The Forgotten "NOT a Guy/Girl" Clubhouse...

POSTED BY: Malicious
UPDATED: Friday, March 18, 2005 03:03
VIEWED: 22097
PAGE 1 of 2

1 2 NEXT PAGE LAST PAGE

MALICIOUS

Monday, July 5, 2004 1:38 AM

Hey! Anybody here?

The last thing I remember, Gunhand was up on the roof, we were having a few drinkies and watching and then, POOF! Nada. Musta blacked out.

It's kinda dusty in here. Jeez, I hope there's no spiders! And I'm going to have to toss this blender and get a new one, no one washed it out after the guy's TV remote control "fell" into the last batch.

We're going to have to interview new cabana boys, too. Work, work, work.

Anybody want to help me set up for the next shindig in here? We got the big screen TV, the sauna and lots of other fun stuff...(looks around hopefully)

Hello?

Mal-licious

ANNIK

Monday, July 5, 2004 2:07 AM

I was tired and wandered off for a nap. (yawns and stretches) So ... who wants to sing "The Hero of Canton" in a four-part round before the drinking gets too heavy?

Cheers,
Annik
... my sister's a ship. We had a complicated childhood.

JAKE7

Wednesday, July 7, 2004 8:33 PM

Oooh -- a sing along would be fun, but we have work to do here first!

This place is filthy!! *sneeze*

There must be about an inch of dust around here!

Did anyone check the grounds to make sure Gunhand didn't just fall off the roof in exhaustion? We *were* working him a bit hard...

--------------
MAL: Everybody's makin' a fuss.

ANNIK

Wednesday, July 7, 2004 11:10 PM

True, but with his kilt he should have had enough loft to keep him from hitting the ground too hard.

Gunhand? Gunhand? Are you there?

Cheers,
Annik
... my sister's a ship. We had a complicated childhood.

EBONEZER

Wednesday, July 7, 2004 11:19 PM

Wow. I leave for a litte while and this is what happens. Lucky, I *ahem* "bought" a new blender for us.

And i found a cabana boy running around the streets of reno. He can help gunhand with the cleaning.

Actually he can help with the search for gunhand first.

Or the body recovery of gunhand.

Or something.

-----------------------------------

Four out of five dentists reccomend calling Ebo a girl.

ANNIK

Thursday, July 8, 2004 12:07 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by ebonezer:
Wow. I leave for a litte while and this is what happens.

Ebo! You're back! Yay! How were things?

Cheers,
Annik
... my sister's a ship. We had a complicated childhood.

EBONEZER

Thursday, July 8, 2004 12:39 AM

Yeah. I'm back. Sort of.

I'm still in Reno.

And i still have no internet.

Except i now have a friend w/ DSL. She says that every wensday i can come over. So every wensday I'm back.

Actually, I have dial up internet all week, but i hate using it.

So every wendsday I'm back.

-----------------------------------

Four out of five dentists reccomend calling Ebo a girl.

MALICIOUS

Thursday, July 8, 2004 1:02 AM

Excuse me? You two chatting over there? Why is the blender not blending? I'm parched. All this dust, you know. (sweeps up some crap. literally.)

I bought a large bag of ice and put it in the freezer. The little bitty umbrellas are in the drawer next to the SubZero fridge and the rimming salt is in the cabinet with the pretty margarita glasses, the ones with the green edges, not blue. (checks off list) Limes are all sliced, keg is on ice, food is...somewhere. Let's get this shindig started!!

Oh, wait. It's only Wednesday. Damn. Oh, well, it's not like I've never gone to work with a hangover before! WOOOOOHOOOOOO!!! Cabana Boy!! You're with me!

Mal-licious

ELWOODMOM

Thursday, July 8, 2004 3:17 AM

I AM DUE FOR A DRINK! A foot massage, too. And a back massage. *El looks around for a very-buff, easy on the eyes but not too pretty manly man!*

Glad to see the band is back!

THATWEIRDGIRL

Thursday, July 8, 2004 4:00 AM

opened up a bottle of wine and finished off my 1st glass. anyone else?

www.thatweirdgirl.com

ELWOODMOM

Thursday, July 8, 2004 4:05 AM

Me Me Me! Oh, cabana boy...

THATWEIRDGIRL

Thursday, July 8, 2004 4:09 AM

*passes bottle to mom*
enjoy! I got a nice little warm cheek thing goin'

www.thatweirdgirl.com

ELWOODMOM

Thursday, July 8, 2004 4:25 AM

Thanks! Yes, you do look a little flushed! I'll be flushed soon!

EBONEZER

Thursday, July 8, 2004 5:31 AM

Flushed? Hey! I learned how to fix a toilet a coupla weeks ago. Lemme know if there are any toilet related problems I can procrastinate fixing for you.

