Take Turns Writing: "The Hippie and his Shotgun"

POSTED BY: Succatash
UPDATED: Friday, April 30, 2004 05:24
VIEWED: 17558
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SUCCATASH

Thursday, March 11, 2004 7:49 AM

Hi Browncoats. Take turns writing "The Hippie and his Shotgun" !!! It's so fun!

-------------------------------------------------
The Hippie and his Shotgun

Once upon a time, there was an old hippie who lived alone in a trailer on the outskirts of town. He drove his beat up VW bus into the village every week to buy food and supplies, but otherwise he kept to himself.

One day, the old hippie went to the General Store. He walked in and was greeted by the shopkeeper.

"Hi there!" said the shopkeeper. But the hippie just mumbled and didn't make eye contact.

The shopkeeper coughed nervously. "May I help you?" he asked.

"I need a shotgun. I want to buy a shotgun." said the old hippie.

The shopkeeper smiled knowingly. "May I suggest the Wahlmert 45 Special? That will be 80 dollars please."

The old hippie nodded, and then raised two fingers to his lips and whistled loudly. Instantly, several large Pit Bulls ran into the store. Each dog carried a large bag of coins in its mighty jaws.

The hippie fondly petted his beloved creatures. He gently collected the bags of copper, then stood and spilled the pennies onto the counter.

The shopkeeper gasped at all the pennies. "Will that be paper or plastic?" he asked in admiration.

The hippie's smile vanished and he grunted in reply. He grabbed the shotgun and walked away. The dogs followed.

"Wait!" cried the shopkeeper. "We need to do a background check!"

The old hippie paused and slowly turned. One of the dogs began to growl. The shopkeeper gulped in fear.

VERY IMPORTANT! YOU MUST LISTEN TO THIS SONG AND READ AT THE SAME TIME!
http://www.strangefinger.com/song.mp3

SPOOKYJESUS

Thursday, March 11, 2004 10:25 AM

The Hippi scratched his beard, rolled his eyes and pulled a massive joint out from under his poncho.

As he sparked it he looked his prized pit bull square in the eyes and grumbled something deep and throaty.

The pit bull seemed to nod in understanding before he moved over to the shop keeper, lifted his leg and urinated all over the shop keeper's shiny new shoes.

"I don't keep any bitchs - so, I'm sure you can imagine that my boys here are plenty restless..... dude", the Hippi choked out under rings of smoke.

"Now I'm walking out this door with this gun and your staying right up against that wall", the Hippi stopped to take another drag and admire how big his hands are - "and if you don't like that, well, my boys can take there frustrations out on you."

The shopkeeper suddenly became aware that all the pitbulls were panting in unison.

SUCCATASH

Friday, March 12, 2004 7:03 AM

They were interrupted by two men wearing long trenchcoats, who suddenly entered the store. The strange men pulled out guns and shot all of the dogs. One of them ordered, "Nobody move! This is a stick up!"

The old hippie made no move. His right eye twitched slightly.

The shopkeeper whimpered and shook. "Take my money, but please don't kill me!" he begged.

"Shut up!" yelled one of the robbers. His skin was very pale, and dark veins bulged beneath his eyelids.

A door suddenly opened behind the shopkeeper. A beautiful young woman entered, singing a happy song. She wore a butcher's smock, and it was stained with fresh blood.

"La la la," she sang, then she gazed in shock at the scene before her. "Father!" she cried, "What is happening!"

She ran towards the shopkeeper, but the pale-faced robber grabbed her roughly and shoved her down onto her knees.

"No!" cried the shopkeeper. He lunged wildy towards his daughter.

"BANG!"

Suddenly, blood spouted from the shopkeeper's chest. He crumpled to the floor with a surprised look on his face. The pale-faced robber blew on his smoking gun, and smiled.

"Daddy!" screamed the woman. She crawled frantically towards her dying father and clutched him to her chest crying hysterically. The color of her smock turned a deeper red.

The pale-faced robber smiled at his partner. Then his expression turned to shock as his partner's head suddenly exploded.

"Get away from the girl," the old hippie grunted. He cocked his shotgun. "Or I'll be forced to shoot again."

"You killed my partner!" sobbed the pale-faced robber. He suddenly grabbed the woman, and shoved her across the room. Spying an open window, the pale-faced robber jumped through it and escaped.

The hippie knelt and put his arms around the young woman. He said nothing, and she sobbed for hours.

Finally, she stopped crying and spoke, "You saved my life, but my father is dead, and now I have nothing. You must take me with you."

EBONEZER

Saturday, March 13, 2004 7:25 AM

The Hippi nodded and threw the girl over his shoulder. He scooped up his dead dogs and left the store.

"So," the girl asked as she got into the bug, "What's you name?"

He grunted.

"Oh um, well. Nice car."

He grunted again.

"My names Ebonezer."

He raised an eyebrow.

"I was recently freed from the mind of a head in a jar."

He sratched his nose.

The rode in silence for the rest of the ride to the trailer. But there was no trailer. Instead there was a chared smudge on the ground.

"What are we going to do?" Ebonezer asked.

The Hippi gathered some climbing rope and an old weastern saddle, his only world possesions that he cared about. Well, besides his dogs, but they were dead. And the shotgun, that was cool, but it hadn't quite gotten any sentimental value yet.

They got back in the car and started driving north.

"Where are we going?" Ebo asked.

He spoke for the first time, "Into the sunset."

Ebo looked around, "But that sunset is that way, West."

-----

HA! i made me a charchter, and it's not stuck in someones head. HA!

DYAIRVATREE

Saturday, March 13, 2004 7:42 AM

Ebo looked around,"But the sunset is that way west."

The hippi scratched his chin, took the pre-rolled cigrarette out from behind his ear lit it and took a deep drag looked thoughtfull for a moment and said.

"Not the way were going."

SOUTHERNMERC

Saturday, March 13, 2004 5:39 PM

Ebo nodded silently, somewhat wide-eyed and confused.

The terrain passed by the quickly, the old bus making small clouds of dust as it sped down the dusty highway. Evening painted the landscape a deep amber before Ebo spoke again.

"Just how far are we traveling today?" She indicated the darkening landscape with a thrust of her slight chin. "Getting dark out."

The Hippie glanced at her, taking her in for the first time. Short-cropped black hair, with a single thin pig-tail dangling from the base of her skull, called attention to her pale face. Her deep-set, fatigue shadowed eyes were a pale, ice blue color. Her nose, smeared as it was with the blood of animals and her father, was small and what could be described as "cute". The part that caught his attention the most, and firmly placed her in the beautiful category in his opinion, was her mouth. It wasn't pouty, big lipped, or full like the Hollywood people seemed to love. It was actually small and thin, possessing the interesting quality of pressing in on themselves when she bit into them in thought, like now, but not disappearing nor losing their ephemeral appeal. He couldn't place exactly what it was that made her mouth that attractive, but the Hippie didn't exactly care either. He accepted her beauty. And the fact that her eyes, still holding the remnants of burning tears, didn't lose their focus on the world. She wasn't lost in the surroundings, like many who drive in a car for long journeys, she was absorbing it and studying it.

His only response, since he still wasn't quite ready to speak with another person on their terms, was a simple grunt followed by the pulling of the switch for the headlamps.

The fading sun washed the interior of the bus the same hue as the outside world, hiding the rust, dirt, and the bloodstains that were now the defining qualities of the vehicles passenger compartment.

The sun set, as it was wont to do, and the road whisked underneath the headlamps, blurring as it approached and passed. The woman, with the odd sobriquet of Ebonezer, finally slipped into a fitful sleep, leaving the Hippie alone for a time.

The bus sped on into the clear, star-filled desert night.

EBONEZER

Sunday, March 14, 2004 1:47 AM

Ebonezer snapped awake as cold metal pressed agsint her arm. She realized that they were sitting in a parking lot outside a large bank. Then she realized that the cold metal pressing against her arm was the buisness end of the Hippi's shotgun.

"Are you going to kill me?" she asked wide eyed. The hippi shook his head and gestured with the shotgun at the bank.

"You going to kill the bank?"

He shook his head, "Gonna rob it."

Ebo's jaw dropped, "Rob it? Why?"

"Gun needs sentimental value."

"Couldn't it get sentimental value from shooting some cans or something?"

He shook his head "Nope. Besides, I'm hungry. This bank has a grocery store in side."

"Why would a bank have a grocery store?"

"Why would a grocery store have a bank?"

Ebo looked at him with confusion. He paid no attention.

"Your driving the getaway car," he said then saunterd into the bank.

Ebo started to protest but he was already inside.

She clammored over into the drivers seat and realized that indead of a key there was a knife stuck into the ignition. She turned it and the old VW roared to life. A few munutes later the Hippi came running out carrying a sack of money and a paper bag with some french bread sticking out the top. He jumped in and yelled, "Drive!"

