All on board? by asarian

ASARIAN'S BLOG

asarian

All on board?
Sunday, February 5, 2006

I'm beginning to suffer from fierce, self-induced sleep deprivation. :) I find I am spending almost all day here, on the board. Last night I only slept a good 4 hours. Then I got up again, and turned on the screen. See, hadn't even turned my computer off. I pressed the "refresh" button, voraciously consuming the board, thread by thread. Or is the board consuming me? I would say the latter is the fairer comment.

I'm a bit frustrated, too. I am a slow man. Nothing like my dear River. I look like an idiot child, even without the comparison. :) Seriously, though, not really stupid, just slow. I generally take a lot a time, and thought, in what I write. Especially if I sense I can reach out to a person. But, as a consequence, I find it hard to keep up. Threads fall off the edge of the cliff so fast, the words are gone ere long.

And, honestly, I wish it weren't like that. I wish I could communicate more with people. Deeper, somehow. And that it were not a matter of catching them within the hour-or-so time frame until the thread has scrolled off. Not sure how to resolve this, yet. But I do find myself hunkering for human contact with my fellow browncoats.

I experience an intense sense of joy, though, from being all in the same boat together; from being part of this family. Yesterday, for instance, I made a chicken joke:

River: ... Squish!

Now, forget the joke. But what filled me with such joy, is that I can write these things, pun on a single word even, and people actually know what I'm talking about! :) That they 'get' the joke; that they know exactly at which point in the BDM River said that, and in what context. Furthermore, I get what they are saying! I know the lines; I recall the episodes from which they were paraphrased, and who said them. How cute is that? :)

And last night, in a FireFly episode, Kaylee said something relatively complex in Chinese, and, for the first time, I recognized it! And I said to myself: "I can't believe I actually know what she's saying!" :) And I've only been here for what, ten days? See, that is what gives me that warm and fuzzy feeling. I am home, here.

Now I just wish I could connect more. And get some sleep. Yes, that too. That's what started this entry. :)

COMMENTS

Monday, February 6, 2006 3:32 AM

NUCLEARDAY

I feel ya, asarian. The first and last thing I do every day is check up on this site :) And then when I come home from work... and when I get done eating... and, well, pretty much every time I'm at a loose end. I even find myself refreshing the page five minutes after I've just checked it.

'Cause you never know, someone could have posted another great image or fanfic in the meanwhile...

(Plus, you know, each time I refresh, there is the slightest, tiniest gleaming of a chance that there will be news of the series coming back posted in double-large bold font staring back at me.)

Monday, February 6, 2006 2:56 AM

ASARIAN

He oldfogey,

Good to hear from ya. :)

When I wrote that, it was about 5 AM for me. It is now 2 PM, and I still ain't seen no sleep! That tragic space dementia thingy is starting to kick in something fierce. :)

I am glad you watched Shindig again. We're a raggidy bunch, aren't we? :) I did the same; after I wrote this, I saw "Safe" and "Our Mr. Reynolds" again.

Oh, yeah. Faith may fix you, but River takes care of my fix. :)

Monday, February 6, 2006 2:26 AM

OLDFOGEY

Hay Asarian, you're not alone out there.
It's 4:20am where I'm at and guess what,
I ain't sleepin neither. (sad face goes
here - where are those little emoticons
when you need them) Last night I tried
watching TV which shouldn't oughta be a
problem, I got several hundred channels
to choose from. I lasted about 10
minutes before giving up & watching
Shindig.

Monday, February 6, 2006 12:28 AM

ASARIAN

Hi Anonymous!

Thank you, once again, for your inspiring words. :) And it is so good to know not everything is gone yet. Pfew.

I took your advice, and saw me the "Play Dead" vid. How very touching that was! Thank you!

Now you gotta see this, a link I just got:

http://obsessive24.net/videos/Simon_River_Wires.zip

I find myself truly OD-ing on River Tam. :) In a good sense, of course, leaving me wanting more. What a powerful drug she is! And I am all strung out!

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