We need more cabana boys!

-----------------------------------

Four out of five dentists reccomend calling Ebo a girl.

ELWOODMOM

Thursday, July 8, 2004 5:40 PM

Sure, you go ahead and fix something. (Procrastination is a good thing, I feel!) I'm gonna keep staying flushed in the becomming sense. You know, my dainty cheeks...alcohol induced!

Where IS that cabana boy?!

ANNIK

Thursday, July 8, 2004 10:57 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Elwoodmom:
Sure, you go ahead and fix something. (Procrastination is a good thing, I feel!) I'm gonna keep staying flushed in the becomming sense. You know, my dainty cheeks...alcohol induced!

Where IS that cabana boy?!

Ummm ... I think he's gone. Ran off with the hat-check girl at the entrance.

Cheers,
Annik
... my sister's a ship. We had a complicated childhood.

ELWOODMOM

Thursday, July 8, 2004 11:49 PM

Any other fella out there that wants to wear a kilt??

*Tips cup upside down* I'm empty over here!!

HELL'S KITTEN

Saturday, July 10, 2004 5:00 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by annik:
Gunhand? Gunhand? Are you there?

I'm holding him hostage. I was hoping no one would notice.

JAKE7

Saturday, July 10, 2004 7:07 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Hell's Kitten:
Quote:
Originally posted by annik:
Gunhand? Gunhand? Are you there?
I'm holding him hostage. I was hoping no one would notice.

Oh, it would be sure we'd notice -- that deck doesn't seem to be quite done yet...

I could really go for a Margarita right about now. Who's bartending?

--------------
MAL: Everybody's makin' a fuss.

MALICIOUS

Sunday, July 11, 2004 1:20 AM

I THOUGHT that's what we got the cabana boys for! The idea being that we wouldn't have to get up and make the drinks ourselves. Just hold up the empty and have a full one put in its place. Maybe we need cabana eunuchs, so they don't keep running off?

Mal-licious

JAKE7

Sunday, July 11, 2004 7:03 PM

Hmm, I thought the cabana boys were there to slave to us hand and foot.

I figured they'd be too busy to bartend!

And yeah, we need to do *something* to keep them from running off!

Any ideas?

--------------
MAL: Everybody's makin' a fuss.

NEROLI

Sunday, July 11, 2004 7:15 PM

You can't make them eunichs!! What if you have "other" needs that they need to take care of?

I think you all need to keep the cabana boys on leashes.

The Old Broad Monkey

http://p221.ezboard.com/bfireflyfanficawards

THEREALME

Monday, July 12, 2004 3:09 AM

It's not that I mean to interfere, mind you.

It's just that talk about your cabana boys being eunuchs (or "making" them eunuchs!) might discourage future applicants.

Just sayin', is all.

The Real Me

DELIA

Monday, July 12, 2004 4:48 PM

Eunuchs? You want cabana eunuchs? Y'all are nuts. What we need, and I've said this before, is minions. Terribly attractive, skimpily attired minions.

Is the blender up and running now? I'd love a pina colada. With a little umbrella in it. Cheers.

___________________________________________
Angel: People who don't care about anything will never understand the people who do.
Hamilton: Yeah, but we won't care.

ANNIK

Monday, July 12, 2004 5:02 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Neroli:
You can't make them eunichs!! What if you have "other" needs that they need to take care of?

I think you all need to keep the cabana boys on leashes.

You can get your other needs taken care of by ordering large quantities of stuff from my SPECIAL (as Book would say) website (young un's please ignore this post ... or else!)

http://www.justforlust.com

Cheers,
Annik
... my sister's a ship. We had a complicated childhood.

THATWEIRDGIRL

Monday, July 12, 2004 11:04 PM

minions! ooh much better than cabana boys. we can make them speak with an accent, doesn't matter what accent being that all accents are nice.

btw i finished the guinness. there's some ultra still in the cooler. the blender is running, i'll send one over.

i saw the cabana boy put a few cases of pop on the shelf. i guess the pop's for mixing drinks?

www.thatweirdgirl.com

EBONEZER

Thursday, July 15, 2004 12:11 AM

Everybody! Pack up the party! We're moving to the Blind Onion. It's a pizza place, and today i invented the pizza of the week.

I call it: Frog in a Blender

and it's on the house too!

Theres a bar next door as well. They have pool tables, and a fake ping pong table.

To the Blind Onion!

-----------------------------------

Four out of five dentists reccomend calling Ebo a girl.

JAKE7

Thursday, July 15, 2004 12:24 AM

Where's the Blind Onion?

I can only assume it's cleaner than our clubhouse!

--------------
MAL: Everybody's makin' a fuss.

