Male and Female Imponderables--Friends, Romans, Countrymen...

POSTED BY: Tristan
UPDATED: Wednesday, January 7, 2026 16:50
VIEWED: 21933
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TRISTAN

Friday, July 7, 2006 8:09 PM

This is the thingy I was looking for...

This goes back to the self-imaging.

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GED

Friday, July 7, 2006 8:10 PM

Haha Tristan, love the pic!

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This above all, — to thine ownself be true.
http://www.myspace.com/artv

MAL4PREZ

Friday, July 7, 2006 8:12 PM

That's so cute Tristan! tough little kitten.

-----------------------------------------------
I'm the president. I don't need to listen.

MSG

Friday, July 7, 2006 8:14 PM

does it scare anyone that I see a kick ass amazon in the mirror?

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

TRISTAN

Friday, July 7, 2006 8:18 PM

MSG, nope, no in the least!

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GED

Friday, July 7, 2006 8:20 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by msg:
does it scare anyone that I see a kick ass amazon in the mirror?

It's hot! To quote Wash, "Have you ever been with a warrior woman?"

__________________________________________________
This above all, — to thine ownself be true.
http://www.myspace.com/artv

NVGHOSTRIDER

Friday, July 7, 2006 8:30 PM

Scare? Not exactly.

When I look int the mirror I see a guy who'd beat me up for my lunch money and buy ice cream for the sad looking kids on the corner.
Either that or someone looking to collect on some long overdue debt. With just a hint of a cuddly, honey eatin' pooh bear quality.
Guess I just look funny to myself.
Out of place.
Out of mind.
Time for chocolate!
MMMMMMM

MAL: "What happen about me?"

TRISTAN

Friday, July 7, 2006 8:32 PM

Oooh, oooh, GED! I have been with a warrior woman...married her, too!

NVG, chocolate and coffee...just the right mix, and all will be well.

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WHITEFALL

Friday, July 7, 2006 8:36 PM

Ahh i missed so much in my day off the board... hmm... um... lets see...

As too SBDB's earlier comment about too much info, meh, we should start a support grp, being 17 on this thread can be awkward. (Btw, 15,17, meh same dif. freshman/sophmores=awesome) If you read some of the previous threads (I think this is my 3rd) them damned teenage relationships were a big talking point. Dunno if we ever decided anything.

As to body image: damnit it sucks... I agree with everyone again, them ladies and gents on this board be fine looking and just plain fine bunch, but still... me, I don't consider meself all that ugly, but damn acne is just evil, cause somehow it's all my fault. Hate that, every other disease in the 'verse, people feel sorry for you or somesuch, but not with teenage skin conditions. So yeah, body image sucks.

"But, these strong women characters?"

"Why aren't you asking 100 other guys why they don't write strong women characters?" -Joss Whedon

NVGHOSTRIDER

Friday, July 7, 2006 8:39 PM

Honestly, chocolate and beer sounded horrible until a female friend from way back had me try it. I thought a guy would be the first to suggest such a thing. My bad.
Always proving you wrong, gets your motor runnin', kicks you in the ass when it needs it the most.
That what women are for.
That and the occasional sandwich.

(In a a sly Kojak style)
"Who loves ya baby?"

MAL: "What happen about me?"

MSG

Friday, July 7, 2006 8:51 PM

LOL NV you are the cutest damn thing!!! I am continually amazed that some woman hasn't just snapped you right on up.
May I say to those of you under 18..every last one of you is very mature and that's saying something ( I teach teenagers) and I have never seen such a collection of mature intelligent and charming teenagers!

OK I should have clarified... I see an amazon everyone else sees a pixie in tiny shoes with matching polish

ROTFLMAO- I just found the perfect birthday gift to buy myself...it's a tee-shirt that says "I deal in black market beagles" Oh I am so getting that!

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

TRISTAN

Friday, July 7, 2006 8:57 PM

NVG...whoa, did you say chocolate and beer? Having trouble wrapping my head around that one, but if you say it's good, I'll take your word for it. One question, though...how many beers do you have to have before you eat the chocolate?

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MSG

Friday, July 7, 2006 9:03 PM

um Tristan I don't know anyone who has to have beer to eat chocolate...however I really can't see drinking beer and eating chocolate either... mind you not much for beer...

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

RUGBUG

Friday, July 7, 2006 9:07 PM

Tristan, LOVE the picture. Now I just need to make that a reality all the time. See, when facing a regular day, I see the lion. When dealing with men, I see a mouse.

MSG, you sound like a you could kick some serious arse in the morning and clean yourself off and be all ladylike. Or maybe you can kick some arse while looking all ladylike. Best of both world's and all.

