish dramas such as "Taggart" will no longer be broadcast with subtitles. W
While we're talking about regions, you must learn that there is no such place as Devonshire in England. The name of the county is "Devon." If you persist in calling it Devonshire, all American States will become "shires" e.g. Texasshire, Floridashire, Louisianashire.

4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys. Hollywood will be required to cast English actors to play English characters. British sit-coms such as "Men Behaving Badly" or "Red Dwarf" will not be re-cast and watered down for a wishy-washy American audience who can't cope with the humour of occasional political incorrectness.

5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen", but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get confused and give up half way through.

6. You should stop playing American "football." There is only one
kind of football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficu

MANIACNUMBERONE

Monday, December 20, 2004 9:06 PM

It sounds fine to me. God save the Queen.
Did I mention I live in Utah?
(By the way, check out aluminum, without the extra "i", on any dictionary website you prefer, click the pronunciation and hear an alternative and just as acceptable version.)

-------------------------------------------
Inara: Who's winning?
Simon: I can't really tell, they don't seem to be playing by any civilized rules that I know.
-------------------------------------------

AURAPTOR

Monday, December 20, 2004 9:58 PM

Does this mean we'll all be forced to enroll into the glorious and legendary British Dental Plan?

I'll need to be reminded which we throw away first...the tooth brush or the dental floss.

" They don't like it when you shoot at 'em. I worked that out myself. "

KELLAINA

Monday, December 20, 2004 10:28 PM

Sounds like Canada.

If nothing we do matters, then all that matters is what we do. -"Angel"

WILDBILL

Monday, December 20, 2004 11:01 PM

So, the sorry little nation we saved 50 years ago wants things their way. Looks like I'm moving to Utah.

A few points:
1 - We could pronounce aluminium the way that it's spelled - except that it sounds stupid as all hell.
2 - Sorry to be the one to break the news but when most people in the world refer to English they mean "US English". You're empire has been over for some time now and all you've got is the gloomy little island that you started with.
3 - Easy for me, Australian accents sound kinda cool - English accents sound oppositewise.
4 - Who cares? All British sitcoms are lame - even Red Dwarf.
5 - I'll stick with the Sex Pistol's rendition.
6 - Notice that that "proper football" and rugby are both played by men in shorts. I'll stay clear.
7 - You can't have my guns but I'll be happy to give you all the bullets you can stand. You limeys tried to take 'em once - didn't work out so well did it?
9 - At least we built good cars at one time. By the way, Japanese cars beat the hell out of the German machines.
12 - At least we have sense enough to drink beer cold.
14 - See "7" above.

TAUSETIPRIME

Monday, December 20, 2004 11:51 PM

Ripping good laugh!

And anyone else interested in reading more commentary by the author should pick up a copy of his video entitled "How to annoy people".

They didnt call it the dark ages because it was dark.

DANFAN

Tuesday, December 21, 2004 12:56 AM

I'll be willing to consider everything except the stuff about using the letter "u" in all those words. It took us 200 years to purge all those unnecessary silent u's. Now they want us to put 'em back? No way!

If he'll back off on the u's then I think we can compromise. Otherwise, I say we fight.

CYBERSNARK

Tuesday, December 21, 2004 3:37 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by embers:
You should stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the 'World Series' for a game which is not played outside of America.

Far be it from me to defend the 'Merkins, but baseball is played outside of the US. Most notably in Japan and here in Canada (who tend to try to be on Britain's side in all this).

And technically, they should be able to vote for their PM.

Also, for the Americans, look up "lieutenant," and note the proper pronounciation. It'll be important momentarily.

-----
We applied the cortical electrodes but were unable to get a neural reaction from either patient.

OLDENGLANDDRY

Tuesday, December 21, 2004 9:25 PM

I'm sorry EMBERS posted this before I had a chance to but it was just too much typing for me.
As for those of you that take offence to this piece of comic relief,you should remember that by doing so you are gloriously re-inforcing the stereotype that the piece is ridiculing.
You should look up Stereotype.
You should look up Ridiculing.
I should probably look them up too cos I'm not sure if I spelt them right.
If you are still up for a fight then by all means send over all the troops you've got and we will bite them with our bad teeth, run over them with our rubish cars and drown them in our warm beer.

EMBERS

Tuesday, December 21, 2004 10:36 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by oldenglanddry:
I'm sorry EMBERS posted this before I had a chance to but it was just too much typing for me.

well, not so much typing as some copying & pasting

but oldenglanddry, I'm shocked that evidently so few people here are familiar w/John Cleese,
and his alter-ego Fawlty...who always insults everyone...
but somehow having my fellow Americans not get it
in no way ruins my pleasure
(it just confirms that we really wouldn't notice)

CYBERSNARK

Wednesday, December 22, 2004 1:57 AM

I got the joke, I just didn't see any reason to run with it.

