Things they'll likely never say.....

POSTED BY: Ankhagogo
UPDATED: Sunday, February 26, 2006 10:20
VIEWED: 32544
PAGE 1 of 1

ANKHAGOGO

Saturday, March 6, 2004 4:45 AM

Okay, I'm channelling all my glee at the movie news into silliness, cause that's what I do.
This one's for Mal -- go ahead n add to his, or make lists for someone else.

Things You'll Likely Never Hear Malcolm Reynolds Say:

"These pants just aren't tight enough."

"Reavers! Sweet!"

"Great news! I just got a job as an accountant in Alliance HQ!"

"Check out the rack on River."

"Simon, the bridge is yours"

"Jayne, stop hoggin' the covers."

"We'll be having prayer meetings every Wednesday."

"Shoot, it ain't my boat. Y'all do whatever you want."

"Kaylee sucks."

"And it is, it is a glorious thing, to be the pirate king!"

"Zoe, you ignorant slut."

"You are such a boob."

ANKHAGOGO

Saturday, March 6, 2004 5:32 AM

Sorry---I just realized I put this in the totally wrong discussion area. It's been a long week.

Can it be moved?

"You are such a boob."

DRAKON

Saturday, March 6, 2004 2:49 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Ankhagogo:

Things You'll Likely Never Hear Malcolm Reynolds Say:

"And it is, it is a glorious thing, to be the pirate king!"

ROFLMAO!!! I can just see him doing the full Kevin Kline for this number.

"Wash, where is my damn spaceship?"

INEVITABLEBETRAYAL

Sunday, March 7, 2004 11:01 PM

No promises of humor, just my take:

Mal: You know, I reckon stayin' in one place a spell may be the thing to do.

Zoe: No, sir.

Wash: I'm sorry, cap'n, but I'm afraid that's beyond my ability as a pilot.

Jayne [thought to self]: Perhaps I oughtn't say this; it is rather inappropriate.

Kaylee: Nah...I'd really rather stay and work on the engine; a dress-up fancy occassion just doesn't appeal at the moment.

Simon: Dude!

River: [Anything at all coherent]

Book: I say we kill 'em all and take the loot!

Inara: I love you, Mal.

_______________________________________________
I wish I had a magical wish-granting plank.

ANKHAGOGO

Monday, March 8, 2004 3:12 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by InevitableBetrayal:
No promises of humor, just my take:

Zoe: No, sir.

Jayne [thought to self]: Perhaps I oughtn't say this; it is rather inappropriate.

Simon: Dude!

I don't know if it's the actual idea of Jayne thinking that or the idea that he would say the word "oughtn't" that's funnier.

But now I'm picturing Simon saying "Dude!"

hee heeeee

"Jayne is a girl's name."

GINOBIFFARONI

Monday, March 8, 2004 3:14 AM

" Things You'll Likely Never Hear Malcolm Reynolds Say:

I like this thread, funny.

But here is a challenge to you...

Write a short Fan-Fic with the characters using each of your funny sugestions. It would be hillarious.

" Thats not fair !!!!
I didn't even have a soul when I did that!"

TEELABROWN

Sunday, March 28, 2004 8:48 PM

A two-person...
Zoe: Honey, where are your dinosaurs?
Wash: Oh, I outgrew them.

These are all very, very funny!

_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2 plus 2 make 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

MERAT

Monday, March 29, 2004 4:20 AM

Book: "You want to know about my past? Sure thing. Well, it all started when....."

Someone out there was going to find out that their worst nightmare was a maddened Librarian.

FIREFLYTHEMOVIE

Monday, March 29, 2004 4:26 AM

Fox execs: "We were utter fools."

DAVCO92

Monday, March 29, 2004 7:03 AM

Mal to Alliance recruiter: "So, where do I sign up?"

Zoe to Alliance recruiter: "Yes, sir."

Jayne: "Huh? I don't get it. I like kissin menfolk on the mouth...specially if they ain't shaved lately."

Burn the land, boil the sea...

ANKHAGOGO

Tuesday, March 30, 2004 4:15 AM

Zoe:

"Dammit, I broke a nail!"

"Guns just aren't feminine."

"That Jayne Cobb is one fine-lookin' mother..."

"Inara's teaching me how to be a Companion. Jayne, you wanna watch?"

"I wish we'd spend more time in the Core."

"And this one time, at band camp...."

"Mal, shut the hell up."

"So...would his job be available?"

MANTICHORUS

Wednesday, May 19, 2004 11:06 AM

Something you'd NEVER hear Jayne say...
Jayne: Why don't we all sit down an' discuss this reasonably?

"BADGER: You think you're better than other people.
MAL: Just the ones I'm better than."

GUNHAND

Wednesday, May 19, 2004 11:46 AM

Simon: "Dammit Mal I'm a doctor not a bricklayer!"

Jayne: "...and in conclusion my fellow Nobel candidates, if you follow my hypothesis on the greenhouse effect in the latter part of the 21st century we can deduce that the scale of hydrochloroflourocarbons reached a critical state in this vector while..."

Kaylee: "Not now Simon, I have a headache."

Inara: "No I don't want to go shoe shopping on our trip here to the Core, I want to go to a tractor pull!"

Mal: "I take you, Yolanda Saffron Bridget Mellisa Alexandria Amanda Choloe Kimberly etc. etc. to be my lawfully wedded wife..."

Wash: "Dinosaur zoo? Boooooriiiing."

Zoe: "Take me Shepard, take me hard."

River: "I feel fine. Can we go get some pancakes?"

Book: "On piracy, well, the Bible is a mite bit fuzzier on that."

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-
"Oh hey, I got an idea. Instead of us hanging
around playing art critic till I get pinched by
the Man, how's about we move away from this
eerie-ass piece of work and get on with our
increasingly eerie-ass day, how's that?"

My eerie-ass website:
http://gunhandsfirefly.homestead.com/Index.html

ASTRIANA

Wednesday, May 19, 2004 12:27 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Ankhagogo:
Zoe:

"Mal, shut the hell up."

Ahhhhh Ha ha ha ha ha...

LMGAO!

~A~
El Jefe Magnifico's Mistress... of Communications and Harems...

...I'm still free,
You can't take the sky from me.

DTT

Wednesday, May 19, 2004 1:01 PM

Mal: "Well, that's just uncouth."

Jayne: "War -- what is it good for?"

Wash: "Relations with Zoe are, well, mediocre."

Simon: "Nothin' like a day of watching sports."

Book: "Long hair is for girls."

Kaylee: "Math is hard. Ewwww, engines are dirty."

"Zoe: "I'll do all the laundry, while you go have a beer."

River: "Don't misunderestimate me."

Inara: "I'll be in Jayne's bunk."

"You didn't have to wound that man."
"Yeah, I know. It was just funny."

INSIGHT SPINNER

Wednesday, May 19, 2004 2:27 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Drakon:
Quote:
Originally posted by Ankhagogo:

Things You'll Likely Never Hear Malcolm Reynolds Say:

"And it is, it is a glorious thing, to be the pirate king!"

