The Sereni-Tree, the Holidays, the New Year, and the Secrets of Zanzibar
POSTED BY: TheRealMe
UPDATED: Sunday, April 13, 2008 04:46
VIEWED: 38236
PAGE 2 of 2
*Ebo swings into the thread, dangling naked from the chandelier*
TRM said I could do this when I came of age, back in the 'love boat' days...so I've been bidding my time...
Now, where the hell is my pool table?
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Four out of five gynecologists recommend calling Ebo a girl.
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*waves at Ebo
Welcome home!
Be careful up there that chandelier is a bit wobbly. So I've heard...
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TheRealMe offers a snappy salute as he looks up. "Oh! Ahem!"
TheRealMe averts his eyes from Ebo's dangling nakedness.
"Welcome home, Commodore! Ummm... Has it been that many years already? Yes, yes, I suppose that I might have said something like that. Oh, your pool table is right were it has always been, smack in the center of the common room. Your nest underneath should be undisturbed.
"I regret to inform you, however, that your likeness, the Ebo Golem (aka Effigy of Ebo) has had the crap beaten out of it during fighting over Boros. It sort of got an arm blown off and it now walks with a pronounced limp. I did superglue back on all the pieces that I could find."
TheRealMe, Captain of the Sereni-Tree
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Oh, and happy birthday!
TheRealMe, Captain of the Sereni-Tree
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Quote:
TheRealMe offers a snappy salute as he looks up. "Oh! Ahem!"
TheRealMe averts his eyes from Ebo's dangling nakedness.
"Welcome home, Commodore! Ummm... Has it been that many years already? Yes, yes, I suppose that I might have said something like that. Oh, your pool table is right were it has always been, smack in the center of the common room. Your nest underneath should be undisturbed.
*Ebo dives under the table and rummages around until she finds her three pointed hat and sword, puts those on, and steps out from 'neath the table.*
Oh, guess a hat and belt don't really count as clothing, does it.
Oh well.
Quote:
"I regret to inform you, however, that your likeness, the Ebo Golem (aka Effigy of Ebo) has had the crap beaten out of it during fighting over Boros. It sort of got an arm blown off and it now walks with a pronounced limp. I did superglue back on all the pieces that I could find."
No worries, TRM, that thing always kind of freaked me out anyway. Its disconcerting seeing an exact copy of you with a magic marker penis drawn on its, um, well you know. Where the penis goes. That area.
Quote:
Oh, and happy birthday!
Thanks!
So, I just thought I'd stop by and see how my little corner of the internet was going. So far, so good, it seems. Wacky and strange as ever.
Whats new?
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Four out of five gynecologists recommend calling Ebo a girl.
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"Pretty much we are up to the same nonsense, Commodore. And as far as that magic-marker prank on the Ebo Golem goes... well, I am happy to say that PsychicRiver has returned from a long absence as well!"
TheRealMe studies Ebo's not-quite-nakedness for a moment.
"Umm... around the time of your last visit with us, I had Sparky fashion a Horatio Hornblower era officer's uniform for you, if you'd like to try that on.
"Say, after all this time, how is that thing going with Ice Cream Guy?"
TheRealMe, Captain of the Sereni-Tree
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TheRealMe looks around for Leopardflan and Oram, somewhat concerned that we may have lost track of our newest recruits.
TheRealMe, Captain of the Sereni-Tree
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Quote:
Originally posted by TheRealMe:
"Pretty much we are up to the same nonsense, Commodore."
TheRealMe studies Ebo's not-quite-nakedness for a moment.
"Umm... around the time of your last visit with us, I had Sparky fashion a Horatio Hornblower era officer's uniform for you, if you'd like to try that on.
"Say, after all this time, how is that thing going with Ice Cream Guy?"
Aw, I appreciate the offer of the uniform. But I'm good with naked, for now. Maybe later. If it gets cold or something. Got some shiny tattoos that I'd like to show off, among other things, thankyouverymuch.
And actually, life is good with Ice Cream Guy. I live with him now. Yup, got out of the Parents house, moved to the Beach, and we're living the good life. I should try to get him to join up here. I'll make him make his name be Ice Cream Guy, and then everyone in the know will, well, know.
Also, I might be a lesbian now. I dunno. Just throwing that out there.
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Invictus comes on board looking around to see these widgets and decides to stay.
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*tater comes abord. and wonders what she has to do to become a member of this um....fine crew
*
Bwa hah hah!! Mine is an evil laugh!! Now die!
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Welcome aboard!
