Funniest thing you have ever seen on TV or in a movie

POSTED BY: est120
UPDATED: Monday, May 8, 2006 05:55
VIEWED: 23308
PAGE 1 of 1

EST120

Wednesday, April 26, 2006 1:20 PM

I was flipping around the channels the other day and ran across the movie Austin Powers (the first one) and I ended up watching the scene where Austin Powers "battles" the robots by dancing and jumping around to that old 80s song from the Divinyls. I have to admit, to me, that is one of the funniest things I have ever seen in a movie or on a TV show. I am sure I have others, but that one just makes me laugh every time I see it. Granted, other people may not find that scene nearly as funny as I do, but perhaps all of you have some other scene that just brings out the chuckles or the outright conniptions every time you see it.

DASHBOARDDINO

Wednesday, April 26, 2006 1:27 PM

Oooh, I love Austin! And I love that scene. It sends me into fits. I dunno if it's funnier than River and Book's hair-panic scene though.

DD

GUYWHOWANTSAFIREFLYOFHISOWN

Wednesday, April 26, 2006 2:39 PM

oh for me it's a toss up between

Mal: what was that?

Wash: did you see that?

Mal: was that the primary buffer panel?

Wash: it did seem to resemble--

Mal: did the primary buffer panel just fall of my gorram ship for no apparent reason?
*shudder*
Wash: looks like

and all of that scene against

Jayne: can't change that by gettin all... bendy

Wash: all what?

Jayne:you got the light from the console to keep you, lift you up,oh they shine like littel... angels

*thump*

Wash: did he just go crazy and fall asleep?

One Day.
One Mission
One Army of Browncoats.

On June 23rd, We Aim To Misbehave.
www.SerenityJune23rd.com

DASHBOARDDINO

Wednesday, April 26, 2006 2:42 PM

Ok, you got me. I will be hearing Wash say, "Did he just go crazy and fall asleep?" all day now.

DASHBOARDDINO

Wednesday, April 26, 2006 2:42 PM

Ok, you got me. I will be hearing Wash say, "Did he just go crazy and fall asleep?" all day now.

DAVESHAYNE

Wednesday, April 26, 2006 2:54 PM

Sherman set the wayback machine to 1956.

"The pellet with the poison's in the vessel with the pestle the chalice with the pallace has the brew that is true"

Hysterically funny routine. Odd since I find Danny Kaye's work to be lackluster at best aside from that one bit.

David

"Not completely as well as the series of Firefly..." - From a review of Serenity at amazon.de

FUTUREMRSFILLION

Wednesday, April 26, 2006 2:59 PM

still even that doesn't compare to the outtakes.

"put book friend and center, he was our friend and we should honor him" that whole scene just kills me. And when "Malcolm" says he has seen so much death and then starts dancing!

On other shows, Kitty on "that 70's show" is always cracking me up.

One day.
One mission.
One army of Browncoats.

On June 23rd, we aim to misbehave!

Nathan doesn't know it yet, but I am his one true love! Is that weird?
(he will believe, he will believe)

PATSRULE

Wednesday, April 26, 2006 3:09 PM

Leslie Nielson calling balls and strikes as an umpire in Naked Gun

Jeff Daniels getting into a snowball fight with Lauren Holly in Dumb and Dumber

I highly doubt anyone will know this from TV, but Bill Cosby on Kids Say the Darndest Things getting a 6 year old child to do a commercial for Doctor C's cola (which was coke mixed with lemon juice and some other acidy type liquid)

"Boom goes the dynamite" a web clip of an amature sports reporter on a college tv show messing up as bad as anyone I have ever seen mess up, showed on VH1's webjunk 20.

Adam Sandler playing dodgeball against 1st graders in Billy Madison

These are probably my top 5 Movie/tv "laugh so hard it hurts the first time I saw it it and laugh now just thinking about them" moments that I can think of off the top of my head.

THESOMNAMBULIST

Wednesday, April 26, 2006 3:12 PM

Probably Family Guy season three:

Where the whole family just beat the living beejus out of each other! and it goes on and on... Absolutely hysterical.

Also Family Guy season one:

Where a bunch of Johova witnesses' knock on Peter Griffin's door and when he answers it he just cries out:
"Oh my god It's children of the corn!" then grabs a shotgun!

There are dozens though:

KINGPIN has loadsa sidesplitting laughs. Defo the graduate pastiche. Also the look on Woody Harrelsons face when he keeps hearing people say:
"Oh he's been 'Munsoned'"

Ace Venturer: when Jim Carey realising he's kissed Sean Young who used to be a man, is in the bathroom doing just about everything he can do to 'clean' himself - including putting the toilet plunger to his face to make himself vomit!!! Man that creased me up.

Me Myself and Irene where he's trying to take a whizz in the toilet after having just slept with Renee Zelwegger(sp) and he just can't aim it straight, and he's freaking out trying to deflect the jet with pictures off the walls n all sorts!!!

Man there are so many.

Oh almost forgot: The slow mo fight scene between Xander and Harmony in: BUFFY season four!!

TheSomnambulist

www.cirqus.com

FUTUREMRSFILLION

Wednesday, April 26, 2006 3:12 PM

MOST of what Carlos Mencia says on Mind over Mencia is pretty damn amusing.

One day.
One mission.
One army of Browncoats.

On June 23rd, we aim to misbehave!

Nathan doesn't know it yet, but I am his one true love! Is that weird?
(he will believe, he will believe)

ELEKA

Wednesday, April 26, 2006 3:20 PM

Hmmm...toss up between "dirt nap with baby jesus" and the scene in family guy when Peter reminisces with Lois' fater about that time he tried Ectascy.

Peter: "Oh...oh Brian. you're so soft....and so, oh you ears...ohhhhh"

Fits of laughter every time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jayne! Try not to steal too much of their shit.

EST120

Wednesday, April 26, 2006 3:21 PM

Actually, I cannot believe I forgot from Sportscenter on ESPN. There was a highlight that Kenny Mayne was supposed to report on and he could not pronounce the player's name and he even forgot the names of the teams playing. After he gave up getting it right he yells "Oh man! I really ate it on that highlight!" and ESPN aired it. Absolutely hiliarious. I wish I had that on tape. I remember waiting for the back to back rerun of that airing of Sportscenter just so I could watch it again.

LITTLEALBATROSS29

Wednesday, April 26, 2006 4:04 PM

Any episode of The Simpsons,The Kids In The Hall, or Monty Python.
Brian Candy, (Kids In The Hall) is one of the funniest movies EVER ! Oh, And any Old Steve Martin or Mel Brooks movie is also great for a laugh.

Bryce
************************************

I swallowed a bug.

CLIOMUSE

Wednesday, April 26, 2006 4:27 PM

Lots of things have cracked me up over the years, but the best one lately was the scene in Dodgeball when the "coach" pulls out the bag of wrenches. That moment was priceless. I just knew what was coming next. It was a good thing we saw it on DVD because we had to pause it while we laughed.

MSCKAREN

Wednesday, April 26, 2006 4:46 PM

Laughed till I cried:

Tom Hanks tripping/falling/wheelbarrowing down the hill in "The Money Pit". The flying turkey and crashing bathtub were also pretty good from that movie... I consider it a comedy classic but people seem to talk it down alot so YMMV.

Angel puppet episode

One of the Southparks - I can't remember the specific one, just thinking, "Wow! I'm laughing so hard I'm crying." I enjoy Southpark but usually not that much.

My favorite all time comedy is "Big Trouble in Little China" with Kurt Russell and Kim Catrell - god, we were all so much younger then...
Specific line that made me cry: "...or little basketcase on wheels..."

Think I'll throw that in the DVD player right now - could use a laugh...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Appears they've cancelled the show and we're still here. What does that make us?"
"Big damn junkies, Sir!"
"Ain't we just."
http://karenallover.blogspot.com/

NUCLEARDAY

Wednesday, April 26, 2006 4:58 PM

Oh, that's a toughy:

Saw Brain Candy mentioned here. That movie had me in stitches :) Let's see...