I missed the "would you ask a guy out" question a while back. Answer is "nope." and it has probably hurt. I would ask a guy to "hang out" meaning sports or some other group activity or if we both mentioned a movie we liked I would do the "we should go see it sometime" but if it was an actual "date" then no.

(okay, so you must excuse any spelling errors...and any worse than normal grammatical errors. I'm still trying to post in the midst of my crazy day. Don't want to miss out on my FFF.net)

NVGHOSTRIDER

Friday, July 7, 2006 9:08 PM

MSG- (blushes) Thanks.

TRISTAN- Just as some would eat strawberries/chocolate and champagne. Try a smooth chocolate, let it melt a little in your mouth with your choice of beer. Guiness seems to be a good mix due to it also being very smooth. Red Dog is one of my favorites with chocolate. It has a bite similar to the Icky (ale at the Great Basin Brewing Company in Sparks, NV named after the Icthyasour' found in Nevada).
And my personal favorite, Killians, goes good with everything. Especially Chinese take out and chocolate, (not at the same time of course).

MAL: "What happen about me?"

TRISTAN

Friday, July 7, 2006 9:08 PM

MSG, what I meant was, how many beers do you have to have before eating chocolate and drinking beer at the same time seems like a good idea... I am not a big beer fan, either...I prefer Guinness, and yes, I know most people consider that a beer, but it's more like a pork chop in a bottle, or even a beer milkshake if it's served cold.
Chocolate is an everyday necessity.

-EDIT-
Ah, NVG, seems we think the same at times! I will try the chocolate and Guinness this evening!

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MSG

Friday, July 7, 2006 9:16 PM

ah...well I like a nice guiness now and then. There's a great pub just a few blocks from us that does a great one and they even do a little shamrock in the foam on top:)
That said.. I'd still rather have a vodka martini dirty with 2 olives:)

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

CALIFORNIAKAYLEE

Friday, July 7, 2006 9:16 PM

Hmmm, I've not had good experiences mixing beer and chocolate. For those who prefer to avoid the TMI, I'll spoilerize this for you, but my experience has been that

Select to view spoiler:

beer and chocolate consumed in the same evening, not even necessarily together, makes one very farty. Beer and ice cream is the worst culprit, but beer and chocolate is a close runner up. While I've only ever had a grumbly tummy from it, it really doesn't mix well with my hubby, lol!

Man I feel silly.

~CK

You can't take the sky from me...

SMARTBUTDUMBBLONDE

Friday, July 7, 2006 9:18 PM

Yeah!! I like that idea of getting one signed to punkindoodlegirl!!
Justy finished watching Grey's, what a cliff hanger! and Dr Bailey being married? didnot see that one coming!! anyway: to get back to the thread...
The only thing I really don't like about myself is my feet, because I don't like feet fullstop *shudder*. I'm lucky not to have acne, or many spots at all (touch wood), though this is possibly because I don't wear any make-up.
Thanks, MSG, never have I been called mature so many times in one evening!
I have to go now, as I am off to bed: its 10:30 here, and I have to get up early for a paper round in the morning

Damn you Fox! Damn you to Hades!!
98% of teens have smoked pot, if you are one of the 2% that haven't, copy this into your signature

TRISTAN

Friday, July 7, 2006 9:18 PM

Thank you, CK...I will keep that in mind.

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CALIFORNIAKAYLEE

Friday, July 7, 2006 9:21 PM

I'm just sayin... Room-full of guys who get drunk and then don't pay attention to what junk food they eat? Not pretty.

~CK

You can't take the sky from me...

NVGHOSTRIDER

Friday, July 7, 2006 9:25 PM

MSG- So you're one of those dirty girls. I never seemed to have a preferance of drinkers when it came to women. Just felt bad for the little ones that tried to keep up. Always liked doing things while drinking in the company of womenfolk, (play pool, sing, team sports, watch movies). I was always a bit leary of the ones who could out drink and possibly take advantage of me. Few have tried, most have failed. Thank God!

CK- Glad I already used the bathroom. May have needed a mop had I not!

MAL: "What happen about me?"

MSG

Friday, July 7, 2006 9:26 PM

well I believe you could market that as a diet aid CK:)
OK right now I am so cold I think I may have hypothermia...my husband's desk is set so the leg space is directly against the vent for the AC which channels all the AC for the whole room into a narrow space right on me...sooooo cold!

EDIT- NV- for you darlin..anything
I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

BSCPANTHERFAN

Friday, July 7, 2006 9:50 PM

Quote:

Chocolate is an everyday necessity.
______________________________________

Amen to that Tristan! Has anyone here tried chocolate covered gummi bears? They sounded horrible to me at first, but they are really addictive!

