CAPTION TIGHTPANTS #19

POSTED BY: TenthCrewMember
UPDATED: Tuesday, March 22, 2005 14:10
VIEWED: 18226
PAGE 1 of 1

Ai ya! What a week of hi-larious action! Almost as funny as hitting a man with a closed fist! I tell you, this weeks winner was well deserved! But first, the honorable mentions...

Pumamanredux: MST3K cross-over. 'Nuff said.
DarkJester: Oh my, that was the best worst pun, like, ever!

Now for the meat on our spaghetti, the week 18 winner:

A hearty welcome to KMS into our CTHoF! (That is Caption Tightpants Hall of Fame for the acronymically impared ). Now onto week 19, which has ol' cappy his own self, but Wash is stealin' the show!

WASH: *honk honk honk*
MAL (thinking): Wu de tyen ah! Is he doing that 'Help, somebody is juggling me' rutting goose joke again?

(note: "Wu de tyen ah" is "Dear God in Heaven")

Now maybe you could say a prayer and slide on by, but I am thinkin' you can top that caption! Have a go!

Cilantro!
TCM

P.S. Just a few more weeks, and I will draw a name for the first ever prize awarded in Caption Tightpants! All winners and honorable mentions are in the drawing! But don't fret, I'll have some other surprise drawings along the way to September when I have another big drawing!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CT#1 http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=2&t=7864
CT#2 http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=2&t=7927
CT#3 http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=2&t=7990
CT#4 http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=2&t=8094
CT#5 http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=2&t=8165
CT#6 http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=2&t=8240
CT#7 http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=2&t=8307
CT#8 http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=2&t=8362
CT#9 http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=2&t=8448
CT#10 http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=2&t=8517
CT#11 http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=2&t=8569
CT#12 http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=2&t=8639
CT#13 http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=2&t=8722
CT#14 http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=2&t=8793
CT#15 http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=2&t=8852
CT#16 http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=2&t=8942
CT#17 http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=2&t=9021
CT#18 http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=2&t=9086

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Mal (thinking): Every time we use the Crybaby, Wash has to go and add ruttin' sound effects.

Packer fans welcome.
All others tolerated.

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First off, congrats to KMS!!! That was hilarious.

Quote:

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Originally posted by TenthCrewMember:

---

In negotiations, the Captain was known for his poker face. Wash, not so much.

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Quote:

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Originally posted by TenthCrewMember:

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Wash:And then we found the Cap'n stranded in the dessert, and he was naked! Ha ha ha...
Mal:(thinking) He wont be finding it so funny in about thirty seconds when I shove one of these candles up his pee goo.



"If nothing we do means anything then the only thing that means anything is what we do"

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totally skiffing the quoutes from BtVS, but here it goes...


Wash: They GOT the MUSTARD OUT!!!

Mal: Oh my God, I'm cured! I want the boys!




Keep shiny!

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Quote:

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Originally posted by TenthCrewMember:

---

Mal pretended not to notice Wash hacking up another hairball at the table.

--------------------------------------------------------------
Chief Engineer - USS SereniTREE.
http://www.jed-soft.com Gamer Rigs, Budget Prices
http://tomeofgrey.blogspot.com
Real Fans Wait - 09/30/05

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Quote:

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Originally posted by TenthCrewMember:



WASH: *honk honk honk*
MAL (thinking): Wu de tyen ah! Is he doing that 'Help, somebody is juggling me' rutting goose joke again?

(note: "Wu de tyen ah" is "Dear God in Heaven")

Now maybe you could say a prayer and slide on by, but I am thinkin' you can top that caption! Have a go!

Cilantro!
TCM

---

Mal: (Thinking:) "I am so sick of his gorram "James Brown" impersonation."

Wash: HAAAAAAAAAAYY! I feel good!!!

==================================================
http://burstsofstatic.blogspot.com/

Evil, Lecherous Hump

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got a couple ideas; maybe i'll post more later. I feel a creative spur coming on.

