A thread dedicated strictly to Mal-licious

POSTED BY: BadgersHat
UPDATED: Wednesday, February 2, 2005 01:56
VIEWED: 28535
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MALICIOUS

Wednesday, January 12, 2005 11:48 PM (P)

Quote:
Originally posted by TheRealMe:
I mean, they have faucets there! And door hinges! And... and... grout!

Grout you say? I LOVE grout!

Mal-Licious's ode to grout:

Grout. It comes in all the colors of the grouty rainbow. Sanded and smooth. Avec latex and sans latex. Sealed and unsealed. Grout is great. Grout is good. Let us thank grout for holding our ceramic tiles in place so darn well.

The end.

Mal-licious

Co-Holder of the Red Bell from Hell

THEREALME

Thursday, January 13, 2005 2:24 AM (P)

Xenocide:

If I do make it there, it will be at the whim of my company's training policy and budget. But if it does work out, I will probably announce it here and arrange to meet folks in a mall someplace. Arundel Mills, maybe? Dunno. I'd be open to suggestions.

This won't be until May or June, though.

Mal-licious:

Indeed, grout, and its cousin spackle, are cornerstones of our civilization!

The Real Me

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you.)

MALICIOUS

Thursday, January 13, 2005 9:45 PM (P)

Spackle is the poor, down-trodden cousin of grout. Grout RULES. Just wanted everyone to know where I stand on the matter. I do not want any further confusion.

Mal-licious

Co-Holder of the Red Bell from Hell

RAT

Thursday, January 13, 2005 11:29 PM (P)

Quote:
Originally posted by Malicious:
Spackle is the poor, down-trodden cousin of grout. Grout RULES. Just wanted everyone to know where I stand on the matter. I do not want any further confusion.

Where do you stand on mud!

-Ratboy

MALICIOUS

Friday, January 14, 2005 1:18 AM (P)

I would HOPE to be standing on some chivalrous gentleman's coat, as befits the likes of moi.

Mal-licious

Co-Holder of the Red Bell from Hell

RAT

Friday, January 14, 2005 2:15 AM (P)

But how do you feel about mud.

-Ratboy

THEREALME

Friday, January 14, 2005 6:58 AM (P)

* The Real Me sighs, then takes his coat off and spreads it out on the ground before Mal-licious. Then he bends down to scoop up some mud in his hand, and makes a fist. It squirts out from between his fingers. *

Feels "squishy" to me.

The Real Me

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you.)

RAT

Friday, January 14, 2005 8:36 AM (P)

The Real You could ask Mal-licious to step around the mud!

And, why would you feel the mud, I mean that's just silly!

-Ratboy

MALICIOUS

Friday, January 14, 2005 8:45 PM (P)

Typically, I am indifferent towards mud. Unless it is slung at me. Then I become vehemently opposed to it.

Mal-licious

Co-Holder of the Red Bell from Hell

RAT

Friday, January 14, 2005 9:34 PM (P)

What did the mud do to you. It seems to me you should be malicious at the sling'er!

-Ratboy

MALICIOUS

Saturday, January 15, 2005 3:42 AM (P)

Hey, you asked me how I "felt" about mud. That's how I "feel" about it. You did not indicate that logic was required.

Any other inanimate things you want my opinion on? Bring 'em on.

Mal-licious

Co-Holder of the Red Bell from Hell

THEREALME

Saturday, January 15, 2005 3:56 AM (P)

Quote:
Originally posted by Rat:
The Real You could ask Mal-licious to step around the mud!

-Ratboy

* The Real Me blinks in surprise. *

You think that I should… < heh heh > ask…

* A great smile spreads across The Real Me’s face. *

Ask Mal-licious to...

* The Real Me glances at Mal-licious, then breaks into a fit of uncontrollable laughter. Soon The Real Me is shaking in mirth, unable to even draw a breath. *

* Before long, The Real Me regains control of himself. Still chucking, he wipes away tears, shaking his head. *

Oh, Rat! That was a good one. You must be new here!

Quote:
Originally posted by Rat:

To Mal-licious:

What did the mud do to you. It seems to me you should be malicious at the sling'er!

-Ratboy

Actually, it is my understanding that Mal-licious’ alias has nothing to do with her temperament (which I would most accurately describe as “regal”), but is, in fact, merely a contraction of “Malcolm Reynolds = Delicious”.

The Real Me

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you.)

HARDWARE

Saturday, January 15, 2005 4:27 AM (P)

Quote:
Originally posted by Malicious:
Typically, I am indifferent towards mud. Unless it is slung at me. Then I become vehemently opposed to it.

You must be vehemently opposed to it an awful lot!

The more I get to know people the more I like my dogs.

RAT

Saturday, January 15, 2005 4:30 AM (P)

Quote:
Originally posted by Malicious:
Hey, you asked me how I "felt" about mud. That's how I "feel" about it. You did not indicate that logic was required.

