Busted Gut : Favorite Funny Scenes/Lines

POSTED BY: serrada
UPDATED: Thursday, September 8, 2016 04:12
VIEWED: 52792
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SERRADA

Sunday, January 8, 2006 6:11 PM

I love it in Jaynestown when River is hiding after seeing Shepherd's hair all hanging out,and Zoe is trying to get her out and says "He's putting the hair away now." River replies:It doesn't matter it'll still be there....WAITING!!!!I literally almost pissed my pants.

JADEHAND

Sunday, January 8, 2006 6:49 PM

Mal: "I knew you let her kiss you."

BLUEISHBROWNCOAT

Sunday, January 8, 2006 10:02 PM

Oh so many! thats one of my faveorite parts of Firefly, the comedy and oneliners :)

What comes to mind right now:

War Stories: The end when Mal tell Zoe that Wash thinks they should have sex....Take sir. take me hard. and then their faces as they go in awkwardly to kiss. LOVE IT!

Also, the scene in Jaynestown where they're all looking at the statue. Mals comment about staying and admiring it for a min and Simon's comments about going crazy. :)

-----------------------------------------
Hoplessly addicted but in that good sort of way. :)

"When the stars shine bright through the engine's trail and the dust of another world drops behind,
when my ship is free of the open sky its a damn good day to my way of mind." - Michelle Dockrey

SCAD/Savannah,GA Browncoat

MICK91

Sunday, January 8, 2006 10:27 PM

Book: "If you take sexual advantage of her, you're going to burn in a very special level of hell. A level they reserve for child molesters and people who talk at the theater."

SINGATE

Monday, January 9, 2006 1:06 AM

The look on Wash and Simon's faces when "The Hero of Canton" is being played in "Jaynestown". It kills me everytime.

MISSMADRASSA

Monday, January 9, 2006 1:19 AM

Paraphrasing Mal to Jayne: I see the days of my disrespecting you are coming to a middle.

And

The mind-blown look on Mal's face imagining Inara and Saffron getting it on in OMR.

In fact, the whole of Our Mrs. Reynolds had me in stiches.

MER

Monday, January 9, 2006 1:51 AM

I would have to say, Jaynestown. Just face it, I love the Jsyne.
I want to pick the Message Roundabout message listening from the gag reel, but I don't think it would count.

OMELET

Monday, January 9, 2006 1:56 AM

In the outakes on the Serenity dvd when Nathan says to Zoe something like this:

Zoe, string four of five of them together and put them across the front. Put Book front and center, he was our friend, it's an honor. Kaylee, find the kid who's takin' a dirt nap with baby Jesus. We need a hood ornament. Jayne, don't steal too much of their shit.

Well, I think that's how it went. I probably got it wrong, but it's close to that. I couldn't stop laughing after that.

Jayne: Are you saying River's a witch?
Wash: Yes, Jayne, she's a witch. She's had congress with the Beast.
Jayne: She's in Congress?
Wash: How did your brain even learn human speech? I'm just so curious!

THESOAPBOXER

Monday, January 9, 2006 1:58 AM

Hands down, Mal's line in "Trash" when talking to Inara.

(Re: the "wobbly-headed dolls")
Mal: Hey, people love those!

Nathan delivers the line with utter indignation that makes me guffaw every single time I watch it.

Runners-up:
-"Objects in Space"-
Jubal Early: Well, that's somewhat unsettling.
-"Out of Gas"-
(Didn't necessarily make me laugh out loud, considering the scene, but still one of my favorite lines)
Wash: Well, maybe I should do that, then!

Wuo DWAY-nee BOO-woon, boo-JEN...

CHRISTHECYNIC

Monday, January 9, 2006 2:02 AM

For me it will always be the scene leading up to, "Did he just go crazy and fall asleep?"

At one point I was doing something else and I noticed that that scene was running in the background, muted, it was still hilarious.

BLUEISHBROWNCOAT

Monday, January 9, 2006 6:29 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by MER:

I want to pick the Message Roundabout message listening from the gag reel, but I don't think it would count.

AHAHAHA!! I love that outatke! its so funny! The music that plays once he starts to move around is great...
I love the firefly gag reel (the full 13 mins one)...now if there was any way to get the full serenity one :)

-----------------------------------------
Hoplessly addicted but in that good sort of way. :)

"When the stars shine bright through the engine's trail and the dust of another world drops behind,
when my ship is free of the open sky its a damn good day to my way of mind." - Michelle Dockrey

SCAD/Savannah,GA Browncoat

LANDODAPIMP

Monday, January 9, 2006 2:22 PM

I laughed so hard when I watched the message yesterday when Jayne said

"What'd y'all order a dead guy for?"

--
http://www.millionaireplayboy.com

DARKLIGHTER9

Monday, January 9, 2006 2:28 PM

Gotta b Simon in OIS "my siter is a space ship, we had a difficult relationship growing up" or Mal to Simon "im cranky, confused and in possesion of a firearm so I suggest you speak plainly" that last one is my msn tag at the mo

________________________________________________
"its clear that the only way around this is to stick my fingers in my ears, close my eyes and sing the firefly theme very loudly" a friend of mine talking about a cirtain scene in the BDM

TEETHGRINDER

Monday, January 9, 2006 2:42 PM

" We applied the cortical electrodes but couldn't get a neural response from either patient" - Jayne

Need I say more....

SERRADA

Monday, January 9, 2006 3:08 PM

The look on Jayne's face and in his Eyes after River says: "Also,I can Kill you with my brain."
He goes from doubt to sheer terror in an instant
with barely any noticable movement.Funny and Brilliant!

MER

Monday, January 9, 2006 3:53 PM

*sighs* gotta love that Jayne.

