Male and Female Imponderables--Yet Again

POSTED BY: Tristan
UPDATED: Thursday, June 15, 2006 20:08
VIEWED: 17001
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TRISTAN

Tuesday, June 13, 2006 12:56 PM (P)

Not sure which number we're on, but we keep on going!
To those that are coming here for the first time, this is a place to pose all those questions about the opposite sex that have been nagging you. Post away, and you will get a response!

Thank you to everyone who has posted so far!

____________

TRISTAN

Tuesday, June 13, 2006 1:54 PM (P)

Ok, somehow I managed to bury my own thread...

So, bumping it up above the other Imponderables thread...

____________

DEEPGIRL187

Tuesday, June 13, 2006 2:05 PM (P)

Here's an imponderable:

I've heard about this from a few people. Has anyone had the experience of having one partner that is always cold and one that is always hot? Is this common?

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It's just an object. It doesn't mean what you think.

FUTUREMRSFILLION

Tuesday, June 13, 2006 2:08 PM (P)

I am always cold. But I don't have a partner

I have one. Fellow women - WHY would you EVER choose a man over your children? I just don't get this. Why does our society create women that NEED a man, no matter how disgusting, to feel worthy?

I am on The List. We are The Forsaken and we aim to burn!
"We don't fear the reaper"

MAL4PREZ

Tuesday, June 13, 2006 2:08 PM (P)

Definitely - I'm always cold, low body temp. Which makes it especially nice to snuggle, as every boyfriend I've had is warmer than me!

-----------------------------------------------
I'm the president. I don't need to listen.

ELOISA

Tuesday, June 13, 2006 2:15 PM (P)

Maybe the hot-cold thing is like choosing partners whose body scent is very different from yours - another sign that the person is genetically dissimilar enough from you to make good babies. Not sure. As for the women, kids and men question, ick. I just feel that if women's personalities are like that, they shouldn't have kids at all. At least they'd avoid hurting the little things.

This is a question that may have been asked before but I haven't seen in its precise form (not that I've had time to read the whole of the other threads). I noticed a mention on the last thread of the male "ladder theory". Admittedly a few male posters debunked it. Guys who didn't, what's your general reaction to come-ons from women quite far down the ladder?

***
http://forums.ffonline.com/forumdisplay.php?f=19
Creative Writing

DEEPGIRL187

Tuesday, June 13, 2006 2:15 PM (P)

My guess would be poor upbringing, FMF. If you're raised in an environment where children are not valued, then it's likely you'll adopt the same beliefs. And so, a negative cycle is established.

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It's just an object. It doesn't mean what you think.

FUTUREMRSFILLION

Tuesday, June 13, 2006 2:22 PM (P)

I am a bad person. She threatened to kill herself on my doorstep and I offered to help her find a way.

I will burn in hell for sure!

I am on The List. We are The Forsaken and we aim to burn!
"We don't fear the reaper"

MSG

Tuesday, June 13, 2006 2:25 PM (P)

Deepgirl- yes I swear no matter what season we are always battleing for turning up or down the air conditioning and heater. I swear there is some car out there that has dual climate controls and I bet it was made by some engineer whose spouse drove him nuts over what temp to have in the car.

Future Mrs... Not sure why they do it, only know they should be poked repeatedly with a sharp stick to retrain them or kill them ( whatever works)

Ok and I have a questions. When it comes to cleaning the bathroom, guys do you really think it looks clean enough or do you know it's not clean and you just don't want to have to do it???Because seriously...that's not clean. All surfaces actually have to have no ick on them before it's clean.

You're only young once, but you can be immature any time!

TRISTAN

Tuesday, June 13, 2006 2:28 PM (P)

I am always the one that is hot...at night, I need the AC and fan going. My wife likes to be warm, so she has two quilts on her side of the bed...and still manages to steal what little cover I start with! I think it may be common...most of the women I have dated/shared a bed with have been the cold-natured ones; they need warmth where I didn't. Only met a few that liked the temperature as cold as I did.

I am not a follower of the "ladder" theory, but I generally tried not to turn down anyone. However, I never really received that many come-ons to begin with...guys aren't usually as lucky as you females are in that area...

____________

PHOENIXROSE

Tuesday, June 13, 2006 2:46 PM (P)

Okay, I'm just catching up on the other thread; boy did I miss a lot! Have to respond to something RugBug said, though, before I read more...
No, I do not like a challenge. I do not like games. I don't like feeling like I have to "catch" someone. If they're interested I want to know about it and act accordingly depending on whether I'm interested; I don't want to dance around in the shit. That is not fun.
Okay, sorry. Going to catch up more now.

***********

RUGBUG

Tuesday, June 13, 2006 2:49 PM (P)

Quote:
Originally posted by FutureMrsFIllion:
I have one. Fellow women - WHY would you EVER choose a man over your children? I just don't get this. Why does our society create women that NEED a man, no matter how disgusting, to feel worthy?

Society puts a lot of rules on women that are just stupid. Being married, having children, those are all societal expectations. I can tell you that I am often treated like a freak because I don't want children. That decision MUST mean I am cold, uncaring and "not normal." Um, no. I just don't want kids. I like them well enough, would probably be a decent parent...I just don't WANT them. And I don't get all mushy about the yard apes. When a baby comes in the office, I don't feel the need to go see it. I don't want to hold it, and I certainly don't want to be left alone with it. Keep your chillin' to yourself, please.

As for women choosing men over kids. The kids should be taken away. I was watching Oprah (I was at the gym, not much choice) and the story was about a son who was sexually abused by his stepfather. The mother had divorced the man, but had then re-married him. That's just WRONG. Massivly low self-esteem in that woman.

Coldness: Yes. I am almost always cold. Feet especially. And if my feet aren't warm, I can't sleep. I do like to sleep with the window open, though. Even in winter. Cold room, warm bed.

PHOENIXROSE

Tuesday, June 13, 2006 3:07 PM (P)

OK, I am caught up on the "ladder" discussion and I have to say... I have a man's ladder. Yes, yes I do. At least at first. Does it make me shallow that I tend to become friends with people that I have a least a slight interest in sleeping with? It doesn't always stay that way, but it usually starts out that way. Unless it's a friend I met through someone else kind of thing. If it's someone I meet while I'm out and about and I talk to them and am friendly, there is usually a thought resembling "There is something sexy about you" in the back of my mind. And under the right circumstances, ladder jumping is possible; probably because of the initial attraction I tend to feel.
Chocolate raspberry creams are goooood...
Ghostrider, it is your decision, but if you've been pursuing the woman for that long it might be time to look elsewhere. Don't give up on her out of hand, but don't turn down other opportunities, whether they are "buddies" or the genuine article. Just my two cents.
I am with RugBug in not wanting kids. Not now, possibly not ever, though I can't be sure of that. I would need to know I was ready to take care of them, and that they would have a really good daddy.
Yes, Copilot, I wish it were as easy to connect in real life as it is on the net. Did anyone see my thing WAY back when about how shiny it would be if there were, like, teleport booths on every corner that would transport us all to a secret location so we could talk in real life and hang out?

I had a question, but it slipped from my brain...

My temp fluctuates a little; I do tend to like it warmer rather than colder. Most of my partners thus far have had similar preferences.

