Male and Female Imponderables--Pour Some Sugar On Me

POSTED BY: Tristan
UPDATED: Wednesday, August 16, 2006 23:00
VIEWED: 14015
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TRISTAN

Monday, August 14, 2006 3:49 PM

New thread for the Imponderable-ers to continue our fine discussions. This thread's title also brought to you by DeepGirl187. If there are any other song title ideas, PM me!

Last thread:
http://www.fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=2&t=23009&m=360332#360332

New faces are always welcome, as are lurkers.

______________________________________

DESKTOPHIPPIE

Monday, August 14, 2006 3:53 PM

*jumps in* FIRST!!!

More animations available at http://desktophippie.googlepages.com

MSG

Monday, August 14, 2006 4:04 PM

yippee a new home!

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

DESKTOPHIPPIE

Monday, August 14, 2006 4:08 PM

I suppose we should start actually discussing something, rather than just sitting here! Any suggestions? Brain is fried today!

EDIT - Just thought of something! The 'Sugar Water' scene from an episode of Buffy. Basically, Buffy is having a bit of a crisis and has a very sexy dance with a guy who fancies her like crazy (Xander) to make her boyfriend (Angel) jealous.

Has anyone here ever been on the wrong end of the jealousy game? Anyone have someone try to make them jealous?

Just as I'm typing this I think we may have discussed this before... Correct me if we have!

More animations available at http://desktophippie.googlepages.com

MSG

Monday, August 14, 2006 4:27 PM

Well I think we have, but my two cents are, deliberately making someone jealous is unkind and wrong. It never helps. If they like you, then they do. If not, then no amount of taunting will help.
That's just my opinion though:)

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

ODDSBODSKINS

Monday, August 14, 2006 4:30 PM

i s'pose, mostly just for the sake of supposing, that the logic might be to goad someone into admitting they like you, or prick their pride into them taking some action.

MSG

Monday, August 14, 2006 4:33 PM

I guess I am just so direct I'd be more along the lines of. "I like you, if you like me , then we should go out."

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

DESKTOPHIPPIE

Monday, August 14, 2006 4:36 PM

Sounds like a sensible way to be, MSG. I never got what making someone jealous was supposed to accomplish anyway, unless you're setting out to hurt someone.

I have had the jealousy game backfire on one boyfriend and one would be boyfriend. They tried to make me jealous and I dumped them. I don't have the time or patience for mind games.

More animations available at http://desktophippie.googlepages.com

ODDSBODSKINS

Monday, August 14, 2006 4:36 PM

much more sensible approach, well, easier anyways xD less prone to backfiring hideously methinks ^^

DAYVE

Monday, August 14, 2006 4:38 PM

Hello....
Got a short span here.... i've had this discussion here before... the jealously thing... i was used by a girl to make a guy jealous and as a result had to fight the dude... was not a fun night - so i would recommend against using jealousy as a tool in the war of love... even though it's been said that "all's fair" in such situations... it really isn't...

MSG

Monday, August 14, 2006 4:43 PM

I really hate that " all's fair in love and war" I mean come on ...We all know there are things that are over the line. Besides as I tell my students, if life was fair pizza and chocolate would be as good for you and low in calories as raw veggies:)

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

NVGHOSTRIDER

Monday, August 14, 2006 4:47 PM

Mornin' all. Little less punchy today so maybe I'll be a little more coherant. Gotta problem needs solving off the board. May e-mail a few who can help.

HELP!

FUTUREMRSFILLION

Monday, August 14, 2006 4:48 PM

*FMF stares at MsG as tho stunned* You mean life ISN"T FAIR!

We are The Forsaken - We aim to burn! and we don't need no stinkin levels!

one of the Forsaken TM

ODDSBODSKINS

Monday, August 14, 2006 4:53 PM

as it is also said, do you know the differance between love and war?

yes, one involves alot of physical and mental pain and anguish, and the other one's war

RUGBUG

Monday, August 14, 2006 5:16 PM

Ah, once again back to my dear imponderables. I survived getting run off with by my psycho horse, so all is good....

MSG: cats are a pain to train. All the usual food techniques all make them more bothersome. I would just move the cat everytime it gets in the way. Or learn to compute avec kitty.

Quote:
Originally posted by DesktopHippie:

EDIT - Just thought of something! The 'Sugar Water' scene from an episode of Buffy. Basically, Buffy is having a bit of a crisis and has a very sexy dance with a guy who fancies her like crazy (Xander) to make her boyfriend (Angel) jealous.

I always thought that scene was less about Buffy trying to make Angel jealous and more about power. She feels vulnerable (due to Master slayage) and is going to make herself feel powerful, no matter who she hurts. At least, that's always been my take.

I have never intentionally set something up to make someone feel jealous, but who hasn't sort of enjoyed the naturally occurring moments when it becomes apparent to your SO that you are wanted by others. IMO, that's all goodness (unless SO is controlling and turns it into badness). A little rush of "hey, s/he's with me. I'm lucky." But intentionally doing something rotten, like the Buffy/Xander/Angel thing, is indicative of a problem in the relationship, IMO.

***************
"My feelings are changeable but intense" Anya (season 7 Buffy)

SPACEANJL

Monday, August 14, 2006 5:17 PM

So...you're into pain, little boy?

I am off to get my tin-foil helmet on - I was just about to play with the jealousy Imponderable in my fic, so someone is stealing my thoughts. *Waves a pointy stick* Back off, these are my plot bunnies, mine, mine...

Too much caffeine. *SpaceAnJL lurches back into the Forsaken thread*

WHITEFALL

Monday, August 14, 2006 5:17 PM

As to what MSG was saying about school... ahh, school. Doesnt start for me for two more weeks, but of course I need to do a mound of homework before then.

Rose, I admit that 'last resort' was a bad word choice on my part, but it was for a lack of a better term. Ie, that marriage should be the culmination of a relationship, not the high point of it. (That may be the same thing, but not in my mind for some reason)

And jealousy, while we've been over this before, I too gotta say that jealousy makes no one happy, and if it's a way to get someone to take action, just talk to the dang person, whichever gender is who, don't matter none.