In fact I used to joke that my previous apartment building had inherited the elevators from Fawlty Towers. Viewers of the show will know what I'm talking about.

-----
We applied the cortical electrodes but were unable to get a neural reaction from either patient.

DANFAN

Wednesday, December 22, 2004 4:38 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by embers:
I'm shocked that evidently so few people here are familiar w/John Cleese,
and his alter-ego Fawlty...who always insults everyone...
but somehow having my fellow Americans not get it
in no way ruins my pleasure
(it just confirms that we really wouldn't notice)

Just to keep the air clear... I got it as well. To be honest, I was just joking about the u's. Bring 'em on.

SOUPCATCHER

Wednesday, December 22, 2004 7:39 AM

Thanks for posting this, Embers!!

I love John Cleese's humor .

There are three kinds of people: fighters, lovers, and screamers.

HUITZIL

Wednesday, December 22, 2004 9:24 AM

the u's are not unneccessary they show the derivation of the word as it used to be said - I think we should all go back to "burruff" as it should be pronounced.

Yes, rugby and football players wear shorts, but as far as I can tell, american football and baseball players wear tights! or maybe leggings?! mmm manly.

I don't really care about aluminium i think its sweet that its pronounced wrong, as with nuclear being pronounced "nuc-e-lar".

On the other hand, the Queen is only really good for tourism, I always get the german and english national anthems mixed up (but then the english royal family is german) and we don't need guns to kill people, thats what cars are for.

IMHO.

___________
the turtle and the wolf are natural enemies

BARNSTORMER

Wednesday, December 22, 2004 2:57 PM

Hey folks, lighten up uh?

I thought it was pretty funny.

John Cleese is a laugh riot in my opinion.

Since when did we Americans loose our sense of humor?

Am I a Lion?... No, I think I'ma tellin' the truth.

BarnStormer

MRSKBORG

Thursday, December 23, 2004 10:04 PM

Embers, thanks I just had a great laugh at this!!!!!!!!!!

"This movie may be a beautiful butterfly, but I loved that damn caterpillar." Joss Whedon.

JRC

Friday, December 24, 2004 2:22 AM

I'm reminded of that phrase, "Don't Tread On Me."

Everyone dies alone.

KNIBBLET

Friday, December 24, 2004 3:19 AM

The Americans who don't find this hysterically funny are generally those who are taking offense to the line about "not electing competent leadership".
They don't like it pointed out to them that Bush is a simpleton who, despite having power over nuclear weapons, doesn't know how to say nuclear weapons.
Those of us who don't feel the need to shelter our glorious leader from any criticism (or exposure to the real world) are more able to laugh at ourselves.

"Just keep walkin, preacher man."

DARKJESTER

Friday, December 24, 2004 3:40 AM

Quote:
7. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry guns. You will no
longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous in public than a vegetable peeler. Because we don't believe you are sensible enough to handle potentially dangerous items, you will require a permit if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

"What about pointed sticks?"

Thanks for the post, embers! Man, I love John Cleese.

MAL "You only gotta scare him."
JAYNE "Pain is scary..."

SIGMANUNKI

Friday, December 24, 2004 5:29 AM

LOL, ROTF!!!

Best read I've had in some time. Though has a lot of truth in it too.

Quote:
Originally posted by DarkJester:

"What about pointed sticks?"

Or a board with nail in it?

----
"Canada being mad at you is like Mr. Rogers throwing a brick through your window." -Jon Stewart, The Daily Show

MACBAKER

Friday, December 24, 2004 7:43 AM

Sorry, but most of our bad reality TV shows are copies of BBC shows. You guys are the reason good shows like Firefly, Angel, and Wonderfalls ended up cancelled and replaced with Nanny 911!

You are the weakest link! Goodbye!

Point 3 Quote: "You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents." Sorry, I've never confused Mel Gibson's accent for John Cleese's!

Point 4 Quote: "Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys." HELLO! You ever watch an episode of Buffy or Angel? Wesley and Giles ARE the good guys!

Point 6 Quote: "The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football." Ever hear of NFL Europe? More American's actually play Soccer than British do! It's the number one amatuer and pro/am sport in the country!!! Don't even mess with Baseball! Outside of Europe, it's the fastest growing sport in the world. In Asia, and Central and South American countries, it's practically a national sport. Baseball is FAR better than Rounders or Cricket!

Point 7 Quote: "You will no longer be allowed to own or carry guns." Good luck on that one! You could try to collect the millions of unregistered guns from those of us who legally own them, but my bet is, it will get very bloody! Check your history books about 200 years back for reference, and LEARN from it!

