Sorry, double post...ignore this one
POSTED BY: patsrule
UPDATED: Thursday, May 18, 2006 20:09
VIEWED: 19459
PAGE 1 of 2
Sorry, double post...ignore this one
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The topic-less thread has returnethed!
I claim this thread in the name of random!
More insane ramblings by the people who brought you beeeer milkshakes!
And as you know, these are open forums, you're able to come and listen to what I have to say.
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I once saw a raccoon fall out of a tree.
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never tell us to ignore a thread...
empty threads are the best!
how can I get rid of pigeons?
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I can’t hear you, I’m ignoring this tread.
--------------------------------------------------
Who do you suppose is in there?
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Embers, why do you want to get rid of pigeons, they are so cute!
"You hold. Hold 'til I get back." Mal
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I once had a friendly skunk in my barn.
"You hold. Hold 'til I get back." Mal
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...holy mother of god and all her wacky nephews....
Random rules the roost.....
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My Dog got sprayed by a skunk. 3 times. Right in the mouth. You'd think he'd've learn after the first 2 times...
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Quote:
Originally posted by FourSkys:
My Dog got sprayed by a skunk. 3 times. Right in the mouth. You'd think he'd've learn after the first 2 times...
Maybe he likes skunk sprays... Some people juggle geese!!!
**************************
One day.
One mission.
One army of Browncoats.
On June 23rd, we aim to misbehave!
http://serenityjune23rd.com/
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Quote:Rats of the sky...
Originally posted by FollowMal:
Embers, why do you want to get rid of pigeons, they are so cute!
More insane ramblings by the people who brought you beeeer milkshakes!
And as you know, these are open forums, you're able to come and listen to what I have to say.
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Ahhh I see, the same as the grackles of the Midwest of America.
"You hold. Hold 'til I get back." Mal
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Boat-tail Grackles are lovely birds...
They splatter your car with big white turds....
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Yay! Empty thread...
Umm, trying to think of random here...
SPATULA's!
You can't get much more random than that!
*****
Taya
*****
Dark Angel, Firefly, Buffy, Angel, Enterprise, Farscape... anything else you'd like to cancel?
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Best Ralph Wiggum impression: "My cat's name is mittens."
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Turtles..
that might be slightly less random than spatulas though... I'll be back.
"You hold. Hold 'til I get back." Mal
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Quote:
Originally posted by FollowMal:
Turtles..
that might be slightly less random than spatulas though... I'll be back.
yeah...I'm thinking turtles are less random than spatulas because this is clearly becoming the animal thread...
even the 'ruling the roost' comment is kind of about animals....
what IS random? anyway?
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Quote:
Originally posted by FollowMal:
Turtles..
that might be slightly less random than spatulas though... I'll be back.
How about juggling turtles on spatulas with geese and a bowling ball?
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I always wore my helmet when riding my motorcycle, 'cause I didn't want to say that line that River said...
*gulp*Chrisisall
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I've brought Sparkles.He's my dancing gorilla.He's harmless,but don't laugh at his tutu.
Bryce
********************************************
I swallowed a bug.
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Quote:
Originally posted by embers:Quote:
Originally posted by FollowMal:
Turtles..
that might be slightly less random than spatulas though... I'll be back.
yeah...I'm thinking turtles are less random than spatulas because this is clearly becoming the animal thread...
even the 'ruling the roost' comment is kind of about animals....
what IS random? anyway?
Actually, I was referring to my Turtles, Milk Chocolate Candy sitting here on my desk that I got for Mother's Day and realized too late it'd be construed as an animal. Hmmmm, well..once again, my attempts at random are...uhhh, anyway, I'll be back.
"You hold. Hold 'til I get back." Mal
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Quote:
Originally posted by embers:
never tell us to ignore a thread...
empty threads are the best!
how can I get rid of pigeons?
I was told that it was my legal duty to move and clean up anything left by pigeons by the animal control people, they offered to come do it for lots of money. Guess the birds bring allot of sickness and other such nastiness, which supposedly gets a lot worse once they start nesting.