THATWEIRDGIRL

Thursday, July 15, 2004 12:41 AM

can i play fake ping pong? cause I'll go if i can play fake ping pong.

www.thatweirdgirl.com

MALICIOUS

Saturday, July 17, 2004 2:38 AM

Pfffft!! I say, bring the Blind Onion here!! We have a pool table (poof! a pool table appears) and a brick pizza oven (poof! again). If only there were someway to obtain a fake ping pong table...(thinks hard)...I know! A raiding party! I need a posse of 4 strong girls. I can ride back on the table, to make sure it doesn't fly away.....(wakes up) Hey! Why was I sleeping on this ping pong table? (scratches head, totally confuzzled)

Mal-licious

THATWEIRDGIRL

Saturday, July 17, 2004 4:47 AM

way to go Mal!

we have their fake ping pong table, nee nee. I rerouted my parents shuffle board table to the clubhouse. If they call my phone, don't answer it.

I just finished a daiquari, anyone else?

www.thatweirdgirl.com

MONKEYTAIL

Sunday, July 18, 2004 2:13 AM

I'll be a skantly clad minion, but not a eunich/cabana boy. Keep in mind, I am more than just a bit lazy, and I enjoy ping pong, exspecially the fake kind.

On a good day, hell can look alot like LA.-Playing God

MALICIOUS

Friday, July 23, 2004 5:16 PM

Hey Everyone!! It's FRIDAY! Time to PARRR-TAAAAYY!! Who's with me? It's relatively clean in here and, while the sauna is not, technically, a sauna yet, we can still hang out in there wearing only towels! Hey, skantily clad minion! I need me a brewski, chop-chop.

Mal-licious

THATWEIRDGIRL

Friday, July 23, 2004 6:41 PM

I'm ready! Here's a brew for ya Mal.

Just put on a new halter top and capris for relaxing in style. Who knew a person could be comfortable in something other than a tee and cut-offs?

I have the night off from work, so let's start rockin'. Is the band set up yet?

www.thatweirdgirl.com

MALICIOUS

Friday, July 23, 2004 7:08 PM

(drinks the ice cold beer in one swallow)

I dunno! I haven't seen KGB in months, she founded the band, (starring ME on Stupid Stick Sounds Like It's Rainin') but I don't know if we're going to need to find a new leader, or what.

TWG, you can't wear halter tops and capris in the unfinished sauna! Here (hands her a towel) put that on. Get a minion to help you.

Mal-licious

THATWEIRDGIRL

Friday, July 23, 2004 7:16 PM

ooh, thank you.

Wasn't there a minion around here? Monkeytail, I need your help with the towel. And we need some more drinks! Just keep them coming.

www.thatweirdgirl.com

THATWEIRDGIRL

Saturday, July 24, 2004 6:05 AM

I emptied the sangria and finished off most of the ale. One of the minions spun me around for a dance. Is anything left in the cooler?

www.thatweirdgirl.com

MONKEYTAIL

Monday, July 26, 2004 3:21 PM

My minionism is at TWG's service. Now, I am going to take a nap on the hammock. I would appreciate it if someone would get me a shot of vodka.

On a good day, hell can look alot like LA.-Playing God

MALICIOUS

Friday, July 30, 2004 9:28 PM

Hell-O! Dude, YOU serve US!! Now, get out of my hammock and fix me a drinkie. With a little umbrella! Chop chop!

Mal-licious

THATWEIRDGIRL

Monday, August 9, 2004 5:14 PM

shot? I could use a bottle of vodka right now.

How's it going folks? The sauna working okay, because I have some stress that needs melting.

www.thatweirdgirl.com

MONKEYTAIL

Thursday, August 26, 2004 1:07 PM

The sauna is working fine. Just put fresh towels in there as well. I had a bottle of vodka, but I drank it. I'll have to get a few more. And a new pillow for the hammock, it has a weird kinda funky smell to it.

On a good day, hell can look alot like LA.-Playing God

JAKE7

Thursday, August 26, 2004 4:37 PM

I keep asking for Margaritas (OK, it's been a while now), but my glass isn't getting filled!

We need more minions!!

I'm up for a game of pool -- any takers?

--------------
MAL: Everybody's makin' a fuss.

THEREALME

Saturday, August 28, 2004 2:31 AM

I tell you, that eunuch talk scared off all the applicants.

The Real Me

EBONEZER

Saturday, August 28, 2004 3:13 AM

This is me making a grand enterace.

And that girl on the ground over there is me after tripping coming down the stairs while making the grand enterace.

Someone put me in a hammock (hammack? Hammackie? Bloddy hell how do you spell that?), and get me a drink please.

-----------------------------------

Four out of five dentists reccomend calling Ebo a girl.

THEREALME

Saturday, August 28, 2004 3:44 AM

Well, since I happen to be around, I'll be glad to help out.