Family Guy: can't remember which episodes, but there's been two times I remember with an extended fight scene between Peter and a guy in a chicken costume. That always gets me.

Bong Water, with Luke Wilson. Jack Black just about killed me in that movie. Especially the scene where he's tromping through the forest like a deranged wood elf on 'shrooms.

And of course, Firefly. Jaynestown and OMR of course, and I always liked the scene at the end of War Stories. "This is something the Captain has to do himself." "No it's not!" "Oh.." :)

________________________________________________
You can take my hope when you pry it from my cold, dead fingers.

PATSRULE

Wednesday, April 26, 2006 5:04 PM

I love those fights between Peter and the Chicken guy! I also forgot about the Family Guy episode where Peter had a tab at the drugstore so he brought home some kind of vomit enducing medicine, and the family got into a contest on who could hold out from throwing up the longest. CLASSIC!!!!

EST120

Wednesday, April 26, 2006 5:07 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by msckaren:
Tom Hanks tripping/falling/wheelbarrowing down the hill in "The Money Pit". The flying turkey and crashing bathtub were also pretty good from that movie... I consider it a comedy classic but people seem to talk it down alot so YMMV.

That is pretty funny. I also liked the really bad doorbell.

Quote:
My favorite all time comedy is "Big Trouble in Little China" with Kurt Russell and Kim Catrell - god, we were all so much younger then...
Specific line that made me cry: "...or little basketcase on wheels..."

I agree. Underrated movie. I always loved the part when the good guys are in the sewers and that monster jumps out of the hole in the wall and that guy uses the flashy gem to kill it and says "It will come out no more." and Kurt Russell's character completely freaks out "What?! Huh?! What will come out no more?!" Or the knife getting stuck in his boot during the end battle scene? Or the lipstick? Or shooting the gun into the ceiling and getting knocked out by the falling plaster?

TRISTAN

Wednesday, April 26, 2006 5:09 PM

The "ninja crab" from Finding Nemo . I think I laughed for a solid five minutes after that one...kids in the theatre were looking at me oddly. My wife can still crack me up by doing an impression of that.

Of course, from the BDM, the whole "You wanna be Captain?" segment got me.

Many, many others, but it is quite easy to get me to laugh.

One day.
One mission.
One army of Browncoats.
On June 23rd, we aim to misbehave.
http://serenityjune23rd.com/

MALICIOUS

Wednesday, April 26, 2006 8:44 PM

This was in 3rd Rock From the Sun:

The funniest thing I have ever seen on TV is, hands down, when William Shatner tells John Lithgow that he saw something on the wing of the plane and John Lithgow yells, "So did I!!" I literally fell of the couch and then called my mother to see if she had seen it. (Please tell me you all know that both of them played the same character in the Outer Limits classic!!)

In movies: Everything in Monty Pythyon and the Holy Grail, Dodgeball, Without a Paddle and Animal House.

And, of course, "TRAP!" by our captain in the Serenity outtakes.

Mal-licious

I'm going to add cursing and the hurling about of things to my repertoire.

MUTT999

Wednesday, April 26, 2006 8:57 PM

SIMON:
...If I speak the words, "Eta-
JAYNE:
(jumping back)
Well don't say it!
ZOE:
It only works on her, Jayne.
JAYNE:
Oh. Well, now I know that.

(and anything Monty Python)

"That's the buffet table....."

MSCKAREN

Wednesday, April 26, 2006 9:58 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Malicious:
(Please tell me you all know that both of them played the same character in the Outer Limits classic!!)

I DID know that but I rarely watched 3rd Rock so missed this precious moment. Your description made me LOL, though. Thanks.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Appears they've cancelled the show and we're still here. What does that make us?"
"Big damn junkies, Sir!"
"Ain't we just."
http://karenallover.blogspot.com/

MSCKAREN

Wednesday, April 26, 2006 10:01 PM

More funny moments from "Big Trouble...":

Jack's CB monologues and the Chinese Hells... "...we Chinese have many hells..."

I'm laughing again!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Appears they've cancelled the show and we're still here. What does that make us?"
"Big damn junkies, Sir!"
"Ain't we just."
http://karenallover.blogspot.com/

DARKJESTER

Wednesday, April 26, 2006 11:05 PM

Do people remember the HBO intro theme, where the camera flew through a town's streets, towards a city, all the while a musical "intro" theme is building to a crescendo, and then the HBO theme starts playing? I saw a muppet special some 20 years back where they did a parody of that as their intro, but with wind-up cars on a cheaply-made cityscape and a toy Godzilla tripping over something, while playing the HBO theme on kazoos. The only time in my life I seriously could NOT stop laughing!

MAL "You only gotta scare him."
JAYNE "Pain is scary..."

http://www.fireflytalk.com - Big Damn Podcast

CALHOUN

Wednesday, April 26, 2006 11:15 PM

Quote:
Guywhowantsafireflyofhisown wrote:
Wednesday, April 26, 2006 04:39

Jayne: can't change that by gettin all... bendy

Wash: all what?

Jayne:you got the light from the console to keep you, lift you up,oh they shine like littel... angels

*thump*

Wash: did he just go crazy and fall asleep?

You left off the best bit of that scene! Wash resting his foot on the unconscious Jayne. That visual makes me crack up every time..

TEALCANDTRIP

Wednesday, April 26, 2006 11:52 PM

From Finding Nemo, Dory 'talking' to the whale. Side-splitting, bent over, cramping, painful laughter.... every time... without fail.

God... just thinking about it makes me laugh.

"I also hear that there's something called Firefly, which is either a canceled science-fiction television show or a new religion, I'm not clear on that. Either way, prayers for the resurrection are involved." – Lore Sjoberg

JOSSISAGOD

Thursday, April 27, 2006 12:48 AM

The funniest thing I've ever seen in a movie was: the enterance of Darth Vader in Episode 3, when he stepped off of the bed he was chained to, I couldn't help thinking he looked more like Frankenstein's Monster rather than Darth Vader!

JOSSIS(Most Definitely)AGOD

RMMC

Thursday, April 27, 2006 1:28 AM

Oh, heck...there ain't no one thing. You knew that, right?

In no particular order:

The scary hair in "Jaynestown."
The 'what's a stevedore?' scene in the Buffy ep "Who Are You?"
Spike's running commentary in opening scene of the Angel ep "In the Dark."
Pretty much all of the Farscape cartoon ep.
Crichton checking out Aeryn's body (that he happens to be inhabiting' and getting caught at it in the Farscape ep "Out of Their Minds."
The Princess Bride: 'it turns out your friend is only mostly dead.'
Young Frankenstein: 'Put. The candle. Back.'
Carol Burnett Show: 'Went With the Wind." Specifically, the dress with the curtain rod across the shoulders.
The BDM: Kaylee lamenting her lack of sentient company; The dirtnap with baby Jesus outtake, the crew listening in on Inara's wave to Mal.
WKRP in Cincinnati: Johnny hiding from the phone police, the turkey bombing,('As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly.')
Saturday Night Live: 'The Last Voyage of Star Trek.' Done in 1975!
Monty Python...Too many to list.
Slap Shot: Michael Ontkean's on ice striptease.
That's all that comes to mind...now.

****
RMMC

KPO

Thursday, April 27, 2006 1:46 AM

The one that comes to mind for me is from a fairly recent simpsons episode where Homer and Marge have stolen away to try and have a second honeymoon and Bart and Lisa are on their trail.

At the airport, Lisa makes the plan to cause a diversion:

Lisa: [Announces in evil, monologue voice] I'm going into the Gold Medallion club with Silver level membership! (laughs maniacally and slips through the door)

Check-in guy: The hell you are! (whips out a shotgun, cocks it) and moves out of shot after her.