As far as the women asking out men, I tend to be very intuitive about other people's relationships with each other, but when it comes to noticing how someone feels about me, I am Captain Clueless. A woman would not have to ask me out on an elaborate date, but a simple,"hey, do you want to grab some food or a movie sometime?" goes a long way.

So who is he?
He's my husband.
Well who in the damn galaxy ain't!

ALLHAILJOSSWHEDON

Friday, July 7, 2006 10:16 PM

Girls asking guys out? That's an extremely rare if not impossible occurence where I'm from. We seem to be stuck in the middle ages dating-wise.

"The General has given me the pick of all the men that can be spared and ordered me to defend the Pass. I realize what a terrible task has been given me. And yet I feel that this is the most glorious moment of my life. What I do is done for my beloved country. No sacrifice can be too great." -- Gen. Gregorio del Pilar, Battle of Tirad Pass(Dec. 2,1899)

MSG

Friday, July 7, 2006 10:44 PM

everyone have a shiny night..I'm off to the movies and dinner:) HUGS

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

SERYN

Friday, July 7, 2006 10:59 PM

ok, halfway through and skipped again.

Guns - dislike the things, they have a place, but it doesn't mean that i have to like them. The attraction to folk with weapone is the air of competance, control and confidence. Plus that silly way they have of walking in t.v shows.

IRL, the closest i ever got was chatting to a secret service guy (training their new recruits where I work) and it was this bulge near his armpit and ispent my entire time avoiding looking at it (same way you try desperatly to avoid looking at their crotches).

Attractive guys - here and now Ihave to state that i'm a very shallow and materialistic person. I make no bones about it, the initial attraction for me is the way a guy looks, they have to appeal to my senses. This doesn't mean to say that i'd be with them if that was their only quality, (hell, i'd throw over Nate himself if the chance to spend the rest of my life with a middle aged gay guy called Steven Fry came up)
But then the secondary attraction is their mind - that has to appeal to me also. I don't consider any of them out of my league, but what ido do is pre judge alot of guys - how they move, what they are saying, their accents and clothes etc - and tend to be very harsh on good looking people, 'cause i know that i'm shallow, so i have to be extra sure that there is something else there and i'm not just letting the scenery get to me.

My main problem in asking guys out is not one of shyness - i'll get the nerve up to do the asking if they don't eventually. Its the fact that i have excellent taste in men - take me to a party and in half an hour i'll have singled out the best guy in the room - but that I only seem to attract total jerks (and i'm not on good terms with any of my ex's, i'd still speak to one of them, but thats not an option) So I could ask out any number of mister perfects, and still end up with mr looser.

In a person who didn't refuse to think about it, that could be demoralising. Extremely demoralising.

ok, bad time to talk about this - having failed a job interview today and now this, i think i'm off to have a good whinge. I'll stop being an idiot tomorrow.

See ya then.

Your robot reminds me of you. You tell it to turn it stops. You tell it to stop it turns. You ask it to take out the garbage it watches reruns of Firefly.
http://www.myspace.com/seryndippyt

SERYN

Friday, July 7, 2006 11:03 PM

dating medieval style?

surely in that case it was your parents doing the asking out when you were two years old.

that would make things a tad easier wouldn't it.
Like playdates for adults.

Your robot reminds me of you. You tell it to turn it stops. You tell it to stop it turns. You ask it to take out the garbage it watches reruns of Firefly.
http://www.myspace.com/seryndippyt

NVGHOSTRIDER

Friday, July 7, 2006 11:56 PM

well folks, its time for me to go. Wish I had access at home, but at least there is someone to keep me company while I, um, work.
Have a great weekend Browncoats.
Remember to keep your weapon at the ready and cover your buddies six.
'Night all.

MAL: "What happen about me?"

FIREFROMHEAVEN

Saturday, July 8, 2006 3:38 AM

I finally got to see all of the pictures of you lovely people in PaganPaul's thread. I don't understand the grousing -- you're beautiful one and all, women and men.

Tristan, you are one fine man. I have a soft spot for bedroom eyes!

Dayve, you look a bit like Jack O'Niell (Stargate) in your pictures.

FMF, MSG, Rugbug, Mal4Prez, Seryn, and AllHailJossWhedon, you're all just beautiful!

PhoenixRose, I hope that man's lapse of judgment didn't hurt your feelings too badly. He was as wrong as could be; I'm glad he apologized. You are a vibrant, blooming young woman!

"Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever." -- Mohandas Gandhi

13

Saturday, July 8, 2006 4:15 AM

The true appearance of the entity known as '13' shall remain unknown.

Delicious mystery.