Ebo reached to put the bus into drive and suddenly realized that it was a maunual transmission...This was not good.

TEELABROWN

Tuesday, March 16, 2004 12:31 AM

"How do you use manual transmission?"

"Why don't you know?"

"Cars are automatic now."

"Jeez. Okay, just do what I say..." The Hippie coached her on how to use it until they were far enough away to switch seats. They kept driving. On the side of the road was a young woman, sitting on a suitcase. She was in fairly loose (But not revealing) clam-diggers (capris) and a loose shirt (Again, not revealing).

"Should we stop?" Ebo asked.

"Why?"

"Cause I said so."

"Fine." The car stopped. "Need a ride?" asked the Hippie.

"Oh. Thanks for stopping."

"Thank her." Ebo waved.

"Okay. Well, I'm Teela Brown, but you can call me Teela B."

"Welcome!" Ebonezer said. The Hippie grunted.

_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2+2 makes 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

EBONEZER

Tuesday, March 16, 2004 2:25 AM

Teela threw the suitcase in the back and arranged herself on top of the old weastern saddle.

Ebo offered her hand, "Ebonezer, but that takes a while to type, er, say. So Ebo works, or Ebony, or M (don't ask)...or hey stupid! i get that a lot." Eb-m-stu grinned.

Teela shook her hand then asked, "Whats your name?" of the old hippie.

He grunted.

Ebony leaned in and whispered, "He's not big on talking. I've been with him a good 24 hours and he still hasn't told me his name."

"Oh, I see...so, what have you done so far today?" Teela asked trying to make conversation.

"I learned how to drive a stick shift!" Ebo thought a moment then added, "And crime. We did that too."

"Crime?"

Ebony nodded eagearly, "Yeah! We robbed a bank and a grocery store, all in one step."

"How, er, conveineant?" Teela wasn't sure how to react to this in polite conversation.

Ebo started digging around in the brown paper bag, "Want some food? We got, um," she scartched her head, "Thirty varities of cheeze? Didn't you get anything else?"

"Bread" the hippie said, gesturing at the stick of bread hanging out the bag, "and smoked anchovies in a light lemon sauce."

TEELABROWN

Tuesday, March 16, 2004 2:38 AM

"Fondue, anyone?" Teela asked.

"Is there a stove?" Eb-m-stu asked.

"It's under the saddle."

"So, you can cook?"

"A little."

Teela cooked and cooked. "Fondue's on!"

Ebo tried the fondue. "This must be the best meal I've had!"

"Why thank you."

The car kept driving.

_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2+2 makes 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

EBONEZER

Tuesday, March 16, 2004 2:49 AM

The hippie scratched his head, and worked his mouth, like he was going to say something. Ebony and Teela leaned forward in anticipation.

After a long while he finaly said, "Is fondue really a meal? I thought it was sugar or some such thing."

Ebo shrugged, "Beats me. I'm not entirely sure what it is my own self. It's good though!"

Teela looked around the old van, It seemed much bigger on the inside then it looked from the outside. She saw (besides the saddle, climbing rope, and stove) exactly three large duffle bags, a small phone, a map of florida, 8 broken sunglasses, a tent, an old army cot, another stove, three marbles, an emmey award, 4 rubber ducks, a first aid kit, a bag of gold coins and she lost count of the number of forks there were scatterd about.

Suddenly there was a large jolt and a bang followed by a fwapfwapfwapfwapfwapfwapfwap sound.

"Tires busted," the hippie said and pulled the car over to the side of the road.

SUCCATASH

Tuesday, March 16, 2004 3:56 AM

The small group decided to set up camp by the side of the road. Teela gathered wood while Ebo went and bathed in the nearby river.

Ebo splashed playfully in the water. She ducked and swam like otter. But when she came up for air, she nearly bumped into the Hippie. He was swimming naked beside her.

Ebo shrieked, "God Damn!" But the hippie just grinned and dove under the water.

Meanwhile, Teela set up the gas grill and began to prepare supper. She muttered, "I hate gathering wood."

The strange song began once again:
http://www.strangefinger.com/song.mp3

RKLENSETH

Tuesday, March 16, 2004 5:10 AM

The hippie's head shoots out of the water.

"Where in bloody hell is that music coming?" He yells.

Music stops...

Oh, and play Cantr II at www.cantr.net.

EBONEZER

Tuesday, March 16, 2004 5:34 AM

After her bath Ebo came and stood next to Teela by the camp fire. They looked out over the slightly rolling hills of grass.

Ebo sipped at some black granny coffee, "Do you think we should bring the cattle in?"

"What?"

Ebo shrugged, "It seemed like the apropriate thing to say, with that song and all..." she trailed off.

The Hippie cam back into camp, this time fully clothed. He sat down, leaning against his old saddle and poked at the fire.

They ate some really good smoked salmon from the store, but decided it didn;t really seem authentic so they burned it to a crisp, but then it didn't taste good so in the end they had some fried lizard that the Hippie had caught spread accoss cheeze.

GEEZER

Tuesday, March 16, 2004 4:52 PM

Dinner over, they took their plates down to the river and threw them in. They could steal some more tommorow.

The Hippie sat down and began to disassemble the shotgun. "Gonna clean it?" Teela asked, but got no reply.

Taking the barrel, the Hippie inserted a strange plug in the breech end. It had two holes, one holding a small brass pipebowl, and the other a surgical rubber hose. He filled the bowl with a dried green herb, and lit it with an ancient Zippo. Pinching the hose shut, he drew the strangely pungent smoke into the barrel, then released the hose and took a deep breath. Ebo, who had never seen anyone shotgun a shotgun, stared in amazement.

"Wanna toke?" said the Hippie in a high squeaky voice, holding the barrel out to the two women. "My own stash, best oregano in the state."

"Keep the Shiny side up"

TEELABROWN

Wednesday, March 17, 2004 3:33 AM

"You're somking oregano?" Ebo and Teela said in unison.

"Yeah." the Hippie said in that squeaky voice.

"Okay..." Ebo said.

"It sounds wierd, so let me try." She took a puff and coughed. "Jeez, that's horrible!"

Ebo tried. "Doesn't seem that bad..."

"You're both psychotic!" Teela replied, then went and got some water.

_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2+2 makes 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

SUCCATASH

Wednesday, March 17, 2004 4:02 AM

After a while, the Hippie pulled out his guitar and began strumming. Teela began to sing, and Ebo banged two stones together. This went on for some time.

EBONEZER

Wednesday, March 17, 2004 4:11 AM

The Very Important Historian climed out of a large dufflebag.

"Hello. I am the Very Important Historian," He said.

Teela mumbled something about redundant.

"I come in when the story get's borring or has no place to go. Sometimes, i say funny things. Unfortunatly, my writer has the day off and the position has been temporarily taken over by somebody else. So don't expect any humor.

"At this point in the story our 'fearless' tro are camped out underthe stars because the tire has blown out..."

A firestone tire rolls through the campgroung and falls over.

"...they are smoking oregono."

Ebo mumbles something about lights and salmon dancing in the basketball.

"Thats about it," the VIP sighed.

"Hey look what I found," Teela said, bringing a flat basketball with a fish and some cristmas lights lying inside.

The VIP started climbing back into his bag. "You all missed a smashing good cricket game," he said before zipping himself up.

SUCCATASH

Wednesday, March 17, 2004 5:53 AM

The Hippie stared in silence during the Historian's speech. He sighed and stood up. Pulling out a coin, the Hippie flipped it high into the air. The shiny copper landed on his chubby palm, head facing up.

The Hippie shrugged and pulled out his shotgun. He unzipped the duffel bag pulled out the Important Historian.

"Well...hello" stammered the Historian.

Teela screamed as she watched the Hippie shoot the Historian about 50 times.

When it was all over, Teela kept screaming.

"Aghhhhhhhh!"

The hippie calmy dragged the body of the Historian into the river.

From the shadows, Ebo vowed never to swim in the river ever again.

EBONEZER

Wednesday, March 17, 2004 5:55 AM

Ebo was also very depressed because the Hippie had just killed her favorite historian...

SUCCATASH

Wednesday, March 17, 2004 5:57 AM

In a rage, Ebo ran at the old Hippie and began punching him. "You suck!" she yelled.

The Hippie looked confused and also very scared. He turned and ran away and disappeared.

Teela turned to Ebo and said, "Now what do we do?"

MANIACNUMBERONE

Wednesday, March 17, 2004 9:23 AM

I have nothing to add to this story right now.