* The Real Me carefully lifts Ebo and places her in some bed-like net thing attached to the wall. *

And to be polite, here is something to drink.

* The Real Me hands Ebo some of Channain's wine -- non-alcholic variety -- as he recalls that Ebo is probably not yet of drinking age. *

But please understand that I'm not a MINION.

The Real Me

EBONEZER

Saturday, August 28, 2004 5:02 AM

Ebo mumbles that although she is not quite of drinking age, she would very much love a hard lemonaide. Please?

Many thanks to TheRealMe, we defanitly need some minions who actually do some work around here.

-----------------------------------

Four out of five dentists reccomend calling Ebo a girl.

THEREALME

Saturday, August 28, 2004 5:20 AM

A hard lemonaide? Sure!

* The Real Me goes to the freezer, pulls out a can of frozen lemonaide concentrate, and hands it to Ebo. *

There! Frozen rock hard!

The Real Me

THATWEIRDGIRL

Saturday, August 28, 2004 10:46 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by TheRealMe:
A hard lemonaide? Sure!

* The Real Me goes to the freezer, pulls out a can of frozen lemonaide concentrate, and hands it to Ebo. *

There! Frozen rock hard!

The Real Me

roflmao

sweet deal at work on pillows, so I picked up a few: squishy pillows, deck pillows, floor pillows, and fuzzy pillows. So have a seat and relax.

www.thatweirdgirl.com

MALICIOUS

Sunday, August 29, 2004 12:50 AM

Ahhh, a nice relaxing day at the clubhouse. I think we should all have our very own hammock. We can stack them, like Gilligan and the Skipper's....

Hey, can someone swing me--ever so gently---sos I can nap? Thanks.

Mal-licious

THEREALME

Sunday, August 29, 2004 7:12 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by thatweirdgirl:

roflmao

Hmmmm...

* The Real Me studies the situation. *

Logically, if she is "ROF", then it appears that ThatWeirdGirl has fallen out of her hammock.

* The Real Me picks up ThatWeirdGirl and puts her back into her hammock. Then he looks about, shrugs, and gives Mal-licious a gentle push. *

Say, do I get PAID for this?

The Real Me

FRED1988

Sunday, August 29, 2004 10:53 AM

I cleverly waited to come back until someone
else had done (most of...aaacchhooo, excuse me)
the dusting.

There any Guinness on tap in here?

fred1988

All my life I wanted to be somebody. I guess I should have been more specific.

CAGEYBEE

Sunday, August 29, 2004 7:18 PM

friend, sisters, countrywomen!!!

always wanted to say that. anyway, in explanation of my unexplained absence: (i'm not allowed to give specific details, but you're smart gals and will get the jist of it, i'm sure.) anyway, one day a certain someone-in-a-hat came to my door, saying i was needed. before i knew what was what, i was whisked away on a whirlwind adventure and, eventually, romance. needless to say, i saved the universe and faced down a whole world of unruly cabana boys.

that said, i think i may need a drink. something foamy.....

me

~Mal- "how drunk was i last night?"
~Jayne- "i don't know. i passed out."

EBONEZER

Sunday, August 29, 2004 9:28 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by TheRealMe:
A hard lemonaide? Sure!

* The Real Me goes to the freezer, pulls out a can of frozen lemonaide concentrate, and hands it to Ebo. *

There! Frozen rock hard!

The Real Me

You are a terrible person, and i hate you.

-----------------------------------

Four out of five dentists reccomend calling Ebo a girl.

EBONEZER

Sunday, August 29, 2004 9:30 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by cageybee:
friend, sisters, countrywomen!!!

always wanted to say that. anyway, in explanation of my unexplained absence: (i'm not allowed to give specific details, but you're smart gals and will get the jist of it, i'm sure.) anyway, one day a certain someone-in-a-hat came to my door, saying i was needed. before i knew what was what, i was whisked away on a whirlwind adventure and, eventually, romance. needless to say, i saved the universe and faced down a whole world of unruly cabana boys.

that said, i think i may need a drink. something foamy.....

me

~Mal- "how drunk was i last night?"
~Jayne- "i don't know. i passed out."

I think the reason for your absence was much more interesting then mine. I saved a blind horse while i was gone though. Do i get anything special for that?

Something foamy, eh? I could put my "hard lemonaide" in the blender for you, that would make it foamy...

-----------------------------------

Four out of five dentists reccomend calling Ebo a girl.

THEREALME

Sunday, August 29, 2004 9:34 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by ebonezer:

You are a terrible person, and i hate you.

Huh!

As a matter of fact, most of my friends think that I'm quite nice!

* The Real Me wanders away to pout... *

The Real Me

MALICIOUS

Sunday, August 29, 2004 11:52 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by TheRealMe:
Quote:
Originally posted by thatweirdgirl:

roflmao

Hmmmm...