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'It's Braedan. With an A.'

'Shiny moments aren't a destination any of us get to, and stay put forever. They're unknowable, brief flashes in time. That's what makes them shiny.' -GorramReevers

FIREFROMHEAVEN

Saturday, July 8, 2006 4:22 AM

Aw, 13, that's too bad. I bet you're cute!

"Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever." -- Mohandas Gandhi

WHITEFALL

Saturday, July 8, 2006 4:28 AM

I too shall probably remain a mystery, for... well, half the point of posting online is not being seen but being heard, and also, I can't find the thread of pics anymore.

Oh, and I have a negative self image. Could be any of those reasons.

"But, these strong women characters?"

"Why aren't you asking 100 other guys why they don't write strong women characters?" -Joss Whedon

PHOENIXROSE

Saturday, July 8, 2006 4:36 AM

Waaaaah! I missed a lot!
Yes, if a guy is really shy I assume he's not interested in me. I know a lot of girls want to draw someone out, but I enjoy being talked to and/or acknowledged. No strong silent types for me. Though I've still managed to end up with folk who have a "shell". Damn them all.
I used to feel uncomfortable asking a guy out, but I got over it. If he's interested and it's obvious, why not? Even if it's not the most obvious, what have I got to lose if he isn't, in fact, interested? The most successful relationship I've had to date would not have happened if I hadn't made a few moves. I might kick myself for it a little now, since he turned to Doom, but it was very good while it lasted. But he was showing interest in me. I'm still working on the "walking up to a guy I don't know and showing interest" thing; get very nervous about it and I want to seem confident. I've got a cute and funny line to use and everything, I just need to pull it off properly. And find a guy I wanna use it on...
As I am no longer spoken for, I can give the desription of the kind of person I want, but be warned it's a bit long:
I want someone who is self-aware and honest about who they are to themselves and others, also willing to tell the truth about everything else. Someone who can (is willing to) communicate effectively and actually work to solve any problems before they become a deal. Someone who is appreciative of the good things in life, very much including me, who I can have a mutual respect and admiration for. I would want to be appreciated for dressing up, but not feel like I had to do it all the time. It would be very good if they shared many of my core beliefs; i.e. love and sex are sacred artforms, politics really needs to meet in the middle, every band I like rocks, and the Bible is broken. That's the short list, anyway. Must be basically self-reliant and also thoughtful. I'm always buying little things for people, finally found a friend who was the same way, love having that dynamic. Also, no drugs. No drugs at all. I do not do them, I do not want to be around them, I do not want to deal with it. This does include the drinking. Really someone who takes good care of themselves all 'round, because it's hard for me to watch the health of someone I love decline because of their actions/inactions. And someone who loves loves loves to cuddle; could cuddle up for hours and be happy as a clam, because that is me and I'd like it to be actually possible. And they must be a Browncoat who will call me bao-bei
Oh, and they have to understand what being bi means and what it means to me. I've written it all out for future interests who might be confused.
On a shallower end, I like soft skin and hair I can run my fingers through. I really don't have that many physical requirements, I've dated quite a few body types. But they were all cuddle-able.
And... They have to like being bitten!
Seriously. I can't keep myself from biting.
I used to love and adore dancing in the rain, and once had a lightning bolt strike right behind my house and thought it was the coolest thing ever. I would still really enjoy being out in the rain if I didn't have to be anywhere that being soaking wet might be a no-no. Also if it wasn't always so damn cold. Actually I have a long held fantasy about getting it on in the rain. I worry about being caught and arrested, though, so it's never happened.
SBDB, it's too bad you're as young as you are; you almost perfectly describe my brother! Sensitive, creative, extroverted, very curly hair (lucky hwoon dan got our mother's hair while I got my dad's hair) But he is more than ten years older than you... Pity.
I am cracking up at Ms G's planning, there! funny stuff! I like spur-of-the-moment plans, myself. I'll call someone and be like "Hey what are you doing today?" and if they're busy I tend not to see them unless they call me the next day or something.
One thing I would change about my appearance would be thi

FUTUREMRSFILLION

Saturday, July 8, 2006 6:32 AM

msg - I am back from the movie and it is disappointed I is

FUTUREMRSFILLION

Saturday, July 8, 2006 6:33 AM

Becareful PR. I am EXTREMELY self-aware and it is not a good thing.

