Male and Female Imponderables--Is this a dagger I see before me?

POSTED BY: Tristan
UPDATED: Tuesday, August 1, 2006 21:18
VIEWED: 21636
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TRISTAN

Friday, July 28, 2006 9:48 PM

New thread, same Imponderable people!

Last thread:
http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=2&t=22586&m=349705#349705

Enjoy!

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NVGHOSTRIDER

Friday, July 28, 2006 9:54 PM

First! Just had to win for once.
Win? Maybe I just have less to do that everyone else. I suck!

"...And them chains them chains
Their 'bout to drag me down"

AZHEA

Friday, July 28, 2006 9:56 PM

Valentine's?

The ring my dear husband originally got me when we wed doesn't fit properly, the vagaries of monthly cycle prevent me wearing it consistently. So, this last V-Day he bought me three rings, a stacking set, of the proper size. He's shinily awesome!!

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I mean to confound these bungers!
http://www.freewebs.com/liadanfirefly/index.htm

CALIFORNIAKAYLEE

Friday, July 28, 2006 9:57 PM

Pullin a quote of NV's from the end of the last thread...

Quote:
Why? is my only question about Valentines Day. Ain't it hard enough to keep up with those you love all year. Plus there's: anniversaries, weddings, funerals, religious holidays, social holidays, cultural holidays, etc, etc, etc.

My husband and I have everything lumped together at one part of the year, with nothing more than about three weeks between events. We have his birthday, then Christmas, then our anniversary, then Valentines day, then my birthday. So Valentines tends to be a little low-key with us, hehe. He brought me flowers this past year, and I think we may have gone out to dinner at IHOP because I had a hankering for French toast...

~CK

You can't take the sky from me...

NVGHOSTRIDER

Friday, July 28, 2006 10:06 PM

Okay, so not the greatest memories associated with V Day. Only one good day out of twenty some years of memories. One of those picnics in wild places. Sometimes one good memory is all you need, I guess.

"...And them chains them chains
Their 'bout to drag me down"

RUGBUG

Friday, July 28, 2006 10:13 PM

MSG: That is a cute story. I can totally picture your face. And a man that is willing to make lighthearted fun of the ridiculousness that is relationships is a keeper.

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"My feelings are changeable but intense" Anya (season 7 Buffy)

MSG

Friday, July 28, 2006 10:27 PM

yeah he's really funny:) It was just so me as well.

CK- I prefer the low key valentine's day make nifty food ( usually all finger food/ h'or douvres) and watch a video. We alternate who get's to pick it. It was my turn this year so I picked Alien vs. Predator.

NV- that's it:) we are all pitching in and buying you a russian mail order bride ( just kidding hon) I just seriously cannot believe that women in your town are this dumb. Is there something in the water? Were they all victims of some government neutering experiment?? I mean come on- you are gorgeous, funny, smart, employed ( and in a job that makes a meaningful contribution to the community), single, and interested in having a real relationship. I have to say that list right there is like ever woman I know's dream guy..SO apparently you have the misfortune to be stranded in the only town in the entire U.S. peopled by fembots:)

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

NVGHOSTRIDER

Friday, July 28, 2006 10:35 PM

I have to admit, it is a very cute story.
Had very little luck being sweet and/or thoughtful. Seems like I hear how great my gestures are way after the fact. I don't expect any gratitude or even a response from much of anything that I do anymore because of that fact. Alright, someone slap me or say something funny because I'm gettin' too whiny for myself.

ADD: I live in a town surrounded by farming community, out of state folks looking to escape the state of California, and Naval Air Station Fallon. I had stated previously that I have alot of competition. I really don't. Too many of the women in my town have been ruined by transient cultures. Duty rotation, incarceration, and chemical dependancy have jaded the ladies of my town so much that it makes me sick. Though I deny it, there is still alot of negativity towards Indians here. I would say eighty percent of the Indian males in this town have proven the reasons for alot of those prejudices.

"...And them chains them chains
Their 'bout to drag me down"

MSG

Friday, July 28, 2006 10:40 PM

OK so a man who is well known at work for being polite and getting along with everyone comes into work on a Monday with two black eyes. Everyone in the office is confused and wonders how such a man could have upset someone or gotten in a fight. The man explains that he got them at church on Sunday. People are even more confused. He explains " well I came late to church and had to sit in the back row. In front of me was a woman. When they had us rise to sing I noticed her dress had gotten caught up in her bum. So I pulled it out, and she smacked me in the eye." Another co- worker says " how did you get the second black eye?" The man replies " Oh when she got so upset I tucked it back in and she hit me again."

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

MSG

Friday, July 28, 2006 10:51 PM

yes I do know how truly bad that joke is...and sadly I heard it last night around the campfire. My weird, but seriously fun uncle told it to a group of 10-14 year olds. I told him he'd better be on call for the principal's office when they re-told it:)

I am off for the evening to eat and rest and hopefully ditch this annoying cold ( which is my own fault because I let my baby sister wear my sweatshirt all day, she has a cold, and then slept on it, forgot my pillow and all, and then woke up with her cold)

Everyone have a fantastic weekend...

NV I am giving you a homework assignment. Walk up to a nice girl whose company you might enjoy and ask her out!!!!!

Tristan- good luck on the boots and this dratted project that has taken you away so much.

Rugbug- I wish that a magical curry comb will show up and groom your horse for you...or a cute guy who will:)

Everyone enjoy and I will bop back in tomorrow to annoy you all with my chatter:) I love that you guys will let me talk and talk and never once roll your eyes where I can see it:)

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

NVGHOSTRIDER

Friday, July 28, 2006 10:53 PM

Alright, you blind sided me with that one. Wasn't really expecting it. See what happens when you ask for either/or.
Issue: I experienced a bit of strict discipline growing up. They call it child abuse these days. I ain't afraid of alot, but that is one of my fears. Everyones told me that I have a good heart and wouldn't do that. But its still in there. I just noticed how comfortable or accepting I am with physical aggression toward myself, (ie. preferring a slap to something funny). Any attention is better than none.

"...And them chains them chains
Their 'bout to drag me down"

TEACHDAIRE

Friday, July 28, 2006 10:54 PM

Ok, here's one.

Why is it that members of the opposite sex you really like, but don't seem to notice you as a potential partner always seem to tell you about their love lives in really long, drawn out and painful detail? Is it some kind of genetic insensitivity? Or are they just doing it on purpose?

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For every battle honour, a thousand heroes die along, unremembered and unsung...

MSG

Friday, July 28, 2006 11:08 PM

NV- hmmm I'd just say preferring the slap is because it's less emotion more quick solution... Now how's that date coming?

Teach- definite genetic insensitivity...combine with mild stupidity:) ( mind it wouldn't hurt if you actually told person you liked them. At the very least it'd shut them up:)

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

MSG

Friday, July 28, 2006 11:09 PM

by the way NV...you ever hit a kid even when you were blind mad? ..didn't think so:) So you already know you wouldn't.

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

NVGHOSTRIDER

Friday, July 28, 2006 11:52 PM

Okay, as usual, MSG is right. Just hate the idea of that, (and other things) bein' a part of me.

This time of the year is easy to ask someone out. Outdoor activities and ice cream. No blaring music and drunk folk to contend with.
Will do MSG.

"...And them chains them chains
Their 'bout to drag me down"

NVGHOSTRIDER

Saturday, July 29, 2006 12:10 AM

Well folks, I'm out for the weekend. Love y'all.

Weapons: Keep 'em clean.
Thoughts: Dirty as you can.

"...And them chains them chains
Their 'bout to drag me down"

JAMESTHEDARK

Saturday, July 29, 2006 1:06 AM

NV: Yes. There is somebody out there as depressed as you. Me, four years ago. And maybe now. Not very good at introspection, until sufficient time's passed.

Valentines day is just another unpleasant day in an unpleasant month for me. Being perpetually alone makes the day somewhat the more unpleasant because the whole theme of "love-love togetherness love!" is shoved so far down my throat it starts flyin' out my pi gu, and it doesn't help that this particular day of state-enforced togetherness takes place on the coldest month of the Canadian winter. Hell, there are times I just want to fling a snowball at people WAAAAAAAY into the spirit as I pass them walking on the street.

The most romantic thing I've done on a Valentine's Day was tear out a closet to make room for a shower stall. I don't like Valentines.

Discipline: I was spanked as a kid. Not very often, but it happened. I don't think it's warped me mentally or socially. The Warping happened in elementary school. Don't much know if I'd do as my father did, especially considering how he intimated that he regretted it enormously after the fact. Point of fact, there's alot about me I don't know... Kinda creepy, sometimes...
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I ain't lookin' for help from on high. That's a damn long wait for a train don't come.