It was a dark and sad day I had to evict my free loading flying friends from my balcony. Course its sure does smell nicer now.
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Sporks! They're very randon, plus a very cool word.
Spoooooorks!!!
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Doubt, Summer 
We got us another empty thread to play with.
Joy oh joy and here I thought it would be another lonly day. Don't forget the Partidge in a Pear tree + it ain't even X-mas yet.
mata, Ookami yori
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the common box turtle is immune to attack...
he wears his armor on his back.....
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sporks are cool, no doubt, by far...
but i haven't a clue as to what the hell they are...
(please, for the love of mike, someone punch me..)
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Dear Dr Newland (new line)
Re Mrs Connor (comma)
We saw your patient Mrs Connor who presented in a coma And we think that what was wrong is a subdural haemotoma (comma)
Her history's a mystery, her GCS was 9
And she was on ventilation, now she's stable (stop, new line)
She had a broken neck of femur, broken neck and broken nose
She's now in neck fixation (open brackets) brackets (brackets closed)
We noticed her colostomy, her temporary nefrostomy
We did a laparoscomy 'cause we thought that (apostrophe)
'd be necessary to elucidate any problems underlying
(Underline, uh... "underlying", please, Angela)
She had trouble with her colon 'cause they found a mass had grown on it
However (semicolon) it turned out to be benign
And yet they did a large resection from her flexure to her rectum
That excision's a decision I don't understand (new line)
She has dysdiadokokinesis (that's spelt d-y-s-d-i-a-d-o-k-o-k-i-n-e-s-i-s, comma)
I should also really mention that she went into retention
With a urinary infection and her leg stuck in extension
(Correction, "flexion" - sorry, Angela)
She has a cerebellar tremor (comma) possible rubella
Dyspepsia, dyslexia and fractured left patella (comma)
We learned that she was burned so bad she had to have a graft
Now we're very happy how it looks (full stop, new paragraph)
(Oh, Angela, can you add that she's on warfarin in case she has another mini-stroke... stroke, stroke)
We organised an ECG and BCG quite recently
Her TSH and FSH were not yet back today
But her ESR and CRP should reassure us
So we'll see her back here in my clinic
Yours sincerely, Adam Kay
http://www.amateurtransplants.com/
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Quote:
Originally posted by Dayve:
sporks are cool, no doubt, by far...
but i haven't a clue as to what the hell they are...
(please, for the love of mike, someone punch me..)
A spork is a marriage 'twixt fork and spoon.
The madness of this sends me over the moon.
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I say a snorkle on your hedgehog man!
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I have no feet for coconuts to stand upon, there shall be no rest for the camel. Not until the butter falls from the sea for then, and only then shall the world be tree. Behind you is the world and the world is beneith you. The octupi are after your soul, beware the one eyed trout.
----------------
"We feel the pain of a lifetime lost in a thousand days,
Through the fire and the flames we carry on"
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Emma speaks of Moon and Spoon
does all this and it ain't even June.
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Quote:
Originally posted by Dayve:
the common box turtle is immune to attack...
he wears his armor on his back.....
according to Terry Pratchett eagles will grab hold of the box turtle, and drop it from a great height...to crack that shell.
which makes it a little less than immune. :(
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poems are nice when read aloud...
it makes the reader and author proud...
they wag their tails like a happy pup..
but i'm just making the stupid shit up...
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The cock crows when the purple dust is high.
Nocturnal swimming is what mama was saying.
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Yeah and so NOT in the Rhyme time thread! WTF is up with that?
random random random whisper whisper whisper
wink wink nudge nudge say no more eh say no more
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I shall spork you!!!!! Untill you're guts hang down to the floor and the nice men in white coats come and take me away. I like them they smell like lemon pledge and whisky.
Yummmmmmm Lemon Pledge!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
An I carried such a torch
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Quote:
Originally posted by Dayve:
Random rules the roost.....
