Worst Firefly Cast

POSTED BY: ThePistonEngine
UPDATED: Wednesday, March 1, 2006 02:34
VIEWED: 21406
PAGE 1 of 1

THEPISTONENGINE

Sunday, February 26, 2006 11:47 PM

What would the worst Firefly cast be?

Here are my thoughts:
Mal - Keanu Reeves
Inara - Winona Ryder
River - Reese Witherspoon
Simon - Arnold Schwarzenegger
Zoe - Queen Latifa
Wash - Kenneth Branagh
Kaylee - Christina Ricci
Book - Al Sharpton
Jayne - Orlando Bloom

One other thought, how good of an operative would Juaquin Phoenix make?

HOEPERATIVE

Sunday, February 26, 2006 11:52 PM

Phoenix WOULD rock in that part, no doubt about it.

Hmm. I'd say casting Nick Cage as Mal would've ruined everything. Al Pacino as Shepherd also.

KHYRON

Monday, February 27, 2006 12:03 AM

Jayne - Steven Segal
Simon - Rick Moranis
Mal - Ben Affleck/Bill Pullman
Inara - Fran Drescher/Katey Segal ("Oh Maaa-AAAaall")
Book - Clint Eastwood
Kaylee - Jaime Pressly/Tara Reid
River - Lindsay Lohan
Zoe - Janet Jackson
Wash - Robin Williams

ASARIAN

Monday, February 27, 2006 12:03 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by HOEperative:

Phoenix WOULD rock in that part, no doubt about it.

Ok, I'm a little pre-occupied; you say "phoenix", and I *still* think: "River"! :)

--
"Mei-mei, everything I have is right here." -- Simon Tam

THEPISTONENGINE

Monday, February 27, 2006 12:03 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by HOEperative:
Phoenix WOULD rock in that part, no doubt about it.

Hmm. I'd say casting Nick Cage as Mal would've ruined everything. Al Pacino as Shepherd also.

Ugh! Good call on Nicholas Cage. Makes me shudder.

RUXTON

Monday, February 27, 2006 12:44 AM

Nice one, Khyron. I do so hate Fran Drescher.

Hafta say, you and ThePistonEngine are righteously quite ILL!

Too bad we all don't have something better to do, like comment on the new series/movie, etc.

Good laugh, guys/gals. Thanks.

RUXTON

Monday, February 27, 2006 1:07 AM

My choices:

Mal -- Peewee Herman
Zoe -- Eric Idle in drag
Wash -- Jack Nicholson
Jayne -- Alec Baldwin
Book -- Eddie Murphy
Kaylee -- Oprah Winfrey
Simon -- Stacy Keach
River -- Pam Anderson
Inara -- Paris Hilton

GUTTERBALL

Monday, February 27, 2006 1:24 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Ruxton:
Jayne -- Alec Baldwin

Ha! Can't you just hear him? "There are things in here that don't react well to bullets."

Quote:
Book -- Eddie Murphy

"Evil...is GOOD!"

Quote:
Inara -- Paris Hilton

"Um, yeah, this sex gig is totally hot."

Ha! Nice list, Ruxton! I'd be hard-pressed to come up with better, so I'll just praise you and move on!

________________________________________

Please remember that the 9:30 show is completely different from the 7:30 show. Don't forget to tip your waitress.

DONCOAT

Monday, February 27, 2006 1:39 AM

Just a couple ideas, no full cast yet:

Inara: Divine
Simon: Don Knotts

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I don't disagree on any particular point.

DATALESS

Monday, February 27, 2006 1:56 AM

The Worst Firefly Cast would be anyone but the cast we had. They were really amazing. Plus I think Don Knotts is dead, so yeah he would be the worst performance as Simon. I think they would have went a different way in Serenity Kaylee kissing someone all cropsified and gross might destory her mind.

KHYRON

Monday, February 27, 2006 2:10 AM

The worst thing is, had any one of the people we've mentioned actually been cast as that character, the movie probably would've done better at the box office.

SIGMANUNKI

Monday, February 27, 2006 2:40 AM

How about Tom Arnold for Mal?

----
"We're in a giant car heading into a brick wall at 100 miles/hr and everybody's arguing about where they want to sit."
-David Suzuki

GUTTERBALL

Monday, February 27, 2006 2:51 AM

Oo, ooo! How about Jean Claude Van Damn for Badger? Bwahahah!

________________________________________

Please remember that the 9:30 show is completely different from the 7:30 show. Don't forget to tip your waitress.

QUIXOTIC

Monday, February 27, 2006 2:59 AM

Pauly Shore is Malcolm Reynolds.