-------------------------------------------
Inara: Who's winning?
Simon: I can't really tell, they don't seem to be playing by any civilized rules that I know.
-------------------------------------------

WREN

Wednesday, March 17, 2004 9:45 AM

A mail van arrived. The mail man got out and said, "I'v got a letter here, for some bloke called Ebonezer."

Losing complete control Ebo screamed, "I am a girl dammit." Then she hurled herself at the mail man.

AJ

Wednesday, March 17, 2004 10:00 AM

"I'm sorry," said the bemused mailman, "but I don't provide those kinds of services. More than my job's worth, you see."

"It's the uniform," announced a shadow by the clearing's edge, before flitting away into the night.

TEELABROWN

Wednesday, March 17, 2004 1:23 PM

"No mail for me? Well, at least there's some routine to my life." Teela said.

_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2+2 makes 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

EBONEZER

Thursday, March 18, 2004 1:29 AM

Ebo shook the envalope.

Teela rolled her eyes, "Its too small for a time bomb, dear," she said.

Ebo tore open the envalope and a white powedery substance fell out.

Instantly a Haz-Mat team all decked out in those funny white moon suits sppeared and gathered the powder up, spreayed Teela and Ebo down with water, gave them a shot, incinerated the envalope, spreyed the letter inside down with water, handed the letter to Ebo and dissapeared into the night.

Ebo held the soggy paper limply in her hands. The writing was indecipherable from water damage but she was just able to make out the return address:

Succatash
69 Sunset St.
Nowhere Special, NV 95584

The hippie slowly emerged from the bushes, clutiching his shotgun.

Ebo pointed at the address, "I wanna go here," she announced.

"You wanna go see somebody who just sent you an unknown white powder?" Teela asked in confusion

Ebo nodded, then looked to the Hippie, who shrugged and said, "In the mornin, if i can fix that flat."

SUCCATASH

Friday, March 19, 2004 4:28 AM

In the morning, Teela rolled over and yawned, smiling. She was snug and warm. Her hands were between two pillows.

"Hey!" muttered Eboneezer. They both quickly woke up, startled and embarrassed.

The guilt quickly passed, as soon as they realized the Hippie and his truck were gone. They were all alone.

"We're all alone! The Hippie left us!" cried Teela.

"At least we have each other." said Ebo. She put her arm around Teela and gave her a squeeze. She continued, "We have our friendship, and our courage. Let's go find Succatash." She glanced at the address written on the weathered piece of paper.

They started to walk. They eventually passed a sign that said, "Next town, 5 Miles."

After a short while, the pair of dirty and dusty females walked into the small town. Teela spied a tavern and commented on her dry throat. Ebo obliged, and together they pushed through the swinging doors and entered the saloon.

Instantly, the piano music stopped and everyone in the bar turned and stared at the newcomers.

EBONEZER

Friday, March 19, 2004 4:41 AM

They heard the sound of a plane, then a train, and an aoutomoble go by.

The bar remained silet. Suddenly a man dressed in black pushed past them into the bar and began shooting.

Ebo and Teela jumped behind the bar then feel asleep because ebo got tired to typing.

SUCCATASH

Friday, March 19, 2004 5:05 AM

But it was hopeless. The man in black shot everyone. Ebo was shot 42 times, but Teela somehow got by with a scratch.

After the man left, Teela sobbed and held Ebo in her arms.

Ebo whispered, "Leave me. I'll be alright."

Teela ran out of the bar, shrieking. Meanwhile, Ebo gasped a dying breath and slowly reached into her pocket. She pulled out a bottle of green liquid and began to drink.

Miraculously, Ebo's health was restored. The bullet holes closed, and her pale skin became normal and flush.

Her eyes seemed a bit distant, but Ebo climbed to her feet and walked out into the road. She was all better! It was a miracle, indeed.

Ebo stood wonderously in the road, glad to be alive. She felt so strong! She found Teela's footprints and began to follow her only friend. Ebo realized that Teela must think she was dead.

In haste, she began to run after Teela. I will find you, Teela!" Ebo cried.

EBONEZER

Friday, March 19, 2004 11:40 PM

Ebo made it about 30 feet before leaning over and gasping for breath. Running really wasn't her strong point. So she stole a car, and was very greatful that the Hippie had given her a lesson on how to drive a stick.

So she drove yelling, "Teela! Teela where are you?!" out the window.

MANIACNUMBERONE

Saturday, March 20, 2004 9:18 AM

That was when Ebo spotted the Hippie. The Hippie was down a very skinny alley, next to a dumpster... and he had Teela! But she wasn't struggling.

WREN

Saturday, March 20, 2004 11:57 AM

Instead they seemed to be talking together. Ebo listened hard and made out part of what was being said.

"....you haven't told her yet?" asked Teela.

"Shes just a kid," responded the Hippie.

"Yeah, but she's your....." At that point Ebo's arm slipped and she pressed the car horn. The noise made Teela and the Hippie jump. They stare in a guilty fashion at Ebo.

TEELABROWN

Sunday, March 21, 2004 2:56 AM

"I'm your cousin?" Ebo said after they had sat down on some left over peach crates. "And you didn't tell me because I was a kid? I'm a young woman! I can handle it!"

"But yet you're reacting way too much right now." the Hippie replied.

_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2 plus 2 make 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

SUCCATASH

Sunday, March 21, 2004 3:20 AM

"Sorry, you're not my cousin. It's a lot more complicated than that," the Hippie said gravely.

He reached behind his back and pulled out a photo album. He slowly handed it to Ebo. She gasped in surprise as she saw hundreds of photographs of herself. But she didn't remember being in a lot of these places. And in every picture she appeared to be the same age.

"These are not photos of you, Ebo." The Hippie said. These are pictures of all my other robots."

Ebo stared in horror and whispered, "I'm a robot?"

"Yes," answered the Hippie. He continued, "Your memory has been erased. You think you are Ebonezer, but you are actually my robot slave. Sorry to break it to you. It sucks, I know."

TEELABROWN

Tuesday, March 23, 2004 2:24 PM

Robo-Ebo exploded (figurativly). "Why does it suck for you?! I'm the robot slave here! Not you!"

"Shh, my dear." Teela said. She thought to her self: That explains why she's still alive. "Ebo, honey, so far you really haven't obeyd him that much. There could be hope." Teela gave a half-smile.

_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2 plus 2 make 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

EBONEZER

Wednesday, March 24, 2004 4:25 AM

Ebo gasped, "Thats why i have distant memories of a guy nammed Jeremy, and," She gasped again, "Teela! Thats why i feel like i know you from before!"

"Huh?" the hippie grunted, "I'm missing something here."

Teela siged, "Yes I think you are. But thats ok, somehow I get the idea that nobody understands her."

"Don't you understand her?"

Teela shook her head, "Not so much."

"Hey! I have an idea!" Ebo shouted, "We should go to the beach and have a snowball fight!" She started skipping off down the road.

"That," Teela said, standing up, "Don't even ask me to explain that."

Teela and the Hippie started trudging down the road after Ebo.

TEELABROWN

Wednesday, March 24, 2004 4:02 PM

"Ebo, remind me again why a beach would have snow." Teela tol Ebo.

"You see, the beach sees the universe as a collection of ones and zeros." Ebo replied.

"Okay. Now remind me what ones and zeros have to do with the beach. And weren't we going to find Tash first?"

"Binary, Teela, binary."

"No offense, but I'm not a robot."

"Jeez."

_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2 plus 2 make 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

EBONEZER

Thursday, March 25, 2004 2:48 AM

Suddenly Ebo's foot caught on a crack in yhe road and she fell to the ground.

"Look a penny!" she shouted, picking it up, "and its so shinny." She held it out and arms lenght and started at honest Abe's head for a while, moving her head around to look at it from differnt angles, "Everywhere i go...his eyes follow me..."

The hippie snatched the penny away and threw it down the road, "Will you stop bei-"

He was inturepted by the incredible loud sound of the sky falling.

A few minutes later the three of them stood among bits and pices of sky and looked at where the sky used to be. They saw large letters written across the ex-sky, "Free fish tuesdays!"

SUCCATASH

Thursday, March 25, 2004 3:03 AM

"CUT!" the director yelled. "Everyone take five!"

The people on stage smiled and hugged and headed towards the water cooler.

TEELABROWN

Thursday, March 25, 2004 5:33 AM

Behind the Scenes:

"These roles get weirder and weirder. Wonder what'll happen next."

"Yeah. Will Yossarain show up?"

"Ah, he might. I'm not clairvoyant. But I'll try."

The director yells: "Five's up! Back on set!"

_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2 plus 2 make 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

TEELABROWN

Thursday, March 25, 2004 7:35 PM

*Back into acting*

A voice in Teela's head spoke up. "That Ebo kid is vaguely familiar..."

"I've never seen her before." Teela silently replied.

