Male and Female Imponderables--Now We Go In Content

POSTED BY: Tristan
UPDATED: Friday, July 14, 2006 12:56
VIEWED: 20668
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RUGBUG

Thursday, July 13, 2006 5:33 PM (P)

Band names are so incredibly difficult to think up. I admire anyone who comes up with something good. Some friends had a surf music band they called "Wookie Wedgie Luau" That's just plain awful.

Then you end up with a band like The Beatles, which, when broken down is a pretty lame name (always think of the Oneders from That Thing You Do), but turned into something fantastic.

MSG

Thursday, July 13, 2006 5:33 PM (P)

Rugbug- nice jump! though from the pic it looks like you're about to clip the bar:) Yeah I hear you about cost..the Rivergrove show 'bout kills me every year (I go as sis's coach)

Well considering money is the stated reason behind like 75% of divorces it's obviously a problem...

It took us a while to work it out, but my husband and I have gotten our who handles finances to where we are both fine ( this involved me getting a tutoring job so I could have my little spendy moments without tanking the budget)

I think money and how/when/where it is spent can be a real hot button issue in a relationship, but that may just be me:)

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

13

Thursday, July 13, 2006 5:34 PM (P)

The phrase that follows all of my conscious actions is 'what was I thinking?'

I was never a rider, but my band's name is atlantistiger. I'm lead guitar and vocals.

-------------------------------------------------

'It's Braedan. With an A.'

'Shiny moments aren't a destination any of us get to, and stay put forever. They're unknowable, brief flashes in time. That's what makes them shiny.' -GorramReevers

NVGHOSTRIDER

Thursday, July 13, 2006 5:35 PM (P)

For giggles: I'm worth so much more dead than alive. May have to advertize life insurance policy just to get married.
Kinda like walking around with a hundred dollar bill hanging out your fly.

ADD: 13 ia a musician? What do y'all play?

"evil i've come to tell you that shes evil
most definately
evil ornery scandalous and evil
most definately
the tension is getting hotter
i'd like to hold her head underwater"

TRISTAN

Thursday, July 13, 2006 5:37 PM (P)

RugBug, I live in the situation of which you speak. The wife, being younger, likes doing things that I no longer do; ie clubbing, hanging out with friends, etc. I do not have a problem with this...for the most part. There are times I get a little twitchy, because I feel like she should want to be spending time with me. Those twitches only last a short time, though. We do spend a lot of time together, and do go out. I am lucky in that I can always find something to do at the house, be it armoring or sewing, so most of the time she is alright with leaving me by myself.

Mal4Prez, the letter sounded good. I would have been happy and understanding if I received something like that.

______________________________________

KENOBIUS

Thursday, July 13, 2006 5:43 PM (P)

Quote:
Originally posted by msg:

Well considering money is the stated reason behind like 75% of divorces it's obviously a problem...

It took us a while to work it out, but my husband and I have gotten our who handles finances to where we are both fine ( this involved me getting a tutoring job so I could have my little spendy moments without tanking the budget)

I think money and how/when/where it is spent can be a real hot button issue in a relationship, but that may just be me:)

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

D'oh! Of course I ask the question that has already been answered. It was a selfish question, cause I all the time feel frustrated about my lack of money and the various things I cannot pay for, such as taking a lady out to dinner on a regular basis. Or traveling to meet new people to begin with.

http://tinyurl.com/ekv6z

DAYVE

Thursday, July 13, 2006 5:43 PM (P)

Quote:
Originally posted by RugBug:
Dayve: Drummers are delicious. Ain't nothing wrong with a little rhythm.

thank you for that..... have to admit, that whole time in my life was pretty much fun - a tad crazy, but lots of fun...

great toast, btw

endeavor to persevere...

DAYVE

Thursday, July 13, 2006 5:46 PM (P)

Quote:
Originally posted by RugBug:
the Oneders

hey, that's the Oneaders..!

endeavor to persevere...

RUGBUG

Thursday, July 13, 2006 5:46 PM (P)

Quote:
Originally posted by msg:
Rugbug- nice jump! though from the pic it looks like you're about to clip the bar:)

He's actually overjumping the actual jump by about 1 1/2'. Those are 5' standards and the jump was only 2'3". The green rail is part of the arena fence in the background. The way it scanned, the entire jump was left out and then I had to crop other stuff so the pic wasn't HUGE.

As for money, I don't need or expect someone to pay for my life. But I also don't want to pay for their's, so he should be financially stable in the very least. From there I think it's a very individual thing. Hypothetically, when married I think I want three accounts. Joint, which we both contribute to, and then each of us has a 'mad money' account that a certain percentage goes each month. That way, you can have those spur of the moment purchases without justifying them. And if you decide you really need a new saddle, then you can get that without feeling guilty...or asking for it.

13

Thursday, July 13, 2006 5:52 PM (P)

We play every damn thing. Although our 'skill' limits us to mindless riffs and my weird solo. I play either my Gemini II Fender acoustic or a borrowed Washburne. I only use Washburne picks now, and nobody else knows why.

-------------------------------------------------

'It's Braedan. With an A.'