ODDSBODSKINS

Saturday, July 29, 2006 1:20 AM

the insensitivity of the opposite sex: i'm inclined to think this is primarily because, when you fancy the pants of someone, whether or no you make it obvious, you are more likely to be attentive, appreciative, polite and solicitous when they're talking to you, and as such they may be more inclined to view you as someone that's easy to talk to and as such do just that.

valentines day: always manage to be single for valentines day...t'aint intentional, s'just worked out that way, but my one and only claim to a good valentines day was my 18th birthday (four days apart) which i spent in paris with 27 single women ^^ unfortunately it was a school art trip but if i left off that detail it would make for a good story.

PHOENIXROSE

Saturday, July 29, 2006 3:33 AM

Muuuuuuuuuurrr.... Um, good morning everybody. Lesse, what'd I miss? NV, I personally feel a little silly if I start "hunting". It's like I'm trying too hard. I can express an interest, but if it isn't expressed back right away, I kinda go "Oh, well, then. Let's not waste my time." That's all I've got for ya.
As for being depressed...Let's not go into that. I'm more depressed because I have far too many completely out-of-reach (for the moment) people to pine over. Not to mention still suffering the slings and arrows of big mega broken-hearted angst.
But let's not go into that.
Hmmmmm, hunting in packs. I guess I do prefer to be out with some friends; makes me feel less lame. Sometimes I get the courage to talk to a guy, too! Of course, the last guy I talked to gave me his number and then moved back to Colorado Springs That went well. I wasn't sure about dating him, but would have liked to hang out more at least. I need friends just as much as I need dates.
I've never had a really romantic valentines day First one I was with Ex of Doom on we were both in a bad mood for various reasons and we ended up just kind of cuddling in a park. Actually that was kinda nice. Most recently he was in a hospital. Yeah, that was fun. Also led right up to the dumping.

But Beltaine is more important to me. Most romantic thing I did on Beltaine? Lost my virginity.
It was romantic at the time.
It hasn't ed up one of the most important holidays on the Pagan calendar for me or anything.
And look new thread! (I love playing catchup)
TeachDaire: members of the opposite sex who see you as a friend are probably looking for an opposite sex perspective on their problem. A hint though; it is the perfect opening. If they are complaining about something, you can just say "Well, some people are jackasses. I would never treat you that way." It might not work, but then it might.
And, looks like I have come to the end. And everyone is gone for the weekend! The whole weekend! What will I do?

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STEAMER

Saturday, July 29, 2006 3:58 AM

*delurks*

Hey, gang...anybody mind me swingin' in?

I just have two platinum to toss into the insensitivity cup. How about those times when, no matter how hard, how often or how desperately you pour your heart out, no matter how hard you try to convince them that you mean well, the object of your affection just flat-out refuses to give you another chance and you can't conjure why? Do you find it's worse when there's no apparent reason, or when it becomes plain that they're just too gorram busy thinking about themselves?

*looks at title of thread and thinks of Dead Poets Society* "Or maybe you could imagine John Wayne doing Macbeth, going, Wull, is this a DAG-ger Ah see bah-fore me??!?!"

~
Shiny. Is that how you're all feeling?
Then perhaps Mal Reynolds IS in your best interests as captain.

PHOENIXROSE

Saturday, July 29, 2006 4:06 AM

Of course we don't mind you swinging in!
I do have to ask, though, if you're wanting a second chance, what did you do with your first one? Maybe the object of your affection is just worried about history repeating itself (I know I would be, but that's my personal situation) and can't stand to be hurt again. However if it is that they're too busy with themselves, well, you don't really need that in your life.
I think it's worse if there's no given reason; if you've read these thread you know that has made me tear a lot of hair out. Of course that was a no given reason for breaking up with me in the first place.
I don't wanna think about that anymore.

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TRISTAN

Saturday, July 29, 2006 4:25 AM

Late, late evening, all. I have a few minutes to dispose of, so I thought I'd drop in here to say hello...and maybe answer some imponderables.

Steamer, welcome to the thread! Hope you plan on staying awhile...we always enjoy new folk.

Most romantic Valentine's...y'all are going to think this is sick, but the wife and I, this past Valentine's, had dinner together, then curled up on the sofa and watched Saw II. I know, not the most romantic thing in the world, but we were together, we were in lvove, and the how and why's didn't really matter.

Discipline: Not sure where this one was asked...
I was disciplined as a child, but I don't really remember physical discipline. I am sure it happened a few times, but it wasn't so traumatic that I have flashbacks or anything. I believe I turned out alright.

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STEAMER

Saturday, July 29, 2006 4:26 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by PhoenixRose:
Of course we don't mind you swinging in!
I do have to ask, though, if you're wanting a second chance, what did you do with your first one? Maybe the object of your affection is just worried about history repeating itself (I know I would be, but that's my personal situation) and can't stand to be hurt again. However if it is that they're too busy with themselves, well, you don't really need that in your life.

Mm, took me just a bit too long to figure out that last part. The first chance I speak of - this was a few years back, and I knew for a fact that this individual had no romantic history to repeat. It was naught but a casual date; and for reasons unfathomable at the time, she quite suddenly shut down afterward. Wasn't like I gave her any reason to be afraid. As I say, it was a while ago, but I smarted from it for years to follow.

~
Shiny. Is that how you're all feeling?
Then perhaps Mal Reynolds IS in your best interests as captain.

PHOENIXROSE

Saturday, July 29, 2006 4:36 AM

Well, shutting down for no reason, that's a different thing. Maybe she just has issues. I'm amazed at what certain issues do to people.
Do you really want to try dealing with that? If so, I can only tell you to always keep your word and go slow and steady with her. Not saying it will work, but if anything will...

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JUBELLATE

Saturday, July 29, 2006 4:45 AM

I find the people I've dated have nothing but issues. I'm a very poor chooser of girlfriends. Or maybe I just handle what other people consider normal worse.

The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule. – H.L. Mencken

TRAVELER

Saturday, July 29, 2006 8:14 AM

Just got an Email telling me somebody replied to my post in this thread. Since I never created a post in the first place, I am assuming there is some type of time warp going on and I better create a post very quickly before I am lost in a vortex. My ears start ringing when that happens.

Now to be polite and discuss the thread. Dating I figure. Yes I don't do very well picking out women. Have a bad sense of what they are about. I don't think I will ever learn. But doesn't everybody have issues. I certainly do. As a matter of fact I probably saved some poor woman from dealing with my issues by not getting seriously involved. But I would prefer someone in my life. Being alone sucks.

PHOENIXROSE

Saturday, July 29, 2006 8:35 AM

So here's something that's kinda been running through my mind. Cheating; who do you blame? It seems like (at least in the media) the woman is basically always blamed. She's either the temptress or the unfaithful skank. I don't think that's fair. In a way it's kind of saying that a woman is the one who would be in charge of sex, but it also really bothers me because it's like saying men are never responsible for their actions or just don't have a choice in the matter or something.
So, if you were to (hypothetically) catch a SO cheating on you, would you blame them or would you blame the person they were cheating with? Me, I would blame them and be very angry and extremely unlikely to stay with them. A lot of people, however, have worked through such things. Not sure how, but it's been done.
Thoughts?

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TRAVELER

Saturday, July 29, 2006 9:14 AM

A lot of people get married or otherwise serious for the wrong reasons. My mother fell for dad and they did pretty for a while but my old man was addicted to alcohol and fried his brain. He blained everybody else for everything that happened to him and never owned up to his own faults. My mother was to in love to see this and tried to keep the marriage going even though my father treated like dirt. He cheated because he thought in his twisted mind that he deserved it. Well you can't hold things together simply because you love someone. Or that which some people call love is just some false pride. People get screwed up pretty easily. I've seen it happen to more than one person and it creates a lot of damage before it ends. I wish my mother had left my father long before they finally split up. But that's the past. I have a life to live and I am trying my damnest to do it without hurting anyone. I find it is not an easy thing to do. I get lost in my own selfish interests and have to be pulled back a lot. Fortunately I stopped alot of the bad behavior a learned from my father before it was to late. I was close to following the same road. You would think I would know better, but you get a lost and let me tell you it can be hard to find your way back. No. Women are not skanks. I find men to be worse at relationships than women. I could really punch some guys right in the nose for the way they treat the women in their life. The problem I find most women have is they don't to let these bastards go. It really take one hell of a hard ride before some of them do. Never let a man treat you like dirt. Get rid of them. there are plenty of men out there who will really respect you. They may be hard to find but don't stop looking. And if a guy starts to change in his attitude after what appears to be a good relationship don't wait like my mother and ruin your life trying to patch something that only the the guy can do. It is up to the person having the problem to fix it. You can help but it still responsibilty to check their behavior. Any trys to shot you, you shot em back. I'm attempting a quote there. Not sure if it correct but you get the picture. I could probaly say more but this has gotten very long. So take what agrees with you and leave the rest.