P.S. Rugbug, are you ok? Something about being run over by your beloved equine?

"But, these strong women characters?"

"Why aren't you asking 100 other guys why they don't write strong women characters?" -Joss Whedon

SPACEANJL

Monday, August 14, 2006 5:40 PM

You can't train cats, MsG. I can't even post the pic of my li'l furmonster.

RUGBUG

Monday, August 14, 2006 6:02 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Whitefall:

P.S. Rugbug, are you ok? Something about being run over by your beloved equine?

Yep, fine. Thanks for the concern. Actually, I didn't get run over...but run-off with.

Horsey decided that he needed to get away from something REAL QUICK during our ride on Sunday. I had flashes of falling off and re-injury, but managed to keep said horsey between me and the ground. Biggest problem is appropriate reaction is counter-intuititve. All you want to do is pull back and make them stop ASAP. With my horse, you have to stop pulling and just let him go. If you do that, he decides pretty quickly that going anywhere that fast is TOO.Much.Work. He will them stop of his own accord. But there's a few seconds of scary/no-control.

Spaceanjl: I trained my cat to sit down on command. It started out food-based and mostly her idea and I ran with it. It was a fun little trick, but said kitty had to go to the great kitty beyond. She was cool.

***************
"My feelings are changeable but intense" Anya (season 7 Buffy)

MSG

Monday, August 14, 2006 6:08 PM

yes I know the cats live to thwart me...sigh
Whitefall...see we teachers have to go back to school before you kids do:)

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

WHITEFALL

Monday, August 14, 2006 6:12 PM

no, i know, but seems your utah schools go back a week earlier than ours. Cause still two weeks short here, so wouldnt that mean teachers go back the following week?

Eh, wasimmer.

"But, these strong women characters?"

"Why aren't you asking 100 other guys why they don't write strong women characters?" -Joss Whedon

SPACEANJL

Monday, August 14, 2006 6:21 PM

Now, my cat has trained me to open tins and doors on command. It's a different peremptory yawp for each.

MSG

Monday, August 14, 2006 7:03 PM

Whitefall... We go back on the 22nd the kids go back on 28th. I'm not sure where that puts us relative to when you go back:)
Yes I know the feeling spaceAnJL- our cats like to be fed at 8pm sharp. at 8:05 D.J. ( our youngest) will sit and stare at me then at the dogs and the dogs will start whining and running around until I get up and feed. So our cat actually controls the dogs as well. Also, if we don't get up when he wants, he places his paws under the door, hooks them and shakes the door hard enough to rattle the frame.I'm just waiting for the day he takes us hostage:)

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

NVGHOSTRIDER

Monday, August 14, 2006 7:04 PM

Yeah, and if wishes were horses we'd all be eating steak.

Have no earthly reason to have said that, just had to get it out.

Thanks MSG and FMF, needed it.

WHITEFALL

Monday, August 14, 2006 7:07 PM

And people say cats wont take over the world!!!

Ok, nvm MSG, you win, it's the same schedule over here, but you implied you were going back this week....

ANYHOO.................

Ok, don't actually have anything to say here....

"But, these strong women characters?"

"Why aren't you asking 100 other guys why they don't write strong women characters?" -Joss Whedon

FUTUREMRSFILLION

Monday, August 14, 2006 7:08 PM

You are always welcome NV

We are The Forsaken - We aim to burn! and we don't need no stinkin levels!

one of the Forsaken TM

MSG

Monday, August 14, 2006 7:17 PM

Sadly Whitefall, I am I take a lot of classes to get more training to help my students so I end up back earlier than everyone else. I really hate when they start those back to school ads right now...like I need a reminder that my summer is dwindling

NV- babe any time and anything I can do to help. You're one hell of a guy and were I unmarried I would take you in a heartbeat!

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

DESKTOPHIPPIE

Monday, August 14, 2006 7:22 PM

Could be worse. I'm already back. Last week was ~meant~ to be my week off, but my boss injured her back and I had to cover all her classes.

*sigh* Wake me up when September ends...

More animations available at http://desktophippie.googlepages.com

MSG

Monday, August 14, 2006 7:28 PM

eeew HUGS desktop. I hate covering other's classes. It's just irritating:) Plus the kids are more difficult.

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

NVGHOSTRIDER

Monday, August 14, 2006 7:28 PM

I had heard mentioned before that you teach, but what and who. I notice there are numerous teachers or folks that taught here. Even a few human service folks like myself.

Seems as if everytime I consider sowing my man-whore oats something or someone stands in my way. But nothing seems to come out of it. I guess I'm blessed and cursed. Thanks and love to all.

RUGBUG

Monday, August 14, 2006 7:29 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by msg:
Also, if we don't get up when he wants, he places his paws under the door, hooks them and shakes the door hard enough to rattle the frame.

AH, my cat used to do that. That is, until she learned it was a quick ticket to being put outside. Oddly, she stopped doing it after a bit.

I'm not the nicest pet owner I suppose. ;)

Now, when I house sit, Mr.-I-am-royalty-and-should-be-treated-as-such doesn't get to come anywhere near me and does not get to sleep in the same room as me or the dogs. (But this cat is one that will bite you if he's laying on you and you try to move your arm or some such nonsense.)

***************
"My feelings are changeable but intense" Anya (season 7 Buffy)

MSG

Monday, August 14, 2006 7:34 PM

D.J.'s sweet and usually docile, he just wants us to get up and play. We take turns getting up with him I figured it's good practice for the baby:)

NV- Whatever you do we're here for you, but I think you should make yourself happy:)

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

NVGHOSTRIDER

Monday, August 14, 2006 8:06 PM

Migh5t have to run home and put on my suit. Feel like Gittin' down like Mr. Smiley emote.

As for cats: Our cat who we call Cat, (mom named her pepper, but she answers onlt to Cat), had her first litter a few months back. The day they left she went right back into heat. Since we would not let her out she went nuts.Crazy cat would run up and down the main hall for hours. She's better now. I hope.

