Ten things I learned from watching Firefly

POSTED BY: Lerxst
UPDATED: Saturday, November 13, 2010 12:04
VIEWED: 82847
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THEREALME

Thursday, July 1, 2004 2:41 AM

Hair can be scarier than pain.

The Real Me

MANWITHPEZ

Tuesday, July 6, 2004 11:44 PM

Top Ten Things I learned from "Our Mrs. Reynolds"

1. What the hell are they feeding the women on Triumph? Cause, I'm about to charter a ship and head for the wilderness!

2. Handcrafted Rain Sticks...Never as good as a woman.

3. Naming a gun and dressing it in space suits is really no excuse to refer to it in the first person. Unless you're Jayne, and probably sleep with it.

4. While Wash may have wanted to be a butler at some point in his life, Saffron will not let anyone get Mal's cider but her.

5. Don't tell people you don't kiss 'em on the mouth if you're going to turn around and do it again in another episode.

6. Calling the captain a "fink" in Chinese is really, really hard to translate.

7. Made yourself ready? How exactly did you do that?

8. Hey! Captain Stupidpants! The space hooker did NOT kiss the con lady! SHE KISSED YOU! Moron.

9. When the Shepherd asks for an encyclopedia...unpleasantness ensues.

10. When the Captain asks for your real name...LOOK OUT!

Kaylee: "What's so damn important about being proper? It don't mean nothing out here in the black."
Simon: "It means more out here. It's all I have..."

PROFESSOR

Wednesday, July 7, 2004 1:02 AM

One thing I learned from JaynesTown

Doctors aren't interested in buying mud.

CAT85

Wednesday, July 7, 2004 1:23 AM

What I learned from watching Firefly

Doctors don't talk well to girls unless their drunk. (Jaynestown)

HONEY

Wednesday, July 7, 2004 6:48 AM

1) Crow likes to stand in the door to say, "Boo!"

2) If River tears a symbol out of your book, it turns to paper.

3) When you've crossed the magistrate of mud-central, it's best to hurry up and get on with your eerie-assed day.

4) If wishes were horses, we'd all be eatin' steak.

5) A shot of adrenaline to the heart cures blood loss.

6) Mal does the job, then he gets paid.

7) If reavers aren't chasing you, they are probably not hungry.

8) Wash knows all the steps.

9) Zoe likes a dress with some slink.

10) The red couple doesn't do much; it just tends to muck up the works when it gets tacked.

11) Book has some nice sermons prepared -- one has lepers.

12) Jayne saw that coming.

REGINLEIF

Wednesday, July 7, 2004 7:44 AM

Yay! My first message ever here!

- Sometimes thing gets broke can't be fixed.
- It's hard to lok respectable when wearing tight-pants.
- A Companion doesn't kiss and tell.
- Jayne can be useful when getting into trouble but don't let him take over.
- Space bugs bite.

Umm... I ran out of ideas for now.
So that's all.

TJACK

Monday, July 12, 2004 8:21 AM

This weekend I learned there's nothing better than watching your friends fall in love with the show right in front of you.
They were willing to watch the pilot movie just to be polite and ended up watching the whole series inside of 48 hrs.

When faced with a moral question I ask myself; "What would The Lone Ranger do?"

GAVIDA

Thursday, August 5, 2004 12:26 PM

Ok, although it seems the thread fell asleep I want to say what I learned from FF that was not already mentioned before:

Spaceships have toilets!

(actually FF was the first show where I actually saw someone use a toilet or even have the need to do it :) )

Keep flying,
Gavida

THEREALME

Friday, August 6, 2004 4:14 AM

No, I think that the ground-breaking space toilet scene was in a men's room on Babylon 5. Though, technically, you could claim that Babylon 5 was a space station, not a space ship.

Hmmmm...

Sptoilet?

The Real Me

GAVIDA

Friday, August 6, 2004 8:42 AM

Hmm, probably didn't follow B5 long enough to see the innovative interstellar restrooms hehe

YT

Friday, August 6, 2004 10:02 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by manwithpez:
No, really, even my own father wanted to see that episode, and he don't like the show.

Maybe he's gay too...

Do you two ever find yourselves watching the weather channel together?

Keep the Shiny Side Up

Wutzon: Little Feat, "Time Loves a Hero", from "Waiting for Columbus"

YT

Friday, August 6, 2004 10:12 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Gavida:
Spaceships have toilets!

(actually FF was the first show where I actually saw someone use a toilet or even have the need to do it :) )

In 2001, not only were there toilets, they worked in zero G, and had instructions on the door.

Keep the Shiny Side Up

Wutzon: Stevie Ray Vaughan, "Blind Side o' Life"

GAVIDA

Friday, August 6, 2004 11:18 AM

Well, 2001 was not exactly a SiFi-Tv-Show

Keep flying,
Gavida

JENSKI

Friday, August 6, 2004 2:43 PM

I'm new, but I've done my homework and read all that has come before me.

So here's a new one...

There ain't nothin' prettier than the pitter patter of tiny feet in big ol' combat boots.

THEREALME

Saturday, August 7, 2004 1:44 AM

Welcome, Jenski!

Enjoy your stay. This is the thread that got me hooked on this site.

The Real Me

LAILING

Thursday, September 2, 2004 11:32 PM

This is the best thread I've ever read.
>
>
>A contribution: Firefly fans are nice, creative and hi-larious.
>
>
>
>(Oh, yeah, and BUMP!)

^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*
"They've gone to *plaid*!"

KARLATRX

Thursday, September 9, 2004 6:07 PM

If you tell Jayne he has a girl's name he will offer to show you his man parts.

It's hard to think of a way that Jayne could be more crude.

Zoe and Wash are private people.

Wash likes Zoe's legs and where her legs meet her back and that whole area and everything above it.

Falling in love with a show that gets cancelled before it answers any of the fascinating questions that it raises...SUCKS!

COSMICFUGITIVE

Monday, September 20, 2004 11:03 AM

This is the first post I've made. There might be some repeats, but here it goes...

1) A bad day is when someone's yelling spooks the cattle.

2) 'You protect the man your with. You watch his back.'

3) 'Reputation is people talking. Is gossip.'

4) Don't yell at the crazy girl with the gun. It'll make things worse.

5) The bad guys always wear hats.

6)'Shepherd's a purely figurative title'.

7) Never sneak up on a guy while he's handling a loaded weapon.

8) Whenever in a hostage situation, always keep your head. (To keep your head).

9) Never drink excessive amounts of sake. Unless you want to be arrested by the Feds.

10) 'Every problem is an opportunity in disguise'

Quote:
"It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare; It is because we do not dare that they are difficult." -SENECA

BOOKSWORD

Tuesday, September 21, 2004 12:31 PM

10 ) - Never argue with a man who names his Gun 'Vera '. Vera might want to voice her opinion.

9)- ' Shiny' is a word that doesnt get old.

8)- Never kiss them on the mouth ( Thanks Jayne)

7) - Never tell Jayne Cobb he has a girls name. Vera might voice her disaprovel.

6)- In space like on Earth, its not about right or wrong, but who has the bigger gun.

5)- The only thing cooler then a worldly and kindly man of the cloth. Is a man of a cloth who kicks ass.

4)- History is written by the winners, agued against by the losers, and forgotten by the dead.

3)- Nine people, nine disfunctions on a ship called ' Serenity.' How is that not funny !

2)-Lessons from Shepard Book - accept people as they are and see the light in them. From the cynic to the self interested merc, to the companion andthe madwomen. For in finding their light you find your way out of the dark.

1)- Firefly - you only truly appreciate true greatness when its no longer there.

BOOKSWORD

Tuesday, September 21, 2004 4:17 PM

10)- Jubal Early - Knowing right from wrong, and finding wrong to be more fun.

9)- Shepard Book - If your pointing a Gun at this man and he aint scared, you better be.

8)- People are idiots, people in power are just idiots with money

7)- River Tam - Guns dont kill people , Complex matmatical equations kill people.

6) - Shepard Book - If my local pastor started waving a rifle around during sermons, I would proberly pay more attention.

5)- Jubal Earl - Midgets - Pyromanic tendencies- enclosed spaces = not good

4)- When your sister is now a talking ship - not even Dr Phil can save you.

3)- Kaylee - Always greet life with hope and a bright smile, if you stay in one spot and think about it. That spot is all you will ever know.