Traveler

DANCINGNEKO

Saturday, July 29, 2006 1:01 PM

Hi all. I've missed too much (school has started again *bleah*) so answering what little I can:

Valentines: *shrugs* It's been a while since I've had a S.O. The best Valentines' in the past couple of years was getting a balloon from a co-worker (he gave to all the women in my office one) for Valentine's day. Other than that, I tend to have bad luck around that time.

Cheating: Been on the receiving end. I blame the ex for being a brd and twisting me around so much that I knew about the online flirting and the plans to go visit the new person the ex was falling for. (Ex even wanted my 'okay' to go and visit online-person in Australia...) Then again, I've looked back and wondered what I was trying to hold on to so hard...back then, though, I really wanted it to work. brd ex1 eventually moved to Australia and eventually got ("shotgun") married (and I've heard, divorced) to online-person. It's taken me a long time to unscrew what brd ex1 and brd ex2 did to me mentally and emotionally . (I guess I'm a bit of a slow learner.)

Unfortunately, it has made me slightly wary of my taste in the opposite sex, to the point that I plan on running any future SO's past a handful of my friends. If they compare the SO to ex1 or ex2, then I'm gone so fast, it'll make heads spin.

Teachdaire: Umm...I'd vote genetic cluelessness. Sometimes people can't tell unless you 'em. (Me, for instance...I'm just used to being considered a "pal" by the opposite sex, since I tend to be interested in things that are dominated by them.) (And I second Oddsbodkins's statement.)

Welcome Steamer: Maybe you hit a sensitive nerve, or a "absolute deal-breaker" in her book? As an example: I will not tolerate dating a person who attempts to "social engineer" or smoothly twists the truth so that they can get what they want. I've been burned by someone who claimed to be this, and refused to continue dating someone else when I found them doing this.

Welcome Traveler: I agree. Being alone (when you really don't want to be) stinks. My only issue is that being with someone just to be with someone can be worse than being alone. Think of it this way -- while you're alone, you're learning how to become the person you would want to be around. You're also learning how to handle things on your own so if you have to in the future, you can live without your spouse/SO for whatever reason.

(That's my story and I'm sticking to it, otherwise I'd have to tell NV to move over and outdepress him.) *hugs NV* From what you post NV, I'd go out with you, 'cept for the what 10k miles currently between us.

*looks at the time* Okay...it's ever so late here (nearly 3 a.m. here) so I'm going to wander off. *gives hug to CP* Remember CP, there is a reason that FSO has the "F" in front. Ignore him and feel free to toss him with my brd exs 1 and 2.

Until later...*waves*

PHOENIXROSE

Saturday, July 29, 2006 1:16 PM

Aw, Neko
I'm sorry. But I'm glad you didn't stay with him. I understand the wanting it to work even after it is obviously dead. My Ex of Doom didn't cheat on me (except maybe in his head) but it was still dead and I tried to resuscitate it. If he had helped it might have worked, but he didn't.
Grrrrrr! Arrrrg!

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DAYVE

Saturday, July 29, 2006 2:41 PM

good morning everyone,
just dropped by for a few... and read through the imponderables.... i don't have comments for all of them, although i will say that Tristan and MSG can really pick romantic v-day movies.... i think they were Saw II and Alien vs. Preditor.... kinda gives new meaning to "sucking face".....

other than that....well, oh yeah, my valentine day story makes me sound like a jerk, but here it is anyway... i was in the market for a new motorcycle... it just so happened to be the month of February... so one day without even thinking about it, i come home with a shiny new GPZ1100 in the back of the truck. As i'm unloading the bike, SO comes out and gives me a hug and thanks me for 'her' valentines gift.... uh oh..... it was Feb 14..... however i did think to buy a card a couple o days before.....needless to say, i watched a movie that night, too.... think it was St. Valentine's Day Massacre.....

"endeavor to persevere..." Chief Dan George as Lone Waite, Indian chief

SMARTBUTDUMBBLONDE

Saturday, July 29, 2006 3:44 PM

Happy Birthday for yester day, MSG, dang, late again! That was a really sweet story bout your SO, by the way, he sounds so great! Hope you had fun camping!

Last time I went camping, was with my primary school when I was 10 in Anglesey, the best thing that happened was a dog got into one of the big, 6 sleeper tents, in which a horrible girl that everyone hated was sleeping in, and the dog pooed all over her stuff, no one else's, just hers. heh heh, heh

Belfast, eh? that means, you are only about *counts on fingers* 100 or so miles away from me! Maybe if we should light giant signal fires, and morse code each other ... if only I knew morse code....

Steamer, Traveler and Trogman, welcome to the world of the imponerables!

Come Valentines, I have a big movie fest, only movies with no romance in the, or I may end up throwing the comfort food at the TV, and I really don't want to waste it.
The only time I get depressed is when I get other people coupleness and my aloneiness waved in front of me on a giant flag.
Example: It was the end the lunch break at school, and I was waiting for this boy who is in the same form as me to come, so we could walk in together, and I accidentaly found myself alone, smack bang in the middle of four, count them, FOUR, couples, all kissing at once. That was depressing.
I have now given up chasing, since that always leads to embarasment and tears, and am now sitting back and enjoying what life throws at me (unless its a mint.I hate mints)

I have read all the others, but I can't really comment, having had no experience, and all, although thanks to you lot and this lovely thread, I am well preapred for the big scary world of relationships, once I discover it

om, Dayve, that must have been arkward, how'd you get out of it??

Gah, I am so exhausted, Me, my mum and my sister just carted 3/4 of a tonne of sand, and 140 bricks all the way up our many-teired, sloped garden. Not as bad as last week, last week was 2 tonnes of rubble!

98% of teens have smoked pot, if you are one of the 2% that haven't, copy this into your signature

MISTERG

Saturday, July 29, 2006 4:29 PM

Hey all, the wife talked me into registering.. guess who's Mister I am? :D

Anyway, back to watching pre-season premier league football (real football, not that American stuff).

SMARTBUTDUMBBLONDE

Saturday, July 29, 2006 4:37 PM

Hey MisterG! Welcome to the verse!

****************
I haven't had this much fun since the last time I ate a lightbulb
98% of teens have smoked pot, if you are one of the 2% that haven't, copy this into your signature

WHITEFALL

Saturday, July 29, 2006 4:37 PM

SBDB, you have fascinating taste in exercise. Btw, enjoy the rain coming your way, we over here tested it out. It's good.

Bah, valentines day. Nothin' and then nothin', carry the.... yeah, can't say i've ever done anything on valentines day. Rarely give em (it's damn commercialized) and rarely get em (it's so nice when i do, and of course I forget after awhile, my mind works like that.)

Cheating? Bah, i would blame the SO. Assuming other person who done the cheating was one of them sentient human beings, I'd have no trouble believe he'd be out for some company, and hopefully I'd have good enough taste in SOs for others to... nvm. But SO, forgiving would be damned awkward, cause i'm not gonnna pretend I don't understand how other people get lonely. (and lol, i've spent enough time critizing myself to know other folk could do it) But ultimately I might actually... well, maybe forgive, but damnit it'd depend on the person. I'd prefer not to have to find out.

Oops, HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY MSG!!!

And, welcome MrG, be warned, tristan has been coveting your wife

's cooking.

"But, these strong women characters?"

"Why aren't you asking 100 other guys why they don't write strong women characters?" -Joss Whedon

MSG

Saturday, July 29, 2006 4:43 PM

Hey all...yippee finally got the mister involved. What's really ironic is( if you all remember ) he's the one that showed me FFF. Anyway, felling a bit bettr, cold is backing off some and birthday was lovely. Husband got me the best teddy bear ever ( now lest you think this is some cutsie pie thing go to www.teddyscares.com and look at Rita Mortis)

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

MISTERG

Saturday, July 29, 2006 4:43 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Whitefall:

And, welcome MrG, be warned, tristan has been coveting your wife's cooking.

Hell, I covet her cooking too... I need more of it :)

"There can be only one."

SMARTBUTDUMBBLONDE

Saturday, July 29, 2006 4:52 PM

Whitefall: oh yes, we got the rain, 1/2 a tonne into the sand, so we were hot, exhausted and wet.
Ha! I couldn't call it a choice, my mum has being trying to pursueade my Dad for years now to redo the herb garden at the top of the garden, which of course he never did (he starts everything, and then kind of looses interest halfway through, accounting for the glassless greenhouse we've had for at least 10 years, and many other things), so she decided she would do it herself, and me and beth kinda got dragged along too.
Fascinating thing is: Dad convientiently disappears when the builing materials turn up, but he's perfectly happy to play with the whack-a-plate that we hired to flatten all the rubble.
Its gonna be really good, we've got a hammock for it too!