P.S.- A little note or warning for all. If you wake up and your hair is sticky, your PS2 and X box are wet, and the truck is almost out of gas, ask nobody what happened. Just go on your merry way.
And I was geting into GTA again too gorramit.

MSG

Monday, August 14, 2006 8:13 PM

NV- oh you do love to present us with just enough info to keep us a wondering and a pondering:) So I assume you went and "fixed" the cat and all:)

You know I have never had enough to drink that I couldn't remember what happened...I wonder why that is? Oh yeah it's 'cause I get buzzed off 1-2 drinks and can't drink any more...oh well just one more experience I am doomed never to have...like getting a cavity, or doing regretable things as a teenager...sigh just some sort of goody two shoes gene I can't shake

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

NVGHOSTRIDER

Monday, August 14, 2006 8:19 PM

I found out there was a snack/drink fight, hence the sticky hair. And we'd gone between houses numerous times. But I cannot figure out the PS2/Xbox mystery.
Think the Mystery Machine might be rolling into the parking lot soon. Oh the wacky fun. Think I'll have to bitchslap Freddy and go investigate with Daphnie.

Ru Ro Shaggy.

MSG

Monday, August 14, 2006 8:21 PM

Hey what about Velma????

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

NVGHOSTRIDER

Monday, August 14, 2006 8:24 PM

Movie Velma, oh hell yeah. Cartoon Velma, maybe. But I'll have to give her a cute nickname or something, (Moms name is Velma. Yeah, thats a might creepy.)

MSG

Monday, August 14, 2006 8:31 PM

ok we'll just call her Emma or V or something...'cause yeah that'd be a bit weird... mind you my dad has a sister, a wife, and a daughter named Margaret

EDIT- my husband's got a thing for Linda Cardellini ( movie Velma) too:)
I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

NVGHOSTRIDER

Monday, August 14, 2006 8:33 PM

Bet he has nicks for all of them. I get confused with my brother Jon. Mind you he's a little taller, better looking, and is pretty much white.

WHITEFALL

Monday, August 14, 2006 8:36 PM

I'm afraid I don't know much about scoobi doo...

Well I'll have to leave for awhile pretty soon, but I was looking at the SF browncoat site, and.... dang that browncoat ball looks cool, for all my 17-ness and lack of anything even remotely resembling formal. And of course the issue of travel, (may seem petty to you folks who are countries away) it'd be an hour each way at best, probably more if I can find a bus. And of course it'd be a school weekend.....

Huh, well that's something for me to ponder, leastways.

"But, these strong women characters?"

"Why aren't you asking 100 other guys why they don't write strong women characters?" -Joss Whedon

NVGHOSTRIDER

Monday, August 14, 2006 8:41 PM

I like the idea of a ball. Though, I appear to look more like part of security rather then a guest. Maybe you know someone who can help make or alter an existing outfit?

MSG

Monday, August 14, 2006 9:08 PM

NV- oh you do not look like security...you have really got to get yourself a mirror! Oh and only my sis has a nickname, both mom and aunt are just plain Margaret...my dad has 4 sis and 3 daughters so every time he reaches for our names we get...Carol, Evelyn, Margaret, Diane, Cathy, Margi,Lila...oh you know who I'm talking to

Whitefall- definitely ponderable wish I could go, I love balls:) Of course now you wouldn't end up with one of those truly charming black cardboard folders with photos you get when you go to all the proms and homecomings and such...mind you they just take up room in a drawer now, but Whitefall get them anyway it's worth it and fun to look and see what awful taste you had in clothes once upon a time ( the late 80's-early 90's were a bad place fashion wise)I'm sure my child will find the whole stack vastly humorous:)

On a side note- I HATE and LOATHE and DESPISE my washing machine. Disbalancing freak of a machine!

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

NVGHOSTRIDER

Monday, August 14, 2006 9:14 PM

Keep forgettin nieces name is Velma and not Baby or little one. Might be smart to start calling her by her real name.

And that may not be a proper way to end a sentance to someone wishing to attend a ball. Perma smile is now in effect.

MSG

Monday, August 14, 2006 9:20 PM

oh come on NV you know you're hot...we all know you're hot...

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

NVGHOSTRIDER

Monday, August 14, 2006 9:30 PM

(Licks finger and touches self)

SIZZLE

Damn that hurt.

Thanks. Had to be sure.

MSG

Monday, August 14, 2006 9:31 PM

ok so now you just need to go get someone to kiss that burn and make it better;)
Yes I know subtle and all, but I just want you do be the one out kicking up your heels and having fun for a change:)
I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

NVGHOSTRIDER

Monday, August 14, 2006 9:57 PM

Felt like dancin' for over a month now, AND I DON'T DANCE!

As for the burning..

MSG

Monday, August 14, 2006 10:01 PM

well you know me...I love dancing, it's like touching heaven ( ok big, peaceful smile)

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

ZEEK

Monday, August 14, 2006 10:07 PM

Slow day in imponderable land huh?

I've got a cat too. She's the sweetest little thing ever. All my friends make fun of me just because I like my cat more than I like them. I don't care. My kitty rocks.

Funny story actually. I went on vacation last week and they were getting back at me for when I tped one of their apartments when they were gone. However, with my apartment they had the fear of God put in them that if they ended up doing anything that hurt my kitty they'd pay. Oh how they would have paid. She was fine though

NVGHOSTRIDER

Monday, August 14, 2006 10:22 PM

Actually, there is alot happening on the side. Funny how folks are with their pets. I basically got a "I won't F with you if you don't F with me" attitude with my moms pets. Cat gets a bit lonely or wants food so she'll bug me. Since she's an alright cat most of the time I usually jump up and feed her or I'll pet het for a while.

I would like to thank MSG for sharing her summer vacation with us. Gonna be a sizeable chunk missing when school starts. Thanks MSG.