I meant, how do you feel about mud as a building material.

Quote:
Any other inanimate things you want my opinion on? Bring 'em on.

Yes, what's your opinion about cheese?

-Ratboy

RAT

Saturday, January 15, 2005 4:43 AM (P)

Quote:
Originally posted by TheRealMe:
Oh, Rat! That was a good one. You must be new here!

So, I am new here, look at my profile.

Quote:
merely a contraction of “Malcolm Reynolds = Delicious”.

I know that, it was a joke!

-Ratboy

THEREALME

Saturday, January 15, 2005 5:04 AM (P)

Quote:
Originally posted by Rat:
Quote:
Originally posted by TheRealMe:
Oh, Rat! That was a good one. You must be new here!

So, I am new here, look at my profile.

-Ratboy

So I did; it was a joke!

Hey, Rat, feel free to join us in the Treehouse. We could use some more members since some of the old ones haven't been seen since we had the Eldritch Horror Inola Teg as our guest. That Teggy! Always clowning around!

The Real Me

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you.)

MALICIOUS

Saturday, January 15, 2005 6:11 PM (P)

Quote:
Originally posted by Rat:
I ment, how do you feel about mud as a building material.

...what's your opinion about cheese?

1) Mud as a building material: I feel that in an acrid climate it can be useful. Adobe springs to mind. However, I live in the north eastern part of these United States and do not wish for my home to be washed down the sewers.

2) Cheese: I feel favorable toward many types of cheese. EXCEPT as a building material.

Mal-licious

Co-Holder of the Red Bell from Hell

MALICIOUS

Saturday, January 15, 2005 6:13 PM (P)

Quote:
Originally posted by Hardware:
Quote:
Originally posted by Malicious:
Typically, I am indifferent towards mud. Unless it is slung at me. Then I become vehemently opposed to it.

You must be vehemently opposed to it an awful lot!

Since you are now my good friend, I will let that slide. (Get it? Mud? Slide? Mudslide? ahhh, nevermind.)

Mal-licious

Co-Holder of the Red Bell from Hell

RAT

Monday, January 17, 2005 1:07 AM (P)

Quote:
Originally posted by Malicious:
I feel favorable toward many types of cheese. EXCEPT as a building material.

What types of cheees to be exact?

-Ratboy

MALICIOUS

Monday, January 17, 2005 9:44 PM (P)

Quote:
Originally posted by Rat:
What types of cheees to be exact?

Lord above! You're as bad as Zoid is/was with my hair color!

I like mozzerella on my sandwiches, brie on my crackers and muenster as the chinking between the logs on a log home. Happy??

Mal-licious

Co-Holder of the Red Bell from Hell

THATWEIRDGIRL

Monday, January 17, 2005 10:20 PM (P)

cheesed is nice, to be sure, but what about my shoes? Huh? No one has offered to clean them for me. They are looking a bit scruffy and need a good polishing. I understand if worshiping my shoes is hard to get into, but I promise it can be enjoyable.

i once had six young men that regularly took care of my shoes. They were social outcasts and dorks but they loved my laces! Unfortunately, a change of locale lost me my shoe minions.

Recently I realised my shoes have been sad. They miss the long conversations and tight bows of toatal adoration.

I ask again, what about my shoes?

www.thatweirdgirl.com

HARDWARE

Monday, January 17, 2005 10:59 PM (P)

Quote:
Originally posted by thatweirdgirl:

I ask again, what about my shoes?

www.thatweirdgirl.com

As this thread takes a turn for the weirder.

The more I get to know people the more I like my dogs.

ZOID

Monday, January 17, 2005 11:35 PM (P)

Oh, Milady of the Varicolored Tresses, Mmmm-Ahhh!-'Licious:

I grovel like the worthless cur I am, for not having invoked Your Name in other threads I have posted to. But, I thought you had 'gone off' me, since you hadn't deigned to respond to my last couple of posts, re: Yourself. Not that I'm implying that Your Worshipfulness should acknowledge my existence; goddesses do as goddesses will. I just figured the other boy-toys were proving sufficient for Your needs, and that my meager talents were no longer required or desired.

That's not an excuse, it's a reason. Really! Please, don't beat me, Miss Ma'am!

Slavishly,

zoid

P.S.
And I sure as hell wasn't going to mention you on Loni's thread. I've got enough competition already, without that guy ruining the bell curve. Mentioning ~lissa was safe, since she doesn't pay me any attention, of any kind. (She's got standards and discernment, apparently.) If Loni wants to adore you, he's gonna have to stalk you using his own wiles, like everybody else.
_________________________________________________

"Burn the land and boil the sea, you can't take the sky from me." The Ballad of Serenity

MALICIOUS

Tuesday, January 18, 2005 12:26 AM (P)

TWG,

I am having trouble understanding why you are in my thread talking about your shoes. Run along now and go back to the treehouse, ok? Silly girl.