2) - Shepard Book - The good book is willing to turn a blind eye when your shooting bastards who are asking for it.

1)- Mal - They can take away your cause, they can take away your land, but they can never take away the sky. Its always there and its always home.

QBPHOENIX

Tuesday, September 21, 2004 6:04 PM

After being shot in the leg, make sure you take some Prozac with coffee before seeing the doctor (to keep from going crazy and falling asleep).

If you were raped to death, cannibalized and then made into a jacket, be grateful; things could have been worse.

GUILDSISTER

Tuesday, September 21, 2004 7:05 PM

Learning to curse in mispronounced Chinese is of minimal value when attempting to communicate with friendly Chinese-speaking people.

Learning to read the Chinese characters for various curse words is of no value when in a Chinese restaurant... though it could be and that's value enough.

Guildsister

COSMICFUGITIVE

Wednesday, September 22, 2004 9:00 PM

I thought of a few more:

Jayne: "Anyone who can't find work ain't looking hard enough." (Ariel)

Jayne: "If I'd wanted schooling, I'd have gone to school." (Ariel)

Quote:
"In victory you deserve champagne, in defeat you need it." NAPOLEON

YT

Tuesday, October 12, 2004 7:51 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Lerxst:
There's no sound in space.

Hmmm. I'm not sure how to phrase the related lesson(s).

There's no sound in space when Joss is directing, but there is sound when Tim is directing.

-or-

I learned that there's no sound in space, but Tim didn't.

Keep the Shiny Side Up

Wutzon: Los Lobos, "Manny's Bones", from "Colossal Head"

THEREALME

Friday, October 15, 2004 7:02 AM

From “Jaynestown”:

If you really want to spend a night with an expensive, certified Companion, just let your uptight father think you’re gay. He’ll fork out the cash.

Just because you own lots of mud and have a moon named after you doesn’t mean the Companion will be interested in YOU.

Somewhere, there’s a crappy town where YOU’RE a hero.

After a night of heavy drinking, if you wake up with a pretty mechanic lying on top of you, give her a gentle kiss, smile at her, and say, “Good morning.” Don’t get all flustered and loudly proclaim before an audience that you’d never want to bed her. This will only ruin the moment.

But if you DO say something that stupid, then arrange to get your ass kicked by a brutish thug. At least, she’ll feel sorry for you and call you “darling”.

An unschooled thug who steals and shoots people for a living gets laid more regularly than a proper doctor being chased by a beautiful mechanic.

A living legend needs his eggs.

You protect the man you're with. You watch his back. Unless there’s a LOT of money involved. Then you improvise.

If Bugs isn’t around, you can get Jayne to handle Yosemite Sam.

Mudders make good shields.

Scary hair cannot get you if you hide in a dark closet.

But the hair will always be there… waiting.

Being proper don’t mean nuthin’ out in the Black… except to Simon.

The Real Me

YT

Saturday, January 22, 2005 2:24 AM

It's been in limbo for a season. Just thought it's about time to resurrect what may be the greatest thread ever.

Keep the Shiny Side Up

NYWOE

Saturday, January 22, 2005 5:00 PM

Thanks YT, I had a lot of fun reading these!

CASUALTY

Saturday, January 22, 2005 6:00 PM

I've been thinking of a few. It's not quite 10 though. I wonder how long it will be before we run out of lessons from Firefly?

- You don't have to care where you're going, coz how you get there's the worthier part.

- When given the choice between a lecture and dinner accept the dinner, lepers have a habit of putting you off your food.

- Strawberries can get you in the good books of a cute mechanic.

- Many things can be said useing just your eyes, pay attention or you might not get the cance to die of old age before the bullet finds you.

- You just gotta have faith in people.

- Jayne's a very up person.

If nothing we do means anything then the only thing that means anything is what we do.

ARAMINA

Sunday, January 23, 2005 6:36 PM

Hey there, long time Bronzer, no time fireflyfans (fire flans?) poster:

1. Pompus doctors are great at being sarcastic.
2. Crazy people are always there in the clinch.
3. Never call a whore a whore.
4. They don't like it when you shoot at them.
5. If you know a foreign language you can swear without being beeped.
6. Pompus doctors look nice topless.
7. Pompus doctors are handy to have around.
8. Pompus doctors are the best criminal masterminds.
9. Captain Tightpants looks damn nice as a paramedic.
10. Aramina is slightly attracted to the entire male main cast, Shepherds not withstanding.

Hmm...this post seems to have taken a bit of a turn for the less than academic.

THEREALME

Sunday, January 23, 2005 9:11 PM

Welcome, Aramina. This is a great place.

The Real Me

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you.)

ARAMINA

Monday, January 24, 2005 6:56 PM

Thank you.

It's taking me a while to get used to the threaded thing. I've been posting at the Bronze for four years and I'm used to being able to see what everyone is saying at the same time.

How do you get to know anyone here? It's too hard

GORRAMREAVERS

Monday, January 24, 2005 7:21 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by YT:
Quote:
Originally posted by Lerxst:
There's no sound in space.

Hmmm. I'm not sure how to phrase the related lesson(s).

There's no sound in space when Joss is directing, but there is sound when Tim is directing.

-or-

I learned that there's no sound in space, but Tim didn't.

Keep the Shiny Side Up

Wutzon: Los Lobos, "Manny's Bones", from "Colossal Head"

Did Tim mess up? There was sound in 'The Message' but they had broken atmo.

"..it is my very favorite gun."

YT

Monday, January 24, 2005 9:16 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Gorramreavers:
Did Tim mess up? There was sound in 'The Message' but they had broken atmo.

There was also sound the first two times the Feds shot @them, when they were surrounded by the blackness of space. Heck, the first shot came when they were jus' cruisin' along, minding their own business, with no thought to immediate planetfall.

Keep the Shiny Side Up

Wutzon: Sting, "Desert Rose", from "Brand New Day"

YT

Monday, January 24, 2005 9:38 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Casualty:
I've been thinking of a few. It's not quite 10 though.

To paraphrase an oldie but goodie: Six hard is better than ten floppy.

Quote:
I wonder how long it will be before we run out of lessons from Firefly?

I suspect (this thread was dormant for a season) that we are running out of lessons. But I think the BDM is gonna bring many new flans to Firefy, some of whom will find this site. With new eyes to see, ears to hear, we may find there are lessons yet to learn from Firefly.

I said "Six" above 'cause you gave six aphorisms with a dash afore 'em. But there's a seventh @the bottom of your post, without a dash, that is one of the most important lessons I learned from Firefly. Your sig?

Quote:
If nothing we do means anything then the only thing that means anything is what we do.

Keep the Shiny Side Up

Wutzon: Gene Chandler, "Duke of Earl"

THEREALME

Tuesday, January 25, 2005 12:11 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Aramina:
Thank you.

It's taking me a while to get used to the threaded thing. I've been posting at the Bronze for four years and I'm used to being able to see what everyone is saying at the same time.

How do you get to know anyone here? It's too hard

Well, it depends on what you are looking for.

For serious discussion about Firefly or its mysteries, there are numerous threads out there (many which must be called up from archive). We have discussed things like:

Does Firefly take place in one or many solar systems (and the related Faster Than Light drive question)?

Who is/was Book, REALLY?

Is Jayne loyal to Mal, or will he really betray Mal on that "interesting day"?

What is Inara running from?

What was the Academy trying to do to River, and why is she so valuable.

Does River REALLY have "psychic abilities", or is she just very perceptive?

It goes on and on. Also there are marvelous deck plans of Serenity drawn by someone who was certainly obsessed and/or had a lot of time on his hands.

However, many of us veterns on this site have already put in our two cents worth on these topics. Although some new insights could help to re-kindle interest, perhaps.

Anyway, if you are looking for just having fun and getting more than a bit silly, you can join us in the Treehouse. It is a place where some of us go to play around, getting creative and absurd. You WILL get to know some folks, their personalites, and their quirks, including our fearless leader Ebonezer, ThatWeirdGirl, Mal-licious, SimonWho, PsychicRiver, and myself, The Real Me.

There are a number of Treehouse/clubhouse threads which I enumerate toward the beginning of the current one.

In the past, we have had parties, declared war on other threads, taken extra-dimensional trips, fought Eldritch Horrors from the Purple Dimension, and created lots of cool (and ridiculous) inventions. Currently, the ladies are trying to get the men to participate in some kind of cross-dressing beauty contest.