"We've done the impossible, and that makes us mighty, buuuuuuddy."

Yeah, and if wishes were horses we'd all be eating steak.

KHYRON

Monday, February 27, 2006 3:21 AM

The Operative - Jim Carrey.

"Sir, they've disappeared..."
"Reea-ea-ea-eaaalllyy?"

GUTTERBALL

Monday, February 27, 2006 4:20 AM

*cracks right the hell up*

You guys are KILLING me!

________________________________________

Please remember that the 9:30 show is completely different from the 7:30 show. Don't forget to tip your waitress.

THEPISTONENGINE

Monday, February 27, 2006 4:25 AM

That's hysterical!

Quote:
Originally posted by Khyron:
The Operative - Jim Carrey.

"Sir, they've disappeared..."
"Reea-ea-ea-eaaalllyy?"

KAYNA

Monday, February 27, 2006 4:31 AM

Mal - Chris Rock
River - Beyonce
Simon - Antonio Banderas
Kaylee - Jessica Simpson
Jayne - Sylvester Stallone
Zoe - Callista Flockhart
Wash - Christopher Walken
Inara - (insert bleach blond bimbo with breast implants here)

JUSTSHINY

Monday, February 27, 2006 4:38 AM

Wow, this is probably the scariest, funniest, weirdest....scariest thread I've ever seen.

And, In all honesty, it's really disturbing my calm.

But it did tickle my funny bone so I can't complain...much.

KHYRON

Monday, February 27, 2006 4:51 AM

Inara - Rebecca Gayheart.

And it almost happened.

ZAKNRFAMA

Monday, February 27, 2006 4:57 AM

Jayne - Sean Connery
Adelei Iforgotlastname - Mr. T or Eugene Levy
Wash - Owen Wilson
Zoe - Gary Coleman
Simon - George Clooney
Book - Richard Pryor

THEPISTONENGINE

Monday, February 27, 2006 4:59 AM

Owen Wilson wouldn't make the WORST Wash. He'd be better than most I can think of.

Quote:
Originally posted by Zaknrfama:
Jayne - Sean Connery
Adelei Iforgotlastname - Mr. T
Wash - Owen Wilson
Zoe - Gary Coleman
Simon - George Clooney

ZAKNRFAMA

Monday, February 27, 2006 5:01 AM

Oh, well I'm sure there are worse. But I think Wash's sense of humor is too odd for Owen Wilson.

FREELANCEPILOT

Monday, February 27, 2006 5:11 AM

No no no.

Mal: My buddy nick. Terrible.
Inara: The girl that sits next to me in US congress.
Kaylee: My korean Professor.
Simon: my buddy Adam... frat guy
River: My ex
Wash: My grandfather.
Jayne: The wendy's Guy, from www.thewendysguy.com
Zoe: My spanish Professor Memoria Jones
Book: My parish priest, Father Raj. (i can't spell the rest.)

Wash: Yeah, but psychic? That sounds like science fiction.
Zoë: You live on a spaceship, dear.
Wash: So?

MONGO

Monday, February 27, 2006 5:18 AM

mal: tom cruise

KHYRON

Monday, February 27, 2006 5:59 AM

Book - Bill Cosby.

MELAM

Monday, February 27, 2006 6:00 AM

Mal: Brad Pit
Zoe: Halie Berry
Wash: Heath Ledger
Simon: Adam Sandler
Book: Will Smith
Jayne: The Rock
Inara: The freaky blond woman from Transporter 2.
Kaylee: Kate Winslet
River: Mary Kate Olsen

"Putting the Me in Mercinary, Jayne Cobb."

"Joss, what is the future of television? What will we watch? And how will we watch it? Surely you must know, for you are wise, and slender."

HOIDY

Monday, February 27, 2006 6:30 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Dataless:
The Worst Firefly Cast would be anyone but the cast we had. They were really amazing.

I totally agree. the cast is what makes the series/movie so awesome!

RUXTON

Monday, February 27, 2006 6:37 AM

Kayna,

Stallone as Jayne really cracked me up. "Yo! Uunnhhh!", said Rambo.

And Christopher Walken as Wash, and Flockhart as Zoe. Excellent miscastings!

RUXTON

Monday, February 27, 2006 6:39 AM

GutterBall,
Thank 'ee kindly!