I dunno if there's a full one, but from the behind the scenes special on Serenity it has some that's not on th DVD...I can't remember what besides Nathan and Gina dancing nor where I found the site that had the screencaps from that special.
I guess I'll have to rewatch that special.

J6NGO1977

Monday, January 9, 2006 4:50 PM

One of the scenes that makes me laugh out loud is Badgers comment in Shindig *Same as my Avatar* 'course, you couldn't buy an invite with a diamond the size of a testicle, but I got my hands on a couple'. Mal and Jayne are fighting to keep a straight face. Hiiilarious

PSOLARIS

Monday, January 9, 2006 4:52 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Mick91:
Book: "If you take sexual advantage of her, you're going to burn in a very special level of hell. A level they reserve for child molesters and people who talk at the theater."

Darnnit Mick, you beat me to it.

See my tagline above!

Psolaris

"Ten percent of nuthin' is...let me do the math here...nuthin' into nuthin'...carry the nuthin'"

JAYRO

Monday, January 9, 2006 6:51 PM

"I'll be in my bunk." - Jayne Cobb

------------------------

"You can't take the sky from me."

WASTEGATE13

Monday, January 9, 2006 7:00 PM

Mine's from the BDM.

"I swallowed a bug."

Just the way she says it and the look of childlike innocence on her face makes me crack up everytime.

WARNING: Thread Hijack in progress!!

Off Topic: BlueishBrowncoat, I see you go to SCAD, one of my good friends goes there as well and my sister will be attending starting next year. Semi-small world huh?

"Jayne's a girl's name."

MTNSCOTT

Monday, January 9, 2006 7:02 PM

See tagline

Only the half mad are wholly alive!
E.A.

ADMIRALJEDI

Monday, January 9, 2006 7:48 PM

From Serenity (the pilot) [I think??]

ZOE (slightly paraphrased for lack of remembrance)

"Great. Now we have passengers wandering all around our... stolen.. cargo."

MAL: "Ain't no way they're gonna find that compartment."

ZOE: "Why not?"

(funniest favorite)
MAL: "...... ... cuz .. ? .... ?"

Oh my gosh. Nathan Fillion deserves an award for that ONE word. I have LITERALLY practiced in the mirror to pull off that line as good as he did and there's no way. I die laughing at that part EVERY time.

BLUEISHBROWNCOAT

Monday, January 9, 2006 11:41 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Wastegate13:

WARNING: Thread Hijack in progress!!

Off Topic: BlueishBrowncoat, I see you go to SCAD, one of my good friends goes there as well and my sister will be attending starting next year. Semi-small world huh?

Continueing with the Hijacking!

Coolbeans. It is a small world. It get smaller and smaller everday. :) Your friend/sister a browncoat? Ive discovered a small group on campus. YAY Facebook!

NOW BACK TO THE REGULAR THREAD.

-----------------------------------------
Hoplessly addicted but in that good sort of way. :)

"When the stars shine bright through the engine's trail and the dust of another world drops behind,
when my ship is free of the open sky its a damn good day to my way of mind." - Michelle Dockrey

SCAD/Savannah,GA Browncoat

WASTEGATE13

Tuesday, January 10, 2006 3:21 AM

Oh my sister is, I don't think nearly as big as I but she loves the show. She was the one who introduced me to it after seeing Serenity and loving it.

"Jayne's a girl's name."

BLUEISHBROWNCOAT

Tuesday, January 10, 2006 8:36 AM

Funny moment:

The begining of "Our Mrs. Reynolds"...Jayne to Mal: "Well, if I could make you prettier I would!

-----------------------------------------
Hoplessly addicted but in that good sort of way. :)

"When the stars shine bright through the engine's trail and the dust of another world drops behind,
when my ship is free of the open sky its a damn good day to my way of mind." - Michelle Dockrey

SCAD/Savannah,GA Browncoat

GUERRA

Tuesday, January 10, 2006 3:55 PM

My favorite scenes:

2nd episode, Mal explains that he doesn't want any issues and gives the money back to Niska's second hand man. The guy says he'll hunt him down and such, Mal just kicks him right into the engine and then explains it to the next henchman in line.

1st episode: Mal tells Simon that Kaylee is dead, Simon runs to see if shes okay, she waves at him, he says something about the Captain being a lunatic then it goes to a clip of the crew laughing their asses off.

Shindig: At the end of the duel, where hes talking about being compassionate, and then gives the guy a few extra stabs for comedy's sake.

Variety of great lines I've forgotten or people have mentioned previously, if you'd like to add the exact quotes to the scenes above, go for it :)

Hazzah for Firefly!

(by the way, I'm thinking about working on a Firefly-esque sci fi game, anyone interested IM me)

TAKENBAXTER

Wednesday, January 11, 2006 1:42 PM

Kaylee:"Wash do you think I'm pretty?"
Wash:"If I were unwed, I'd take you in a manly fashion."
Kaylee:"Cuz I'm pretty?"
Wash:"Cuz you're pretty..."
Me and my friend peed ourselves...it was fabulous

JAYRO

Wednesday, January 11, 2006 1:55 PM

OMG, I just remembered River's line in the birthing room, from Heart Of Gold.

"Who do you think is in there?"

Chuckle city.

--------------------------

"Shoot 'em... politely." - Malcolm Reynolds

XENOPROBE

Wednesday, January 11, 2006 5:24 PM

Jayne: Smells like crotch
Kaylee: Jayne!
Jayne: Well it does.

Wash: We don't even have to do anything
fancy. We'll just go to a park or
something, feed the pigeons.
Zoe: Sure. We'll feed the pigeons...
probably get the firing squad for
littering.

Mal: Pupils were fixed and dilapidated --
Simon: Dilated.
Mal: Ching-wah TSAO duh liou mahng. Shiny.

That last one near killed me! The way he tacks on 'shiny' on the tail end of his curse... Oh, and the entire River/Book bit about Book's hair... Hi-larious!