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TRISTAN

Tuesday, June 13, 2006 3:15 PM (P)

MSG, I am an absolute fanatic when it comes to cleaning the bathroom. I do not know why, as I am not that freaked about the rest of the house. I go so far as to wash the walls and ceilings with a bleach compound. To give you an idea, it takes me four to five hours to clean an 8X6 foot bathroom...and I can spend the same amount of time cleaning a living room/dining room, kitchen, den, and bedrooms. So, yes, I think I do know when it's clean

That leads me to a question for the females: do you find that males are not good housekeepers? Do you have to go behind them and repair what they started?
On the flip-side; are there any males out there who feel the same way about the females?

____________

FUTUREMRSFILLION

Tuesday, June 13, 2006 3:16 PM (P)

MSG

Its not just the bathroom! How bout the kitchen! Men do you REALLY think that "cleaning the kitchen" constitutes pushing all the crap against the back of the counter?

I am on The List. We are The Forsaken and we aim to burn!
"We don't fear the reaper"

MSG

Tuesday, June 13, 2006 3:17 PM (P)

Ok stop taunting me with chocolate....argh!! Anyway, Nv I hope everything works out for you, but if it doesn't the offer still stands to shave her head ,ruin her day, and just grenerally make her very sorry;)
Rugbug- hey I see no reason why you should have to have kids. I really wanted them, but my husband's in your camp so I just enjoy me niece and nephew a ton and to mother my students ( who desperately need it) Just because I don't have kids doesn't mean I don't have kids:)
As for the ladder, I have mostly male friends and I have to say I would agree on the difficult to jump a ladder thing, but mainly because I know my friends too well to ever consider dating them ( best friend is a guy I've known since I was 4)

Tristan- oh my god Ihope your wife thanks her lucky stars every day!! Anyway yes I do re-clean after I have pointed out the unclean parts, but all that seems to achieve is an "I don't know what you are talking about" look and some snotty comments about stuff I don't do well.

You're only young once, but you can be immature any time!

EMMARIGBY

Tuesday, June 13, 2006 3:22 PM (P)

About the kids, I always said that I never wanted them ever. Now, nearing 28, I feel that maybe I want one a little tiny bit. Unfortunately you can't just have a little tiny bit of a kid so I'll stick with encouraging my sisters to procreate. Then I can be the cool auntie and give them back when they get smellie! My sister is 36 and struggling to get pregnant at present so I may end up having her kid for her (I'm willing, she thinks it's weird!) How would you guys feel about that?

________________________________
Hisssssss!

PHOENIXROSE

Tuesday, June 13, 2006 3:23 PM (P)

My stepdad is a superb housecleaner when he's in the mood. The problem (before we all moved and got separate bathrooms) was that he would "clean off" the counter - literally. All my contact stuff, my hairbrush, and other such essentials I used every single day were tucked away somewhere. It drove me mad. But he did clean the bathroom in a Tristan-like fashion (minus bleach cuz the fumes would linger for days).

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PHOENIXROSE

Tuesday, June 13, 2006 3:27 PM (P)

Quote:
Originally posted by EmmaRigby:
About the kids, I always said that I never wanted them ever. Now, nearing 28, I feel that maybe I want one a little tiny bit. Unfortunately you can't just have a little tiny bit of a kid so I'll stick with encouraging my sisters to procreate. Then I can be the cool auntie and give them back when they get smellie! My sister is 36 and struggling to get pregnant at present so I may end up having her kid for her (I'm willing, she thinks it's weird!) How would you guys feel about that?

________________________________
Hisssssss!

I wouldn't mind someone being an incubator for me if I really wanted kids and couldn't do it myself. (Hell, I've talked to pregnant women; I might just want to avoid going through that!!) No really, though, if I could and really wanted them, it would be good to carry them myself. But I think it's sweet you're willing to go through that for your sister!
My aunt spent lots and lots of money to have her little girl...

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ELOISA

Tuesday, June 13, 2006 3:33 PM (P)

I'm a horrendous cleaner. I'll clean house once every month or so, unless there's a particular reason to do so early. Something just needs to look pretty hygienic to satisfy me. Lavatory's an exception. Need a clean loo at all times. I'm afraid it tends to be my intermittently visiting sister or even more intermittently visiting ex-flatmate who tends to clean up for me...

I blame my father, who hates mess in any form but whose method of cleaning is to complain and yell till someone else does it. I have a similar reaction to making lists - he relies on them, I won't even do shopping lists. Is that a guy thing?

***
http://forums.ffonline.com/forumdisplay.php?f=19
Creative Writing

NVGHOSTRIDER

Tuesday, June 13, 2006 3:34 PM (P)

Good morning all. Not much to say except thanks for the support. Indeed, I have not yet thrown in the towel with Ms. Incedible. But, I will press forward with my own life. As for the offers of thuggery and meanness, I may have to get back to y'all on that. So keep the shavers handy and engine warm. I still have chocolate and beer. We may need to throw a shaving party.

Jayne: I was gonna get me an ear too.

MSG

Tuesday, June 13, 2006 3:58 PM (P)

Hey have the clippers all ready and standing by. We don't hate her ( unless she messes you up) we just want you to be happy NV

You're only young once, but you can be immature any time!

FUTUREMRSFILLION

Tuesday, June 13, 2006 4:02 PM (P)

I am at your service. I need to kick some ass.

I have a question manly men:

OK so this guy contacts me after the "lets put mom on the personals" thing. We email back and forth, he gives me his number. I explain that I am sick and sound like a frog, but will call when I can. Couple emails more. Everything is cool. A week goes by - I emailed him yesterday and left a voicemail. No response so far. So at what point do I decide he has blown me off.

On another note - how depressing to be blown off the first time out after 20 years! LOL

I am on The List. We are The Forsaken and we aim to burn!
"We don't fear the reaper"

MSG

Tuesday, June 13, 2006 4:13 PM (P)

I wouldn't assume that yet. Could be out of town, could be cell phone is dead, could be alot of things. That said, keep yourself out there and keep looking. I am sure you will find lots of guys who are interested:)

You're only young once, but you can be immature any time!

FUTUREMRSFILLION

Tuesday, June 13, 2006 4:15 PM (P)

I do not wish to sound conceited. I was EBOMBED by "interested" men. But alas, only 2 were "interesting" and NONE was FMrF.

I am on The List. We are The Forsaken and we aim to burn!
"We don't fear the reaper"

PHOENIXROSE

Tuesday, June 13, 2006 5:08 PM (P)

Quote:
Originally posted by FutureMrsFIllion:
I was EBOMBED by "interested" men. But alas, only 2 were "interesting"

I know how that goes!

The bane of internet dating. Well, actually... The bane of all dating!

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NVGHOSTRIDER

Tuesday, June 13, 2006 7:31 PM (P)

PR, FMF, MSG: Not sure who said not to let this whole ordeal change me. It already has, that may be the reason I can't quit. My whole being is such ablaze right now I have no clue what to do next, (though I have already made up my mind). I may be in full brood mode right now. Took some time, but this too shall pass. May take the rest of the week off to adjust. Just have to avoid the manwhoring, though, it may be fun.

Jayne: I was gonna get me an ear too.

DEEPGIRL187

Tuesday, June 13, 2006 7:53 PM (P)

I know this is off topic, but is anyone else having trouble with the site? I couldn't log on for almost three hours, and now it's running slow. Course, I'm on a crappy computer at work, which may explain things.

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It's just an object. It doesn't mean what you think.

DAYVE

Tuesday, June 13, 2006 8:14 PM (P)

it's not just you... i think the server was down for a while....

DEEPGIRL187

Tuesday, June 13, 2006 8:21 PM (P)

Shiny, nice to know I'm not the only one.

**************************************************

Jayne: You wanna go, little man?
Wash: Only if it's someplace with candlelight.