'Shiny moments aren't a destination any of us get to, and stay put forever. They're unknowable, brief flashes in time. That's what makes them shiny.' -GorramReevers

MSG

Thursday, July 13, 2006 5:53 PM (P)

um NV- I think you might want to hlod that info back so you don't end up dead on the highway while your new SO flies to Paris...course you could easily end up with the woman who just wants you for your body...so I don't know where I am going with this...ignore me

Rugbug- I figured that out after a second look:) It is a lovely jump your baby has great form:) My mom has a similar system so my dad doesn't have to develop an anurism when he finds out how much she spent on the last custom saddle:) or the new bit and reins...or the new blanket:)

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

TRISTAN

Thursday, July 13, 2006 5:58 PM (P)

I also am a subscriber to the three accounts way of thinking. The wife and I have "our" account, from which household bills, groceries, things for living are paid from. She has "her" account, from which she pays her own bills and uses it for things like gas, smokes, crazy moments. I have "my" account, from which I pay the myriad of bills I have...student loan, car, etc. I just believe those are my debts, and she shouldn't have to have any part of them. Makes life easier, having the accounts set up that way...also gives me the chance to drop $100 or more on a nice side of leather when I need to!

______________________________________

DAYVE

Thursday, July 13, 2006 5:59 PM (P)

Quote:
Originally posted by RugBug:
Dayve: Drummers are delicious. Ain't nothing wrong with a little rhythm.

thank you for that..... have to admit, that whole time in my life was pretty much fun - a tad crazy, but lots of fun...

or were you thinking of Drumsticks.... as in extra crispy..?

endeavor to persevere...

MSG

Thursday, July 13, 2006 6:01 PM (P)

I have got to get this 3 account system going, but I doubt I could get husband to go for it...oh well I still have my tutoring money so it's all good:)

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

NVGHOSTRIDER

Thursday, July 13, 2006 6:02 PM (P)

Great. Phones got shut off without notice. As the phone lady put it, " We haven't sent shut off notices in years." Well no f8756n' dog doo. I've never been late before so how would I know. Like I said, worth more dead than alive. tOOK ME FIVE MINUTES TO TYPE THIS OUT i'M SO PISSED. Big fingers punching little keys ferociously.
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDGE!!!

"evil i've come to tell you that shes evil
most definately
evil ornery scandalous and evil
most definately
the tension is getting hotter
i'd like to hold her head underwater"

TRISTAN

Thursday, July 13, 2006 6:04 PM (P)

NVG, is it time for us to declare war on a utility company? Let me know, I've wanted an excuse for years!

______________________________________

MSG

Thursday, July 13, 2006 6:06 PM (P)

NV- HUGS and more HUGS and still more HUGS...I wish I could express mail you some ice cream or some such you have now entered the land of
"kill anyone today?"
"day ain't over yet"

Don't you just love that everyone whinges on about how children our the future and we have the most important job on the planet and they depend on us a and blah blah blah right up until it's time to pay us actual money and then they all suddenly get distracted by the football team:)

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

DAYVE

Thursday, July 13, 2006 6:07 PM (P)

Quote:
Originally posted by 13:
We play every damn thing.

13, i started out playing drums with a bassist & blues guitar player - basic blues in e..... man, we'd milk that thing till the bottles flew, but it got pretty boring for me after a while - although the guitarist did go on to be somewhat famous - he backed a lot of good bands back in the day....

endeavor to persevere...

RUGBUG

Thursday, July 13, 2006 6:09 PM (P)

Quote:
Originally posted by Dayve:

or were you thinking of Drumsticks.... as in extra crispy..?

Those are good, too.

NV: How can they shut your phone off without notice? I'd be sooooooo pissed.

They shut my phone off while my arm was broken and I could hardly write checks. I somehow missed the phone bill a few times.

MSG

Thursday, July 13, 2006 6:09 PM (P)

so Tristan how does one declare war on public utilities...is there a form for that or do we have to wait on hold or something...'cause I'd really like to include my cell phone carrier in that:)

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

NVGHOSTRIDER

Thursday, July 13, 2006 6:17 PM (P)

TRISTAN- Being as you are from the south you may understand rural Nevada utilities. Churchill County Communications has run a very profitable conglomerate here in the Lahontan Valley for decades. They stay under the Trade commissions radar by allowing big name providers a small amount of customers in exchange for use of CC Communications hardware. Greedy county F's will get theirs someday. Again, kharma is a cold hard bitch who returns favors equally.

MSG- I do well enough for myself, but I'd helped so many people out that I've basically lost two months wages this year. That, along with the state and BIA are unwilling to alot any money for fostercare for the kids since it is a family placement. Babies dad says he'll send money to help, but none yet. May need to take vacation in Mexico. Gotta brush up on the Mexican. Habla not so bueno.

"evil i've come to tell you that shes evil
most definately
evil ornery scandalous and evil
most definately
the tension is getting hotter
i'd like to hold her head underwater"

13

Thursday, July 13, 2006 6:19 PM (P)

I'd help in the battle, but I'm already waging a war against Uwe Boll. So far, I've annoyed him slightly.

Progress!

-------------------------------------------------

'It's Braedan. With an A.'

'Shiny moments aren't a destination any of us get to, and stay put forever. They're unknowable, brief flashes in time. That's what makes them shiny.' -GorramReevers

MSG

Thursday, July 13, 2006 6:22 PM (P)

NV- that just doesn't seem right. Babies cost money no matter who is taking care of them:( Yeah I know what you mean...it's where most of my tutoring money goes during the school year. the kid who doens't have warm shoes, the sweatshirts and tees for the underdressed, the food for the lunchless, the notebooks and paper for the kids without...by the time we take care of all of them it's a bit slim for us:) But hang in there I swear we get some sort of reward for this ( I've been told )

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

TRISTAN

Thursday, July 13, 2006 6:39 PM (P)

msg, I would guess it might work like this: "Hey, Browncoats, we're having a problem with a certain utility company in the Southwest...think y'all might help out?" Then Jayne gets sent in, handed a large stick, and the rest of us just stand back.