I once had a god named Random.
I've got no idea where she is now, gods are unpredictable.
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haven't you seen the new God enclosure. It has an electrified fence and everything. Keep that God where you can find her!
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Quote:Spork you to!
Originally posted by copilot:
I shall spork you!!!!! Untill you're guts hang down to the floor and the nice men in white coats come and take me away. I like them they smell like lemon pledge and whisky.
Yummmmmmm Lemon Pledge!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
An I carried such a torch
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Quote:
Originally posted by FutureMrsFIllion:
haven't you seen the new God enclosure. It has an electrified fence and everything. Keep that God where you can find her!
I have a God that gets out all the time, FMF, thank you for this.
"You hold. Hold 'til I get back." Mal
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Spork you untill the cows come home to roost!!!!
An I carried such a torch
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Yep my god is always wandering off and bothering the neighbors thank ya'll for the tip
An I carried such a torch
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I spork you and follow with a quick swipe of a SKORT agaisnt your head!
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Well now if we're gonna whip out the skorts!!!
An I carried such a torch
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You are very welcome FollowMal my friend. For verily I say unto you - A God is a terrible thing to lose...or is that your mind? Or do I mind if you lose it? Or am I in fact God?
I dunno. I need chocolate. Chuck us a turtle or two sweetie :)
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Quote:
Originally posted by FutureMrsFIllion:
Emma speaks of Moon and Spoon
does all this and it ain't even June.
Don't get me started on cows and jumping
Cos that would be leadin g to rhymes most stumping
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and I pelt you with those little plasticy things on the end of a shoelace! Take that! and That! Ah hah!
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you guys are cool
and kinda crazy..
but i must nap,
because i'm lazy...
may the spork be with you
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Quote:I shall spork you till your entrails become your extrails, I'll spork...
Originally posted by copilot:
Spork you untill the cows come home to roost!!!!
An I carried such a torch
Sporking! Lots of Sporking!
*Sporking is beginning to sound like something other than intended...*
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Quote:
Originally posted by FutureMrsFIllion:
haven't you seen the new God enclosure. It has an electrified fence and everything. Keep that God where you can find her!
Well the idea is nice and all, but "electrified fence"? Isn't that a bit harsh?
She ain't exactly helpless and she needs to learn to stand on her own, I figure I'll let her run free. Especially since I don't know where she is is and even if I did it would be hard to get her into the thing.
I mean have you ever tried to overpower a god? It's not easy, if she doesn't want to go in she isn't going in.
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Ahhhh my eye my eye!!! I've got a nasty skort abrashion on my toe!!!!!
Yep and damn it god got out again. It's gonna take forever to find her! This enclosure is just not working properly. Maybe I installed it wrong. Instuction manual here I come.
An I carried such a torch
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Quote:
Originally posted by Dayve:
you guys are cool
and kinda crazy..
The only way to be.
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Oh yes the sporking shall continue untill moral improves!!!
An I carried such a torch
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To Boldly set Spork where no Skreet has laid Skort before.
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Quote:
Originally posted by FutureMrsFIllion:
Or am I in fact God?
Like the man said, "Thou art God."
Which reminds me, everyone read Stranger in a Strange Land.
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Quote:
Originally posted by christhecynic:Quote:
I mean have you ever tried to overpower a god? It's not easy, if she doesn't want to go in she isn't going in.
Ah I see the problem! You just need a God neutralizing compound! You can get those anywhere God supplies are sold.
Silly rabbit! Tricks are for kids
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Well I don't dislike her or anything, and she doesn't act up, she just goes missing, so do I really want to neutralize her? Or lock her up for that matter?
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Yes and now we must kill you and eay you so that we may absorb your essence!
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I grok Stranger in a Strange Land.
"You hold. Hold 'til I get back." Mal
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I'm not discorporeating until I'm good and ready.