Point 9 Quote: "All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own good." That's funny, considering that Ford now owns your best auto manufacturers, IE; Jaguar, Aston Martin, and Rover. The German's own the rest, Bentley (VW), Mini and Rolls Royce (BMW). It's also interesting that JD Power now scores Cadillac above Audi, BMW, and Mercedes in quality and owner satisfaction. Motor Trend's top 3 finalists in this year's Car Of The Year, were all American cars (the Corvette, the new Mustang GT, and Chrysler's Hemi powered 300C), none of the European entries made it into the top 5!

Point 10 Quote: "You will learn to make real chips." We do know how to make chips! We put them in a bag and call them Ruffles!

Point 11 Quote: "As a sign of penance 5 grams of sea salt per cup will be added to all tea made within the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, this quantity to be doubled for tea made within the city of Boston itself." That's okay, no one in Boston drinks tea. Coffee is the preferred beverage, which is why there's a Starbucks on every freakin' corner!

Point 14 Quote: "You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers or therapists." You may call them something else, but you have them too (except the guns, which is why the whole REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE stuff will never happen anyway!).

Point 15 Quote: "Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy." We could tell you, but then we'd just have to kill you too! We'll give you a hint; It's all Marilyn's fault!

Point 16 Quote: "Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776)." I think were even, considering we saved your collective asses in WWII. In fact, you owe us, and we expect full payment at the end of the this fiscal year!

Last time I checked, we still have all of ther best military toys (hell, it takes a fleet of your tiny little aircraft carriers, to do what one of our super carriers can do). So good luck with the whole REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE thing. BTW: That flock of birds you just picked up on radar off the coast, is actually a squadron of F-22 Raptors heading for London!

I'd given some thought to movin' off the edge -- not an ideal location -- thinkin' a place in the middle.

SIGMANUNKI

Friday, December 24, 2004 9:14 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by MacBaker:

Point 3 Quote: "You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents." Sorry, I've never confused Mel Gibson's accent for John Cleese's!

1) < sarcasm >And clearly because you can make the distinction, others won't as well < /sarcasm >
See comment 2.

Quote:
Originally posted by MacBaker:

Point 4 Quote: "Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys." HELLO! You ever watch an episode of Buffy or Angel? Wesley and Giles ARE the good guys!

2) I'm not sure that you are aware of the quote "There is an exception to every rule." ie You can't quote one case as a counter example and expect the rule to go away. This isn't math, it's society.

Quote:
Originally posted by MacBaker:

Point 6 Quote: "The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football." Ever hear of NFL Europe? More American's actually play Soccer than British do! It's the number one amatuer and pro/am sport in the country!!! Don't even mess with Baseball! Outside of Europe, it's the fastest growing sport in the world. In Asia, and Central and South American countries, it's practically a national sport. Baseball is FAR better than Rounders or Cricket!

3) But what percentage plays which sports in what countries. That is what matters. That is what tells you how big a deal it is. You can't say more play in the US and that proves something, because as you see below the US has... more people.

UK: Population: 59.6 million (National Statistics, 2003)
US: Population: 294 million (US Census Bureau estimate, 2004)

Quote:
Originally posted by MacBaker:

Point 7 Quote: "You will no longer be allowed to own or carry guns." Good luck on that one! You could try to collect the millions of unregistered guns from those of us who legally own them, but my bet is, it will get very bloody! Check your history books about 200 years back for reference, and LEARN from it!

4) Why do you guys always go to violence to solve your problems?

Quote:
Originally posted by MacBaker:

Point 9 Quote: "All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own good." That's funny, considering that Ford now owns your best auto manufacturers, IE; Jaguar, Aston Martin, and Rover. The German's own the rest, Bentley (VW), Mini and Rolls Royce (BMW). It's also interesting that JD Power now scores Cadillac above Audi, BMW, and Mercedes in quality and owner satisfaction. Motor Trend's top 3 finalists in this year's Car Of The Year, were all American cars (the Corvette, the new Mustang GT, and Chrysler's Hemi powered 300C), none of the European entries made it into the top 5!

5) Perhaps you missed the part where he said that he'd introduct you to German cars didn't you.

Quote:
Originally posted by MacBaker:

Point 10 Quote: "You will learn to make real chips." We do know how to make chips! We put them in a bag and call them Ruffles!

6) Maybe you should re-read this one.

Quote:
Originally posted by MacBaker:

Point 11 Quote: "As a sign of penance 5 grams of sea salt per cup will be added to all tea made within the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, this quantity to be doubled for tea made within the city of Boston itself." That's okay, no one in Boston drinks tea. Coffee is the preferred beverage, which is why there's a Starbucks on every freakin' corner!