Hmmm... with the Zanzibar plot going nowhere, perhaps we should recall the crew and make a Jump to some other planet.
TheRealMe, Captain of the Sereni-Tree
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Hi, I've just escaped captivity, a Jump to another planet sounds really good right now, can we do that? *hides aboard*
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*waves to leopard from across the general stowing away box*
Get's rather cramped in here with two...
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Quote:
Originally posted by TheRealMe:
Welcome aboard!
Hmmm... with the Zanzibar plot going nowhere, perhaps we should recall the crew and make a Jump to some other planet.
TheRealMe, Captain of the Sereni-Tree
I vote for a planet with limited peril and lots of weirdness... Not that the Potter clones weren't weird and TWG being a disembodied hand and all...
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MAL: Everybody's makin' a fuss.
***********
"They just float out there, sending out raver breeding parties..."
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So you're trying to say that this planet's weirdness has gotten normal, and we now need to find a planet that's a different type of odd? I volunteer the Planet of Normalness, because normal is really weird.
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*After much nudging and prodding, the hand makes the Potter clone take it to the large group of Tree-ers celebrating. A few faces the hand does not recognize look twice at the wiggly fingers, but for the most part folks seem unfazed.*
*Hopping from shoulder to shoulder, the hand looks for someone with a keypad or pen and paper. Sure would be nice to let these folks know it's a friendly hand.*
---
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, "Where have I gone wrong?" Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night."
-- Charlie Brown
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Hmm, there's a hand crawling on my shoulder... maybe I should see if it can type, it looks friendly and it can't exactly bite *lol*
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Quote:
Originally posted by LeopardFlan:
So you're trying to say that this planet's weirdness has gotten normal, and we now need to find a planet that's a different type of odd? I volunteer the Planet of Normalness, because normal is really weird.
98% of teens have smoked pot, if you are one of the 2% that haven't, copy this into your signature.
Well, I'm not planetside, I'm on the 'Tree where things are basically normal. However, this is not the weirdest plot we've ever had.
Methinks you need to read over our past threads to truly appreciate "weird"...

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MAL: Everybody's makin' a fuss.
***********
"They just float out there, sending out raver breeding parties..."
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Well, consitering that this is the 61st thread, that could be a whole lot of reading material, it would take awhile. Are there any particularly weird threads you'd like to recommend?
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98% of teens have smoked pot, if you are one of the 2% that haven't, copy this into your signature.
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Welllll...
You can always take a look at the Thread of Threads. It is a summary thread.
TheRealMe, Captain of the Sereni-Tree
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Sooooo, we're all scampering aboard for another adventure?
If so, Shiny!
If not, .... can I stow away in one of the boxes? I may take a rat in form, but I don't eat much.
We sleep soundly in our beds because rough men stand ready in the night to visit those who would do us harm.
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I vote for less peril too, if only because I'm running out of Band-Aids.
*looks up*
That reminds me, we should probably organise some routine medicals as well.
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I'm healthy, just had my tetnus, black-plague and rabies shots. 
And I'm pretty cool with helping out in the infirmary. *shrugs* If you need the help at any time just ask.
We sleep soundly in our beds because rough men stand ready in the night to visit those who would do us harm.
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Maybe we can have peril while on a band-aid stealing mission, and use the band-aids we miraculously keep to patch up with the crew. Sound shiny?
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Ooh, a raid on a medical facility to steal supplies! Quick, someone teach TheRealMe to say "We applied the cortical electrodes but were unable to get a neural reaction from either patient."
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Well, his eyes were fixed and dilapitated....
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Ooh a raid? That does sound like fun! Can I play? I want to drive the ambulance. Please? I'm a VERY good driver/flyer. I hardly ever run into parked spaceships or back over those pesky little planet curbs.
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Hmmm, raiding sounds good to me.
TRM? Can I give some sort of raiding order? Just for old time sakes?
I do see that you are captain now. I wouldn't be so uncouth as to declare a mutiny or anything.
Or would I?
...
No. Probably not.
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Four out of five gynecologists recommend calling Ebo a girl.
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Quote:
Originally posted by SimonWho:
Ooh, a raid on a medical facility to steal supplies! Quick, someone teach TheRealMe to say "We applied the cortical electrodes but were unable to get a neural reaction from either patient."
Or perhaps we could raid, say, an ark?
Perhaps some sort of lost ark?
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Commodore Ebonezer, I promoted you to Commodore and me to Captain because we needed a Captain to marry Soul and Serenity. You remain our fearless leader. I shall attend to a new thread as soon as I can.
"Cortical electrodes. Cortical electrodes."