JYNNANTONNYX

Monday, February 27, 2006 7:53 AM

I delurk to say

River - Jessica Alba

And I think that is all I need to say. ... Summer would kick her arse anyday though

ETHAN

Monday, February 27, 2006 8:06 AM

Rob Morrow-Mal
Richard Lewis-Wash
Tracy Morgan-Zoe
Larry David-Wash
Amy Pohler-Inara
Jodie Foster-Kaylee
Will Ferrel-Jayne
David Cross-Simon
Nathan Fillion-River

special guests :

Conan O'brian-Atherton Wing
Richard Geer-Jubal Early
Ricardo Montivan-Niska
Madonna-Badger
Avril Lavigne-YoSafBrij
Rupert Everett-Nandi

SINGATE

Monday, February 27, 2006 9:14 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Zaknrfama:
Zoe - Gary Coleman

Holy frickin God you have to be kidding me! I've been laughing so hard at this I almost popped out a contact lens.

I also liked whoever posted Christopher Walken as Wash. Just imagine his delivery coupled with some of that goofy dialogue.

The most bizarre choice I came up with has to be Chris Farley as Mal. I know he's not around anymore but just picture it.

_________________________________________________

We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far.

MSCKAREN

Monday, February 27, 2006 12:11 PM

Mal - George W Bush
Inara - Bernie Frank
River - Hillary Clinton
Simon - Robert Bork
Zoe - Condeleeza Rice
Wash - Al Gore
Kaylee - Arnold Schwarzanegger (sp?)
Book - Clarence Thomas
Jayne - Tony Blair

...actually I would probably pay MORE to see these people reenact OMR than the original cast...make it for charity...yeah, yeah, a CHILDREN'S charity!...people will do anything for a children's charity...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Appears they've cancelled the show and we're still here. What does that make us?"
"Big damn junkies, Sir!"
"Ain't we just."
http://karenallover.blogspot.com/

SERENITYSLITTLEANGEL

Monday, February 27, 2006 2:45 PM

Is it bad I'm desperate to see Arnie in Kaylee's floral dress / teddy bear overalls???

------------------------------------
20 conversions and counting!!!

KIDREGAL

Monday, February 27, 2006 3:01 PM

I love all the suggestions, but I've got one question, dear friends: How is it possible that no one, NO ONE, suggested the best possible male actor for any role, male OR female....

William Shatner!

C'mon...think about it...let it grow and fester in your mind...

"We're just...too pretty..."

I've ridden the great moon worm!
-Al Gore

OTMA

Monday, February 27, 2006 3:16 PM

Mal - Bruce Campbell
Inara - Courtney Love
River - Barbara Streisand
Simon - Elton John
Zoe - Martin Lawrence in the fat suit from Big Momma's House
Wash - Hulk Hogan
Kaylee - Dame Judi Dench
Book - Shaquille O'Neal
Jayne - Woody Allen

And, of course, the Oompa Loompas from the 1971 Gene Wilder Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory as Reavers!

UNREGISTEREDCOMPANION

Monday, February 27, 2006 3:21 PM

I think this is the worst of the worst. Don't know if this makes me a genius or just sick! Bwaah haa haa haa!