PHOENIXROSE

Saturday, July 8, 2006 6:36 AM

Yes it is.
With self-awareness comes the ability to change. To fix what might be wrong and celebrate what is right. Also to know what you are and are not capable of. I don't want to go through the finding out that someone is not what they think all over again. I don't want someone to tell me, and believe, that they love me and want to live with me, only to have it proven untrue because they didn't know what they were talking about. I don't want to watch a minor annoyance escalate to a massive health problem because someone couldn't even tell what was hurting. Seriously, being so out of touch with yourself you think a blood clot in your leg is consipation... That's bad. People who aren't self-aware can't keep their word, don't understand why things happen, and also can't really deal with someone (like you and I) who is self-aware and not afraid to talk about it. It makes shut down people uncomfortable to hear about it. I can't deal with that anymore.

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WHITEFALL

Saturday, July 8, 2006 6:56 AM

Anyhoo, on the subject of women asking men out and shyness... it's the way of life in my findings that everyone is afraid of everyone else, especially if they like other said person. So, just as women asking men out is renowned for being awkward, the reverse is generally just as true. The obvious issue there is, if someone is being shy, they outwardly want the other person to assume they arent interested, though inwardly they probably dont. So, people get afraid of people, and no one ends up happy.

Silly humans.

On self-awareness... hmm... I think I'm self aware... Eh, actually I know what you mean, sometimes you just have to wonder about this whole individuality-in-a-big-world thing, as in: I think therefore I am, but how can I be sure you think? Basically, I can't. I'm sure I think, but I've no way to prove it to you all, really prove it to others the way I know it myself.

Weird stuff.

"But, these strong women characters?"

"Why aren't you asking 100 other guys why they don't write strong women characters?" -Joss Whedon

COPILOT

Saturday, July 8, 2006 7:21 AM

Self aware? I know I exsist is that enough?

Shyness-I gave up on caring that much

So anyway there is a boy I thought was one way but turnes out he's completely different. I expected him to be a womanizing ass but actually he's a cuddly teddy bear! He was supposed to be a one time booty call guy but he's the sweetest boy I've ever met! I think I actually like him! This is lovely and confusing all at once. yes I'm tired and not typing properly sorry honeys!

An I carried such a torch

COPILOT

Saturday, July 8, 2006 7:21 AM

Self aware? I know I exsist is that enough?

Shyness-I gave up on caring that much

So anyway there is a boy I thought was one way but turnes out he's completely different. I expected him to be a womanizing ass but actually he's a cuddly teddy bear! He was supposed to be a one time booty call guy but he's the sweetest boy I've ever met! I think I actually like him! This is lovely and confusing all at once. yes I'm tired and not typing properly sorry honeys!

An I carried such a torch

TRISTAN

Saturday, July 8, 2006 1:00 PM

Good morning, all!

FFH Thank you for that comment. First time I've ever been told I have bedroom eyes!

As far as women asking men out (I missed posting to this yesterday), I have no problem with it at all. It has happened to me a few times, and it was very flattering. I am also a big fan of the woman making the first move. My wife pulled that on our second date...I was trying to be gentleman-like and chivalrous and not appear that I was just after the physical part of a relationship, so I was somewhat reserved in that matter. We had gone to see a movie, and on the way out, she slipped her hand in mine. From that point, I knew it was going to be alright.

Copilot! Good to see you, even if it is sporadically...good times wearing you out?

______________________________________

PIZ

Saturday, July 8, 2006 1:19 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Tristan:
My wife pulled that on our second date...I was trying to be gentleman-like and chivalrous and not appear that I was just after the physical part of a relationship, so I was somewhat reserved in that matter. We had gone to see a movie, and on the way out, she slipped her hand in mine. From that point, I knew it was going to be alright.

Wow, that's so refreshing! Here I thought you were going to say she jumped your bones, and it was only hand-holding! Very, very sweet.

I remember back in high school when the girl I should have held on to did the same thing. We were walking along on (I think) our third date and I was wondering (nervously obsessing about, really) when it would be OK to touch her for the first time ever, and she just reached over and took my hand. I fell in love.

Now, I'm not averse to relationships turning sexual in a hurry if things are right (and sometimes they are), but what ever happened to the little pleasures like holding hands?

--
"That's what government's for: get in a man's way." - Mal

TRISTAN

Saturday, July 8, 2006 1:34 PM

Piz, I was stressing about the same thing. I was in love with her long before we even dated...I actually fell in love with her while I was still married to the first wife. I did not want to screw anything up by turning into an octopus, so I kept my distance. I guess I was trying to prove it wasn't all about the physical aspect of it, and I think it worked. The first kiss we shared was a good night kiss in the parking lot of a bookstore, and I promptly turned around and walked straight into a car! For me, it's never about the first sexual contact, it's always the small things; hand-holding, kissing, holding each other. Even in college, when the goal was "sleep with everything that moces", I was that way. Old-fashioned and proud of it!