7) You are aware that Starbuck sells Tea as well, right?

Quote:
Originally posted by MacBaker:

Point 14 Quote: "You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers or therapists." You may call them something else, but you have them too (except the guns, which is why the whole REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE stuff will never happen anyway!).

8) I do believe that you've missed his entire point.

Quote:
Originally posted by MacBaker:

Point 16 Quote: "Tax c

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MACBAKER

Friday, December 24, 2004 10:35 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by SigmaNunki:
Quote:
Originally posted by MacBaker:

Point 3 Quote: "You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents." Sorry, I've never confused Mel Gibson's accent for John Cleese's!

1) < sarcasm >And clearly because you can make the distinction, others won't as well < /sarcasm >
See comment 2.

Sorry, most of us CAN tell the difference. Nicole Kidman and Judi Dench don't sound at all alike. I could give you other examples, but the facts seem to be beyond your comprehension.

Quote:
Originally posted by MacBaker:

Point 4 Quote: "Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys." HELLO! You ever watch an episode of Buffy or Angel? Wesley and Giles ARE the good guys!

2) I'm not sure that you are aware of the quote "There is an exception to every rule." ie You can't quote one case as a counter example and expect the rule to go away. This isn't math, it's society.

One case? Can't you read? I clearly gave two! They were just the obvious examples, but hardly an exception to any rule. Obi Wan Kenobi, half the cast of Farscape, etc.

Quote:
Originally posted by MacBaker:

Point 6 Quote: "The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football." Ever hear of NFL Europe? More American's actually play Soccer than British do! It's the number one amatuer and pro/am sport in the country!!! Don't even mess with Baseball! Outside of Europe, it's the fastest growing sport in the world. In Asia, and Central and South American countries, it's practically a national sport. Baseball is FAR better than Rounders or Cricket!

3) But what percentage plays which sports in what countries. That is what matters. That is what tells you how big a deal it is. You can't say more play in the US and that proves something, because as you see below the US has... more people.

UK: Population: 59.6 million (National Statistics, 2003)
US: Population: 294 million (US Census Bureau estimate, 2004)

You just skip over any facts you don't like, don't you! Soccer is the number one Am and Pro/Am sport in the US! Period!!!

Quote:
Originally posted by MacBaker:

Point 7 Quote: "You will no longer be allowed to own or carry guns." Good luck on that one! You could try to collect the millions of unregistered guns from those of us who legally own them, but my bet is, it will get very bloody! Check your history books about 200 years back for reference, and LEARN from it!

4) Why do you guys always go to violence to solve your problems?

You seem to miss the point. There won't be any violence, until some fop tries to take our guns. Honest lawful gun owners in the US only use our guns for self defense. Unlike you, we don't choose to be victims!

Quote:
Originally posted by MacBaker:

Point 9 Quote: "All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own good." That's funny, considering that Ford now owns your best auto manufacturers, IE; Jaguar, Aston Martin, and Rover. The German's own the rest, Bentley (VW), Mini and Rolls Royce (BMW). It's also interesting that JD Power now scores Cadillac above Audi, BMW, and Mercedes in quality and owner satisfaction. Motor Trend's top 3 finalists in this year's Car Of The Year, were all American cars (the Corvette, the new Mustang GT, and Chrysler's Hemi powered 300C), none of the European entries made it into the top 5!

5) Perhaps you missed the part where he said that he'd introduct you to German cars didn't you.

Nope, in fact I clearly mentioned that NO Euorpean cars (including German) made it into the final five, for Car of the Year.

Quote:
Originally posted by MacBaker:

Point 10 Quote: "You will learn to make real chips." We do know how to make chips! We put them in a bag and call them Ruffles!

6) Maybe you should re-read this one.

No, we understand what you believe "chips" ar

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GAVIDA

Saturday, December 25, 2004 3:22 AM

Ah, come on Folks, this should be a fun thread where everyone pulls everyone's leg!

And to do so:

Quote:

Point 9 Quote: "All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own good." That's funny, considering that Ford now owns your best auto manufacturers, IE; Jaguar, Aston Martin, and Rover. The German's own the rest, Bentley (VW), Mini and Rolls Royce (BMW). It's also interesting that JD Power now scores Cadillac above Audi, BMW, and Mercedes in quality and owner satisfaction. Motor Trend's top 3 finalists in this year's Car Of The Year, were all American cars (the Corvette, the new Mustang GT, and Chrysler's Hemi powered 300C), none of the European entries made it into the top 5!

Let me guess, JD Powers is an american institution and Motor Trend is an american magazine?