I hope I've relayed this well enough I was incapacitated with laughter for long stretches for the rest of the evening after viewing this.

GUYWHOWANTSAFIREFLYOFHISOWN

Thursday, April 27, 2006 1:47 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Calhoun:
Quote:
Guywhowantsafireflyofhisown wrote:
Wednesday, April 26, 2006 04:39

Jayne: can't change that by gettin all... bendy

Wash: all what?

Jayne:you got the light from the console to keep you, lift you up,oh they shine like littel... angels

*thump*

Wash: did he just go crazy and fall asleep?

You left off the best bit of that scene! Wash resting his foot on the unconscious Jayne. That visual makes me crack up every time..

I never caught that before, thanks now you have given me an excuse to watch it again( although I didn't need one

One Day.
One Mission
One Army of Browncoats.

On June 23rd, We Aim To Misbehave.
www.SerenityJune23rd.com

CHRISISALL

Thursday, April 27, 2006 1:54 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Malicious:
This was in 3rd Rock From the Sun:

The funniest thing I have ever seen on TV is, hands down, when William Shatner tells John Lithgow that he saw something on the wing of the plane and John Lithgow yells, "So did I!!"

Surreal sick to the 2nd power.
(but it was Twilight Zone, show/movie)

Where've ya been, Mal Chrisisall

PLATINUMMONGOOSE

Thursday, April 27, 2006 3:40 AM

Most things on 3rd Rock are gut-busting.
There was one where Tommy was insisting that they call him Tom, and Mary comes over when the house is empty and says "Tom? Dick? Harry?" Then she just freezes and thinks for a second, realizing the joke for the first time. I fell off the couch laughing.

Also, many things that Chandler does on Friends are quite hilarious.

But the big numero uno for me is Xander quickly covering for why the gang is always in the library, and he says "Yes, to read makes our speaking English good." I have that quote on a t-shirt now.

KWICKO

Thursday, April 27, 2006 4:09 AM

The Simpsons Halloween special where Flanders becomes a zombie and Homer blows him away with a shotgun.

Bart: "Dad, you just blew away the Zombie Flanders!"

Homer (confused): "You mean Flanders was a zombie?"

What killed me in that scene was the whole idea that Homer didn't know - he just had always wanted some excuse to blow Flanders's head off!

Family Guy, Season One. The TV is on in the background, on Wheel of Fortune. All we can see of the puzzle is "GO _UCK YOURSELF". Turns out it's "Go tuck yourself in". :)

American Dad: The mom is working from home as a realtor, with Roger (the alien) helping out. Roger's chatting on the phone with Tammy, one of his female friends, when the mom jumps on him about getting back to work. Roger says into the phone, "Gotta go, Tams; the boss is being a real See You Next Tuesday..." I just simply could not believe they managed to get the "C"-word onto primetime network TV like that.

Chandler trying to get out of an awkward situation on Friends, jumping over the back of the couch with his backback, screaming, "Oh my God, this parachute is a knapsack!!"

And pretty much all of Arrested Development. And all of South Park, Season One.

Mike

A baby seal walks into a club...

JUSTSHINY

Thursday, April 27, 2006 4:24 AM

Here are some of mine: though honestly I have a reaally low standard for hilarity...

Bruce Almighty: "eeerroooodddding"

Too many to list in Dragnet with Dan Akroyd and Tom Hanks.

Dumb and dumber: specifically when they cry about the phone commercial.

Josie and the Pussycats (with real people): "the walls are mooshy!"

JoY RiDe: "ya, we're fine...now that were not murdered..."

So I married and ax murderer: "they're e-vil. fru-its from the de-vil."

Family guy: The whole firetruck seen "the ambulances will have to wait their turn..." OMG!
When he was tryin' to think up a fake name, looks around the room, spots a pea "pe-." He looks again to find a tear in someone's eye "-tear." Then he looks around once more and a giant griffen busts through the window and starts attacking some guy sitting in the restaurant. "Griffen...oh dammit."
When he hurts his knee and spends two minutes going "ahhh....ooooo....ahhh" they did that later again for a shorter amount of time in the A-Team ep.

Ya, there are a lot...this was fun...now i'm more happy. yay!

"In the spaceship, the silver space ship, the lion takes control."
AIM:LuckieDragon7
Always up for talkin' to my fellow Browncoats!

SINGATE

Thursday, April 27, 2006 4:28 AM

Okay I just have to throw a few in here.

Big Trouble in Little China - When that eyeball creature appears, Jack's response is gold, "Oh God what is that, don't tell me!"

Family Guy - Peter having a flashback to the whole family being held captive and tortured in a dungeon. While he is being whipped "If anyone sees the dungeon master can they tell him his grandmother was just down here trying to work me over." Taunting a guy while your family is in peril...priceless!

Almost anything with Chris Farley. Two in particular from Black Sheep. When he pulls the bucket out of the well and sees it is filled with snakes. Proceeds to freak out and run like hell while exclaiming "It looked at me!" The
other moment is when there is a bat in the cabin and he realizes it has attached itself to his back. No dialogue but the expression on his face is perfect.

_________________________________________________

We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far.

RODWY

Thursday, April 27, 2006 4:51 AM

Probably in that new movie The Benchwarmers. There is a part where some fan in the stadium at one of the baseball games says "I want a little man too." The guy sitting next to him picks up a miget from off screen says, "here ya go," and puts him on his lap.

It was so funny I just couldn't stop laughing. People were looking at me cause I was the only person in the theatre laughing.

---
http://usera.imagecave.com/Rodwy/FIREFLYTINSIG.JPG
http://www.phpbbforfree.com/forums/theinvaders.html

PLATINUMMONGOOSE

Thursday, April 27, 2006 5:13 AM

Ah, I forgot to mention:
Much of The Princess Bride
All of Big Trouble (the Tim Allen movie)
And the Dungeons and Dragons movie, 'cause seriously, how can you not watch that and laugh at every single part? Every horrible, horrible part.

Also, any Zucker Brothers movie. Loooove them. (Stop calling me Shirly!)

SAMEERTIA

Thursday, April 27, 2006 6:47 AM

Wow!
Everyone's got some really good ones! Funny, because I'm reading the list and thinking, "Oh, yea! I remember that! That was funny!"

No, the funniest thing I've ever seen on tv, and god help me I'm not sure why, was an episode of the Howie Mandel show. Mel Gibson was his guest, and I don't know what set them off - I don't know what the heck they were even trying to talk about - but they were both so funny that they couldn't stop laughing!

And it was that infectious laughter that once it starts it doesn't stop? And the whole audience was laughing! Mel would get half a word out and start laughing again! Howie would manage like three syllables and that would set them off.

It was hysterical.
And I don't even know WHY!! What were they even saying? Hell if I know! Why was it funny? Heck if I know! But I laughed so hard that I almost cracked. I'm laughing now just remembering it!

THESOMNAMBULIST

Thursday, April 27, 2006 8:21 AM

Dood. Great call on BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA. An absolute favourite of mine. I love the whole supposed hero speech he gives when they are preparing to go in:

"So ok you stay here, hold the fort keep the homefires burning... If we're not back by dawn... Call the president!"

However I forgot one that perhaps falls into my favourite! For many reasons, but mainly because I always loved John Candy. He came across as the loveliest man on earth and he entertained me no end when I was a kid growing up watching all his films. I kinda liked him when he was at his goofiest and putting his foot in his mouth but no better than in UNCLE BUCK when:

[at a meeting with the assistant principal, who's got a big unsightly growth on her face]

Anita: I'm Anita Hoargarth.

Buck Russell: [Staring at it] I'm Buck Melanoma. Moley Russell's wart. Not her wart. Not her wart! I'm... I'm the wart. She's my tumor. My... my growth. My... uh, my pimple. I'm Uncle Wart. Just old Buck "Wart" Russell. That's what they call me, or Melanoma Head. They'll call me that. "Melanoma Head's coming." I'm s... uncle! Maisy Russell's uncle!