Mal-licious

Co-Holder of the Red Bell from Hell

THATWEIRDGIRL

Tuesday, January 18, 2005 12:52 AM (P)

i'm practicing highjacking. I thought learning at your feet was the best place.

*wrings hands nervously. twg bows and slowly backs from the thread*

My most high one, I'll head back to the floating air tree boat.

www.thatweirdgirl.com

MALICIOUS

Tuesday, January 18, 2005 1:17 AM (P)

(Mal-licious pats TWG on the head)

Awww, honey, it was a very good try! (Mal-licious smiles in a condescending manner)

Unfortunately, I guard this thread myself (I do not trust anyone else to police it to my standards) and I notice these things pretty quickly. I try to nip them in the bud before they get too far out of hand. Haken does his best, but sometimes trolls get in. I'm not implying YOU are a troll! Haha! Of course not! No, in this instance I am stating it flat out*. In a jokey way of course.

*Do NOT take what this woman says seriously. She does not have a serious bone in her body. Unless you count that time she choked on a serious bone...

Mal-licious

Co-Holder of the Red Bell from Hell

ZOID

Tuesday, January 18, 2005 1:32 AM (P)

The One For Whom The Thread Is Named said:

Quote:
...*Do NOT take what this woman says seriously. She does not have a serious bone in her body. Unless you count that time she choked on a serious bone...

Anyone we know?

v/r,
-zed

P.S.
You're not supposed to eat the sacrifice, Mal.

MALICIOUS

Tuesday, January 18, 2005 1:36 AM (P)

Quote:
Originally posted by zoid:
Anyone we know? You're not supposed to eat the sacrifice, Mal.

Damn! I keep forgetting that rule!

Anyone seen Jefe lately? Mighty tasty man, there...

Mal-licious

Co-Holder of the Red Bell from Hell

FIREFLOOZYSUZIE

Tuesday, January 18, 2005 1:41 AM (P)

Hey Malllllllicious,

RobNotRick and I have passed around a couple notes on the NJ Browncoat thread about maybe it might be fun to meetup some browncoat hooligans in Atlantic City. Would you consider that a decent notion?

With utmost adoration, respect, and non-hijackingness,

Suze the Floozy,
With new kitten on lap trying to rip my arm off

RAT

Tuesday, January 18, 2005 3:06 AM (P)

Quote:
Originally posted by Malicious:

I like mozzerella on my sandwiches, brie on my crackers and muenster as the chinking between the logs on a log home. Happy??

um No, what kind of crackers?

-Ratboy

THEREALME

Tuesday, January 18, 2005 4:53 AM (P)

Quote:
Originally posted by zoid:
Oh, Milady of the Varicolored Tresses, Mmmm-Ahhh!-'Licious:

I grovel like the worthless cur I am, for not having invoked Your Name in other threads I have posted to. But, I thought you had 'gone off' me, since you hadn't deigned to respond to my last couple of posts, re: Yourself. Not that I'm implying that Your Worshipfulness should acknowledge my existence; goddesses do as goddesses will. I just figured the other boy-toys were proving sufficient for Your needs, and that my meager talents were no longer required or desired.

That's not an excuse, it's a reason. Really! Please, don't beat me, Miss Ma'am!

Slavishly,

zoid

P.S.
And I sure as hell wasn't going to mention you on Loni's thread. I've got enough competition already, without that guy ruining the bell curve. Mentioning ~lissa was safe, since she doesn't pay me any attention, of any kind. (She's got standards and discernment, apparently.) If Loni wants to adore you, he's gonna have to stalk you using his own wiles, like everybody else.
_________________________________________________

"Burn the land and boil the sea, you can't take the sky from me." The Ballad of Serenity

* The Real Me gapes in awe, as he realizes that HE could never grovel as well as Zoid. The Real Me assumes that Zoid must already have been married for some time. *

The Real Me

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you.)

ZOID

Tuesday, January 18, 2005 11:18 AM (P)

TRM:

Heh-heh, yeah.

Actually, I figure the "I grovel like the worthless cur I am, for not having invoked Your Name in other threads I have posted to," should be boiler plate for posts to this thread. Kinda like, "Bless me Father, for I have sinned," and then you let rip with all the things you've done wrong since the last time you posted/confessed.

And yes, I've been married longer than some of the posters on this board have been alive. And I plan on remaining married 'til after some of the posters on this board have perished. Hence, groveling as an art form. My wife is most lovely and kind; but, she is still a woman. There are times when you just know that using reasoning is only gonna get you in more hot water. It's like they really want you to be wrong, regardless the actual facts; and of course you can't help them out because you're a guy, and never wrong. (NB: I thought I was wrong once, back in '79; but, I was mistaken.)