______________________________________

PIZ

Saturday, July 8, 2006 2:01 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Tristan:
Piz, I was stressing about the same thing. I was in love with her long before we even dated...I actually fell in love with her while I was still married to the first wife. I did not want to screw anything up by turning into an octopus, so I kept my distance. I guess I was trying to prove it wasn't all about the physical aspect of it, and I think it worked. The first kiss we shared was a good night kiss in the parking lot of a bookstore, and I promptly turned around and walked straight into a car!

Yeah, I remember that feeling. Things are new, exciting, and confusing, and there's a glow suffusing your whole being and everything around you. It's enough just to be with her, almost too much just to be with her. And when you're not with her, it's enough just knowing she exists.

Wish I could believe I'll have that again some day.

Quote:
Originally posted by Tristan:
For me, it's never about the first sexual contact, it's always the small things; hand-holding, kissing, holding each other. Even in college, when the goal was "sleep with everything that moces", I was that way. Old-fashioned and proud of it!

See, here's something I never understood. You're absolutely right, except perhaps for one thing (and this is going to be difficult to explain so I hope folks can be patient with me): all of those things are sexual contact. Sex doesn't start when the clothes come off, and it doesn't end with the afterglow. There are degrees, all the way from "Oh! The way I feel when she merely comes into view!" to "Oh God! Oh God! Oh Gooooooooooood!" Which is just to say, I guess, that a relationship is a whole, and all its aspects interconnect. So the overtly sexual aspects are infused with the relatively non-sexual parts, and vice-versa.

What do you think?

--
"That's what government's for: get in a man's way." - Mal

PHOENIXROSE

Saturday, July 8, 2006 2:08 PM

Piz, I think you've got it. Couldn't have said it better myself! This is why I always say that if there isn't anything sexual, it's not that kind of relationship. Even if you've been dating awhile or are married. And yes the "anything sexual" means cuddling, touching, eyes lighting up when you see them, etc.

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TRISTAN

Saturday, July 8, 2006 2:19 PM

I agree somewhat, but let me see if I can explain myself. There are times when physical contact between two people is not sex-oriented. I can distinguish between intimacy and sex, when sex is not the end product of touching. Boy, this is going to come out confusing...I agree that sex starts with the first look and doesn't end, but it's difficult to go through life thinking that. I personally belieev people focus too much on sex in general and not enought on other things. Which is a dichotomy, as humans are generally sexual beings above all else. Now, I am not saying we should quit thinking about it...it's very healthy to do so...but I have changed from when I was younger, and no longer see sex in everything around me. That is why simple things like hand-holding and kissing can have such a strong effect on me, but not always in the "must have you!" sense.
Boy, I hope that came out the way it sounded in my head...

______________________________________

PIZ

Saturday, July 8, 2006 2:37 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Tristan:
That is why simple things like hand-holding and kissing can have such a strong effect on me, but not always in the "must have you!" sense.
Boy, I hope that came out the way it sounded in my head...

I think we're agreeing here. I wasn't saying that everything leads directly to "must have you!" but does connect to it however indirectly, just as "must have you!" connects back to the simpler things and makes them more enjoyable and special as well.

--
"That's what government's for: get in a man's way." - Mal

TRISTAN

Saturday, July 8, 2006 2:42 PM

Ah. Shiny. I understand now, and agree with you. Thanks for the discussion!

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MSG

Saturday, July 8, 2006 7:37 PM

Hey all- I will have time for more later
FMF- yes sad and disappointed, but I choose to see this as the Empire strikes back part of the trilogy..unsettling changes in characters, odd plot twists, bit weaker story line, I figure it'll be ok in the end:)
HUGS all I will be back in a few hours...on my way to meet up with Utah brownncoats!

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

WHITEFALL

Saturday, July 8, 2006 10:00 PM

Woot to meeting of browncoats!

I feel it's time for a shameless bump.

Actually, i've a question... for a long time I've been thinking, this whole deal with honesty in relationships, why don't people just tell their SO everything... I don't know exactly, but sort of like the old "I statement" thing about how you feel. If folk were to just sit down and talk about troubles from both sides, with some semblance of civility, and acknowledge that both parties have valid concerns... is that being honest, or is that giving too much info?

"But, these strong women characters?"

"Why aren't you asking 100 other guys why they don't write strong women characters?" -Joss Whedon

PIZ

Saturday, July 8, 2006 10:24 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Whitefall:
Woot to meeting of browncoats!

Woot!

Quote:
Originally posted by Whitefall:
Actually, i've a question... for a long time I've been thinking, this whole deal with honesty in relationships, why don't people just tell their SO everything... I don't know exactly, but sort of like the old "I statement" thing about how you feel. If folk were to just sit down and talk about troubles from both sides, with some semblance of civility, and acknowledge that both parties have valid concerns... is that being honest, or is that giving too much info?