Wash: "....and the cat made a face like THIS before i hit it with the mule...."
Mal: "Hasn't this already been done?"

or

Wash: "..and we were having such a great time at the Christmas party, and they just came up and told us we were cancelled! WAAAHHHH!!!"
Mal: "Didn't anyone tell him yet about the movie?"

Alternate: Wash: "..and just as we hit the 150 day mark, they pushed us back 5 months! WAAAHHHH!!!!"
Mal: ".........."

or

Wash: "Kenyaaaaaaa....oh, kenyaaaaaaaa...."
Mal: "........he really HAS been drinking......"

"When your miracle gets here, you just pound this button once." -Alan Tudyk, in a message to Joss with the packaged button, about the Firefly movie

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Quote:

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Originally posted by TenthCrewMember:
A hearty welcome to KMS into our CTHoF! (That is Caption Tightpants Hall of Fame for the acronymically impared ).

Thanks, Everyone!!! I’d like to thank the Academy… Arggghhh!! Not River’s Academy!!! They’re stealing my brain!!

Silliness aside….. onto this week’s caption:

---

Mal: I know that Wash said he never used to like hairy women until he met Zoe, but if he hacks up another hairball, I’m gonna kill him.

Or

Mal (thinking): I told him it would freeze that way if he kept making that face.

Or

Wash: Arrrgh!!!
Mal (scolding Jayne across the table): I told you not to touch the Little Man THERE!
Jayne (OS): But, Mal, he’s just like a PEZ dispenser.


(shamelessly stealing from Alan Tudyk on the Firefly gagreel)


KMS

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Wash: ...And then the guy wasn't really dead, and Mal's like AAAHHHH!!!!

Mal (thinking): Gun-hoe-tze-bee-dio-se, does he have to tell this on every moon we stop at?

-Ratboy

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THIEF!!!

--------------------------------------------------------------
Chief Engineer - USS SereniTREE.
http://www.jed-soft.com Gamer Rigs, Budget Prices
http://tomeofgrey.blogspot.com
Real Fans Wait - 09/30/05

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Mal suddenly realised that Zoe had been looking for her dropped knife for rather too long.

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Quote:

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Originally posted by TheGreyJedi:
THIEF!!!

---

thus the 'shameless' :)

Mal (thinking): I thought he said there wasn’t anywhere on her body that he wouldn’t put his tongue. Note to Evil Self: Buy more hot sauce for Zoe.




KMS
'We're not obsessed, we're focused.'--Gizzie

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Quote:

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Originally posted by TenthCrewMember:

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Wash just couldn`t keep tune when singing `The Hero of Canton` song and ended up just blurting out the words - Much to the annoyance of the Captain

or

Wash - "**SPLURT** - What do you mean I`ve been dropped from appearing in Serenity the Movie?"

Darin (Zol.)

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Wash: What is in this?! Cilantro?!!

Mal: And he wonders why we leave him on the ship during capers. *sigh*

____________________________________________

"I've seen you with no clothes on, never thought I'd see you naked."

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Mal (thinking): Does he really think he's a gorram pirate? I knew he was always a little . . . out there . . . but how do you wake up one morning, look in the mirror, and say "Arr, I'm a pirate?" Somebody really needs to tell him that ain't the way it is. And his accent just sucks.

or

Wash: So a pirate walks into a bar, and he has a steering wheel sticking out of his zipper.
Mal (thinking): Not this joke again . . .
Wash: And the bartender looks at him and says, 'hey, you have a gorram steering wheel sticking out of your zipper!' And the pirate says 'Arrrrr!! It's driving me nuts!'




I mock you with my monkey pants

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Wash: "BWAH!"



-----
We applied the cortical electrodes but were unable to get a neural reaction from either patient.

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I just snorted boiling hot coffee out my nose. Oy, my sinuses!

Quote:

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Originally posted by grrarrg:
...'hey, you have a gorram steering wheel sticking out of your zipper!' And the pirate says 'Arrrrr!! It's driving me nuts!'