It's all in his performance - to make that work it really needs a quality comedic actor and he was certainly that! RIP JC

For a gentle good natured comedy try and watch :
Who's Harry Crumb!!!

The
Somnambulist

www.cirqus.com

THESOMNAMBULIST

Thursday, April 27, 2006 8:43 AM

.... Oh man I just thought of loads more :(

Joe Dante films always make me laugh for the 'in jokes'

Gremlins : The scene where the dad is calling Billy from his inventors conference and it intercuts between the two characters. The dad is in a room where there is a scientist in a white coat sitting in the original 'Time Machine' from the 1960 film and when the cut goes from Billy back to his dad the scientist has disappeared and all these other guys are looking around bemused as to where he's gone!!! Brilliant !!!

Gremlins 2, the new batch: I much prefered this one for the Tex Avery style humour and there is SOOOOO much of it.

Chistopher Lee walking into scene holding a 'Pod' from the original Invasion of the Body Snatchers

The Cow with a contraption on it's head walking across shot and a voice saying " I enjoy giving milk....:

The automated voice that kicks in whenever someone enters the executive toilets:
"Welcome to the MEN'S room!" [in macho voice] + "Hey buddy I sure hope you washed those hands!!!"

There's loads more but I wanna move onto...

THE BURBS I love this film. The stuff Art says and does is priceless!! But that stand off between him and Tom Hanks son in the kitchen when they are hypothesizing what the Klopeks are and they are munching on food while they do it!! Cracks me up.

The cut-out shape of art in the shed roof from when in fell into it earlier is hysterical.

Tom Hanks going on how he's been blown up! The entire scene when they first go into the Klopeks' house and Tom Hanks has to eat a pretzel and a Sardine!!! The noise as he picks out the sardine from the tin is genuis!

The dramatic music as the neighbours look on at the Klopeks house and the final shot is on Walter's dog (Some kinda poddle) :D

I should stop but I have to mention:

THE EXPLORERS and the mouse who has speaking pads in his cage. When the blue ball goes ape around the basement destroying everything in the room if you listen carefully in all the commotion; aswell as the human characters yelling to "Stop!" You can hear the mouse going : "Help! Help me!" in typical mouse voice!! Just hilarious!!!

Also he says "I L.O.V.E. Cheese!!" - dunno why but that gets me everytime :D

Ok I really should stop.... Work to do.

Cheers
TheSomnambulist

www.cirqus.com

DEBP

Thursday, April 27, 2006 9:49 AM

On David Letterman years ago (before he switched stations even) he was doing viewer mail. For one letter he showed up at a the girls house who wrote him about choosing better shoes to wear. She was not home but her younger brother was and let Dave and the whole film crew into her bedroom when Dave asked if they could go in. The room was a wreck. They went through her closet and drawers and one guy even sat on her unmade bed eating a bannana. They then went enmass to Sears where she was working in the shoe department I think. When Dave explained that her brother had let them into her room and her reaction I wet my pants I was laughing so hard.

Another funny was once when David Letterman was on the Johnny Carson show when they were still buddies. They lived in the same neighborhood and Dave had a truck parked out front of his house that was a real eyesore in this posh neighborhood. They showed Dave video of his truck being loaded on a tow truck and taken to the stage there on his show. It was hysterical!

Wished I could get ahold of some of the old stuff like that. Some of you young ones are probably asking who is Johnny Carson.

MALICIOUS

Thursday, April 27, 2006 10:30 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by chrisisall:
...(but it was Twilight Zone, show/movie)

Where've ya been, Mal Chrisisall

ACK! And I've been watching Twighlight Zone eps for like the past month, too! I've been smoking crack, sorry.

I been lurking. I post occasionally but no one ever responds to me. So thanks for noticing and doing so! ChrisIsAllROCKS.

Mal-licious

I'm going to add cursing and the hurling about of things to my repertoire.

RHODRI

Thursday, April 27, 2006 10:44 AM

Here's my efforts

Star Wars (original movie)
* Trash compactor scene Han Solo says "My, what a wonderful smell you've discovered Your Highness"
* Stormtrooper break into Command Centre where 3PO and R2 are hiding. One hits his head on the door. Classicly unintentional!

Blazing Saddles - all of it! Especially meal time around the camp fire! Puerile i know, but hey? Shiny!!

The Italian Job (Michael Caine) "You're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!"

Kelly's Heroes - all the Donald Sutherland scenes! Positive waves man!

CALHOUN

Thursday, April 27, 2006 11:34 AM

Shanghai Noon! I love the scene where Owen Wilson is dreaming he is in bed with all those sexy women fawning all over him when one of the lusty ladies starts nibbling on his ear and he says ooh thats naughty, oooh, careful, not so hard Oooh hey .. OUCH!! and he wakes up buried up to his neck in the desert with vultures eating at his ears and head!

I crack up so hard at that scene. One of the funniest scenes I can remember ever.

EST120

Thursday, April 27, 2006 11:36 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Kwicko:
The Simpsons Halloween special where Flanders becomes a zombie and Homer blows him away with a shotgun.

Those Halloween episodes are great. The one from 1996 (I think) was especially good, with the Kang and Kodos running for president story.
"You have to vote for one of us. It's a two party system."
"I think I would consider a third party candidate!"
"Go ahead. Throw your vote away!"

Great stuff with them making fun of the Clinton-Dole election.

Quote:
Chandler trying to get out of an awkward situation on Friends, jumping over the back of the couch with his backback, screaming, "Oh my God, this parachute is a knapsack!!"

Actually, I forgot about Friends. My absolute favorite joke in that show was when Joey was going to be on Law & Order and he slips in that video tape of him when he realizes that his part got cut from the show and there is a clip of Chandler singing "Space Oddity" by David Bowie. "Engines...... on." I love that. I laugh so hard every time I see it in reruns.

SERVANTOFKUSHIEL

Thursday, April 27, 2006 12:26 PM

Friends: When Ross asks everyone to sing along with the bagpipes and Phoebe starts mimicking the noise of it exactly. Also when Ursula does porn and the guys have a copy. Phoebe walks in and shouts "What am I doing" I about died.

Family guy: When Stewies teeth come in and want to fight each other but instead decide to bite the tongue. Also the whole banjo thing with him (I used to play), so I thought that was really funny.

Aqua teen hunger force: Flipflops! Those leprechans where hilarious. And the Mooninites. I laugh at whatever they say.

South Park: The whole Timmy and Jimmy crips thing.

And finally, a black eye pead herself.

ARABIKUM

Thursday, April 27, 2006 12:46 PM

Monty Python´s "Bicycle Repair Man" when everybody ran around dressed up like superman, but nobody was able to fix they´re frakkin´ bikes. I was laughing for hours!

A.

One day.
One mission.
One army of Browncoats.

On June 23rd, we aim to misbehave!
http://www.fireflyday.com/

CALHOUN

Thursday, April 27, 2006 1:08 PM

Quote:
Calhoun wrote:
Thursday, April 27, 2006 01:34
Shanghai Noon! I love the scene where Owen Wilson is dreaming he is in bed with all those sexy women fawning all over him when one of the lusty ladies starts nibbling on his ear and he says ooh thats naughty, oooh, careful, not so hard Oooh hey .. OUCH!! and he wakes up buried up to his neck in the desert with vultures eating at his ears and head!

I crack up so hard at that scene. One of the funniest scenes I can remember ever.

OH COME ON! That was HIGH-LARIOUS!

CYBERSNARK

Thursday, April 27, 2006 5:46 PM

Dory in Finding Nemo.