MSG

Monday, August 14, 2006 10:45 PM

Hey I've loved every minute of it:) and it's not like I'm dying. I will be able to log on in the mornings and afternoons and all:)
Right now though I need to go cook dinner and then the husband has a raid:) So no more computer time for me
HUGS to all
Side note- Tristan tonight's dinner is chicken enchiladas in a sour cream/green chili sauce with ranch rice ( cheese and chilis as well) made by my beloved mother for my husband 'cause they are his favorite:)

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

VINTERDRAKEN

Monday, August 14, 2006 10:49 PM

On Jealousy games: Yeah, ive been drawn into my fair share of these, try to avoid them though. Dont want to be the ammunition to shoot some poor suckers confidence out of the sky. Also, they often end in the weapon getting the crap beaten out of him although he is often totally innocent.

A little imponderable of me own then.
How to meet girls? I mean im not totally messed up when it comes to the social parts and ive been told my looks aint that bad either, but where do you go if you want to meet an attractive browncoat lady to persuade to become your partner? Bars are a big no, atleast in my town (almost no singles and way to loud music). And besides, I like talking to people and not just assume they say something interesting as soon as they open their mouths.

You can’t stop the Signal.
Keep spreading the word about Firefly!

NVGHOSTRIDER

Monday, August 14, 2006 10:54 PM

You are definately amongst the Forsaken. Enchiladas. Lucky bugger.
Good night and good luck.

WHITEFALL

Tuesday, August 15, 2006 12:38 AM

Btw, MsG, I must make a blittering comment about 'and then husband has a raid': hehe. You should start a webcomic or something, 'The Plight of the Warrior's Wife: WoW and the Family.' Something like that, make it a joke on the 'husband has gone off to war' thing.

"But, these strong women characters?"

"Why aren't you asking 100 other guys why they don't write strong women characters?" -Joss Whedon

PHOENIXROSE

Tuesday, August 15, 2006 3:56 AM

ARG I can't find my phone! I think my car has eaten my phone! Doom doom doom!
Sorry, just had to get that out.
Ms G, my dad and I trained my cat to stay off the counters (when we were in the room, anyway) by hissing at her. A very long "f" sound; it always startled her and was something she could understand as meaning "move" "get out" or "no" or whatever else. Sometimes we would have to remove her, of course. The good thing about cats it that they tend to be small enough to just pick up and move.
Same name things; my stepdad has the same anme as my grandfather. My mom twitched about it for awhile, I know. My dad dated a woman with the same name as one of his sisters, and he kept having to distinguish who he was talking about with middle names. My own brother has an unusual name and my dad's is a bit out of fashion, so I haven't run into that problem, though I do twitch a little when someone has the same name as one of my exes. One of the guys I've been talking to on my personals site (he doesn't have a picture and lives in Denver and I've probably only mentioned him in passing) has the same name as my first (and very bad) boyfriend. That's a twitch.
i have the same problem, Vinterdraken. Hate bars, have tried other various hang-out places with little success, now I've got a personal ad online. Well, I've met some people, but the only one I've actually met in person was, shall we say, far from perfect. As Magdalena put it, a "wash out" rather than a "Wash". Wish I could help ya...

An insincere and evil friend is more to be feared than a wild beast; a wild beast may wound your body, but an evil friend will wound your mind. - Gautama Siddharta

DANCINGNEKO

Tuesday, August 15, 2006 4:24 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by msg:

Dancing Neko- Irish are we???( which is good, as I am)

*blinks* *starts giggling* Maybe in a past life I was a sterotypical "Firey Irish Redhead colleen" MsG. Other than that, I've been accused of being one a lifetime ago (back before the 'web was "the internet" *pulls out cane*) and only in my heart.

('Tho I am going to listen to my favorite band play tonight just to catch up with everyone *squee*.)...*ahem*
Other than that...Yeah, *cough* I have a low tolerance for certain issues and behaviors.

9/11: One portion of the (currently) neverending story... My first year teaching, I don't think it really hit my students that day -- it just didn't make sense. I forget how much later that year, I had to console a student who just couldn't envision plans for getting into college the next year.
...It's been five years and I've heard from some of my former students (a few that joined the military). I find myself wondering if they chose this because of that day, and praying that they stay safe while they're assigned to overseas.

Whitefall: You're lucky. Where I am, public school started three weeks ago. I started the week of July 24. *sighs* *pulls out a fan to try and cool down* Oh well, there's a one week break the first week of October, then winter break is three weeks (and spring break is two weeks).

GRRRARG

Tuesday, August 15, 2006 4:41 AM

I did fine dating as long as I kept within my communities - as soon as I stuck to just pagan women, I got dates. And I stuck to geeks, I met my wife in a scifi bookstore.
Otherwise, I was pretty bad at picking up women; bars, no. Work, absolutly not, unless it was an 11th hour romance - like the one I almost started two weeks before I moved from Boston to Dallas.
In fact, I was really good at finding women at exactly the most inconvienent times....

I am so so happy not to be single....dating sucks.

"Don't put your trust in revolutions. They always come around again. That's why they're called revolutions. People die, and nothing changes." -Terry Pratchett "Night Watch"

PHOENIXROSE

Tuesday, August 15, 2006 4:47 AM

Damn, I need to find some Pagan geeks. It's surprisingly hard to do here.

An insincere and evil friend is more to be feared than a wild beast; a wild beast may wound your body, but an evil friend will wound your mind. - Gautama Siddharta

GOAT

Tuesday, August 15, 2006 5:40 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by DesktopHippie:
Has anyone here ever been on the wrong end of the jealousy game? Anyone have someone try to make them jealous?

My most recent ex equated jealousy with caring and thought that I didn't get jealous because I didn't care about her and couldn't understand why I would "let" her go out by herself.

I think that jealousy is a sign of a lack of trust in a relationship and I trusted her, so for a long time I wasn't jealous and didn't act that way.

She did succeed in making me feel jealous one day, though (which was a downward turning point in our relationship), when I went home for a weekend to visit my parents. We had an argument the day before and I was already worried about her when she woke me up with a phone call at 3:30AM. I knew that she had gone to a party at an ex-boyfriends house, so she was drunk off her ass and asked me "I think that he wants to sleep with me. What should I do?". I was not amused by this, and found out later that he brought her home and they slept together (no sex, though. I do trust her on that) which really isn't something to worry about, but it still bothered me that she was doing it to upset me and succeeded.