It comes down to trust. If you're sure you can trust your SO, then yes, absolutely, share everything. If you can't, then it's, well, less than wise. The difficulty is in knowing when you can trust someone. For me, that's not possible any more.

I KNEW I could trust my wife. KNEW it, right down to my bones. There was NOTHING I was more sure of. I shared EV-ERY-THING with her. The thing was, you see, that I was wrong. Being wrong cost me more than I was prepared to accept. There was money, of course, and lots of it, and that's no small thing. But infinitely worse than that, it cost me my ability to trust. There is now no one in the world I am able to trust entirely.

When you're that sure of something and it betrays you, a part of you is destroyed forever.

--
"That's what government's for: get in a man's way." - Mal

COPILOT

Sunday, July 9, 2006 12:55 AM

On the issue of trust. Yes trust is important. It's important to know that you can only trust a human to be a human. Humans are self serving creatures. That was my only point.

Now on to the happy. I met a boy I like. Yay! The wierdest thing is since we kissed I havn't wanted to be touched by anyone else. I have never experienced that before. My urge to tackle random people on the street has disapated. I feel happy and well....downright giddy. I smiled for so long I thought my face was going to crack. The thing is I wasn't expecting this at all. He's supposed to be the rough and tumble womanizing ass and he's the sweetest boy I've ever met! I expected sex out of him and when we were in bed he really only wanted to kiss and cuddle! I think I'm falling for him. This is nuts he's the exact opposite of what I generally go for. Smart nerdy boys out. Big dumb handy guys in. Yay! Nothing quite like a smart nerdy boy to make a girl feel like the stupid vile scum on the bottom of his shoe.

An I carried such a torch

STILLFLYIN

Sunday, July 9, 2006 1:39 AM

If you think that a smart boy makes you feel like vile scum, than you clearly have been dating some boys who are not as smart as they make themselves out to be. Intelligence is not merely the the accumulation of facts but the ablility to observe and react to the subtleties of the world. And anyone who would make someone feel like shoe scum is not someone who can understant subtleties. And someone who may not be a fountain of factual information but can see when a person is hurting or in need of a friend or simply a shoulder to cry on is truly intelligent.

WHITEFALL

Sunday, July 9, 2006 1:46 AM

Wow StillFlyin', don't recall ever having heard that put better.

"But, these strong women characters?"

"Why aren't you asking 100 other guys why they don't write strong women characters?" -Joss Whedon

MSG

Sunday, July 9, 2006 1:56 AM

Copilot- so happy for you sweety. You deserve this in a big way:) HUGS

Yeah the Utah Browncoates monthly shindig was lovely...food, fun people, time spent hanging out, talking, shopping, and just having fun:)

Must be the day for happy news...I switched school districts after 7 years in ( oh let's just say it) endless and relentless torture and pain from management who was so actively hostile and retaliatory to our special ed teachers that our union had a file drawer set aside every year to fill with that year's complaints about their mistreatment of teachers...I just set up with this new district and it's like nirvana. They are nice to me and instead of forced training on subjects unrelated to what I teach and endless rounds of meetings where we are critcized and threatened...the new district sent me a lovely list to choose from of trainings I might want to ( notice no strong arm or force ) attend if they interest me and offered to pay me for my time...WOW never had that happen. Don't know what I shall do with all this kindness and respect. Not even sure if I know how to deal with it:) but it'll be fun finding out!

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

JAMESTHEDARK

Sunday, July 9, 2006 2:45 AM

All I can say toward the trust comment:

I'm with you, bud.

Oh, and congrats Copilot on your recent acquisition. I'd talk more, but it's midnight, and I'm tired.

--------------
I ain't lookin' for help from on high. That's a damn long wait for a train don't come.

WHITEFALL

Sunday, July 9, 2006 2:48 AM

Lol, MSG, that's great, but it sounds like a lot of bad fiction i've read... it's... TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE!! *dun dun duuun*

But if you really arent sure what you'll do with all the consideration... just keep up that awesome-teacher work, and maybe be a better teacher/happier person for the extra consideration.

Now come on folks, keep the good news rolling!

"But, these strong women characters?"

"Why aren't you asking 100 other guys why they don't write strong women characters?" -Joss Whedon

MSG

Sunday, July 9, 2006 3:22 AM

Thanks whitefall...I guess it just throws me off when district people are nice...I've had my old ones actually call me a bitch in front of my class..One of them was also a prof. of mine and she would deliberately lose my papers so I eventually had to get people in class to verify me turning them in...I could go on and on with the horror...so even if this new district is just reasonably polite and doesn't openly thwart and terrorize me it's an improvements:)

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

WHITEFALL

Sunday, July 9, 2006 3:42 AM

Gorramit MSG, someone should give you a medal!