The final S2 fight between the Dark Hand and the J-Team in Jackie Chan Adventures. It's the one where all the Talismans are in play, and the Dark Hand morons are mis-using their superpowers: Chow's eye-beams break his glasses (so now he can't see anymore), and Hak-fu gets the Ox talisman, and boasts about his newfound "Strength of the Ox!" --then Tohru clobbers him: "INNER strength, Hak-fool."

Avatar: The Last Airbender, pretty much anything that happens to Sokka. And anything Uncle Iroh does.

That bit in S4 Enterprise when Trip and Archer nearly lose their shuttle (then manage to recover it and it comes to a landing about an inch in front of Archer). (and Trip's comment: "Let's not tell T'Pol about this.")

In Justice League Unlimited last season, after rescuing the Question, Huntress is carefully trying to pick a lock while Superman fights Captain Atom. She's struggling with the lock, then Supes & Atom go crashing through the wall beside her. She looks up, blinks, then gets up and calmly walks through the hole.

-----
We applied the cortical electrodes but were unable to get a neural reaction from either patient.

SINGATE

Thursday, April 27, 2006 6:14 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by TheSomnambulist:

For a gentle good natured comedy try and watch :
Who's Harry Crumb!!!

The
Somnambulist

Great call on Who's Harry Crumb. This may be Candy's most underappreciated film. Finally got a hold of it on DVD last year. Almost every scene is a laugh riot because his character is such a bumbling idiot. Just a few examples:

"Look at the size of her head, she must be enormous."

"You find that crazy typewriter, you'll find your kidnapper."

The whole Indian AC repairman bit.

At the end when he is telling Elliot how he cracked the case but we know he is dead wrong. When Elliot confesses Harry acts like he knew it all along.

_________________________________________________

We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far.

CHRISISALL

Thursday, April 27, 2006 6:48 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by TheSomnambulist:
Dood. Great call on BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA. An absolute favourite of mine. I love the whole supposed hero speech he gives when they are preparing to go in:

"So ok you stay here, hold the fort keep the homefires burning... If we're not back by dawn... Call the president!"

I love Kurt's unseemly nature when he says "Chinese girl, all right, I never done that."
Or:
"It's all in the reflexes."
That flick's full of 'em!

The check's in the mail Chrisisall

CHRISISALL

Thursday, April 27, 2006 6:56 PM

My biggest laugh was probably when Buffy said to the demon "Wanna see my imitation of Ghandi?" Then she struck the guy dead. Her friend looked at her as if to ask a question, and Buffy followed with "You know, if he was really pissed."
Gets me every time.

Miss the old days when you and Zoid posted more often, Mal.

Raise you hand if, 'Eeewwue' Chrisisall

NVGHOSTRIDER

Thursday, April 27, 2006 7:13 PM

Gene Wilder pulls the hood off Clevon Littles head so he can ask, "Where are the white women?"
Okay, so pretty much all of Blazin' Saddles killed me.

OURMRSWASHBURNE

Thursday, April 27, 2006 10:31 PM

Madeline Kahn as Lili von Schtupp in Blazing Saddles - when she does her song "I'm Tired".

Tim Curry as Wadsworth the Butler in Clue when he's doing the run-through of what's happened so far in the movie.

Mal: "With a s-what?" in Shindig.

Spike watching Angel from the roof. "I'm almost out of the nancy-boy hair gel I like so much. Quickly, to the Angel-mobile! Away!"

Faith, as Buffy, telling Spike "It's wrong." Gets me every time.

Alan Rickman as the Sheriff in Robin Hood Prince of Thieves. "You! My room, ten minutes. You, ten minutes later! Bring a friend!"

Miracle Max's wife Valerie in the Princess Bride, when she chases him round the hut going "Humperdinck! Humperdinck!"

When Wesley Snipes (as Noxzeema Jackson) plays basketball in To Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything, Julie Newmar.

When Alan Tudyk jumps out on Vince Vaughn in Dodgeball. "Steve be a bit short for the rent this month! Yarr!" That whole bit. And the bondage coat. :)

When Mal says to Jayne, "The days of me not takin' you seriously are comin' to a middle."

Wash doing the first dino bit. You know. The "this land - betrayal - die! - arrrrgh" section...

Too many bits of A Knights Tale to mention. But mostly the bit when Wat sits up, half asleep, and shouts "Tansy Cakes!" and the bit where Chaucer gets called Master Nude by Roland. And when Roland describes William's tunic to the maid Christiana. And... :)

Oh, and Alan Cumming in X Men 2, when he says "I am Kurt Wagner. But in ze circus zey called me ze Incrrrrrredible Night Crrrrawler..." - it's not funny in itself, but after my friends have repeated it a dozen or so times, it gets me sniggering for some reason...

Mrs W

ETA: I forgot. Joss as Numfar, in No Place Like Pltz Grb (or whichever one it was) doing the Dance of Shame. I nearly died laughing. I love that bit.

PERSEPHONE736

Friday, April 28, 2006 12:32 AM

O my gosh, there are too many! Let's see, anything Monty Python, specifically the Holy Grail- the coconut scene is the best! Also anything Mel Brooks- I nearly died the first time I saw the Puttin on the Ritz scene from Young Frankenstein A lot of mine have been mentioned already...let's see...Princess Bride- the whole Miracle Max scene and right after when they bring Wesley back to life and his head is flopping around. Ace Ventura's impression of a dolphin (it's been awhile since I've seen it but I remember laughing for at least ten minutes straight). And last but not least- Zoolander, the whole thing is hilarious!
EDIT: I can't believe I forgot Firefly! You all know the good scenes- I won't bore you with a list.

Link to current Firefly Fit Club weekly thread:
http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=11&t=20090
Link to original Firefly Fit Club thread:
http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=2&t=18971

RMMC

Friday, April 28, 2006 1:55 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by OurMrsWashburne:
Tim Curry as Wadsworth the Butler in Clue when he's doing the run-through of what's happened so far in the movie.

Dang! I forgot Clue! I love that bit. Tim's just so frenetic. ("To make a long story short..""Too late!")

You also made me remember another one from "Angel"...Lindsey and his 'evil hand' at the W&H board meeting.

****
RMMC

RHODRI

Friday, April 28, 2006 11:06 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by OurMrsWashburne:
Spike watching Angel from the roof. "I'm almost out of the nancy-boy hair gel I like so much. Quickly, to the Angel-mobile! Away!"

I forgot that!! Shiny!!

JPSTARGAZER

Friday, April 28, 2006 5:36 PM

Well the whole movie Hot Shots Part Deux is funny, but one line really gets me (probably not 100% accurate, but it'll get the point across):

(Pointing on globe) "And then we strike!"
"Sir, that's Minnesota."
"Dammit, man. That's the genius of my plan! We'll fly them over here, their families too. We can teach 'em how to ice skate..."

I loved the line in Wedding Crashers when Owen Wilson tells the joke after the discussion about the two rich families being joined through marriage (I think I was one of 3 people who laughed at this joke, I don't know why):

"And then you can challenge the Klingon Empire for interstellar domination."

And as far as TV, in Clerks the animated series (yet another good show that was cancelled) when the jury's deliberation was replaced by japanimation...it just came out of nowhere.

"All I got is a red guitar, three chords, and the truth...the rest is up to you"
--Bono

CAT1620RD

Saturday, April 29, 2006 1:57 AM

one in the Simpsons were the guy is robbing Apu (again) and Apu pushes a button and it announces throughout the store "Silent alarm activated"

also a scene in Family Guy were he is talking to the pirate who has all wooded limbs-
Peter- so did you get in an accident or something
Pirate- no, me father was a tree

Scary movie three when a kid throws a bunch of crayons at the door and Brenda says "now who the **** did that!!"

oh and of course-
Willow- ...B-I-T-C-H
Giles- I think were all a little too old to be spelling things out
Xander- A Bitca?

It's a real burden being right so often.

CAT1620RD

Saturday, April 29, 2006 2:16 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by jpstargazer:
Well the whole movie Hot Shots Part Deux is funny

oh I love that movie too! I like the whole white picket fence scene..."but its private property"

It's a real burden being right so often.