DANFAN

Tuesday, June 13, 2006 8:39 PM (P)

Quote:
Originally posted by Eloisa:
I have a similar reaction to making lists - he relies on them, I won't even do shopping lists. Is that a guy thing?

Not necessarily. My wife was/is a MEGA-listmaker. It was she who reprogrammed me into organizing my life via lists. Now, I am a mere shadow of the man I once was... I am powerless to stop listing (writing, not leaning... although some days I also list to one side or the other).

Perhaps it is a predominantly masculine addiction and my wife merely served as an enabler...

TRISTAN

Tuesday, June 13, 2006 8:41 PM (P)

Ok, site seems to be back...I hate it when it does that...leaves me all alone in the black, no one to talk to, no friendly Browncoats around...

*ahem*
I am alright now.

FMF, never give up, never surrender!
NVGhostrider, engine is still warm, and it's not that far of a drive from Alabama to NV to get your back, is it?

____________

DEEPGIRL187

Tuesday, June 13, 2006 8:42 PM (P)

Definitely not a guy thing. Being the anal-retentive person that I am, I have a horrible compulsion to organize things, including making lists. I even organize my CD's alphabetically.

**************************************************

Jayne: You wanna go, little man?
Wash: Only if it's someplace with candlelight.

MSG

Tuesday, June 13, 2006 8:44 PM (P)

Tristan just let us know and we can just converge and show the obviously defective woman what we do to people like her.... I also hate when the site is down. It's like being cut off mid conversation or something. Anyway, I still think my idea to shave her bald is good. That'll take months to grow back and every time she looks in the mirror she will be reminded of her glaring stupidity in not seeing how great NV is!

You're only young once, but you can be immature any time!

TRISTAN

Tuesday, June 13, 2006 8:50 PM (P)

msg, I agree with the shaving idea...mess around with a fellow Browncoat's affections, will she?

____________

LIGHTMEDARK

Tuesday, June 13, 2006 8:51 PM (P)

Quote:
Originally posted by deepgirl187:
Here's an imponderable:

I've heard about this from a few people. Has anyone had the experience of having one partner that is always cold and one that is always hot? Is this common?

I don't know if it's common, but yeah, I've had that in one of my three relationships. In general, though, it's been like that in all three. I'm always hot (i'm like some sort of super heater, my side of the car is always fogged up).

On other things, I'm a good cleaner...perhaps to an alarming degree. I like uncluttered surfaces, so I do tend to put away things that probably shouldn't be.

On lists, I don't do them, but every gf I've had does (and so does my mom).

MSG

Tuesday, June 13, 2006 8:55 PM (P)

Yup Tristan nothing teaches a woman a lesson live stubble head...OK I hate sitting at my husbands computer he has an air conditioning vent right against the wall and has positioned it so it blows on you while you are at the keyboard. I am freezing right now!

You're only young once, but you can be immature any time!

RUGBUG

Tuesday, June 13, 2006 9:01 PM (P)

Ah, we're back! I thought IT had finally caught on to me and blocked FFF.net. I was more than a little worried there for a bit.

FMF: Although I am not a guy, I wrote a response to your question then promptly lost it. Basically it said don't sweat it. If he calls, emails, great. If not, no biggie. (I once had a guy disappear for about a month...We met on New Year's Eve and didn't get around to a date until Feb. I was done with him, but thought "why not?" Turns out one date was one too many, but you never know til ya try.)

Eloisa: Lists are EVIL. Eeeeee-Villllle. Hate 'em. My theory: If I have to make a list to remember something, I've got too much to do and therefore it should be forgotten. I made it through college this way. Never once wrote down a test or assignment due date. They gave me a degree, so it can't be a horrible system, can it?

PhoenixRose: back to game playing. I'm not into game playing, but there's a difference between playing games and wearing your heart on your sleeve.

MSG

Tuesday, June 13, 2006 9:07 PM (P)

Hey Rugbug I know I think we all had an eek moment as the screen faded to black. However your anti-list system does scare me just a bit:)

You're only young once, but you can be immature any time!

NVGHOSTRIDER

Tuesday, June 13, 2006 9:08 PM (P)

Shaking. Shaking bad. Just called Ms. Incredible to find a day to talk. Used my professional Big Boy voice and everything. Had to mention that now might not be the best time to "jaw" things over, (we are each in our respective offices). So she agreed to meet Friday with the reassurance of confirming that morning. This is I hope the last post on Ms. Incredible for at least until Monday. I am weary of the whole thing, and I am greatful for all of your support. Just had to relieve that tension in order to function. May go flirting this evening to tide me over until then. Just keep the clippers sharp and the engine warm.
TRISATAN: I may consider a road trip in your direction for FMF's sake, (see her latest log entry).

Jayne: I was gonna get me an ear too.

MSG

Tuesday, June 13, 2006 9:11 PM (P)

Good luck NV..all our clippers are on standby. Just remember if she can't see how great you are..she's roadkill:) So either way it's all good.
And yes I think we need to do something for FMF soonish...

You're only young once, but you can be immature any time!

RUGBUG

Tuesday, June 13, 2006 9:16 PM (P)

Quote:
Originally posted by msg:
Hey Rugbug I know I think we all had an eek moment as the screen faded to black. However your anti-list system does scare me just a bit:)

Heh...the anti-list theory is mine and mine alone. :insert evil laugh: Well, I did meet a professor who once had the same basic theory. 'Course he was 'splaining this to us after missing a class.

As I get older the theory is harder and harder to abide by, but it still hasn't failed me yet. I rarely forget to do something, so....

NVGHOSTRIDER

Tuesday, June 13, 2006 9:30 PM (P)

So I have an Imponderable for y'all. Who likes to cuddle? The last woman I cuddled with was my best friend, (female), in my truck. She seen that I had a growing interest in a co-worker and seemed to become very jealous. That night, she got very drunk and demanded that I take her for a drive. During the drive she was very grabby and affectionate like. So, ladies, does that whole jealousy thing factor in to some of your "plutonic" relationships. And if it does, then how. Just curious. (And also trying to change the subject of my current female problems).

Jayne: I was gonna get me an ear too.

MSG

Tuesday, June 13, 2006 9:39 PM (P)

I'm not really cuddly as a general rule, much to my husband's disappointment. However, I am sometimes in a cuddly mood when I'm mopey or cranky. I don't think jealousy is a good cuddling motivator. Cuddling with guys who are friends is more affectionate as far as I've seen( again I don't really like to cuddle)

You're only young once, but you can be immature any time!

LITTLEALBATROSS29

Tuesday, June 13, 2006 9:45 PM (P)

The only time I can cuddle is if I'm interested in someone.I am very affectionate, but it does not apply to friends.I have seen many other women be cuddly with their male friends & female ones too.I never understood that.It makes me very uncomfortable.

I can't see being jealous of a friends romantic interest in someone else. Is it possible that she has feelings for you that aren't so friendly like ?

Bryce
*************************************************

I swallowed a bug.

RUGBUG

Tuesday, June 13, 2006 10:07 PM (P)

NV, you've got too different questions there.

1. Who likes to cuddle? It's got to be someone I'm with or attracted to (and know well). I'm just not a "touchy" kind of person otherwise.

2. Jealousy in platonic relationships? Sometimes but it fades quickly. It takes a little "hey, he's mine. oh wait, I don't want him that way" and the jealousy is gone.