Keep flying,

Gavida

PS: Man, I love John Cleese!

SOUPCATCHER

Saturday, December 25, 2004 12:05 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by MacBaker
Thank you for being an example of the typical British self absorbed fop. You people actually still believe you have an Empire! LMAO!

When I read this I just had to paraphrase from my favorite exchange in the movie "Bottle Rocket" (done in my best Luke Wilson impersonation - aw, who am I kidding, I can't do a Luke Wilson impersonation):

SoupCatcher: What part of Britain are you from, SigmaNunki?
SigmaNunki: Canada.

I now cease and desist this digression.

Peace on Earth. Goodwill to everyone

DAIKATH

Saturday, December 25, 2004 3:06 PM

Quote:
German Customer:I did not start it!

Basil Falty: You invaded poland!

even though i dutch and we do things slightly differnet then the british (we drive on the right and we call lager beer(yay Heineken)) it was fun to read. But that above quote should put everything in perspective after his comment about german cars.

MACBAKER

Saturday, December 25, 2004 3:21 PM

Quote:
Let me guess, JD Powers is an american institution and Motor Trend is an american magazine?

Keep flying,

Gavida

PS: Man, I love John Cleese!

Yes, but JD Power uses a sampling from not just US owners, but of owners in Europe and Asia (on cars that are also availible in those areas). Motor Trend has included judges from sister publications in europe for years now.

Let's be honest though. Most people have no idea where their car was built anymore. Honda's Civic Si is built in England. Saab's new sport wagon is a Subaru WRX with a new nose, and Saab's new SUV is a rebadged Chevy. Lamborghini's new Gallardo is built by new owners Audi. BMW's X3 and X5 SUVs are built in America. So are most of the trucks and SUVs built by Toyota and Nissan. Half of the Ford F-150's sold, are built in Canada. Half of Jaguar's model line are based on Fords. The new Mazda 3 and Volvo's S40 are Ford Focus based cars. The Toyota Matrix and Pontiac Vibe are built in on the same line in a US plant. Mercedes and BMW both outsource their new automatic transmissions from an American manufacturer. The Honda Accord sold in North America is an American car. It's built in Ohio (has been for over a decade), and it's not sold anywhere else. The Accord sold in Europe is a smaller sedan, and sold in North America as the Acura TSX.

P.S. I love John Cleese too. I spotted him driving in L.A. a few months back, and he was behind the wheel of an American Icon, the new Corvette! I also spotted Paris and Nikki Hilton the same day. They were drivin a Bentley Continental GT. Something seems wrong with that!

I'd given some thought to movin' off the edge -- not an ideal location -- thinkin' a place in the middle.

SIGMANUNKI

Saturday, December 25, 2004 6:26 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by MacBaker:

It seems that you are the one that's fallen for propaganda. If we hadn't assisited in the European theater during WWII, you'd all still be under Nazi rule! Fact are facts. Our Lend/Lease program helped you before we entered the war, and our manufacturing power and inexahustable supply of bombers broke the Nazi war machines back! Believe what you wish, but history is clear on who beat the Nazi's, the American air power on one front, and the Russian Army on the other front! England is just a footnote!

Thank you for being an example of the typical British self absorbed fop. You people actually still believe you have an Empire! LMAO!

1) I'm not British, I'm Canadian. Perhaps you shouldn't make such assumptions.

2) I appreciate that you continue to provide as an example of the sterotype that this comedy makes fun of (yes it is comedy).

----
"Canada being mad at you is like Mr. Rogers throwing a brick through your window." -Jon Stewart, The Daily Show

MOHRSTOUTBEARD

Saturday, December 25, 2004 8:07 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by wildbill:
4 - Who cares? All British sitcoms are lame

Bullshit.

"You've just gotta go ahead and change the captain of your brainship, because he's drunk at the wheel."

MACBAKER

Sunday, December 26, 2004 4:25 AM

1) I'm not British, I'm Canadian. Perhaps you shouldn't make such assumptions.

There's a difference?

2) I appreciate that you continue to provide as an example of the sterotype that this comedy makes fun of (yes it is comedy).

The comedy goes both ways (something you seem to be missing). It's humorous that the the author (not really John Cleese BTW) imagines a world where Great Britian could actually revoke something they never gave in the first place, but was taken from them by force. Revolution is a concept the english never seem to understand, despite being on the wrong side of several revolutions during their history. Funny how that concept seems to escape many from Canada too. Hmmmm!

I'd given some thought to movin' off the edge -- not an ideal location -- thinkin' a place in the middle.

SIGMANUNKI

Sunday, December 26, 2004 5:35 AM

This last post just tells me how uninformed you are about matters outside your own boarders. Keep them coming, your just proving my point more and more with each post.