~*~*~*~*~*~

Ching-wah TSAO duh liou mahng. Shiny.

TAKENBAXTER

Wednesday, January 11, 2006 7:48 PM

One of my favorites is in Heart of Gold when Kaylee says " they have boy whores too. Isn' that thoughtful? I wonder if they service women folk at all?" Then Wash goes "let's not ask them."

Oh and this might not be the right kind of funny moment but on the commentary for The Message Alan Tudyk is describing the way Tracey is acting/talking and he goes something along the lines of "this kid is wasted and like on the cheapest wine."
I don't know why but that always makes me get the giggles really bad.

COPILOTLEONARD

Thursday, January 12, 2006 2:57 AM

I love just about any line Wash says, but in Jaynestown I couldn't stop laughing. Everyone had a great live. Wash's face when he was drunk and laughing at Mal and Zoe. Book's hair and River's reaction to it. And of course that great song about Jayne.

"I'm going down too quick. Likely crash and kill us all"

TAKENBAXTER

Thursday, January 12, 2006 6:42 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by CoPilotLeonard:
I love just about any line Wash says, but in Jaynestown I couldn't stop laughing. Everyone had a great live. Wash's face when he was drunk and laughing at Mal and Zoe. Book's hair and River's reaction to it. And of course that great song about Jayne.

"I'm going down too quick. Likely crash and kill us all"

That Wash moment was like.....THE BEST!

OIAMSLAIN

Friday, January 13, 2006 10:14 AM

“I think I really made a difference in their lives. Me, Jayne Cobb!”
“I know your name, jackass.”

KPO

Sunday, January 15, 2006 1:37 AM

Ok I got another one, not exactly a gut-buster, but one that always makes me smile whenever i think of it. Something bout it tickles me.

It's one of Mal's retorts in his very first conversation with Inara:

Inara - "Nor will I under any circumstances be servicing you or anyone else under your employ."
Mal - "I'll post a sign."

Just tickles me.

PAYNE

Sunday, January 15, 2006 1:57 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by oiamslain:
“I think I really made a difference in their lives. Me, Jayne Cobb!”
“I know your name, jackass.”

Ah, but the preceding line is also gold:

Jayne: "I don't know Mal, you think we should be using my fame to hoodwink people?"
Mal: "You better laugh when you say that."

I've been searching in vain for an opportunity to use that line in real life.

NUCLEARDAY

Friday, January 20, 2006 2:19 PM

I have to say every single flashback scene in "Out of Gas" goes somewhere at the top of my list.

Also, what really cracked me up: near the end of the "Serenity" episode. The fed is holding River hostage and the reavers are on their way. The way that Mal just shows up and shoots him out of hand without even breaking stride is another classic.

ASIDE: Saw the SCAD comments out there and had to give a shout-out. Graduated from there about four years ago. Say hi to pigeon-man and mr.sign for me, BlusihBrowncoat!

_________________________________________________
Browncoats never die, they just get cancelled.

DRAGONFEAR987

Tuesday, January 31, 2006 10:41 PM

i must say, one of the things that got me hooked on this show were the damn quotes.

Mal: This is your captain. were experiencing some slight turbulence...and then might explode.
Jayne: were gonna explode? i dun wanna explode!

or

Zoe: are those grenades?
jayne: yea capn dun want em.

or

simon: its ok to leave them to die.
mal:docot r im taking ur sister under my protection here. if nething happens to her i promise ill get very choked up. honestly..there mite even be tears.

or
mal:listen up were coming down to empty that vault.
Man: you have to give me hte authorization password.
::jayne shoots::
Man: ok!

or

Wash: im a leaf on the wind..watch how i soar.

so many good ones, cant narrow it down at all

CANDLELIGHT

Wednesday, February 1, 2006 12:05 AM

copilotleonard is right. Just about anything Wash says is funny. I also love it when in "The Train Job" Jayne says: "Do you know what the chain of command is? It's the chain I go get and beat you with till you know who's in ruttin' command here!" Then later, after he's succumbed to being sedated and he's lying in a heap on one of the gangways. Mal comes in, gives him a puzzled look, and Kaylee says: "We tried to get him to the infirmary; he's just.....heavy"

GUTTERBALL

Wednesday, February 1, 2006 1:01 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by oiamslain:
“I think I really made a difference in their lives. Me, Jayne Cobb!”
“I know your name, jackass.”

Oh, man, I just about DIED laughing at that one!

How 'bout:

Mal: I gotta know how close the Alliance is, exactly how much you told them before Wash scrambled your call. So...I've given Jayne here the job of findin' out.
Jayne: *pulls big-ass knife* He was nonspecific as to how.
Mal: *whispers* You only gotta scare him.
Jayne: *wide-eyed sincere* Pain is scary.

Mal: Jayne, how many guns are you takin'? You only got the two arms.
Jayne: Well, I just get excitable as to choice. Like to have my options open.
Mal: No grenades!
Jayne: Huh? Awww!

Zoe: How much ammo we got left?
Jayne: Three full mags and my swingin' cod!

Jayne: You can't change that...by gettin' all...bendy. Got the...the light...from the console...to...lift you up...oh, shiny...angels....*faceplants on the floor*
Wash: *waits a beat* Did he just go crazy and fall asleep?

Niska: Have you ever read the works of Xian Yu?
Mal: *in extreme pain from torture* You starting a book club? What, are you trying to torture me?

God, I love this series....

________________________________________

Please remember that the 9:30 show is completely different from the 7:30 show. Don't forget to tip your waitress.

CAPTAINSGAL

Wednesday, February 1, 2006 2:01 AM

in Our Mrs. Reynolds, Shepard verifies that Mal is actually married to Saffron.