---

"I'm gonna rip you a new puppet hole, bitch!"

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Quote:

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Originally posted by Knibblet:
I just snorted boiling hot coffee out my nose. Oy, my sinuses!

Quote:

---

Originally posted by grrarrg:
...'hey, you have a gorram steering wheel sticking out of your zipper!' And the pirate says 'Arrrrr!! It's driving me nuts!'

---

"I'm gonna rip you a new puppet hole, bitch!"

---

With as much crap as comes out of your nose its amazing you take in any nutrients.

_________________________________________

"I've seen you with no clothes on, never thought I'd see you naked."

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It's a good thing I love you, brother. You're one of the more guilty parties in this problem. Just you wait until next time we play "Balderdash". Stop Pushkin me Blutus. *muttering about brothers who think they're gorram funny and stuff*
love ya love ya

Quote:

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Originally posted by Volstock:
With as much crap as comes out of your nose its amazing you take in any nutrients.

---

"I'm gonna rip you a new puppet hole, bitch!"

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Stop......LOL.......please stop...... LMAO....ribs breaking.........LOL.....*cough*....LMAO....can't take much more.....LMAO.....

Everyone dies alone.

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Adam (off-camera): "You should'a seen Nathan's reaction when I told him FOX had cancelled the show. He sure did look purtty in that dress tho'.

Everyone dies alone.

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Wash was really upset that he couldn`t wear a fancy frock & floral Bonnet for the next caper & Mal was just so upset that Inara wouldn`t lend him one of her dresses!

Darin (Zol.)

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Mal looks away intently as Wash attempts to cough up a loogie and shoot it at the mudders milk in front of him, causing it to fall over and spill everywhere.

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Wash doing his impression of the myth of Earth that was. This is the part where she puffs out her cheeks and blows out the sky.

or

Wash: AAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! And that's how I was born. Now, when I was two, I discovered that toes tasted good, so...

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WASH:"198 DAYS!!!!?!?!Why can't it come out NOW!?!?!"

OR

WASH:"........JAAAYYYYYNNNNNEEEEE!!!THE MAN THEY CALL JAYNE!!!!!"

OR

WASH:"YAY!!We finally got to a crappy town where i'm a hero!!!Listen to that song!!!WAAASSSHHHH!!!!WE'RE STARTING A MOSH........."

OR

WASH:(drunk singing):"JAAAAAYNNNNEE, TEH AMN THEY CALL....wait........................................................................................
..JAYNE'S A GUY?!?!?!?!"

OR

WASH:"GAHHHHHH!!!!NEED.....WATER!!!JALEPENO PEPPERS......GORRAM STRONG!!!!"

OR

MAL:"Kaylee, could you please stop Wash from crying?"

KAYLEE:"But Mal, you didn't let him buy that slinky dress!!!!"

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Quote:

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Originally posted by TenthCrewMember:

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Firstly, chollet, were u quoting from this website?
http://www.weebls-stuff.com/
the following link?
http://www.weebls-stuff.com/toons/29/

which is as we all know, rutting brilliant!
anyhow, for my attempt this week;

MAl: It's not funny Wash
WASH: You honestly thought he was a woman?
MAL: Until the very last moment yeah, i'm ordering you to stop laughing WASH, it's not funny.
WASH: I'm not laughing at you, i'm laughing at myself..... I've got a sly captain!

Everyone loves magical trevor, cos the tricks that he does are ever so clever, look at him now dissapearing a cow, where is the cow heading right now?

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Hey Duke - badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger, mushroom, mushroom - great site, weebls-stuff!



On to business....


"....she was standing by the thing, with the gosslings, and the thing, so I walked up behind her and said 'Hey LAAAADEEEE'...."


-Jerry "Lee" Lewis Washstein




(See, 'cause today is both Alan Tudyk's and Jerry Lewis' birthday.....)




MAL "You only gotta scare him."
JAYNE "Pain is scary..."

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Wash (wailing and whining): Captain! Kaylee took my T-rex again, and she won't give it back!