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The god outlet here is going out bussiness! I've got to stock up on god feed and god treats. 50% off if anyone's interested in a good deal. 70 miles to the only other store too! Looks like I'll have to buy all my supplies online now. Damn! It's the shipping cost that really get you.
An I carried such a torch
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And grok the essence that is you.
"You hold. Hold 'til I get back." Mal
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Quote:
Originally posted by FollowMal:
I grok Stranger in a Strange Land.
Well said.
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I got a truck CoPilot.. betcha I can haul all your God goodies cheaper.
"You hold. Hold 'til I get back." Mal
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Quote:
Originally posted by copilot:
Damn! It's the shipping cost that really get you.
Anyone remember that bit in the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy?
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Thanks FollowMal! I can pay for gas and something for milage. I live on the darkside of the moon so I don't maybe 10 cents a mile?
An I carried such a torch
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I don't know about you people, but I prefer my Christhecynic essence fried, not poached.
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You say you spork me! Well I say I stab at you with my winkelmesser!
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There's a guide?!? Is is avalible in paper back yet? And silly me I've been doing it all on my own! Perhaps there's a towel outlet near me mine is getting a little raggity. Opps silly me going off topic
An I carried such a torch
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Yes my christhecynic essence must be fried! Poaching is bad for the digestive tract.
An I carried such a torch
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I can't believe you all were going to let this thread of random slip off the front page originally. 
Shame Shame for the slipage of the thread!
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All hail the right knowing Citizen. For he saw the random thread and saved it from its slipage. For he is the random one and he shall be praised!
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I say poach him with some fava beans and serve with a nice Bordeaux (not a fan of white wine!)
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The slipage has been properly sporked!
An I carried such a torch
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I am a fully paid up member of team random 
Seriously I have a mug and everything:
http://www.twisted-imaginings.com/Share/mug.JPG
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Have you ever had christhecynic essecene pan fried with a little garlic and fennel? (insert chef finger kissing move here)
Penny for the person who can name that movie.
An I carried such a torch
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*runs through the thread covering his head*
SKY'S FALLING!!!
Holding until you get back, Captain.
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Is that mug avalible in the gift shop?
An I carried such a torch
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I leave one thread and you're a God and a Demon, I come to another thread and they are worshipping you here to.
How do you do it, Citizen?
Uhhh, do you have like a uhhh....sub-God position open? I might like being worshipped.
"You hold. Hold 'til I get back." Mal
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He went to the God supply store and bought the "worshipper" bait spray.
I hear it smells like crotch!
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It's the Mug, never underestimate the powers of a random mug.
We have a position in the Lightning bolt department, random lightning strikes?
Quote:No no, that's just me. Ran out of soap.
I hear it smells like crotch!
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This a democratic state of random you must submit your application for sub god status at the main office in the box marked requests. Someone will contact you in 7seconds to 56 years as to the status of your status requests status.
An I carried such a torch
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CoPilot, you forgot that it has to be in triplicate on goose feather paper!
sheesh
and HEY, I HIT YOU with my winkelmesser! Are you not hurt, impressed, mildly amused?
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I see my lowly spatula cannot compete with the masterful spork.
Oh well. I hearby sell all my shares in the spatula factory inc!
Wait... All this money... the power... the prestige... I feel almost sub-godlike!
It would appear FollowMal was right! Such a position does exist!
*****
Taya
*****
I'm going to S3!!!
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OOOOOH My tarantula is in love with your spatula.
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You're winklemesser did muss my hair a bit but you're aim is off. I suggest you check your sight. Maybe bent a little to the left. Oh yes and you must triplicate your double posted triplicte or you're request will be automatically filed under sub deamon. It's unfortunate but our secretary is lets say a little "special"
An I carried such a torch
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Quote:
Originally posted by copilot:
Opps silly me going off topic
There's a topic?
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I ride the special bus! can I be secretary? Can I? Can I? I mean i DID make THE LIST!
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I wouldn't sell your shares just yet. I've heard rumors oh a spatula spork merger.