Mal, in total disbelief, walks up to Jayne and says
"How drunk was I last night?"

and Jayne grunts back "Well I don't know, I passed out."

also, another Our Mrs. Reynolds moment:

"You got a wife? All I got was that dumb-ass stick sounds like it's raining. How come you get a wife?"

and

"Someone ever tries to kill you, you try to kill him right back"

NANDIFAN

Wednesday, February 1, 2006 2:25 AM

I am going to have to go with Wash in "The Message"

Talking to the alien/cow fetus:
"Do not fear me...ours is a peaceful race and we must live in harmony."

Funniest thing ever!

Also, in same show, when Simon and Kaylee are along and he says that she is pretty much the only girl in the world because everyone else he knows is married, professional, or closely related! And then Zoe comes in and Simon says he isn't very good at taling to girls, and Zoe says:

"Why, is there someone you are good at talking to?"

Then later in the scene, River calles Simon a boob for what he said to Kaylee.

I mean, that is just good TV!

"If they've got guns or brains at all."
"They've got guns."

BLUEHARVEST77

Wednesday, February 1, 2006 3:08 AM

I just want to break in with this Link for the Sci Fi channel. If you have any suggestions for programing (specifically a second Firefly season) this is where you write. Don't just use the link, pass it on to any place you think we might get support. feedback@scifi.com

ENGINEANGEL

Wednesday, February 1, 2006 10:53 PM

oh man, how to choose? i'm gonna have to think on this one

TAMSIBLING

Wednesday, February 1, 2006 11:17 PM

The entire episode of "Our Mrs. Reynolds" makes we me laugh out loud, no matter how many times I watch it. Everything from when he opens the crate to the very end is just hilarious.

Some of my other favorites are below:
MAL: You're very lacking in imagination.
ZOE: Imagine that's so, sir.

MAL: Well, you were right about this being a bad idea.
ZOE: Thanks for saying so, sir.

MAL: Did you get word to Patience?
WASH: Yeah, she'll be waiting for us. Didn't she try to shoot you once?
MAL: Everybody's making a fuss.

MAL: Define interesting.
WASH: Oh God, oh God, we're all gonna die?

SIMON: Could you not do that while we're - ever?
SIMON: I'm trying to think of a way you could be cruder, but nothing's coming to me.

MAL: (gesturing to River-in-a-box) Oh, is this one for you? You two look - Ah!

It's the wit and humor of Joss Whedon that first hooked me on Buffy, Angel, Firefly and Serenity.

Joss is GENIUS!!!

This must be what going insane feels like.

SIHNON

Thursday, February 2, 2006 1:08 AM

I have a few. One of them's the one on my signature, from the deleted scene Inara and Sheydra.
Inara: "Captain Reynolds never touched me, all he ever did was rent me a shuttle and be very, very annoying...(something possibly insulting in Chinese)"
Hi-larious, I giggle madly every time...

From, uhm, Ariel, I think it was, when Jayne spits on the knife or something, making this really nasty noise...
Simon: "Could you not do that while we're like...ever?"

Our Mrs. Reynolds, when Inara hastily explains why she fell even though no one gives a damn...
Zoe: "...and Inara found you here."
Inara: "And then my head got hurt, like Wash."
Mal: "I don't get this."
Inara: "I only fell, is all!"

Then a few moments later, when Simon goes to examine her...
Inara: "No no no, I don't need to be examined...I'm comfy..."

The Message, when Wash is poking fun at Simon after Kaylee yelling at Simon in the cow fetus scene. Is that a sentence?
Wash: "Oh my GOD it's GROTESQUE! Oh, and there's something in a jar."

In the BDM, when Mal goes to rescue Inara...
Operative: "Captain Reynolds, you should know, so you don't waste your time, you cannot anger me."
Inara: "Please, spend an hour with him."

Same scene...
Mal: "Thought an Albatross was a ship's good luck, 'til some idiot killed it. Yes, I've read a poem, try not to faint."

--------
Captain Reynolds never touched me, all he did was rent me a shuttle and be very, very annoying!

MILFORD

Thursday, February 2, 2006 1:24 AM

All of you are sorely mistaken. The funniest scene in the whole series and film combined is the first act of comedy in the whole thing. How could all of you forget:

Mail: Kaylee's dead.
(Simon running frantically to the infirmary with no sound, only emotional music only to find Kaylee up and fine)
(Cut to the bridge of Serenity abruptly)
Everyone: HA HA HA HA!

That was one of the funniest things I have ever seen in the history of my TV viewing. That is clearly the best funny of the whole deal.

Of course, this is followed closely by Wash's encounter with the alien cow fetus. That gets me too.

Remember, that but for one trifling exception, the entire universe is made up of others.- Oliver Wendall Holmes

HAPPYWLAD

Saturday, February 4, 2006 6:26 PM

Mal: No I don't! No I don't!

The only thing that matters is how well you walk through the fire.
C.B.

JOELIST

Saturday, February 4, 2006 6:41 PM

Nobody mentioned Wash playing with his plastic dinosaurs in the opening of Serenity?

JAYRO

Saturday, February 4, 2006 6:49 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by HappyWlad:
Mal: No I don't! No I don't!

Ah, 'War Stories', my favourite ep.

Also from same - Wash talking tough whilst tooling up, then brandishing the pansiest little purse gun ever.

And Mal and Wash arguing over Zoe whilst being tortured...
Wash: "Screw you!"
Mal: "Get in line."

---------------------

"We need a hood ornament."

GUTTERBALL

Sunday, February 5, 2006 4:34 AM

Wash: Hey, I've been in a fire fight!

Mal: *disbelieving look*

Wash: Well...I was in a fire.

Mal: *rolls eyes*

Wash: Actually...I was fired...from a fry cook opportunity.

________________________________________

Please remember that the 9:30 show is completely different from the 7:30 show. Don't forget to tip your waitress.