Mal (in an admonishing tone): Kaylee. Now give Wash his T-rex back or you will be sent to bed without dinner.

Kaylee (whining): But, Cap'n. Wash was dancing around in my dress and he spilled oil on it!

Mal: I don't even want to know.

"They tell ya to never hit a man with a closed fist, but it is, on occaison, hilarious." -- Mal

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Wash: AAAAAAAGH! AAAAAAAAAAHHHG!
Mal: Gorramit Wash. We're having a serious conversation here.
Kaylee: Uh Captain! I think Wash's chest is is ...is movin'! There's something in his chest there!
Wash: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHG!
The sounds of cracking bones and flesh as a small creature protrudes from Wash's ribcage.
Mal:Hmm, must have been parasites in the protein.

Keeper of Jayne's goggles. 8)

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Yes, they had both just been punched in the groin. But Mal took it like a man.

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Wash: "Cchhhllltthhhhgggg hhhaaaacccckkk. Don't you hate it when you get that piece of popcorn hull stuck on that thing that hangs down in the back of your throat? Hcccccchhhh."

Mal-licious

Co-Holder of the Red Bell from Hell

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************************************************

Wash reacts to the news that his ultra rare last episode of Star Trek: Enterprise on videodisc was destroyed by a contingent of Space Monkeys.

or

Wash has seen Shrek 2 once too often

or

Mal: "Wash, theres something wrong with your mouth, you might want to look into that"

or

Wash practices for Serenity Idol with his rendition of Roxanne.


************************************************
'Trust me - I know what I'm doing!' - Sledge Hammer
**************
http://www.freewebs.com/mjspages/tempfireflypage.htm

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Mal and wash are none too pleased as they find out where all that protein comes from...

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Mal: You got to 3 to take your hand of my weapon Wash, and my holsters on the other side.

Wash: EEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!

"I've seen you with no clothes on, never thought I'd see you naked."

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Wash just found out Maryland didn't make it to the NCAA. Mal, on the other hand, wants to know who would name a school Oral Roberts?

(Sorry, that was just a combination of everyone's away messages who are at the game while some of us are stuck at home studying because we still have midterms this week )

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Mal: There is nothing wrong with my new haircut!

Wash: HA HA HA! Oh my god, it is so retro! Just look at those sideburns! Right out of some Earth-That-Was sci fi tv series! At least you didn't go with the red shirt today.



It's a nothing part til you don't got one, then you have to go to ebay.....aaaaagh!

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The staring competition between Mal and Kaylee was dead even, Wash vs River wasn't even close

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I'd make up my own caption, but frankly I'm not that clever. Just thought I'd say I liked your caption, SimonWho.

Now we have to be married. I'm in the family way.

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Just to answer the earlier question, yes, the Kenya thing is a reference to the weebls-stuff site. Lots of good stuff, including, but not limited to, Magical Trevor 1 and 2 and the various Badgers incarnations.

"When your miracle gets here, you just pound this button once." -Alan Tudyk, in a message to Joss with the packaged button, about the Firefly movie

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Quote:

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Originally posted by TenthCrewMember:

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(Kaylee):See Saffron? He makes everybody cry. Even Wash. He's like a monster.

(Mal): I'm not a monster!

---------------------------------------------
The real-life box droppin', man-ape gone wrong thing, now without the pesky falling boxes

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Got another one:

Quote:

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Originally posted by TenthCrewMember:

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(Wash): AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!

(Mal): I shouldn't have told him what happens to those black-market beagles that we delivered.






For those of you saying "huh?", watch the pilot episode again (as if you needed a reason watch it again .

---------------------------------------------
The real-life box droppin', man-ape gone wrong thing, now without the pesky falling boxes

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Quote:

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Originally posted by TenthCrewMember:

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Wash: MY EYES! MY EYES! Somebody BLIND ME!

Mal: Note to self: Never again get Jayne drunk enough to make him think he's a stripper.

Simon(OS): THIS must be what going mad feels like.