NVG, yes, I understand...sounds like some of the townships I know around here. Gorram Alliance money-grubbers!

______________________________________

MSG

Thursday, July 13, 2006 6:43 PM (P)

ok so can we go put a beat down on cingular wireless??? My cell is acting weird, but I have a few months on my contract and they won't let me trade and get a new phone except for the super expensive price you would pay if you just bought the phone without any plan

Ok rant over...so here's an imponderable is it possible to flirt unconsciously ( I mean can you be acting in a way that others feel is flirtatious without you thinking you are being flirtatious)

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

NVGHOSTRIDER

Thursday, July 13, 2006 6:51 PM (P)

Sure don't help thet the county caters to the US Gov't due to the Naval Air Station either. Not that I have anything against squids and jarheads. Well, not all of them.

Damaged my calm. I have to renew a loan that was to be used to get the AR and the Glock out of the pawn shop.

Guess I better put away the anger. Won't help my cause. Large angry man in the phone company office is not a good thing. Don't need to affirm some of their presumptions about us "darkies". (trust me. I've heard a few of the ladies in the lobby saying stuff they should have been fired for. But again, county politics.)

"evil i've come to tell you that shes evil
most definately
evil ornery scandalous and evil
most definately
the tension is getting hotter
i'd like to hold her head underwater"

NVGHOSTRIDER

Thursday, July 13, 2006 7:00 PM (P)

Sure. I am guilty of it all the time. I usually don't realize it 'til later. Just keeping in good practice I guess. Now I have to apply that to an actual use. May get the chance.
I'm out for a few hours. Gotta go tend to bidnezz.
Hear from y'all soon.

"evil i've come to tell you that shes evil
most definately
evil ornery scandalous and evil
most definately
the tension is getting hotter
i'd like to hold her head underwater"

FUTUREMRSFILLION

Thursday, July 13, 2006 7:02 PM (P)

STEP AWAY FROM THE CINGULAR.

Seriously. They suck. I do this all day. I would rather run over my own head with my car than talk to frickin Cingular anything!

NV - Names please. I have a need to kick old predjudice lady arse!

MSG

Thursday, July 13, 2006 7:05 PM (P)

NV- give em hell ( and those ladies are probably just trying to cover for all those impure thoughts your presence provokes..NOT that that's an excuse!) Hope it all goes well:)

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

TRISTAN

Thursday, July 13, 2006 7:07 PM (P)

MSG, yes indeed, you can. I read body language and eye contact when I am conversing with anyone, and especially focus on nuances in the fairer sex. The way a female moves her own body may not seem flirtatious to her, but a male may read something into it and respond accordingly. Same goes for words. A statement said to mean one thing could be completely misconstrued by the listener. I guess the easiest way to say it is that flirting is in the eye of the beholder.

Oh, if you can figure out where their main office is, I'll send out a call to arms.

NVG, I hate people like the ones you are talking about. I lived in Phoenix for awhile, and knew several Navajos, and they had the same subtle and not-so subtle problems of which you speak. Irks me to no end that the whites (of which "tribe" I belong) think ourselves so high and mighty. Arrgghh.

______________________________________

MSG

Thursday, July 13, 2006 7:13 PM (P)

Living in Utah I can see what you speak of. Had a fabulous Navajo student last year however who was one of the most popular kids in the whole school, a student body officer, and is now at the high school as a student body officer...did a fabulous concert on the flute for assmeblies and such too:)

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

RUGBUG

Thursday, July 13, 2006 7:18 PM (P)

Quote:
Originally posted by Tristan:
I guess the easiest way to say it is that flirting is in the eye of the beholder.

I thnk flirting is more about intent. It's playful conversation without intent. It's flirtation if there is desire involved. And this is mostly from the flirter's perspective. Whether the flirtee feels desire for the flirter is neither here nor there.

MSG

Thursday, July 13, 2006 7:24 PM (P)

hmm that is an interesting point Rugubug:) Flirting intent not outcome? Oh and out of curiosity have you ever shown in Utah? I'd love to see you. I always love watching my sister compete. She jumps like magic ( and I will never forget the time she was thrown by her very stubborn horse and she landed on her feet reigns in hand and just vaulted right back into the saddle and finished)

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

TRISTAN

Thursday, July 13, 2006 7:27 PM (P)

RugBug...huh! Never really thought about it that way. Makes sense, though...

______________________________________

FUTUREMRSFILLION

Thursday, July 13, 2006 7:36 PM (P)

MSG

Almost all of my contact with males has some amount of flirting (except with the exMrFMF and I don't really count him as male). Its just me. Course, that makes me not so popular with the other ladies.

