If Astronauts and Cavemen got into a fight who would win?

POSTED BY: MrBlueSun
UPDATED: Tuesday, August 25, 2026 19:45
VIEWED: 8670
PAGE 1 of 1

MRBLUESUN

Friday, January 26, 2007 12:56 PM

Just for fun.
Let the flame war commence.
Just so you know my money is on the Cavemen.

"If nothing we do matters, then all that matters is what we do"

CITIZEN

Friday, January 26, 2007 1:07 PM

The insurance sales men

More insane ramblings by the people who brought you beeeer milkshakes!
No one can see their reflection in running water. It is only in still water that we can see.

MAVOURNEEN

Friday, January 26, 2007 1:09 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by citizen:
The insurance sales men

Tristan would win? Hmmm. I had no idea.

CITIZEN

Friday, January 26, 2007 1:15 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Mavourneen:
Tristan would win? Hmmm. I had no idea.

Only if he wasn't fighting a Banker.

More insane ramblings by the people who brought you beeeer milkshakes!
No one can see their reflection in running water. It is only in still water that we can see.

MAVOURNEEN

Friday, January 26, 2007 1:53 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by citizen:
Quote:
Originally posted by Mavourneen:
Tristan would win? Hmmm. I had no idea.

Only if he wasn't fighting a Banker.

Yes, a banker would change things, wouldn't it?

But what if Tristan has a term life policy in one hand, and a whole life policy in the other and was waving them about trying to explain the difference?

DESKTOPHIPPIE

Friday, January 26, 2007 1:56 PM

Do the astronauts have weapons?

Graphics available at www.desktophippie.com

MAVOURNEEN

Friday, January 26, 2007 2:02 PM

DTH, forget about the astronauts and cavemen. We've moved onto insurance salesmen vs bankers.

(I was initially wondering if the astronaut was in his full "Astro suit" myself-)

PUMAMANREDUX

Friday, January 26, 2007 2:06 PM

The pirates ... definately the pirates .....

MAVOURNEEN

Friday, January 26, 2007 2:08 PM

oh, no you don't Pumaman. This is NOT turning into a pirate/penguin/hippie(sorry DTH)/ninja thread that you can just come in here and have your way with!!!

This is an open, honest discussion about bankers versus insurance men! Tristan, get in here and tell them how incredibly mean and nasty you would be in a fight!

CITIZEN

Friday, January 26, 2007 2:12 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Mavourneen:
Yes, a banker would change things, wouldn't it?

But what if Tristan has a term life policy in one hand, and a whole life policy in the other and was waving them about trying to explain the difference?

What if the Banker had a fixed rate Mortgage in one hand and a variable rate Mortgage in the other?

More insane ramblings by the people who brought you beeeer milkshakes!
No one can see their reflection in running water. It is only in still water that we can see.

MAVOURNEEN

Friday, January 26, 2007 2:19 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by citizen:
Quote:
Originally posted by Mavourneen:
Yes, a banker would change things, wouldn't it?

But what if Tristan has a term life policy in one hand, and a whole life policy in the other and was waving them about trying to explain the difference?
What if the Banker had a fixed rate Mortgage in one hand and a variable rate Mortgage in the other?

I would say:

a) It would be a war of attrition.

b) The banker has poor sportsmanship. Two mortgages side by side, versus life insurance. Think of the paperwork, citizen! Someone must think of the paperwork!

PENGUIN

Friday, January 26, 2007 2:21 PM

Paper cuts! Think of the paper cuts!!

King of the Mythical Land that is Iowa

CITIZEN

Friday, January 26, 2007 2:30 PM

I'm going through the process of applying for mortgages right now. Believe me, I've thought of the paperwork...

More insane ramblings by the people who brought you beeeer milkshakes!
No one can see their reflection in running water. It is only in still water that we can see.

RIVER6213

Sunday, February 4, 2007 4:37 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by MrBlueSun:
Just for fun.
Let the flame war commence.
Just so you know my money is on the Cavemen.

"If nothing we do matters, then all that matters is what we do"

It would depend on what enviroment they were in. If the astronauts and the cavemen were in the middle of a city when they fought then the astronauts would have the advantage, but if it was out in the woods I suspect the cavemen would beat the tar out of the astronauts.

-River

BSCPANTHERFAN

Sunday, February 4, 2007 4:45 PM

I agree. If they were in an environment they were familiar with, either group would have the advantage. However, if they were in a neutral environment, I have to give the edge to the cavemen, because the astronauts would tend to overthink the issue, whereas the cavemen would simply start breaking heads.

As to the insurance vs. bankers issue, what kind of bankers are you talking about. If it's regular bankers, I go with the insurance guys. If it's credit card bankers, I go with them. They can be really nasty. I ought to know, I'm a loan shark by trade, and I don't like to deal with them!

So who is he?
He's my husband.
Well who in the damn galaxy ain't!