SINGATE

Wednesday, May 3, 2006 8:04 AM

I just thought of another one while at work today so figured I'd bump this back up. The movie Parenthood is a great comedy, Steve Martin has a ton of funny scenes, but the show stealer is delivered by Clint Howard.

Martin is coaching his son's little league team and decides to boost his confidence by letting him play at a crucial moment. His son drops a pop fly causing the team's defeat. Howard, who is a parent of one of the other kids, goes completely berserk. "HE HAD NO BUSINESS BEING OUT THERE!...NO BUSINESS!...NOOOOOOO!" This scene perfectly illustrates how parents mess up children's athletics.

_________________________________________________

We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far.

MILFORD

Wednesday, May 3, 2006 7:07 PM

I'm going ot bracet out Joss Whedon shows which are hilarious and MASH because it could go down as the wittiest show in TV history, as well as the Serenity movie and a few Ben Stiller shows that tickle my funny bone and say:

The funniest thing I have ever seen on TV is on an episode of Daffy Duck where he's a fancy cowboy and his sidekick is Porky Pig. Daffy races into town to collect the outlaw and when he finds him in the saloon he brandishes his pistol and says:

Reach for the sky, hombre!

Now, that doesn't seem very funny, but he pronouces "hombre" like "home-burr." Kills me just thinking about it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Customizeable handmade baby gifts personalized by my wife! Check them out at www.baby-bobo.com. All proceeds go towards international adoption.

JUNE 23RD: Take part in our assault on Universal. Commit to buy a copy of Serenity or Firefly, or both, and write a letter to Universal, Joss, and the rest of the BDH's and let them know what we want!

Leaning into the wind that used to carry me-Stavesacre

REGINAROADIE

Wednesday, May 3, 2006 8:24 PM

There are sop many different things that I've seen in various movies and tv shows that it's almost impossible to list them all. I'm just going to with the ones off the top of my head.

Any KIDS IN THE HALL sketch with Dave Foley or Kevin McDonald in it. The two of them together or by themselves are the absolute funniest sketches in the whole series. The "Pit of Ultimate Darkness" is a favorite of mine, but I also like the "Office Submarine" bit where Kevin keeps going "Office...submarine" and the last line. "You are the enemy of imagination. People like you think that poems have to rhyme, or songs half to have a catchy melody...that a comedy sketch has to have an ending." And then gives this weird look to end before the credits roll.

Or two great GOB moments in ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT. One was when he was trying to throw the envelope into the sea, and the other was during George Sr.'s funeral with his "coffin trick". Actually the whole episode "Good Grief" was one of my favorites.

Of course, the scene in a movie that made me laugh the hardest as in "jaw dropping to the floor, I can't beleve they got away with this" was the reveal in CLERKS that Catilin had inadvertently fucked a dead guy in the bathroom. I'm hoping that CLERKS 2 has a scene similar to that.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"There's only one "Return" ok, and it ain't "of the King", it's "of the Jedi."

"Maybe we should start calling your friend 'Padme' because he loves 'Mannequin Skywalker' so much, Right? (imitating robot) Danger...danger...my name is Anakin...my shitty acting is ruining saga."

Excerpt of internet teaser for CLERKS 2.

FALLENANGEL

Thursday, May 4, 2006 5:01 AM

Anything byt Kevin Smith. Especialy Mallrats and Clerks. I love those movies.

Clerks
[after losing a hockey ball from the roof]
Dante Hicks: "Are there any balls down there?"
Jay: "About the biggest pair you ever seen, dingleberry!"

Randal Graves: "People say crazy shit during sex. One time I called this girl 'Mom'."

Randal Graves: "Why don't you join her and make a little bathroom bam bam?"
Dante Hicks: "I love your sex talk. It's so kindergarten. "Poo poo". "Wee wee". "
Randal Graves: "Fuck you."

Mallrats
Brodie: "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned for Sega."

Brodie: "You fuckers think just because a guy reads comics he can't start some shit?"

Brodie: "You're giving up? You? You used to be stand-up guy, what happened to him? The guy who punched Amanda's gross-out mother after she called him 'low class'. "
T.S. Quint: "That wasn't me. It was you."
Brodie: "Oh, yeah."
T.S. Quint: "And it wasn't her mother, it was her grandmother."
Brodie: "No wonder the bitch went down so fast."

Brodie: "Hey, look at that ring. What is that?"
Jared Svenning: "That is, um, my Junior College class ring. Cum Laude, '69. "
Brodie: "I also hope to cum loud one day, preferably in a 69."

I have never laughed so hard during this movie. I love Brodie! God I love this movie.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
People don't like to be meddled with. We tell them what to do, what to think, don't run, don't walk. We're in their homes and in their heads and we haven't the right. We're meddlesome.

FALLENANGEL

Thursday, May 4, 2006 5:07 AM

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
People don't like to be meddled with. We tell them what to do, what to think, don't run, don't walk. We're in their homes and in their heads and we haven't the right. We're meddlesome.

KHYRON

Thursday, May 4, 2006 5:27 AM

I can't believe nobody has mentioned anything by Mystery Science Theater 3000 yet. I haven't seen too many episodes, but most of the ones I did see were hilarious!

Devil Doll:
"England, the land of jug-earred, chinless stomach-eaters." "Well, at least they aren't French." -Tom Servo/Crow.

Riding with Death:
"For some reason, this film was a hit with elderly black women and Hispanic lesbians." -Mike.

Revenge of the Creature:
"Now stand up" "And...evolve!" -scientist/Tom Servo (as scientist talking to chimpanzee).

Space Mutiny:
"A severely retarded jellyfish could make a better movie than this." -Tom Servo.
"Get a bunch of women together and it's always witchery or a wedding shower." -Crow.
"I think it's very nice of you to give that dead woman another chance." -Crow (as 'Sting', after a woman that was killed appears in the very next scene).
"You know, they shouldn't have set their phasers to miss." -Mike.

The Pumaman:
"Soundtrack by my little brother's Casio." -Crow.

And many other great lines. Ahh, good times...

Other people can occasionally be useful, especially as minions. I want lots of minions.

DOWIE100

Thursday, May 4, 2006 11:26 AM

Jaynestown full stop.

Also Faulty Towers "The Germans" such a funny episode.

"you started it!"
"No We didn't YOU invaded Poland"

Lol classic episode, anyone else like Faulty Towers.

"You can't take the sky from me"

RHODRI

Thursday, May 4, 2006 11:31 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Dowie100:
Jaynestown full stop.

Also Faulty Towers "The Germans" such a funny episode.

"you started it!"
"No We didn't YOU invaded Poland"

Lol classic episode, anyone else like Faulty Towers.

"You can't take the sky from me"

AUSSAY

Thursday, May 4, 2006 12:29 PM

Pretty much every episode of Futurama

Series 4 & 5 of the Simpsons ("The Frogurt is also cursed")

The Osama Bin Laden outakes bit in Family Guy.

The bit where Stewie is in plastic ball and then he has a flashback of an old Seasame Street pinball scene in Family Guy

All of Anchorman

The Rex Kwan Do bit in Napoleon Dynamaite

As mentioned before Fawlty Towers and 3rd Rock from the Sun (especially the episode where Dick takes up smoking)

"Merman *cough cough* MERMAN!" from Zoolander

'Stonehenge' in Spinal Tap

Tim Curry in Clue

Series 1 of 'Little Britain'

One day.
One mission.
One army of Browncoats.
On June 23rd, we aim to misbehave.
http://serenityjune23rd.com/

THESOMNAMBULIST

Thursday, May 4, 2006 1:06 PM

Just about anything in Bad Santa

That film split my sides - sooo wrong yet funny for it.

The
Somnambulist

www.cirqus.com

DC4BS

Thursday, May 4, 2006 11:17 PM

Wow.