----
"Canada being mad at you is like Mr. Rogers throwing a brick through your window." -Jon Stewart, The Daily Show

MACBAKER

Sunday, December 26, 2004 2:57 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by SigmaNunki:
This last post just tells me how uninformed you are about matters outside your own boarders. Keep them coming, your just proving my point more and more with each post.

----
"Canada being mad at you is like Mr. Rogers throwing a brick through your window." -Jon Stewart, The Daily Show

As do yours! With your level of self importance, someone might end up building a statue to you! Not here mind you, but there has to be gulible enough people in some crappy town that would think everything you say is gold!

I'd given some thought to movin' off the edge -- not an ideal location -- thinkin' a place in the middle.

SIGMANUNKI

Sunday, December 26, 2004 7:49 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by MacBaker:

As do yours! With your level of self importance, someone might end up building a statue to you! Not here mind you, but there has to be gulible enough people in some crappy town that would think everything you say is gold!

I have no idea where you're getting this self importance thing, perhaps you should enlighten me as to how you've come to this conclusion.

And while your at it, perhaps you should also tell the tale as how you have come to the conclusion that I have no idea what goes on outside my boarders.

Inquiring minds want to know.

----
"Canada being mad at you is like Mr. Rogers throwing a brick through your window." -Jon Stewart, The Daily Show

CAPNRAHN

Tuesday, December 28, 2004 5:06 PM

Brilliant bit of posting, SigmaNunki!!!

MacBaker - seems you have ruined a nice fluffy comedy post and SEEM to be trying to make it a flame-war.

You must be a tad too tetchy after the holidays, I suppose.

Lighten up! The New Year is coming!!!

"Remember, there is only ONE absolute - There ARE NO absolutes!!!"

SIGMANUNKI

Wednesday, December 29, 2004 10:25 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by CapnRahn:

Brilliant bit of posting, SigmaNunki!!!

Thanks

although I do regret having been a part of taking this thread off topic for a bit.

But to return to something similar to the thread topic, has anyone here seen Fawlty Towers?

I've just snaged it and know that its humour is more adult than Monty Python. Is it along the lines of this article? Just wondering what to expect (damn work taking up all my time...).

----
"Canada being mad at you is like Mr. Rogers throwing a brick through your window." -Jon Stewart, The Daily Show

KNIBBLET

Wednesday, December 29, 2004 12:37 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by CapnRahn:
*name snipped* - seems you have ruined a nice fluffy comedy post and SEEM to be trying to make it a flame-war.

Some people aren't happy unless everyone else is miserable. This is especially true at the holidays.
The secret is to NOT look for insult unless it is clear that insult is being given. If insult is actually being given, answer with unparalleled kindness.

"Just keep walkin, preacher man."

PHOEBE

Wednesday, December 29, 2004 10:00 PM

Hey hey hey guys, come on now.

This is NOT!!!!!!! meant to be serious

There's no need to dissect the whole thing. Its just a piece of humour. I know that I have seen similar things based on the UK and LAUGHED! Cause its all meant with the best of intentions and I know for a FACT that the person who wrote that (I saw where it originated from) didn't have insults in mind. Please don't turn humour into friction between us, please!! Humour the poor little English teen here a min!

With that said, laugh or don't laugh, but at least appreciate its not meant seriously!

RUE

Thursday, December 30, 2004 2:17 AM

Quote:
Real chips are thick cut and fried in animal fat.

And served with vinegar, right? Not ketchup, catsup, ketsup ....

TAUSETIPRIME

Thursday, December 30, 2004 2:25 AM

I completely agree that this isnt supposed to be serious.

I, also, would like to mention, that my previous post in this thread was SERIOUS.

For my 13 birthday, my former evil step-mother gave me a a copy of a video called "How to annoy people" whose main writer was John Cleese. I wish I still had it, it was VERY instructive!

I think he is a creative and ingenious writer, and I think we should all listen to what he says. If for nothing more than to hear laughter in a world filled with not enough of it.

They didnt call it the dark ages because it was dark.

OBSESSED

Friday, January 7, 2005 8:12 AM

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
It was meant to be funny! Not offensive and rude, just funny. Learn to take a joke. Please. Not every comment is cause for offense and threats of violence. Everyone should be able to laugh at themselves. Not being able to tends to indicate some serious insecurities and just might drive you crazy. Here's the thing: no person or country is perfect; everyone has flaws. So acting like the USA (or anywhere else) is above reproach is silly. Again, learn to take a joke.
Also, how long are we going to use WWII as an argument? It's over. Winning a war half a century ago does not give us the right to be jackasses now.