ROFLMAO!!! I can just see him doing the full Kevin Kline for this number.

"Wash, where is my damn spaceship?"

BWAAHAHAHA!! That is the exact image I saw, too!!!

insight spinner
__________

Just an object. It doesn't mean what you think....

INSIGHT SPINNER

Wednesday, May 19, 2004 2:31 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Ankhagogo:
Zoe:

"Dammit, I broke a nail!"

"Guns just aren't feminine."

"That Jayne Cobb is one fine-lookin' mother..."

"Inara's teaching me how to be a Companion. Jayne, you wanna watch?"

"I wish we'd spend more time in the Core."

"And this one time, at band camp...."

"Mal, shut the hell up."

"So...would his job be available?"

[chanting]
More Zoe! More Zoe! More Zoe!

Since she says so little, there's no end to the humor in the things she wouldn't say!!

insight spinner
__________

Just an object. It doesn't mean what you think....

INSIGHT SPINNER

Wednesday, May 19, 2004 2:36 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by dtt:

Inara: "I'll be in Jayne's bunk."

"You didn't have to wound that man."
"Yeah, I know. It was just funny."

WHEEEEEEEEE!!!

Now that sounds downright unnatural.

insight spinner
__________

Just an object. It doesn't mean what you think....

DTT

Wednesday, May 19, 2004 2:42 PM

Zoe: "Does this dress make me look fat?"
Zoe: "That is soooo cuuuuuuuuuuute!"
Zoe: "Husband or Captain? That's a tough decision -- my fragile female psyche can't handle the strain. I'm going to cry now."
Zoe: "Does anybody know where I put my lipstick?"
Zoe: "Guns are bad, 'mkay?"
Zoe: "I want to teach you all about love."
Zoe: "I believe in Neo, Morpheus."

"You didn't have to wound that man."
"Yeah, I know. It was just funny."

INSIGHT SPINNER

Wednesday, May 19, 2004 3:56 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by dtt:
Zoe: "Does this dress make me look fat?"
Zoe: "That is soooo cuuuuuuuuuuute!"
Zoe: "Husband or Captain? That's a tough decision -- my fragile female psyche can't handle the strain. I'm going to cry now."
Zoe: "Does anybody know where I put my lipstick?"
Zoe: "Guns are bad, 'mkay?"
Zoe: "I want to teach you all about love."
Zoe: "I believe in Neo, Morpheus."

"You didn't have to wound that man."
"Yeah, I know. It was just funny."

Oh yeah!! I love 'em all, but

Zoe: "I believe in Neo, Morpheus."

Now that's a keeper!! See how she is blindly loyal to her husband, no matter the 'verse?

That's my Zoe. She's my role model. Well, gotta go back and kick some butt for a living, just like her. Be back soon.

[Inspin goes back to her work calling "here, spreadsheet, spreadsheet. Nice spreadsheet!!"] Yeah, I'm feelin' mighty tough.]

insight spinner
__________

Just an object. It doesn't mean what you think....

JUMPY

Wednesday, May 19, 2004 4:15 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Gunhand:

Book: "On piracy, well, the Bible is a mite bit fuzzier on that."

"On belief in God, well, the Bible is a mite bit fuzzier on that."

(I love INEVITABLEBETRAYAL's take on this thread btw)

__________________________
There's no show I'd rather see, than the one with Serenity.
You can't take the sky from me...

WEERWOLF

Wednesday, May 19, 2004 4:49 PM

Simon: "Kaylee, I love you. Even if ten thousand of the most beautiful women of the core would throw themselves at me while tearing off their clothes, I'd still only have eyes for you. Because I love you Kaylee, and you're the most beautiful woman in the 'verse."

He'd probably WANT to say it, but I can't just see him delivering it... He'd just mess up again.

Mal: "Guys, I want you to meet Jayne's replacement. All welcome... well he doesn't have a name, but as you can clearly see from all the self-inflicted mutilations, he's a Reaver."

Jayne: "Simon, can you hold Vera for a moment please?"

Zoe: "Wash, do you want me to wash your feet after you finished the soup?"

Not too sure on that one though...

Wash: "Ahhhh! We're going to crash! No Mal, I mean it!" (Big explosion as Serenity crashes into Uranus)

River: "No, I really actually liked the experiments, but Simon was so helplessly confused about the matter that I tried to play along so as not to confuse him even more..."

Book: "How much is that Geisha in the window..."

Inara: "No Jayne, if you really want to become a Companion, you have to learn how play the dulcimer. Now sit down and lets try again from the top..."

Kaylee: "Mal if you'd just listen to me and got that damn part when I told you too, you wouldn't have gotten yourself shot!"

--------------------------------------------
"Damn it Mal... I forgot my line!"

GRACEOM

Wednesday, May 19, 2004 5:19 PM

Kaylee: Serenity really is a piece of gos-se

Mal: Inara, give up your life as a glamorous courtesan and marry me!

Inara: Mal, you were right all along--life as a petty criminal is more rewarding and honorable than life as high-class, legal, prostitute.

Inara: No Mal, I never have sex with my clients.

Simon: As long as River's around I'll never be able to have a normal love-life with Kaylee. So, I say we turn her in, grab the reward, and never look back.

Book: River, can you please finish fixing my Bible? I like what you've done so far.

Grace

DELIA

Wednesday, May 19, 2004 8:07 PM

A few more . . .

Jayne: Please accept my most heartfelt, sincere, and humble apologies.

Zoe: Mal is, like, such a dork.

Wash: Honey, I think you should listen to the captain more.

Kaylee: Ummm, sorry to bother you, but, well, I think there's something wrong with that big thingy that makes the ship go. The doohickey's gone all wonky, and there's this weird "whomp whomp" noise. Anybody know how to fix that?

Badger: Nah, you're looking for Malcolm Reynolds. He's way better than me.

Mal: This is a glorious day for all pround members of the Allied Planets. Unification Day! Drinks are on me!

___________________________________________
WESLEY : Feng shui.
GUNN: Right. What's that mean again?
WESLEY: That people will believe anything.

SKYDANCE

Wednesday, May 19, 2004 8:18 PM

"Zoe: Does this dress make me look fat?"

Winner! Go, DTT! *laughs*

HOAGIE

Thursday, May 20, 2004 4:49 PM

Simon: Kaylee, i know that you have feelings for me, but i love my sister... i mean i really love my sister.

sick and wrong, i know. i'm sorry

MENELUIN

Thursday, May 20, 2004 5:14 PM

Quote:

Kaylee: "Not now Simon, I have a headache."