WHITEFALL

Tuesday, August 15, 2006 6:06 AM

Frankly Neko, i'd prefer that system. In a lot of ways, this summer is too long, and the other breaks are always too short. Imo, when it gets to the point that I might, possible actually want to go back to school, the summer has gone on long enough. Plus, if we only had 6 weeks, we'd probably get less homework.

"But, these strong women characters?"

"Why aren't you asking 100 other guys why they don't write strong women characters?" -Joss Whedon

PHOENIXROSE

Tuesday, August 15, 2006 11:56 AM

Ok, here's the lamest part of internet personals; what do you do when someone just throws a basically loaded question at you? I got a message from this guy asking "Do you date black men?" Well, I haven't, but I've got nothing against them. But he's ten years older than me and a Christian (no offense to the Christians here; I just couldn't date one I'm sorry). So what am I supposed to say? "I've got no problem with your skin, but our creeds clash"? "I don't date men in their 30s"? And what the hell kind of question is that? I hate those "You should date me or you're racist" types. I had a 35 year old Mexican pull that on me when I turned him down (this was in real life, mind) He was like "What, you don't like Mexican people?" and I said "Uh, I have a boyfriend and I told you that. What I don't like is pushy people."
So what is up with that? Anyone else come across that?

An insincere and evil friend is more to be feared than a wild beast; a wild beast may wound your body, but an evil friend will wound your mind. - Gautama Siddharta

MAGDALENA

Tuesday, August 15, 2006 12:16 PM

Hi, Just got in and I'm here people! I'll have to read the thread to catch up but a tiny little hijack first - Desk Top Hippie!! You
are the BEST!!! I love them & I hope one of them is appearing at the bottom of this post... & if it doesn't then please remember that I am seriously-compterly-challenged...

PR! Hi - I would say somthing like "Yes I date black me... but that doesn't automatically mean I'll date you..." I love that you are taking the plunge though - good for you!!! (& I didn't take offense coz I wasn't planning to ask you to date me - being a female/hetrosexual/with a big age difference aside I think my faith would just be the last straw...

Mwaaah - Magdalena x x x

{edit} OK ... totally un-computer-coordinated...

Edit again- coz I thought there was a smiley emote called :disappinted:

"I love my Captain!"

DESKTOPHIPPIE

Tuesday, August 15, 2006 12:26 PM

Hi Magdalena!

Just about to leave - glad I caught you! You can leave out the URL tags. Delete [URL= BIT and [/IMG] [/URL] tags and just leave the address of the banner itself, from http onwards.

Like this - http//fakestuff/image/fakethisisjustfake - as long as there are no tags around it, you'll see the actual image when you post.

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MAGDALENA

Tuesday, August 15, 2006 12:59 PM

[hijack thread] Hi Adorable Desktop Hippie! Thank you - I am still pretty 'unco' obviously (is unco a word you use in the US?/UK?)

I'll keep trying though 'coz I cannot wait for EVERYONE to see my shiney birthday present!!

Thank you again - Magdalena x x[/hijack thread]

I also thought I should mention jealousy as a negative energy - therefor not to be a focus of any relationship. Positive energy like trust, communication, love, forgiveness - those are the things that should exist in a relationship... unless you want it to eat away at your very soul...

And I, too, thought that scene was more about Buffy's reaction to what had happened with the Master - not so much making Angel jealous - she was deliberately hurting Xander too, and assumed that Willow's loyalty would be to Xander and Angel would be on the outer as well... she thought she would protect them if they were not close to her... Oh, and she was still a teenager acting out her frustration at not having a say in being the Slayer...

That's all - Magda x x x

"I love my Captain!"

PHOENIXROSE

Tuesday, August 15, 2006 1:01 PM

Fireflyfans.net does not display png files. I'm not sure why.
That's a good response, Magdalena! I might use that one!

An insincere and evil friend is more to be feared than a wild beast; a wild beast may wound your body, but an evil friend will wound your mind. - Gautama Siddharta

TRISTAN

Tuesday, August 15, 2006 1:09 PM

Morning, all!

MSG, that's not fair! First thing I come to is the delicious menu for last night's dinner...

On a side note, today is my wife's birthday! We'll be going to a Japanese steak house followed by a horror movie of her choice (she loves horror movies...one birthday, her movie choice was Jason vs. Freddy). This is the place that serves that really good Sake.

Hey, VinterDraken! Welcome back...again! Missed you around here.

DancingNeko, it only takes one drop of Irish blood to make an Irishman (/woman). That's what I tell everyone...as I am 1/64th on my father's side and something like 1/16th or 1/32nd on my mother's side...but I consider myself Irish.

I have a day's worth of work to catch up one, so I'll be on and off a bit.
Coffee first, then work...

______________________________________

MAGDALENA

Tuesday, August 15, 2006 1:32 PM

Oh Gorgeous Phoenix Rose - do you mean to say that I am not so totally useless as I thought?!!! I love you!! I do want you to see the signature banner that DT Hippie made me though - it's just so awesome!! I guess we'll work that one out soon...

I'm so glad if my suggestion helped! Let me know how you go with your 'potentials' and if you do end up meeting with/actually dating any of them (as if you wouldn't tell us everything eh?) I'm feeling very much like your big sister at the moment!

Tristan! Tell your gorgeous wife that we say a huge Happy Birthday!! I suppose you had to go through the trauma of a French wife to get to the prize of a Leo Warrior Woman!! (just from reading your previous imponderable posts...) I know so many awesome Leo ladies - we're all very loyal, creative, imaginative, fun-loving, compassionate... Well - I shouldn't toot my own trumpet but my best friend's birthday was 14th mine's 11th, another Firefly fan-friend is 15th & a gorgeous friend (20 years younger but no age-barrier between us ever) was also 14th My own little doll (whom I nanny) is the 17th so I guess I have a few to chose from... (Most of us are actors too - except my best friend but she's artistic in many other ways!) I'm jealous of the Japanese food - love sake - but you can take her to the horror flick without any envy here - I have nightmares for months after something like that!!

