Tension Tamer
Monday, February 27, 2006

I admit it. I lost it today. The frustration of the worlds longest job search got to me when Dice decided that my job search would be satisfied by a "Fire Protection Engineering" position. So, I responded to the postion with this:

Hi Sheila,

I am applying for this job with absolutely none of the qualifications. I am doing this because I have not had any luck applying for jobs where I might actually excel. I have found that some sort of tension release is regularly required in order to keep up the search. I apologize that I have chosen to waste your time by responding to your advertisement.

I do wonder how a fire protection engineering position got included in my job search; but, it is probably just an infelicitous choice of keywords on one or both of our parts. My guess it is the phrase “project leadership” that got your job included rather than mechanical design. But that is the peril of keyword search programs. They don’t catch things like, “I have no experience preparing reports to document the results of design studies, trade studies, failure analyses, and test programs.” Although I do have lots of experience preparing and quantifying studies in the software and systems arena, I am sure they would not be of use for your position.

I would like to suggest that you watch the DVDs of the Firefly series and the movie “Serenity”. If you have not seen them, they are very good and might serve as a positive out of what might otherwise be a waste of your time.

Again, I apologize for wasting your time. Have a nice day.

Ralph Naylor

Received this reply:

Dear Ralph,

I rec'd your resume in response to my ad on Dice for Fire suppression
engineer. My co-workers and I had a good laugh at your frankness. Believe
me we know about built up tension in this job. However, rest assured that
many people send their resumes who are not a fit. I always appreciate
resumes of contractors who are available. If I find something more
appropriate I will let you know. Good luck in your search!!

Thanks again,



Monday, February 27, 2006 10:20 AM


Silver lining, something good came out of that.

Good luck in your job search. I'm sure you'll find something soon :)

Monday, February 27, 2006 9:40 AM


And now I'm doing my happy dance!!!!!

Monday, February 27, 2006 8:41 AM


LOL, LOL, LOL......That is so good......Now that is called, "Spreading the word."

I like your style.

Monday, February 27, 2006 8:03 AM


Bloody brilliant 'Tilla man!...Bloody brilliant!

Monday, February 27, 2006 7:14 AM


Heh. I like that.
You get your frustration out in a nonviolent way and still remeber to attempt to recrute her.

Monday, February 27, 2006 7:14 AM


Well done, Attila. :)


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