!!!!!! Great. Now I'm laughing so hard I'm squealing... at work. That is so ruttin' funny!!!!!

~~~~~~~~
http://www.thepaperbackwriter.com
AIM: KingArthursPiano
E-mail/MSN: sgtpprsgrl@hotmail.com

DELIA

Thursday, May 20, 2004 8:29 PM

Gunhand,

HA! I loved them, especially

Quote:
Originally posted by Gunhand:
Simon: "Dammit Mal I'm a doctor not a bricklayer!"

Zoe: "Take me Shepard, take me hard."

River: "I feel fine. Can we go get some pancakes?"

Delia

___________________________________________
WESLEY : Feng shui.
GUNN: Right. What's that mean again?
WESLEY: That people will believe anything.

FIREFLEW

Thursday, May 20, 2004 11:23 PM

Kaylee : Oh Simon, that's such a lovely thing to say.

Jayne: "Know what the chain of command is? It's the chain I beat you with till you understand who's in command."

ANKHAGOGO

Friday, May 21, 2004 12:36 AM

Simon: "Dammit Mal I'm a doctor not a bricklayer!"

Zoe: "Take me Shepard, take me hard."

River: "I feel fine. Can we go get some pancakes?"

Mal: "Well, that's just uncouth."

Kaylee: Ummm, sorry to bother you, but, well, I think there's something wrong with that big thingy that makes the ship go. The doohickey's gone all wonky, and there's this weird "whomp whomp" noise. Anybody know how to fix that?

Simon: As long as River's around I'll never be able to have a normal love-life with Kaylee. So, I say we turn her in, grab the reward, and never look back.

LMGAO!!! I can just hear Kaylee in my head saying "doohickey"!

To be perfectly self-centered, I'm glad whoever revived this thread. I like silliness.
Especially after last night.

"I'd kinda like to slay a dragon."

SUENOS

Friday, May 21, 2004 2:08 AM

Inara: "I’ve realized that sleeping with people for money isn’t the kind of life I want to lead. I’d like to do something in the restaurant industry."

Inara: "You’re using that entirely wrong. It goes more to the left and don’t forget to turn the safety on. You could have killed us all!"

River: "I’ve realized my excessive need for drama is because I haven’t discovered my inner child. I’m off to eat ice cream and play with blocks."

Zoe: " Common Kaylee, Inara, River! Pottery Barn is having a sale and I want to get there early. Than we can stop at the Cheesecake factory for lunch!"

_____________________________________
Just because it didn't happen dosen't mean I didn't see it.

ANNIK

Friday, May 21, 2004 6:58 AM

Great threat!

Jayne: This here'n hat of mine is rather cunning, but does it go with my shoes?

River: Luke, use the Force.

Simon: This Chinese-painted plate is the most gorgeous example of pre-post-ante-peri-artwork I've ever had the pleasure to see!

Shepherd: Save your own damn souls, gorrammit!

Inara: As a Registered Companion, I get a courtesty discount at all bedding, prophylactic, and tea shoppes.

Zoe: I think it would be safest if Wash went with you on this mission, sir.

Wash: All kidding aside, Mal. I'm absolutely certain that you need to make love to my wife.

Kaylee: I go both ways.

Mal: So do I.

Cheers,
Annik
... my sister's a ship. We had a complicated childhood.

CYBERSNARK

Friday, May 21, 2004 2:48 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by dtt:
Zoe: "Husband or Captain? That's a tough decision -- my fragile female psyche can't handle the strain. I'm going to cry now."

I can actually hear her saying that, in a flat, ironic deadpan delivery.

-----
We applied the cortical electrodes but were unable to get a neural reaction from either patient.

MILORADELL

Friday, May 21, 2004 3:07 PM

Mal regarding Serenity - "Who gives a gorram what happens to it? At least we'll get the insurance money."

****
"The pessimist and the optimist have one thing in common: they both think that this is the best of all possible worlds." Voltaire

SUENOS

Friday, May 21, 2004 9:08 PM

Okay, just a few more.

Mal: "Simon you have the bridge."

Joss: "I look forward to working with FOX again."

Tim: "Fox has been so good to all the shows I've worked on."

Haken: "I'm going to develope a website that focuses on all the quality reality shows that FOX broadcasts."

_________________________________
Red wine goes with everything!

GEEZER

Sunday, May 23, 2004 6:01 PM

Book: "While my attention was elsewhere, someone stole all my religious pamplets. I guess you could say I was (wait for it) distracted." (rimshot)

"Keep the Shiny side up"

SERENITYSLITTLEANGEL

Friday, February 10, 2006 6:43 PM

Thought I'd bring this back.

Mal: Screw the Independants. [Puts on cute cheerleader outfit] Go Alliance!!!!

Simon: Kaylee, I think I'm in love with Jayne.
Kaylee: Fine with me. Up for a threesome?

------------------------------------
19 conversions and counting!!!

ASARIAN

Friday, February 10, 2006 7:03 PM

With my mind still on the chicken thread, I guess this one, in reverse, works here too:

Ruby (Safe): [anything at all]

--
"Mei-mei, everything I have is right here." -- Simon Tam

ASARIAN

Friday, February 10, 2006 7:16 PM

Why, these are a lot harder than the chicken jokes, actually; but okay. :)

River: Bible's just fine.

Simon: This is not my sister.

Jayne: Jayne is a girl's name.

--
"Mei-mei, everything I have is right here." -- Simon Tam

DC4BS

Friday, February 10, 2006 10:54 PM

Simon: This is not my beautiful house! How did I get here?

Zoe: Hmm... How to split a beer atom? Now where did I put that chisel? (boom!)

Inara: You want fries with that?

Jayne: Excuse me, have you any Grey Poupon?

------------------------------------------
dc4bs

THESOAPBOXER

Friday, February 10, 2006 11:32 PM

Mal: Come to think of it, you can take the sky from me.

Mal: Slither looks like it's gonna be stupid.

Wash: God, these shirts are tacky!

Inara: You're right, Mal! I am a whore!

Zoe: Ah... Ugh... There we go! I finally pulled that stick out of my ass.

Simon: I should really tweeze my eyebrows.

Kaylee: I am taking a vow of celebacy.

River: I hate my misshapen feet.

Joss: I hate Summer's feet.

Joss: Aw, why didn't I write Fastlane instead!?

Joss: You know what? My fans seem to like this character. I think I'll let him live.

_____________________________________________
Could you please just make it stranger? Just stranger. Odder. Could be weirder. More bizarre. How about uncanny? ~Joss Whedon

GUTTERBALL

Saturday, February 11, 2006 5:51 AM

Mal: The nice thing about not being puritanical about sex is not being uncomfortable when someone else has it.

Zoe: I like the one with ruffles!

Wash: Sometimes I think you don't take me seriously.

Jayne: Look, they got boy whores!

Kaylee: Find me that kid takin a dirtnap with Baby Jesus!

Book: Bible's broken. Inconsistencies. False logistics. Doesn't make sense.

Simon: Any more of that and I'll show you I got manparts!

River: Wacky fun!

Inara: Is that Jayne? Is that really him? Wash, pinch me -- I must be dreamin'!