An I carried such a torch
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Quote:
Originally posted by FollowMal:
Uhhh, do you have like a uhhh....sub-God position open? I might like being worshipped.
I waas a prophit once, so I created a long list of silly commandments to drive my followers away. I just wish I had collected tithes first.
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It is the rule with drunkards to fall upon one another, to fight and squabble and make tumult.
-RUMI
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Still have that list around?
Yes you must collect the tiths before the sermon! Anyone who's ever headed a cult knows that one! It's in the hand book. You do have the hand book don't you? It's avalible on Amazon I believe the title is How to Create a Cult for Fun and Profit.
An I carried such a torch
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I thought you had to collect the tithes before you passed out the kool-aid?
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Quote:
Originally posted by citizen:
We have a position in the Lightning bolt department, random lightning strikes?Quote:
Ahaaaa, that sounds mighty fine to me!
Better than a sub-god.
"You hold. Hold 'til I get back." MalNOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME
Quote:The cult of Browncoat?
Originally posted by copilot:
You do have the hand book don't you? It's avalible on Amazon I believe the title is How to Create a Cult for Fun and Profit.
Gosling juggling optional.
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For no reason whatsoever here are the commandments, along with their authors if it matters (Pipin was my head priest):
Perhaps I should point out that most of these are not actually commandments. Consider it pointed out.
Also, I'm not the one who recorded these.
Commandments:
1: Relax
2: Give money to me.
2: Don't listen to others
3: Don't ask why there are two number twos.
4½: Don't ask why there is a 4½ but not a 4. (or a 3½ or ...)
5: Wait, you're recording this?
(Pipin)6.2: Thou shall sleep while sleeping.
8: Wait, what happened to 7? Oh wait I have to think of something...
This is another funny number: Enjoy yourself, life sucks.
9 or 10: Live free ...or don't.
7, oh here it is: There are no gods but ours... and other peoples gods... and those other gods no one cares about.
(Yet again, Pipin)11: If you have pizza, and your neighbor doesn't point and laugh.
13, I like that number: If you sit in the chair ...
12: What do have a lightbright here?? That should be a commandment right there.
15: Keep this up we'll have a religion in a year and when you two graduate we'll have some followers, maybe two or three.
16: If I were a commandment what would I be?
((sigh) yet again Pipin.)17: Tho shall wear clothes uless naked
18: Keep on writing until we run out of ideas or paper. If we run out of paper, get more paper.
19: No, no the answer is yes!
21: When I doubt, go left.
22: if we get to 30 put in 20 after.
(Pipin and Chris)23: If you slept with more than one person, Good for you!
24: You will worship anyone you want, unless it's not me... what the hell, have fun.
25: Hang on a minute.
26: From now on "this way" is left, and "that way" is right.
27: Ok you can continue now.
28: The answer is ... let's see ... carry the pi... yes.
29: Tho shall play the M game.
30: Ye shalt not judge another by his/her/it's spelling.
(Pipin) 20: It is not how big, but how often.
(Chris, in response to 20)31: What?!
(Pipin, in response to 20)32: Wait don't write that.
33: Pi is line line squiggle.
34 (For now at least): Oh by the way, read this backwards.
Needless to say it succeeded and I am no longer at the center of a religion.
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Quote:
Originally posted by FutureMrsFIllion:
I thought you had to collect the tithes before you passed out the kool-aid?
Wouldn't it be more profitable to raid the bodies afterward? I mean that way you know no one is holding out.
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The cult de Browncoat indeed!
I believe the order of a proper worship service is Tith-Semon-Kool aid or at least that's how I conducted them. It's a personal choice but for me that produced the best results.
An I carried such a torch
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By the way, now might be a good time to point out that when people ask me what I would do if I ruled the world for a day my response is very simple:
Collect Taxes.
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People should not be asked to drink the kool aid until after they've given you all their money. I made that mistake the first time.
More insane ramblings by the people who brought you beeeer milkshakes!
And as you know, these are open forums, you're able to come and listen to what I have to say.
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