If you care to check it out, tell them that The Real Me invited you.

The Real Me

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you.)

GORRAMREAVERS

Tuesday, January 25, 2005 12:31 AM

That for replying YT..Ill watch for that.

Wasnt this a direct quote from Angel? :

Quote:
If nothing we do means anything then the only thing that means anything is what we do.

"..it is my very favorite gun."

YT

Tuesday, January 25, 2005 1:15 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Gorramreavers:
Wasnt this a direct quote from Angel? :

Quote:
If nothing we do means anything then the only thing that means anything is what we do.

I wouldn't know; I've never watched an ep of Angel. I forced my way through season 1 of Buffy, 'cause I have many friends who love that show perhaps half as passionately as I love Firefly, but I lack the strength & will to push myself further. I did find Angel by far the most (perhaps the only) interesting character in the first few eps of Buffy. Or maybe it was just that David Boreanaz was magnetic in the role.

Keep the Shiny Side Up

Wutzon: Mickey Hart, "Down the Road", from "Mickey Hart's Mystery Box"

CASUALTY

Tuesday, January 25, 2005 1:42 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Gorramreavers:
Wasnt this a direct quote from Angel? :

Quote:
If nothing we do means anything then the only thing that means anything is what we do.

I think it was a direct quote, or an approximation of a quote. I heard it on the commentary of, I think it was Out of Gas, but it might have been any of the others Joss commented on. Took me a while to figure out what it meant, but I think I understand.

Also, thanks to that quote, I have recruted a few others to the joys of Firefly.

"If nothing we do means anything then the only thing that means anything is what we do"

GORRAMREAVERS

Tuesday, January 25, 2005 2:32 PM

Quote:

I wouldn't know; I've never watched an ep of Angel. I forced my way through season 1 of Buffy, 'cause I have many friends who love that show perhaps half as passionately as I love Firefly, but I lack the strength & will to push myself further. I did find Angel by far the most (perhaps the only) interesting character in the first few eps of Buffy. Or maybe it was just that David Boreanaz was magnetic in the role.

YT...I think if I started Buffy at season 1 I might not have gotten into it. I was at a friends house and watch a couple of early season 4 episodes and got hooked. I recently got season 1 on DVD and I enjoy it now but it isnt near as good as the following seasons (imho). The show really is worth getting into.

"..it is my very favorite gun."

ARAMINA

Tuesday, January 25, 2005 7:09 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by TheRealMe:
Anyway, if you are looking for just having fun and getting more than a bit silly, you can join us in the Treehouse.

There are a number of Treehouse/clubhouse threads which I enumerate toward the beginning of the current one.

Help me help me I'm lost and confused! Where is this Tree house? Do I need a ladder and a licence to climb it?

COSMICFUGITIVE

Tuesday, January 25, 2005 7:25 PM

Hey Aramina,

If you'd like to join 'The MUCH faster-loading, floating treehouse' you can access it through the General Discussions forum in the Community.
(The other treehouses can be found in the same area too.)

Keep flyin'!

__________________________________________________

"I only fell is all."

MAGICALTREVOR

Wednesday, February 16, 2005 10:43 AM

The Medical Ethics of Firefly

Whilst Hipppocrates was pretty clear on the harm issue, he was a little shady on the subject of sending someone to sleepyland when they didn't actually ask to go.

It was implied consent.....

Trev.

Wisdom teeth can be stupid.

REAVERINA1985RIVIERA

Saturday, February 19, 2005 12:21 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Ankhagogo:

Engine grease makes some girls prettier.

As a mechanic, I can verify the "truthicity" of that statement.

---------------------------------------------
The real-life box droppin', man-ape gone wrong thing, without the pesky falling boxes

REAVERINA1985RIVIERA

Saturday, February 19, 2005 1:09 PM

1-Being a box-dropin', man-ape-gone-wrong-thing can earn you the respect and admiration of an entire town. And your very own riot.

2-One of you is gonna fall and die and I'm not cleanin' it up!
---------------------------------------------
The real-life box droppin', man-ape gone wrong thing, but without the pesky falling boxes

BOOKSWORD

Tuesday, February 22, 2005 9:01 PM

I love this thread is still going hot

10)- The only thing dummer then a Fox excecutive, is a WB executive

9)- If a woman is in your bed and all articulate like, you may want to shoot her.

8)- Jayne has boy parts, take his word on it.

7)- Purple is the new black people.

6)- Two fry is not much of a name to have on your gravestone.

5)- Saffon says - Marriage is never easy, drugs, fist fights and occasional gunfire may be involved.

4)- Thrilling heroics is usually accompinied with questionable head gear.

3)- If shepard Book had bought bannans instead of strawberries in the pilot. They would have showed the pilot first.

2)- After getting shot the last thing you want to hear is ' You killed yourself son, I just held the bullet for a while.'
It really doesnt help.

1)-Nothing inspires Husband loyalty then a wife and her pinkie of instant death.

SHADOWORBUST

Wednesday, February 23, 2005 9:44 PM

Here's a few things I learned:

-Folks like a man of God.

-No, they don't. Men of God make everyone feel guilty and judged.

-Even walking into an Alliance Police Station to retrieve your son will go on your permanent record.

-Mal thinks of the bachelor ranks as noble.

-The gold revolver's history is violence and crime.

-So's Mal's.

-Simon'd have to relax for thirty seconds to get his play, and that'd more or less be a miracle.

-Never suggest Mal ought to be working for the Alliance.

-Most are on Saffron inside of five minutes.

-Wash is good enough to hit a bullseye 100 miles away.

-From Deleted Scenes: History is programmed by the winners.

-Brothers and sisters can get married on some planets, but only the pretty bad ones.

-River is really crazy, but if you say it within her earshot, you get kicked in the shin.

-A pillow is not a baby.

---
"As surely as the bullet rips through the victim's flesh, organ, and bone, it shatters the image of the man who pulled the trigger." -Max Payne

SUPERANT

Sunday, February 27, 2005 4:15 AM

Here are some things I learned

"No Power in the 'Verse can stop me"

"How come it looks like a frozen dinner plate?"

"They're whores." "I'm in"

It's not a problem, because... it's just not"

"You can shoot them" "Shoot them politely"

"when your supervisor hears about the rude and disrupt.." "Clear"

"I've been waiting for you to kiss me since I showed you my guns"

SIXGUN

Sunday, February 27, 2005 7:34 AM

Things I learned from Firefly

1)We work before we play.

2)Hold your ground.

3)Reavers ain't men.

4)As a rule, girl folk ain't to be trusted.

5)Beautiful women feeding cows milk and hay three times a day is somethin' to see.

6)Don't send your surgeon on a walk before talking to your dispreputable men.

7)Birthday is a vestigial mode of time measurement based on solar cycles.

8)It's amazin' what nothin' can do to a man.

9)When a man engages in clandestine dealings he has his preference for things being smooth.

10)Everybody dies alone.

11)A fresh brand's a dead give away.

12)Less muscle the more tender the meat.

13)Governments are for gettin' in a man's way.

14) One block of grade A foodstuffs will feed a family for a month. Longer if they don't like their kids too well.

15)For a man to lay beaten and yet breathing makes him a coward.

16)Noah's ark is a problem.

17)If your life support goes out you'll freeze to death before you suffocate.

18)The ancestral form of beer the Egyptians fed their slaves kept them from starving to death and knocked them out at night so they wouldn't be inclined to insurrection.

19)Can't miss a place you've never been.

20)Apparently there IS kissin'.

Well, as a rule I say girl folk ain't to be trusted.

RIVERNOT

Friday, April 8, 2005 10:36 AM

Been lurkin' a while. Just found this thread. Here's two y'all missed.

Never go a tradin' without your bullet-proof vest on.

Easy-peasy is better than humped.

MANWITHPEZ

Friday, April 8, 2005 11:52 AM

The Top Ten Things I Learned From Watching "Objects In Space":

1. Even if you're in space, you might want to watch the windows from time to time. There might be a peeping tom.

2. It is impossible for someone to fuse with a ship. I don't care how crazy or smart or how complicated her childhood was.