* The Real Me studies the situation. *

Logically, if she is "ROF", then it appears that ThatWeirdGirl has fallen out of her hammock.

* The Real Me picks up ThatWeirdGirl and puts her back into her hammock. Then he looks about, shrugs, and gives Mal-licious a gentle push. *

Say, do I get PAID for this?

The Real Me

No, you do not get paid in the sense of anyone giving you currency, but you do get to hang around with hot chicks, feed us, ensure we have libations and swing our hammocks. That should be reward enough, for a REAL man. Now, swing me, dammit!

Mal-licious

THEREALME

Tuesday, August 31, 2004 3:39 AM

* Deep in thought, The Real Me absentmindedly hands Fred1988 a Guinness and gives Mal-licious and ThatWeirdGirl a push to get their hammocks rocking gently. *

Mal-licious, by "hang around with hot chicks" should I take you to mean "slavishly cater to the whims of the ladies who frequent this place"?

Not that I really have a problem with that or anything...

Hmmm.... I might have another idea. I'll be back.

* After glancing to make sure ThatWeirdGirl has not fallen out of her hammock again, The Real Me departs. *

The Real Me

ELWOODMOM

Tuesday, August 31, 2004 5:16 AM

Can't wait to hear about your idea. And who is falling out of hammocks?? Looks like a party I don't want to miss!

CAGEYBEE

Tuesday, August 31, 2004 1:20 PM

uh, therealme, i couldn't help that in your absence, i've stopped swaying gently in the breeze. now i'm not pointing fingers here, but.......

me

~Mal- "how drunk was i last night?"
~Jayne- "i don't know. i passed out."

JAKE7

Tuesday, August 31, 2004 4:35 PM

I'm not sure I want stacked hammocks...does anyone really want to stare at someone else's backside? (Unless it's one of the cabana boys, that is)

I see hard lemonade being thrown about, but I STILL haven't gotten my Margarita!!

What's a girl gotta do around here to have her needs met?

--------------
MAL: Everybody's makin' a fuss.

MALICIOUS

Tuesday, August 31, 2004 10:33 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by TheRealMe:
Mal-licious, by "hang around with hot chicks" should I take you to mean "slavishly cater to the whims of the ladies who frequent this place"?

TRM:

(clears throat--ahem)

YES.

Mal-licious

MALICIOUS

Tuesday, August 31, 2004 10:40 PM

Jake7:

Here you go. (It's a margarita, it just looks like a beer)

Mal-licious

EBONEZER

Wednesday, September 1, 2004 2:27 AM

Hi, the fireflys are gonna play here for you one day if we ever get our act together.

go back to your swinging gently ion the breeze now.

-----------------------------------

Four out of five dentists reccomend calling Ebo a girl.

THATWEIRDGIRL

Wednesday, September 1, 2004 2:51 AM

thank you much.

maybe i shouldn't do any swingin...in the hammock least ways...too dangerous.

i see guinness, anyone want a bruised pear?

www.thatweirdgirl.com

THEREALME

Wednesday, September 1, 2004 4:20 AM

* The Real Me dashes into the clubhouse, sets every hammock rocking gently, puts a drink in every hand (sorry, Ebo -- a SOFT lemonade) and runs out again without breaking stride. *

The Real Me

JAKE7

Wednesday, September 1, 2004 4:26 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Malicious:
Jake7:

Here you go. (It's a margarita, it just looks like a beer)

Mal-licious

Thanks, Mal!!

--------------
MAL: Everybody's makin' a fuss.

THEREALME

Thursday, September 2, 2004 4:00 AM

Hey, I have a question.

Since this is the NOT a Guy/Girl Clubhouse...

And since I am NOT a Girl...

Is there any reason that *I* cannot become a full member, swing in the hammocks, and have drinks brought to ME?

Aside, of course, from the fact that I seem to be the only one doing any work. Where is that person with the monkey tail?

The Real Me

CAGEYBEE

Thursday, September 2, 2004 4:48 AM

therealme, until you can find someone with some sort of tail to fill your position, i'm pretty sure the numbers are against you. just because you lose doesn't mean you're wrong....but you still lose.

so, if i could get a push, maybe you can have a sip of my foamy choclately milky? drink.....unless you still feel like uprising.

me

~Mal- "how drunk was i last night?"
~Jayne- "i don't know. i passed out."

THEREALME

Thursday, September 2, 2004 5:03 AM

Mmmmm....

Foamy...

Chocolatey...

Milky...

* The Real Me has a Homer Simpson moment, and pushes CageyBee in return for a sip of her drink. *

Ah, thanks. Gotta go work a bit more on my idea...

The Real Me

CAGEYBEE

Thursday, September 2, 2004 6:33 PM

yay, a push! *immediately falls out of her hammock* crap.

me

~Mal- "how drunk was i last night?"
~Jayne- "i don't know. i passed out."