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I haven't had this much fun since the last time I ate a lightbulb
98% of teens have smoked pot, if you are one of the 2% that haven't, copy this into your signature

BSCPANTHERFAN

Saturday, July 29, 2006 4:56 PM

Happy belated B-day, MSG!

Don't worry about the number of years piling up. I will hit 40 this year, and the way I see it, as long as they are piling up, I'll be living them and not laying down.

As far as cheating goes, PR, there are a few of us out here that blame both parties, as long as they both know about the other relationship. If one person is the "other man/woman", and is being lied to by the cheater, then I blame them a bit less, and just regard them as REALLY naive. I think society tends to regard women with more scorn in this than men because men are percieved as "horn dogs" who can't help themselves and will nail anything that stays still long enough. I think that is insulting to men AND women.
Here's a question that may have been addressed already: How far into the relationship do you get before seeing someone else is "cheating"? I guess this has two variants. How far into your current relationship can you get before seeing someone else is cheating, and how far into a relationship can you go before you are cheating on your SO? Personally, I have never been able to "casually date" several people at once, so this has never come up for me, except as the person being cheated on. Ideas?

So who is he?
He's my husband.
Well who in the damn galaxy ain't!

MSG

Saturday, July 29, 2006 5:00 PM

I think the minute it goes beyond verbal flirting you have crossed the line. I think flirting in what you say is just banter and not meaningful ,but anything beyond that is actual cheating

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

SPACEANJL

Saturday, July 29, 2006 5:16 PM

Belated Happy Birthday, MsG (hunts for recipe for virtual birthday cake...)

ed; I just found the TeddyScares. They let you work with kids? Good.

PENGUIN

Saturday, July 29, 2006 5:48 PM

How lovely! lol

BSCPANTHERFAN

Saturday, July 29, 2006 6:15 PM

I'm guessing that this place isn't going to open a shop in the mall next to Build-a-Bear.

On an entirely different note, my mailman just delivered my copy of "Done the Impossible".

Now I won't get any yard work done today. Aww, too bad.

I just noticed your joke from further up, MSG, so here's one I heard on Dave Ramsey the other day:

WHY WE BROKE UP

She told me we didn't have money for non-essential items, so she made me quit buying beer.

Then I caught her spending $75 on makeup. When I asked her about it, she said, "I buy this to look good for you."

I told her that was what the beer was for.

She hasn't been back since.

So who is he?
He's my husband.
Well who in the damn galaxy ain't!

MSG

Saturday, July 29, 2006 6:40 PM

LOL-good one BSC:)

Penguin thanks I can always count on you to find away to make my thoughts visible:) HUGS

SpaceAnJL- yeah It's a great bear. I really want to take it to school with me:)

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

WHITEFALL

Saturday, July 29, 2006 6:59 PM

MSG, lol, you should! As long as the administration doesnt mind, keep it on your desk as paraphenalia, it shows off your personality to your students! Which I think is a good thing, actually.

"But, these strong women characters?"

"Why aren't you asking 100 other guys why they don't write strong women characters?" -Joss Whedon

TRISTAN

Saturday, July 29, 2006 7:06 PM

Afternoon, all!
So, TRS is back...wow. Missed the little bugger.

PR, on the subject of cheating...it's difficult sometimes to pin guilt on either party. I do not know for sure why women cheat, but men cheat for various reasons: boredom, lust, anger, to name a few. In a relationship, there is a certain amount of give-and-take with the physical aspect that cannot be ignored. If I am with an SO, and we have a healthy sex life, I am not going to "stray". I expect the same from my partner. If, on the other hand, there is little sex, or it is not fulfilling, and talking doesn't do any good...yes, my eye will wander. It would have to get very bad before I would cheat, but it could happen. And if I caught my SO with someone? I would blame them both and have nothing further to do with either one. I do not think I could remain with someone who cheated on me.

Traveler, welcome aboard!

MisterG! Welcome to the forum! Yes, I covet your wife's cooking...the descriptions of the meals just made my mouth water. The cooking aside, you are a lucky man to have someone like MSG!

BSC! Good to see you again.
I think cheating becomes a real word when you have feelings for the other person. If it's a few dates, and only one of you feels things are going well...that doesn't really constitute an SO-type relationship. On the other hand; a marriage is a whole different ball of wax. Any cheating in a marriage (unless agreed to by both parties...then it's not really cheating, is it?) constitutes cheating. Wow, how many times can I get the word "cheating" into a paragraph?

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MISTERG

Saturday, July 29, 2006 9:27 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Tristan:

MisterG! Welcome to the forum! Yes, I covet your wife's cooking...the descriptions of the meals just made my mouth water. The cooking aside, you are a lucky man to have someone like MSG!

hehe you said it :) Someone who puts up with me *AND* cooks as well as she can.. I got lucky :D

"There can be only one."

PHOENIXROSE

Sunday, July 30, 2006 3:17 AM

Morning everyone! Greetings Mr G! Glad you had a good birthday, Ms G!
BSC, I am like you in the not casually dating thing. As long as I'm dating someone, I won't be dating someone else. If I badly want to date someone else and/or feel it isn't working out, I'll just say so. That is pretty easy early on, when you've only had a few dates. I (possibly unfairly) hold others to my standard. There's also the definition of cheating; I think that a kiss can be cheating, some people think it's not cheating til there's some form of sex. But even if it's not yet a "commited" relationsip, it just feels a little... dirty to be dating several people at once.
It's funny because I've heard that a lot of relationships reach the point of "We should be exclusive" and you have a talk along those lines. But for me, I kind of assume it's pretty exclusive unless I hear otherwise. I think if you are going to date more than one person at once, you should let them know about it. Just in case, you know, you don't pick them, it won't come as a profound shock when they find out you were seeing someone else.
Tristan, as always, makes a good point. If there is a healthy sex life, there should be no reason to stray. Hopefully that means I will never be cheated on. However, there are those who do it just... because
Sorry, while I'm pretty sure I've never been cheated on, many people in my life have. Stupid cheaters.

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TRISTAN

Sunday, July 30, 2006 6:51 AM

Morning, all! Well, I should say "evening" as I have not yet been to bed and it's waaaay past my normal bedtime. Caffeine is a blessing and a curse...

PR, thank you for the support! It's good to hear from the fairer sex that a healthy sex life is important in a relationship.
I should be up for a little while longer, and I'd like to delve into the cheating thing a bit further.
You say sometimes a kiss can be cheating. In what way is it that for you? I am a firm believer in a somewhat "open" relationship...I am pretty sure I talked about this on an earlier thread, but I'll run through it again for the newer people...I have a feeling this is going to be a long post; I apologize beforehand.
I believe a committed relationship means both parties love one another totally. I feel that love is not from the heart so much as from the whole being. Being in love for me is having the same feelings for someone no matter what the situation. Love is the overriding emotion; if I am sad, I love my SO, if I am pissed off, I love my SO...always first and foremost. Does that make sense? Betrayal to me, or cheating, is my SO felling that kind of love for someone else. I understand about loving friends and family, but to me that is a different kind of love. I could possibly stand my SO having sex with someone as long as it was just physical, but that is not something that is likely to happen. According to most of the females on this board, sex is not possible without some feelings of love. Please correct me if I am wrong. If my SO had physical relations with someone she was in love with other than me, that would be betrayal.
How this relates to an "open" relationship may be a bit harder to define or understand. I do not mind my SO flirting or having close friends of the opposite sex. I do not mind my SO going out with them; bars, concerts, and the like...things I normally do not enjoy. I am much more comfortable and happy staying home; if my SO is more social, I do not want to stop them from enjoying themselves. I do not normally get jealous at others showing attention to my SO...as long as they realize she is in a relationship.
I hope all of that makes sense. If anyone needs clarification, please let me know.

Alright, now we are back to the kiss question...you can see how and when a kiss would be cheating in my eyes...is yours similar to this?

Oy...sorry again about the length. Apparently, I become chatty when hyper-caffeinated.