________________________________________

Please remember that the 9:30 show is completely different from the 7:30 show. Don't forget to tip your waitress.

DINKY

Saturday, February 11, 2006 6:21 AM

Nice one:

Quote:
Originally posted by asarian:
With my mind still on the chicken thread, I guess this one, in reverse, works here too:

Ruby (Safe): [anything at all]

--
"Mei-mei, everything I have is right here." -- Simon Tam

Hahah! This thread's great.

Alliance Officer: (after viewing Book's ID Card) Kill this man immediatly!!

TENTHCREWMEMBER

Saturday, February 11, 2006 7:00 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Fireflythemovie:
Fox execs: "We were utter fools."

This one's your winner...well at least it would be if you ever start having a winner... ;)

Inara: I'm tired of sex, wealth, and glory...hey Mal! Let's play Russian Roulette with the Lassiter!

Jayne: 2+2=4

Book: F**K YOU, MAL!

Simon: Well, duhhh!

River: Actually, I am Simon's brother, and we are in love. It is all wrong, and we don't care if everyone knows now.
Simon: What?!!? No it isn't...well, okay, yeah, it's true.

Zoe: Take me, Jayne, take me hard.

Kaylee: Bitch came up in my house and played that shit on me? Oh it's on...it is soooo on!

Wash: Um, Hawaiian shirts are tacky, please stop buying them for me.

Mal: So, I got on my knees for this Alliance Commander and, well, long story short *snicker* he let me and the squad go. He still waves on occasion you know... *dreamy stare*

YoSaffBridge: Gertrude Labia Lipschitz...that's my real name. Happy now?

Jubel Early: Screw this Bounty Hunter gig, I'm trying out for Parliamentary Idol! *bad singing as Coolio as he exits*

Mr. Universe: Listen, Lovebot. Get it? I have a Looooveboooot...I haven't got time to mess with your security feeds and psychotic psychic. Two words-*ticks off on fingers* Love. Bot. *clicks off screen*
Mal: Huh. I reckon that means we're up go se creek without a paddle. Oh well...Kaylee, wanna have sex in the engine room instead of saving the day, seein' as we're probably Reaver bait assuming this jackoff assassin doesn't catch us first?
Kaylee: Not again... *rolls eyes, begins disrobing mindlessly as she plods down the hall*
Jayne: Yer not gonna make me watch again, are you? Sex gives me an uncomfortableness.

Tracey: You're a rabbit, Mal!
(though someone at Fox thinks he did! Watch the subtitles...)

Amnon: Jail? As someone's bitch? Um, sounds cool!

Mrs. Burgess: Baby? What baby? Rance Burgess, you get back here and tell me who the whore is!

Joss Whedon: Firefly? Never heard of it. What's a Browncoat? Sorry, not ringing any bells...perhaps if you acted out a scene?

Mal(to Wash in War Stories): Yeah, I banged your wife during the war...and twice last night!

Mal(about Patience): Oooh! I wanna tap THAT!
Zoe: Me too...

Wash: Grow up, would ya?

Jayne: Well, if you reverse the particle flux and amplify the residual static, you should get a definitive solution to your inertial response factors...well, that is unless the polarity of the axial compensators is compromised due to a hydraulic dysfunction.

Inara: Yeeee haaaaaw! Damn this mule is a mighty fine ride! I can't wait to jump another gulley!

Mal: I love you, Inara.
Inara: I love you, Mal.
Joss: And they lived happily ever after. The End.

Now that's comedy!

BWAH!
TCM

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*Avail yourself of my trade! I have original (meaning: designed by me!) T-shirts, posters, mugs and more at http://www.cafepress.com/10thcrew
*Download my Firefly Games for FREE at http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=13&t=12622
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In or near Ohio? Join us!
http://p097.ezboard.com/bohiofireflyfans
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/firefly-ohio

CHOLLETT

Saturday, February 11, 2006 7:00 AM

Kaylee: "Dammit, Mal!"

Inara: "Sod off!"

Simon: "I hate my sister, but i love it when she goes crazy"

Jayne: "Now, you see here, when the tangent of Pi is multiplied by x to the power of 10..."

Zoe: "How's my hair?"

River: "I feel perfectly normal"

Book: "I don't care what you believe. ...seriously, that's it. I don't care."

Wash: "I feel bad for you, Jayne. Want some tea and ice for the bruise?"

Mal: "My God! I was on the wrong side!"

I'm babbling like a moonbrain.

ASARIAN

Saturday, February 11, 2006 8:20 AM

Let's start the day off subtle, shall we? :)

Jayne: "We applied the cortical electrodes, but were unable to get a neural response from either patient."

(no, seriously, come time to say it, Jayne actually got it wrong again, and said: "were unable to get a neural REACTION". Y'all probably knew that, but I only noticed it the third time around, and thought it was hilarious, lol).

Saffron: They played me, from minute one.

Zoe: That's quite a brain you have there, Sir.

River: Eta kuram nah smekh!

And, after that,

River: [anything at all]

Reaver: I want to resolve this like civilized men.

Me: I couldn't care less about River. :)

P.S. Sorry for the last one.

--
"Mei-mei, everything I have is right here." -- Simon Tam

ASARIAN

Saturday, February 11, 2006 9:14 AM

I'm in a super silly mood this morning (don' make em good jokes, per se).

The Fruity Oaty Bar: Don't bother.

Mr. Universe: What, there's a signal?

Chicken: Yeah, right. (subtle)

--
"Mei-mei, everything I have is right here." -- Simon Tam

HYDRAGON

Saturday, February 11, 2006 10:19 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by dtt:
Mal: "Well, that's just uncouth."

Actually, Mal probably would say something like that. But not in any sort of refined manner.

Quote:
Originally posted by Delia:
Mal: This is a glorious day for all pround members of the Allied Planets. Unification Day! Drinks are on me!

That too. No matter how sarcastic he'd be, he'd still be saying it.

And now for a few of my own:

Mal: Aha! I'm not a Browncoat at all! I'm an Alliance Spy!

Zoe: A-ha! I knew it all along! I'm an Independent spy sent to spy on you, Mal!

Wash: Aha A-ha! I never loved you, Zoe, for I am actually an Alliance spy sent to make sure that Mal hasn't switched sides!

Simon: And I'm not really River's brother! I'm her sister!

River: And I'm Simon's brother! And I'm perfectly sane!

Simon: Also we're both Browncoat spies.

Jayne: I'm also a spy for a seperate party that no one else is aware of! I was sent to make sure that you never found out about our ancient race of spy-der people, who are all spies!

Kaylee: Inara and I are lesbian lovers!

Mal: Well, yeah. That was pretty obvious!

Inara: We're also spies!

Wash: We kinda figured.

*Everyone looks at Book*

Book: No, actually, I don't have any mysterious, incriminating history whatsoever. I just read a bunch of spy novels as a kid.

The show is then relaunched on Comedy Central as a wacky sitcom called "Spyrenity". It goes down as one of the most insane and pointless plot twists in history.

:P

SERENITYSLITTLEANGEL