"Yes, but she is familiar, you must grant me that much."

"Yossarian, I don't have to grant you anything!" She said that out loud. "Oh. Oops..."

"Who the hell's Yossarian?" The Hippie grunted.

"Yeah. You're the sane one, aren't you?"

"Well, you see, Yossarian is a character from Catch-22. Yes."

*Blank stares*

"Okay, I'll explain..."

_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2 plus 2 make 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

WREN

Thursday, March 25, 2004 8:03 PM

"...and that is why I am the luckiest girl in the universe," finished Teela, a long and rather rambling while later.

Ebo continued to give Teela a blank stare. The Hippie was snoring loudly.

"Oh just forget it", said Teela, "can we please get back to tracking down Tash before things get even crazier."

They woke the Hippie up, flagged down a passing jumbo and a short time later landed at Nowhere Special airport.

At customs they saw an official approaching. Teela turned to ask the Hippie what they should do, but he had disappeared.

"Please follow me," said the official. He escorted them to a grey coloured room. It contained a table and three chairs. Turning Teela and Ebo saw that the official was now wearing blue latex gloves.

TEELABROWN

Friday, March 26, 2004 2:14 AM

Ebo pipes up: "Is anyone besides me find something unerving about blue gloves?"

"Yes...I wonder why..."

_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2 plus 2 make 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

EBONEZER

Friday, March 26, 2004 4:04 AM

They sat down at a table in corner near the door.

Finding nothing to talk about they amused themselves by looking at stains on the ceiling. Teela suddnly pushed his ear against the wall.

Ebo cocked an eyebrow at her.

"What can you hear?" Ebo.

"A raidio, its saying something about..." she paused and listend, "...Reavers?"

TEELABROWN

Friday, March 26, 2004 3:59 PM

Ebo got a horrified look on her face.

"What's wrong? What are Reavers?"

"I-I guess I don't know. How odd, I'm terrified of them for some reason."

"Okay...wait, Reaver can be another name for Death. One who reaves souls. Hmm...odd..."

_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2 plus 2 make 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

TEELABROWN

Sunday, March 28, 2004 3:24 AM

"That must be why I appear terrified. Reaver of Souls, eh? Very...poetical...and informative...you know too much." Ebo half-wondered aloud.

"I hear that about everyday, Ebo."

_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2 plus 2 make 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

SUCCATASH

Sunday, March 28, 2004 3:53 AM

Suddenly, there was a scratching sound at the door. Teela clutched tightly to Ebo in fear.

The bolt slid free and the door opened. The Hippie peered into the room. He smiled and raised a finger to his lips.

"Sshhhh!" he said.

Teela stifled a giggle and Ebo gasped. Silently, the Hippie gestured for the girls to follow. The three of them began sneaking down the empty corrider towards freedom.

EBONEZER

Sunday, March 28, 2004 6:07 AM

Ebo nudged Teela, "I notice that were edging towards freedom."

Teela nodded.

"I din't realize we were caught."

Teela sighed, "Don't you pay attention to anything we do?"

"Hey!" Ebo suddenly realized, "Were edging towards freedom!"

SUCCATASH

Sunday, March 28, 2004 6:25 AM

Suddenly a big man appeared and began shouting things.

TEELABROWN

Sunday, March 28, 2004 1:56 PM

"Do you know what he's saying?" Ebo asked.

"Nope." grunted the Hippie.

Teela was just looking at him. "Bi zui, tamade."

The man immeadiatly shut up more from suprise than actual obeying.

"What's he speaking?" Ebo asked.

"Mandarin. I know a few phrases."

"What'd you tell him?"

"To shut up."

Teela started talking to the man again.

"Ni mei shi ba?"

"Zhe bing bu huai."

"She me."

The Hippie and Ebo just stared. Teela continued talking.

"Do you know English?"

"A little."

"Okay. Will you come with us?"

"Okay."

So, the four started going down the hallway.

_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2 plus 2 make 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

SUCCATASH

Sunday, March 28, 2004 6:44 PM

They finally came to a door. The Hippie and the Big Man looked nervously at each other.

"Should we open the door?" asked Teela.

"Sure, let's get out of here," answered Ebo.

Ebo pushed the door open and they found themselves in an alley. A giant limosine waited in the alley. It was empty.

The Big Man smiled and pulled some car keys from his pocket.

"Hey, that's your car?" asked Teela. "Wow, let's go for a ride!"

So, they all piled into the back of the limo, and the Big Man got behind the wheel and they drove away.

EBONEZER

Sunday, March 28, 2004 8:02 PM

"Hey...um..Big Guy," ebo referred to him as this because he hadn't told his name yet, "Can we go here?" she handed him the slip of paper with Tash's adress on it.

The Big Guy nodded.

Teela opened the sun roof, "I saw this in a TV show once." She stood out the sunroof and started shreiking and lauging. Omunious music began playing. A low hanging over pass loomed in the distance.

Ebo yanked her down. "I saw that too. It was the begening of an episode of six feet under."

The limo stopped in front of a large house. There was a large, well manicured lawn. And the long drivwway was lined with huge trees. There was a pond out back with a large yaht floating in it. The yaht was to big for the pond, and couldn't go anywhere, it was a plaything of the rich.

They started up the drivway, parked, and knocked on the door.

A butler arived at the door and looked down his nose at them.

"yes?"

Ebo spoke up, "We're, uh, looking for Succatash?"

TEELABROWN

Sunday, March 28, 2004 8:37 PM

The butler said: "Oh. Well, I'm Succatash. And you are..."

"I'm Ebonezer. That's Teela Brown. He's the Hippie. And the big one is...well, we don't know his name, we just call him Big Guy."

"Why'd you come?"

"I got a letter full of...some white powder from you. Could you explain?"

"Sure, step inside, won't you?"

_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2 plus 2 make 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

TEELABROWN

Tuesday, March 30, 2004 12:43 AM

"So, why again did you send my the powder?"

"Ebo, he told you three times! Tash, so sorry, but could you say it just one more time?"

"Alright, last time." but Tash beamed that so many people were paying him some attention. "Back in '02..."

_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2 plus 2 make 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

EBONEZER

Tuesday, March 30, 2004 1:51 AM

"wait!" ebo called out stopping him before he started, "I'm confused already...are we talking 2002 or 1902?"

Teela sighed, "does he look like he was around in 1902?"

"He could be like that guy with the picture. you know, The one that ages, but he doesn't?"

Tash groaned, "2002! Can i get on with it now?"

"Look you have a pool!" Ebo shouted, running over to a large sliding glass door looking out over the yard. She pressed her face up against it and left a big smear.

The big guy picked her up and put her in a chair and held her there.

Tash began his story, "Heres the deal. Back in 02 i was really into ecoterrorisim."

"Ecowhat?"

"Ecoterrorisim. Its when you terrorize the people who destroy wilderness, logers and people who build condos and the like. Somebody told me about this cool thing where you mix powdered clorine, like you put in a pool, and this type of hair gel. You put it togther and let it sit and in sponantouslty combusts." he noticed Ebo's confused look, "It catches on fire."

"Cool!"

"So thats what the powder was, clorine. I forgot to add the hair gel."

"wait," Teela held up her hand, "So why'd you send it to Ebo?"

"Her family owns the largest logging company in South America."

"Really?" the Big Guy asked.

Ebo nodded nonchalantly, "Yeah...i felt a little guilty about destroying all the habitats untill my inheretance cheaks started coming."

"How much?" the hippie asked.

Ebo pulled a peice of paper out of her pocket and handed it to the Hippie, "I keep losing count. Too many zeros. Can we do that thing with the hair gel? That sounds like fun."

-----------

Note- that hair gel thing really works. Supposedly anyway. I've never tried it, but i want to!

TEELABROWN

Tuesday, March 30, 2004 2:03 AM

The Big Guy looks at the check. "Tzao gao!"

Teela looked at the check. "Bu ke neng! Wode tian, that's a lot! How often do you get these?"

"Oh, about once a month. But can we try the hair gel and chlorine thing?"

"Bi zui. No, we're not spontaneously combusting anything. How many of these do you have?"

"Lemme do tha math." Ebo was mumbling something. "A few dozen."

"Go-se, you're one of the richest people in the world!"

_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2 plus 2 make 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

EBONEZER

Tuesday, March 30, 2004 2:09 AM

"Cool. Lets go buy some hair gel yes?"

"Have you cashed any of these?" Teela questioned.

"A few of the ones i havn't lost yeah."

"and you spent the money how?"

"Charity. Theres this kid down the street from me who needed a bike. So i bought him two really nice full suspention titanium ones. Then all the other kids wanted one and well, how could i resist?"

"Haven't you ever bought anything for yourself?"