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PHOENIXROSE

Sunday, July 30, 2006 7:09 AM

Tristan, what are you still doin' up darlin? Nice to see you, as always.
I adore your description of what being in love is. I totally agree. So the thing is, I tend to do this thing, that all people do, of sort of holding people to my standards. Maybe that isn't the best way of putting it. It's more that I kind of assume that other people have the same motivation for their actions that I have. So, if I kiss someone, it is usually because I am falling for them. Maybe not that I feel the kind of real love you described, but I am getting there. And I'm not talking about like a little peck, I'm talking about a kiss. The more physical contact there is, the more I have to feel for them. It's really not that enjoyable otherwise. I've played spin the bottle with friends, and it really wasn't all that fun to kiss them. Some of them were really good kissers, but it didn't really "do" anything for me. I can't even imagine how awkward it would be to go beyond that.
(Ramblerambleramble) So anyway that's why I feel a kiss can be cheating, because for me it would be a prelude to something else. Not that it always gets there, but it could and I know that. There's also a certain type of flirting that is a prelude, and a certain kind that is not. If it's ongoing flirting that is more than just "hey yeah, you're kinda cute but that's all I'm really seeing" I would start to get nervous. Did, in fact, start to get nervous when I was with Ex of Doom and he had a massive ongoing flirtation with this girl. Even after she moved out-of-state it kept going, and he would have a certain look when he talked to her and about her. He had flirted with many women before that and it didn't bother me nearly as much as this did. (And I'm sure it had nothing to do with him breaking up with me. Nope, nothing at all ) What was I saying? Oh yeah, there is innocent flirting and serious flirting. Innocent I don't have a problem with, really, serious I kinda do.
Am i doing my bitter make-no-sense rambling babble or am I making sense? I hope I'm making sense.
I guess it's just best to be clear about how you actually feel. If you are really good friends with someone and want to peck thm on the cheek (or even the lips, I guess) that's one thing. If you want to tell someone they look good or whatever not-so-serious flirting, that is also one thing. Anything beyond that is a totally other thing. If you're doing it because you're serious about them, that's bad. If you do it because you can "just be physical" and the rest doesn't matter... That's worse. For me, that's worse because it would make me really wonder if I was "just physical" which is the last thing I want to be. Especially as I am continually wondering if the man I loved more than anything and who took my virginity actually saw me as anything but a cure for his lonliness. When we were together, I was sure he did because there were many women who would flirt with him heavily and he chose me, but after some of the things he said, I wonder what was actually going on.
Bleh.

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TRISTAN

Sunday, July 30, 2006 7:28 AM

Yes, I know...I'll be heading to bed soon. Just winding Down. Glad to find you still up!

Yeah, I guess I should have better-defined "kiss". Pecks are all good, but you are right; the kind of kiss that could lead somewhere else are the bad ones. We also share the same views on flirting. I also feel safer flirting with someone I may never meet, as it often happens online; even sometimes on this board. But as long as all parties know it is in fun, it is alright. Yes, you are making sense. :smiles:
I am sorry your Ex of Doom turned out to be such an ...it appears he did not know what he was going to lose. We sometimes do not know what is best for us, and unfortunately, people get hurt.
:hugs:

Thank you for humoring me this late (early) in the day.

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PHOENIXROSE

Sunday, July 30, 2006 7:42 AM

*sniffle* Yeah, I'm sorry he turned out to be a too.
I just gotta keep my standards up meeting someone new. Just because I like them doesn't mean they really have what it takes to be right for me. Must remember that Sometimes I get crushes way too easily.
Flirting online can certainly be good. It's safe, it's fun.
There's at least one member of this board I reeeeeaaaaally wish was in my state, though. The flirting only online thing gets frustrating sometimes. *Sigh* Oh well.
Trying to keep positive. Really, I am trying. Bad night. Wish it was light enough out to see the bunnies; they always cheer me up with their cuteness.

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PHOENIXROSE

Sunday, July 30, 2006 10:14 AM

Bumpses so this one is above the other one.

SPACEANJL

Sunday, July 30, 2006 10:26 AM

Looks like there are very few Imponderables out this time of night...

Here's one for later - kitchen usage. How many gadgets/pans does your SO etc use in the kitchen compared to you? Is is always the right tool for the right job, and if not, go and buy the right one, or just use what's handy? We won't go to the BBQ place...

COPILOT

Sunday, July 30, 2006 12:53 PM

Sorry for what I typed earlier! Yikes! Sleep is good fo the 'ol noggin!

An I carried such a torch

WHITEFALL

Sunday, July 30, 2006 1:50 PM

GMT afternoon, all!

On the subject of standards. Being pre-relationship that I am, this does sorta make me think, because.. well I have something of an inferiority complex at times, I'd hate to be looking over my shoulder all the time about the cheating issue. And I do hope I can find folk with similar standards, I very much agree about the above descriptions of commitment, how important it is to love first and foremost.

As for the cheating, the idea of 'only physical' seems rather odd, because while it may be just physical, being in a relationship involves an ammount of trust that you wouldnt go and sleep with someone else, so much so that this is generally and unspoken arrangement. Even if the 3rd party was at fault, it's simply a betrayal to break your word on the subject.

"But, these strong women characters?"

"Why aren't you asking 100 other guys why they don't write strong women characters?" -Joss Whedon

GED

Sunday, July 30, 2006 2:09 PM

Hi everyone! Long time no see, I've been somewhat busy this week!

As for Valentine's day, I rarely have a girlfriend during this time, so I don't really recall. When I was right out of high school though, I bought this huge basket of roses for my g/f at the time. Her dad didn't get her step mom anything and when he saw the big ol' basket of roses I got her, he had to get something bigger for his wife. It was kind of funny.

As for the cheating and who to blame, you blame that who was cheating on you. You tell them to GTFO and never come back. If someone's cheating on you, they clearly don't respect you or care about you.

And did I miss some birthdays? MSG? Happy birthday to those who had birthdays! *hugs* to you all!

__________________________________________________
This above all, — to thine ownself be true.
http://www.myspace.com/artv

WHITEFALL

Sunday, July 30, 2006 5:29 PM

Urgh, good GMT evening all...

Went n saw some gardens, got stung by a wasp (it kinda hurts) and it rained. A lot. Good times.

Yeah, Valentine's day is weird.

"But, these strong women characters?"

"Why aren't you asking 100 other guys why they don't write strong women characters?" -Joss Whedon

GRRRARG

Sunday, July 30, 2006 5:50 PM

Well, cheating, as TV defines it, is a physical thing. Its about the act itself, not the intent, hence they go to the default setting women = evil. Really, its about honor - if you say to someone you're intimate with "I will not have sex with anyone else" and you do, you lied. I cant see how its anyone elses fault "oh, but you pushed me to it" or "I was drunk" or whatever - ultimatly it comes down to your word, and what thats worth.

ODDSBODSKINS

Sunday, July 30, 2006 10:29 PM

i blame the male, because it makes me look like i look down on and despise that kinda thing and must be above it

no wait! i blame the female! because it makes me look like i wouldn't have any truck with the kind of woman who'd tempt me to do that kinda thing!

no, erm, levity aside. As regards who's to blame, i think that kinda thing is entirely circumstantial, but broadly i'd say both. (having been someones bit on the side, not a time in my past i'd care to revisit or something i'm terribly proud of, i can say there's a fair bit of blame there, as much as anywhere else). as regards intimacy issue's, well, that's a tough call, but, i think i'd have to go along with the school of thought that it's the intent that makes the differance, well, intent and emotion and, yeah. And i agree that it's really rather difficult to have the one without the other, the physical, in most cases, is likely to mean something. flirting i think is something i'm a little uneasy with (i don't do it very well, not good at anything much bar taking the piss out of people, but hey, anyone else out there who flirts in a bitter sarcastic manner, with many a quip and aside, look me up ) but at the end of the day, i don't think i would consider flirting to be cheating.

and yes, that was confused and convoluted, not in the clearest frame of mind at present, but it made sense in my head...even if i only managed to get about half of it in a vaguely workable world-like form.

as far as cooking implements go, i'm definately more of the 'make do' school, i'm proud of my cooking, but i'm the first to admit it's really quite simple. inventive (ie, good at hiding the taste of day off meat, hey it's why all the famous sauces were invented! ) but simple. i do keep meaning to get myself a good set of knives and a nice chopping board, but rent tends to come first and foremost.

Quick imponderable(ish) have any of you shared flats with really unreliable flatmates? and on the whole, did they tend to be male or female?

SERYN

Sunday, July 30, 2006 11:18 PM

male and female - crappy housemates are crappy house mates for reasons other than gender. Or at leat they were in my opinion.

It rained? welcome to the UK darlin! Valentines day i just tend to ignore, some how managed to be single every february. meh.

I have no gadgets. What a tin opener a grater or a bread knife wont do isn't worth doing. but then you already know all about my culinary standards.

Oh Copilot dear, drink less fer heavens sakes! And give him an honest answer, soon as you work out what it is.

New imponderable - red hair. Ginger men are regularly made fun of and small ginger children are regularly beaten to within an inch or their lives, just cause o the red hair, even though folks like Alan Tudyk have proved that red can be cute and sexy and Josh Homme that it can be tough (and sexy) yet it still goes on.

But amongst women, red shades have are and probably always will be the most popular hair dyes sold in the west, not to mention henna etc, with has traditions going back centuries.

why?