Saturday, February 11, 2006 12:49 PM

Kaylee: *hits the engine with her wrench* Stupid *hit* ship. *hit* Never *hit* works *hit* right! *hit* *screams and shoots it*

----------------------------------
19 conversions and counting!!!

SHINYSEVEN2

Saturday, February 11, 2006 2:52 PM

JAYNE: Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune...

My name is Gabriel Tam! You turned my daughter into a psychotic psychic assassin! Prepare to die!

CAPTBRYAN

Saturday, February 11, 2006 3:13 PM

Inara: Comeon,comeon...OOooohhHhoh...Deeper Simon,deeper...thats it thasssit!

Mal:Simon never has to pay Inara...and she talks dirty for him...

River:Why are we watchin them again?

Mal:Come on River read my mind here.

River: Oh I see,I love you Mal

Mal:I love you too.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Book:Holy Cow

-----------------------
Reaver Man: Its my right to rape and eat any one I please and I'll sue you if say no.

Other Reaver Man: Why dont we rape and eat each other?

Reaver Man: What?...Are you sick or sumthin? I dont know who you raped or ate before.Besides I dont swing that way.

++++==========++++++++++++=====

Saying that God authored confusion by creating Lucifer is like saying my sniper rifle goes out all by itself and shoots people 2 miles away so I dont get into trouble.

Ridin the Ocean's boring when there aint no waves

AMITON

Saturday, February 11, 2006 5:25 PM

Quote:

River: Eta kuram nah smekh!

And, after that,

River: [anything at all]

OMFG!! THAT is awesome...bwahahahahahahahahahahahah!

Amiton.

KAELE

Saturday, February 11, 2006 9:00 PM

This thread's a hoot. Sorry, but my favorite was:

Quote:
Haken: "I'm going to develop a website that focuses on all the quality reality shows that FOX broadcasts."

{sarcasm} God, I LOVE those shows. What channel's that on anyway? {/sarcasm}

Kaele
AIM - Dewlanna
YID - jedi_kaele

ELEKA

Saturday, February 11, 2006 10:19 PM

Quote:
JAYNE: Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune...

*sporfle* I have just realized that drinking and reading parts of this thread do not go together. Jayne will start sprouting Shakespeare when pigs fly and Hell host the winter olympics.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jayne! Try not to steal too much of their shit.

LADYKNIGHT

Sunday, February 12, 2006 2:59 AM

Wish me luck...I'm trying to find some rational explanations for situations, maybe mini-fics, in which they say some of these. Watch for them in the future! Meantime...

Jayne: Oh man...what's that guard gonna say when he figures out I snuck a gun in here? Best hand it in right away.

Kaylee: Simon, you are a sad, scary little man.

River: Well...I'm the biggest...SO THERE!

***

Edited for -

O.K., I did it, mini-scenerios of when they might say some of my favorites from this list...

---

(Simon is trying to talk to Kaylee, who is clearly not listening, but working. Responding just with “yeah”s and “mhummm”s, and finally, to get her attention…)
Simon: Kaylee, I think I'm in love with Jayne.
Kaylee: Fine with me. Up for a threesome?
(beat)
Kaylee: You are so gullable!

(Simon and Kaylee walk into a store, where an old lady waits behind the counter)
Old lady: (to Kaylee) Hello, may I help you?
Kaylee: Yeah, I’m lookin’ for…
Old lady nods, then, to Simon…
Old Lady: And your brother?
Simon immidently feels a bit akward…
Simon: This is not my sister.

Jayne: Jayne is a girl's name. (repeats, mockingly, twice.)
WILL PEOPLE STOP GORRAM SAYING THAT?

Mal: The nice thing about not being puritanical about sex is not being uncomfortable when someone else has it.
Beat
Or so Inara says.

Wash: Sometimes I think you don't take me seriously.
(While playing with his dinosaurs with a soap-opera plot)

Visiting a different whore-house, trying to cheer up an upset Kaylee.
Jayne: Look, they got boy whores! – AND they service womenfolk.

Wash: "I feel bad for you, Jayne. Want some tea and ice for the bruise?" - um…sarcasm?

(Kaylee and River are arguing loudly, but indecipherably, finally, Kaylee turns to Mal)
Kaylee: Cap’n, who’s right?
Mal: Ummmm…as she’s…kinda physic, I gotta go with River on this one.
Kaylee: She wants us to cut the percentage we spend on food in half.
Mal: "My God! I was on the wrong side!"
(Kaylee smirks smugly, River sticks her tongue out)

(struggling through it)
JAYNE: Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune...
(Throws down copy of “Hamlet”)
What am I readin’ this for?

DRPAIN

Sunday, February 12, 2006 5:52 AM

Jayne: I'm thinking of trading Vera in for something smaller.

Jayne: Does this holster make my butt look fat?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WWJD: What Would Jayne Do?

AGENTROUKA

Sunday, February 12, 2006 6:14 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by LadyKnight:
(struggling through it)
JAYNE: Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune...
(Throws down copy of “Hamlet”)
What am I readin’ this for?

Bwaha! These are hilarious!

Could you possibly make more of these? *g*

BELOWZERO

Monday, February 13, 2006 6:00 AM

*gasping for breath* ROTFLMAO!!!!

More! More! More!

"Do not go gentle into that good night....
Rage, rage against the dying of the light. . ."
--Dylan Thomas

Though my soul may set in darkness
It will rise in perfect light.
I have loved the stars too fondly
To be fearful of the night.

TENTHCREWMEMBER

Monday, February 13, 2006 6:19 AM

Mal: I need some baggy sweatpants...these tightpants are cuttin' off my circulation!

Zoe: Does this dress make me look fat?
Wash: Yes. Enormous even.

Wash: I'm the best at flying there ever was. Landing, not so much.

Jayne: I'd like to get married...to a nice girl.

River: I think I want to have more unecessary brain surgery.

Book: Mal, about your father...I'm him. Y'know. In the non-biblical sense. As in, I diddled your mother...who, by the way, is a fine piece of apple pie, if you get my meaning *wink*

Simon: I am only fwee and a haff yeas owld...bbblbbblbblbbbblblbbb!

Inara: C'mon, Ath, ugly me up...if you're man enough! Or don't you have that legendary stamina I've heard of? *gets smacked* OOOH! Yeah, that's the way. First I give you a black mark in the Registry and now *get smacked again and licks the blood from her own lip* mmmm...you give me black marks...do it again, baby!

Kaylee: So, Shepherd, Jayne tells me you are "more or less intact"...I'm hoping it is "more" *sound of unzipping*

Joss: So, [insert a FOX exec here], I've got another idea for a show...

Bester: I fixed it.

Badger: Malcolm Reynolds...big. tough. veteran...PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!!! IT ISN'T MY FAULT! THEY MADE ME DO IT! I'LL PAY YOU TRIPLE FOR THE CARGO! I PROMISE! Just ple-ee-ee-eease don't kill me, okay? Buddy? Pal? errr ummm...Partner? I mean...BOSS! Yes, you're the boss now. Boss of me, of them...Boss o' the Worlds, I say!

Reaver: Oh, I say! All this raping and eating of folk is bad form.