"I bought a pie once," she thought a moment, "and a small island off the coast of mexico. And now were going to buy some hair gel right?"

EBONEZER

Tuesday, March 30, 2004 2:10 AM

And now a brief message from our sponsor.

PLEASE STAY OFF THE GRASS

thank you.

EBONEZER

Thursday, April 1, 2004 12:50 AM

OOC: Where has everybody gotten themselves off to? I guess I'll just add another part myself then...
----------------------------------

"No! No hair gel!" Teela siged.

"Whats this about a small island of the coast of Mexico?" The hippi grunted.

"Its a small island off the coast of mexico. I bought it. What don't you understand?"

"You bought it?"

She nodded, "uh-huh. It even came with a water slide."

"How did you buy an island?"

"E-bay."

"oh right..." he hippi thought a moment, "So who's up for a trip to a small island off the coast of mexico?"

"I didn't buy a boat," Ebo pointed out.

"I'll handle that," the big guy said, "My limo has full aquatic capabilities," he leaned in to Ebo and wispered, "And a fully stocked supply of hair gel."

Ebo squeeled with delight.

TEELABROWN

Saturday, April 3, 2004 1:50 AM

"So, where's the nearest port? And what's the name of the island?" Teela asked.

"Well, the nearest port is...I don't know, who's the navigator?" Ebo rumaged for a map. "Can you read this? I could never use a map."

"So, cartographer isn't your dream job."

"Car-what?"

"Never mind. Now, what's the island's name?"

"Oh, yes. It's Isla Nublar."

"Great. Just wonderful." Teela sighed and leaned back, map shading her eyes.

"Something wrong?" Ebo seemed sort of worried.

"Foolish things. Nothing much. Big Guy- drive, ma shong. Just follow the signs."

Sign: "Nearest port----20 miles."

_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2 plus 2 make 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

EBONEZER

Saturday, April 3, 2004 2:43 AM

"whoo hoo! Port!" Ebo cheered when they found it. She looked around, "Funny, i was expecting more alcohol..."

The Bug Guy pressed a button and big rubber floats inflated around the edge of the limo. They set off into the water, the made it out about a mile past the breakers and sank like a rock.

Ebo looked out the window at the fish swimming by, "Pretty! I want one!" she hit the button and the window started to go down.

The big guy quickly hit the up button on his side and put the windows on Child Saftey lock. After thinking for a moment he locked the doors as well. Then he decided that it might be time to start thinking about this sinking thing that was happening...he didn't remember this as being what was supposed to happen.

TEELABROWN

Sunday, April 4, 2004 2:05 AM

"Hey. Cool. Is this supposed to happen?" Ebo piped up. (Piped is such a cool word!)

"Um, I don't remember. Where's the Manual?"

"Great." Teela said, sarcasm dripping off the word. "I'll find the Manual. Okay, got it. If hovering, go to page 42. Nope. If floating, go to page 222. Sadly, no." Teela kept reading. "No, no, no, sorry, ah ha! Here we are! If sinking, go to page 5,000. Page, page, okay. 'THIS SHOULD NOT BE HAPPENING. PLEASE LEAVE THE VEHICLE.' Hey, look, all caps and underlined. Well, I suppose we should leave the car then. Everyone got a flotation buddy?"

"Yup." Ebo said, grabbing Teela's arm.

The Big Guy got a sad look on his face. "I don't have a buddy."

"I'll be your buddy." Teela said.

"Now I don't have one."

"Sure you do. I'm your buddy, he's my buddy, and your his buddy. Very simple."

The Big Guy was looking out the window. "Sorry to interrupt, but we need to leave."

"Oh. Yes."

They all took a deep breath and opened the door...but the water wasn't coming in...

_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2 plus 2 make 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

TEELABROWN

Monday, April 5, 2004 3:25 AM

Then they noticed the Hippie. "He's still here, isn't he?" said Ebo.

"Apparently." said the Big Guy. "Well, now that we know that, why is the water not rushing in?"

"Good question."

The Hippie grunted: "Do you want it to come in?"

"No."

"Well, there you go."

"Okay then."

_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2 plus 2 make 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

TEELABROWN

Wednesday, April 7, 2004 2:14 AM

*Break from story*

A lone man stands holding a sign: PLEASE REVIVE THE SILLINESS!!!

A woman walks up to him. "What silliness?"

"An RP thread. Like Douglas Adams spread across 5 people."

"Oh, I love Douglas Adams!" The woman runs home and grabs a sign and marker.

Soon, millions started chanting. Who knows what, for all we care it could be "Organleggers!"

*End of break. Have fun*

_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2 plus 2 make 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

EBONEZER

Sunday, April 11, 2004 7:18 PM

OOC: I was gone all week with out DSL! SCARY! But I'm back now, and, er, stuff.

-----------

"What about tash?" Ebo asked. This floatation buddy thing wasn't going so well.
"Tash can be the hippi's buddy."

"I see."

"So why isn't the water coming in?" Tash asked.

"Oh, of course," the big guy slapped his head, "I forgot to turn the child safty lock off." he poised his hand over the button, "Please put all seat backs and tray tables in their upright and locked position. In the unlikly event of a water landing your seat cusions can be used as flotation de-"

"Hey look!" Ebo shouted, inturrupting the Big Guy, "An underwater bubble house thing." she pointed at a underwater house thing, "Its like that old cartoon, Sealab 2020."

Tash spoke up, "Its 2021 now. Cartoon network revised it for adult swim."

Teela sighed, "Were not having fun anymore are we?"

"No."

"Not so much."

"Nope-o"

Ebo pushed her nose against the glass, "Hey look, their having a party at that bubble house thing."

TEELABROWN

Sunday, April 11, 2004 10:20 PM

"A party? Think we can join? I haven't been to a party for a while." Tash wondered.

"Sure, why not?" The Big Guy replied.

"So, let's go."

"Okay then."

"Okay."

"Okay. Going. Bye." Ebo said.

All of them followed her, all deciding that she had the right idea.

Teela, who had a unique swimming style, reached the door. She waited for the others. She gestured "Do we knock?"

Tash shrugged. He knocked. It echoed.

A tall ma-, wom-, well, something opened the door. It gestured to come in. They went in, and took a breath.

"Thanks." all of them breathed, sooner or later.

"Chips?" It asked.

_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2 plus 2 make 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

EBONEZER

Monday, April 12, 2004 2:44 AM

"Yes, please we would love some chips." Ebo said. Everyone nodded in agreement.

The thing offered them a large bowl, it was filled with a a bunch of small, green, plastic things with metal dot's on them.

Teela picked one up and sniffed it, "This is a wierd chip."

Tash examened one, "I think its a computer chip."

The big guy sighed, "Thats not exactly what a had in mind."

Ebo crunched, "Aww, there not so bad," se said through a mouthfull of chips.

"Follow me and you can meet the other guests," the thing said and slopped off down the hall.

The group followed.

"Excuse me everyone," the thing said, "we have some new guests. They come from land."

The other guests said things like, "How nice." and "facinating." and "What i see here in not a negitive occurunce but a potentaily positive learning experiance." Teela made a mental note to avoid that last guy.

They decended a few stairs and entered the large room the other guests greeted them in the (what they assumed) was the costomary fasion by picking them up, tying them to stakes, and setting them on spits to rotate over a fire.

"Dinner will be served shortly," the host thing announced.

"This is a strange kind of party," the big guy said wairily, he blew on his coat where it had caught on fire.

"But isn't it fun!" ebo laughed.

TEELABROWN

Monday, April 12, 2004 3:28 PM

"Am I the only one who realizes that we may be dinner?" Teela asked innocently.

"No, no." replied Tash. "I seem to think the same thing."

"So, any ideas on how we get out?"

"Sorry."

The Big Guy asked: "Will brute strength help?"

"Sure!" a few voices said.

"I'll try." He tried. It worked. Well, halfway. The Big Guy was now closer to the fire than he wanted to be. "Well, if I succeed, I fall into the fire. If I don't, I fall into the fire. Let's try again." He tried. He fell, but not into the fire, thereby smothering it. "Hey, whadda ya know! It worked! So, should I untie you or what?"

Ebo was still giggling. Everyone looked, well, tried to look, and they all reached a silent consensus: she needed help.

Then Tash said: "That's a possibility, untying us. Or you can fight off those people."

_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2 plus 2 make 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

EBONEZER

Tuesday, April 13, 2004 2:38 AM

Ebo rolled here eyes, "Silly Tash. They're not PEOPLE. They're swamp things. I hope they're good cooks too because I'm famished!"

"I'm on fire," Tash said shaking his leg as best he could to get it out.

The big guy put the small fire on Tash's leg out then untyed him. He put Tash on his feet then moved onto Ebo.

"Look out behind you!" Teela screamed.