CAPERCAILLIE

Monday, February 6, 2006 1:40 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by oiamslain:
“I think I really made a difference in their lives. Me, Jayne Cobb!”
“I know your name, jackass.”

Just reading that cracks me up all over again.

The "Kaylee's dead" does it for me everytime.

But my favorite is Mal's "A swhat?" in Shindig.

KITCH

Monday, February 6, 2006 6:40 AM

My virgin voyage, be gentle. HUGE FAN!!!! One of my favorites (there are sooooo many) is in "Our Mrs. Reynolds, when Mal asks Jayne "How much he drank last night?" and Jayne says " I don't know, I passed out". The look on Mal's face is priceless!!! BDH.......

BOOKADDICT

Monday, February 6, 2006 11:35 AM

Jayne in "The train job" I was aiming for his head.
Gets me every time!

LEIASKY

Monday, February 6, 2006 8:29 PM

I have a long list of things that make me laugh...

At the top would HAVE to be Jaynetown. That whole episode was just filled with hilarious lines.

"Too - much - hair"
"Its that all?"
"Hell yes preacher if I didn't have things to do I'd be in there with her."
"He's putting - away - the hair now"

"I swear, when its appropriate."
Jayne tearing up infirmary.
"Now see, this'd be the perfect time
for a swear-word."

"My God, you're like a trained ape!
Without the training"
Dripping with sarcasm. "Enemies? You? No! How can it be? "

"They say the snow on the roof is too
heavy--they say the ceiling will cave
in--his brains are in terrible
danger-- "

And that's just one episode! hee

Tammy

"A government is a body of people usually notably ungoverned."

CAPELLA

Monday, February 6, 2006 8:40 PM

There are so many great funny moments in the series. When I did the screensaver and collected the soundbites just from the Serenity-ep, I could not stop myself from cutting out more and more lines, because they are just so humorous.

I am very fond of Wash. So maybe my two favourite funny lines are both by him.

In Serenity when he plays with his dinos:
"We will rule over all this land and we will call it ... this land."

In The Message, when he talks to the fake alien cow fetus: "Do not fear us, our's is a peaceful race"

I also just love it when the crew bickers Mal in Serenity, because he wants to do business with Patience even though she shot him once and he says: "Everybody is making a fuss" with this very funny-confused undertone in his voice.

Have fun,
Capella

13

Monday, February 6, 2006 9:29 PM

The entire episode of Jaynestown, Mal stabbing Atherton while he's down, Kraal the henchman getting kicked through the engine. My favorite bit of all time, ever, had to be anything with RIver. THe funniest moment on FIrefly was the Geisha doll bit. I piss myself every time.

I think a little chaos is in order.

NAIJALOLA

Tuesday, February 7, 2006 10:38 AM

My Top 3

I'm surprised this hasn't been posted: I swear by my pretty floral bonnet, I'll end you.

Also: No, this is what going crazy must feel like.

And:
Jayne: Wanna go little man?
Wash: Only someplace with candle light.

--------------------------------------------------
No power in the 'verse can stop me, baby.

MARKR

Wednesday, February 8, 2006 1:42 PM

most have already been mentioned, but a couple which made me grin are

"you didn't have to stab him"
"yeah i know, it was just funny"

"you could have got off with Book, and spent some time meditating"
"beats just sitting"

KIZYR

Thursday, February 9, 2006 12:16 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by naijalola:
I'm surprised this hasn't been posted: I swear by my pretty floral bonnet, I'll end you.

!!!

I would've mentioned it!

That's the single line that got me hooked onto Firefly. As soon as I heard the words 'pretty floral bonnet', I knew this show was something unlike anything else. KF

~KF

Lord, I'm walking your way. Let me in, for my feet are sore, my clothes are ragged.
Look in my eyes, Lord, and my sins will play out on them as on a screen. Read them all.
Forgive what you can and send me on my path. I will walk on until you bid me rest.
~Haven Prayer

DAVESHAYNE

Thursday, February 9, 2006 1:12 AM

From Trash,

Saffron: See, all you have to do to be a rich woman is get over it.

Zoe: (after decking Saf) I'm in.

Though my favorite line also delivered by Zoe(though considering the situation it is delivered in I wouldn't call it exactly funny) is, "If they board us they'll rape us to death, eat our flesh, and sew our skins into their clothing. And if we're very lucky they will do it in that order." Absolute genious.

David

You wanna go, Little Man?
Only if it's someplace nice with candle light.

MUDDER1

Thursday, February 9, 2006 2:50 PM

One of the greatest moments in the series is in Safe when Jayne is reading Simons diary. I believe the line goes something like:
"Today I was pompous and my sister was crazy. . . Got kidnapped by hill people and were never seen again. It was the best day ever."
The fact that he spits out a tongue depressor to read it is priceless.
That is, of course, one among too many to mention.

BROWNSPARROW

Thursday, February 9, 2006 3:35 PM

I love all the crew dialogue in 'Objects in Space,' but this especially--

JAYNE: Anybody remember her coming at me
with a butcher's knife?

WASH: (remembering fondly)
Wacky fun...

JAYNE: You wanna go, little man?

WASH: Only if it's someplace with
candlelight.

ZOE: Sir, I know she's unpredictable. But
I don't think she'd harm anyone.

JAYNE: ("Hellooo...")
Butcher's knife...

ZOE: Anyone we can't spare. I mean, far
as we know, the girl's never even
picked up a gun before.

The exchange between Wash and Jayne is priceless, but Zoe's quick retort "anyone we can't spare" about kills me every time I hear it.

ELOISA

Friday, February 10, 2006 12:52 AM

Under the circumstances, River's line "We'll freeze to death first" in Out of Gas is hilarious. It's all in the delivery.

(yes, OK, I was watching it earlier...)