Simon: Leonardo De Caprio
River: Jennifer Love Hewit
Mal: Russell Crowe
Inara: Marcia Cross (The weird redhead from Desperate Housewives)
Zoe: Jennifer Lopez
Wash: Kato Kaylin (O.J.'s former groupie)
Jayne: Seann William Scott (the guy who plyed Stufler in American Pie)
Book: Jessie Jackson

~~~~~
"Funny and sexy. You have no idea. And you never will."

DICKYBOY3001

Monday, February 27, 2006 3:22 PM

If you really wanna stuff things up, put in some Old school WWF characters

mal - hulk hogan
jayne - ultimate warrior
etc etc

now that would be %&^@ed up

ALEN

Monday, February 27, 2006 3:43 PM

Shatner - ROFL!!!!
:)))))
And imagine him as a captain, lol
"Men...you hold...hold... till I...get back..."

shirst would have to be ripped in fights, and the firefly crew would be in pajamas :D

if life were a Lucasarts adventure:
Use CHAINSAW on BOSS. PULL CORPSE. OPEN WASTE DISPOSAL UNIT. USE CORPSE on UNIT. CLOSE DOOR.
USE LIGHTER on CIGARE

GIXXER

Monday, February 27, 2006 3:45 PM

Not the worst cast. Just maybe not the youngest...

Mal: George Peppard
Wash: Dwight Schultz
Book: Mr T
Simon: Dirk Benedict
Zoe: Claudia Black
River: Gigi Edgley
Inara: Claudia Black again
Kaylee: Say, hows about that Claudia Black?
Jayne: Jason Isaacs

This did start out as a crap / unsuitable / hardly worth the name actor list, but I'm feeling mellow today. I'll settle for a goes-without-saying unuseable cast composed of worthwhile folk.

G

My dear, I've kicked more ass than you've sat on. (Zhaan)

RIVER6213

Monday, February 27, 2006 3:52 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by ThePistonEngine:
What would the worst Firefly cast be?

Here are my thoughts:
Mal - Keanu Reeves
Inara - Winona Ryder
River - Reese Witherspoon
Simon - Arnold Schwarzenegger
Zoe - Queen Latifa
Wash - Kenneth Branagh
Kaylee - Christina Ricci
Book - Al Sharpton
Jayne - Orlando Bloom

One other thought, how good of an operative would Juaquin Phoenix make?

You should be shot for this list.

RIVER6213

Monday, February 27, 2006 3:53 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Khyron:
Jayne - Steven Segal
Simon - Rick Moranis
Mal - Ben Affleck/Bill Pullman
Inara - Fran Drescher/Katey Segal ("Oh Maaa-AAAaall")
Book - Clint Eastwood
Kaylee - Jaime Pressly/Tara Reid
River - Lindsay Lohan
Zoe - Janet Jackson
Wash - Robin Williams

OMG! Were you an abused child?

RIVER6213

Monday, February 27, 2006 3:54 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Ruxton:
My choices:

Mal -- Peewee Herman
Zoe -- Eric Idle in drag
Wash -- Jack Nicholson
Jayne -- Alec Baldwin
Book -- Eddie Murphy
Kaylee -- Oprah Winfrey
Simon -- Stacy Keach
River -- Pam Anderson
Inara -- Paris Hilton

Thank god they invented sniper rifles.

CANUNDRUM69

Monday, February 27, 2006 4:29 PM

I think even thought they are bad choices,
someone might want to consider a Firefly Parody with some of these choices :)

Zoe - Hank Azaria
Simon - Nathan Lane
Mal - Robin Williams
Wash - Eddie Izzard
Jayne - Willam Defoe
Kaylee - Devine
Inara - David Bowie
River - Mikhail Baryshnikov
Book - Gregory Hines

or

Wash - Sylvester Stallone
Simon - Arnold Schwarzenegger
Book - Jean Claude Van Damme
Mal - Michael Clarke Duncan
Jayne - Bruce Willis
Kaylee - Brigette Neilson
Inara - Demi Moore
Zoe - Rachel MacLeash
River - Liv Tyler

or 25 years later

Mal - Ian McKellen
Jayne - Patrick Stewart
Simon - Richard Harris
Book - Red Foxx
Wash - William Shatner
Kaylee - Julie Andrews
River - Anne Margaret
Zoe - Eartha Kitt
Inara - Julie Numar

I'm "HUGE" In Japan!

INDIANABANZAI

Monday, February 27, 2006 4:32 PM

The sports edition!

Mal - John Elway
Inara - Danica Patrick
River - Tanya Harding
Simon - Jeff Gordon
Zoe - Venus Williams
Wash - Dale Earnhardt Jr.
Kaylee - Cami Granato
Book - Terrell Owens
Jayne - Barry Bonds

The ex-Bond actors edition!

Mal - Roger Moore
Inara - Carey Lowell
River - Talia Soto
Simon - Pierce Brosnan
Zoe - Grace Jones
Wash - George Lazenby
Kaylee - Tanya Roberts
Book - Bernie Casey
Jayne - Sean Connery

The other TV shows edition!

Mal - Kiefer Sutherland (24)
Inara - Jennifer Garner (Alias)
River - Grace Park (Battlestar Galactica)
Simon - Hugh Laurie (House)
Zoe - Geena Davis (Commander in Chief)
Wash - Eric Balfour (was on 24)
Kaylee - Rachael Leigh Cook (was on Las Vegas)
Book - Dennis Haysbert (was on 24)
Jayne - Tom Welling (Smallville)