MALICIOUS

Thursday, September 2, 2004 7:30 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by TheRealMe:
Hey, I have a question.

Since this is the NOT a Guy/Girl Clubhouse...

And since I am NOT a Girl...

Is there any reason that *I* cannot become a full member, swing in the hammocks, and have drinks brought to ME?

Aside, of course, from the fact that I seem to be the only one doing any work. Where is that person with the monkey tail?

The Real Me

TRM,

You should probably check the archives to read the original threads. The gays, umm, I mean GUYS, have their own clubhouse. It's just that ours was better and the guys started hanging out in it and we decided to let them stay if they performed certain....services... for us. Should you no longer wish to....service....us, you may leave, with no penalty for early withdrawal. See how nice we are?

Mal-licious

EBONEZER

Friday, September 3, 2004 1:48 AM

i think we need a plasma screen with surround sound to make our firefly watching expreince all the more enjoyable.

I think if TRM gets that for us, we might consider full membership, yes? No? Vote? No?

-----------------------------------

Four out of five dentists reccomend calling Ebo a girl.

THEREALME

Friday, September 3, 2004 2:20 AM

* A beeping sound fills the clubhouse as The Real Me backs a truck up to the front door. The Real Me hops out of the driver’s seat, rushes to the rear of the truck, throws open its back door, and hooks the ramp in place. He hops up into the bay of the truck, and with some effort uses a dolly to wheel something down the ramp and maneuver it into the clubhouse. The person-sized cargo is covered with a sheet. *

Greetings, all! I have come up with something that might interest you! No, not a plasma TV!

* With a flourish, The Real Me pulls the sheet from the object, revealing it to be a humanoid robot made of metal and plastic. *

I present to you my own invention, the Mechana-Cabana-Boy 3000. Not only have I programmed in all of Asmiov’s Three Laws of Robotics (even the first one), but he also speaks with the voice of Alan Tudyk!

I call him “Sparky,” due to an unfortunate circuit-breaker incident that occurred during his construction. Happily, I discovered that copper pennies screwed into the fuse receptacles work just fine. In any case, I would expect that Sparky can fulfill the majority of the needs of the regulars here. I leave him to you! Good day!

* With that, The Real Me climbs back into the driver seat of the truck and speeds away, dragging the forgotten ramp behind. *

The Real Me

EBONEZER

Friday, September 3, 2004 2:23 AM

Ok, yeah, thats better then a tv.

"Hey sparky, will YOU give me a Hard lemonaide?"

*the robot looks Ebo up and down and says* "No."

Damn technology, at least its a good hammock rocker.

-----------------------------------

Four out of five dentists reccomend calling Ebo a girl.

THATWEIRDGIRL

Wednesday, September 8, 2004 4:14 AM

i say we keep ya! You're darn handy to have around and real friendly like.

twg smiles and hands trm a frozen lemonade. Cheers! Salut! and Sit down, relax, I'll push you for a while.

www.thatweirdgirl.com

THEREALME

Wednesday, September 8, 2004 6:03 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Malicious:

TRM,

You should probably check the archives to read the original threads. The gays, umm, I mean GUYS, have their own clubhouse. It's just that ours was better and the guys started hanging out in it and we decided to let them stay if they performed certain....services... for us.

Oh, so the name "NOT a Guy/Girl Clubhouse" is not related to a gender confusion issue over Ebo, but is intended to be the "Not a Guy, but RATHER a Girl Clubhouse"?

* The Real Me nods. *

Yes, that makes some sense, now.

* Suddenly, The Real Me is startled, and looks about for Ebo. *

Oh, Ebo, I must hasten to add that I myself have never mistaken you for a boy. After all, I go to the third dentist. But I am aware of others having had that problem in the past.

Quote:

Should you no longer wish to....service....us, you may leave, with no penalty for early withdrawal. See how nice we are?

Mal-licious

* The Real Me ponders this carefully and realizes that, even considering the slavery issues, this is the best offer he has had in YEARS! The Real Me bows. *

Mal-licious, I am at your... service!

* The Real Me straightens up and looks thoughtful. *

But I don't have to call you "Mistress", do I?

The Real Me

THEREALME

Wednesday, September 8, 2004 6:09 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by thatweirdgirl:
i say we keep ya! You're darn handy to have around and real friendly like.

twg smiles and hands trm a frozen lemonade. Cheers! Salut! and Sit down, relax, I'll push you for a while.

www.thatweirdgirl.com

* Overcome with emotion, The Real Me rubs a single manly tear from his right eye. *

Thanks, TWG!

* The Real Me takes a bite out of his frozen lemonade, climbs up into a hammock, and relaxes. *

I think I'm going to like it here.