***
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Creative Writing

SPACEMANSPIFF

Friday, February 10, 2006 1:08 AM

Near the start of The Train Job, when River throws the tray, and Mal says to Book outside the med bay;

Yeah...he's my hero...

Just the way he says it...HI-larious! Put it under my avatar, even.

Did he just go crazy and fall asleep?

SNAP

Friday, February 10, 2006 1:14 AM

From cafePress.com:

Serenity: Revenge of the Sis

lol Not from the show, but I loved that. Adding it to my Sig! ;)

I still get a kick out of the "Kaylee's Dead" scene. It's surprising that I got caught by it the first time having watched the movie before the series. During the Doc's run to the infirmary I knew she would live, so I thought he was going to rescusitate her or some such and earn his way onto the crew. It was Big Damn Funny.

We have done the impossible and that makes us mighty.
http://www.joss.whedon.youaremighty.com/

Serenity: Revenge of the Sis

OLDFOGEY

Friday, February 10, 2006 2:05 AM

In Ariel when Simon is coaching Captain, Zoe and
Jayne how to speak doctor talk. That whole thing
just cracks me up every time.

"..dilapitated."
"Dilated."

PENGUIN

Friday, February 10, 2006 4:59 PM

"Heart of Gold" Wash to Jayne...

"Would be you get most poetical about your pecker."

ASARIAN

Friday, February 10, 2006 5:14 PM

Oh, there are funnies a'plenty in here. :) But this one, from Jayne, in the BDM, always gets to me:

"Well, now I know that."

(right after Zoe's: It only works on her, Jayne.)

EDIT: Well, since the topic says "Scenes/lines", I think one of the funniest scenes, also in the BDM, is the unbeatable expression on River's face in the hilariously cute River-to-Zoe-in-bar:

"Duh, I'am the psychic here!" look.

--
"Mei-mei, everything I have is right here." -- Simon Tam

ASARIAN

Friday, February 10, 2006 5:38 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by markr:

"you could have got off with Book, and spent some time meditating"
"beats just sitting"

Yeah. But, for me, the punchline really cracked me up:

Wash: "It *is* just sitting." :)

Hahaha! :)

--
"Mei-mei, everything I have is right here." -- Simon Tam

LEIGHKOHL

Friday, February 10, 2006 5:58 PM

My fav funny lines ever are from the deleted scene from OMR when River is telling Book that she and SImon want to get married and Simon turns to him and says, "She's really crazy!" and then River kicks him! Kills me! And after when he tells her that that's something brothers and sisters just don't do..."Well on some planets, but only pretty bad ones." So Funny!

ELOISA

Saturday, February 11, 2006 2:02 AM

I have a definite fondness for "Hamsters is nice..." (Kaylee to Simon in Jaynestown, when plastered)

***
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Creative Writing

FWBBROWNCOAT

Saturday, February 11, 2006 2:14 AM

I'd have to say one of my favorites is from "Trash" after YoSafBrig has stolen the shuttle and leaves Mal nude in the desert.

Mal(yelling at shuttle): WHORE! WHORE! FILTHY, FILTHY WHORE! YEA YOU BETTER RUN!

"Come a day there won't be room for naughty men like us to slip about at all." - Malcolm Reynolds

SAVEWASH

Saturday, February 11, 2006 3:05 AM

Everybody mentioned such great ones! Here's one of my favorites, from "War Stories":

(when they see Mal fighting with Niska's henchman)
Zoe (stops Jayne): No, Jayne, this is something the captain has to do on his own.

Mal(shouting): No, it's not!

Zoe(surprised): Oh.

Then Jayne, Zoe & Wash:

I absolutely loved that.

"We have to keep our heads so we can...keep our heads."

CIOCCOLATA

Saturday, February 11, 2006 4:43 PM

My favourite would be from the movie where Wash says something to the effect of:
"Lets get back the part where Jayne gets knocked out by a 90lb girl, that never gets old"
or something to that effect.

SHADOWCHILD

Saturday, February 11, 2006 5:21 PM

"Mine is an evil laugh! HA HA HA! Now DIE!" -Wash, playing with his dinosaurs.
The things they say in Chinese are funny too when you look up the translations.
"Stupid son of a drooling whore and a monkey!" -River, ranting at Mal(translated)
Or the part from the message:
River: "My food is problematic"
Jayne: "Mind-readin genious cant even figure out how to eat a rice ball"

WHY DID IT HAVE TO END??? It was such a beautiful show!!!!!

Also, I can kill you with my brain.

"You are such a boob."

ARCPLAYER

Monday, February 13, 2006 3:48 AM

My favorite funny moment depended on knowing the characters and how they'd act in a situation.

Out of Gas, Wash and Mal's shouting match in the cocpit. MAYBE I SHOULD DO THAT THEN! YEAH!!
Jayne comes up the halway,"What the guay do you two think your doing, fighting at a time like this" Cut to Wash and Mal's astonished faces as i'm thinking {Oh, My, God, he's the last person i'd expect to give the we've all got to pull together speach} jayne continues," Your gonna use up all the air!"

Knocked me right over. Yes he was just being Jayne after all. It was just a perfect moment. The writer got EXACTLY the reaction he was hoping for from me. And it all flows from Knowing the characters as people.

WYOBAR

Monday, February 13, 2006 5:15 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by oiamslain:
“I think I really made a difference in their lives. Me, Jayne Cobb!”
“I know your name, jackass.”

even reading this makes me laugh

GUTTERBALL

Monday, February 13, 2006 5:16 AM

Here's a favorite quietly funny part. It's more the way Simon responds -- that kinda distracted, not-really-interested snark -- than the comment itself.

Book: Live with a man 40 years. Share his house, his meals, speak on every subject. Then tie him up and hold him over the volcano's edge, and on that day, you'll finally meet the man.