DAVEC5

Monday, February 27, 2006 4:38 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Ruxton:
My choices:
Mal -- Peewee Herman

come on, i'd never chage the cast of Firefly, but Peewee Herman...that would be HI-larious.... paul rubens is a genius

DAVEC5

Monday, February 27, 2006 4:39 PM

maybe in the Mad magazine version of Firelfy

GRAYFURY

Monday, February 27, 2006 4:51 PM

I did this on a previous post....where attempts were made to have stars play our BDH's ....I'll try to remember what I wrote....

Mal ~ Steven Wright
Jayne ~ D J Qualls
Book ~ A Phone Book
Wash ~ George W Bush
Inara ~ Rosie O'Donnell
Zoe ~ C3p0
Simon ~ Corky from Life goes on
Kaylee ~ Courtney Love
River ~ The Number 4

With special guest stars...

The Operative ~ Steven Hawking
Mr. Universe ~ Arnold Shwartzenegger
Badger ~ A Badger
Hands Of Blue ~ Waldorf and Statler
Nishka ~ Stripe from Gremlins
Saffron ~ A cheese sandwich

"Smellin' alot of IF comin' offa' this plan!"

GRAYFURY

Monday, February 27, 2006 4:55 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by ThePistonEngine:
What would the worst Firefly cast be?

Wash - Kenneth Branagh

Neither of those sandyhaired actors have any lips... Coincidence?

"Smellin' alot of IF comin' offa' this plan!"

THEPISTONENGINE

Monday, February 27, 2006 5:09 PM

That is quite possibly the funniest one yet!

Quote:
Originally posted by Canundrum69:
I think even thought they are bad choices,
someone might want to consider a Firefly Parody with some of these choices :)

Inara - David Bowie

I'm "HUGE" In Japan!

THEPISTONENGINE

Monday, February 27, 2006 5:11 PM

Yeah, I generally went by how badly they'd fit in the role personality wise. I definately did not go off of talent or looks, as my list has some fairly talented actors.

Quote:
Originally posted by GrayFury:
Quote:
Originally posted by ThePistonEngine:
What would the worst Firefly cast be?

Wash - Kenneth Branagh

Neither of those sandyhaired actors have any lips... Coincidence?

"Smellin' alot of IF comin' offa' this plan!"

COSMICFUGITIVE

Monday, February 27, 2006 5:34 PM

Here's my wacky list:

Mal - David Duchovny.
Jayne - Jean Claude Van Damme.
Book - Bill Cosby.
Wash - Dolf Lungren.
Inara - Jennifer Garner.
Zoe - .Hallie Berry.
Simon - Elijah Wood.
Kaylee - Kiera Knightly.
River - Denise Richards.

Badger - Jack Black.
Niska - Rutger Haur.
The Operative - Chris Rock.

[img] [/img]

CORNCOBROB

Monday, February 27, 2006 7:00 PM

Mal - Eddie Murphy
Jayne - Eddie Murphy
Book - Eddie Murphy
Wash - Eddie Murphy
Inara - Eddie Murphy
Zoe - Eddie Murphy
Simon - Eddie Murphy
Kaylee - Eddie Murphy
River - Eddie Murphy

Badger - Eddie Murphy
Niska - Eddie Murphy
The Operative - Eddie Murphy
Fanty & Mingo - Eddie Murphy & Eddie Murphy

___________________________________
The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry

Arizona Browncoats can find me at Gamers Inn on Southern and Gilbert, best chances to find me are Friday nights, playing the Serenity RPG

KIDREGAL

Monday, February 27, 2006 7:36 PM

'Kay, this has been bouncing around in my head all day...

Mal: William Shatner
Wash: Ben Stiller
Jayne: Christopher Walken
Book: Shaquille O'Neil
Kaylee: An Olsen Twin (Like it matters which one)
Zoe: Martin Lawrence (in his Big Mamma's house fat suit)
Inara: Anna Nicole Smith
River: Katie Holmes
Simon: Tom Cruise (for a extra creepifying angle on the brother/sister relationship)

and, lastly, for a special guest star, Danny Devito as Badger.

Whatcha think?

I have ridden the great moon worm!
-Al Gore

JAYNESBUNKWOMAN

Monday, February 27, 2006 8:14 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by otma:

Jayne - Woody Allen

OMFG stop, can't stop ROFLMAO

WA as Jayne: IIIIII don't know if IIII should be carrying that th-thing (looking at Vera). It looks soo very heavy and IIII'm just this small guy.....(vera goes off in his face as revenge!)

I'll be in my bunk

AZTECHROME

Monday, February 27, 2006 8:18 PM

How about:

Zoe: Big Momma (Martin Lawrence)
Wash: Ellen DeGeneres
Inara: Jaime Farr (Klinger from M*A*S*H)
Simon: Richard Simmons
Kaylee: Roseanne Barr
Book: 50 cent

Quote:

I love all the suggestions, but I've got one question, dear friends: How is it possible that no one, NO ONE, suggested the best possible male actor for any role, male OR female....

William Shatner!