SMARTBUTDUMBBLONDE

Thursday, July 13, 2006 7:37 PM (P)

Damn, I couldn't read all your post cuz I have to go to bed, but I have a great idea for This Is-land...
what if... we got the island, and got the BDHs to come live with us too?
Thanks for your note on my log MSG, really cheered me up since I've had a hwai day, in answer to you question: I want to be a doctor when I'm older.
I have to go now, I'll be back tomorrow, please refrain yourself from too much posting, or it'll take me all night to catch up!
CP: hope you are feeling better now
flirting? I flirt with everybody, and most of the time, it doesn't mean a thimg and I don't even know I'm doing it.
edit: fmf: right there with you, I have way more male friends than female, possibly because of my little flirting thing.

Currently searching for the planet of the hot, rich yet appropriately hygenic man.
98% of teens have smoked pot, if you are one of the 2% that haven't, copy this into your signature

BLACKSHAMROCK5

Thursday, July 13, 2006 7:45 PM (P)

I'm pretty much in the same boat as you Smart, not that I'm complaining. I do tend to have way more male friends than female which the SO does'nt mind since we hang around all of the same people. I do tend to flirt a bit not too much to get me into trouble

Shamrock

Remember that a kick in the ass is a step forward.

RUGBUG

Thursday, July 13, 2006 7:52 PM (P)

Well, dealing too many times with friends who are upset b/c their SO said they were flirting and they had no idea they were, I kind of came up with that idea. A lot of times flirting is just fun. And a good bout of flirting is very stimulating...mentally stimulating, that is. Being clever, witty and good with innuendo can be energizing. It puts people at ease. I've flirted with tons of people I have NEVER had any intent of spending an ounce more time with, much less touching. But there is a line where things become inappropriate and even without intent, one should stay away from that line.

MSG: I've never shown in Utah...and don't really have plans to. I don't think there is much to draw me that way. The furthest I really plan on taking my horse is Indio...and even then, it won't be until I either win the lottery or inherit some bucks (or become a trophy wife...but that's not likely to happen. )

Your sister sounds like a good rider. :) I'll admit to being very happy when I land on my feet, although it is the quickest way to break an ankle. I had an interesting moment that involved a "feet" landing. We placed 3rd a large difficult class flat class. They hand me my ribbon and horse takes two steps and hears the wind rustling the ribbon. I can feel him start to get tense, so I try to drop the ribbon and it catches on the reins. He proceeds to LEAP sideways about 10 feet, right out from under me. I landed on my feet, caught the pony, fetched the ribbon, did a "Superstar" pose to the crowd and exited the arena. Needless to say, pony spent much time with ribbons being rubbed all over him and attached to his bridle after that. 'Course later in the day I came off again, but was on the ground before I even knew what was happening. Damn spooky young horse. He's MUCH better now, but there were some hard times to get him where he is.

SAFEAT2ND

Thursday, July 13, 2006 7:54 PM (P)

Man, trying to keep up with this thread makes me feel like I've entered a Chevette in the Indy 500..

On the flirting issue, apparently I'm a big flirt, but like Smart, I have no idea I'm doing it. I'm just trying to be friendly and get people to smile.

My wife thinks it's charming. She says I have an infectious smile, I put people at ease. Dammit!! I'd like 'em to cringe in fear on occasion!

Safeat2nd, Chief Handyman of Destiny

TRISTAN

Thursday, July 13, 2006 8:05 PM (P)

RugBug, yes, flirting is lots of fun! I don't do it so much anymore, as I am not in contact with that many people of my age group anymore. Around college, flirting was almost a Minor degree for the people I hung around with. It is stimulating (yes, I mean mentally...perverts! ), and does not have to lead anywhere. My wife is a flirt, and for the most part, it does not bother me. I know that she can flirt all day and night, but I am the one she chooses to come home to. It's a good feeling, and it's fun to watch her sometimes. Freaks a lot of people out that her husband is in the room while she's flirting (at parties and such..."safe" environment), but they are set at their ease when I am doing the same. It's also a lot of fun to flirt with your SO!

Safeat2nd, I feel the same way sometimes. There will be an hour or so when nothing gets posted, and then the next hour sees 50 to 100 posts...we are a talkative bunch! We are glad you are with us!

______________________________________

KENOBIUS

Thursday, July 13, 2006 8:25 PM (P)

Yeah, try playing Zelda and then look back here. ;)

Apparently, I'm a horrible flirt. I was suppose to be flirting in Fiddler (Fyedka and Chava for those who know) and after the scene I was told I looked like I was about to savagely attack her. I blame my eyes. It's also probably why I almost always get type-casted as a bad guy, not that that ain't fun, cause it is, it's just puts me in an awkward spot - no one will see me as a good person.

That, among others, is why I've lost any game I had left.

http://tinyurl.com/ekv6z

MSG

Thursday, July 13, 2006 8:44 PM (P)

Hey Kenobius just change the game plan...try being the bad boy flirt instead :) Lots of girls love bad boys:)

Rugbug- yeah my sis has a percheron because we needed someone to go with the nervous arabian who firmly believed every rustle of a leaf was a large snake ready to kill him:)

Tristan- giggles that totally reminded me of the time I help a friend of my SO choose tasteful porn for a website he was expected to design...about 20 min into the process he just stops dead turns to my husband and says " I can't believe I am sitting here choosing porn with your wife" my husband thought it was so funny:)ok that may have been TMI

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

NVGHOSTRIDER

Thursday, July 13, 2006 10:09 PM (P)

FMF- They were in their early thirties. Just close minded locals who don't know better.

MSG- I wish that were the issue. Or maybe it was.

RUGBUG- The action pics are awesome.