NVGHOSTRIDER

Tuesday, June 13, 2006 10:16 PM (P)

Strangely, alot of people liked to cuddle with me. That whole bear-like quality seems to do it. I like it. I do miss cuddling my nephew to sleep, (He is a very active child, hyper-active in fact). I do miss cuddling with the ex while she sang fab four songs and painted her nails, (Hyper active as well).

LA29: She and I have had conversations on the subject. Strangely we were very attracted to each other, just never met in the middle. Thats okay she is still my best friend.

Jayne: I was gonna get me an ear too.

EMMARIGBY

Tuesday, June 13, 2006 10:28 PM (P)

Oooh! I'm finally let back in!

I've been pining for you guys all evening!
I thought my computer was having an intervention to force me to do some work so I went off in a sulk instead!

Hmm, now that I'm here I feel I should contribute with something witty and profound.

Um.... um.. um... HIPPO!

Sorry, I panicked. (A quote from Coupling. Anyone watch? Very good program! Like Friends but with grown up issues and more sex)

________________________________
Hisssssss!

LIGHTMEDARK

Tuesday, June 13, 2006 11:05 PM (P)

Quote:
Originally posted by RugBug:
2. Jealousy in platonic relationships? Sometimes but it fades quickly. It takes a little "hey, he's mine. oh wait, I don't want him that way" and the jealousy is gone.

I'm like that, too.

EMMARIGBY

Tuesday, June 13, 2006 11:08 PM (P)

Sorry, back on topic now, promise (and hey, if no-one's gonna talk to me I'm quite happy to whitter away to myself 2 posts in a row!)

1) Cuddling. Strange, when I was a child I hated to be stroked or cuddled, now I can't seem to get enough of it! So much so that when a friend was over recently my parents became convinced we were an item just because I snuggled up to him a lot.

2) Jealousy in friendship. This is something I've been thinking about a lot recently as I got quite jealouse over a friend of mine. It confuses things a bit because I ocassionally sleep with him (in a light-hearted - just keeping in practice- sort of way). What puzzled me was that I felt less jealous when he told me he'd had sex with an ex-girlfriend than I do when he spends weeks staying over with our ex-flatmate. I think the thing is that I still have a lot of bitter feelings towards the latter (it got awfully unpleasant living with her towards the end) and possibly feel more threatened by her. If she demanded that he choose between us I know she'd win (he's known her since school) and I don't entirely trust her not to ever make that ultimatum.

Long ramdom dribble over now, I'd better go to bed!

________________________________
Hisssssss!

EMMARIGBY

Tuesday, June 13, 2006 11:12 PM (P)

Quote:

I'm like that, too.

Ooh! Thankyou! You saved me from the indignity of having 2 posts back to back (thereby showing I spend too much time here!). Oh, hang on... I think I might have overlooked something when rushing to thank you!

________________________________

Hisssssss!

NVGHOSTRIDER

Wednesday, June 14, 2006 12:29 AM (P)

Though you was feeling a touch of DP goodness. DP all you want, we love you EMMA!

P.S. A quick note. Recent realization says Ms. Incredible may be mentally unstable. That means its not me! SHINY SHINY SHINY SHINY SHINY SHINY SHINY SHINY SHINY SHINY SHINY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If no one caught that, I feel very shiny.

Jayne: I was gonna get me an ear too.

STILLFLYIN

Wednesday, June 14, 2006 12:49 AM (P)

On the issue of cuddling. First off, I will open myself up to ridicule by admitting that I do not, not have I ever had a girlfriend. That being said, I would enjoy simply cuddling with my girlfriend, if I ever find one, more than anything beyond that. This is due in part to my moral standards and to the fact that I would want a girlfriend who enjoyed simply being with me and I enjoyed being with here in a situation where neither is making demands on the other and we are simply being together.

NVGHOSTRIDER

Wednesday, June 14, 2006 12:56 AM (P)

No ridicule intended. None needed. I think cuddling is a great way to be close to a person without having any sexual intenntions. No demands. Just physical closeness. I love it.

Jayne: I was gonna get me an ear too.

PHOENIXROSE

Wednesday, June 14, 2006 7:11 AM (P)

Quote:
Originally posted by StillFlyin:
On the issue of cuddling. First off, I will open myself up to ridicule by admitting that I do not, not have I ever had a girlfriend. That being said, I would enjoy simply cuddling with my girlfriend, if I ever find one, more than anything beyond that. This is due in part to my moral standards and to the fact that I would want a girlfriend who enjoyed simply being with me and I enjoyed being with here in a situation where neither is making demands on the other and we are simply being together.

That pretty much sums me up (though I have had a boyfriend. And an almost-girlfriend.) Cuddling is nice. It's a great way to just be with each other, and makes me really feel loved. Almost more than anything else. I mean, you know, sex is good too, but it's really just not as much fun without lots of cuddling both before and after.
I think we've talked about this before, but it was on the second thread or thereabouts, so I don't mind going into it again; I LOVE to cuddle! I cannot get enough! I love touch, I just do. I am the most touchy-feely-huggy-cuddly person I've ever known. It saddens me that I've basically neer found anyone who likes to cuddle as much as I do. I could probably cuddle for hours and be happy as a cat in the sun, but I've never found anyone willing to do so. They all get bored and hyper. So unless they fall asleep (which has also happened) not so much, and it's not the same when the other person is sleeping.
Anyway, on to jealousy; I get mad jealous when my friends enter a relatinship. Mad, mad jealous. This is for a couple reasons, probably. One is that I do tend to be attracted to many of my friends. It makes me a little sad when they don't "choose" me, but I can generally think "Wait, would that actually work?" and be fine. Mostly, though, relationships eat time. I'll admit it; I didn't have nearly as much free time when I was in one as I do now. And every time a friend of mine is in a new one, I basically never see them. It is very hurty. I won't go in to the friend I basically lost because she had no time for me and also stopped confiding in me after she slept with her boyfriend. Wait, I guess I did kinda go into it. Oh well. So yes, I get the pangs of jealousy. I don't get drunk, of course, and I usually don't insist on being taken for a drive and cuddled; that's a kind of... non-platonic thing to do. At least in my book. Everyone's friendships work differently.
Whew, long post!
Hey, so all you shiny people who are gonna go to Nevada and shave this woman and stuff... I don't suppose you would want to stop in Colorado to put my ex through the engine? You know, if it wasn't too far out of your way...

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DEEPGIRL187

Wednesday, June 14, 2006 12:31 PM (P)

Quote:
Originally posted by StillFlyin:
On the issue of cuddling. First off, I will open myself up to ridicule by admitting that I do not, not have I ever had a girlfriend.

Morning, eveyone. Nothing to feel bad about. I've never had a boyfriend myself. And on the subject of cuddling, I've always been sort of weird about that. Sometimes I really want to be held, and sometimes I don't want anyone to touch me. As a rule, when I'm around touchy-feely kind of people, I tend to get paranoid. Just my own hang-up I guess.

**************************************************

Jayne: You wanna go, little man?
Wash: Only if it's someplace with candlelight.

EMMARIGBY

Wednesday, June 14, 2006 1:26 PM (P)

Quote:
Originally posted by nvghostrider:
Though you was feeling a touch of DP goodness. DP all you want, we love you EMMA!

P.S. A quick note. Recent realization says Ms. Incredible may be mentally unstable. That means its not me! SHINY SHINY SHINY SHINY SHINY SHINY SHINY SHINY SHINY SHINY SHINY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If no one caught that, I feel very shiny.

Jayne: I was gonna get me an ear too.