I'm a little high on Turkish Delight at the moment... so forgive me if my posts are long...

"I love my Captain!"

TRISTAN

Tuesday, August 15, 2006 1:37 PM

Magdalena, thank you! Yes, I had to go through a trial to win my warrior woman...I just hope I'm not her trial...that would be bad. She is mostly how you describe Leo's, but has a few quirks that are uniquely hers. And yes, horror movies are one of them!

You. Have. Turkish. Delight? Ok, where do you live, I'll be right over!

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PHOENIXROSE

Tuesday, August 15, 2006 1:40 PM

Yep, gotta love the fiery ladies
Although my two best friends in my life were both Aquarians. Did I mention Drool-Worthy boy is an Aquarious? That just adds to his appeal!
I'm actually really surprised I get along so well with so many Leos here; usually I talk to another fire sign and we instantly clash. Not sure what that's about. Glad to know it doesn't extend to everything, though!
Happy birthday to Tristan's lovely wife!
(why doesn't she post much anymore? Doesn't she like us?)

An insincere and evil friend is more to be feared than a wild beast; a wild beast may wound your body, but an evil friend will wound your mind. - Gautama Siddharta

ODDSBODSKINS

Tuesday, August 15, 2006 1:48 PM

aquarians are good, although it does worry me sometimes that the stuff i read about them is, well, accurate, s'no reason for it to be, but, it is. still, c'est la vie, can always put it down to a fluke

but a big happy birthday to mrs Tristan

MSG

Tuesday, August 15, 2006 2:00 PM

PR- yes my students pull the it's because I'm black( or hispanic) I usually respond " no it's 'cause you're loud"

Tristan- hey we have leftovers darlin:) A big hug and happy birthday to your wife. And for future reference, I am a Leo and I adore horror movies and I can't wait for Freddy vs. Jason vs. Ash...also please note my idea of a Valentine's movie was Alien vs. Predator. Oh and if you go see Descent or Pulse let me know if they're good as I've not seen them yet:)

Whitefall- yeah I'm waiting for me to say " hon I'm in labor we need to go" and him to respond " well I'm on a raid, can you call your mom?" ( just kidding there's not much chance of him doing that:)

On a side note I have to leave now for another fabulous training so hopefully I will see you guys later..HUGS to all

NV- let me know how things go:)

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

MAGDALENA

Tuesday, August 15, 2006 2:12 PM

Oh Yeah! I knew MsG was also a Leo... point made I think! Another awesome Leo Lady! (LOL at the image of MrG saying '...can you call your mother???')

Tristan - you would be most welcome to join me in some Turkish Delight - but would the Warrior Woman mind if I asked you to wear your Captain Mal outfit?? Also it's a fair way to 'New Melbourne from... where is it you're from? (PS my tongue was firmly in my cheek about the whole you in a Mal costume I'd never hit on a married man... any unmarried men are encouraged to apply here though... and make sure you borrow Tristan's Captain Mal or Dread Pirate Roberts costume on the way!! )

Uh... that should safely spoil my image for now...

Mwaaah - Magdalena x x x

"I love my Captain!"

[URL= http://imageshack.us][IMG]http://imageshack.us/img/iss1.png[/IMG][/URL]

TRISTAN

Tuesday, August 15, 2006 2:19 PM

Thank you for the birthday wish for the wife, PR. She does get on here every now and then, but doesn't post much...she's not too much of a forum-junkie like I am...
MSG, the wife was actually thinking about seeing Pulse...so that may be where we end up. I'll let you know.
Oh, if you need my mailing address for those leftovers, let me know!

Magdalena, the wife would not mind at all. She doesn't mind the flirting one bit...engages in it herself, from time-to-time, so no worries about anything. New Melbourne's not all that far away...I live in Alabama, so I'd just have to drive to the Atlanta airport and climb aboard a plane for about 20 hours or so. Well worth it for Turkish Delight, I think!

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MAGDALENA

Tuesday, August 15, 2006 2:33 PM

You obviously have a high opinion of my Turkish Delight - must say it's a little too runny for me to be sharin' it with anyone right now... hence i've just OD'd on it... with a spoon... mmmmmm I love it when a couple is secure enough to flirt a little - it is usually harmless and I love that I can flirt with lots of my male friends without it being taken the wrong way - something you simply can not do with you female friends as it doesn't have the same 'vibe'... makes sense... at all...???

Oh! And I will make up another batch soon 'coz i'm makin' it for 'my' little girls 5th birthday party this weekend - once you've seen 'The Lion, The Witch, & The Wardrobe' as many times as she has, you start to ask for it... This batch would be considered a liquid, no doubt, so I couldn't even post it to go with your enchilada's ... another of my favourites too!

Now, why do I have 'Sweet Home Alabama' in my head...

'Night everyone - Magdalena x x x

"I love my Captain!"

ZEEK

Tuesday, August 15, 2006 2:36 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by PhoenixRose:
But he's ten years older than me and a Christian (no offense to the Christians here; I just couldn't date one I'm sorry).

I don't want to totally threadjack this whole thing, but how can a person ever say something like that. It's like saying I could never date and asian. Even if I tried I could never meet them all in my lifetime to ever justify a statement like that. I just never understand classifying a whole group of people in one way.

Of course I'm christian, but I also don't take offense to that. I just don't understand it.

RUGBUG

Tuesday, August 15, 2006 2:41 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by PhoenixRose:
Ok, here's the lamest part of internet personals; what do you do when someone just throws a basically loaded question at you? I got a message from this guy asking "Do you date black men?" Well, I haven't, but I've got nothing against them. But he's ten years older than me and a Christian (no offense to the Christians here; I just couldn't date one I'm sorry). So what am I supposed to say? "I've got no problem with your skin, but our creeds clash"? "I don't date men in their 30s"? And what the hell kind of question is that? I hate those "You should date me or you're racist" types.