Explanatorily,

zoid

P.S.
Ummm... Did I say that out loud? *zoid runs for mountaintop, with pitchfork- and torch-wielding females close behind.*
_________________________________________________

"Burn the land and boil the sea, you can't take the sky from me." The Ballad of Serenity

MALICIOUS

Tuesday, January 18, 2005 8:34 PM (P)

Quote:
Originally posted by firefloozysuzie:
RobNotRick and I have passed around a couple notes on the NJ Browncoat thread about maybe it might be fun to meetup some browncoat hooligans in Atlantic City. Would you consider that a decent notion?

Ooooh, gambling! Gambling with other Browncoats! Shiny!

I would just need sufficient notice and proper directions and I could arrange to be there. Who is paying for my high-roller suite? Any volunteers? Hello?

Mal-licious

Co-Holder of the Red Bell from Hell

MALICIOUS

Tuesday, January 18, 2005 8:49 PM (P)

Quote:
Originally posted by Rat:
um No, what kind of crackers?

Onion flavored Toasteds. NOW what do you want to know?

Mal-licious

Co-Holder of the Red Bell from Hell

RAT

Tuesday, January 18, 2005 8:54 PM (P)

Quote:
Originally posted by Malicious:
You're as bad as Zoid is/was with my hair color!

So, what color is your hair?

-Ratboy

MALICIOUS

Tuesday, January 18, 2005 8:56 PM (P)

Quote:
Originally posted by zoid:
It's like they really want you to be wrong, regardless the actual facts...

Are you TRYING to piss me off? 'cuz it's workin'.

You are assuming that YOUR "actual facts" are the same as HER'S. Which is completely impossible because women are more AWARE, exponentially, than men. Therefore, there are "facts" she is aware of of which you know nothing. Just like with dirt, women see things that men just don't.

Mal-licious

Co-Holder of the Red Bell from Hell

MALICIOUS

Tuesday, January 18, 2005 8:57 PM (P)

Quote:
Originally posted by Rat:
So, what color is your hair?

ZOID! Handle this.

Mal-licious

Co-Holder of the Red Bell from Hell

ZOID

Tuesday, January 18, 2005 11:30 PM (P)

Rat implored my Mistress:

Quote:
So, what color is your hair?

-Ratboy

And my Mistress, (say it with me) (zoid affects Michael Buffer voice) Mmmm!... Ahhh!... Liii-shuuus! bade me thus:

Quote:
ZOID! Handle this.

Mal-licious

As She wills, I must do.

What color is her hair? Ummm, actually, I don't know. I mean, she tells me and all; but I don't know. I just nod my head, and cup my chin in my hand thoughtfully, and murmur things like, "I see", and, "Hmmm...", and, "I think it looks perfectly natural. Are sure you even colored it? Maybe you forgot the color and only used the conditioner packet?"

Since I know that doesn't exactly answer your question, I tell you exactly(ish) what she told me, and then you can make of it what you will.

During the summer months, she likes to wear her hair a bit lighter. This past Summer (or at least the last part of it), she said her color was "Creme Brulée". I think 'creme brulée' is a kind of food, perhaps a type of cheese; so, that would be good for you. Either that, or it's like a raspberry custard. So it's either an orangish-yellow, or it's purplish-red with pie crusts on the sides.

Still, "Creme Brulée" sounds very expensive, so it must be very good. I saw pictures of her hair, but it looked red to me, which she said it definitely was not. She said it was 'a medium blonde with really brassy overtones' or something like that, to which I replied, "I think it looks perfectly natural..."

Then, the Fall came. Since the Fall is definitely not the Summer, she changed it to "Crystal Something Or The Other". I never saw pictures of her thus coiffed, so I can't comment; but she assured me it was "brown". I'm pretty sure I know what 'brown' is, but at this point, I just hope it feels nice when I run my fingers through it... I mean when she runs her fingers through it!

Obediently,

zoid

P.S.
There you go 'Lishus! Another task successfully completed. Anything else you'd like me to do?

P.P.S.
Rat: Mal's rumored to have changed her color again, but she hasn't kept me in the loop. Apparently, the change was spurred by an all-night Cuervo Gold-off her and Badger'sHat pulled a couple weeks back. So, you'll have to ask him for the (less non-)current color of her hair.

P.P.P.S.
Good luck, Jefé! Got any of the Cuervo left? It may help...
_________________________________________________

When asked how he writes such convincing female characters:
"I think of a man, then I take away reason and accountability." Jack Nicholson, As Good As It Gets

RAT

Wednesday, January 19, 2005 12:04 AM (P)

(as homer) MMMMMmmmm...Purplish red with pie crusts on the sides. (drool)

-Ratboy

CAGEYBEE

Wednesday, January 19, 2005 12:34 AM (P)

Oooooooo, me, me! I remember Mal...and I also support and enjoy her new, shiny thread.

me

~Mal- "how drunk was i last night?"
~Jayne- "i don't know. i passed out."