Ah! Thank you sweetie!
And of course anyone who isn't smitten with an instant realisation that you are fantastic is quite clearly clinically insane. (I keep telling myself that aw well. The world is full of mad people. They're all MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD i tell you!!!!) Cough... feeling better now. Sorry, for the scary glimpse inside my head!

________________________________

Hisssssss!

PHOENIXROSE

Wednesday, June 14, 2006 1:53 PM (P)

Yes, yes; they're all crazy except for you and me!

And sometimes I have my doubts about you...

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MAL4PREZ

Wednesday, June 14, 2006 2:04 PM (P)

Rugbug - I'm with you in the anti-list club.

OK, occasionally I make a list just to clarify things. Then I prompty lose the list. But there have been no disasters so far.

Cuddle? Looove to cuddle, but only with boyfriend. Kind of weird with others, as I like cuddling to involve things like ear-nibbling as well. And not lets have sex ear-nibbling, but... just fun. Does that make sense?

Jealousy? Not so much. Except when a romance steals a friend away, and I never get to see them. That's always sad.

Crazy? What's wrong with being crazy???

-----------------------------------------------
I'm the president. I don't need to listen.

RUGBUG

Wednesday, June 14, 2006 2:15 PM (P)

Quote:
Originally posted by PhoenixRose:
And every time a friend of mine is in a new one, I basically never see them. It is very hurty. I won't go in to the friend I basically lost because she had no time for me and also stopped confiding in me after she slept with her boyfriend.

I wouldn't call this jealousy, though, PR. I call it them being a bad friend. And why is it when they're single they always say something like, "Oh, I would never do that to my friends," and then BAM! they're gone. They just disappear and it's hard to not feel like you were filling time for them. I don't need to hang out with them all the time, but once a month would be nice.

EMMARIGBY

Wednesday, June 14, 2006 2:17 PM (P)

Well you're all just figments of my imagination anyway!

Luckily I have a very good imagination so you're very cute figments!

Sorry, I've gone off on a tangent haven't I. Just slap me when I do that!

________________________________
Hisssssss!

TRISTAN

Wednesday, June 14, 2006 2:24 PM (P)

Morning, all!

I think I missed a few things...see if I can get caught up.

Cuddling. I am somewhat a fan of cuddling. Not something I like to do all the time, but it's wonderful to cuddle up on the sofa every now and then to watch a movie. It's also especially wonderful during the afterglow.

I can be somewhat jealous of a platonic friend's romantic interest in someone else...but I am also very supportive of them. Kind of a weird, mixed-up thing, I know...

PR, we would be more than happy to put someone through an engine for you!

I missed the list thing waaay back...but I am not generally a list maker. I will create an inventory list every now and then of cloth, thread, needles, etc., as well as tools and armoring supplies, but that is more to figure out what I need to replace.

Alright, looks like I am caught up for now...
Let's hope the server stays up today!

____________

PHOENIXROSE

Wednesday, June 14, 2006 2:35 PM (P)

Quote:
Originally posted by RugBug:
I wouldn't call this jealousy, though, PR. I call it them being a bad friend. And why is it when they're single they always say something like, "Oh, I would never do that to my friends," and then BAM! they're gone. They just disappear and it's hard to not feel like you were filling time for them. I don't need to hang out with them all the time, but once a month would be nice.

I tend to see them about once a month, actually. Go from once or twice a week to once a month... maybe. Although that really only happened long term twice; eventually I got tired of putting in all the effort of seeing them. One (the one mentioned above, as it happens) then accused me of giving her the "silent treatment" after basically not initiating contact for a year. I just got tired of it and waited for her to call me. She is a very, very long and complicated story in my life. Very long. The other one I just never saw again.
Now I only get a little jealous when my best friend finds someone to be with; there's always a few weeks when I don't see her. Plus I get worried because I've watched her get her heart broken many times and I've only known her for a couple of years! *sigh* She is a good friend, though. She always makes time for me. That reminds me, I should call her. We're still working our way through the show, and seeing the movie on the 23rd!

Gotta get a move on!

**********************************

RUGBUG

Wednesday, June 14, 2006 2:40 PM (P)

Quote:
Originally posted by Tristan:
I missed the list thing waaay back...but I am not generally a list maker. I will create an inventory list every now and then of cloth, thread, needles, etc., as well as tools and armoring supplies, but that is more to figure out what I need to replace.

Ah, but inventory lists are very different creatures than to-do lists.

I LURVE inventory lists. Wanna know what DVDs (and even VHS) I own? Gotta list for that. The lists aren't really keeping track of anything, they're just stuck on the computer in case one day I might like to look at them. God, I'm such a freak.

TRISTAN

Wednesday, June 14, 2006 2:53 PM (P)

Ah, sorry! See, I told you I missed the list thing!
To-do lists are an evil of immense proportion...the few times I actually created one, I ended up doing half-a-dozen things that were not on the list before I even realized it!
No, to-do lists are not for me.

No, RugBug, you are not a freak. There will be times when I consult one of my "inventory" lists and realize I have something I could have used on my last project.

Here's a question to get us back in the less-than-PG-rated frame of mind...
Preferred place for romantic (or otherwise) couplings. I know that the bed is number one, but are there places you would prefer to the bedroom?

____________

PHOENIXROSE

Wednesday, June 14, 2006 2:53 PM (P)

Oh yeah, I missed the list thing, too. Um...
I have a lot of lists, like of the bands I like (long story) and the CD's I would like to own one day (short story) and I also have all my CD's in order; A-Z by artist, in order of release. Funny that I don't even use my CD's anymore except to put them on my computer to listen to; I still obsess a little about the order.
I don't do "to-do" lists so much. I read a story when I was little about the futility of lists. It was a Frog and Toad story (don't know if anyone else ever read those?) and Toad made a list, and he was going to do everything on the list and nothing else, but when he left the house the list blew away and he stood wringing his hands because chasing after the list was not on the list and Frog couldn't catch it so then they just sat in the same place all day. It was a ridiculous story, I know, but it really put me off to-do lists for the rest of my life. Funny how things in our childhood can do those things.
Oh and also I have a very good memory, so I don't tend to need them.
I will write down due dates and when I'm supposed to be at work and stuff.

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DEEPGIRL187

Wednesday, June 14, 2006 3:03 PM (P)

I make lists because I suck at remembering things. Whenever I want to download a MP3, I write the name down on this huge list of songs that I have. Said list is over four pages in length, which shows you just how bad my memory is.

Edit: Ah ha! I knew I wasn't the only one with the CD problem, PR! Course, it's starting to be a real pain organizing them (I have over 200 CD's)

**************************************************

Jayne: You wanna go, little man?
Wash: Only if it's someplace with candlelight.

PHOENIXROSE

Wednesday, June 14, 2006 3:05 PM (P)

Quote:
Originally posted by Tristan:
Here's a question to get us back in the less-than-PG-rated frame of mind...
Preferred place for romantic (or otherwise) couplings. I know that the bed is number one, but are there places you would prefer to the bedroom?

Oh, Tristan, you are opening a can of worms. A can of kinky, kinky worms.
Beds are nice, yes. However, I prefer a LoveSac or similar large, stuffed, beanbag chair-shaped pillowy thing. I find I like the interesting positions and angles that can be achieved here. Also, for a similar reason, I like the car. I just wish the ceilings were higher on those. I have always liked the idea of sex in the kitchen. You have to have a decent-sized kitchen for this, though. I haven't ever gotten to try it. The only decent sized kitchen is at my house, which is also my mother's house. I have a very large closet, and for some reason I always wanted to try a few things in there. The floor can also be fun. Another that I have not experienced but would like to try is the outdoors; a nice, secluded park or somesuch. Moonlight and stars, or maybe out in the rain. Rain is sexy. Work is another one. There are big fluffy chairs where I work, and I think that would be great fun. I am there alone at night, since they only really need one person there for graveyard. I invited the ex there a few times; he never took me up on it. However, if we had ever had a movie theater to ourselves, I think he would have been up for it. Even when we didn't have it to ourselves, we would sometimes mess around, though not to any extremity.
Oh dear. This post is not as whorish as it sounds, I swear!