Kaylee(OS): Wonder where he found boxers with little fireflys on them...

Crowd(OS): TAKE IT OFF! TAKE IT ALL OFF!






KMS
'We're not obsessed, we're focused.'--Gizzie

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Mal: "Guess he don't like the cornbread either."



Everyone dies alone.

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Wash practices for his Oedipus Rex audition.


****************************************

'Trust me - I know what I'm doing!' - Sledge Hammer
**************
http://www.freewebs.com/mjspages/tempfireflypage.htm

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Quote:

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Originally posted by TenthCrewMember:

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Mal stared on in amazement as Jayne delivered the fastest Atomic Wedgie Wash had ever had the misfortune of recieving.

Kaylee: "What's so damn important about being proper? It don't mean nothing out here in the black."
Simon: "It means more out here. It's all I have..."

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Quote:

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Originally posted by TenthCrewMember:

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Wash: I DID NOT MURDER HIM!
Mal: (annoyed) Do I look like Will Smith to you?

Kaylee: "What's so damn important about being proper? It don't mean nothing out here in the black."
Simon: "It means more out here. It's all I have..."

---

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When Mal told Wash what would happen if he kept spoiling the punchline's of his jokes, the foolish pilot didn't believe him, to his own ruin...

OR

ALAN: "Hey, this isn't decaff... SUMMER!"
NATE (thinking): "That's my ruttin' joke!"


--------------------------------------------------
Barret: "I been here since the beginnin', an' I still don't know what the hell's goin' on either."
--------------------------------------------------
"...I'm not a man who likes to swear,
But I've never cared for the sound of bein' alone..." -Neil Diamond, I am... I said.

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I know that this scene takes place before my quoted reference, so don't hold it against me:

Wash: "And so I was like: 'You leave him alone! Take me instead!' And Mal was like: 'Yeah, take Wash...I'm way too pretty to...No! Not my ear! WAHHHH!' And so Niksa was like...."

Mal (Thinking): He's a good pilot...Serenity NEEDS a good pilot...

or

Wash (Horribly Off-Key): "JAAAAAYYNE! The man they call JAAAAAAYYNE!"
Mal (Thinking): Now I know why they don't allow guns on Canton

So far, my votes go to SimonWho for the reference everyone's favorite pastime of crotch punching and to Horrid's (intentional?) reference to 'Big Train' and the World Stare-Out Championship.

------------------------------------------------

'What people call impossible is just stuff they
haven't seen yet...'

------------------------------------------------

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Quote:

---

Originally posted by TenthCrewMember:
Ai ya! What a week of hi-larious action! Almost as funny as hitting a man with a closed fist! I tell you, this weeks winner was well deserved! But first, the honorable mentions (for week 18)...

Pumamanredux: MST3K cross-over. 'Nuff said.

---

*gets up to the podium and accepts his cheesy plastic statue of what else ... Mal wearing his tight pants*

"I want to thank the Academy and all those who liked the caption and Haken and heck the whole ruttin' 'verse."

'Trust me - I know what I'm doing!' - Sledge Hammer
**************
http://www.freewebs.com/mjspages/tempfireflypage.htm

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Quote:

---

---

Wash: "Worms! That was worms in my food? Acghk!"
Mal: (thinking) "Dim Sum's tricky these days. S'pose I could'a warned him. Yep, I'm a bad, bad man."

Japanese Windows error msg:
Screen.
Mind.
Both are Blank.

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Quote:

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Originally posted by manwithpez:

Wash: I DID NOT MURDER HIM!
Mal: (annoyed) Do I look like Will Smith to you?

---

LOL! I totally heard Sonny's voice when I read that!

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Quote:

---

---

Wash: ACCK! PHBBBTT!
In the past, Wash's Bill the Cat impression cracked Mal up. Today, nothing doing.

Kaylee: "What's so damn important about being proper? It don't mean nothing out here in the black."
Simon: "It means more out here. It's all I have..."