"evil i've come to tell you that shes evil
most definately
evil ornery scandalous and evil
most definately
the tension is getting hotter
i'd like to hold her head underwater"

COZEN

Thursday, July 13, 2006 10:12 PM (P)

Gee, did I finally get in on these threads before the 3,000th post?

Quickly, where I'm at: I've scanned a few of these threads, and have likely missed most of the content. Ergo, apologies for wasting bandwith and the resultant eye strain if the following has been addressed, debated, milked dry of all nuance, and discarded.

I pose a "ponderable", if I may call it that. Which is, how many of us have fantasised about another during sex? Or to inspire sex? Doesn't really matter whom else, rather, has that, at times, been a motivating factor?

That may be a difficult question to answer honestly, given that some or many of you have SO's who read these posts.

Fair being fair, my answer is yes. Even with the one whom I loved the most (my first wife), though, truly, on occassion. As for one whom I finally figured out I didn't love, very often, to the point of most times. One risks appearing to be shallow if one admits to this. To which I counter: we're humans with developed brains that have the ability to fantasise. To wit, for instance, buying islands, that sort of thing. I humbly submit there's nothing wrong with the occassional fantasy, and I won't feel guilty about any I've ever had, or may have coming to me.

And, though I do recall typing that it doesn't matter whom else one dreams of when getting it on, I'll mention that for me, it's never been the porno-mag pinup, or the Hollywood starlet or the local bikini contestant. Rather, it's been the lady wearing the floral print skirt in the line at the local Orange Julius, or the one of whom I caught a brief glimpse bending over for the dropped cellphone. The typical "hottie on the bus" scenario.

And: an island would be nice, but, a little clique-ish, n'est c'est pas?

***
Fowl to froggy, the froggy to mammal,
the mammal to monkey, the monkey to man.

MSG

Thursday, July 13, 2006 10:23 PM (P)

it's a very interesting ponderable...I am sorry to say I am so not a visual person that I don't even see images in my dreams ( it's like a narrative I know what's happening, but I don't see anything but blackness) so I've never fantasized during sex ( yes I know I'm a freak...move past it:) Well I am off to the gym for my daily torture. I will check back in in about an hour or so:) Chins UP!!

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

RUGBUG

Thursday, July 13, 2006 10:41 PM (P)

'Night all. Off to ride the pony! (oh, welcome Cozen....)

EMMARIGBY

Thursday, July 13, 2006 10:42 PM (P)

I really can't keep up with you guys!

But the imponderable regarding fantasies is a good one. I am usually too busy focussing on the internal to think about complex fantasies during sex. My 'I'm feeling randy' scenarios are generally fairly straitforward and unimaginative too. I don't know if this reveals some hidded inhibitions but it does make for much uncomfortable silences during phone sex when my partner demands that I tell him my fantasies in detail.
It's odd because I'm fairly imaginative in all other areas of my life.

Ramble over, back to work! See youi guys in anther 3000 posts (i.e.tomorrow!)

___________________
Hissssssssss!

SERYN

Thursday, July 13, 2006 10:45 PM (P)

Quote:
Originally posted by CaliforniaKaylee:
Now that I think about it though, that guy was a major hun dan. Anyone else look back at old relationships and go "What was I thinking?!"?

every bleedin one. sadly. there is a reson i've been single.

as fro liking singleness. I like my independance, but i'd like the snuggliness and the someone to talk to thing as well.

I have a question for you all, not really an imponderable, but I am at the point where i have to get a new job, one that actually means something, not just a crappy trained ape shop minion job working for people who apparently have the intelligence of my little toe.
I'd love to go into any career loosely related to costume - curatorial work, conservation, lecturing and teaching, working in a costume department/shop. The sad fact is, they'd all involve extensive training and voluntary work to get anywhere. which would mean getting another job just as crappy, so that i could volunteer full time. which would mean that my debts continue and i'm mind numbingly bored from day to day.

I'd be willing to go anywhere, any counrty, and do anything so long as it was creative and didn't conflit with my ethics, i'd work on cruise liners or try and find work in america or canada, but weeks of trying to hunt down information as to how i would do this have proved fruitless. i'm also limited in that i can't drive and have no money to support myself in the first few months. which also means i can't move down to london to get to the theatre jobs, even if i could get them without experience.

basically, i'm so depressed about this shitty life i seem to be stuck in that i end up crying. and i don't cry. its just not something i do if i can help at all.

ok, i didn't mean to start whining.

but basically, when looking for jobs I keep seeing these graduate training and other jobs, which are well paid, and theoretically im qualified, and they'd teach me things that i would find usefull in the future, but they are totally soulless, and all though my debts would be paid and id have some kind of income for the first time in my life i'd be utterly miserable.

so what do i do, stick to my guns in the face of a hopeless catch 22 situation and stay in mildly miserablecrap jobs unitl maybe i can claw my way to where i want to be. or sell my soul to sales and marketing execs and be really miserable until hopefully one day i can opt out before i die of stress and finally start living the kind of life i'd enjoy. Option A strikes me as self indulgent and irrisponsible (i'm living, however un willingly, on my mothers charity) and the other, though the adult, sensible thing to do, fill me with apprehension.

ok, now i need to whinge again.

ok, i was going to say something funny as well, i'll get back to you.

sorry to rain on the parade.