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PHOENIXROSE

Wednesday, June 14, 2006 3:08 PM (P)

Quote:
Originally posted by deepgirl187:
Course, it's starting to be a real pain organizing them (I have over 200 CD's)

As do I, my friend. As do I.

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SHEPHERD2BE

Wednesday, June 14, 2006 3:12 PM (P)

morning all, east coast day shift clocking in.
Looks like I missed out on a lot yesterday due to the server problems and my boss actually expecting me to work. Once again I will try to catch up.

FMF- I would give him another week, try again, if no response, forget about it. His loss.

NVGhostrider, I am in agreement with you on the unstable ( more than a little indecisive ) but how unstable? There are different levels. Neuroticism and insecurity is tolerable, bipolar setting your car on fire and carving your name in her forehead while singing Janice Joplin is not. Hang in there, a good high speed wahl clipper with a 10 blade is on call here if needed.

Body temp is kind of important. My ex was cold to the touch. It was like sleeping next to a glacier. She thought it was quaint when I said I would like pajamas for a gift. It was just protection from frostbite.

Not one for lists usually. Serves me right if I forget it.

All for the cuddling. I have discovered there is no better way to watch Firefly than on my couch with my girlfriend wrapped around me.

Emma -- Smitten, great word, haven't used it in a while but it does describe my current situation oh so well.

PR -- I do not get jealous of my friends having relationships. I tended to get jealous when my friends would pair off and go do the couple thing with other couples. Suddenly I was a leper. Instead of hanging out every other weekend,it was once every two months. We would get together, they talk of the fun they had had with other couples I do not even know and then as I was leaving, they would say this was fun, we should do this more often. And I would grit my teeth smile and say we certainly should......

Tristan -- Bed is always #1 for me, but a sturdy dining room table can be very practical.

Ok, think I am caught up now. Is it too early for lunch?

EMMARIGBY

Wednesday, June 14, 2006 3:13 PM (P)

Not whorish at all! Got me thinking innapropriate thoughts when I should be working though!

I'd like to put a vote in for sex in the shower! Mmm, slippery! Plus you have someone to scrub your back for you afterwards!
Only thing is we have limited hot water here and getting doused with ice cold water at exactly the wrong moment isn't something I'd recommend. I'm sure they used to use that sort of thing for aversion therapy! I'm going to be so screwed up!

________________________________
Hisssssss!

TRISTAN

Wednesday, June 14, 2006 3:14 PM (P)

Well, I was hoping to open a can of worms with this one. I am trying to see if females think similar to males in this respect.
I was a man-whore (apparently), so I don't really want to list places I have "been", as it would seem overmuch and possibly TMI. I am trying to see if there is a consensus of "bedroom" vs. "anywhere else"...but I could stand to hear a little more, if y'all want to give it.

____________

MSG

Wednesday, June 14, 2006 3:25 PM (P)

NV- Ok so how unstable are we talking?? just unstable enough to be too stupid to see how great you are and actually pull her head out and do something right... or I have cut off your cat's hair and am using it in a voodoo ritual to sink the sun? I still say shaving's the way to go here

Phoenix- sure we'll just grab the nasty ex knock him out, dress him in some lovely frilly lingerie, take pics, and send them to a lovely web service to help him find new friends.

Emma- glad to see you back sweety:)and may I just say I have a friend that I've been friends with since I was 4 and I would never pick him over my husband...so don't be too sure ex flatmate would win:)

Tristan- oooh so many fun places. May I highly reccomend the trampoline. very springy! Also a big fan of dining room table. Warning not in the ocean. You can get sand in all kinds of bad places.

OK Now I have a questions for those of you out there who are couples. Does your significant other have the password to your email? My spouse feels like not sharing passwords means you have something to hide and I'd like to know what you guys think.

You're only young once, but you can be immature any time!

TRISTAN

Wednesday, June 14, 2006 3:36 PM (P)

msg,
Passwords. I would rather not know my wife's passwords...her email is none of my business. I see this as akin to opening regular mail or reading a diary/journal (that is not publically posted online, etc). I like my privacy, and I respect the privacy of my wife. I have nothing to hide, and neither does she. If she wants to read my email, I will let her, but I do not believe in having access to her accounts; nor do I believe in letting her have access to mine.
Hope that makes sense.

____________

MAL4PREZ

Wednesday, June 14, 2006 3:42 PM (P)

trampoline? That seems... difficult.

In certain circumstances, I'm a fan of against the wall. Not if you're into taking a long time about it, that can be tiring.

Don't have an SO, msg, but I like to think I'd share the email password. Sometimes you need someone else to check things or send a mail, it'd just be convenient.

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I'm the president. I don't need to listen.

MSG

Wednesday, June 14, 2006 3:46 PM (P)

Thanks Tristan makes sense and is basically what I think.
Mal4prez- oooh I'd forgotten up against a wall. Sometimes that can be seriously hot!! As for trampoline it's not difficult as long as you are lying down. It might be if you were jumping on it.
So I think that althought we usually use beds the sex you remember best or that was the hottest is usually spontaneous and in an unusual location... is that what you were looking for Tristan or did you want an opinion on which was better?

You're only young once, but you can be immature any time!

NVGHOSTRIDER

Wednesday, June 14, 2006 3:52 PM (P)

She does tell me how great I am, but its a wonder if she really appreciates me. I should say emotionally unstable with OCD. I see the attraction, but she appears to be very fearful of my advances. Though, she never says NO when I ask her to do stuff. She is just no very reliable.

As for the places for carnal interludes, my favorites were in the great outdoors. Lots of hiking and trekking gets the blood pumping. Those serene places you find out of the way are good for more than pictures!

Jayne: I was gonna get me an ear too.

MSG

Wednesday, June 14, 2006 3:57 PM (P)

hmmm NV sounds like she's just one of those people who is paralyzed by indecision. They are so busy envisioning the tragic possible outcomes that they can't commit to anything. That is seriously frustrating! You can only wait so long before lack of a decision feels like the answer is no.
The not saying no thing just might be a girl deal ( help me out here those of you women who are more up on female behavior) I have noticed that a large number of women will try really hard not to say no. They try to use voice tone and redirecting to keep from saying it. I think it's sort of ingrained in girls that saying no and asserting your opinion above others is bad. That's just my thought. I could be wrong:)

You're only young once, but you can be immature any time!

TRISTAN

Wednesday, June 14, 2006 4:04 PM (P)

msg, I am looking for where you prefer to have sex...I should have added "other than in the bedroom" but I didn't think of that at the time...
See, I have never had spontaneous sex in bed; having sex in a bed has never been a surprise for me. A bed is good, but there are so many other locations that are just so much better. And a downside to this question may be the answer; "Preference? Hell, as long as I am having sex, I don't care where I am!"...so I am seeking out where people would prefer to have sex outside the bedroom.
Is that long-winded enough?

But again, stories of the best times will not be ignored.