Commander Harken: No mandatory registration markings...blow 'em apart! FIRE!
1st Officer: Uh, commander, this is a medical frigate.

Elder Gommen: Would you check out the rack on Saffron! Dude, you are so lucky we don't have coin and have to pay you with food, wine and sex slaves...oh, by the way, while you were bombed on rice wine, you married her, but it ain't so bad. 2 words: golfball...gardenhose...*nudge nudge wink wink*

Crow: Nah, that's cool. Niska will understand. Hey, wanna get a beer? Maybe shoot some pool?

Tracey: Well, its kinda complicated. I'm really Womack's mail-order bride.

Hands of Blue: You spoke to the prisoners? Well, were just gonna have to extract that information from you, which is why *broad smile & a chuckle* we wear these shiny blue rubber gloves. Please turn around, drop your drawers and grab your ankles...

Serenity: Oxygen level at...oh, to hell with it...your gonna die, purple, bloated and in a fetal position. Maybe next time the cute mechanic says "replace the crappy compression coil" you'll do it, huh? Oh wait, you won't because Oxygen level at...

BWAH!
TCM

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*Avail yourself of my trade!
Original Firefly T-shirts, posters, mugs and more at:
http://www.cafepress.com/10thcrew
*Download my Firefly Games for FREE at http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=13&t=12622
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In or near Ohio? Join us!
http://p097.ezboard.com/bohiofireflyfans
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/firefly-ohio

ETHAN

Monday, February 13, 2006 6:58 AM

Mal, "Like to buy you dinner myself I ever see you again..."

The Operative, "I'm sorry did I say this isn't over? It's over!"

ANOBJECTINSPACE

Monday, February 13, 2006 10:48 AM

Simon: "Sex"

.....
"It's just an Object"

ASARIAN

Monday, February 13, 2006 11:31 AM

Okay, just a few to keep this boat floating.

Kaylee: The term is "whore".

Early: Am I Alliance?

River: Dress me up like a gorram doll!

--
"Mei-mei, everything I have is right here." -- Simon Tam

BELLONA

Monday, February 13, 2006 3:18 PM

hows about these:

saffron: i love you mal...
patience: hands off, bitch! he's mine!
badger: now ladies, i'm sure we can all share...

mal: dear father, who art in heaven...

jayne: (sings) i feel pretty! oh, so pretty! i feel pretty and witty and gay!

simon: uh, anybody know where this goes? [holds up random, but probably important, internal organ]

river: i do take thee badger to be my lawful wedded husband

***

that's all i got for now, but i'll be back...eventually.

b

"i'm getting a powerful energy emission..."
my other coat is brown.
http://www.myspace.com/callahan_faerie

GUTTERBALL

Monday, February 13, 2006 5:14 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by TenthCrewMember:
Bester: I fixed it.

Bwahahah! Nice!

Quote:
Reaver: Oh, I say! All this raping and eating of folk is bad form.

British accent, anyone? Brilliant, TCM!

Mal: You know, this whole Independent thing is way overrated. I think I'll become a boy whore.

Jayne: *tosses Vera to a purple-belly* I've had better.

Kaylee: I'm depressed.

Inara: There's not enough money in companioning. I think I'll take up sturgeon-related activities.

Simon: Jayne, I find you an intellectual peer and a damn fine man. Not to mention a snazzy dresser. Why can't we be friends?

Book: *sings* Her name is Rio and she dances in the sand!

Zoe: *to Wash* I only married you for your money.

Wash: Where are my Grizwalds? Lamby-toes? Did you take my Grizwalds??

________________________________________

Please remember that the 9:30 show is completely different from the 7:30 show. Don't forget to tip your waitress.

DRINDELL

Monday, February 13, 2006 9:44 PM

Jayne: Do you have this in crotch flavor?

Mal: Ok, lets just vote on it.

GIXXER

Monday, February 13, 2006 11:11 PM

River: Damn. Missed...

and

Keep walkin', Reiver Man.

DC4BS

Monday, February 13, 2006 11:53 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by GutterBall:
Quote:
Reaver: Oh, I say! All this raping and eating of folk is bad form.

British accent, anyone? Brilliant, TCM!

Reaver: Right! Shall I just go and have a bit of a lie-down then? Just come round and knock me up later on.

------------------------------------------
dc4bs

VIOLETRIX

Tuesday, February 14, 2006 12:26 AM

this thread is great. effin' hilarious.

____________________________________________________
that is *so* funny.

http://violetrix.blogspot.com
if i ever kill you, you'll be awake, you'll be facing me, and you'll be armed.

SPACEMANSPIFF

Tuesday, February 14, 2006 4:00 AM

Joss: I think I'll give this show a happy ending...

Did he just go crazy and fall asleep?

KITCH

Tuesday, February 14, 2006 4:35 AM

Things Mal would never say, how bout "let's get it on!!!!!" anyone? besides Nandi? ....whatever, Nandi rules!!

NANDIFAN

Tuesday, February 14, 2006 5:13 AM

Book: *sings* Her name is Rio and she dances in the sand!

Awesome visual! Book doing Simon Lebon, gotta love the Duran Duran!

"If they've got guns or brains at all."
"They've got guns."

BELOWZERO

Wednesday, February 15, 2006 5:04 AM

Thanks so much for that visual of Book doing Duran Duran, now I have to go clean the diet dr pepper out of my keyboard and yes, if you laugh hard enough, soda really will come out your nose. :P

Mal: Come on, Inara, enough games. Let's go get a room.

Mal: Jayne, you're in charge.

River: Simon, you total idiot, I LOVED it at the Academy!

Kaylee: I've decided to become Mrs. Atherton Wing and get more mileage out of this fluffy dress.

"Do not go gentle into that good night....
Rage, rage against the dying of the light. . ."
--Dylan Thomas

Though my soul may set in darkness
It will rise in perfect light.
I have loved the stars too fondly
To be fearful of the night.

CHINDI

Thursday, February 16, 2006 3:15 AM

resurecting this thread...

"I quit"

nope never gonna hear that..

Chindi misbehaving again

GUTTERBALL

Thursday, February 16, 2006 3:24 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by BelowZero:
Mal: Jayne, you're in charge.

Oh, but wouldn't that be shiny! In Jayne's own words, "That'll be an interesting day."

Jayne: "Celibacy, huh? Well, that don't sound so bad."

________________________________________

Please remember that the 9:30 show is completely different from the 7:30 show. Don't forget to tip your waitress.

CHINDI

Thursday, February 16, 2006 4:31 AM

LMAO thanks Gutterball ,, that was pretty danged funny!

Chindi

TENTHCREWMEMBER

Saturday, February 18, 2006 1:42 PM

Simon: Actually, I'm gay.
He'll make us *think* it, but he'll never say it!

Ruby: ANYTHING at all

Commander Harken: Actually, I believe in Reavers and I'm a Browncoat sympathizer, you're free to go. Oh! And tell that wacky pilot of yours that yes, I have been with a warrior woman...