3. Don't go visiting a crazy, sadistic bounty hunter's intentions. He's got a mean bitchslap.

4. If you're walking down the hall of your own ship, and you see someone who shouldn't be there, don't think, just hit the bastard.

5. If you bide your time, waiting for an opportunity to take out a crazy bounty hunter, you won't succeed, and will, in fact, get yourself shot for the effort. The point is...never try.

6. Was beating a Shepherd unconcious part of the plan? It is if that ain't a Shepherd.

7. For all his love of money, and a mother who loves him, you'd think Jayne would have a blanket somewhere.

8. If you, in a dream, pick up an errant stick, for God's sake, don't point it at anyone.

9. Who could fix the doctor if he got shot? Zoe, that's who!

10. Resign to your fate. If you were a cool enough character, and your "resurrection" is all the more improbable...Joss Whedon will bring you back for an ominous turn as the "Big Bad" someday. Floating off in the blackness of outer space is no reason to give up!

Whew! Been ahile, but honestly, I was waiting for someone to bring the thread back!

Kaylee: "What's so damn important about being proper? It don't mean nothing out here in the black."
Simon: "It means more out here. It's all I have..."

THEREALME

Friday, April 8, 2005 2:36 PM

Pez! It's just like the good old days!

The Real Me, First Officer of the Sereni-Tree

(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you. But he CAN receive e-mail at realme@pcibroadband.net.)

RIVERNOT

Friday, April 8, 2005 4:56 PM

The rest of my Ten Things. (Thought of 'em when I couldn't go to sleep. Figures.)

Quote:

1. Never go a tradin' without your bullet-proof vest on.

2. Easy-peasy is better than humped.

3. A great doc will stick out his neck & save someone when a bad doc screws up.

4. Just because a girl is always wearing overalls and smudged with engine grease doesn't mean she wouldn't like to get dressed up and go to a big party.

5. Just because a girl smiles a lot and makes goofy comments doesn't mean she can't hold her own in a conversation.

6. Some rules are the same whether you're on a space ship or in a house:
a. Last one up makes sure all the lights are off.
b. A stranger in your house after bedtime is bad news.
c. The dishes still have to be done.
d. Some types of laundry really do need to hang dry.

7. Shuttles dock a lot faster than you'd think.

8. Wackos are, indeed, universal.

9. Everyone needs a red button.

10. Now matter how hard they try (and they ain't), FOX is still huh choo-sheng tza-jiao duh tzang-huo luh-suh.

(Thanks HAPLO721 and JASONZZZ for the Mandarine.)

PETITRHINO

Friday, April 8, 2005 5:23 PM

Pheww. I finished reading the thread. And also gorrammit, this site keeps logging me off!!

Here's my contribution:

The colour of your coat makes a statement,

The colour of your belly too, for that matter.

Elephants can fly! Just the purple ones though.

You need a 54R sniper rifle, laser sights, to shoot a rabbit,

Coins ought to be carefully cleaned,

"I'm not leaving Serenity"

It's fun to make a poster when you've got all that browncoat support with you, see here: http://www.fireflyfans.net/sunroomitem.asp?i=3416

Once you start highjacking threads, you can never stop

MANWITHPEZ

Tuesday, April 19, 2005 6:10 PM

Bump...I want to post here again, and I don't want to lose the thread...more later...

Kaylee: "What's so damn important about being proper? It don't mean nothing out here in the black."
Simon: "It means more out here. It's all I have..."

MANWITHPEZ

Tuesday, April 19, 2005 6:28 PM

Top Ten Things I Learned From Watching "Safe":

1. If you're ever in a firefight, and you're not sure where the bullets are flying, look to the man of God. Pretty much a magnet.

2. If your crazy sister is feeling especially honest with the town patron, try to find a way to shut her up. The town patron has a mean bitchslap.

3. Stopping to watch your sister cut a rug is no reason to get yourself snatched.

4. Apparently the words "Talent for alienating folk is damn near miraculous" is an inaudible phrase.

5. Damn it, Doctor! Do you not hear the hot mechanic? Holes! POSTS! Schmuck.

6. Town Teacher=Tattle Tale. Remember that later on, and you might not find yourself getting burned at the stake.

7. If your brother is being led through the woods by three strange and dirty men, it is not an invitation to play "Hide and Seek".

8. Takes a long time to polish up a pile of money.

9. If you're on the crew, no matter how much the Captain don't like you, he'll probably come get you. Don't push it though.

10. God's will? Shit, even though he's a hundred feet in the air, and its a shotgun, its got a laser sight mounted on it! Now that makes Jayne scary!

Kaylee: "What's so damn important about being proper? It don't mean nothing out here in the black."
Simon: "It means more out here. It's all I have..."

MANWITHPEZ

Tuesday, April 19, 2005 7:19 PM

The Top Ten Things I Learned From Watching "Ariel":

1. Be he a drug dealer, or a doctor, Simon knows the street value of the drugs at his disposal.

2. "We applied the cortical electrodes, but were unable to get a neural reaction from either patient." See! How hard was that?

3. When Jayne swears something, hand to God, you better check his other hand to make sure his fingers aren't crossed.

4. When you don't have a keel to haul traitors from, you make due with what you got.

5. Do you want to tell me why you're giving a vaso-constrictor to this patient? Do ya? Thought not...punk!

6. Smiling and going the wrong direction in a core hospital is like to get you fired.

7. The Captain's lockpicking skills are not really up to snuff. If you hear him on the other side of a locked door, you might want to move.

8. When your psychic sister is terrified and says "They're here", get moving! The Blue Hands don't leave witnesses. Might not want to talk to River Tam if your a hospital guard either.

9. When you've just unsuccessfully tried to screw over your Captain, and he asks for your help in stowing the stolen goods, check to see if he has a wrench in his hand!

10. If you've just admitted to the Captain that you tried to sell out some of his crew, and he allows you to live, you should probably look forward to spending the night in the airlock.

Kaylee: "What's so damn important about being proper? It don't mean nothing out here in the black."
Simon: "It means more out here. It's all I have..."

MANWITHPEZ

Tuesday, April 19, 2005 7:45 PM

Top Ten Things I Learned From Watching "The Message":

1. If you start an autopsy on a man who's alive, you might end up having to endure the sight of your Captain straddling a butt nekkid dude.

2. Stealth? Malcolm Reynolds has no need for stealth.

3. See Kaylee? When you turn your attention from the Doctor, the guy who you turn your attention to might just use you for a human shield and get blood in your hair.

4. Mutated cattle fetuses, Ice Planets, goofy looking orange hats, dead guys...Some skyplexes have something for everyone.

5. Where was the pilot who calmly piloted Serenity from the Reavers on Whitefall? Cause that ain't the same guy flying the boat on St. Albans.

6. Police procedure might have changed from the time Wash was little, but Shepherd Book sure knows a lot about it.

7. When you steal a bunch of organs from people, and you leave a trail of bodies to be followed, kill a few extra folk and leave a false trail. Might help you, Mal, and the Allied Postal Service out later.

8. A dead body that might have gold stored in it might not be so dead.

9. Apparently, the casket of a recently deceased war veteran/buddy is a very comfortable place to be.

10. Strangely, a lot of umpleasantness might have been avoided if Tracey had just been told the plan. If you have a plan, tell any fidgety, armed corpses first, next time, huh?

Kaylee: "What's so damn important about being proper? It don't mean nothing out here in the black."
Simon: "It means more out here. It's all I have..."

STILLSHINY

Tuesday, April 19, 2005 7:50 PM

Oh, heck why not.

Thought I'd let you know the top 21 things I learned from Firefly Shirt has been changed to show the new release date as September 2005. In fact I'm in process of updating all my shirts, it's been a while & I've been busy. But since manwithpez is resurrecting this topic i feel inspired. Check out the shirt and see if one of your top "favorite" things is listed.

http://www.zazzle.com/contributors/products/product/product.asp?cid=23
8187680745956238&caching=on&product%5Fid=235484307794062352&index=2

Check out my shop! Firefly & LOST products.
http://www.zazzle.com/contributors/products/gallery/browse_results.asp
?cid=238187680745956238

"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I took the road less traveled by and they CANCELLED MY FRIKKIN' SHOW. I totally shoulda took the road that had all those people on it. Damn." --Joss

MANWITHPEZ

Tuesday, April 19, 2005 8:07 PM

Top Ten Things I Learned From Watching "War Stories":

1. Yes...there's obeying going on right under your nose...so what?

2. What this marriage needs isn't one less husband, its one less Niska!

3. When Adelai Niska tortures you to death, you might want to think twice about putting another one of his henchmen through your engine.