____________

MAL4PREZ

Wednesday, June 14, 2006 4:05 PM (P)

Quote:
Originally posted by msg:
Mal4prez- oooh I'd forgotten up against a wall. Sometimes that can be seriously hot!! As for trampoline it's not difficult as long as you are lying down. It might be if you were jumping on it.

Even laying down, I could see the bounciness becoming a problem. Not that I wouldn't try it, if I had the chance.

Outdoors, oh yes. And in the rain? Mmmm, fun.

-----------------------------------------------
I'm the president. I don't need to listen.

COPILOT

Wednesday, June 14, 2006 4:12 PM (P)

I see myself making that mistake constantly! Why can't I just say no! Stop following me go away I don't like you! Oh well I'm weak like that.

Okay so problem time. Last night my friend slept over to cuddle me because I was feeling lonely. I had a dream in which I woke up and saw his relection in a mirror over my bed (there isn't a mirror over my bed). It reflected his actual image for about 1/2 a second then morphed into the death deamon. I know the tarot card for death usualy just means change but why did I have so many scarey dreams while he was in my bed?

I'm also noticing he's a lot like my former significant other. Nice smart nerdy guy a few years younger than FSO but still older than me. Kinda sheltered from how bad this world can be. Way closer to his family. Maybe I'm just seeing things that arn't really there.

An I carried such a torch.......For the Dark Lord

MSG

Wednesday, June 14, 2006 4:16 PM (P)

Ah where I prefer would actually be a bed. Much as spontaneous sex is hot and all there are just so many variables you can't control with it. Like people walking in on you, falling off of something, falling onto something, breaking something and having to explain, accidentally bumping your phone and speed dialing someone and having them hear you, leaving traces of activities and having small children ask what happened... NOT that I am speaking from experience or anything ahem*blush*

Copilot- usually your dreams are your brain's way of trying to tell you something. It might be that a change is coming or it might be that your subconscious is trying to warn you to think carefully before getting involved with the same kind of guy. Just take care of yourself and it'll all work out

You're only young once, but you can be immature any time!

EMMARIGBY

Wednesday, June 14, 2006 4:32 PM (P)

Quote:
Originally posted by msg:

The not saying no thing just might be a girl deal ( help me out here those of you women who are more up on female behavior)

Oooh, I had a real problem with this a few years ago. I could never come right out and say I wasn't interested in a guy, which led for awkward avoidance tactics. It got so bad that I didn't even stop my then boyfriend when he wanted to have sex and I really didn't which left me feeling really horrible and unhappy (whilst in retrospect I am appalled at my own lack of self-confidence I am also annoyed with him. I wasn't subtle in that I wasn't in the mood. Kept saying I felt sick. The fact that I wasn't more forceful in my rejection was a lot to do with the fact that I was about to break up with him but wasn't in the mood to have the big break up then and didn't want to have to explain why I wasn't in the mood. It's interesting that until then I'd thought that sex wasn't something I was hugely emotionally invested in but the dirty feeling I was left with made me REALLY never want to get into a more ugly situation)

Sorry, long ramble to say that yes, inability to say no does afflict some of us but it is a bad thing associated with poor self image.

________________________________

Hisssssss!

NVGHOSTRIDER

Wednesday, June 14, 2006 4:45 PM (P)

After stuying human beahvior for a fair amount of time I understand the redirection and distraction methods of non committal individuals. What gets me is when the plans are made she always adds fuel to the fire. Adding the details of the plan. We could go here for lunch, we could get in a game (of pool) if there's time, we could get dressed up. Damn, maybe those are the distractions. Using her femanine wiles to lull me into a false sense of security. That way I'm not angry when she don't show up. You wonderful ladies really pegged it. Thanks, that makes what I will say on Friday all the more easy. You ladies rock.

COPILOT- MSG is right. Let your dreams be your advisors, but not the dictators of policy. Your mind, body, and soul's warning bells are sounding. Just remember that he is not the same individual as the ex. Try not to punish him for the sins of others (been there, it sucks).

Jayne: I was gonna get me an ear too.

ZEEK

Wednesday, June 14, 2006 4:47 PM (P)

ok I guess I've lurked this thread long enough.

I don't get the cuddling with friends thing. I just couldn't ever see myself doing that. And I like to cuddle with girlfriends. It's just such a different dynamic than if it was with a friend. At least to me it is.

DEEPGIRL187

Wednesday, June 14, 2006 4:51 PM (P)

Quote:
Originally posted by nvghostrider:
Using her femanine wiles to lull me into a false sense of security.

Just try not to be too paranoid about things. I'm sure things will go the way they're supposed to.

**************************************************

Jayne: You wanna go, little man?
Wash: Only if it's someplace with candlelight.

MAL4PREZ

Wednesday, June 14, 2006 5:14 PM (P)

Quote:
Originally posted by msg:
The not saying no thing just might be a girl deal ( help me out here those of you women who are more up on female behavior) I have noticed that a large number of women will try really hard not to say no.

Busted!!!

I was stuck in this for a long time, it took me a while to figure out that it doesn't work. Gotta just say no when I'm not interested, and assume the loss of *me* won't break his delicate little heart. [/self-depracting sarcasm]

I think there is a social training behind it though. I was not encouraged to state my opinion growing up. I'm so over that!!

I'll volunteer for the TMI! My story of a good place: vacationing at an adult resort in Jamaica, there was this cushioned window seat that looked right out on the beach, which was a narrow strip of land, small and private. There was usually no one out there. Me and my bf would sit in the window seat a lot, enjoying the breeze and the waves. One evening, right at sunset, we could just see a couple, in a secluded spot behind some trees... well, the mood spread. Not the roomiest window seat, but it worked out.

I'm really not one for public sex, but hey - it was Jamaica! That kind of thing happens.

TMI??

-----------------------------------------------
I'm the president. I don't need to listen.

PHOENIXROSE

Wednesday, June 14, 2006 5:17 PM (P)

I forgot showers! My shower is a stall, so there was never enough room in there. I agree; againt the wall/standing up is one of the most mind-blowing positions I've ever been in! Not because it was spontaious, because it was just... Well, you know. It felt good.
Passwords: hell no I would not let anyone have my passwords! They wanna read my e-mail that bad, I can pull it up and tell them to have at it, but I don't want anyone having access to my private accounts, by they banking, e-mail, or even this place. I have nothing to hide, I just protect myself. Seriously, what if you break up? You have to change all your passwords to prevent sabotage! Not that I want or expect that outcome, but it's common enough that I wouldn't want to risk it. I'm an open book in most cases and have nothing to hide; not ever. If someone thinks I'm hiding something, they are paranoid or stupid or both. And if they're at all worried, they can ask me. I know a lot of people aren't like that, though.
Saying no: if I really mean "No" I have no problem saying it. I had one guy accuse me of being really rude to him at one point because he asked if I wanted a drink as he was starting to pour beer in my glass and I snapped a "No" at him and he said I had been rude. I was like "Buddy, I don't know you, I don't know where that beer has been, and you didn't wait for my permission to start pouring it into my ice tea in the first place, so I didn't have time to tell you politely that I don't drink and am underage anyway so you just came very close to breaking the law." Man you should have seen his face! There was also a guy majorly hitting on me in a club at one point, and I straight up told him he was barking up the wrong tree. I don't have a problem saying what I think. I was raised by fairly free-thinking people; they never told me not to assert myself. And it just comes so naturally to me!
Copilot; direct dream interpretaion from a not-really-professional would be that you are, in fact, afraid of change. That is okay; most people are to some extent and you are going through a big one. At the same time, if I were you I wouldn't let someone like that into my bed again. Whether it's actually him or actually you, you are obviously not ready.
Hey, at least he didn't turn into your ex!
NV, I am glad all of us here could help! Good luck to you.
No Mal4prez, not TMI. Sounds very nice.
Whew! I wasn't off that long!