C'mon...think about it...let it grow and fester in your mind...

"We're just...too pretty..."

OH GOD!!!
It's festering.

I can't think of anyone who would ruin Mal's part more.... and still think he did a good job!

"What is the difference between work and love? Show me..." (JLG) Passion

RUXTON

Monday, February 27, 2006 8:25 PM

KidRegal,

Why not both Olsen twins?

And Tom Cruise/Katie Holmes is, indeed, nasty.

COPILOT

Monday, February 27, 2006 8:42 PM

Don Knotts died two days ago actually.

An I carried such a torch

INDIANABANZAI

Monday, February 27, 2006 10:03 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by copilot:
Don Knotts died two days ago actually.

An I carried such a torch

For Don Knotts?

SIGMANUNKI

Monday, February 27, 2006 10:42 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by davec5:

come on, i'd never chage the cast of Firefly, but Peewee Herman...that would be HI-larious.... paul rubens is a genius

Tracy: I think I broke your junk.

Crew: Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!

Officer: What the hell is wrong with you all?

Crew: "Junk" is the secret word of the day!

Crew: Ahhhhhhhhh!1!!

----
"We're in a giant car heading into a brick wall at 100 miles/hr and everybody's arguing about where they want to sit."
-David Suzuki

JOHNBOY

Monday, February 27, 2006 11:16 PM

Way out, crazy ideas here. But I think it would be more instructive to stick with ideas that are believable i.e. lists that a hollywood exec *could* (and probably did) come up with in pre-production. Current stars. Sort-of on target, but so, so wrong. A list where you could say "yeah, I see why they thought that...". Not tip-top of the range - no Tom Cruise - because Serenity could not have afforded them.

Here's mine:
Mal: Owen Wilson
Wash: Ben Stiller
Jayne: Vince Vaughn

Let's face it, they seem to come in a job-lot, so maybe Joss could have got all three as a bulk discount.

Zoe: Halle Berry
Inara: Natalie Portman
Kaylee: Hilary Duff (or Lindsey Lohan)
Book: James Earl Jones
River: Lindsey Lohan (or Hilary Duff)
Simon: I got nothing here. Nothing at all.

Cheers,
Johnboy

ASARIAN

Monday, February 27, 2006 11:50 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by SigmaNunki:

Crew: "Junk" is the secret word of the day!

Kaylee: luh-suh? Serenity ain't luh-suh! :)

--
"Mei-mei, everything I have is right here." -- Simon Tam

SIGMANUNKI

Tuesday, February 28, 2006 12:40 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by asarian:

Kaylee: luh-suh? Serenity ain't luh-suh! :)

Um, I was referencing The Message, not Safe.

Wow, I just checked up on if the above was correct from my box-set... and I was. Off the top of my head...

My name is SigmaNunki, and I'm a Firefly addict.

----
"We're in a giant car heading into a brick wall at 100 miles/hr and everybody's arguing about where they want to sit."
-David Suzuki

GUTTERBALL

Tuesday, February 28, 2006 12:48 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Zaknrfama:
Adelei Iforgotlastname - Mr. T

HA! Ah pity da fool dat mess wit Niska!

________________________________________

Please remember that the 9:30 show is completely different from the 7:30 show. Don't forget to tip your waitress.

KAYNA

Tuesday, February 28, 2006 1:13 AM

Thanks much Ruxton.
...
...
...
You know, this is kinda random but your name makes me think of Teddy Ruxbin

RUXTON

Tuesday, February 28, 2006 1:43 AM

Kayna,
Ought not to. It's taken from my last remaining role-model, George Frederick Ruxton, who out-Bonded James Bond 150 years ago, was accepted by the mountain men as one of their own, rode with Kit Carson's men, explored in Africa, Canada, Mexico and in the Rockies, fought for the teen-age queen of Spain and earned a commendation from her, wrote several books of adventure and travel including the DEFINITIVE work on the mountain men...and died at age 27.

FISHSPEAKER

Tuesday, February 28, 2006 1:58 AM

Mal - Johnny Depp
Jayne - Billy Bob Thorton
Zoe - Queen Latifa
Inara - Roseanne Barr
River - Linda Blair
Simon - Alec Baldwin
Book - Ving Rhames
Kaylee - Drew Barrymore
Wash - Christopher Walken (I need more cowbell!)

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

THEPISTONENGINE

Tuesday, February 28, 2006 2:07 AM

I could so see Christopher Walken explaining juggleing goslings...

Quote:
Originally posted by FishSpeaker:
Mal - Johnny Depp
Jayne - Billy Bob Thorton
Zoe - Queen Latifa
Inara - Roseanne Barr
River - Linda Blair
Simon - Alec Baldwin
Book - Ving Rhames
Kaylee - Drew Barrymore
Wash - Christopher Walken (I need more cowbell!)

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

WANNABEMALSBABY

Tuesday, February 28, 2006 3:30 AM

Mal: Nathan Fillion
Inara: Nathan Fillion
Zoe: Nathan Fillion
Wash: Nathan Fillion
Jayne: Nathan Fillion
Simon: Nathan Fillion
River:Nathan Fillion
Book:Nathan Fillion
Kaylee:Nathan Fillion

Hey I'd like to see him pull it off.

"some people juggle geese" -Wash

THEPISTONENGINE

Tuesday, February 28, 2006 3:36 AM

Why not just Peter Sellers? "How I learned to stop worrying and love the Operative."

Quote:
Originally posted by WannaBeMalsBaby:
Mal: Nathan Fillion
Inara: Nathan Fillion
Zoe: Nathan Fillion
Wash: Nathan Fillion
Jayne: Nathan Fillion
Simon: Nathan Fillion
River:Nathan Fillion
Book:Nathan Fillion
Kaylee:Nathan Fillion

Hey I'd like to see him pull it off.

"some people juggle geese" -Wash

DRPAIN

Tuesday, February 28, 2006 3:37 AM

Mal - Bobby Brown
Zoe - Whitney Houston
Wash - Eminem
Jayne - Snoop Dogg
Book - 50 Cent
Simon - P. Diddy
Kaylee - Britney Spears
Inara - Lil' Kim
River - Shakira

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WWJD: What Would Jayne Do?

THIEFJEHAT

Tuesday, February 28, 2006 3:38 AM

Well I do know that Nathan played River in a Serenity RPG playtest. So he's got 2 of 9.

Do not fear me. Ours is a peaceful race, and we must live in harmony.

MISSTRESSAHARA

Tuesday, February 28, 2006 8:46 AM

I could so see Christopher Walken explaining juggleing goslings...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Get into the mind...

"Some people, you see, juggle geese. It's a strange thing to see... these goslings... these baby geese....being juggled...... They do what they can.... to amuse themselves..... If you close your eyes... you'll see it. It's weird."

Had to, had to share what's in my mind.

If I'm a bitch, then life just got interesting

MISSTRESSAHARA

Tuesday, February 28, 2006 8:52 AM

These are all cracking me up.... have to watch I don't spray my monitor. God, I have images now of all these people doing the scenes. The two that stand out, Chris Walken, and Will Shatner.

Have to do it.

"We...can't-die-Bendis.... doyouknowhy? Be-cause weeeere soooooo preeetty. We are...... justooprettyforGodtoletusdie."

I can be so disturbing at times. But I'm in good company.

If I'm a bitch, then life just got interesting

SIXSHOOTER

Tuesday, February 28, 2006 12:03 PM

Mal -- Tom Green. - Of course, watching him swill down the liquid the 'alien' calf was floating in might make for interesting viewing.
Zoe -- The 'Lady' from The Crying Game.
Wash -- Carrot Top. – Oh man, this one made me cringe.
Jayne -- Robert Z'Dar.
Book -- Chris Tucker. "Cha-mon!! You fools gotta get some god into you I’m gonna slap y'all down like Tina!"
Kaylee -- Estelle Getty. Jubal Early would so get a Sicilian death curse.
Simon -- Dave Coulier. (UNCLE JOEY!!!).
River – Anna-Nicole Smith. – Ewwww.
Inara -- Lambchop (but not Shari).

THEPISTONENGINE

Tuesday, February 28, 2006 12:19 PM

Ok, I've collected all your hillarious imputs, and I've come up with the "Serenity 2: I, Lovbot" cast.

Remember, these names were not chosen for the actors talent. They were chosen for a variety of reasons: How subtley they'd screw up the role, how they almost work but are just so wrong, and, of course, just how funny it is.

EDIT: Sigh- have to reformat the list

Mal: Bill Pullman.
Runner up: William Shatner

Inara: David Bowie
Runner up: Fran Drescher

Zoe: Tina Turner
Runner up: Claudia Black

Kaylee: Cameron Diaz
Runner up: Christina Ricci

Wash: Ben Stiller
Runner up: Vince Vaughn

Book: Reverend Al Sharpton
Runner up: Gregory Hines

Simon: Orlando Bloom
Runner up: George Clooney

River: Mary Kate Olsen
Runner up: Liv Tyler

Jayne: Christopher Walken
Runner up: Syvlester Stallone

The Operative: Jim Carrey
Badger: Joe Pesci
Jubal Early: Richard Gear

I just gotta say how funny Walken would be as Jayne. I could see him doing EVERYTHING Jayne would do, but he could never fake Jayne's thick skull. He just couldn't do it with the right personality.

AUSSAY

Tuesday, February 28, 2006 12:41 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Misstressahara:

"Some people, you see, juggle geese. It's a strange thing to see... these goslings... these baby geese....being juggled...... They do what they can.... to amuse themselves..... If you close your eyes... you'll see it. It's weird."

LOL

That is gorram funny to imagine

"Shake your head boy, your eyes are stuck"

www.fireflyfans.net
http://www.browncoatsriseagain.com/

DUG

Tuesday, February 28, 2006 1:35 PM

I know it looks like votings over, but I just have to throw out the universe ending, all time worst *possible* casting:

Malcolm Reynolds: Jar Jar Binks

ZAKNRFAMA

Tuesday, February 28, 2006 5:02 PM

...How on earth did I forget this?

River - Chuck Norris

There we go.

WEICHI

Tuesday, February 28, 2006 5:59 PM

Here is my worst cast - based on the Studios trying to tie into other franchises to boost box office.

Mal - Keifer Sutherland - Jack's back, he has a spaceship and the universe, but he is still tortured and alone.

Zoe - Pam Grier - Did I mention Whedon is out and Tarantino is in?

Kaylee - Pam Anderson She's a sexcrazed former tool time girl.

Book - William Shatner - He is a man with a past - or is it a future?

Jayne - John Travolta - It's the Tarantino thing again.

Inara - Julia Roberts - Of course, "Pretty Women" in space. Wait a minute - Richard Gere for Mal? Brilliant!

Simon - George Clooney - ER was never the same without him - Dr. Ross in space.

Wash - Jeff Gordon - California quirky NASCAR driver with a spaceship - lets fill drive ins all over the South

River - Dakota Fanning - Doesn't she have to be in everything? Plus she's box office gold!

Some Random Guy Who Gets Shot - Harry Whittington

Also, everyone has a pet husky

See how I'm not punching him, I think I've grown!

WEICHI

Tuesday, February 28, 2006 5:59 PM

Here is my worst cast - based on the Studios trying to tie into other franchises to boost box office.

Mal - Keifer Sutherland - Jack's back, he has a spaceship and the universe, but he is still tortured and alone.

Zoe - Pam Grier - Did I mention Whedon is out and Tarantino is in?

Kaylee - Pam Anderson She's a sexcrazed former tool time girl.

Book - William Shatner - He is a man with a past - or is it a future?

Jayne - John Travolta - It's the Tarantino thing again.

Inara - Julia Roberts - Of course, "Pretty Women" in space. Wait a minute - Richard Gere for Mal? Brilliant!

Simon - George Clooney - ER was never the same without him - Dr. Ross in space.

Wash - Jeff Gordon - California quirky NASCAR driver with a spaceship - lets fill drive ins all over the South

River - Dakota Fanning - Doesn't she have to be in everything? Plus she's box office gold!

Some Random Guy Who Gets Shot - Harry Whittington

Also, everyone has a pet husky

See how I'm not punching him, I think I've grown!

DC4BS

Wednesday, March 1, 2006 12:11 AM

Damn... I can actualy picture Eddie Izzard as a cross dressing Badger... LOL!

Biggest laugh so far: Book = Don King

"The hair would still be there. Waiting..."

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dc4bs

DC4BS

Wednesday, March 1, 2006 1:46 AM

Zoe: Whoopie Goldberg... Yikes!

Vaguely plausible (therefore truly frightning) BIG-budget cast
-------------------------------------------------------------
Mal: Harrison Ford
Zoe: Halle Berry
Wash: Val Kilmer (Would you classify that as a launch problem?)
Inara: Angelina Jolie
Jayne: Vin Diesel
Kaylee: Drew Barrymore
Book: Morgan Freeman
Simon: Johnny Depp
River: Milla Jovovich
Badger: Eddie Izzard
Crow: The Rock
Niska: Donald Sutherland
YoSafBridge: Charlize Theron

Figure, just hiring this cast would put the movie at least double the budget without having shot a single frame of film or built a set or anything... ;)

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dc4bs

HANSWURST

Wednesday, March 1, 2006 2:08 AM

Mal: DB Sweeney
Jayne: DB Sweeney
Any acting role which requires human speech, emotion and honesty: DB Sweeney

ANCIENTMARINER

Wednesday, March 1, 2006 2:34 AM

Mal - Quentin Tarantino
Inara - Jennifer Lopez
Jayne - Slyvester Stalone
Zoe - Whoopi Goldberg
Wash - Bobcat Goldplate
Kaylee - Brittney Spears
Simon - Ashton Kuther
River - Brittney Murphy
Book - Cedric the Entertainer
The Operative - Snoop Dog
Mr. Universe - Paul Walker

Even if shot with the same script, WORST!MOVIE!EVER!

"Son of a bitch."