4. So quick to blame River! Hey Zoe! Wash messed with the shuttle, not River. Just because she's moon brained don't make her a shuttle fiddler!

5. Speaking of fiddling, when your ear gets cut off, and the doctor who just reattached tells you not to fiddle with it...don't fiddle with it!

6. Inara in some hot girl on girl action. "I'll be in my bunk." may yet prove to be this show's greatest contribution to pop culture.

7. Hey, if I've just been tortured all day, and you see me struggling with the guy that did it, don't assume its something I have to do on my own!

8. Firefight, fire, fry cook oppurtunity...we all take the jobs we can get when we can.

9. Torture=Wife Soup. Now, I like soup, but that better be some damn great soup!

10. When your Captain has just had some strange device attached to his chest that involved blades and his heart stopping, watch where you hit him when you find free soup.

Kaylee: "What's so damn important about being proper? It don't mean nothing out here in the black."
Simon: "It means more out here. It's all I have..."

MANWITHPEZ

Wednesday, April 20, 2005 1:56 AM

Top Ten Things I Learned From Watching "Heart Of Gold":

1. If you ever want a disturbing mental image, just put Jayne next to a bunch of whores. He will mention his John Thomas, becoming his most poetical about his pecker. Ewww...

2. A dead horse is just cover...shoot the man on the horse. Unless that horse is a landspeeder with a mounted gun, and the man is carrying a laser pistol. Then its just a recipe for unpleasantness.

3. The Jayne Cobb school of gunhandling carries some "stiff" penalties for pulling the trigger instead of squeezing.

4. Pregnant hookers might have interesting people inside them waiting to get out.

5. How you gonna tell the Captain time and again that you don't service crew, and then cry when he finally gets some booty from someone else...For SHAME, space hooker!

6. While having boy-whores around might be considerate, they may not service womenfolk. They're just for the sly guys. Kinda makes you wonder what kind of cowboy town has enough gay men in it to warrant a gang of boy-whores.

7. Apparently assisting Jayne in a firefight means handing him guns. Might be a good position to be in if you need your hair brushed.

8. Being the father of a whore's kid is a mighty dangerous line of work. And, for the love of God, never, ever try to meet your son.

9. A good powder dicharge weapon vs. a light, handheld laser that overheats. Technology can only be of service as long as its taken care of well. What did we learn?

10. While hitting a man with a closed fist may be, on occasion, hilarious, its nowhere near as satisfying as hitting a man with a pistol butt!

Kaylee: "What's so damn important about being proper? It don't mean nothing out here in the black."
Simon: "It means more out here. It's all I have..."

MANWITHPEZ

Thursday, April 21, 2005 12:05 AM

The Top Ten Things I Learned From Watching "Bushwhacked":

1. A bunch of dead bodies makes a horrible chandeleir. Seems a bunch of Reavers were watching "Jeepers, Creepers" just prior to hijacking this ship.

2. Come on...admit it. When Serenity docked with that ship, I wasn't the only staring at the screen when those tentacles came out, thinking "What the hell...?"

3. When its dark, and your back is turned, a little guy who thinks he's a Reaver can seem pretty big.

4. When you send Jayne in to loot a ship, seems like the only thing you're going to get is food.

5. While Simon may be a genius doctor, he don't know much about spacewalking.

6. How many times have I said Trust your Captain. He might seem like he has your worst interests at heart, but that's just the way Joss likes to tell a story. Plus, he probably thinks its funny that someone so terrified of space would have to cling to the side of a spaceship.

7. When someone you've just rescued from a Reaver gutted ship starts talking about mercy and livestock...he's up to no good.

8. The enemy of my enemy is my friend...or not. That guy sure killed a lot of purplebellies, though.

9. Being argumentative, stating the favorite part of your wife, pointing out what's wrong with Alliance technology, saying nothing...we all choose to answer certain questions our own way.

10. Save the commanding officer's life, you don't get to profit. Wouldn't be civilized. Would it have been more civilized to let that guy eat that purplebelly?

Kaylee: "What's so damn important about being proper? It don't mean nothing out here in the black."
Simon: "It means more out here. It's all I have..."

MARKSANGEL

Saturday, April 23, 2005 6:42 AM

1-10
"When you can't run you crawl and when you can't do that you find someone to carry you."
~The Message
This is the Best Lesson of All!!!:)
(besides the killing ppl one! lol)

~STR~
"When you can't run you crawl...and when you can't do that you find someone to carry you"

MALICIOUS

Tuesday, April 26, 2005 1:24 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by manwithpez:

1. A bunch of dead bodies makes a horrible chandeleir.

(ringing of the telephone...)

"Hello? Home Depot? This is Mal-Licious. Yeah, I need to cancel an order..."

Mal-licious

I think I will add cursing and the hurling about of things to my repertoire.

MANWITHPEZ

Monday, May 2, 2005 10:15 PM

Finally! The last Firefly Top Ten! I'm not done yet, but this is the last one that will deal with the TV show itself!

So, because its the longest, and I wanted to save it for a longer list here is:

The Top Ten...no TWENTY Things I Learned From Watching Serenity:

1. Bendis might have a chiseled jaw, and be too pretty to die, but there's a hail of Alliance gunfire that says otherwise.

2. Let's moon em'? I know Jayne meant this figuratively, but mooning may have taken on a whole new meaning in the spaceship capable future.

3. If you have sex for money, you really can't expect much in the way of kindness from your clientele. Not after you have to kick him out of your shuttle, that is.

4. Last I checked, you didn't have to ever be married to be a grandfather.

5. Something look a little funny about the guy who's a little too overdressed to be riding on a boat like Serenity? Besides the red John Lennon shades, that is? (Bwahahaha! Those things crack me up)

6. Wash! Simon asked you to be careful with that box! God only knows what's in there.

7. Strawberries...strawberries, strawberries...I'll be in my bunk.

8. If you're a hot ship's mechanic, be careful of what's going on in the cargohold. A fed who likes to shoot at girls when he's nervous might be in there.

9. Pain ain't all that scary...Jayne, now that's scary!

10. If you want to dramatically kick the top off a box to see what a guy like Simon would kill for, you better be prepared to see his frozen, nekkid sister. And the box don't make her look fat!

11. Lawrence Dobson not knowing how to lie is damn disappointing. Jayne is an ear man.

12. Do not mention urine in any form when a business man with roots in the community and a very fine hat mentions the word "fluid".

13. Hey, Dr. Tam! When Reavers are outside the ship, and the Captain has called Zoe to the bridge...that's not the best time to say "I don't understand."

14. Telling a doctor that his patient is dead and that you're going to throw him off your spaceship is really, really funny! And psychotic.

15. You know, it wouldn't hurt Patience to try and at least lie about trying to shoot Mal again.

16. Alliance Supplement meal bars are great for a family just starting out...so long as they don't have kids.

17. Jayne hates tophats!

18. I don't care how goofy they looked on the horses...It was still friggin' cool!

19. What is it Wash does on the ship again? OH! That's right...save everyone's ass!

20. Having a good day can include several of the following: Killing a cop, getting paid, shooting a horse so it lands on someone you don't like, lying to a doctor, escaping Reavers, keeping Jayne in check, seeing your first mate get her armor dented, stealing horses, punching a doctor, threatening a doctor, embarassing a Shepherd, embarassing a space hooker, getting shot, and Keeping Serenity Flying!!! Might not be much, but its enough!

Kaylee: "What's so damn important about being proper? It don't mean nothing out here in the black."
Simon: "It means more out here. It's all I have..."

HOWDYROCKERBABY1

Saturday, May 7, 2005 1:58 AM

~*If you drink sake, you will most certainly end up naked on top of a statue of Hippocrates, sure, there won't be any feds...until you start to sing that is.

~*When you become a priest, they don't cut it off

~*Having soup rubbed in your hair is a hoot, and you don't end up dying from it.

~*Only go with Jayne if it's some place with candlelight

~*Whenever you think something sounds like it's from science fiction...remember you live on a space ship

~*You can't keep track of River even when she's not incorporeally possessing a space ship.