Simon: *distracted* What if you don't live near a volcano?

________________________________________

Please remember that the 9:30 show is completely different from the 7:30 show. Don't forget to tip your waitress.

CDINCBR

Monday, February 13, 2006 8:24 AM

Jaynestown has to be one long hoot.

On my (only I'm sorry) second viewing of Firefly, I liked Mal's response to the drunk in the bar on Unityday who says,"that coat's kinda brown" and Mal says, "I got it on sale."

Carol in Canberra

GORBISHUN

Tuesday, February 14, 2006 1:13 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by serrada:
I love it in Jaynestown when River is hiding after seeing Shepherd's hair all hanging out,and Zoe is trying to get her out and says "He's putting the hair away now." River replies:It doesn't matter it'll still be there....WAITING!!!!I literally almost pissed my pants.

I have to agree with you, that was one of the funniest scenes ever. If I had needed to go pee I'm pretty sure I would have pissed my pants.

That whole episode was a gut buster.

ASARIAN

Tuesday, February 14, 2006 6:03 PM

This one always gets me going, too:

Wash: "I hope she does the soup thing. It's always a hoot, and we don't all die from it."

--
"Mei-mei, everything I have is right here." -- Simon Tam

GUTTERBALL

Tuesday, February 14, 2006 9:09 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by asarian:
This one always gets me going, too:

Wash: "I hope she does the soup thing. It's always a hoot, and we don't all die from it."

Ha! That one cracks me up!

Hows about this from OMR:

Mal: I didn't marry her! I don't even KNOW her!
Jayne: Then...can I know her?

________________________________________

Please remember that the 9:30 show is completely different from the 7:30 show. Don't forget to tip your waitress.

OLDMANSPLITFOOT

Friday, February 17, 2006 9:40 AM

I always really liked River's lines, and the ones in Jaynestown were among the best.

"The snow on the roof is too heavy, the ceiling will collapse. His brain is in terrible danger."

SERENITYFOREVER

Friday, February 17, 2006 12:30 PM

Simon: I've never shot anyone before!
Book: I was there, son. I'm fair sure you haven't shot anyone yet.

My personal favorite, from the movie...

Operative: Do you know what your sin is?
Mal: Aw, hell. I'm a fan of all seven. Right now, I'm gonna have to go with Wrath.

WOLF359

Friday, February 17, 2006 5:37 PM

Don't ahve the specific quotes from it butin Heart of Gold when jayne is in the room with the whore and Mal's trying to talk to him on the radio.Jayne's too busy saying something about what the gal is doing being "dirty" I believe to immediately respond.A nice creepy little Jayne moment.

His drunken moment of love fo rhis rain stick in Our Mrs.Reynolds is funny too.

Basically any scene with Jayne not trying to kill someone is funny most often.

Like a trained ape without the training!

ISAACSHEPHERD

Friday, February 17, 2006 6:11 PM

One of my favorites is from Safe at the end. I can't remember the lines exactly because I loaned out my DVD and it's been a while since I've seen the episode. Anyways, it takes place when the townspeople are going to burn river and everyone arrives just in time. The line goes something like this.

Mal: What's that make us Zoe?
Zoe: Big damn heroes!
Mal: Ain't we just!

Mal's last line gets me every time.
IS

CHARLENE

Saturday, February 18, 2006 9:16 PM

Mal: No I don't! No I don't!

Which episode was that? I honestly don't know...

Hmm funniest line... That's a tough one, so many HI-larious ones already mentioned...

Hmm I read all and I don't remember seeing:

Wash: Some people juggle geese!

Kaylee: Oh, sweetie, don't feel bad. He
makes everybody cry. He's like a monster!

Mal: I'm not a monster!

Mal: So what does it say in there about divorce?

Mal: Whatever happens, remember I love you!

Zoe: Sir?!

Mal: Because you're my wife!

Kaylee: You couldn't possibly have!

Simon: I wish I was lying. I just -- we'dall just made surgeon, that was it, we were the elite, the world was ours, you know --

Kaylee: -- so you had to be naked.

Simon: Naked, yes, and on top of the statue of Hypocrates, and -- Can you just picture me?

Kaylee: Naked? I'll have to conjure up --it'll be tough.

Kaylee: (cont'd)So the feds came?

Simon: There were no feds. Until I started singing.

Kaylee:(laughing)Oh no! What'd you sing?

Simon: This is not funny. This a morality tale about the evils of sake.

Simon: Are you Alliance?

Early:(not understanding)Am I a lion?

Simon: What?

Early: I don't think of myself as a lion.
(smiles)You may as well, though: I have a
mighty roar.

River: River's gone.

Early: Then who exactly are we talking to?

River: You're talking to Serenity. And Early... Serenity is very unhappy.

Early: Where'd she go?

Simon: I can't keep track of her when she's
NOT incorporeally possessing a spaceship, don't look at me --

Mal: Am I dreaming?

River: We all are.

Mal rolls his eyes.

River: Don't make faces.

River: He takes so much looking after!

So that're all right now, but I'll be back...

--------------------------------------------------

I am 94% Like River Tam

The Fugitive. You are clever and dangerous, which is a nasty combination.
The fact you are crazy too just adds to your charm.
They did bad things to you, but you know their secrets.
They will regret how they made you.

--------------------------------------------------

THINGY

Sunday, February 19, 2006 4:17 AM

I'd have t'say that there is no gorram way I could choose one favorite line. However, there was one funniest episode: Our Mrs. Reynolds hands down. That episode kills me everytime that I watch it.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - ... +
"She's in Congress?"

GUTTERBALL

Sunday, February 19, 2006 5:07 AM

Jayne: Let's move this conversation in a "not Jayne's fault" direction!

Jayne: What'd ya'll order a dead guy for?