The Real Me

THATWEIRDGIRL

Wednesday, September 8, 2004 8:22 PM

*twg peaks in thru the door to see everyone swaying gently and napping. sigh. twg dashes around to make sure all the occupants are okay.

you all are so cute and angelic.

I was stopping by to mix up some margaritas, but it can wait until after siesta.

www.thatweirdgirl.com

MALICIOUS

Wednesday, September 8, 2004 9:32 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by TheRealMe:
Quote:

Should you no longer wish to....service....us, you may leave, with no penalty for early withdrawal. See how nice we are?

Mal-licious

* The Real Me ponders this carefully and realizes that, even considering the slavery issues, this is the best offer he has had in YEARS! The Real Me bows. *

Mal-licious, I am at your... service!

* The Real Me straightens up and looks thoughtful. *

But I don't have to call you "Mistress", do I?

The Real Me

TRM,

Nah. You don't HAVE TO. But once in a while wouldn't kill you, would it?

Mal-licious

EBONEZER

Thursday, September 9, 2004 12:48 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by TheRealMe:

Oh, so the name "NOT a Guy/Girl Clubhouse" is not related to a gender confusion issue over Ebo, but is intended to be the "Not a Guy, but RATHER a Girl Clubhouse"?

* The Real Me nods. *

Yes, that makes some sense, now.

Now wait, i don't think thats right. Lemme give you the REAL history (well, as real as its gonna get anyway). It all started back when i got called a boy a few to many times (I probably wouldn't care that much, except i got called a boy a lot in real life when i was little, and i harbored some resentment). Anyhoo, I started makin some noise about this and Mal and some other girls joined me, and the "I am NOT a guy clubhouse" was born.

Then the boys found out how much fun we were having and made their OWN "I am NOT a girl clubhouse." Theres was even better then ours untill we stole their TV.

Then both clubhouses were inexplicable abandoned, and we all went on to...differnt, less fun, things.

Then (stop me if i'm wrong mal), Mal wanted to reivive the clubhouse thing, and she blened them together to make the "Forgoton NOT a girl/guy clubhouse" And this is what we got.

That wasn't very interesting was it.

Quote:

* Suddenly, The Real Me is startled, and looks about for Ebo. *

Oh, Ebo, I must hasten to add that I myself have never mistaken you for a boy. After all, I go to the third dentist. But I am aware of others having had that problem in the past.

Ah, the third dentest, he's good, but the second dentist will use laughing gas at the drop of a hat. Thats always good.

Now that fifth dentist, he's the one you'll wanna look out for...he can be sneaky and underhanded he can.

-----------------------------------

Four out of five dentists reccomend calling Ebo a girl.

THATWEIRDGIRL

Thursday, September 9, 2004 2:03 AM

party here friday night!!!

Fireflies have been invited to play.

Guinness, margaritas, wine, vodka, frozen and thawed lemonade for everyone.

www.thatweirdgirl.com

THEREALME

Thursday, September 9, 2004 5:53 AM

Say, do the "Fireflies" have any roadies? Sparky and I could help set things up for the band.

The Real Me

THEREALME

Thursday, September 9, 2004 6:36 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by ebonezer:

Ah, the third dentest, he's good, but the second dentist will use laughing gas at the drop of a hat. Thats always good.

Now that fifth dentist, he's the one you'll wanna look out for...he can be sneaky and underhanded he can.

-----------------------------------

Four out of five dentists reccomend calling Ebo a girl.

To be honest, I stopped going to the second dentist because she used laughing gas on herself as much as her patients. But hey, at least we had a good time trading hits!

And you are surely right about that fifth dentist. Alliance mole if I ever saw one. I bet he schedules root canals for no reason. Puts braces on straight teeth. Implants tracking devices in your back molar. You know the type.

The Real Me

MALICIOUS

Friday, September 10, 2004 1:26 AM

Ebo!

What an excellent synopsis! I was riveted. Two thumbs up and a 'round the world snap to you.

Mal-licious

THATWEIRDGIRL

Saturday, September 11, 2004 1:47 AM

the keg is ready. the roadies are settin up for the band. there's lots of lemonade stuff in the freezer. the guac and chips are tasty.

lalalalalalala, testing, 1, 2, 3, can anybody hear me.

www.thatweirdgirl.com

EBONEZER

Saturday, September 11, 2004 2:01 AM

oh yeah

s tonite huh

Yeah! I'm here!

Shit. I forgot my guitar. I should go get that...um...now.

-----------------------------------

Four out of five dentists reccomend calling Ebo a girl.

THEREALME

Saturday, September 11, 2004 2:22 AM

* The Real Me, as self-promoted Chief Roadie, snaps his fingers. *

Sparky! Give the young lady a guitar!