Your robot reminds me of you. You tell it to turn it stops. You tell it to stop it turns. You ask it to take out the garbage it watches reruns of Firefly.
http://www.myspace.com/seryndippyt

SERYN

Thursday, July 13, 2006 10:51 PM (P)

oh, i remembered the funny.

the resident sex god in halls in college was a drummer, fondly known as 'the Naked Drummer' (as he always played shirtless, and the way the windows to our rooms were, you could'nt se that he was wearing pants.

he was built like one of those statues of greek god's, absolutlely lovely. He was also sweet and funny and very intelligent.

so i've alway had a soft spot for drummers (actually, a blind spot for musicians in general, i've been with a cellist, a violinist, two guitarists)

Also, Dave Grohl, sex on a stick singer for the Foo's, was a drummer (a cross dressing one at that) and the Foo's own drummer is a sweetie. The Chilli's drummer seems the only sane one amongst them, and turn on the tv i could find a few others.

does that make you feel better?

Your robot reminds me of you. You tell it to turn it stops. You tell it to stop it turns. You ask it to take out the garbage it watches reruns of Firefly.
http://www.myspace.com/seryndippyt

COPILOT

Thursday, July 13, 2006 10:54 PM (P)

THANK YOU ALL FOR HELPING ME THROUGH THE LAST FEW DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That was all for the moment. I just didn't want to forget to say it as I sometimes do.

~Love Copilot

An I carried such a torch

KENOBIUS

Thursday, July 13, 2006 11:00 PM (P)

Wow, seryn you basically described my life situation, you're not in my head again are you? Ever since adding you on myspace, I don't trust you.

I'm not the best person to be giving advice on this subject, cause it does hit so very close to my home. I'm a hippie deep down and think that happiness is more important than wealth, but I am both not so wealthy and not happy at all, so I messed up somewhere with that philosophy.

If you need to vent a little, look me up on msn (tribe_m16@hotmail.com) we can lament together.

http://tinyurl.com/ekv6z

NVGHOSTRIDER

Thursday, July 13, 2006 11:03 PM (P)

Technically I anm not qualified for my job. On paper that is. After I got my foot in the door I was able to train under all the bosses and observe the administrative side of the facility. Not that a half assd trained ape couldn't do my job. I'd just have to show him how before I left. Adult and sensible is fine for only so long. Those meandering thoughts of elsewhere will bite you in the ass for leaving them behind.

Kinda leads into what I was thinking about.
Heard a big to do on the radio over the shuttle doing some spin manuever in space, (the guys talking about it had no clue what they were talking about so I have to find out myself). I suddenly got very depressed. We will never in our lives go into the black. That is a problem for a person like me who looks to the stars for escape. Do women have the same distant feeling as men? Do they look to the horizon and feel the need to go regardless of the consequences? Do women search for a reason to stay rather than to go? Am I alone in feeling lonely due to having no other person to pine over? Is anyone else as tired as I am asking questions?

Losing my mind.

"evil i've come to tell you that shes evil
most definately
evil ornery scandalous and evil
most definately
the tension is getting hotter
i'd like to hold her head underwater"

CALIFORNIAKAYLEE

Thursday, July 13, 2006 11:30 PM (P)

Seryn, while I don't work with costuming at all, I do work in an industry that's extremely hard to break into, and one about which I know a lot of people have asked the same questions you are: Should I keep working at an unfulfilling but paying job, or should I throw caution to the wind and follow the dream?

Having been asked that question by people trying to break into the industry more than a few times, I'll try to generalize my answer so that it might be useful to you.

When you're starting out, work at whatever job you can get and save up enough money to move to one of the hubs of the industry (for costuming, my guesses would be London, New York, or LA, but you'd know better than I would). While you're working that soulless job and saving up money, spend as much of your free time as you possibly can doing industry-related self-directed work on the side. I don't know exactly what that would entail for costuming, but it would all depend on what sorts of things would help you get a job in costuming five years from now. Do some research into it, but my guesses would be things like volunteering to help with the costuming at a high school or community theater near where you live now, putting together a portfolio of costuming sketches, learning to sew (or learning more complicated techniques than you currently know), that sort of thing. Basically, anything that you'll be able to put on your resume once you're ready to break into the industry.

Once you've saved up enough money to make the move to an industry hub, start looking for jobs out there. Get another crap job in the industry city if you have to, but as early as possible, start looking for a crap job *within* the industry you want to get into. I've never done any sort of theater above community theater, but even those needed tons of people back stage and before opening to get everything done. Look on Craigslist.org, find message boards populated with people in the industry, anywhere that mentions job openings, and take the first paying job you can get.

Once you've got your foot in the door, getting other jobs will be easier. Continue to work on your portfolio and side skills while you work in the theater box office or whatever, and make friends with people who work in the area you want to work in. Eventually one of the people you've made friends with will say "Yeah, actually, I do know of a Costume Mistress's Assistant job at a theater across town. Do you have any samples or sketches I could show this friend of mine?" And since you've been doing all this stuff in your free time, you *will* have something to show.

Like I said before, I don't really have any knowledge of the costuming world, but it's been my experience that any industry that's hard to break into, the two best things you can do to break in are to make friends with people in the industry, and practice the craft in your free time. The other thing to keep in mind is that while these jobs can be dream jobs (and believe me, I *LOVE* my job), they usually come with a high price. Even once you have the job you want, you're going to have to keep up that same pace that you set while you were trying to break in. These sorts of jobs are usually hugely demanding (since so many people want in, only the best of the best who can devote huge amounts of energy to it get to keep their jobs), but at the end of the day, if you love what you're doing, it's all worth it.