Thinking fast the Big Guy grabbed the Ebo's stick (with her still tied to it) and swung it at the thing behind him. It hit the thing in the head hard enough to knock any person out. Unfortuanatly, the thing wasn't a person. It's soft skin absorbed the blow and conformed around the stick and Ebo's legs.

Ebo giggled, "That tickles!"

The thing licked Ebo's leg, tasting.

"Ick! You tasted awful! Realease them! We don't want to eat them!"

"We could order chineese," another thing offered.

The others agreed. They untied the prisonors and kicked them out into the ocean. They swam to the surface and hitched a ride on a passing whale.

"You know, I think they where going to eat us," Teela said after she caught her breath.

CAPNRAHN

Tuesday, April 13, 2004 5:00 AM

As the whale swam in the moonlight, the mood in the air shifted. Clouds began to boil and seeth across the star dappled sky.

It now was a dark and stormy night. Suddenly a shot rang out! The maids screamed!! Bathed in St. Elmo's Fire, a pirate ship appeared on the horizon!!!

"Remember, there is only ONE absolute - There ARE NO absolutes!!!"

TEELABROWN

Wednesday, April 14, 2004 1:19 AM

But they were Zen Pirates, so they had nothing to fear.
..........
If you want to see the Zen Pirate picture here's the URL: http://www.wunderland.com/WTS/Andy/SBHarvest/tshirts.html#ZenPiratesTs
hirt

Funny, no?

_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2 plus 2 make 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

EBONEZER

Thursday, April 15, 2004 4:08 AM

the zen pirates invited them onto the boat. They sprinkled our hero's with herbs and greeted them with a friendship pipe ceremony.

They then took them below deck and served them tea.

"Well," Tash said, sipping his tea, "this is certainly anti-climatic."

Suddenly a crew member came running below deck, "We are under attack! Please take cover!"

Teela looked confused, "Who would attack the zen pirates?"

"We do not know, but their ship is large and square, and they sing."

"Oh boy! Songs!" Ebo exclaimed, "What are they singing?"

"Perhaps you should come hear for yourself."

They followed the crew member topside and saw the large, vaugly building shaped ship coming towards them. They heard singing float accross the water:

"It's grand to be an accountant, and sail the great accountant sea! To (something) and (someting) the funds offshore and..."

-----------------------------------

"When did this become not funny?"

TEELABROWN

Thursday, April 15, 2004 10:39 PM

"Accountants? Jeez, these things keep on getting...odd..." Teela paused.

Ebo, who was trying to pick up on the song, began singing: "The story General Stanley told..."

"Are you on the right song?" asked Tash.

The Big Guy noticed Teela. "You okay?"

"My mind hates me. So it's trying to convince me the song is familiar. Gorram the thing."

The Accountants were drawing closer. "It makes a fellow proud to be-why as a kid I vowed to be- what luck to be allowed to be an Accontant!"*

"Obviously a Lehrer influence." the Big Guy joked.

They all looked at him.

"What?"

The Accountants pulled up to dock...
_________________
*Of course, all due respect to Tom Lehrer, a wonderful man with wonderful music.

_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2 plus 2 make 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

EBONEZER

Friday, April 16, 2004 3:21 AM

"Uh...Hi!" Ebo said, grinning boradly, "Are you here to have a sing along?"

"No!" one of the pirate accountants shouted, "We're here to pillage, and plunder, and ruin all you're stock options! ARRGGHH!"

"Oh. Well then. Have fun with that." Ebo said and grabbed Teela's hand, dragging her away.

"Wait!" the accountant pirate jumped in front of them, "We're do you think your going?"

Ebo rolled her eye's and pointed, "That way. Have fun with your plundering." She turned past the pirate and dragged Teela by. Teela flashed a smile over her shoulder as she got dragged
away.

"Stop them!" the pirate yelled and a group of pirated grabbed them, Tash, and the Big Guy, and tied them to the mast.

-----------------------------------

"When did this become not funny?"

TEELABROWN

Saturday, April 17, 2004 12:43 AM

"How can you plunder when we have nothing? Just out of couriosity, of course, for you seem to be doing a fine job at...well, I'm not quite sure what." Teela asked.

"That's a good question. But I cannot answer that without a representative." one of the pirate accoiuntants replied.

"Well, fair's fair." Teela muttered.

Ebo was laughing in glee. No one looked at her, they were used to it by now.

The Big Guy asked Tash "How do we get out?"

"Well, usually, some random hero, heroine, diety, or act of something or other gets us out. What's it say in the script?"

"I have no clue. Wait, there was a script?"

And the accountants began lighting torchers and drawing closer.

And Ebo laughed on...

_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2 plus 2 make 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

EBONEZER

Saturday, April 17, 2004 6:05 AM

Ebo laughed, "You guys can't kill us!"

An accountant grunted in amusement, "And why is that?"

"Well, you COULD kill us if you really wanted to, but is it worth the trouble?"

"What trouble?"

Ebo rolled her eyes, "Duh. Killing Americans in International waters is taxed. You have to pay 45% of all booty plundered to the american government."

He came closer, shoving his nose in Ebo's face, "There are ways around that."

"Sure, but you have fill a 34-p AND a 87-g fourm for each member of your crew. Not to mention finding someplace to convert you plundered gold, sliver and tea into american dollars with out really screwing up the exchainge rate."

The pirate gestured at another member of the pirate crew, "What if he kills you? He's not American. He's brittish."

Ebo sighed, "Thats even worse. You have to pay a 10% proccessing tax in adition to the origonal 45%"

"We could kill you and not report it."

"Ha! That'll never work! A jump in our gross anuanl income with out a career change or raise is total red flag for the IRS. They'll be all over you in an instant," Ebo snorted, "And you call yourselves accountants. At least your writing off all the money you spent on those charming outfits," she noted the calculator dangling from the pirates ear.

The pirates face fell, "You mean that..."

"You haven't been writing that off? How about the ship? Tell me you write off general matence on your ship," she noted their faces, "No? What kind of crappy accountants are you?"

Another accountant nearby smacked the leader, "I told you!"

"Told you! Told you!" mocked a parrot on his shoulder, "Write off Polly's crackers I say, but what do you say? Nooo..."

-----------------------------------

"When did this become not funny?"

TEELABROWN

Tuesday, April 20, 2004 12:21 AM

"Shut up, you bird!" said the leader.

"Polly told you, Polly did. SQUACK!"

"What a nice parrot," remarked Tash sarcastically.

"It is," replied the Big Man.

"Oh yes," agreed Ebo.

"Has it occured to anyone that the rope is untied?" asked Teela.

"So it is," said Ebo. She went over and patted the bird's head.

"Who did that?" asked the Big Guy, who also patted the bird.

_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2 plus 2 make 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

EBONEZER

Tuesday, April 20, 2004 1:29 AM

"Bad rope, Bad rope," the parrot sqwaked.

The leader sighed, "Yes, it does that sometimes. Makes the general catching and threating diffucult at time."

"So," Tash said, scarching his head, "Are you going to chaise us or..."

"No," the leader sighed, "You can go."

"Oh wonderful!" cried a good pirate (you know, one of the nice, tea drinking pirates who's name i can't remember) "Would you like to join us in a tea cerimony?"

The acountant pirates agreed, and they all went below deck. This left the accountant pirates ship empty.

Tash whispered something in the big guys ear. He grinned and passed it onto the Hippi, who grinned and passed it along to Teela.

They grabbed Ebo and climbed into the Accountatns ship and sailed away.

-----------------------------------

"When did this become not funny?"

TEELABROWN

Saturday, April 24, 2004 1:38 AM

"What'd they say to you?" Ebo asked.

"What?" Teela replied, trying to remember knot tying class.

"What'd they say?"

"Oh. I believe it was along the likes of 'The spotted coukoo bird is flying backwards.'"

"Nope," said the Hippie. "It was 'It's a cold day fro plontooning.'"

"I said 'Ceader Lattice: works everytime.'" Tash commented.

"I thougt it was 'Johny Longtorso, the man who comes in pieces!'" said the Big Guy.

"Communication of the Modern Era. Always gets screwed up." Ebo remarked.

_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2 plus 2 make 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

EBONEZER

Saturday, April 24, 2004 2:06 AM

OOC: (they fuck you with the cell phones!) Teela your funny.

IC (or something like that):

"So," ebo said, looking around, "where are we going?"

"your island, wasn't it?" Tash said.

"Oh boy!"

"Where is your island?"

Ebo shrugged, "Somewhere off the coast of mexico."

"Mexico has a rather large coast."

"So?"

"So there are currents, winds, latuidues and logitudes to deal with to find our way there. Do you even no the co-ordanatns?"

"Nope. But I'm sure we'll make it eventually."