All these posts and noone mentioned the classic:

'Murder by Death'

It's MUCH better when seen with a large group of good friends... Laughter is contagious. We had to pause it several times when we watched it in my dorm room at school so people could breath (about 10 of us packed in cause we had the biggest TV).

Loads of great actors and great lines.

"Now, come back for honorable father!"

"Oh, don't mind that. It's just the cat."

"Good God! Gas!"
"I'm Sorry"
"No, I mean the deadly kind!"
"Well, Sometimes I..."

"What, you had bunz and you did not tell me!"

"I'm a Belgie, NOT a Frenchy!"

"Nobody move till I get back! Sometimes I talk so much I forget to go..."

At least half the lines in the movie are quotable.

PURE GENIUS!

------------------------------------------
dc4bs

AMYLISAI

Friday, May 5, 2006 12:24 AM

The Court Jester is definitely my favorite funny movie! I've seen it dozens of times since childhood--so usually I start laughing before the jokes because I know they're coming. It's totally appropriate for all ages as well, you can show it to your family. It's got Danny Kaye, Basil Rathbone as the villian (he played villians in many Errol Flynn movies that the Court Jester satirizes, so it's even more cool) and Angela Lansbury when she was young and beautiful. My mom first saw The Court Jester when she was pregnant with me. She laughed so hard, gasping, rolling on the floor, that my father ran in thinking she was going into labor!

Enjoy, Amylisai

PLATINUMMONGOOSE

Friday, May 5, 2006 12:43 AM

There's a great dark comedy called Eulogy, starring Zooey Deschanel, Hank Azaria, Ray Romano, Rip Torn, and quite a few others. The majority of the movie has you laughing fairly consistently all the way through, but not too many side-splitters until the end, when I thought I was going to DIE laughing. I won't spoil it, though, so go rent it. Go! Rent! Rent I say!

Also, the beans around the campfire sequence in Blazing Saddles should satisfy everyone's inner eight-year-old for eternity. :D

Does stand-up comedy count? 'Cause I'm a stand-up addict. Eddie Izzard is a god, Patton Oswalt and Lewis Black are awesome. Zach Galifianakis has the best deadpan one-liners:
"My brother has ADD which is weird because he drives a Ford Focus. I told my brother that joke but he didn't laugh because he got distracted by his shoelaces."
"I like to sit in public places and read the bible, and occasionally just laugh and say 'Oh, bullshit!'"
and my personal favorite: "I like to go to the Olive Garden alone on a Saturday night and have the waiter sing me the Happy Birthday song... and just sit there and cry."

REGINAROADIE

Friday, May 5, 2006 12:57 AM

Just to keep the Kevin Smith thing rolling, here is at least one moment from the remaining flicks not mentioned. I'm limiting myself to one to save time. I could very well post their entire screenplays.

CHASING AMY

Holden: (long lead up to this) You're in love with me.
Banky: (blank look on his face, then realizes) What?
Holden: You're attracted to me. Just as I am, kind of, attracted to you. I mean, it makes sense. We've known each other for so long, we have so much in common.
Banky: Well, I better get going. (gets up) Gotta catch the last couple minutes of "Little House".
(Holden kisses Banky. Eyes bug out, jaws drop, Banky's back on the couch)
Holden: It's something you're gonna have to live with. And that would explain your jealousy of Alyssa, your homophobia, you're sense of humor.
Banky: Jesus, just because a guy has a predeliction towards dick jokes...

DOGMA

Jay: You're breaking up with us? (pause) WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, LADY!!! YOU CAN'T JUST GO AROUND AND BREAKING PEOPLE'S HEARTS. I FELL IN LOVE WITH YOU, WE FELL IN LOVE WITH YOU. GUYS LIKE US JUST DON'T FALL OUT OF THE FUCKING SKY, Y'KNOW!!!
(A loud scream and a body falls to the ground. Bethany turns around. As the smoke clears, a naked black man is lying on the ground)
Jay: BEAUTIFUL, BIG TITTIED WOMEN JUST DON'T FALL OUT OF THE SKY, Y'KNOW!!!

JAY AND SILENT BOB STRIKE BACK

Fred lookalike: Let's kick 'em out. We got a mystery to solve.
Shaggy lookalike: The only mystery here is why we keep taking our cues from a dick in a neckerchief.
Frd lookalike: Keep it up, beatnick. I'll feed you to the fucking dog!!

JERSEY GIRL

[after talking to Gertie, after finding her with Brian without their pants on]
Ollie: Do you have any questions about what you saw?
Gertie: [thinking hard] Do you have what Brian has?
Ollie: Yes.
Gertie: [after thinking hard again] Is it as big as his?
Ollie: Sadly, yes.
Gertie: Can we rent a movie?
Ollie: (Quickly) Yes.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"There's only one "Return" ok, and it ain't "of the King", it's "of the Jedi."

"Maybe we should start calling your friend 'Padme' because he loves 'Mannequin Skywalker' so much, Right? (imitating robot) Danger...danger...my name is Anakin...my shitty acting is ruining saga."

Excerpt of internet teaser for CLERKS 2.

AMYLISAI

Friday, May 5, 2006 1:04 AM

Firefly fans have such good taste--it's been a pleasure reading through the funny memories here and thinking "on yes, loved that one!"

How about, funny things seen online?

An insipid song by a Romanian group reached international fame by being repeatedly parodied online. First check out the original music video here:

http://joi.ito.com/archives/2005/01/18/ozone_madness.html

Take a look at some of the parodies. Then, watch my favorite one:

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-1012239895370754726&q=LEGO

Some people have too much time on their hands--but thank heavens for us 'cause they're hilarious!!

Cheers, Amy

FIREFLYFOREVERX7

Friday, May 5, 2006 1:09 AM

I love Fawlty Towers!! One of my favorite shows. But my favorite part was in the second episode, I forget where it's called, when the door to the dinning room "disappears" and Basil is told: "Dont panic! Dont panic!" and he screams: "What else is there to do?!?!" lol that whole episode I was laughing so hard I was crying. Nice to find another Fawlty Towers fan :-)

CAROlYN*

FALLENANGEL

Friday, May 5, 2006 6:56 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by reginaroadie:
Just to keep the Kevin Smith thing rolling, here is at least one moment from the remaining flicks not mentioned. I'm limiting myself to one to save time. I could very well post their entire screenplays.

CHASING AMY

Holden: (long lead up to this) You're in love with me.
Banky: (blank look on his face, then realizes) What?
Holden: You're attracted to me. Just as I am, kind of, attracted to you. I mean, it makes sense. We've known each other for so long, we have so much in common.
Banky: Well, I better get going. (gets up) Gotta catch the last couple minutes of "Little House".
(Holden kisses Banky. Eyes bug out, jaws drop, Banky's back on the couch)
Holden: It's something you're gonna have to live with. And that would explain your jealousy of Alyssa, your homophobia, you're sense of humor.
Banky: Jesus, just because a guy has a predeliction towards dick jokes...

DOGMA

Jay: You're breaking up with us? (pause) WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, LADY!!! YOU CAN'T JUST GO AROUND AND BREAKING PEOPLE'S HEARTS. I FELL IN LOVE WITH YOU, WE FELL IN LOVE WITH YOU. GUYS LIKE US JUST DON'T FALL OUT OF THE FUCKING SKY, Y'KNOW!!!
(A loud scream and a body falls to the ground. Bethany turns around. As the smoke clears, a naked black man is lying on the ground)
Jay: BEAUTIFUL, BIG TITTIED WOMEN JUST DON'T FALL OUT OF THE SKY, Y'KNOW!!!

JAY AND SILENT BOB STRIKE BACK

Fred lookalike: Let's kick 'em out. We got a mystery to solve.
Shaggy lookalike: The only mystery here is why we keep taking our cues from a dick in a neckerchief.
Frd lookalike: Keep it up, beatnick. I'll feed you to the fucking dog!!