Jubal: Your brother's brains'll be flyin every which-a-way! *aside to Simon* You understand. I'm kinda on a clock here. 'S frustratin.

Mal: One of you is gonna fall and die and I'm not cleaning it up!

Niska: Have you ever read the works of Shan Yu?
Mal: You startin a book club? What...are you tryin to...*grunts, chokes, bleeds*...tryin to torture me?

Jubal: You folks are all insane.
Simon: *grins and sits back* Well, my sister's a ship. We had a complicated childhood.

Jayne: Well...*slaps table*...I don't like the idea of someone hearin what I'm thinkin.
Inara: No one likes the idea of hearing what you're thinking.

Kaylee: *staring fixedly at Jayne's statue* Everywhere I move...his eyes keep followin me.

Mal: He's got the pretty fits. Soft hands, obviously a moneyed individual. Good skin, all pale and lily-white--
Simon: All right! I'll do it. Just...stop describing me.

And, of course, a completely non-verbal funny: the looks on Jayne's, Wash's, and Mal's faces the first time the Bard sings "The Hero of Canton! The man they call Jayne!" Hahah! Priceless stuff!

________________________________________

Please remember that the 9:30 show is completely different from the 7:30 show. Don't forget to tip your waitress.

MELAM

Wednesday, February 22, 2006 9:00 AM

Jayne: I'm just saying, *points at Tracy* Gold.

"Putting the Me in Mercinary, Jayne Cobb."

"Joss, what is the future of television? What will we watch? And how will we watch it? Surely you must know, for you are wise, and slender."

PEULSAR5

Wednesday, February 22, 2006 10:04 AM

It's been mentioned already, but Simon holding his head with his mouth hanging open when they're singing "The Hero of Canton." Cracks me up EVERY time.

SAMAFIN

Wednesday, February 22, 2006 2:43 PM

Quote:

Ha! That one cracks me up!

Hows about this from OMR:

Mal: I didn't marry her! I don't even KNOW her!
Jayne: Then...can I know her?

OMR's hysterical. I personally love the way Zoe says "Jayne, don't sully this!" like it's some sweet, romantic thing, when you know she's just trying her hardest not to laugh.

S.

What is this signature you speak of?

JACKEBROWN

Thursday, February 23, 2006 1:11 AM

From "Our Mrs Reynolds"-Saffron explaining about the nasty "Blubberous" guys She'd seen married to other Girls while talking about Mal- Mal checks himself out.."There's Blubber??"

Also OMR..Following Book's "Special Hell" dig to Mal..on Hearing Mal had Kissed Saffron "Isn't that..Special?!"

River's "They didn't know they were cows inside" lines in "Safe"-
Mal-"Is it bad that what She just said made perfect sense to Me"?

www.grrr.argh

LAINCOUBERT

Thursday, February 23, 2006 1:37 AM

Don't know if somebody said it already, but my personal humorous favorite (w/ the exception of tons of stuff you all said from OMR, and probably several moments from every episode if I get started thinking...) from Objects in Space is the following (or something close to it):

Early: You know, with the exception of one deadly and unpredictable midget, your sister is the smallest cargo I've ever had transport, yet by far the most troublesome. That seem right to you?

Simon: What did he do?

Early: Who?

Simon: The midget.

(FAVORITE LINE)
Early: Arson. Little man LOVED fire.

Such a random line to throw in; I laugh every time.

"Lemon...LEMON..... mule"

GUTTERBALL

Thursday, February 23, 2006 3:18 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by samafin:
Quote:
Mal: I didn't marry her! I don't even KNOW her!
Jayne: Then...can I know her?

I personally love the way Zoe says "Jayne, don't sully this!" like it's some sweet, romantic thing, when you know she's just trying her hardest not to laugh.

Heh, and later in the same scene, when Saffron's crying and everyone's trying to comfort her, Jayne reaches over and "comfortingly" strokes the very tip of her shoulder with one finger.

*cracks up*

God, that whole scene is priceless!

________________________________________

Please remember that the 9:30 show is completely different from the 7:30 show. Don't forget to tip your waitress.

SAMAFIN

Thursday, February 23, 2006 3:21 AM

Quote:

Heh, and later in the same scene, when Saffron's crying and everyone's trying to comfort her, Jayne reaches over and "comfortingly" strokes the very tip of her shoulder with one finger.

hey, he can stroke me anywhere comfortingly...lol

yum

signature? we don't need no stinking signature!

NCBROWNCOAT

Thursday, February 23, 2006 3:53 AM

One not mentioned. In the beginning of Trash (don't know if I can quote it exactly)

YoSafBridge-You missed a spot
Mal-You can't miss a place you've never been.

Also in that same scene YoSafBridge sticks out her tongue at Mal with a snarky look on her face-

Besides Jaynestown OMR and Trash are the funniest episodes IIMHO

AGIRLYMAN

Thursday, February 23, 2006 3:55 AM

What "Jade" said:

Mal tells Inara that he knows she didn't fall down,
she was just standing there waiting for Mal to kiss her..

"I knew you kissed her"

What a bonehead, lovable, but a bonehead none the less!

AM I NOT MERCIFUL?!?!?!?

Tee Hee

NINAH148

Thursday, February 23, 2006 4:31 AM

It's only been mentioned once, but it's so randomly wonderful.

"...get him a sword." (Mal:) "A swhat?!"

Also, when YoSaffBridge finishes her extended erotic bible recitation and Mal says almost contemplatively, "That's a good bible."

COPILOT

Thursday, February 23, 2006 7:01 AM

My favorite line has to be in the BDM

Simon to River
---It's okay to leave them to die
Then she looks him and nods very distracted I love the whole movie but certain lines just jump into you mind
Also the Kaylee masterbation line that's just damn Hi-larious
If I don't stop now this post will just go on forever lots in the series as well

An I carried such a torch

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