Tash sighed and stomped off grumbing about a GPS.

Ebo found a compass and took the wheel, "It's simple. I know that its off the west coast, and were in the pacific ocean. So we don't even have to go around Bottom America, or through Pan-land..."

Teela raised an eyebrow.

"...and west is that way. All we have to do is find the coast of mexico and go down it, looking for any small, partialy uninhabitied islands. I think mine is pink."

"Pink? I don't think that-" Teela was cut off by a sudden jarring. They ran to the bow and found they had run aground on a small, partialy uninhabeted island. They could just see the coast of mexico to the west. They could tell because it was wearing a large sombrero.

"Aww.. its not my island. This one is purple."

-----------------------------------

"When did this become not funny?"

VETERAN

Saturday, April 24, 2004 2:44 AM

The Big Guy said, "I don't know about anybody else but I'm hungry." He grabbed a rope and swung down onto the purple island.

The Hippie picked up a shot gun, grabbed a rope in the other hand and said,"I'm right behind you big guy." as he slid down to the shore.

Teela shouted, "Wait for me", looked around for a handy rope, and, not being able to find one, just hung and dropped from the bow.

Tash leap over the side landed with a nifty little roll ending upright on his feet. He looked back Ebo, now alone on the deck, and said, "I meant to do that."

Ebo shouted,"Wait, this isn't my island. It's purple." Realizing nobody was listening, she got of the boat and trundled down the beach after the others. The monkey followed.

TEELABROWN

Saturday, April 24, 2004 3:19 AM

"Nice monkey," said the Big Guy.

"What monkey?" the rest chourused.

"The nice one that's right behind Ebo." The Big Guy pointed.

Ebo turned around. "Nice monkey. I'll call you..." She ran through a list of names. "Monkey. Yes. Monkey. Come Monkey!"

The monkey climbed onto her shoulder.

Teela and Tash were looking around. "So, why do you think it's purple?" Tash asked Teela.

"Volcanic activity?" Teela pondered.

"Yeah, good guess. Hey, they're going."

"We should go then. Hey Ebo how do you get a pink island?"

"You see..." Ebo started to explain.

_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2 plus 2 make 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

EBONEZER

Saturday, April 24, 2004 4:16 AM

"...there was a sale on pink paint down at the local hardware store. I HATE pink. its a terrible color and whoever invented should be shot."

"I think you just implyed that we should shoot god," Tash mused.

"I don't care if John Lennon invented pink. He should be shot."

"Um, well he kind of already..."

"Anywhoo, I decided that if I didn't want to look at the color pink why would anybody else? To save other people the pain an heartbreak of pink I bought the whole lot and painted my island pink. Thats the story and-hey why did we stop walking?"

The hippie's eyes widened, "We've got some local color happening..."

-----------------------------------

"When did this become not funny?"

TEELABROWN

Sunday, April 25, 2004 2:17 PM

"Hey, they're repainting the island!" Ebo said. "Aww, and I liked purple."

"That was anit-clamatic," Tash remarked.

"Whoa, like, deja vu," Teela replied.

Then they started to walk around, and they came up to a group.

The Big Guy started "Pardon me, but-" He was cut off when the group started worshiping him, and muttering something. Everyone else looked up, and they all started worshiping too.

The Hippie tapped The Big Guy. "What're they sayin'?"

"Beats me."

"Well then." Teela said. "Let's find that out, shall we?"

_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2 plus 2 make 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

EBONEZER

Sunday, April 25, 2004 6:59 PM

Suddenly Teela's head started hurting, she started to fall but Tash caught her. "Whats wrong?" he asked.

"Its deja vu again. I can't help thinking this has already happened...and i keep thinking of blue hands and some guy named jeremy...Whats happening to me?"

The Very Important Historian 2.0 stepped out of the bushes.

"Didn't i kill you?" the Hippie grunted.

"That was my brother," the VIP 2.0 said, "I am a new and improved model."

"Whats better about you?"

He pulled a gun and shot himself in the chest, "kevar padding." he said, pulling his shirt up to reveal the bullet lodged in his chest, "In anycase, this felling of deja vu is perfectly natural because, well, this has happened to you before."

"what has? Pirates?"

"Accountants?"

"Pink?"

"No no, this bit about being warshiped. Something about going back in time, and almost falling off a cliff, and arrows. I'm a bit fuzzy on the details."

"So how did we get out of it?" Teela asked.

"I don't know."

"But arn't you supposed to be a historian?"

"Well sure but you can't be everywhere at once. There was a smashing good cricket game on the BBC that demanded my attention. Shame that the game was runied when a spaceship landed in the middle of the field..."

The big guy sighed, "Well, you've been no help what-so-ever."

"Can i shoot this one then?" the hippie said, already pulling his gun.

"Hey guess what!" Ebo shouted, "These people think were God! Its the second coming of the great Teela, and Big Guy they think that your some dude named Jeremy. There also threating to chop off Tash's head and put it in a pickle jar. Still trying to fugure that one out. Oh yeah and something about an apocolypse or something."

-----------------------------------

"When did this become not funny?"

TEELABROWN

Sunday, April 25, 2004 9:48 PM

Smashing Hitchhiker's reference Ebo!
__________
"Wait, wait, wait. I prefer my head on my shoulders, thank you very much," Tash told Ebo. Tash grabbed his head in protection.

"The Apocolypse!" The Big Guy shouted. "No, no, no. I like the world very much." And he grabbed a tree.

"Hey, you can understand them!" Teela shouted.

"Oh yeah. It's simply a slur of Celtic, Latin, and Babylonian. I mean, come on." Ebo told Teela.

"So, tell them that it's not the end of the world, we don't know who Jeremy is, and that Tash will not have his head removed."

"It's a little late, they're taking Tash away." Ebo said pointing.

"Wode tìan, it's a wonder you're still alive." Teela muttered, as she ran after them.

"Should I help?" asked the Hippie.

_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2 plus 2 make 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

SUCCATASH

Sunday, April 25, 2004 10:06 PM

The next few minutes were pure chaos. Teela stumbled and hit her head on a rock. She lay unconscious as they cut off Tash's head and put it in a jar.

Meanwhile, the Hippie and the Historian circled each other in a fight to the death.

TEELABROWN

Sunday, April 25, 2004 11:01 PM

Teela woke up. She didn't open her eyes, the sun was up there, and that HURTS! "Hiya!" a voice shouted. Groan. "Ebo..." she didn't know how to end that sentance.

"I'm not Ebo." The voice sounded hurt.

"Yossarian, leave me alone." Groan.

"I not Yossarian." The voice sounded even more hurt.

"Then who the hell are you?" Teela opened her eyes, and was greeted by a head in a jar. She shot up. "AAAAAHHHHH!! Where's your body?"

"It's me, Tash. You tripped. You have klutz genes."

"Don't remind me. Ugh."

"So, now I'm a head in a jar. These nice people cut it off. Did you know that thay actually do steralze their medical supplies? Very nice people really. Oh, and they want to give you something."

"As long as nothing gets cut off." The natives lead Teela to their villiage. One dressed in a doctor's lab coat brought out something green. "It's a jumpsuit. We ran out of red. It doesn't do much."

"Cool. I like jumpsuits."

Meanwhile...

It was the third try of the death match. First, there was a horrible cutting noise, and they couldn't do anything. Then there was this scream. Third try.

"Today is a good day for you to die!" shouted VIH 2.0.

"No you!"

Ebo looked over. "Can't you guys just be friends?"

"Because," they chimed together.

"Jeez. Okay, to make this fair, draw your weapons. I'll count paces, tell you when to shoot, and then yout turn around and shoot. One...Two..."

Something came crashing through the bushes, which interrupted Ebo's very nice counting...

_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2 plus 2 make 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

SUCCATASH

Sunday, April 25, 2004 11:32 PM

The scary sound in the bushes grew louder.

In the confusion, the Hippie carelessly squeezed the trigger and his gun went off. Teela was accidentally shot in the neck.

She was seconds from dying. Ebo cried, "We must save Teela!"

Succatash bubbled inside his jar, "There is only one way. Teela must become a head in a jar, just like me."

Hours later, Teela and Tash smiled at each other inside their new Giant Sized Jar.

"Thanks for being my new roommate, Teela," said Tash. "It sure helps on rent. Now, we can live forever in paradise, and help save the world. Together."

Ebo looked jealous. She said, "Maybe I'll cut off my head too, I want to live forever, it looks like fun."

Teela and Tash looked at each other and smiled knowingly.

Meanwhile, the Hippie and the Historion 2.0 battled furiously, unaware of their surroundings.

Suddenly, the crashing sound in the bushes grew really loud and the Big Guy emerged with a roll of toilet paper in his hands.