~CK

You can't take the sky from me...

MSG

Thursday, July 13, 2006 11:57 PM (P)

Seryn- I agree with everything Ck said and I'd like to add a side note that being trained in management and advertising will very much enhance the likely hood that a theater will want you. See most theaters are on a tight budget and having someone who knows a lot about advertising and marketing will really be an asset to them and something that will make you stand out as a better candidate than others...so consider the souless stuff a passport to the theater:)

NV- yes I would love to leave this planet and go off to see what's out there. I love looking at the stars and thinking I wonder if there are planets near it and if they have beaches. Who says it won't happen in our life time?? my mom was born in 1947 and I bet when she was our age she never thought people from all parts of the globe could talk to each other in real time connected by an invisible web of computers...so don't give up!

Copilot- any time baby girl...we love you HUGS!!!

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

PIZ

Friday, July 14, 2006 12:09 AM (P)

Gorram it! It's impossible to keep up with these Imponderables threads! Is that all you guys do all day?

--
"That's what government's for: get in a man's way." - Mal

KENOBIUS

Friday, July 14, 2006 12:12 AM (P)

Quote:
Originally posted by Piz:
Gorram it! It's impossible to keep up with these Imponderables threads! Is that all you guys do all day?

--
"That's what government's for: get in a man's way." - Mal

Yeah, pretty much.

http://tinyurl.com/ekv6z

CALIFORNIAKAYLEE

Friday, July 14, 2006 12:22 AM (P)

Lol. Well, I have it open all day, but I'm always doing othr things. Usually working, but I did just get back from working out right before my last post.

~CK

You can't take the sky from me...

MSG

Friday, July 14, 2006 12:25 AM (P)

Piz- well we do sometimes do other stuff:)

CK- me too:) Just got back from working out...which I do because I worked out to lose weight and now I have to work out to keep it off and does anyone see a vicious cycle here or is that just me?

OK here's an imponderable...What one food item or dish do you consider romantic?

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

TRISTAN

Friday, July 14, 2006 12:25 AM (P)

Cozen, welcome aboard!

Seryn, don't feel bad. You know what my interests are as far as drama and costuming go...that is what I pictured myself doing. Yet, as the fates would have it, I am in insurance. The last place anyone I know would have pictured me. So, follow whatever dream it is you have, and quickly!

NVG, you are describing a great longing of mine, too. I have followed the space program since I was able to understand what it meant, tried to watch each launch and follow the mission until they land again. Each time they launch, I wish I was with them. I know in my heart, we will one day go out into the black.
I also know your wanderlust...I have it, too, and it strikes at odd moments. I just want to up and take off sometimes.

CK, wow. You are an expert at translating coherent thoughts into the written word. Seryn, CK's got a plan here!

Copilot, got nothing but love for you, dear!

Piz...well, yes, this is what we do all day. Or try to. Sometimes this annoying thing called my job gets in the way, and keeps me from posting for a spell.

My fellow Imponderable-ers, I must bid you goodnight. I have not had the chance to do that in a long time!

______________________________________

CALIFORNIAKAYLEE

Friday, July 14, 2006 12:32 AM (P)

Tristian: 'Tis what I'm paid to do! My whole career is based around being able to communicate clearly and gracefully through text. Also, I've climbed that mountain, and it's easier to see the path from the top.

Romantic food: Strawberries and whipped creme. Or really anything and whipped creme.

~CK

You can't take the sky from me...

PIZ

Friday, July 14, 2006 12:33 AM (P)

Quote:
Originally posted by msg:
OK here's an imponderable...What one food item or dish do you consider romantic?

Any food can be romantic in the right situation, with the right person.

Except onions, which are just plain evil. If there were such a thing as "God," and I were that thing, I'd get rid of onions. Then famine, disease, drought, etc., but onions first.

--
"That's what government's for: get in a man's way." - Mal

NVGHOSTRIDER

Friday, July 14, 2006 12:36 AM (P)

Well, I gotta jet too. Hope all have a good evening. Be looking at the sky tonight.

"evil i've come to tell you that shes evil
most definately
evil ornery scandalous and evil
most definately
the tension is getting hotter
i'd like to hold her head underwater"

WHITEFALL

Friday, July 14, 2006 4:02 AM (P)

Urgh, breaking into industries... not looking forward to that. (Want to be a writer, lol.) Oh well, I'll burn that bridge when I come to it.

Copilot, you are mighty, keep up that whole not-miserable thing!

Hmm.... what imponderables are there? No opinion on the romantic food, or the last couple of questions...... meh, I'll keep watch. (Really i'm on here a lot, but you guys are on SOOO much more hehe.)

"But, these strong women characters?"