See, now I see that is a legitimate questionand not one to get worked up over. If you aren't attracted to black men, might as well find out up front. I guess I see the question more like, "how do you feel about short men? Fat men? blond men?" etc. Yes, it could be loaded, and you won't know until you give him an answer, but I would give him the benefit of the doubt.

My response would be along the lines of "sure, but what actually concerns me is your religion." Then you get an opening to either talk religion and how large a role it plays in both of your lives or you can cut him loose fairly easily.

Tristan: wish the wife a very happy birthday....

***************
"My feelings are changeable but intense" Anya (season 7 Buffy)

TRISTAN

Tuesday, August 15, 2006 2:41 PM

Magdalena, have you invented the Turkish Delight smoothie?!? Shiny! Patent it; you'll make millions!
Yeah, the flirting thing is nice. There have been a few "bumps" (my Neanderthal brain taking something too seriously), but for the most part, all is well, and we both enjoy flirting.

Yes, Sweet Home, Alabama is the unofficial State anthem here. No joke, it is just like you hear.

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PHOENIXROSE

Tuesday, August 15, 2006 2:43 PM

It's not at all like saying I could never date an Asian!
Christians have a certain set of beliefs that define them as being Christian. These beliefs, in day to day life and particularly in intimate situations, would clash with mine on a very fundamental level.
My Ex of Doom was raised Christian, but claimed not to be one, and for the most part did not behave like one. However, right before our relationship ended, he started behaving more like one, and defending a faith he claimed not to follow whenever I said or did something that didn't agree with it. This was a big problem. I'm not sure if it was the cause of our breakup because I'm not even sure what the cause was as he didn't tell me, but it was a source of tension.
I know that Christians have different personalities and they aren't all the same, and I've had Christian friends, but it is a fact that they believe very different things than what I believe. To have a true connection with someone, I need to have certain beliefs in common with them. This is something I came to realize about me and me alone; it's just a fact.

An insincere and evil friend is more to be feared than a wild beast; a wild beast may wound your body, but an evil friend will wound your mind. - Gautama Siddharta

ZEEK

Tuesday, August 15, 2006 2:56 PM

I don't think it's a fact at all. I have yet to meet two christians who have the same set of beliefs. Every person has their own set of beliefs or values. You may be able to pick out a few that the majority of christians believe, but I don't think you'd get very far trying to list beliefs that every single christian holds. That's the last I'll say on the subject though. Don't want to get into a heated debate.

ODDSBODSKINS

Tuesday, August 15, 2006 3:01 PM

it may well be the case that the majority of christians have very, very differant belief's, but at root they do have a certain core, when contrasted with other system's of belief. If PR finds that these core belief's are so contrasting with her own she would feel uncomfortable being 100% honest and open with someone who held them, then i think that's not entirely unreasonable.

PHOENIXROSE

Tuesday, August 15, 2006 3:12 PM

Thank you Odds That is exactly what I was getting at. I'm glad you understand; I'm seething a bit less now...

An insincere and evil friend is more to be feared than a wild beast; a wild beast may wound your body, but an evil friend will wound your mind. - Gautama Siddharta

ODDSBODSKINS

Tuesday, August 15, 2006 3:15 PM

hehe, glad i could help then ^^

ZEEK

Tuesday, August 15, 2006 3:24 PM

Well there we go. That's a good imponderable then. Something about the honesty and openness. Is there something about your SO that would make you feel like you couldn't be honest and open with them? I can't see ever acting that way with a SO. I'd rather end up broken up then to lie to them. Heck its happened to me. Still feels much better than trying to be someone I'm not.

TRISTAN

Tuesday, August 15, 2006 3:32 PM

Hey, as long as we stay away from the religion in here, all will be well. There are plenty of threads in here dealing with that issue...I know we ae playing nice, and nothing is going too far, but every time religion or politics are brought up, things get a little tense in here.

On that note, I do think honesty and openness in a relationship are very important. I would hate to feel like I had to really hide something from my SO...I agree with Zeek; I'd rather break up than lie.

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NVGHOSTRIDER

Tuesday, August 15, 2006 3:55 PM

Good mornin' all.

Be in and out all day.

Anyone else still recovering from the wonderful skinnydipping party on the moon?

Is there soneone here who should be out spreading religiosity to the fuzzy wuzzys or some such?

Be back.

ODDSBODSKINS

Tuesday, August 15, 2006 4:45 PM

inclined to agree that honesty and openness would be the way to go, and, if for whatever reason they aren't a possibility, it might be better to part ways.

another imponderable of sorts, to do with music. Now, there's a lot of music out there that adds a swagger to my walk, if i hear it while i'm headed down the street, a LOT of muddy waters has that effecton me, and i've never known a man alive who could stop himself swaggering if 'little green bag' plays somewhere. hell if it plays in a pub and they're all sitting down you can see the knees spread, every bloke there trying to swagger without moving, i do it myself, can't stop me if i try.
But i've never know a woman who was affected in the same way. anyone got any idea what's at base of this?

RUGBUG

Tuesday, August 15, 2006 5:02 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Oddsbodskins:
inclined to agree that honesty and openness would be the way to go, and, if for whatever reason they aren't a possibility, it might be better to part ways.

another imponderable of sorts, to do with music. Now, there's a lot of music out there that adds a swagger to my walk, if i hear it while i'm headed down the street,
But i've never know a woman who was affected in the same way. anyone got any idea what's at base of this?

Uh-oh, I must be a man.

There's music out there that I just HAVE to move to. Sometimes just as slight as a toe tap or head bob, sometimes as overt as boppin' down the sidewalk. The worst for me is swing music. Weddings become killer because just about everyone plays swing during the cocktail hour and meal time. I am just itching to dance to it, but out of respect, I don't. Then it's time to dance, and even if there is a man around who knows how to lindy, they've changed the music to hip-hop, top 40, whatever. Ah, the injustice of it all.