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Wash: This is the face Zoe made when I first asked her out

or

Alan screwing up yet another line in Chinese


My vote goes for Simonwho's first post!

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Quote:

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Originally posted by TenthCrewMember:

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There were quite some hillarious reactions when Jayne entered wearing one of Inaras outfits

They say it’s the last song
They don’t know us, you see
Its only the last song
If we let it be

http://www.darknessenemyinc.de.vu/

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Wash finally got to hear the monastic "natty thing" joke

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Quote:

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Originally posted by TenthCrewMember:

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Mal: Kaylee, I told you not to toss the olive with the toothpick still in it....

http://www.livejournal.com/users/tomehoarder/

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Wash: And she screamed like this.."AAHHHHUUUGGGGHHH"
Mal: Dude, bring my mom into one more joke and I'll sic Jayne on you.
Jayne (OS): Oh, I'll do it.

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Mal: "Guess he don't like the cornbread either."

For some of you "young whippersnappers" out there, my "cornbread" caption is from the movie "Aliens". Jeez, when I have to explain my joke, it ain't funny anymore



Everyone dies alone.

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Quote:

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Alan Tudyk often suffered from severe flashbacks after seeing Stephen Root in a bathing suit in "Dodgeball".

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Quote:

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While most of the cast was jubilant at the wrap party for "Serenity", Nathan Fillion was still haunted by his turn as Johnny on "Two Guys, A Girl, and a Pizza Place".

Kaylee: "What's so damn important about being proper? It don't mean nothing out here in the black."
Simon: "It means more out here. It's all I have..."

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[IMG] [/IMG]

Wash was devastated when Mal refused to take him to the crappy town where he was a hero.

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Mal did his best not to laugh as once again Wash fell for Kaylee's booby trapped strawberries filled with Chinese hot mustard.

It's a nothing part til you don't got one, then you have to go to ebay.....aaaaagh!

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Zoe apparently couldn't contain herself any longer.

*************************************************

'Trust me - I know what I'm doing!' - Sledge Hammer
**************
http://www.freewebs.com/mjspages/tempfireflypage.htm

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Quote:

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[IMG] [/IMG]

During his writhing, Wash wondered just why Mal's S'preperation H kicked in sooner than his had.

Kaylee: "What's so damn important about being proper? It don't mean nothing out here in the black."
Simon: "It means more out here. It's all I have..."

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*Mal, thinking* "Some bonehead out there is probably captioning this right now"

Keep flying

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Mal : Wash, Jayne's gynecologist joke wasn't *THAT* funny.

Keep flying

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In an unexpected burst of fraternity, Wash volunteers to act as goal post for Jayne's game of table football.

KMS
‘We’re not obsessed, we’re focused.’

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Sorry about the delay on voting...between my computer being a piece of go se and not being able to bring up this site once I beat my machine into submission...anyway, before I rant on...the poll should be up shortly.

My apologies again.

Cilantro!
TCM

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Avail yourself of my trade! I have original (meaning: designed by me!)
T-shirts, posters, mugs and more at
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http://vote.sparklit.com/web_poll.spark/898250

There's the link! Since I was late this week, voting will be today (3/21) and tomorrow (3/22) and I will post the winner and week 20 CT on Wednesday.

SRRY AGAIN!


TCM
Just once, I'd like things to go according to the gorram plan...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Avail yourself of my trade! I have original (meaning: designed by me!)
T-shirts, posters, mugs and more at
http://www.zazzle.com/contributors/home/default.asp?cid=23847914695881
5760
AND
http://www.cafepress.com/10thcrew
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In Ohio? Join us!
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/firefly-ohio

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*just a bump*

reminder that the voting is still open today until midnight EST!

Cilantro!
TCM

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Avail yourself of my trade! I have original (meaning: designed by me!)
T-shirts, posters, mugs and more at
http://www.zazzle.com/contributors/home/default.asp?cid=23847914695881
5760
AND
http://www.cafepress.com/10thcrew
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In Ohio? Join us!
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/firefly-ohio

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