TheRealMe, Captain of the Sereni-Tree
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A wedding!!! Oh, I LOVE weddings!! Drinks all ROUND!!!
We sleep soundly in our beds because rough men stand ready in the night to visit those who would do us harm.
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*waves to Leopardflan &... BC07!? Hey, how've you been! Remember me? From... ehr... well the firefly role playing thing we had going a few months back? 'Nice to see ya again ^_^ *
This thread reads like endless fun! 'Mind if I tag along?![]()

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Quote:
Originally posted by TheRealMe:
Commodore Ebonezer, I promoted you to Commodore and me to Captain because we needed a Captain to marry Soul and Serenity. You remain our fearless leader. I shall attend to a new thread as soon as I can.
"Cortical electrodes. Cortical electrodes."
TheRealMe, Captain of the Sereni-Tree
Ooooohhhh, so a Commodore is better than a Captain?
Neat!
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*hears a reference about biting and decides to be a smarypants...PINCH*
Ow! And here I was going to let you use my treo.
*Feels terribly bad about the whole thing and pats LF's shoulder.*
Well, okay, but play nice.
*Grabs a nearby cord and ports the treo to the big screen. Gleefully begins typing.*
Ebo! TRM! Everyone! I'm the hand formerly known as twg. Long story short, I didn't die a third time, but I lost most of my body. Still have my soul though.
twg? No idea who that is.
I hear my son returned safely, that's very good news. I volunteer for a medical raid...I'm the perfect disguise. A severed hand.
---
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, "Where have I gone wrong?" Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night."
-- Charlie Brown
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I volunteer too!! I can take other forms other than a rat…. Though they are fast and can fit through almost anything.
We sleep soundly in our beds because rough men stand ready in the night to visit those who would do us harm.
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*will keep her hand in her sleeve and act like she lost one*
I can scream and cry real good!

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Hahaha!!! I have re.... um.... why is there a semi-naked bird thing here?? And, uh... wow.... I've been gone for a while now, ain't I??
Hullo Epi... decided to join this wacky fun group?
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Bumping the Sereni-Tree
*shakeing ensues* Sorry! I didn't know it would do that!
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*waves madly at BC2007*

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Hullo Fishie of the black tresses... *waves madly back*
God I missed you guys 
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*skips over to BC2007*
So how's about a random adventure?

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Right, I know a hospital that is just ripe to be raided, complete with an evil receptionist to be bypassed at the door.
We'll need ropes, hacksaws, a rubber duck, two pound coins, two pounds of coins, some Rice Krispies (it must be Rice Krispies - Ricicles won't do), an ungulate above four feet in height, two fake ID badges and some beers. For the victory party afterwards.
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*pinches a clone Simon's butt. giggles to self, or would if giggling were possible*
*scampers to the console*
Is there any cake left? I don't eat, but it's still nice to play with my food. Can I be given a clone for my own transportation? The Potter clone's are too young for me, I feel icky. One of the Simon or Mal clones maybe....or a Chiwetel clone.
*fidgets*
If any of my stuff is still on board, there are two badges in my steamer trunk: Molly Cule R.N. and P. McNinja M.D. Mind if I take a dip in the margaritas?
---
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, "Where have I gone wrong?" Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night."
-- Charlie Brown
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Hmmm... maybe we can grow a new bod for TWG? Or attach the hand to a clone?
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TheRealMe carefully considers the problem posed by ThatWeirdGirl's hand.
"Sadly, all of the Big Damn Hero Clones dissolved into dust some time ago. However, After Bride1 was slain by Needleseye, Doctor SimonWho was convinced by the other Brides to clone her from her remains, and so we now again have a complete set of Brides."
TheRealMe snaps his fingers.
Say, when the FemaleReaver got loose on the Sereni-Tree, Bride1 lost her arm in a fight with her. Perhaps the two of you could be united in a..."
The attractive blonde assassin Ace strolls up, her robotic prosthetic hand whirring and buzzing as she delivers an empahtic gesture. "No way! Forget it!"
TheRealMe, Captain of the Sereni-Tree
and Ace, Bride1
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*stiffening as TRM relates the story*
Her!?
*pacing, up and down the console, the hand occasionally shakes*
But she's, well she's not the type I am. We're ill-matched....I suppose that means we're perfect for each other. *sigh* If she promises not to kill anyone using me, I'll consider it...
*shuffles behind a rubber plant to think of this developent *
She doesn't appreciate the chaos I bring to the table.
