MANWITHPEZ'S BLOG

manwithpez

What I Think, As Opposed To What I Say
Tuesday, April 5, 2005

Below is a list of things said to me. Afterwards, in parentheses will be the first thing that popped into my head, and after that will be what I actually said.


At Work:
Me: "I lost seven pounds last week."
My Boss: "How did you do that?"
Me: (Amputation) "You know...working out and such."

In The Smoking Area With a Coworker Who Has Never Seen Me Smoke:
Coworker: "Barks! You don't smoke!"
Me: (Am I sure? What am I doing with this cigarette?) "Yeah...I do."

At Home After Recieving A Sizable Income Tax Return:
My Wife: "That TV is just so expensive."
Me: (I will kill you) "Yeah, but that's the one we said we were going to get."

At Work Again:
My Boss: "Where are you going?"
Me: (Anywhere but here) "I have to poop."

COMMENTS

Wednesday, April 6, 2005 1:39 AM

MANWITHPEZ


At FFF.net:

TWG: "I heard you. Perhaps you should go to the bathroom."
Me: (I hope she doesn't think I'm gonna let her help) Perhaps I will!

Tuesday, April 5, 2005 11:29 AM

JADEHAND


Reminds me of a "memo" passed out at my workplace a few years back. Basically a "we've heard complaints about too much harsh language/profanity so these old phrases are now replaced with these new phrases.
Things like " Thoses F**king morons" now = "What Creative thinkers!". It was really funny at the time, If I can find it I'll post it, if you're interested.

Tuesday, April 5, 2005 10:21 AM

THATWEIRDGIRL


At FFF.net
MWP: "Did you hear me? I have to PEE!"
me: (I hope he doesn't expect me to help him pee.) "I heard you. Perhaps you should go to the bathroom."

Tuesday, April 5, 2005 9:54 AM

MANWITHPEZ


At FFF.net

TWG: "Uh-huh."
Me: (Is she gonna take me or what?) "Did you hear me? I have to PEE!"

Tuesday, April 5, 2005 9:46 AM

THATWEIRDGIRL


At FFF.net
MWP: "I have to pee."
me: (Am I supposed to take you to the bathroom?) "uh-huh."


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