~*Every well-bred petty crook knows...the small concealable weapons always go to the far left of the place setting.

~*If you're pretty, and Wash was unwed he would take you in a manly fashion

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Early: I only hurt people because they keep getting in the way of me finding you. Tell her.
Simon: What am I? Your advocate?
Early: You are starting now.
Simon: He's really very...gentle...and fuzzy. We're becoming fast friends.
Early: You folks are all insane.
Simon: Well, my sister's a ship. We had a complicated childhood.

KRYSTLE

Saturday, May 7, 2005 8:50 PM

River can kill you with her mind!

Never take Kaylee'a apple! (unless you like running away from her)

The Doctors always right!

The Captin likes it when you call him SIR!

thants all i can think of at the mo!

NO POWER IN THE 'VERS CAN STOP ME!

YT

Monday, May 9, 2005 12:02 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Booksword:
3)- If shepard Book had bought bannans instead of strawberries in the pilot. They would have showed the pilot first.

And not @8pm, neither.
Best of all, they might have shown it on HBO. Can HBO afford US$2Million per ep?

Keep the Shiny Side Up . . . (wutzon) Blueground Undergrass, "African Hillbilly", from "Live @Variety Playhouse"

YT

Monday, May 9, 2005 12:24 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by manwithpez:
6. While having boy-whores around might be considerate, they may not service womenfolk. They're just for the sly guys. Kinda makes you wonder what kind of cowboy town has enough gay men in it to warrant a gang of boy-whores.

Do you know what the term "cowpoke" means? Let's just say havin' boy whores is reeeeeaal considerate. Of the cows.

Keep the Shiny Side Up . . . (wutzon) Five for Fighting, "It's Not Easy", from "America Town"

KIZZIECSTARS

Thursday, May 19, 2005 4:26 PM

don't kiss an unconcious person on the lips

...also, i can kill you with my brain

COSTUMEGIRL

Friday, May 20, 2005 6:18 PM

It doesn't matter what you wear to a ball as long you know how to talk shop.

I am programmed to understand humans!

AMYGDALA

Saturday, June 11, 2005 3:54 AM

Ten things I learned from the firefly dvd commentaries:

1. If you want to get an idea for the best tv show ever,it helps to get really stoned.
2. Not blinking: apparently quite difficult.
3. Adam Baldwin brings 'big' to the party.
4. 'Essence' could well be the root word of 'essential'. And 'gun-battley" is spelt with a hyphen.
5. There's a lot to be said for the phenomenon of CGI beauty.
5. While acting in 'The Message', Jonathan Woodward was really drunk - on the cheapest red wine. In later scenes he'd actually spilled it down the front of his top.
6. Everybody loves Kaylee.
7. There's something up with that preacher.
8. If you're not completely certain of the continuity of some of the wardrobe elements, best not to bring them up in your commentary.
9. The Doc and his sister were really close.
10. It's not easy to shoot a gun and look cool at the same time.

XANDERLHARRIS

Monday, June 20, 2005 3:07 AM

I love this thread!

Ash

-----

For all information on the NC Firefly group please go here:
http://movies.groups.yahoo.com/group/fireflync/

NATNUT

Monday, August 22, 2005 8:31 AM

Hi! First post in this messageboard.

From Out Of Gas :

If you want to marry that beautiful, sexy Amazon who kills men with her pinky, just wear a Hawaiian shirt...

Oh and remember to shave off your moustache

HOBANWASHBURN

Tuesday, August 23, 2005 2:03 AM

Some people juggle geese and Wife Soup? Not easy to come by.

CKO

Sunday, September 4, 2005 5:57 PM

*falls off chair* oh my gods, those are so frakkin funny (yes i've seen way too much BSG)

watchin' firefly and then goin' to bed after leads to some very interestin dreams involvin the Captain.

being a writer can lead to your plot bunnies wanting to try your hand at writin a fic

FOX is evil for cancelin the show, but on the upside... YEY scifi is showin it.

http://www.livejournal.com/~ckojlf/

RHONIS

Wednesday, September 7, 2005 5:22 AM

Rhonis's Ten.

10. Ship's only worth what it can do and whose in charge; and Serenity's a priceless one at that.

9. Underestimatin' leads to bein' dead.

8. Listen to what ain't said, and sleep with an eye open. Two, if you've got a Jayne Cobb around.

7. Treat folk the way you want 'em to treat you, even if you've gotten shot by 'em before. And if they try and shoot'cha again, knock their horse out from under'em. Politely.

6. Not every job's worth the coin.

5. If a woman's smilin' your way for no good reason, usually ain't a good one. That's when you duck.

4. Waitin' has its place. So does runnin'. But when the wait's all gone and the wall's too close, you better have your gun.

3. Reason and faith don't always gotta be tossin' each other. Usually. Jus' not always.

2. Never tell 'em everythin' you got.

1.

MANWITHPEZ

Friday, October 7, 2005 3:12 PM

Since we've got so many new people around...I just wanted to say

BUMP BUMP BUMPITY BUMP!!!

Kaylee: "What's so damn important about being proper? It don't mean nothing out here in the black."
Simon: "It means more out here. It's all I have..."

TADPOLE37

Wednesday, October 19, 2005 3:56 AM

Apologies for any repeats.

10. Always be polite. Even when shooting nosy tourists.

9. Apologies are normally not accepted when you put someone's lackey through an engine.

8. Nothin' buys bygones better'n' cash.

7. Never be wanted for other crimes when turning in another fugitive. Things tend to end in daring escapes.

6. Don't piss off the crazy-government-created-psychic. They can kill you with their brain.

5. "'cause." is a sufficient reason that nobody would be able to find the hidden compartments.

4. Don't talk about sex on the bridge. It distracts the people who are fixing the muck-ups done by beautiful grifters.

3. Many companions are trained in the washing of feet. Some even make it their specialty.

2. The small concealable weapons always go to the left side of the place setting.

1. After winning a duel, it is acceptable to stab the loser repeatedly for amusement.

--------------------------------------------------
"Ha ha ha. Mine is an evil laugh." -- Wash

"For evil to triumph, good men must do nothing." -- some important british guy

"Thank God for Tango Romeo Echo's." -- me

TADPOLE37

Thursday, October 20, 2005 5:58 PM

bump

"Ha ha ha. Mine is an evil laugh." -- Wash

"For evil to triumph, good men must do nothing." -- some important british guy

"Thank God for Tango Romeo Echo's." -- me

SHINYGEEKET

Friday, October 28, 2005 5:58 AM

10. What the chain of command really is.
9. Prairie harpies make fantastic mechanics.
8. Reavers ain't men.
7. Wash is the funny one.
6. T-rexes can't be trusted.
5. There's an airflow to soft cotton dresses.
4. You don't fix faith, it fixes you.
3. Space monkies can really do a number on an engine room.
2. Ears can be given as a gift with purchase.
1. When you can't run, you crawl, and when you can't do that, well you know the rest.

"We will rule over all this land, and we will call it... 'This Land'."

DUCKRANGLER

Friday, December 2, 2005 4:20 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Krystle:
Never take Kaylee'a apple! (unless you like running away from her)

NO POWER IN THE 'VERS CAN STOP ME!

Something that I learned:

When Kaylee says, "No power in the 'verse' can stop me!" it's cute.

When River says, "No power in the 'verse' can stop me!" it's scary!

Mark

EASYMARK

Friday, December 2, 2005 10:16 PM

Been lurking for a few weeks, first time poster. Seemed like a fun thread to contribute to:

01. If someone as cheerful as Kaylee says "I love my captain", he's probably a decent guy.

02. The word "palaver" is pronounced pa-LAV-er. (Jane Espenson commentary)

03. Reckless ranting can hurt a good-hearted girl's feelings.

4a. 7% is a bit low to pay your crew.
4b. If your crew consists of a trigger happy mercenary, give him is own bunk.
4c. Private bunk for said mercenary can especially come handy when he sees two women folk starting to get touchy.

05. When you're about to pass out after kissing someone, your last words must be "Son of a..."

06. A man's just a boy who's old enough to ask "Am I supposed to be a 'man' now?"

07. Combining the painkiller "Alprazaline" with "Droxine" is just like administering a vasoconstrictor, but I'm going to forget that right after I type it.