"What's been going on?" he asked. "Did I miss anything?"

TEELABROWN

Monday, April 26, 2004 12:54 AM

The Teela head spoke up."Nothin' much. Tash became a head in a jar, I got a cool jumpsuit, then I got shot in the neck, and then I became a head in a jar, sharing with Tash."

"Okay..." The Big Guy was sad.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Ebo asked.

"Teela was my only friend. Now I'm alone again."

Tash saw this, and said hesitantly "You can carry the jar." The Big Guy brightened.

"And Ebo, living forever isn't all it's cracked up to be." Teela said.

"Really?" Ebo said.

"Uh, yeah." Teela was racking her mind for a non-depressing reason.

"Oh. Okay!" Ebo didn't reasons.

The death match, take 4, was still continuing. Outerworld: 3, Deathmatch: 0. All of a sudden, a chime sounded. "Oh, a Cricket match is on! Sorry, can we do this later?" A vortex opens, the VIH nods his head, and steps in.

"Bye!" Ebo waved.

"See you 'round! Tash, when and how do we pay rent?"

"Bye! Good question, workin' on it."

The Hippie grunted. "Chicken!" He shouts! A ball shoots out of there, grazing his head. "I heard that!"

The vortex closes.

_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2 plus 2 make 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

EBONEZER

Monday, April 26, 2004 1:53 AM

"Hey! So i get the jumpsuit right?" Ebo said eagerly.

Tash shrugged, then realized he didn't have shoulders anymore, he nodded instead, but his head just bobbed around, bubbling angrly he gave up on body lauguage he said, "Sure. Have fun with it."

"Yay!" she snatched the jumpsuit off Teela body and pulled it on. "Alrighty then lets take this baby for a test drive! Lets try flying," she jumped up and dpwn but didn't fly. "Nope, superspeed?" she tried running but if anything the heavy fabric slowed her down. "Nope, superstength? No. Can i shot flames? no. Repel bullets? I don't wanna try. So whats this thing good for?"

------------------------

Tash, good to see you back, it was become the Teela and Ebo show there for a while.

-----------------------------------

"When did this become not funny?"

TEELABROWN

Monday, April 26, 2004 1:22 PM

Ebo, it always ends up as Teela and Ebo shows. But seriously, welcome back Tash.
___________
"To fly, try throwing yourself at the ground and missing." Teela told her.

"How do you miss?"

"Don't be afraid of the ground. It will hurt more if you forget to miss the ground."

"Okay. One...two...three!" Ebo jumped.

"Look over there!" Tash shouted.

"What?" Ebo jerked her head, and saw nothing. But she was floating.

The Big Guy started talking to her. "Okay, don't wave, you are not breaking the laws of physics."

"Cool! I'm flying!" Ebo started rising upwards. "WHOO-HOOO!!! Wait, I'm breaking the laws of physics!" She started barrelling downwards.

"No yer not!" shouted the Hippie, who believed physics were a waste of time, and never bothered to learn it.

_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2 plus 2 make 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

EBONEZER

Tuesday, April 27, 2004 1:11 AM

Ebo screeched to a halt. She found herself hovering a few inches off the ground, "Cool! I feel like that dude in that movie!"

She darted up into the air, did a barrel roll, and dove back at the ground, "Weee! This is fun!" She stopped and hovered near the ground, "So now what do we do? Weren't there natives or somesuch thing?"

"Oh yeah, where'd they get off to?" the Big Guy looked around.

"Hey look!" Teela said, "Smoke!"

"Oh boy! Must be a party!" Ebo shouted. She started to fly off towards the smoke but the Hippie grabbed her ankle and pulled her down. Ebo suddenly thought about how much it would hurt if she fell and found herself lying in a crumpled heap on the ground.

"No parties," the Hippie said firmly, "Remember what happened last time we went to a party?"

"We ate chips," Ebo said, rubbing her head.

"Are you forgeting the part where we almost got eaten?"

"yes."

"Hey guys, the smoke seems to be getting closer. Under circumstances where i had legs, i would be running about now," Tash said.

-----------------------------------

"When did this become not funny?"

SUCCATASH

Tuesday, April 27, 2004 4:01 AM

Despite the approaching scary smoke, Teela and Tash smiled and bubbled inside their new big jar. Tash said, "Since Teela is my roommate, we upgraded to the Super Jar with built in jet packs. We're leaving."

Teela rubbed her nose on the jar and the jet packs ignited. The heads of Teela and Tash flew into the air.

"Wait!" cried Eboneezer. She began to fly after them. But the Big Guy grabbed her leg and the Hippie grabbed her other leg.

All three of them flew clumsily into the air in pursuit of the Big Flying Jar O' Teela-Tash. The Hippie and the Big Guy clung tightly to Ebo's legs. Beneath them, Mother Earth was on fire!

EBONEZER

Tuesday, April 27, 2004 4:23 AM

"You guys seriously need to consider loosing some weight," Ebo grunted.

The big guy rolled his eyes, "Like i didn't see that stupid cleche coming. Joss would be disapointed."

"Joss? What is he a cowboy or something?"

The Big Guy sighed.

"Where are we going?" Ebo called up to the Jar o' TnT.

"Up." Tash responded.

"Oh. Ok."

"Won't the air pressure lesson to the point that our lungs will colapse and our bodies explode?" The Big Guy asked.

"I don't have lungs," Teela said.

"Ditto," Tash bubbled.

The Big Guy looked to Ebo, she shugged, "Apparently, I'm some sort of robot. I'm not too concerned."

"What about you?" the Big Guy asked the Hippie, "You're human, arn't you concerned?"

The hippie shook his head, "No. My shotgun has a built in oxygen tank."

"So everybody is covered for this going off planet thing but me?"

-----------------------------------

"When did this become not funny?"

SUCCATASH

Tuesday, April 27, 2004 4:30 AM

Teela and Tash smiled at the Big Guy. Teela said, "Don't worry, Big Guy, our Big Jar comes with an extra Life Support Air Hose." Teela pushed a button and a long hose emerged from the side of the Jar. Tash smiled knowingly, and the Big Guy sighed in relief.

The Big Guy grabbed the air hose and put it in his mouth and began sucking air. Teela shook her head angrily, and cried, "No! Are you crazy! You'll kill yourself!" Bubbles rose furiously in the jar.

Tash smiled wisely and spoke gently to the Big Guy. "Uh, the air hose. It doesn't go in your mouth...."

EBONEZER

Tuesday, April 27, 2004 4:39 AM

The big guy blushed and said, "oh, of course," and stuck the tube in his ear.

"Why are we going off planet?" Ebo asked.

"Because the earth is on fire," Teela said patently.

"Why?"

"I imagene its Donald Trumps fault."

"Why?"

"Because he's rich and you can blame things on rich people."

"Why?"

"Do you want me to pull over?" Teela said angrly.

Ebo fell silent. After a while she said, "Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Are we there yet?"

"No!"

"Were are we going?"

"No!"

-----------------------------------

"When did this become not funny?"

TEELABROWN

Wednesday, April 28, 2004 11:13 PM

"That actually is a good question Teela." The Big Guy said. "Where are we going?"

"Um, away?"

"To where?" the Hippie asked.

Tash piped up: "If I just say some random planet, will you be quiet?"

"Sure!" said Ebo.

"Yup." said the Hippie.

"Of course. We're Americans." The Big Guy said.

"Okay then. We're going to Jupiter."

"Oohh."

"I see."

"Makes sense."

And they flew on...

_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2 plus 2 make 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

EBONEZER

Wednesday, April 28, 2004 11:20 PM

They flew some more. A short beard began to appear on the Big Guy's face.

Ebo's hair got a little longer.

The hippie got more wrinkles.

Tash and Teela stayed pretty much the same.

The Big Guy and the Hippie were begeing to get hungry.

"Wow," Ebo said absently, "Jupeter sure is a long ways away....Hey! Who wants to play the license plate game?!"

_______________________

I'm trying to win tickets to disneyland! So i sent a fax asking for them. And i got a fax back! But the freakin fax maciene (the one built into the freaking computer) is having some sort of melt-down and won't receve it!

damn technology!

-----------------------------------

"When did this become not funny?"

TEELABROWN

Thursday, April 29, 2004 2:15 AM

Teela started to tell Ebo: "Honey, there aren't lisense plates-" then she looked up. She muttered to herself: "Well I'll be damned."

A Winebago passed.

"Any food there?" the Hippie asked.

"Hey look-a burger bar!" Ebo pointed.

The Big Guy read: "Big Bang Burger Bar. Interesting. Let's get something to eat."

"Sure. Why not." So they parked.

"Whadda y'all want?" Tash asked back.

"Lesse..." Ebo began...

_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2 plus 2 make 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

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