"Why aren't you asking 100 other guys why they don't write strong women characters?" -Joss Whedon

PHOENIXROSE

Friday, July 14, 2006 4:18 AM (P)

I've been in relationships when I paid for almost everything. I didn't mind then, but kinda do now, after the fact. Not made of money, here, just happen to have a job. This was more in my teen years, though. I wouldn't want a man to pay for me all the time, but sometimes it's nice.
I have apparently been totally flirtatious without knowing, yeah. Most times I know I'm being flirty, but I think there's a certain body language that I can't just turn on; it happens all by itself! I used to do it a lot more and apparently led some people on. I try to reign it in a little now.
County politics, money issues, all that is icky.
Three accounts sounds good to me. Not sure if that's what my mom and stepdad have set up. I know she doesn't have two checking accounts she writes from though. She is very prompt with payment, so I think she pays most of the bills, but he gives her money for the checking account. Anyway, as long as all the bills get paid. Too bad there tends to be not a lot of money left over now with the house and all.
I have Sprint through Working Assets. Never had a problem with them. In fact, Working Assets is the shiniest company ever to get phone service through; they donate to stuff and give you free ice cream. At least for awhile. Just a thought.
I haven't fantasized during sex, or really to inspire sex, but sometimes a sexy scene of someone I'm crushing on in a movie or going to a concert would get me jazzed for it. Ex of Doom would sometimes ask "you're not pretending I'm so-and-so are you?" This was particularly funny to me when the person in question was female. But I loved him so much, and that was really what made it worth it to have sex; I just wanted him. However many crushes I might have had, however many people I found to be very hot, at the end of the day he was who I wanted in bed with me. When I was away from him, though, I did tend to fantasize a lot, both about him and others.
Yeah, I don't really like being single. There are times when I'll think "I'm glad I don't have to deal with anyone else today." but nothing beats having someone to snuggle with. I'm already very tired of being single. I very much like human contact. All forms of it. It just relaxes me like nothing else can.
Seryn, it sounds like the crappy jobs you have aren't doing you much good and also aren't paying the bills. Might as well have a crappy juob that pays well so you can save up a bit. I think you'll get out faster with more money; that is usually the way of it. Just so long as you remember to limit your spending! (I would have a hard time with this...) I believe happiness is important, but it's hard to be happy when you have no time, and time is unfortunately something that must be bought like any other precious comodity.
I think CK has it right, I'll just shut up now and let her talk.
NV, yes I pine for the stars. Sometimes I just want to see how far a tank of gas will take me. Real life bites sometimes.
no, I sleep all day. I do this all night
ONE food item? Ummmmmmmm.... Yeah I don't know. Mango. Cheesecake. Chocolate. anything that has a sensual taste and can be fed to me. Or, you know, eaten off me. Sorry if that's TMI.
So, CK, what do you do? Tech writing? Or is it programing? Or something?
Yay, I got to the end!

**********************************

**********************************

KENOBIUS

Friday, July 14, 2006 4:49 AM (P)

Quote:
Yeah, I don't really like being single. There are times when I'll think "I'm glad I don't have to deal with anyone else today." but nothing beats having someone to snuggle with

That's what kills me the most.

I'm going to sound like a whiner, but I really hate money. It has ruined everything. I would be dead if I didn't have my parent's house to stay at. (Laugh away) I can barely afford to pay my personal bills, let alone the stuff they cover. It basically sets up a deadly triangle in which I can't afford to do much of anything because my job sucks at working more than two days a week, my car could stop functioning at any moment, and my social pool is evaporating. Gah, and on top of this, I am suppose to find a partner that can tolerate all my loser qualities? Not going to happen.

All day long I sit around, praying the phone rings, but when it does, I'm too depressed to do anything. Somehow I still drag myself to theater and put on a show.

Here's a question, where are all the ladies at in my town and why did they leave?

http://tinyurl.com/ekv6z

PHOENIXROSE

Friday, July 14, 2006 5:03 AM (P)

Don't feel bad, Kenobius, I live at home too. I'm working up to moving out; I have to pay my mom rent. But it's not much rent for what I get. I love that house. I'd like to have more extra cash, though. After bills, there isn't a lot.
Hey, at least your phone rings. I'm lucky to get a call a week.

**********************************

**********************************

KENOBIUS

Friday, July 14, 2006 5:19 AM (P)

Quote:
Originally posted by PhoenixRose:
Don't feel bad, Kenobius, I live at home too. I'm working up to moving out; I have to pay my mom rent. But it's not much rent for what I get. I love that house. I'd like to have more extra cash, though. After bills, there isn't a lot.
Hey, at least your phone rings. I'm lucky to get a call a week.

Well, from what I've noticed around here, you tend to go to sleep when others are getting up. That MAY have something to do with it.

If it helps, most of the calls are from the one person I don't like to hang out with much anymore.

EDIT: I'm calling it a night, all this sitting around all day wears one out.

http://tinyurl.com/ekv6z

PHOENIXROSE

Friday, July 14, 2006 6:03 AM (P)

Yeah, I'm working on that. Graveyard worked well for me when I had a set social life. For meeting new people it's not so good. But still, I wish my friends would call me more. I mean, I'm quite free in the evenings when I don't have work.

I need a new job I need a new job I need a new job.

There, I typed it three times, it is a wish the universe has heard and tomorrow I'll see a classified of a well-paying job with benifits that will hire me just because I ask

**********************************

**********************************

TRISTAN

Friday, July 14, 2006 12:56 PM (P)

Morning, all!

A few before I build a new thread...

Romantic food...I'd have to say chocolate. Nothing says love better than chocolate!

Kenobius, you'll be alright. I had to go back to living at home three times in my past...the last while I was married the first time. Now, I rent a nice house, have a good job and loving wife. I know you have heard this before, but things will work out for you.

Alright, coffee and then a new thread!

New thread:
http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=2&t=22281

See you all there!

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