08. Unless you're okay with being naked yourself, don't remind enemies that you've seen them naked.

09. Don't be so afraid of losing something as to not have it.

10. Be honest to your siblings. If you need your sister to come out because "the nice man wants to kidnap you", go ahead and voice it.

DUCKRANGLER

Friday, December 2, 2005 11:01 PM

Quote:
Prairie harpies make fantastic mechanics.

Kaylee is many things, but "harpy" ain't one of them!

Mark

MANWITHPEZ

Sunday, March 12, 2006 5:15 PM

Feel the flow...its circular, like the ball that just wants to go home. Either way, here's ten more per episode, courtesy of manwithpez, the world's most passive agressive Browncoat.

The top ten things I learned from watching "The Train Job":

1. Malcolm Reynolds = Big Baby. Inara slaps him across the face once, and he bitches about it the rest of the episode. He didn't complain this much when Niska had his ear cut off. Big baby...

2. Lurking in doorways to say boo speaks to a lack of upbringing. Further evidence that Crow is an impolite ruffian: Knife throwing and death threats.

3. Exposition in a 45 minute episode to make up for the 88 minute one the network wouldn't show? Doesn't necessarily add up to a bad episode.

4. All it takes to change a good day into a bad one is one Alliance soldier who desperately feels a need to walk into the cargo car.

5. Apparently, the only form of entertainment on planet Georgia is a parade when the medicine to treat a debilitating disease shows up on the train.

6. Let's see...Sherriff can intuit where the Captain is going to start on foot taking the medicine back? Whatever they pay that guy...it isn't enough.

7. One of the many fun games on Serenity: How's About You Shut That Crazy Mouth! From Mattel!!!

8. Should Simon not be comfortable with you in charge of the ship, the consequences can be dire...and funny!

9. Unconscious Jayne = Great Ottoman! A pilot with Wash's skills should have somewhere to put his feet up.

10. Object lessons such as shoving Crow through a moving engine work great with Niska's henchmen. Best thing for everybody, really.

See you all in the Top Ten Things I Learned From Watching Bushwhacked (coming soon!)

Kaylee: "What's so damn important about being proper? It don't mean nothing out here in the black."
Simon: "It means more out here. It's all I have..."

MANWITHPEZ

Sunday, March 12, 2006 5:40 PM

The Top Ten Things I Learned From Watching "Bushwhacked":
(And, yes, I'm aware of the irony of posting a ton of new material to a thread entitled Top Ten...its not lost on me...or is it )

1. Given some of Wash's comments about hairy women in the outtakes, did anyone else think that the title might have referred to something else?

2. Reason #1,246,731 that Firefly should not have been cancelled: The best looking cast to ever appear on TV getting sweaty in some kind of sporting event! Damn you to Hades, Fox!

3. Of all the occupations you can have 500 years in the future..."Human Space Speed Bump", not my favorite.

4. Jayne's idea of compassion and mercy in dealing with a derelict ship ie "Say a prayer as we slip on by" is kinda nice...What's that? There might be a salvage over there? Shit! We better get over there and look for survivors...People might be hurt, for God's sake!

5. So, Shepherd Book...you look pretty happy that there was a survivor and Serenity helped save him...Not so fast, Bible Boy!

6. You know...for an Alliance Cruiser to be so ruttin' big, they sure can be sneaky sometimes!

7. According to Alliance brass, a tourguide with his hands cuffed in front of him is perfectly able to defend himself. Even against Pseudo Reavers! Damn shame that armed Alliance guards can't do the same.

8. "Let's do it again!" "Maybe later" Damn, River...you just got the patented "I said maybe, but I really mean no" shutdown! Apparently, it applies to spacewalks too.

9. Where do I get my "I ate an entire Alliance Soldier, and all I got was this lousy T-shirt and a face full of metal" T-Shirt?

10. Alright, all you geeks out there...Who got hot when Kaylee was doing her "Gurstlers...crammed" technobabble speech? Yeah...okay...I was the only one...riiiiight...

See you all for Shindig! Coming sooner, rather than later...I hope...

Kaylee: "What's so damn important about being proper? It don't mean nothing out here in the black."
Simon: "It means more out here. It's all I have..."

DUCKRANGLER

Sunday, March 12, 2006 6:54 PM

10. Alright, all you geeks out there...Who got hot when Kaylee was doing her "Gurstlers...crammed" technobabble speech? Yeah...okay...I was the only one...riiiiight...

I did! And you'll find out who else in "Shindig!"

Mark

MANWITHPEZ

Monday, March 13, 2006 3:04 AM

The Next Top Ten Things I Learned From Watching "Shindig":

1. Interrogating a buffet table that looks like a Persephonean Lord might make you sick.

2. A Dozen slaves a dozen days and the space of a school boy's wink? Daaaaamn...That old guy just housed that beyotch! You go, old guy! Show that chick that it doesn't pay to mess with the mechanic.

3. Good time management is important. I wonder if Atherton went on and got that haircut after the duel?

4. Just because you're carrying something heavy...No excuse to say something mean. All the women will just dislike you for that.

5. Sit down vs. Piss off? Hmmmm...I'm going to have to go with the latter.

6. There has to be a better way of saying "I'm sorry that I didn't go through with our prior deal" than serving wood alcohol to your guests. There just has to be.

7. Stuck for a vocabulary word...I don't know...something like...say "Pretentious". Then I'd like to introduce Jayne: The See n Say of the mercenary set!

8. Line dancing is still around 500 years in the future? Damn it!

9. I say whore...no problem. You say whore, and I'm going to clean your clock. And, those are the only rules I'm sticking with!

10. Turns out, I'm just an alright man. Now, go and get yourself stitched up! Courtesy of a merciful alright man!

More to come!

Kaylee: "What's so damn important about being proper? It don't mean nothing out here in the black."
Simon: "It means more out here. It's all I have..."

MANWITHPEZ

Monday, March 13, 2006 7:04 PM

The Next Top Ten Things I Learned From Watching "Safe":

1. Interfere in the captain's business, and horrible, horrible things are going to happen. Simon smarts off about cunningly concealed cows, Book just HAS to offer his opinion, and neither of them fared too well, as I recall.

2. Best shot in the land? Jayne you say? I beg to differ...Just how far away was Zoe when the shooting started?

3. Jiangyin Prairie Paradise? Seems like a perfectably serviceable gift to me. Sometimes we should pause before we speak...right Simon?

4. Almost everytime Mal listens to what Inara has to say, it leads to trouble in some form. Here, they end up on an Alliance cruiser...Maybe she should just sit down and be pretty. Or not. Either way works for me.

5. Sure Simon stuck his foot in his mouth with Kaylee...Again...So what? Inara can't provide some wingman action. She could see he was trying to play pretty. Vindictive, vindictive Kaylee...tsk

6. Captain Harbotken? 500 years in the future, and the making of aliases still doesn't seem to be coming along...What's wrong with Captain Ben Dover?

7. Let's see...Shepherd Book has an ID Card that gets him free health care, no questions asked. I knew he was Canadian!

8. I love my siblings. Very much. Not so much that I'm going to end ManWithPez-Kabob, though.

9. It's very easy to punctuate your statements to make them more important when you're skinning a rabbit.

10. I have two children. If one of them comes to me and says that the other one is in trouble after going away to school two years prior...I'm going to look into it. Not curse at my son for causing trouble. What the hell is up with Gabriel Tam, anyways?

See you for more, later...

Kaylee: "What's so damn important about being proper? It don't mean nothing out here in the black."
Simon: "It means more out here. It's all I have..."

GRIZWALD

Monday, March 13, 2006 7:19 PM

What a wonderful, old (but timeless) thread.

My favorite of all those posted above:

Quote:
Wash and Zoe are very private people. Except for Wash.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

They couldn't take the sky from them.
Our Big Damn Heroes made a film!

... C'mon Universal, and greenlight a sequel...

JOCKOCKEYOCK

Monday, March 13, 2006 7:44 PM

1.never trust people that misteriusly apear on your spaceship when your already in space might they claim to be your wife named Saphron or a random deff bounty hunter named Early
2. never mess with Simon or some how River will kill you or trick you into being kicked by Mal into space where you will die of suffication or cold
3. Never Talk to a Doctor expecting a normal response
4. Crazy people arent Crazy just unique or gifted
5. Boxes with suposably dead people in them are a comfortable place to take a nap
6. Know how to sword fight before you chalenge someone to a sword fight
7.Nathan Fillion looks good in a Dress/kilt
8. how to eat a strawberry the right way
9. Reavers have a philosaphy
10. If someone tells you not to bring granades bring the damn granades (serenity)

The court of this obsession, is abstracted from possession which when the worlds of outside in fall.