JAMESTHEDARK

Sunday, July 30, 2006 11:41 PM

Simple answer:

Redheads are cute.

Really. As one who is entranced by the awe-inspiring cuteness of natural (NATURAL!!) s, I claim that there is no finer color, especially when one considers the peripheral properties. s almost always have smooth, pale skin (yay!), are usually petite, (yay!), are oftentimes bluff and open with their emotions (yay! Sometimes), and make up 2% of the human population (DAMNIT!). Although, there is something to be said about being able to beat the 1 in 50 odds of landing oneself a natural red...

And freckles. Can't get enough of the freckles.

Is it getting hot in here? I need airflow...

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I ain't lookin' for help from on high. That's a damn long wait for a train don't come.

ODDSBODSKINS

Monday, July 31, 2006 1:02 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by seryn:
male and female - crappy housemates are crappy house mates for reasons other than gender. Or at leat they were in my opinion.

that i've no doubt is true, just occured to me that all the flatmate's i've failed to get on with were female, and wondered if there was such a huge differance in the approach to sharing a flat (probably skewed slightly by only having shared a flat with one bloke anyway)

as far as redheads go, can't help but agree with jamesthedark, in terms of the female thing, but i'll not go into any more detail or i'll wind up all flustered

as far as the male thing goes, i've seena bit of a slagging, but not much more then i saw other people get for similar things, and far less then i ever got for being half-english in small-town scotland

but then i guess we all know what see you jimmy hats do for our economy. can't really offer much explanation, other then being differant, and, perhaps outnumbered. why that would make for such a desirable trait in women and such a deplorable trait in men i do not know, differance in perception? can't offer much insight myself, probably all number of sociological studies out there though.

edit true instead of skewed...was tired

PHOENIXROSE

Monday, July 31, 2006 2:42 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by JamesTheDark:
almost always have smooth, pale skin (yay!), are usually petite, (yay!), are oftentimes bluff and open with their emotions (yay! Sometimes).

You just described me, 'cept I don't have red hair.
Alan Tudyk is a redhead? Since when?
I used to love red hair. I still like it. My first boyfriend had beautiful red hair... and NO OTHER REDEEMING QUALITIES. Not to say no other redhead would have redeeming qualities, but I don't much want to be reminded of that... person.
Red hair does carry a stereotype, though. My mom used red henna for awhile and was percieved to be much more quick-tempered than she actually is. I've thought about dying my hair just so I would have an excuse

But I look awful with red hair. Strange, with my Irish background.

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CALIFORNIAKAYLEE

Monday, July 31, 2006 5:36 AM

Hey all, just checkin in for a quick moment, haven't had much of a chance to read through the thread, but I'll jump in on this last topic.

Quote:
Quote:
almost always have smooth, pale skin (yay!), are usually petite, (yay!), are oftentimes bluff and open with their emotions (yay! Sometimes)

You just described me, 'cept I don't have red hair.

That pretty much describes me as well, but I am also not a natural redhead. One of my great grandmothers was a natural redhead, and I inherited the rest of her coloring -- green eyes, pale skin, freckles -- but not the red hair. My hair is naturally a really really light dishwater blonde, but if I'm outside enough it'll start getting more gold, and will eventually get to a strawberry blonde color, if I spend time outside every day for months. I dyed my hair red for over seven years, everything from bright ruby to strawberry blonde, and except with the ruby and garnet colors, everyone seemed to think it was natural.

As for the temper, all the women in my family who descended from that great grandmother seem to have inherited her temper, so I didn't really get the temper thing any more or less when I dyed my hair.

Almost three years ago I dyed my hair back to blonde (which was the first time hubby had seen me without red hair!), and about a year ago I chopped off about ten inches, and stopped dying my hair. I've cut at least another four inches off since then, and with this last hair cut got the last of the dye out. So back to being dishwater blonde, but I've been spending enough time outside that it's actually a fairly nice color right now.

I've had a thing for redheaded guys in the past, and was crushing on one right before I met hubby. He (the redheaded guy) was pretty vocal that natural redheads should hook up, to keep the hair color in the population.

~CK

You can't take the sky from me...

PHOENIXROSE

Monday, July 31, 2006 5:43 AM

I have brown/sandy/dark blond hair. It gets really pretty and gold if I'm in the sun enough (that hasn't happened lately...) And sometimes I get red highlights, but nothing beyond that.
I thought about just dying it gold, but I don't want to ahve to keep up with it. I don't like to fuss too much with my hair

So hey, here's a piece of news; I have been contacted on the dating site that has so far been rather lame. Guy actually read my entire profile and talks about photoshop and stuff. Not even sure his interest goes beyond that. Kinda odd, kinda shiny.

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BSCPANTHERFAN

Monday, July 31, 2006 7:25 AM

As far as hair color, I have always found red hair to be attractive, but if the person under the hair is a walking butt, then they could look like any of our BDHs and I wouldn't feel attracted to them. I suppose I can't be too picky since my hair started out jet black, and from the age of 15 began looking more and more like Book's. I expect by the time I hit (garbled speech here) years old, I might have a full head of silver. My beard and mustache still grow in black, when I grow them.

edit: and as far as actually dyeing my hair, I have done it before, but the last time I did it was for "Madame Butterfly", and it came out green instead of black for some insane reason.
So who is he?
He's my husband.
Well who in the damn galaxy ain't!

SERYN

Monday, July 31, 2006 7:29 AM

no, go with it! He actually read your profile - thats a plus point, so chat to him about photoshop and see where it goes.

I've stopped even replying to the guys who don't bother reading my myspaces page. Or the ones that do but send one line messages like hi, wanna chat?
I just feel like writing back - 'about what? you plainly have no imagination'.
Apart from the fff.net people, and my rallife friends, theres only two people (both guys funnily enough) who i still talk to - one about music (i got him addicted to Tori Amos, he introduced me to fusion jazz and White Rose Movement) and another who sends me huge long letters about his work (he's a tv editor/director etc) and general life stuff, written brilliantly, so i send him back letters about different things and all the strange folk who come into the museum (also writtian brilliantly - he accused me of being a writer, I had to rise to the challenge!). Its great I think is what i'm getting at - one interest in common (music with the first, finding a largish hill and going to see whats at the top with the other) means i now have two incredibly intelligent, sweet funny and literate penpals.

now if only i lived in London...

I to, naturally have light brown hair that goes silverblond in the sun, but i've been dying it red since i was fourteen. I also have the pale freckled skin (well, at the moment its gone kinda cramy, but my legs are still irish white (i.e blue) and the temper. Being from a family from the north of england,(and a very typical taurean) and often from liverpool, the irish connection is well ingrained. my cousin david has the brightest red hair you could imagine, and he gets chronically bullied at school, and when the kids in my highschool wern't beating me up, they were chasing after a friends brother, even though they left my friend (also a red head) largely alone.

Alan looks blond in firefly, but in lots of his other movies he's red, and it looks natural (dodgeball) in Knights Tale its fake.I think he's a natural strawberry blond to pale red, but it suits him and he damn cute.

and my complaints against my housemates were mostly the same - not paying bills, not buying electricity and leaving me to buy it all, or leaving me in the dark, leaving their crap all over the comunal areas, not doing chores, eating my food, deliberetly going adfter the guy i was interested in (boy housemate) and sleeping with my boyfriend (girlhousemate)

thats the one time i have blamed the girl, because she was a complete slut basically, she had a fiancee, and yet she'd be stringing along any other guy she could, especially if it meant getting one over on another girl.

the rest of the time i'd blame the straying partner, or both, if theyre both betraying someone they supposedly love. what else was there? I can't keep up!

SERYN

Monday, July 31, 2006 7:40 AM

oh, i had a female friend who started grying at 16. she hated it but recently she just stopped dying it, she's now got a sliver streak over one eye.

Its a terribly cruel twist of genetics that means men go grey or bald ontop, but continue to be able to grown thick bushy coloured hair on their chins (legs chests and in some cases, eyebrows and nostrils)
Except one guy i knew, who when he grew a beard, had a reddisn goatee and patches of blond, brown and grey over his cheeks. Needless to say, he didn't grow his much either.

Which make me ask, where do you lot stand on body hair in general? girls do you like beards and hairy bodies? guys, its stray hairy legs and armpits a terrible thing?;)

PHOENIXROSE

Monday, July 31, 2006 7:40 AM

OMG he also likes sushi! (just got another message from him; I asked him what else he did for fun) Dude, he likes sushi!
He's an occasional smoker/drinker, though. I guess that's not as bad as it could be, but it's putting me off a little.
But he likes sushi!
I know, I seem overly excited about that, but see Ex of Doom was such a fussy eater that I never got to go anywhere exciting with him; it was basically always burgers and fries at Perkins or similar.
Sushi!