Captain of the Walden: I've already decided, I'm taking that shiny blue box in the corner, the one full of oval ball bearings.

Jayne: Sorry, but I'm loyal to Marco *BANG! BANG!*

Book: Yeah, but what has God done for me lately?

Saffron: I was gonna steal your ship, but now that I see you swell to be inside me, I'm kinda likin' the idea...you said you grew up on a ranch, right? *sly smile*

River: Alliance cut on my brain, enhanced my psychic ability tenfold, taught me to kick ass and sneak about like a ninja, so frankly a little mental unstability is a fair trade off, don't you think?

Simon: Eta kooram nah schmoo...damn...eta kooram nah smile!...aw hell...eta kooram not smack...gorramit! Why can't I say 'eta kooram nah smech'!? Oh! Hey, it worked!

Simon: Eta kooram nah smech! What the?!? It didn't work! They double-crozzzzzzzzzz...*thump*

Inara: Ew! Sex is icky!
Kaylee: Yeah! Icky! Boys is gross!

BWAH!
TCM

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*Avail yourself of my trade!
Original Firefly T-shirts, posters, mugs and more at:
http://www.cafepress.com/10thcrew
*Download my Firefly Games for FREE at
http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=13&t=12622
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In or near Ohio? Join us!
http://p097.ezboard.com/bohiofireflyfans
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/firefly-ohio

SERENITYSLITTLEANGEL

Saturday, February 18, 2006 7:18 PM

Inara: I just can't be bothered to look pretty today. Make-up?? Who cares?

Mal (in shipyard): Urg! Forget that piece of go se Firefly - I'm going with the shiny new yellow one.

Zoe: Wash? I want a divorce. This thing just isn't working out.
Wash: I'm just glad you said it first. I've been miserable for months.
Jayne: Wash, can I marry Zoe instead?? I'll trade yah all my guns and grenades. Violence is so overrated.

----------------------------------
19 conversions and counting!!!

MIRAMEL

Saturday, February 18, 2006 7:53 PM

river: inara, can i barrow your make-up?

any of us: screw it, i give up. it wasn't that good anyway

wash: i wonder what these three swithces do, anyway

ELOISA

Sunday, February 19, 2006 10:01 AM

Kaylee: "Wash, tell me I'm pretty..."
Wash: "Um... you're not my type at all so I can't really make an objective assessment -"
Kaylee: *thwaps him*

***
http://forums.ffonline.com/forumdisplay.php?f=19
Creative Writing

ASARIAN

Tuesday, February 21, 2006 4:46 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Miramel:

wash: i wonder what these three swithces do, anyway

Good one! :)

--
"Mei-mei, everything I have is right here." -- Simon Tam

ASARIAN

Tuesday, February 21, 2006 4:51 PM

Just thought of another one:

Early's midget: "Don't light it!"

--
"Mei-mei, everything I have is right here." -- Simon Tam

SINGATE

Tuesday, February 21, 2006 5:50 PM

Simon: "Wanna get liquoured up, go on a shooting spree, and finish with some whorin?"
Jayne: "Nah I simply must finish this fine meal I'm preparing for the crew. Oh dear, who's been messin with my spice rack?"

Mal: "Anyone up for some breakdancin." Proceeds to do the robot.

Kaylee: "Wow, now that I that I've taken a good look at her Serenity really is a piece of crap."

River: "Back when I was in school they put me a little, yellow bus and told me I was 'special'."

Book: "Which one of you fools smoked my entire stash?"

Zoe: "I had the weirdest dream about being married to a guy just like Wash in a former life. I think his best friend was some guy named Hercules."

Wash: "Honey I'm really tired of floral shirts and jumpsuits, can I please get my old pimp outfits out of storage?"

Saffron: "Guys stop laughin, I really am a virgin!"

Early: "This week on Masterpiece Theatre..."

Niska: "Once I retire from this life of crime I can finally indulge in my true passion: frollicking naked in a meadow with duckies and bunnies."

_________________________________________________

We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far.

SERENITYSLITTLEANGEL

Wednesday, February 22, 2006 2:25 PM

Quote:
Niska: "Once I retire from this life of crime I can finally indulge in my true passion: frollicking naked in a meadow with duckies and bunnies."

Can't... stop... laughing...

Book: *announces to crew* I've decided to become an atheist. God just doesn't exist. (pause) Anyone want to look at my bible before I throw it out of the airlock??

---------------------------------
19 conversions and counting!!!

FIREFLYFAN278

Wednesday, February 22, 2006 3:32 PM

Kaylee: "Not now Simon, I have a headache."

Sure she will. Just a few short weeks after they get married.

VTBROWNCOAT

Wednesday, February 22, 2006 3:59 PM

Book: I'll be in my bunk.

Zoe: Everyone come eat, supper's ready.

Mal (to Zoe): You're fired.

Jayne (to Simon): Got any Viagra?

Simon (to River): BOO!

"We always hoped you two kids would
get together....... who is she?" Wash in Our Mrs. Reynolds.

TENTHCREWMEMBER

Wednesday, February 22, 2006 3:59 PM

Mal: The Alliance said they were gonna waltz through Serenity Valley, and we...just oughta let 'em. Really, what is here worth fighting for? Some rocks, some scrub?

Simon: Zoe, could you hand me the uhh...pointy thingy with the shiny handle...whaddya call it?
Zoe: Scalpel.
Simon: Yeah, that and the clampy thingy with the stuff on it.
Zoe: Uh, a clamp?
Simon: Yeah. Now, where is the bullet?
Zoe: Um, aren't we treating a laser burn?
Simon: NOOOoooo...oh, yeah. How do I do that again?

Wash: Seriously, Mal, the engines just fell off, we're all gonna die. I can't save us this time. Which reminds me, you're a pompus self-centered arrogant jerk with delusions of grandeur *BANG!* Man, I have been waiting to do that!
Mal: Very funny, Wash. Out of the flight simulator now, and live up to your nickname...you got latrine duty...for a month.

Atherton Wing (drunk): Look at me! I'm NEKKID! *swings shirt overhead stripper style* WOOO!

Jayne: Do ya think we should be smackin' em? Won't them PETR folks be on us? I mean, cows is nice creatures, creatures of God, right Shepherd?
Book: I don't give half a hump if they're creatures of the night, so long as they taste good on my plate...speakin' o which, you look rather BEEFY, Jayne. *smacks lips*

Nandi: Sex? How barbaric. Could I interest you in a game of chess instead?

Reaver Attack Survivor: Duuuude! Guess what I saw? It was all, like, Night of the Living Dead and totally gruesome! Radical fleshfeast!

Jayne: Let me buy you a (insert anything here).

Inara: I've been thinking, sturgeon gutting, while not glamorous, would be steady work.

Reaver: Hi! I'm Bob. I'll be your personal cannibal this evening. Would you prefer to be served with a red or white wine?

BWAH!
TCM

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*Avail yourself of my trade!
Original Firefly T-shirts, posters, mugs and more at:
http://www.cafepress.com/10thcrew
*Download my Firefly Games for FREE at