MALICIOUS

Wednesday, January 19, 2005 2:20 AM (P)

Umm, yes, Zoid, handle it you...did. Quite...well?

Sorry, I just had to scrape the crust out from behind my ear.

Mal-licious

Co-Holder of the Red Bell from Hell

HARDWARE

Wednesday, January 19, 2005 2:55 AM (P)

Quote:
Originally posted by zoid:

During the summer months, she likes to wear her hair a bit lighter. This past Summer (or at least the last part of it), she said her color was "Creme Brulée". I think 'creme brulée' is a kind of food, perhaps a type of cheese; so, that would be good for you. Either that, or it's like a raspberry custard. So it's either an orangish-yellow, or it's purplish-red with pie crusts on the sides.

Still, "Creme Brulée" sounds very expensive, so it must be very good. I saw pictures of her hair, but it looked red to me, which she said it definitely was not. She said it was 'a medium blonde with really brassy overtones' or something like that, to which I replied, "I think it looks perfectly natural..."

EDITORIAL NOTE: Creme Brulee is a very expensive food. For you non-cooks out there, Creme Brulee is a custard with a carmelized sugar glaze. Proper manufacture of Creme Brulee requires ramekins and a creme brulee torch, for which Williams and Sonoma will gleefully have their way with your bank account. You could make it with small ceramic bowls intended for Mise en Place and a Bernz-O-Matic propane torch but it lacks sadly in style.

Hardware; who actually can make Creme Brulee and other stuff seen on Good Eats.

The more I get to know people the more I like my dogs.

ZOID

Wednesday, January 19, 2005 3:04 AM (P)

Hardware instructed:

Quote:
...Proper manufacture of Creme Brulee requires ramekins...

Ramekins? As in the kind used to make Flans?!

There's a signpost up ahead. Next stop, the Mal-Licious Zone.

Eerily,

zoid

P.S.
Eerie Part Deux:
I'm watching DiscSci just now (circa 9:20 PM CST), and they're interviewing this guy about the progress of the Cassini Saturn mission, specifically, the successful landing of the Huygens probe on Titan. He says the surface of Titan is covered in snow with a light crust on top. Comparable to Creme Brulée, he said. I sh*t you not. I'm going to hide under my bed, now.
_________________________________________________

"Burn the sugar and boil the yolks, you can't take the vanilla extract from me." The Ballad of Creme Brulée

RAT

Wednesday, January 19, 2005 4:04 AM (P)

Quote:
Originally posted by Hardware:
Hardware; who actually can make Creme Brulee and other stuff seen on Good Eats.

And yet you have not posted on the Good Eats Thread in talk story... that I started!!

--------------------

PS I too know what creme brulee is, and I even own a creme brulee torch, so there HA!

-Ratboy

HARDWARE

Thursday, January 20, 2005 12:19 AM (P)

Quote:
Originally posted by Rat:
Quote:
Originally posted by Hardware:
Hardware; who actually can make Creme Brulee and other stuff seen on Good Eats.

And yet you have not posted on the Good Eats Thread in talk story... that I started!!

--------------------

PS I too know what creme brulee is, and I even own a creme brulee torch, so there HA!

-Ratboy

Ah, young Jedi, you overreach yourself. For I too own a creme brulee torch and a bernz-o-matic torch! I also have come to possess ramekins and mise en place dishes! So there, HAHA!

Hardware; doing his best Doctor Orpheus voice.

The more I get to know people the more I like my dogs.

MALICIOUS

Thursday, January 20, 2005 12:45 AM (P)

Apparently, I have not been properly policing this thread! People are claiming food making abilities and NOT OFFERING ME ANY SAMPLES.

We truly have turned off the main road into the Twilight Zone. Let's get back on track here, people!

Mal-licious

Co-Holder of the Red Bell from Hell

RAT

Thursday, January 20, 2005 1:22 AM (P)

Quote:
Originally posted by Hardware:
Ah, young Jedi, you overreach yourself. For I too own a creme brulee torch and a bernz-o-matic torch! I also have come to possess ramekins and mise en place dishes! So there, HAHA!

I too own a set of ramekins, and a set of mise en place dishes, so there HAHAHA!

So, do you prefer KitchenAid, or Magic Mill DLX?
Personally I prefer the DLX!

-Ratboy

HARDWARE

Thursday, January 20, 2005 4:20 AM (P)

Quote:
Originally posted by Rat:

I too own a set of ramekins, and a set of mise en place dishes, so there HAHAHA!

So, do you prefer KitchenAid, or Magic Mill DLX?
Personally I prefer the DLX!