***************
"My feelings are changeable but intense" Anya (season 7 Buffy)

NVGHOSTRIDER

Tuesday, August 15, 2006 5:05 PM

An idea on the base of your pondering? Oh yeah. Music effects the mind, body and soul. I have the same effects from Muddy Waters, John Lee Hooker, Howlin' Wolf, Johnny Cash, Gary Allan, Chris LeDoux,Offspring, Sublime, Jimi Hendrix, etc., etc., etc. Something about the beats and rhythm and how they dwell within our being. We are essentially creatures dominated by timing. And since we are still relatively new to the earth we are easily influenced by our surroundings.
Strange that you have not met a woman who suffers from the same affliction. Most of the women I know or have known are inclined to dance, sing, hum, or "other" in the presence of certain music. Just wondering why the women in your culture appear less inclined to do so.

ZEEK

Tuesday, August 15, 2006 5:10 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Oddsbodskins:
But i've never know a woman who was affected in the same way. anyone got any idea what's at base of this?

Maybe they don't swagger, but really what would that look like on a woman anyway? I think a lot of times women get the urge to dance when certain songs play. That really doesn't transfer over to men in my experience. I've never known a guy to just break out into dance because he just had to let it out. At best I get the urge to tap my foot and bop my head a bit.

WHITEFALL

Tuesday, August 15, 2006 5:26 PM

Bah, unless it's really good countrywestern or showtunes, me and music dont tend to mix. (Though pre-show, when they're musicals, always good to have a dressing room of 30 people singing seasons of love.)

As for the Christianity thing, I gotta agree with Rose, that if it is guarunteed to be an issue of contention, it's probably asking for trouble to date a Christian. On the other hand, the guy might understand or somesuch, but... well it does save you a lot of trouble.

Happy birthday to the warrior woman! And dont forget...

"This is a morality tale on the evils of sake..."

"But, these strong women characters?"

"Why aren't you asking 100 other guys why they don't write strong women characters?" -Joss Whedon

TRISTAN

Tuesday, August 15, 2006 5:29 PM

Thanks, Whitefall! Every time I drink Sake now, I remember that line. It's ok, though, I can't sing all that well!

______________________________________

NVGHOSTRIDER

Tuesday, August 15, 2006 5:32 PM

So since we're on the subject of music...
I once had a vision of my wedding. Strange that I could not see who I was marrying or the faces of the people attending, but I felt I knew all of them and we were slow dancing to a Buddy Holly song (Sounded like True Love Ways).
It was very out of character for my usual line of dreaming. I had no romantic persuits and no need for romance at the time. But it certainly felt like a cold splash in the face.
So, what do my fellow Browncoats see as romantic?
There has been very little romance in the lives of those before me. I feel the need to live a little more that them.
The one thing I wish to do is the only thing romantic I ever heard of my grandparents doing.
There is a hill outside of Dayton, Nevada just off highway 50 where they would stop and have lunch while traveling, but only when they were alone. People passing by would see them sitting together under a tree sharing lunch and talking. They spoke to each other very little when other folks were around and never showed any affection in public. Yet they had this one spot where, in full view of the highway, they were friends.
As strange as it sounds, that is romance to me. Though, it was a different time, I still feel the need to have that.
Just wondering about all of your views of romance.

ODDSBODSKINS

Tuesday, August 15, 2006 5:44 PM

lucky you, last dream i remember was about socks >.<

i suppose it does just manifest differantly, and it's true, female swaggering would be a bit on the odd side 8-)

ehm, as for romance, i'm really not sure what i consider romantic these days, used to have very set idea's abouw what i did and didn't consider romantic gesture's, nowadays, not so much really, alot less certain about it.

RUGBUG

Tuesday, August 15, 2006 5:54 PM

Many of my most romantic moments involve spontaneous dancing. Slow dancing, that is. And not while we're out dancing, but at home, or the park...someplace semi-private. Just being caught up in each other and the music and having to get as close as possible, without going any further. The world just melts away....

***************
"My feelings are changeable but intense" Anya (season 7 Buffy)

WHITEFALL

Tuesday, August 15, 2006 6:00 PM

"I've seen so much death"....

/dance.

Like that?

"But, these strong women characters?"

"Why aren't you asking 100 other guys why they don't write strong women characters?" -Joss Whedon

WHITEFALL

Tuesday, August 15, 2006 6:05 PM

Ok, seriously now, romance... I think romance is sharing something with someone else when they get the same feeling out of it that you do. Whatever it is. Though of course it helps that it's something you love, but it sorta needs to be something the other person likes equally.

So it can be romantic to keep secrets, or romantic to tell them, romantic to dance with someone else, or to just sit, romantic to talk, romantic to speak silently...... the list goes on.

I think romance, unlike beauty (being in the eye of the beholder and whatnot), is in the eye of both beholders at once.

Ok, thats enough philosophizing for now.

"But, these strong women characters?"

"Why aren't you asking 100 other guys why they don't write strong women characters?" -Joss Whedon

RUGBUG

Tuesday, August 15, 2006 6:10 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Whitefall:
"I've seen so much death"....

/dance.

Like that?

Oh yea! You get me Nathan and I'll take care of the rest.

(actually dance should be a little slower, so slow you're hardly dancing, but you and the object of your affection know your dancing. Otherwise it's just hugging. :hahaha: But again, Nathan can dance as fast or slow as he wants...I'll follow along).

***************
"My feelings are changeable but intense" Anya (season 7 Buffy)

ZEEK

Tuesday, August 15, 2006 6:19 PM

I don't know if this counts but a wedding on the beach sounds pretty darn romantic to me. Just a small little ceremony with a beautiful girl on a beach (of course at sunset somehow). That sounds pretty romantic to me.

MSG

Tuesday, August 15, 2006 7:00 PM

hmmm one of the things I think is romantic is that my husband likes every part of who I am. Whether I dress up or not, whether I am happy or sad, whether I am changeable or fixed, he likes me...not just loves me, he likes me and that's romantic:)

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

TRISTAN

Tuesday, August 15, 2006 7:34 PM

MSG, that's the way I feel about my wife...if with a somewhat different slant. I love my wife no matter what; if I'm angry, depressed, aloof, sick, hungry, away, etc. No matter what mood I am in, or she is in, I love her completely. That is how I know she is "the one"...don't get me wrong, I like her, too, I just love her all the time!

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