JERSEY GIRL

[after talking to Gertie, after finding her with Brian without their pants on]
Ollie: Do you have any questions about what you saw?
Gertie: [thinking hard] Do you have what Brian has?
Ollie: Yes.
Gertie: [after thinking hard again] Is it as big as his?
Ollie: Sadly, yes.
Gertie: Can we rent a movie?
Ollie: (Quickly) Yes.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"There's only one "Return" ok, and it ain't "of the King", it's "of the Jedi."

"Maybe we should start calling your friend 'Padme' because he loves 'Mannequin Skywalker' so much, Right? (imitating robot) Danger...danger...my name is Anakin...my shitty acting is ruining saga."

Excerpt of internet teaser for CLERKS 2.

DOGMA

Jay: "Yo man, tell me something about me."
Rufus: "You masturbate more than anyone on the planet."
Jay: "Aw fuck, everyone knows that. Tell me something nobody knows."
Rufus: "When you do it, you're thinking about guys."
a shocked Silent Bob stares at Jay
Jay: "Dude, not all the time."

Bethany: "What's he like?"
Metatron: "God? Lonely. But funny. He's got a great sense of humor. Take sex for example. There's nothing funnier than the ridiculous faces you people make mid-coitus."
Bethany: "Sex is a joke in heaven?"
Metatron: "The way I understand it, it's mostly a joke down here, too."

Jay: "I feel like I'm Han Solo, and you're Chewie, and she's Ben Kenobi, and we're in that fucked-up bar."

MALLRATS

At a Dating Game-like game show
Brandi: "Second suitor: if we were making whoopee, what sounds would you make?"
Brodie: "Wait, what's whoopee?"
Brandi: "You know, being intimate."
Brodie: "What? Like fucking?"

Brodie: "You've probably had a slew of women since her, am I right?"
Stan Lee: "Oh, lots of women. Jagger and me, we had a running contest to see who had the most. In fact, last time I checked I was way ahead."
Brodie: "DAMN that's hot!"

Jay is reading a Hustler. He shows a spread to Silent Bob
Jay: "Dude, this one looks like your mom."
Silent Bob nods

Brodie: "Most of the time I'm just talking out of my ass - or sticking my hand in it."

I love Kevin Smith movies.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
People don't like to be meddled with. We tell them what to do, what to think, don't run, d

PHOENIXROSE

Friday, May 5, 2006 10:26 AM

I could never, ever chose! I think so many things are funny that almost everythin I watch has a funny moment. Could I even remember them all? And if I did, could I type them all withut causing myself injury? Proably a no to both questions... I'll have to pick something to share.
We all know the Firefly funny, so I won't go into those, much as I love them.
Ah, way back in the day, I was an X-Files fan, and there was a moment I just loved in an episode called "Tooms" about a liver-eating mutant.
Tooms, working as an animal control officer or somesuch, starts stalking toward a potential victim, and agent Mulder just steps in front of him and deadpans "Excuse me." pause "Could you help me find my dog?" Tooms turns away, Mulder's talking to his back, "He's a norweigen elk hound. His name is Heinrich." Tooms is walking away and Mulder yells "I use him to hunt moose!"
I don't know why, but it gets me every time. Was a time all someone would have to do to set me off was say "Moose"
heeheeheeheehee... moose.
Oh yes, and Kevin Smith is classic, loved those moments too. See? Just too many to list...

*************************************************
One summer.
One mission.
One legion of Browncoats.

Starting June 23rd, we aim to misbehave.

THUNDER

Friday, May 5, 2006 10:55 AM

Evolution, were they remove the bug from the black guys but

COPILOT

Friday, May 5, 2006 11:47 AM

This is still the best. Find that kid taking a dirt nap with the baby Jesus. We need a hood ornament. Jayne try not to steal too much of their shit!

An I carried such a torch

AURAPTOR

Friday, May 5, 2006 12:20 PM

The Japanese game show, MXC (most extreme elimination challenge ) is w/ out a doubt the funniest thing I've ever seen.

But when I first read this thread , a scene from Wonderfalls popped into my mind. It's a scene where Jaye is driving really fast, trying to get somewhere. There's an air freshener/muse hanging from the rear view, and w/ out a word, Jaye grabs it and throws it out the window. As it falls away , you can hear it say... " but I didn't SAY anything! ", as Jaye drives off. Too damn funny.

People love a happy ending. So every episode, I will explain once again that I don't like people. And then Mal will shoot someone. Someone we like. And their puppy. - Joss

" They don't like it when you shoot at 'em. I worked that out myself. "

AURAPTOR

Friday, May 5, 2006 12:26 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by copilot:
This is still the best. Find that kid taking a dirt nap with the baby Jesus. We need a hood ornament. Jayne try not to steal too much of their shit!

An I carried such a torch

For no real reason, that scene came to mind the other day. I loved how Nathan just went with it and Adam was all like ' huh? '.

People love a happy ending. So every episode, I will explain once again that I don't like people. And then Mal will shoot someone. Someone we like. And their puppy. - Joss

" They don't like it when you shoot at 'em. I worked that out myself. "

MPHILLIPS

Friday, May 5, 2006 12:28 PM

And the episode where Basil,trying to get the meal and he's been having car problems..the thing just ecalates till he's beating the car with a tree..omg laff till I cry every time

REGINAROADIE

Friday, May 5, 2006 1:07 PM

I don't think I havn't seen that ep. I think I only saw the first few eps on FOX, and then the Jewel eps on VISION TV (why a network with a Christian slant decided to show WONDERFALLS, I will never understand).

But the one scene from that show that made me laugh uncontrollably was in the pilot was when Jaye chucked the initital talking trinket into the trash and for 24 hours nonstop, the thing is singing "Hello, my baby". The scenes an obvious homage to the Looney Tunes cartoon classic "One Froggy Evening". Anything that references Looney Tunes is a plus in my book, but for that scene, it couldn't be more perfect.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"There's only one "Return" ok, and it ain't "of the King", it's "of the Jedi."

"Maybe we should start calling your friend 'Padme' because he loves 'Mannequin Skywalker' so much, Right? (imitating robot) Danger...danger...my name is Anakin...my shitty acting is ruining saga."

Excerpt of internet teaser for CLERKS 2.

EMMARIGBY

Friday, May 5, 2006 1:10 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by AURaptor:
Quote:
Originally posted by copilot:
This is still the best. Find that kid taking a dirt nap with the baby Jesus. We need a hood ornament. Jayne try not to steal too much of their shit!

An I carried such a torch

For no real reason, that scene came to mind the other day. I loved how Nathan just went with it and Adam was all like ' huh? '.

I think this is my favorite line of all time! Along with "Put Shepherd Book's body up front. He was our friend and we should honour him" (or something like that)

The looks on their faces! Priceless!

FALLENANGEL

Monday, May 8, 2006 5:55 AM

DODGEBALL

"Argh. Steve's got to go drian the sea dragon."

-Still makes me laugh everytime.

SHAUN OF THE DEAD

"Who died and made you fucking king of the zombies?"- Ed

Liz: "You hang out with my friends? Sorry, a failed actress and a twat?"
Shaun: "Well, that's a bit harsh."
Liz: "Your words, Shaun!"
Shaun: "I did NOT call Dianne a failed actress!"

Shaun: "It's not that I don't wanna spend time with you, cause I do. It's just... Ed doesn't have too many friends."
Ed: "Can I get... any of you cunts... a drink?"

Shaun:about Ed "He's not my boyfriend!"
Ed: handing beer to Shaun "It might be a bit warm, the cooler was off."
Shaun: "Thanks, babe."
winks/I]

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
People don't like to be meddled with. We tell them what to do, what to think, don't run, don't walk. We're in their homes and in their heads and we haven't the right. We're meddlesome.