I feel so cheap and *sullied*... by Jacqui

JACQUI'S BLOG

Jacqui

I feel so cheap and *sullied*...
Sunday, October 9, 2005

But oh, so very goooooooooood.

So, I went to the shops to buy some milk and bread and pick up the insulin no one in the world seems to have... anyway...

I passed by one of those mid center "massage" places that give neck massages for, like, $5 and I thought 'why the hell not'? I mean, I've gotta go into hospital tomorrow and rearrange my whole life, so why not something special for me right now?

So I sit down and he starts and, wow, my shoulders are real tense (like I didn't *know*?) and he starts away and convinces me to get the shoulders and neck massage for a little extra.

One of those places which doesn't have a *degree* listed anywhere and you can tell by the stances these guys are holding that they have no idea about proper posture and are going to kill themselves if they continue like this much longer, and none of the moves this guy was making was even remotely familiar and I doubt on the approved Australian Massage Association list...

But, oohhhhhhhh, it felt so good.

And, yes, I know that when I get my fiance up on the massage table and work on the kinks in his body, I can always turn it around and get him to work on me... but sometimes, I mean, we all know it, sometimes you just need someone who knows what they're doing.

And, as I sat there watching this other guy work on a man lying on a massage table, I got the strangest urge to just start giving them tips. Like, for instance, get a table with *adjustable* heights so that this poor guy doesn't have to double himself over to reach the body on the table and... oh jesus... is he *actually* kneeling on one knee to bend down to reach the man's arms? If you balance yourself properly, then you wouldn't be reaching back to rub away the ache in your kidneys, 'cause there'd be none... and hey, where you have 'foot massage' listed, maybe it should be 'reflexology' and, you know, do you have anyone that does hand and auricular reflexology? I'm available you know...

But I didn't actually say anything and just sat there and TOOK IT ALL as he pounded mercilessly at my stubborn, stubborn, fascia frozen flesh.

Mmmmmmmmm.

Don't tell my fiance, ok?

COMMENTS

Monday, January 30, 2006 6:09 AM

ZOESBACKUP

OK Wow...way to prove your point Anonymous, sending us to a comedian website. Not to NIH, or the WHO, or Johns Hopkins but to PENN AND TELLER. While I find them to be infinitely amusing and spot on about many of their observations, I don't USE THEM AS A FUCKING REFERENCE to make my arguments. I suppose you cite Jon Stewart whenever you discuss government policy decisions as well.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/entrez/query.fcgi?cmd=Retrieve&db=pubmed&dopt=Abstract&list_uids=15984227&query_hl=1&itool=pubmed_DocSum

Next time you want to slam someone's occupation make an effort to use legitimate resources. There is plenty of credible evidence out there detailing the pros and cons of alternative medicine. Oh yeah and don't read her fucking blog if you find her typos and opinions so reprehensible.

Monday, October 10, 2005 11:46 AM

JACQUI

Well, thank you CMS and zark1976!!!

As for 'anonymous', you know I never really thought about it like that before. Now I'm just going to have to turn around and tell all those people that want to GIVE ME THEIR MONEY that I just can't take it anymore, because some who's TOO SCARED to even LEAVE A NAME *laughed* at me.

Just... laughed.

*sob*

Oh, dear lord, my life's work going up in smoke... how will I ever deal? It's painful, absolutely painfu...

Oh, wait, that's right... I just don't care what you think. I forgot.

Monday, October 10, 2005 9:51 AM

ZARK1976

gee anonymous sounded a litle too opinionated to be hiding behind an anonymous tag. At least if it showed a pseudonym, you could be at least semi real, but as an anonymous poster, you're just like all the nasty things that the internet's about.

Sorry for hijacking this but I was a little irked at someone coming here just to make nasty comments at a feelow browncoat. Jacqui, If it made you feel better, I won't tell anyone who shouldn't know. :)

Monday, October 10, 2005 5:05 AM

CALLMESERENITY

Man, now I really want a massage.

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