I Bruise Easily by asarian

ASARIAN'S BLOG

asarian

I Bruise Easily
Wednesday, March 1, 2006

Kayna gave me such beautiful gift, the other day. And I still do not think she realizes how I'm still buzzing from the beauty of it. :) You know, earlier I blogged that it only takes a few seconds to open profound wounds in people. But, conversely, it only takes the slightest touch to reach out to a person and heal them in ways you never expected.

Anyone who can touch you, can hurt you or heal you. Which is why I bruise easily. And which is also why my heart stays always open: to allow for people to touch me in ways that can heal me. River can, on occasion, unsettle me profoundly. But in a good way; in a way that allows me to connect to humanity, chaff and grain together. And like the Natasha Bedingfield song (yes, I had a life before the 'verse), I practise in staying vulnerable; as I'm fond of saying: my weakness is my strength. Perhaps I should just quote a verse:

My skin is like a map
Of where my heart has been
And I can't hide the marks
It's not a negative thing
So I let down my guard
Drop my defenses down by my clothes
I'm learning to fall
With no safety net to cushion the blow

That is who I am; or aspire to be, at least. River allows me to fall deep. And that is good; because that's where I found her, yesterday: alone, in the deep, where she cried out, only no one could hear her. :( And I just sat there, and cried with her. :( And it was all good.

For River, the girl I found broken, a word from the book that is broken: From the depths, oh Lord, we cry unto You.

Speaking of depths, I have a young cousin; and, one day, he wished to teach me Pokemon; and, playful as I am, I let him. So, I was playing with his gameboy (Pokemon Yellow, I believe). And I recall being stuck in some stupid cave. But, lucky for me, I had an escape rope and could magically whisk out of there, lol. :) The other day, I was in that cave again. So, that's why this blog is...

For Kayna, the girl who threw me a rope, when I was at the end of mine.

COMMENTS

Wednesday, March 1, 2006 1:14 PM

FOREVERSHINY

Oh, that's so sweet. :) I'm really glad that someone has had the strength to pull you back to us. :)

And I'm sticking with what Kayna said: Don't lose who you are, asarian.

Wednesday, March 1, 2006 6:26 AM

KAYNA

Did you ever watch the West Wing?
There's a great story in there about helping friends. It goes something like this.
A man fall in a hole and can't get out. He starts calling for help until a priest walks by. He yells "Help me father, I'm stuck in this hole." The priest writes a prayer, throws it in the hole and walks away. Soon a doctor comes by. The man asks for help again. The doctor writes a prescription, throws it in the hole and wlks away. Soon The man's friend walks bye and he calls out to him "Help me. I'm stuck in this hole and I can't get out of it!" His friend jumps in the hole with him. He says "What did you do that for? Now we're both in the hole." The friend says "Yeah, but I've been down here before and I know the way out."
That's what friends do and I consider a lot of the people here friends of a kind.
Also I really think that rope was mutual. While you were climbing out of the cave it counterbalanced the rope so I could climb back over the edge of a cliff I've been clinging to for a while.
Don't lose who you are. From my experience of you, you are a light when ther's a lot of dark.

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