-Ratboy

I like the Kitchen Aid mostly because it is built like a tank and I got one for ~$75 off E-bay, shipping included. It's ugly avocado green, but hey, it works, therefore it is beautiful.

Plus, for Xmas my girlfriend bought me the grinder attachment. I just bought myself the sausage stuffer and will be trying my hand at breakfast sausages and Maybe italitan sausages.

Malicious, you can maybe try some if you behave yourself and only hijack this thread.

HAHAHAHA!

The more I get to know people the more I like my dogs.

ZOID

Thursday, January 20, 2005 4:47 AM (P)

Mmmm-delicious wrote:

Quote:
Apparently, I have not been properly policing this thread! People are claiming food making abilities and NOT OFFERING ME ANY SAMPLES.

We truly have turned off the main road into the Twilight Zone. Let's get back on track here, people!

Mal's thread got hijacked?! Preposterous!

BTW, 'Lish: They haven't hijacked your thread; they're still talking about your hair color from this Summer past. That's what you get for buying hair color with panache (which is fur-eign for pancakes, I think, and is a light golden brown hair color, with Mrs. Buttersworth on top.)...

Sheesh! You start out trying to flatter the pants off of a woman, next thing you know, there's a couple Cordons Bleu rattling pots and brandishing blowtorches. This is about as romantic as a Benihana...

Here, 'Lishus: How about a nice tumbler of Bushmill's 16-year old single malt, on the rocks, and I'll peel you some grapes as you recline by the fireside? I may not be able to cook, but I can serve.

Attentively,

zoid

RAT

Thursday, January 20, 2005 5:19 AM (P)

Quote:
Originally posted by Hardware:
I like the Kitchen Aid mostly because it is built like a tank and I got one for ~$75 off E-bay, shipping included.

The big one with the hanging bowl, or the small one with the tilting top?

-Ratboy

HARDWARE

Thursday, January 20, 2005 6:05 AM (P)

Quote:
Originally posted by Rat:
Quote:
Originally posted by Hardware:
I like the Kitchen Aid mostly because it is built like a tank and I got one for ~$75 off E-bay, shipping included.

The big one with the hanging bowl, or the small one with the tilting top?

-Ratboy

Tilt top. Not that it mattered to me, but Alton approved.

The more I get to know people the more I like my dogs.

THEREALME

Thursday, January 20, 2005 6:17 AM (P)

* The Real Me is tearing apart his kitchen... *

Pots...

Pans...

Cookie sheet...

OH! HERE!

No, just a crock pot...

* It begins to dawn on the The Real Me that he really doesn't know what a ramekin is (a tiny rame?), and all these blowtorch things perplex him. Moreover, he doesn't really even know what Creme Burlee is, aside from Mal-licious' hair color. *

The Real Me

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you.)

RAT

Thursday, January 20, 2005 6:28 AM (P)

Quote:
Originally posted by Hardware:
Not that it mattered to me, but Alton approved.

Thats what I was gonna say.

------------

You should see the DLX in action, oh man it's shiny!!

-Ratboy

RAT

Thursday, January 20, 2005 6:31 AM (P)

Quote:
Originally posted by TheRealMe:
It begins to dawn on the The Real Me that he really doesn't know what a ramekin is (a tiny rame?)

Think nut bowl!

-Ratboy

THEREALME

Thursday, January 20, 2005 2:56 PM (P)

Quote:
Originally posted by Rat:
Quote:
Originally posted by TheRealMe:
It begins to dawn on the The Real Me that he really doesn't know what a ramekin is (a tiny rame?)

Think nut bowl!

-Ratboy

What? Well, okay...

* The Real Me unleashes his powers of concentration, and mutters to himself: *

nut bowl... nut bowl... nut bowl...

The Real Me

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you.)

RAT

Thursday, January 20, 2005 5:53 PM (P)

* Suddenly, there came a flash light, and a ramekin filled with salted nuts appears on the table before TheRealHim! *

-Ratboy

RHYMEPHILE

Thursday, January 20, 2005 8:44 PM (P)

Since this thread seems to be spiralling toward food-associated insanity,

Mmmmmmmm, cookies. And anything chocolate-related.

And let it be known that Mizz Licious gets first dibs on my ever-expanding DVD auction collection, just because she came back and stuff. An' cuz she has purty hair.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I've seen life on this planet, Scully, and that's precisely why I'm looking elsewhere."

-- Fox Mulder, The X-Files

MALICIOUS

Thursday, January 20, 2005 9:34 PM (P)

Rhyme!

Thanks for getting this thread steered back in the proper direction. You and Zoid are among the second most important people in this entire thread.

(Mal-Licious concentrates as well)

"nut jobs...nut jobs...nut jobs..."