DRPAIN

Monday, March 13, 2006 7:48 PM

These have probably been posted before but I don't care. In no particular order.

1. 7% is not standard

2. 10% is. Plus you get your own room and full run of the kitchen.

3. Juggling geese can be fun.

4. Don't mess with an old gangster with an eastern european accent, who has a torture fetish.

5. Always send money to your mother so she can knit you a cunning hat.

6. It's illegal to ship a dead body via the postal service. You should try Fed-Ex instead.

7. If you see a sign saying "Good Dogs" and cages full of dogs, you best keep walking.

8. If the whore house looks like a frozen dinner pack, then you'd better hope the whores look a whole lot better.

9. Any food that's tied to a stick with string will most likely be problematic.

10. Never get in a fight at an Alliance friendly bar on U-Day, it never goes well.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WWJD: What Would Jayne Do?

FWBBROWNCOAT

Monday, March 13, 2006 7:50 PM

Well this is one that I'm just gonna have to join in on:

1. Doesn't matter if you're on the winning side, save you were on the right side.

2. Even the littlest part can cause the biggest disaster.

3. ALWAYS know who you're kissing.

4. Uppance will come to those who talk in the theater.

5. The chain of command does exist, and Jayne would much like to use it.

I'm sure I could think of more, but, unfortunately, I have an awards ceremony to attend.

"Come a day there won't be room for naughty men like us to slip about at all." - Malcolm Reynolds

EARLYSUMMER

Tuesday, March 14, 2006 3:11 AM

Ten things I learned from watching Firefly:

1) Don't wear a blue sun shirt in the kitchen, there are too many knives around.

2) Learn to use a sword before you decide to punch someone at the ball.

3) Don't call someone who just got out of a cage, sir, you tend to get beat up for that.

4) Midgets can be by far the most troublesome cargo, and they like fire.

5) Governments are meant to get in a man's way.

6) Beware of a girl with a gun who has her eyes closed.

7) When someone says "fire", it's not the birthday candles you need to worry about.

8) When hiring mercs, make sure they have their own room, unless you want to get shot in the leg.

9) That's no shephard.

10)Those who do the impossible are mighty.

Thanks to all who never stopped fighting, I love my BDM.

GUYWHOWANTSAFIREFLYOFHISOWN

Tuesday, July 4, 2006 7:54 PM

a random bump, for a random reason

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/llama.php
-try it out, I dare you

98% of teens have smoked pot, if you are one of the 2% that haven't, copy this into your signature

I'm so into Firefly, my butt glows in the dark.

EXODUS

Tuesday, July 4, 2006 11:38 PM

I can't think of many but here goes nothing...

1) Missionaries can secretly be trained fighters.
2) You do not want to 'do' your best friend's sister.
3) People who play with toys can get some.
4) Waking up to check up on your guns in the middle of the night is alright.
5) Leaves can soar into space.
6) In the future, a girl who seems innocent is one who knows how to fix spaceship engines better than you.
7) It is alright to get stuck in a valley and live there.
8) Eastern Europeans in the future are still crazy.
9) If you think al-Qaeda is cruel, wait until you meet Reavers.
10) Partially transparent latex gloves have been replaced with blue latex gloves in the future.

I told you they would suck...

GUYWHOWANTSAFIREFLYOFHISOWN

Monday, July 10, 2006 4:27 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by manwithpez:

2. Come on...admit it. When Serenity docked with that ship, I wasn't the only staring at the screen when those tentacles came out, thinking "What the hell...?"

no, you weren't

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/llama.php
-try it out, I dare you

98% of teens have smoked pot, if you are one of the 2% that haven't, copy this into your signature

I'm so into Firefly, my butt glows in the dark.

GUYWHOWANTSAFIREFLYOFHISOWN

Wednesday, July 26, 2006 8:37 AM

*Chases llamas through thread*

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/llama.php
-try it out, I dare you

98% of teens have smoked pot, if you are one of the 2% that haven't, copy this into your signature

I'm so into Firefly, my butt glows in the dark.

ESTHER

Thursday, July 27, 2006 12:54 PM

I think, Firefly really was a highly educational program (almost as much, as Sesamestreet), so this is what I learned from it:

1. Offering to kill somebody might not work as well as an incentive, as one might think. (point of interest).
2. When being tortured, dying might seem the thing to do. (might not help an awful lot, though)
3. No-one pays you to get your hair plaid at (which is a real shame!)
4. If you pay your workers near to nothing, you can pass on the savings to your customers (now wait - seems, my boss is a browncoat after all!)
5. Meditating beats just sittin'. (well… it is just sitting!)
6. Everyone has the right to live and try to kill people (… I mean… you know… dumb planet!)
7. Sonic rifles are just Shee-niou high tech crap, when it comes to open a door with them. (still wish I had one, though)
8. You might not get a neural reaction from a patient, even if you apply the cortical electrodes. (now can I be a doctor?)
9. If you are been given the shortest end of a stick ever offered a human soul in this crap-heel 'verse... well... take it! (at least, that's something!)
10. Everybody dies alone. (especially FOX Execs!)
HELP I CAN'T STOP!!!
11. A ruthless bounty-hunter can still be a philosopher (That seem right to you?)
12. If you're floating in space all alone, your chances are one in about... a very big number. (well… here I am)
13. You never know, who is in a pregnant woman. (Sometimes it's Jonah, though)
14. Even a leaf in the wind can be speared. (sob!)
15. The reg couple don't really serve much of a purpose. Just tends to gum up the works when it gets tacked. Better to just plug your g-line straight into the port-pin-lock (I have to go and see, whether I have one of these in my car …)
16. One of the virtues of not being puritanical about sex is not being embarrassed afterwards. (buuuhuuuuhuuuuuuuu!)
17. Space trash kinda latches onto the first big somethin' stops long enough. (Hey -- now that'd be a bit like Simon and his sister, wouldn't it?)
18. Transport ships have no guns (might come in handy, if you ever plan to attack one!)
19. Companions don't kiss and tell (but there is kissin'!)
20. There are witches in congress. (and also a beast, it seems)
21. In some situations, being proper might be everything that is left. (Now this is really one to take home!)
22. If you have done well, you'll get wife-soup (if you have the right wife!).
23. If you start an autopsy, make sure, the person is dead! (or at least has some cloth on…)
24. Rubbing soup in your hair is always a hoot (and get's no-one killed).
25. Geese juggling is very relaxing (you really should try it!)
26. If the snow on the roof is too heavy, the ceiling will cave in (and your brains are in terrible danger!)
27. We are all lost in the woods (but then again, it's the only place, where one can see a clear path.)
28. "Mal" means "bad" in the Latin (oh, and did you know, that "Zoe" means "Life" in Greek? And that "Simon" means "God has listened" in Hebrew? And that "River" means "big stream" in English? - Oh, never mind!)
29. People tend to look bigger, when you can't see them.
30. And finally: there's a lot to learn about planning:
• If you end up naked in a desert, doesn't necessarily mean, that your plan went wrong.
• If your son finally became a man, doesn't necessarily mean, that your plan went right.
• But if your plan went wrong (and you e.g. did loose her), be gracious.

Whow, now I'm educated!
Esther

MAZAEN

Sunday, September 24, 2006 8:16 AM

I learned from Firefy that if Captain Mal and crew are stealing from people shooting people or participating in a punch-up in a bar that that they aren't bad as it first may seem.

DJIRONMAN

Friday, January 5, 2007 9:26 AM

1. Avoid going to the "Special Hell."

2. Some food could be problematic.

3. How to be the hero of my own crappy town.

4. Speaking Mandarin Chinese in the place of bad words gets rid of that annoying beep.

5. The Alliance "don't like it when you shoot at them."

6. Never wear a Blue Sun T-Shirt.

7. When trying to find the friend that spent a few years in government custody, try looking up.

8. Don't kiss 'em on the lips.

9. Next time a friend comes up to you that needs to tell you he wants to be taken seriously, just walk away.

10. When testing a pair off transmitters, it's most affective being tested more that 10 feet apart.

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