"Chaos!" Ace huffs, "I don't understand chaos! I am chaos incarnate. You are a measly little hand of a former oddity. You are nothing compared to me."
*nothing. nothing. The hand slowly clomps across the console. At Ace's pronouncement, the hand leaps at her knee, squeezing it*
"Uncle!"
---
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, "Where have I gone wrong?" Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night."
-- Charlie Brown
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TheRealMe watches, perplexed, as the disemboded hand of ThatWeirdGirl grips the knee of Ace.
"Ummm... Well, as I understand it, Doctor SimonWho did some tinkering with Bride1's genetic code. She's not nearly so crazy as she used to be."
Ace winces at the pain inflicted by the hand, but still gives him a look.
He continues: "That is to say, she is much less susceptable to being controlled by the very convincing arguments of that mastermind of psychology, the FemaleReaver... especially since we left her on Reaverworld a jump or two back."
Ace regards him coldly, as she draws her prized katana and begins casually sharpening it. "Look, hand, if you don't release your grip, then you'll force me to chop off your... ummm..."
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A tall, attractive woman of African descent comes walking purposefully from the Sereni-Tree's bar to the site in the Common Room of the altercation between Ace and TWG's hand. "Hey! None of that!" she says sharply to Ace. She sets her pitcher of Margaritas on the floor and sits, crosslegged, next to Ace's knee.
"Stay out of this, Trey!" Ace warns her, waving her katana about menacingly. "I'm still an agent of Chaos!"
Trey dismisses Ace with a snort and a wave of her hand. Her face at Ace's knee level, she addresses the Hand. "Come on, sweetie. There's no reason to get so upset at Ace. Like TheRealHim said, the Doc stripped away most of the crazy DNA. Ace is mostly sane, now."
Ace scowls.
Trey continues. "I'd offer you both a free drink of my special brew, but..." She regards the hand. "Maybe we can inject it or something."
Meanwhile, TheRealme gets a beep on his com-link. He pulls it from his belt. "Hello? This is Me."
From the pilot dome above the Bridge, Quincey, a beautiful woman of Oriental descent with long, shining black hair, mades her report. "We've recovered all our shuttles. Everybody is aboard, and then some, considering the new folks."
TheRealMe nods. "Excellent, Bride5. Stand by, please." He touches a control on the device. "Bride4, what is our status?"
From down in Main Engineering, Jet, a rather short Caucasian woman with dark hair and glases, adjusts controls on her hovering command chair. "I've just finished spinning up the FTL drive. We can jump to hyperspace at any time."
"Thank you, Bride4." He touches another control, and his voice echoes throughout the ship. "All hands! Prepare to Jump!"
TheRealMe, Captain of the Sereni-Tree
Ace, Bride1
Trey, Bride3
Jet, Bride4
Quincey, Bride5
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**jake7 watches and listens to the exchange between TRM, Ace, and Trey and steps forward with a suggestion**
Um...if SimonWho was able to clone the others, why can't he simply just clone TWG from one of her fingernails or cells?
I think that would be a bit more tolerable for TWG, don't you think?
I know I, for one, would feel a wee bit safer keeping the two crazies in cryo!
Just a thought...
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MAL: Everybody's makin' a fuss.
***********
"They just float out there, sending out raver breeding parties..."
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Because if he cloned TWG, we're not sure if the clone would have TWG's personality, or if TWg would only be able to control the hand, or if the two personalities would have to fight it out for control of the body, or waht. Besides, the clone would be whole, and we'd have to cut off one of the hands and then re-attach the TWG hand, and that would be a bloddy mess.
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98% of teens have smoked pot, if you are one of the 2% that haven't, copy this into your signature.
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Hmmmm... Not to mention that we'd still have an extra hand running around...
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Quincey stares out of the Pilot Dome up at the stars. Then her gaze drifts down to the lovely blue planet below her.
She so loves piloting!
She smiles and grips the controls at her sides. She twists them and Sereni-Tree responds instantly. She sees the planet Zanzibar slide across her field of vision as Sereni-Tree slowly turns.
The Nav computer speaks to her in the voice of Eddie Izzard doing an impression of James Mason. "Course computed and saved. All systems functioning at optimal levels. Capacitors of Faster Than Light Drive are fully charged."
Quincey holds her breath and pushes a big red button. Suddenly, everyone aboard gets a slightly queasy feeling as the ship is jerked out of normal space and falls into the mysterious and chaotic world of hyperspace.
Thrilled, Quincey slaps her hands together. "Great fun as always! Now we wait a week."
Quincey, Bride5
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New Thread:
http://fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=11&t=33358
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