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PHOENIXROSE

Monday, July 31, 2006 7:45 AM

I have mixed feelings on beards. Sometimes they look realy good, sometimes they look terrible, and I have gotten at least one friction burn on my cheeks from kissing Ex of Doom while he was in the process of growing a beard. He looked better with a little goatee, but looked fine without, too. He had very fast-growing facial hair.
Body hair... *twitch* Well, too much is too much. If I could afford to have most of my body hair fried off permanently I would do so. It's good to keep it under control; I would probably not go for an overly hairy guy.

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BSCPANTHERFAN

Monday, July 31, 2006 1:17 PM

As far as the body hair issue goes, I really don't care too much, as long as it is kept neat. If the person (man or woman) looks like they are one step removed from Bigfoot, it makes me want to buy them a pair of clippers. I can grow a beard fairly easily, but the rest of me has always been very sparse with the hair. Except my head. I may be getting gray fast, but none of it is going anywhere.

You mentioned eyebrows and nose hair, but don't forget the ears! I have seen folk with more hair there than on their head. Makes you wonder if they are hard of hearing from age or just from lack of airflow.

So who is he?
He's my husband.
Well who in the damn galaxy ain't!

BSCPANTHERFAN

Monday, July 31, 2006 1:24 PM

In general, I am not very picky about my beard. When I get tired of trimming it, I will shave it off, and when I get tired of shaving it, I will let it grow, unless the person I'm with has a preference or I need it a certain way for whatever opera I am in at the moment. I have found that opinions are about evenly split on what others think of it.

Now if my girlfriend had a beard...

So who is he?
He's my husband.
Well who in the damn galaxy ain't!

TRISTAN

Monday, July 31, 2006 1:30 PM

Morning, Imponderable-ers!
One major project was completed this weekend...I finished my Mal boots!

Back to the Imponderables:
SpaceAnJL, depending on the complexity of the dinner, the wife and I can go through about 1/4 of our pots, pans, and dishes in the creation of a meal. Generally, though, I do most of the "complex" cooking. Between us, we have almost everything a kitchen needs (including a propane torch!), but there are times when we have to make do with something else. Always fun times in the kitchen!

Welcome back, GED!

And welcome, GrrrArg. Welcome to the board. We hope you hang around!

OddsBodkins, you made sense.
My last experience with roommates was the last time I was in college (2003ish). I was living in an apartment with my wife-to-be and her former roommate. This would be every guy's dream, right? Two early 20's females and me living under one roof. Oh, the jokes and innuendo that revolved around that...but, no. I would never again want to live with two females. I love both of them (I married one of them ), but trying to live with them...oy! They were both reliable as far as rent, utilities, etc., but when it came to cleaning...the one who is not my wife liked to let things pile up (like dishes). I can stand a few, but she would wait until we got through all of them before washing. Oh, and the bathroom?!? If I wanted to use the bathroom or take a shower, I had to wait until after midnight when I knew I'd be able to get in there...
Ok, sorry, I'm done.

Seryn, red heads...hmm. Back to my wife, she generally dyes her hair various shades of red (always a single color at a time, though), and it looks really good on her. I think the attraction comes in because red hair is still somewhat of a minority hair color in the world. Men are often attracted to the rare. A redhead will still catch my attention, even in a very crowded room.
I have dated a few natural redheads, and they were always the center of attention...although my bottle-red wife is also always the center of attention...hmm. Must be the atitude.

BSC, your hair color looks good on you. And thanks for the laugh with the green hair. I remember us talking about that!

Beards: I can't grow a full one, but I can get a decent moustache and goatee going. Before you think "goatee? Eww", it is one thing that looks good on me. Ever since I figured out I could not grow a full beard (something about ancestoral blood), I had to be happy with what I could grow. My facial hair grows slowly; I can shave off my goatee and moustache, and it'll be a few days before it begins to show again, and another two weeks or so before it starts looking like it was.

Ok, long post...and it's a Monday...time for coffee.

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BSCPANTHERFAN

Monday, July 31, 2006 1:46 PM

Wow, if I could wait that long between shaves it would be GREAT! Oh, well..

Tristan, remind me before we get together again to bring my Aida pictures, and you will see me bald. They wanted us to wear bald wigs, and singing under stage lights for 2 1\2 hours with a bald cap on is not a pleasant experience, so I shaved my head to avoid having to wear one. It's probably the only time I will ever do that, since it was too much work to maintain.

Mmmm- coffee. Time to get ready for work. That's where my coffee is!

By the way, I take it you're feeling better? I never heard and was curious.
So who is he?
He's my husband.
Well who in the damn galaxy ain't!

TRISTAN

Monday, July 31, 2006 1:50 PM

BSC, will do. Although seeing you with green hair might be funnier...
Thanks. I was ill for a day last week...bad stomach virus-thingy. I'm all better now.

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SPACEANJL

Monday, July 31, 2006 2:07 PM

Ooh, the little torch for brulee. Weeee!

My poor mother had to cope with me and my father, in an advanced state of intoxication, playing with creme brulee and my blowtorch in her kitchen. We nearly set the blinds on fire, but everything was so damn funny by then, we didn't care.

I actually shared a house with a girl who would use everyone's kitchen stuff, and not wash it up. And this was just for porridge!

Husband is a bit of a gadget man. Has to be exactly the right tool for the job. But we both enjoy cooking, so we use all our gadgets. Even the pasta-maker - it's like playdoh fun.

Other points - on the red thing. I'm kinda dark brown, but the red comes through if I get a lot of sun. That's also due to Scots/Irish background - the green eyes and the temper are more noticable. I've never quite had the nerve to go really red. Except one Hallowe'en. Evil Willow outfit.

ODDSBODSKINS

Monday, July 31, 2006 2:18 PM

haha, well s'good to see you found someone special that way tristan xD mostly i share with women, like i mentioned earlier, and for the most part i don't have too many problems, excepting one person right now, s'all the stuff that's been mentioned before, bills, rent, generally unpredictable, hugely unreliable ( had to clean her room at two hours notice when the landlord was coming round, even i don't live in that much of a mess!) and constantly trying to dump her wein on us for childminding...but yeah, only other flatmate i've not gotten on with was anal-retentive about cleaning, and everything else truth be told...used to keep a blackboard in the kitchen and tried to make us write down everything we bought 'for the flat' so we could work it out and divide it up and find out who owed who for half a dozen loo rolls...needless to say it got abanadoned after i refused to write in anything i bought (i love that smilie) but yeah, i'm sure there're plenty of bad male flatmaes around, may be one myself for all i know, tend to adopt a very, ehm, relaxed attitude to most everything lifewise.

and an aside, just looking over my earlier post, and sorry seryn, didn't mean to accuse what you said of being skewed, meant to write true, but was a bit tired and a bit all over the place, and musta been thinking a sentance ahead (bad habit )

as far as facial hair goes, i'm naturally kinda scrubby chinned, ather then actually definitively stubbly, but tend to deliberately leave a while between shaves to hide a scar on my chin (it's teeny tiny, and barely noticable at all, and i'm sure it's just me being paranoid, but, can't help it) it tends to come in slightly darker then the hair on my head, but not very. as for the fairer sex, i've got to admit i prefer it if they're a wee bit smoother, but, in my defense, have always taken the position that if that's what a girl wants, i'd definately undertake to shave my toes from time to time! so no-one can say i'm not even minded

as for the guy, he seems to be interested in you as a person phoenixrose, i'd say give him a chance and see whether he carries on sounding like he might be up your street ^^

MSG

Monday, July 31, 2006 2:19 PM

Morning all hope you had a great weekend. On a happy note , my wretched cold is nearly gone!
Hmm let see

Kitchen gagets/pans- normal dinner about 3 pans and afew implements. Fancy dinner 6-7 pans and tons of implements. If my SO cooks ( which he does once or twice a year) it's every single pot and pan:)

Redheads- spent oh all my life trying to be a red head ( since almost all of my cousins are, it's that irish blood as my grandmother is an irish immigrant)finally gave up as it's really expensive and hard on my hair. I have all the rest of the irish ( pale skin, greenish eyes, smattering of freckles)

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

TRISTAN

Monday, July 31, 2006 2:50 PM

Morning, MSG!
Glad to see your husband popped in over the weekend.

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MSG

Monday, July 31, 2006 3:12 PM

The result of much whinging and such( just kidding) the irony of that is he's the one who showed me FFF
So glad he's here though:)

ok had to share that as it creeps me out and now I'm not sure I ever want to eat a sandwich ever again

So here's an imponderable should you tell your SO or others if you have an erotic dream about someone real in your life?

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

TRISTAN

Monday, July 31, 2006 3:18 PM

AHH!! Talking bread!

My wife is the same way...she's the one that got me into Firefly, and I have out-fanned her. She signed up here awhile back, but hasn't returned since the troubles the site had.