Mal-licious

Co-Holder of the Red Bell from Hell

HARDWARE

Thursday, January 20, 2005 9:43 PM (P)

Quote:
Originally posted by Malicious:

(Mal-Licious concentrates as well)

"nut jobs...nut jobs...nut jobs..."

Mal-licious

Co-Holder of the Red Bell from Hell

Nut jobs? Sounds like a euphemism for an intimate act between consenting squirrels!

The more I get to know people the more I like my dogs.

EMBERS

Friday, January 21, 2005 12:22 AM (P)

bumping Mal-licious' thread...
offering penance for reading it so late
(it is one VERY long thread,
what with the cheese
and the mud...)

and offering a game (cartoon by Jade Gordon):
http://jigzone.com/ms/z.php?ui=620911392i1694838&z=20_piece_classic

I hope the offering is sufficient,
Sincerely,
Maribeth (embers)

MALICIOUS

Friday, January 21, 2005 4:29 AM (P)

Embers!

You are hereby absolved. Go forth and say 20 Hail Mal-Licious's yadda yadda and you'll be good to go.

Peas be with you. Even though I am not fond of vegetables.

Mal-licious

Co-Holder of the Red Bell from Hell

THEREALME

Friday, January 21, 2005 4:41 AM (P)

Quote:
Originally posted by The Real Me:
* The Real Me unleashes his powers of concentration, and mutters to himself: *

nut bowl... nut bowl... nut bowl...

Quote:
Originally posted by Rat:
* Suddenly, there came a flash light, and a ramekin filled with salted nuts appears on the table before TheRealHim! *
-Ratboy

* The Real Me is very surprised by the nut bowl that apparently materialized out of thin air. He grabs a handful of nuts and starts munching on them. The Real Me wonders if he has acquired a new superpower? Suddenly, inspiration hits The Real Me. He closes his eyes tightly and starts muttering: *

A human woman who is: intelligent, witty, creative, understanding, heterosexual, unattached, attractive, rich, and interested in The Real Me!

A human woman who is: intelligent, witty, creative, understanding, heterosexual, unattached, attractive, rich, and interested in The Real Me!

* The Real Me opens one eye to peek. *

Dammit! Just a bowl full of nuts!

The Real Me

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you.)

RAT

Friday, January 21, 2005 7:14 AM (P)

* Then from behind TheRealHim, a female reaver appears! *

* She looks vary "interested" in TheRealHim! *

-Ratboy

edit- Sorry, thats the best I can do.

ZOID

Friday, January 21, 2005 9:39 AM (P)

TheRealMe wrote:

Quote:
...A human woman who is: intelligent, witty, creative, understanding, heterosexual, unattached, attractive, rich, and interested in The Real Me!

You forgot, "...who's the heiress to the Jack Daniels fortune, her Daddy owns a Porsche dealership (censored for family audience), and has a bottle opener in her ear."

Let me know if it works. I've got a couple snowball's-chance-in-hell wishes, too.

*zoid begins chanting, just in case, 'an altruistic politician, an altruistic politician, an altruistic politician'*

Wishfully,

zoid

P.S.
And apparently Rat has managed to find the only attractive female reaver for you; so, good luck with the wedding plans. I'd watch out for the buffet table at the reception; I understand the 'lady fingers' taste like pork...
_________________________________________________

"Burn the land and boil the sea, you can't take the sky from me." The Ballad of Serenity

THEREALME

Friday, January 21, 2005 4:10 PM (P)

An altruistic politician? PLEASE, Zoid! At least it was POSSIBLE that what I wished for could exist.

Quote:
Originally posted by Rat:
* Then from behind TheRealHim, a female reaver appears! *

* She looks vary "interested" in TheRealHim! *

-Ratboy

edit- Sorry, thats the best I can do.

* The Real Me regards the FemaleReaver *

Hmmmm... well, if her only significant flaw is cannibalism...

GREETINGS! FemaleReaver! Welcome!

Hmmmmm... If I take her back to the Sereni-TREE, I'd have to keep her from eating my friends. Perhaps if I kept her strapped down to a...

But no, that would be a bit kinky for this site. And there are some who might still blame me for Inola Teg, since she followed me home from the Purple Dimension. They'd think that FemaleReaver was just continuing the trend of my bringing back dangerous females who attempt to eat us.

* The Real Me comes to a decision. He turns back to FemaleReaver, who is still disoriented. *

No, I'm sorry, dear. Our relationship just could not work. But here!

* The Real Me grabs Rat and pushes him toward FemaleReaver. *

This is my good friend Rat. I'm sure you'll have a lot to discuss... over dinner!

* The Real Me opens a hole in reality and disappears inside it. The hole closes behind him. *

The Real Me

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you.)