Just a small note, I think it's "How to Irritate People" rather than "annoy"..... might make it easier to find if anyone is looking for it (I managed to find a couple copies on eBay for not to much)

Huitzil, you beat me to it about the tights. Thank you Thank you Thank you for saying it.

Book: I'd forgotten - you're moonlighting as a criminal mastermind now.
Simon: No, but I'm thinking about growing a big black mustache. I'm a traditionalist.

FIFINELLA

Friday, January 7, 2005 10:18 PM

Just for everyone's personal store of knowledge--I remember this forward floating around after the last presidential election--when we really did fail to elect a leader. Someone just added some more clauses and sent it around again--more appropriate last time, but still funny.

OLDENGLANDDRY

Saturday, January 8, 2005 9:14 PM

OBSESSED, I could'nt agree more. It seems to have become a sad and disturbing trend on this site that almost every thread leads to a slanging-match of some kind. When I was a lurker I used to come here everyday for FIREFLY info, RPG ideas or just a good snigger. Now it just makes me angry. And the temptation to bad-mouth the people that bad-mouth first is getting to much. Think I had better call it a day.

WEASY

Sunday, January 9, 2005 5:08 PM

I only found this site yesterday... I'm not entirely sure if I'll stick around.
But a big yay for John Cleese and being able to laugh at yourself!
I went to the globe (the reconstruction of shakespeare's original theatre) a while ago and loads of people paid to have sponsored paving slabs in the courtyard there (to raise money) including John Cleese and another of the Monty Python guys, anyway the other dude paid double to have them spell John Cleese's name wrong!
This is what laughing at yourself is.
Everyone. Please learn how.

EMBERS

Sunday, January 9, 2005 5:34 PM

Weasy, don't be in a hurry to run away...
Have you been in the Blue Sun Room to see the pretty WPs and the fanfic?
This is a fun and friendly site....

most of the time

WEASY

Sunday, January 9, 2005 6:15 PM

Okay. I'll go look.
I was actually looking for firefly messgae boards though because I haven't seen it yet but am being lent the DVDs in a couple of weeks. I wanted to know how the fans saw it, because I've mostly been hearing about it from the very divided Buffy fans. (they're divided because some of them blame Firefly on Joss spreading himself too thin and Buffy getting a bit crap for a while - but some of them think it's amazing so... I'm open-minded, but the fans tended to be the people who really know what's good and what's not - not reviewers so: lurking I came.)

EMBERS

Sunday, January 9, 2005 6:49 PM

well Weasly, I have bought eleven sets of Firefly DVDs and have given them out to friends and family because I love the show that much...

and I have had 99% success, as far as I can tell, only those who are dead set against any kind of sci-fi end up disliking it.
Everyone else I know has loved it as much as me.

I was a huge Buffy & Angel fan first of course, but I can't blame Joss for having new ideas for a new show, and then falling in love with the wonderful cast he put together (I can't blame him because I love them too).

I don't think Buffy would have ended any differently, or the WB would have refrained from cancelling Angel, if Joss had not made Firefly.
So personally I think that that question is moot.

If you love Joss' writing, then I think you are going to find a great deal to love in Firefly!
JMPO

MONTANAGIRL

Sunday, January 9, 2005 8:18 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Weasy:
...the other dude paid double to have them spell John Cleese's name wrong!

Just because I love the Pythons, I have to know which one did that.

Packer fans welcome.
All others tolerated.

SIGMANUNKI

Monday, January 10, 2005 12:49 AM

Weasy:
The people here in the FF threads are friendly and I've come to feel at home here (pretty much right away actually ). It's a good bunch of people here So, I'd recommend sticking around. It's fun here for the most part.

But the political threads can get somewhat heated, which is why I try to participate in only one or two at a time (they tend to be time consuming and I typically have more important things to deal with).

As for Buffy being crap for a good chunk of the last season. I think that this was unavoidable. I mean, what do you do with characters that have said and done all they can say and do? What happens when ideas start running thin? It was good prior to season 6 but then started to have problems. Season 6 is where the problems started, even though there are some gems in there. It was just its time to go.

As for angle, it's the DVD's that killed it. The company decided it would be a "good idea" to start selling the DVD's while the show was still on the air. Problem is, that they get there money from comercials, especially on re-runs. So, how many people will watch a re-run when they have the DVD without them blasted commericals to interupt the fun? Effectively none. Basically, stupid business decision results in cancellation of show.