Do I tell my SO about erotic dreams I had of others? When I do have erotic dreams that I can remember, they are usually either about her or a celebrity, so I do tell her. I have not yet had one about someone we both know, but I would probably tell her about those, too.

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MSG

Monday, July 31, 2006 3:23 PM

I was just listening to Ray Romano's comedy concert asn he was talking about his wife yelled at him because she saw a woman that she thought he would like had he been there...and I thought that was one nasty jealous woman...and then I wondered. I mean I think we all have those lovely celeb dreams, but what if you had one about like a close friend or something...would that give rise to more jealousy? Probably depends on the spouse:) I'd tell mine and he'd likely laugh his head off, but I don't know if others would

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

TRISTAN

Monday, July 31, 2006 3:33 PM

If there are doubts in your mind as to your SO's feelings towards the person in question, yes, jealousy is a strong possibility. (By "your", I am not specifically addressing you, MSG, it is a general "you") There are one or two of my wife's friends that give me slight feelings of discomfort. This is in the back of my mind, the primitive caveman part..."girl mine, you find another" part. The upper portions of my brain know she loves me, and married me because of that, and will not stray. That primitive part will not be totally silenced, though, so I always have that little twinge around them. We have talked about this, and both know what's going on. Weird?

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MSG

Monday, July 31, 2006 3:57 PM

Naw I figure you know what you're doing:)

Oh seriously happy teacher moment. I have a computer program ( it uses wav files to signal and I look around the room and if kids are good I put a yes slip in the jar and if kids aren't I put a no in the jar. At the end of class I shake and draw and if they get a yes they get 5 min free time or some such and if it's a no they get nothing) anyway I just found a whole collection of firefly wav files...yippee:) I think I'm going to start the year with " did he just go crazy and then fall asleep?"

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

NVGHOSTRIDER

Monday, July 31, 2006 4:09 PM

Mornin' all

Pretty good weekend. Saw Clerks 2, F'ing hilarious.

MsG- Failed. Sorta. Aside from the movie, I was with the kids all weekend.
Problem: The girl next door is getting to me. She won't stop flirting with me. Very cute, outdoorsy, tough, likes my family. So heres the problem. She's only 18. I've known her since she was little. This ain't right. The wrong part is that it doesn't bother me as much as it should. Going for her would be a small step up from dating one of my former clients.
I may be going to the special hell.

"...And them chains them chains
Their 'bout to drag me down"

MSG

Monday, July 31, 2006 4:14 PM

OK that's not failing you're just late turning in assignment...ok 18 is young, but you know I'm not saying lifelong partners or anything...just a date...So why not take her on a date, friendly like and then she can get to know you in that setting and you can both assess whether that would be a good idea or if you should just stay neighbor/friends... it can be like a practice date since you know nothing's going to happen and you aren't even going to use your moves...just practice small talk and being social and eat something nice etc...

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

MSG

Monday, July 31, 2006 4:21 PM

Also this comes under same heading as dating lifelong friends sister...why woldn't your neighbors want their daughter to go out with a guy they know is nice,kind, would take care of their daughter, and would treat her well??? Yes you're older, but that might be a whole lot better than her getting involved with some guy her age who treats her like crap!!

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

PHOENIXROSE

Monday, July 31, 2006 4:22 PM

Boo, I thought I was getting something done, but I didn't. I hate that.
Hmmmm, I might tell a SO about an erotic dream if I had one, but the fact is that I don't tend to have sex dreams about people I haven't had sex with. And I wouldn't want to make a deal out of something that wasn't a deal.
Tristan, I have that caveman part of the brain, too. It can usually be controlled, but it's come out at bad times, too. (So I'm a woman with a caveman part to her brain; what kind of sense does that make?)
Yea, hehe, I'm gonna see if this guy eventually asks me to sushi. That would be the greatest first date ever! Probably. Let's say it would take a lot to ruin it.
I should go to bed soon, but I probably won't...

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MSG

Monday, July 31, 2006 4:29 PM

oooh PR date anticipation is the best...kinda zingy and like Christmas morning before you open presents:)

Ok I have to bail for an hour ( tutoring calls) but I shall return in about an hour and a half. I leave you with this:

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

BSCPANTHERFAN

Monday, July 31, 2006 4:42 PM

Is that Forsaken Bread? Send it over to our threads and let us make sandwiches out of it!

As far as the 18 year old, just watch out for the "Goodnight Kiss" and you should be OK. I have found that dating someone that is that young usually means that they haven't formed all of their adult personality yet, and sometimes the changes that they go through make them very different in just a short time. But it could be fun. Go for it!

So who is he?
He's my husband.
Well who in the damn galaxy ain't!

NVGHOSTRIDER

Monday, July 31, 2006 4:49 PM

PR- Can't stand the date anticipation. Really helps to have it way beforehand, thata way its all done by zero hour.

MsG- Getting caught up here. MisterG dropped in this weekend. He's a soccar nut huh? My little brother (better looking with better job, Air Force ATC) just goes nuts on the game. Tried to hang with him, but I just fall asleep. He gets all fired up, but doesn't cuss (He's LDS).
Side tracking, I'm bad at it.
So yeah, I see your point, just stubborn. She's cool and all, but... Okay, no more excuses. I'll see what I can do. Posative note: If anything else, maybe I found someone to shoot with. May be one of the few things we have in common.

"...And them chains them chains
Their 'bout to drag me down"

TRISTAN

Monday, July 31, 2006 4:49 PM

NVG, the special hell isn't all that bad. I will be going there eventually, so you and I can keep each other company.
MSG's advice sounds quite good.

PR, again, good to hear it's not just males that have a caveman lurking in their brains.

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NVGHOSTRIDER

Monday, July 31, 2006 4:57 PM

One of my many arguements on the whole thing. I have no clue if I can even relate to her. But again with the excuses. I am tired of them.

Tristan: At least I'll be in good company.
Did I read that you finshed you Mal boots, Right on!

Just feel a bit wrong about chasing this one.
But with a lack of options, wadda ya gonna do?

"...And them chains them chains
Their 'bout to drag me down"

BSCPANTHERFAN

Monday, July 31, 2006 4:58 PM

Gotta love the Captain Caveman, but where are the Teen Angels to go with him? Maybe they're at the Wacky Races or the Laff-a-Lympics.

I think everyone has a bit of the cave in them, and sometimes it's a good thing to at least notice when it is happening. It may be for a good reason. Or maybe I'm paranoid.

So who is he?
He's my husband.
Well who in the damn galaxy ain't!

TRISTAN

Monday, July 31, 2006 5:00 PM

I'll keep the Guinness cold (or warm, if you prefer it that way), the whiskey on ice, and the fridge full until you get there, NVG.
Yes, I did finish the boots. I posted pics over in the Costume thread.
Hey, go for it. You deserve a bit of happiness, and it sounds like she may be just the ticket for you.

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NVGHOSTRIDER

Monday, July 31, 2006 5:24 PM

BSC- I think thats why I'm rejecting the excuses I've made for myself. The caveman is taking over and I like it.

Tristan- "Killer boots man!"- Lloyd Christmas
I like Guinness. It can be spilled on the floor and sopped up with a dirty bar towel...
Okay, maybe not that much. But not far from.

"...And them chains them chains
Their 'bout to drag me down"

TRISTAN

Monday, July 31, 2006 5:27 PM

NVG, thanks!
And amen to the Guinness comment.

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GRRRARG

Monday, July 31, 2006 6:31 PM

There are two reasons I have for beards - the first is that clean-shaven, I look about 20.
"Oh, but you should find that flattering..."
Yeah, look, I'm 37, I'm a veteran, I'm a husband, I'm a father, etc., and if people think you're 20, they treat you like it. Paid my dues already.
Second, a full beard is actually useful in the winter - I discovered this late in a New England winter when I shaved it back to a mustache and gotee, and my face froze. Ever since, come Fall Equinox, I put away the razor.

As to redheads, and the perfect redhead ... so I'm watching Firefly on DVD and Mal gets a wife and she walks on camera and a large "!" appears over my head. Personality, any of the dozen we've seen for Saffron, aside, that theres the perfect woman for me; buxom redhead. Oh, yeah .
And as for personality, frankly, I liked the seductive evil ninja con-artist far better that the "may I wash your feet" personality. Never liked meek. Liked innocent and pure, but only for the opportunity to scuff it up.

MSG

Monday, July 31, 2006 6:45 PM

NV- breathe in and out and listen the only reason you ask someone out is to see if you are compatible. You aren't supposed to know ahead of time, that's what the date is for. Now like I said just ask her out once to dinner or something. It'll get your feet wet and you can see how it goes...who knows maybe you'll like dating:)

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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