Oh, and dressing up my ex in frilly lingerie? Yes!
Actually, considering I met him at the Rocky Horror Picture Show, not sure how much of a punishment it would be. Of course, he only ever wore fishnet shirts, never went all out.
Let's do it!

**********************************

TRISTAN

Wednesday, June 14, 2006 5:21 PM (P)

Mal4Prez, I think the thrill of being caught can greatly increase the passion of a situation. I envy you for Jamaica, though...

____________

TRISTAN

Wednesday, June 14, 2006 5:25 PM (P)

PR, on a funny side note regarding Rocky Horror...I have actually dressed up as Frank-n-Furter for a "gathering" in college...turned out to be quite a comfortable ensemble!

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NVGHOSTRIDER

Wednesday, June 14, 2006 5:50 PM (P)

DEEPGIRL187- Next to caffine and adrenaline paranoia is among the top of my drug favoites. Of course things will go according to gods plan. I have to say that Ms. Incredible did help me shed alot of insecurities and doubts about myself. I actually wanna have sex now. Maybe even connect and have a relationship. If its not with her, than so be it. At leasy I know what I want. Its great.

As for the inability to say no. Ladies, Don't fear the truth. I would not be in the current position I'm in if someone had piped up with the truth. She claims to be my friend to numerous folk, but had I known the truth I would feel like an actual frien and may even be able to hang out with her no matter who is around without any fits of jealosy, (though it is my experience that my female friends have become jealous of the women I lean affectionatly towards than vice versa)

Jayne: I was gonna get me an ear too.

MAL4PREZ

Wednesday, June 14, 2006 5:56 PM (P)

Quote:
Originally posted by Tristan:
PR, on a funny side note regarding Rocky Horror...I have actually dressed up as Frank-n-Furter for a "gathering" in college...turned out to be quite a comfortable ensemble.

Which one's that? Garters and corset and stuff? If so, ooh-la-la!!

All right, I want more stories! I know you people have done wilder things than I have!!

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I'm the president. I don't need to listen.

SERYN

Wednesday, June 14, 2006 6:05 PM (P)

Cuddling - i love, Like someone said, even watcxhing tv, its improved when theres someone draped around you. Its actually the only thing i miss unbearably about relationships. (human contact I mean)

Jealousy - the last time igot really jealous was when my best friend of many years started going out with her uni friends, she'd phone me up at eight or nine at night and ask if i was coming out, and then got pissy with me when I wasn't willing to drop everything and haul myself and my make up bag out. That and other issues meant I lost her as a friend, yet another reason why idon't get any cuddles (we were close, to the point where we'd hug a lot and even sit playing with each others hands etc.)

Not saying no - i'm sure its happened in the past alot, but recently i'm proud to say that i've overcome that problem, i'm quite forthright and absolutly honest when I don't like something. yey me *waves small flag*

Sex - actually, in a kitchen its much easier if the really spontaneous (still mostly clothed) and kitchens small, as you can prop your butt on one counter and rest one foot on the other so that you're better supported, plus it creates a great angle and adds a cert...ain... er, Of course, this is what friends tell me... yeah. *cough*

Related to internet dating of a few posts back - what do you guys think about frequency of messages?
As in, when I get a message I reply to it then, if i'm able, it just seems natural, good ettiquet if you will. But even guys I think I have a really good connection with after a while just take longer and longer to message me back (even though they have logged on in the interim) I have this horrid fear of being where i'm not wanted, so i don't tend to send them more messages, but what kind of impresion is that giving? The last one, a guy who i was talking to a lot about music, I sent one, and then a little while ago sent him another (a joke about converting my neice to some music he told me about) but it hasn't prompted a reply.
Its not like i'm madly in lust with this guy, i just don't want to seem either too pushy or completely uncaring.

Has anyone had this happen to them of been on the other side? is he not arsed about continuing the converstion or do guys just not see replying as a big issue?

(as for rocky horror, yes, many guys have said that. I find corsetry really comfy and supportive (posture wise) sometimes, and silk underwear always feel nice, so its not that unusual i suppose.)

LITTLEALBATROSS29

Wednesday, June 14, 2006 6:10 PM (P)

Any man who could dress up ( and be seen ) like Frankie has my immediate respect !I always wanted to play Magenta. We have the same hair.

When hubby & I first got together, we actually set the bedroom on fire. We left a candle too near the bed & up went the comforter, and some cd's.
Ever try to put out a fire naked ? Not fun.
Hot tubs are great , though.

Bryce
**********************************8

I swallowed a bug.

TRISTAN

Wednesday, June 14, 2006 6:16 PM (P)

Yes, the garters and corset outfit...if I had pictures, I would post them.

Stories, stories, stories...
A few brief interludes; backstage during the performance of a play that both of us were involved in, flyloft of the same theatre, on a beach in NC (during summer theatre) with four or five other couples around while watching the sun come up, backseat of my car in front of my partner's mother's house. Thoses are some of the spontaneous encounters. I am also a huge fan of the shower...but it is important to have a large hot water heater. I also enjoy the possibility of getting caught, so I have had sex in numerous public and semi-public places, including crowded hotel rooms during Ren Faires.
I reserve the right not to post wilder things unless I am directly challenged.

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NVGHOSTRIDER

Wednesday, June 14, 2006 6:31 PM (P)

Okay, so the hotel incident I mentioned in a much earlier post. Ex liked standing in the process just as much as me. Moving about the room we came to rest on the windowsill of our fifth floor room. Chsin reaction man strikes again. Foot slips partner holds on tight, and somehow the window popped out of the frame. Chain reaction man pulls back and breaks partners fall to the floor. Window pane shatters loudly on ground below. After five minutes of hysterics reality sets in for the dynamic duo. We almost died. Right back at it from the excitement. Despite the fact we almost died in a very embarassing manner, the whole ordeal was quite funny. Except of course for the fact I ended up paying a six hundred dollar repair bill. God I love adrenaline.

TRISTAN: CHALLENGE!!!!!!!!!

Jayne: I was gonna get me an ear too.

MAL4PREZ

Wednesday, June 14, 2006 6:32 PM (P)

Quote:
Originally posted by seryn:
Related to internet dating of a few posts back - what do you guys think about frequency of messages?

Good question! I've noticed there seems to be a rule about not answering too quickly. Like, if I answer quickly it puts pressure on the other party to reply quickly. Kind of silly.

I tend to copy people's speed. If they take two days to get back to me, I do the same. Unless I have a burning need to say something.

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I'm the president. I don't need to listen.

MAL4PREZ

Wednesday, June 14, 2006 6:34 PM (P)

NV - LOL! good story!!

You almost made the Darwin list!

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I'm the president. I don't need to listen.

NVGHOSTRIDER

Wednesday, June 14, 2006 6:43 PM (P)

Darwin list? I have an assumption of what it contains but I Ain't aducated or all that schoolified. Can you fill me in?

Jayne: I was gonna get me an ear too.

COPILOT

Wednesday, June 14, 2006 6:48 PM (P)

The Dawin Awards are for those silly arse people who kill themselfs in the dumbest possible way! There are books and everything. You can also win by maiming yourself bad enough to eleminate yourself from the gene pool.

An I carried such a torch.......For the Dark Lord

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