Or, well... maybe someone just did, indirect like. What goods a medal anyhoo.

"But, these strong women characters?"

"Why aren't you asking 100 other guys why they don't write strong women characters?" -Joss Whedon

PHOENIXROSE

Sunday, July 9, 2006 7:36 AM

*Sigh* Sleep is good.

Ah, trust and sharing. Yes, I think that you should be able to just sit down with a SO and say "I am feeling this way." It's actually important to put it that way, rather than "You are making me feel thus and so." because that crosses a line into accusation wich makes people defensive and unwilling to work through things.
No, nothing should be too much information.
As was stated, when that kind of openess and trust is betrayed it... Well it sucks a lot. I've so far in my life tried to be as open as possible with anyone I dated, and have gotten better at expressing myself so I'm understood. Yes, I've felt betrayed every time I was... Well, betrayed. But that only meant that I could never trust them again. This is why I'm not on very good terms with any ex. But I tried to remember that it was just those particular people who had done it, and I tried to keep myself open to new people. Somtimes it took a long time to open up again.
And here's the thing; being honest early on has a great advantage. There was this guy I saw briefly before I met my Ex of Doom, and we met over the internet and only went out a few times and talked on the phone a lot. I didn't see any reason not to talk about what I got up to and how I was. Well, at one point he kind of burst out with "Wow! ...You're a real freak!" That was followed by a rather nasty silence, I must admit. And I didn't really talk to him again after that. Anyway here's my point: It's better that we both found out before we actually got involved that he thought I was a little out there. If I had tried to hide some things that would come out later, it might have been a lot messier. As it was, I didn't have an emotional investment yet and could cut ties with him fairly easily.
Anyway, that's my story. And I'm going to stick with what I've done so far to make sure someone can accept me before I invest myself. And once I'm really with someone, I'm going to be as open as possible, because otherwise it's not as good. None of it.

If nothing else, I want anyone who had me to look back after dealing with a half-dozen shut off and sulky women and say "Wow, Rose was really open about this kind of thing. I guess I didn't realize what I had..."
Best revenge in the world

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PHOENIXROSE

Sunday, July 9, 2006 11:15 AM

Who needs a medal when there are trophies?

Very happy to hear you're in a better place, dear.

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TRISTAN

Sunday, July 9, 2006 12:19 PM

Morning, all!

Trust is an important part of any relationship. Without it, there can't really be much of a relationship at all. As far as the communication thing goes, it is sometimes easier said than done. I have had conversations with SO's wherein I thought we had resolved issues, settled problems, and established our "stances" on certain things, only to find out I was misunderstood. I try, with my wife, to talk about everything going on in my head; everything I feel impacts us as a couple. We are doing pretty good in the conversation part, but we still need a little work. Piz, I am sorry you ended up in the position you are in...I hope time will heal things for you...that, and finding the right SO!

Copilot, congrats on finding someone! I do have to agree with the other opinions on this board regarding people you have dated in the past. You aer far too smart yourself to ever be put in a situation like that.

MSG, Woo-hooh on the move! Glad it happened to you, but sort of sad the problem still exists in the other district. Go get 'em!

I agree with PR. The trust is just broken between yourself and the other who betrayed you; not the entire world...I had that problem in the beginning, blaming all females for the betrayal of one. I am happy to say I got over that when I was about 16, though. I love everyone except those that betray my trust.

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WHITEFALL

Sunday, July 9, 2006 11:43 PM

Hmmm...... so, what can we ponder now?

All that varying gender stuff, we must be able to think of something... um....

RIVER IS MADE OF CHOCOLATE!!!

ARE YOU?

Ok, that's all I got for now.

"But, these strong women characters?"

"Why aren't you asking 100 other guys why they don't write strong women characters?" -Joss Whedon

PHOENIXROSE

Monday, July 10, 2006 9:22 AM

I am not made of chocolate, though I do not object to playing with it.

Is that all I missed?! Where is everyone?

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TRISTAN

Monday, July 10, 2006 12:37 PM

Morning, all!

Seems to have been a bit dead this weekend. I'll start a new thread to get everyone going again. Be right back with the link.

http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=2&t=22158

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JAYNEZTOWN

Wednesday, January 7, 2026 4:50 PM

Why Brigitte Bardot terrified men
https://www.spectator.com.au/2025/12/why-brigitte-bardot-terrified-men/

...and the islamics of France

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