DAVESHAYNE

Sunday, February 4, 2007 4:55 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by citizen:
What if the Banker had a fixed rate Mortgage in one hand and a variable rate Mortgage in the other?

In this scenario is the prime rate expected to trend upwards, downwards, or remain relatively static?

David

"Not completely as well as the series of Firefly..." - From a review of Serenity at amazon.de

REDLAVA

Sunday, February 4, 2007 5:05 PM

Doesn't matter. An accountant would come in and start talking tax law put them both to a coma and beat the tar out of them while they slept.

DAVESHAYNE

Sunday, February 4, 2007 5:55 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Redlava:
An accountant would come in

I can see the accountant making it past the reception desk but no way is he gonna be able to evade the appointments secretary and the administrative assistant.

David

"Not completely as well as the series of Firefly..." - From a review of Serenity at amazon.de

FIZZIX

Sunday, February 4, 2007 6:15 PM

The real answer is Me: a teenaged girl sitting at home at her computer desk with the whole of teh internet at her command. I am QUEEN of the multi-tasking multiple-window tabbed browsing experience! And that's ignoring my tendency to have AIM windows up and defrag my computer.

But... honestly....

It'd be the pirate zepplin. >.<

Or the IRS, bastards that they are.
What business does a 15 year old girl need tax return documents for!?

/|\/|\/|\/|\/|\/|\/|\/|\/|\/|\/|\/|\/|\/|\/|\
May not be smart, and it may not please you, but you're definitely gonna see what I have to say.

IMPERATODD

Saturday, February 24, 2007 4:52 AM

Being a banker myself we are tax trained, and can get around the tax law boringness, we have federal regulation miles thick dating for the depression. One of the lesser known federal banking regulations is the deposit hold!!!!! A useful tool to protect consumers but a little abstract for some. If the hold isn't enough we have more, Patriot Act, auth holds and the list goes on. Gotta say though I love my job.

As for astronauts and cavemen, I put my money on the astronaut, they created the slayer right?

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

Were I an Alliance citizen during the War of Unification I would have been an Alliance Patriot, but I would have run guns for the Browncoats. No I am not a greedy baby eating monster! Gunrunning would have been the patriotic thing to do.

Governments have a way of warping ideals.

NEWOLDBROWNCOAT

Saturday, February 24, 2007 6:12 PM

Dunno about the cavemen , but watch out for the apes. They almost got Charlton Heston. 'Course they had guns, and his Second Amendment rights had been compromised...

INDIGOSTARBLASTER

Wednesday, April 4, 2007 8:19 PM

Umm... wouldn't it depend what they were fighting for?

'Cause I'm trying to picture this... say, bunch of time-traveling astronauts go back in time, land, go exploring, and find themselves surrounded by cavemen. I don't think that either group is going to be thinking, "My God, it's a fight to the death!"

In this scenario, the astronauts would just want to get back in their spaceship. And the cavemen would want the intruders to leave the territory. So the astronauts would retreat back to the alarmingly new metal hill that has appeared on the landscape, with the cavemen making threatening gestures the entire time. If it took a little while before the astronauts could get back in the ship, maybe one or two of each side would get killed as tensions escalated. But once the astronauts got back into their ship, both sides would consider it a win.

If we're talking about dropping a bunch of astronauts and a bunch of cavemen into some space aliens' boxing ring, a la the Triskelions (if I remember my original Star Trek), the astronauts would almost certainly be familiar with this science fiction trope and understand what was expected of them, whereas the cavemen would be disoriented and maybe too disheartened to fight. Result: the astronauts would win.

And if we're talking about dropping a bunch of astronauts squarely into cavemen territory, with the cavemen knowing every inch of their territory and a strong inclination to defend it, and no place for the astronauts to retreat to or real plan other than not dying, well... cavemen, I'd say.

Or am I overthinking this? :)

Indigo S.

FREMDFIRMA

Wednesday, April 4, 2007 8:30 PM

*Steps in and bashes Indigo over the head with a club while he's thinking it over*

ZUG-ZUG!!

INDIGOSTARBLASTER

Wednesday, April 11, 2007 7:36 PM

Hey now -- if you're talking cavemen versus paper-pushers like me, no contest. Cavemen win :)

Indigo S.

RIVERFLAN

Monday, September 17, 2007 2:35 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by PumamanRedux:
The pirates ... definately the pirates .....

The pirates against who? Pirates vs. astronauts, I'd say the pirates: Astronaut is trying to say "I come in peace" and the pirate is smelling "I want to turn you in", and them pulls the gun out and shoots the astronaut square in the chest. (I'm thinking specifically of Jack Sparrow, from Pirates of the Carribean)

Pirates against cavemen, well, I'd say cavemen: They have superior numbers, and the pirate would run out of bullets.

So, given that, I say cavemen win overall.

"The human body can be drained of blood in 8.6 seconds, given adequate vaccuuming systems." -River

"It's just an object. It doesn't mean what you think -River

Bwaa!

JAYNEZTOWN

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JAYNEZTOWN

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