http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=13&t=12622
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In or near Ohio? Join us!
http://p097.ezboard.com/bohiofireflyfans
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/firefly-ohio

FIREFLYFAN278

Wednesday, February 22, 2006 4:08 PM

Reaver: Hi! I'm Bob. I'll be your personal cannibal this evening. Would you prefer to be served with a red or white wine?

Bwah, hah, hah, hah, hah, hah, hah, . . . . .

ROFLMAO

JEDICOWBOY

Wednesday, February 22, 2006 4:53 PM

Early: (nothing at all)

The Operative: I dont really care, do whatever you wish.

Jayne: I'm going to join a religious order where we dont have sex OR masturbate.

River: Oh I get it! the Bible makes perfect sense!

Jayne: (Insert intelligent comment here)

The Force is strong with these browncoats.

JEDICOWBOY

Wednesday, February 22, 2006 5:38 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Nandifan:

Book: *sings* Her name is Rio and she dances in the sand!

Awesome visual! Book doing Simon Lebon, gotta love the Duran Duran!

"If they've got guns or brains at all."
"They've got guns."

gorramit......now I got that song in my head.

The Force is strong with these browncoats.

GRIZWALD

Wednesday, February 22, 2006 5:44 PM

Ooh! Ooh! I've got one!

Inara: No, no, really, stay frub be. I'be got a terrible head code and I dodt wadt to bake you sick. I'be just goigg to stay in bed with by fladdel jabbies and the hubidifier on. Achoo!

LANCER

Wednesday, February 22, 2006 5:54 PM

Blue Handed guy one: Oh you interrogated them for us? thanks!

Blue Handed guy two: honestly it makes our work load so much easyer!

Figures - first time in the Core, and what do I get to do? Dig through trash. Why couldn't he send me shopping at the Tri-plex, or... Ooh! Synchronizers!

CAPTAINSHINY

Wednesday, February 22, 2006 6:38 PM

Wash: No, Jayne, I meant "congress" as in a general meeting or assembly. I believe you must be thinking specifically of the bicameral lawmaking body of the legislative branch.

Inara: Let's skip the foreplay, shall we?

Simon:(burp)

Inara:[nervously] No! It's just a cold sore! I swear!

Jayne: Omigod omigod omigod! I just LOVE what you've done with your hair!

Wash: Just kidding! I'm OK! Now, as I was saying, I'm a leaf on the wind, watch how i soar.

Mal: Father, forgive me, for I have sinned.

Kaylee: Ew, yicky! Engine grease!

Simon: 'Sup, b*tches!

-Stay Shiny
"The people who made the show, and the people who saw the show, which is roughly the same number of people, fell in love with it, a little bit too much to let it go, too much to lay down arms when when the battle looked pretty much lost. In Hollywood, people like that are called unrealistic, quixotic, obsessive... In my world, they're called Browncoats."
-Joss Whedon

JPSTARGAZER

Wednesday, February 22, 2006 6:38 PM

Here's a few more:

Simon: Besides, every other woman on the ship is either married, a professional, or closely related to me, so you're pretty much the only girl in the world.
Kaylee: You're so right! We're soulmates! We've got 3 minutes left in the booth...(bow shika bow wow...that's porn music by the way).

Academy guy: Well unfortunately I didn't bring a sword today.
Operative (reaching for his sword): Well...awww, I didn't either. Must be in my other Operative outfit.

Mr. Universe: Wow, I've been at my computer all day. Maybe I should go outside and get some sun.

Zoe: First rule of battle, little one, is never let the enemy know where you are.
(Camera pans across Zoe and Tracy to show Mal sitting next to them)
Tracy (finally notices Mal): Where did you come from?
Mal: Aww, I wanted to steal your beans.

"All I got is a red guitar, three chords, and the truth...the rest is up to you"
--Bono

CAPTAINSHINY

Wednesday, February 22, 2006 6:44 PM

Kaylee: Simon! Watch your language!

Dr. Mathias: Um... my bad.

-Stay Shiny
"The people who made the show, and the people who saw the show, which is roughly the same number of people, fell in love with it, a little bit too much to let it go, too much to lay down arms when when the battle looked pretty much lost. In Hollywood, people like that are called unrealistic, quixotic, obsessive... In my world, they're called Browncoats."
-Joss Whedon

LADYKNIGHT

Saturday, February 25, 2006 9:22 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by singate:

Zoe: "I had the weirdest dream about being married to a guy just like Wash in a former life. I think his best friend was some guy named Hercules."

B]

LOL! Now there's a fun mental immage to play with. Zoe and Iolaus. *blinks* O.K., maybe not.

CHINDI

Saturday, February 25, 2006 9:54 PM

Nathan, Adam, Summer, Morena, Joss, Ron, Alan, Jewel, Gina, Sean:

"Ya know.. I am tired of this series.. I don't want to do it anymore...."

Chindi NEVER gonna hear that....

ASARIAN

Sunday, February 26, 2006 4:57 AM

Just a few to keep the thread bumped.

[EDIT: took out a lame River quote; Jayne quote alone is just fine]

Jayne: I can kill you with my brain!

--
"Mei-mei, everything I have is right here." -- Simon Tam

GUTTERBALL

Sunday, February 26, 2006 5:13 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by asarian:
Jayne: I can kill you with my brain!

*snort* Nice one, A. As much as I adore the big lug, we all know THAT ain't gonna happen.

Badger: I envy your hat, Jayne. Fancy a trade?

River: Hukked awn foniks werkd fur m3!

Simon: @$(&@#&*!!

Book: @$(&@#*!!

Inara: You're right, Mal. I AM an ignorant slut.

Jayne: Who's up for a poetry reading? No? How's about a philosophical study of the importance of shadow puppets?

Mal: Yo-ho, yo-ho! A Reaver's life for me!

Kaylee: I hate my captain. He's a mean old man.

Zoe: This dress isn't frilly enough. More ruffles, damn you!

Wash: There's a red...thingy...coming toward the green...thingy. I think we're the green thingy.

________________________________________

Please remember that the 9:30 show is completely different from the 7:30 show. Don't forget to tip your waitress.

ELEKA

Sunday, February 26, 2006 5:17 AM

Zoe: Husband, I don't want you to tear my clothes off right now, or in five minutes, or every again you understand.

Simon: Everyone, I've decided to leave River here on Serenity and take up my dream career as a Drag Queen.

Jayne: I'll be leaving the ship as well to persure my dreams of being a pacifist monk on the Outer Rim.

Mr. Universe: Sory guys, I guess you CAN stop the signal after all!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jayne! Try not to steal too much of their shit.

ASARIAN

Sunday, February 26, 2006 10:20 AM

Simon: Am I talking to Miranda now?
River: Yes.

Simon: River, let's get married! I'll knit.

River: The human body can be drained in 7... No, wait! Or was it 8? Oh forget it! It just can be drained, ok?!

River: Was it my turn? Oops!

--
"Mei-mei, everything I have is right here." -- Simon Tam