* Sparky nods, extends his right arm twenty feet out the front door of the clubhouse to the back of the truck, and returns with a banjo. *

Ummmm...

* Muttering under his breath, The Real Me pulls out a screwdriver and a wrench and gets to work on Sparky. *

The Real Me

EBONEZER

Saturday, September 11, 2004 2:27 AM

Is ok, RealYou, i got mine now. I practicly live here remember? Turns out it was shoved under the couch.

Speaking of which..I think i found out where that wierd smell is comming from. Could we get Sparky to clean under the couch before the party really kicks in?

-----------------------------------

Four out of five dentists reccomend calling Ebo a girl.

THATWEIRDGIRL

Saturday, September 11, 2004 2:33 AM

woohoo!!!!

go sparky, go sparky!

hey trm, here's a guinness for your hard work.

www.thatweirdgirl.com

THATWEIRDGIRL

Saturday, September 11, 2004 2:38 AM

glad you found your guitar.

turn it up!!!

ebo rocks

www.thatweirdgirl.com

EBONEZER

Saturday, September 11, 2004 2:39 AM

well, here I am rocking my ass off.

Where's the rest of my band?

And my free drinks.

-----------------------------------

Four out of five dentists reccomend calling Ebo a girl.

EBONEZER

Saturday, September 11, 2004 2:40 AM

Hey, I want you all to meet my muppet, Intheshinnycircuslife. BE NICE TO HER! I mean it, no biting!

muppet, say something funny.
-----------------------------------

Four out of five dentists reccomend calling Ebo a girl.

THATWEIRDGIRL

Saturday, September 11, 2004 2:52 AM

here's my speciality....pepsimilk.

would ya like anything else?

flashing lights and screaming fans are ready to go.

www.thatweirdgirl.com

THEREALME

Saturday, September 11, 2004 2:56 AM

* The Real Me slams shut the door on Sparky's back, carefully secures it, then takes the guinness so kindly offered by ThatWeirdGirl. *

Sparky! Get me a saxophone!

* Sparky's arm extends again, but returns with a flute. The Real Me sips his drink and stares at the flute, puzzled. *

Sparky! Get me a flute, then!

* Sparky's arm extends again, but this time returns with a clarinet. *

Facinating. Every time I ask for an instrument, Sparky gets me something like it... but less cool. That means that only the very coolest instruments are beyond our reach.

* The Real Me shrugs, sets down his drink, picks up the banjo and starts the riff for "Deliverance", until he sheepishly realizes that it might be considered inappropriate. *

Sparky! Make yourself useful and sweep up all these dust bunnies!

The Real Me

INTHESHINYCIRCUSLIFE

Saturday, September 11, 2004 3:14 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by ebonezer:
Hey, I want you all to meet my muppet, Intheshinnycircuslife. BE NICE TO HER! I mean it, no biting!

muppet, say something funny.
-----------------------------------

Four out of five dentists reccomend calling Ebo a girl.

Ummm... funny? *bats eyelashes*

THEREALME

Saturday, September 11, 2004 3:18 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by ebonezer:
Hey, I want you all to meet my muppet, Intheshinnycircuslife. BE NICE TO HER! I mean it, no biting!

muppet, say something funny.
-----------------------------------

Four out of five dentists reccomend calling Ebo a girl.

Hi there, Intheshinycircuslife!

* The Real Me smiles and bends down, reaching out in order to shake hands with Ebo's muppet. Then he pauses for a moment, wondering which of them the talk about "biting" was for... *

The Real Me

THATWEIRDGIRL

Saturday, September 11, 2004 3:30 AM

i'll be nice.

come here often? wanna dance?

www.thatweirdgirl.com

THEREALME

Saturday, September 11, 2004 3:34 AM

* Startled, the Real Me gazes up at the alias of the post before his own last. *

Hmmmm... "Intheshinycircuslife"...

* The Real Me looks over at Ebo. *

How did you DO that? Wow. That would be so great if Sparky got a real working alias, too.

* The Real Me is quiet for a moment. *

Of course, that would make him less likely to obey my orders in the future...

The Real Me

EBONEZER

Saturday, September 11, 2004 4:07 AM

Like sparky listens to you now anyway.

I think that robot of yours is more trouble then he's worth.

*Looks at robot with his head in the punch bowl*

I mean honestly.

-----------------------------------

Four out of five dentists reccomend calling Ebo a girl.

THEREALME

Saturday, September 11, 2004 4:35 AM

* The Real Me raises an eyebrow and glances down at his own drink. *

I THOUGHT that it had something of a metallic tang to it...

* The Real Me strides over to Sparky, grabs him by the antennae, and pulls the robot's face out of the punch bowl. *

Hey! That's enough of that! Now, spit it all back into the bowl for the rest of us!

The Real Me

1 2 NEXT PAGE LAST PAGE