----
"Canada being mad at you is like Mr. Rogers throwing a brick through your window." -Jon Stewart, The Daily Show

WEASY

Monday, January 10, 2005 11:39 AM

Thanks for wanting me to stay!
And actually that's an interesting point about the cancellation of Angel I didn't really think about how DVD sales would affect things but still, they did have increasing ratings on teh last season so it was still pretty pointless to cancel it.
In some ways I think if Joss had been around there would have been less pontless B/S sex in season six and that's what put a lot of people off Buffy - but I find myself forgiving him because everyone tells me firefly is so great...
Sorry this is all completely off topic for this board!

WEASY

Thursday, January 13, 2005 9:20 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by montanagirl:
Quote:
Originally posted by Weasy:
...the other dude paid double to have them spell John Cleese's name wrong!

Just because I love the Pythons, I have to know which one did that.

Packer fans welcome.
All others tolerated.

Sorry - Packer? I think I missed that one...
anyway, took me a while to get back to you because I couldn't remember and it turns out I got it the wrong way round -
John Cleese paid double to have Michael Palin's name spelt Michael Pallin.

MONTANAGIRL

Thursday, January 13, 2005 7:46 PM

I love the Pythons! Thanks for getting back to me. (Palin is my favorite.)

And just so you're not confused anymore, the Green Bay Packers are a football team.

Packer fans welcome.
All others tolerated.

CONNORFLYNN

Thursday, January 13, 2005 8:03 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by rue:
Quote:
Real chips are thick cut and fried in animal fat.

And served with vinegar, right? Not ketchup, catsup, ketsup ....

ROFLMAO..I just snarfed a whole can of Pepsi over that..too funny

CONNORFLYNN

Thursday, January 13, 2005 8:09 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by MacBaker:
Quote:
Originally posted by SigmaNunki:
This last post just tells me how uninformed you are about matters outside your own boarders. Keep them coming, your just proving my point more and more with each post.

----
"Canada being mad at you is like Mr. Rogers throwing a brick through your window." -Jon Stewart, The Daily Show

As do yours! With your level of self importance, someone might end up building a statue to you! Not here mind you, but there has to be gulible enough people in some crappy town that would think everything you say is gold!

I'd given some thought to movin' off the edge -- not an ideal location -- thinkin' a place in the middle.

Speaking of statues hehehe.. How's about a rousing Rendition of "The Hero of Canton" done in Pythonesque without foregoing the blessed mention of Spam..every other word.

STEWIE

Sunday, January 16, 2005 9:52 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by wildbill:
So, the sorry little nation we saved 50 years ago wants things their way. Looks like I'm moving to Utah.

Oh you mean that war that was 60 years ago?? Please .... there is a thing called a grip..get one. If you can't even get the decade right you should'nt even think you have any historical grasp of what happened...that war turned up LATE to out of the goodness of your hearts...yeah right... check the news, Brits have been requested to help you out of hotspots in Iraq numerous times during this war, At least britian was in the war in Iraq with you guys from the start and did'nt turn up near the end because our country was under attack..... so debt (if there was any) well and truely repaid..

A few points:
1 - We could pronounce aluminium the way that it's spelled - except that it sounds stupid as all hell.
(who cares its a joke, don't get nationalistic)

2 - Sorry to be the one to break the news but when most people in the world refer to English they mean "US English". You're empire has been over for some time now and all you've got is the gloomy little island that you started with.

(wrong again, we still own australia and canada, though we are by no means imperial any more we still are the soverign for many areas... bermuda is ours too and the british virgin islands etc.. the american empire consisted of what exactly???))
3 - Easy for me, Australian accents sound kinda cool - English accents sound oppositewise.(now yer just rude)
4 - Who cares? All British sitcoms are lame - even Red Dwarf. (again thats subjective)
5 - I'll stick with the Sex Pistol's rendition.(but the sex pistols are british too...how dare you listen to them when you hate brits :p)
6 - Notice that that "proper football" and rugby are both played by men in shorts. I'll stay clear. (yeah because real mean don't need armour for sports)
7 - You can't have my guns but I'll be happy to give you all the bullets you can stand. You limeys tried to take 'em once - didn't work out so well did it? (now this is where you eat humble pie... 1812 mean anything to you???.. you know when you decided to fight us a second time?? and um... surrendered?... yeah little untaught in american schools that fact)
9 - At least we built good cars at one time. By the way, Japanese cars beat the hell out of the German machines.
12 - At least we have sense enough to drink beer cold. (you don't know what beer is... you drink something called larger and call it beer.... we have american "beers" here too but we know they are just watered down largers)
14 - See "7" above. (whoop whoop yeha, slow golf clap)

I'm sorry if anyone is offended, but this retort is given in good faith.. Those that were offended by the original joke.. Keep your guns and you high crime statistics... really I don't care if ya'll kill each other...

Btw we celebrate July 4th too... cept we call it thanksgiving