RAT

Friday, January 21, 2005 9:49 PM (P)

* Rat ponders for a moment then scurrys away in terror! *

-Ratboy

MALICIOUS

Saturday, January 22, 2005 12:09 AM (P)

(Mal-Licious tosses some creme brulee at the FemaleReaver in an attempt to keep her from following Rat)

Here you go, hon. Eat some of this! It's hardly got any anti-freeze in it at all.....

(Mal-Licious stands back, arms crossed, nodding with satisfaction)

Mal-licious

Co-Holder of the Red Bell from Hell

THEREALME

Saturday, January 22, 2005 1:01 AM (P)

* The FemaleReaver ignores the offered crème burlee, since it (most probably?) does not contain human flesh as one if its main ingredients. As the FemaleReaver leaps toward Rat, mayhem in her eyes, a spot of light appears at Rat’s feet. It expands, to become a circle of fire surrounding a dark void. As FemaleReaver reaches out for Rat, grabs him, and opens her mouth wide for a bite, they both fall through this hole in reality, much surprised. *

* From the other side of this dimensional portal, there comes a smacking sound, a thud, and The Real Me’s voice can be heard to echo: *

Ebo Golem! Grab her! Don’t let her get loose! Good! Here Rat, let me help you up. Sorry about the ruse I involved you in, but I wanted her to be distracted.

* From the other side of the portal, FemaleReaver can be heard to howl, incoherent with rage. *

* Before long, The Real Me pokes up through the still-open dimensional portal in the floor. He blinks and shakes his head. *

Whew! Dis-orienting!

* The Real Me is holding a crowbar. He climbs through, a bit wobbly, and goes over to the exact spot where he had been standing when the bowl of nuts and the FemaleReaver had appeared. The Real Me uses the crowbar to pry up some of the floorboards from that spot. He examines a piece of wood he ripped out as he strolls back to the dimensional portal. *

Hmmmm.. Just as I thought! A magical wish-granting plank! Oh, well, back to the Treehouse ship!

* With a hop, The Real Me (with the plank tucked under one arm) jumps down into the hole in reality and it closes behind him. *

The Real Me

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you.)

ELWOODMOM

Saturday, January 22, 2005 3:39 AM (P)

Hi ya, Malicious! I can't believe it's been over a month since I've been here! How you been? Up to no good I see, with the hijacking and all. I thought I taught you better than that!

RAT

Saturday, January 22, 2005 4:50 AM (P)

We'r like kids playing in an abandond warehouse, I think a new Mal-licious thread is ready for hijacking!!

-Ratboy

THATWEIRDGIRL

Tuesday, February 1, 2005 8:11 PM (P)

Mom? Is that you? Oh, Mom, we've missed you so much.

We made a thread for you and everything. http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=2&t=8575

www.thatweirdgirl.com

MALICIOUS

Tuesday, February 1, 2005 8:16 PM (P)

MOM!

Missed ya! Only 3 and 1/2 months until my half-birthday!

Mal-licious

Co-Holder of the Red Bell from Hell

PETITRHINO

Tuesday, February 1, 2005 9:13 PM (P)

Dear Co-Holder of the Red Bell from Hell,

I just found this thread and thought I should post something. Reading your posts is always an honor that flatters my... honor.

Yours fireflyingly,

Flo

PS: Happy non-birthday!

MALICIOUS

Tuesday, February 1, 2005 11:10 PM (P)

Why thank you!

Your honor flatters my honor more.

And happy non-birthday to you as well. Unless it IS your birthday, then happy that!

Mal-licious

Co-Holder of the Red Bell from Hell

ELWOODMOM

Wednesday, February 2, 2005 1:14 AM (P)

>>Mom? Is that you? Oh, Mom, we've missed you so much.<<

That's so sweet, I've missed you too! Thanks for directing me to that thread!

ELWOODMOM

Wednesday, February 2, 2005 1:17 AM (P)

Quote:
Originally posted by Malicious:
MOM!

Missed ya! Only 3 and 1/2 months until my half-birthday!

Mal-licious

Co-Holder of the Red Bell from Hell

May 19th, May 19th, May 19th...right?? Maybe you should start on your wish list! Something like:

1. World peace
2. Mal
3. Mal naked!

COZEN

Wednesday, February 2, 2005 1:50 AM (P)

Quote:
Originally posted by Elwoodmom:
Quote:
Originally posted by Malicious:
MOM!

Missed ya! Only 3 and 1/2 months until my half-birthday!

Mal-licious

Co-Holder of the Red Bell from Hell

May 19th, May 19th, May 19th...right?? Maybe you should start on your wish list! Something like:

1. World peace
2. Mal
3. Mal naked!

Not necessarily in that order, of course.

***
It's not my birthday, either....

ELWOODMOM

Wednesday, February 2, 2005 1:56 AM (P)

*snicker* For someone who has almost 2000 posts to their thread, I think Malicious can have it in any order she wants!

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