I'm lost, lost in the woods
Tuesday, March 7, 2006

I don't know what is going on, but I feel so low right now. Not sad or depressed really, I just feel like I want to cry. It's weird. I can't pinpoint anything that's actually wrong, I just feel like breaking down and crying right now. I used to do it all the time when I was little, just start crying without knowing why. It's not normal. I'm not entirely sure it's a good thing either.

I feel like River. I work, I function like I'm a girl. I hate it because I know it'll go away. The sun goes dark, and chaos is come again. Bits, fluids, what am I? Feels like the sun has been dark for a long while. I get confused. I remember everything. I remember too much.

And yet I don't remember much of anything at all.


Wednesday, March 8, 2006 12:37 PM


Oh Rhyianan, my friend! :( I wish I had seen this earlier.

Those River lines you use, so beautiful! Not because of River here, but because they have you ask that crucial question: what am I? In this context, really only one answer fits: whatever you need to be now.

As young River said: We meddle. People don't like to be meddled with. We tell them what to do, what to think. Don't run, don't walk. And don't cry. And be a good little girl. And cheer up. But I say: if you feel like crying, just cry; if you need to allow yourself to go through some sadness, then don't hold back. I never do, either; and I still function; not like a girl, of course, lol; :) but I've found there's no better way to stay whole, than to allow yourself to shatter every once in a while.

What are you? A great many more things than you may realize at the moment. And, not least, you are a friend to me. :) But above all, you are a gentle member of our crew; one who should know she may be anything she wants to be now, without shame or fear of ridicule, and we will accept you just "as is". You may not remember much of anything at all, but if you remember just that, then much is already gained.


Wednesday, March 8, 2006 9:51 AM


I've been in that place often. I've spent years there. I know others who have as well. You may not feel depressed but as SigmaNunki said, it is a sign of depression. If you need to cry then just let it out but don't let it consume you. You may be lost right now but if you keep looking then eventually you'll find your way out.
There's plenty of people here willing to help if you need it. Add me to that list. Just send me a wave if you need to talk.

Wednesday, March 8, 2006 4:18 AM


Hey, I've been there. All I can say is, lots of *hugs* and it'll pass. Add me to list of those to message if you want to!


Tuesday, March 7, 2006 10:06 PM


I hate platitudes so I will just say this.
If you need help, or to talk just tag me. Sometimes it helps just to know there's someone you can talk to.

I really hope you feel better soon, *hugs*

Tuesday, March 7, 2006 8:56 PM


That is a sign of depression.

I'm not going to say what I'm about to say to belittle you, nor minimize what is going on in your life right now. Nor do I assume that our experiences are the same. I'm just going to say it because, at least for me, it's nice to know that I'm not the only one struggling with something. Hopefully it'll provide you with a little comfort :)

You're not the only one struggling with this. I'm just coming out of one of those lows myself right now. As with you, I don't know why they happen, just that they do.

Also, on a larger scope, you are /never/ alone when you are a Browncoat. Never. The people here have helped me in ways that I cannot describe, and I do my best to help them. This includes you.

If you need us, we'll be here. You can count on that :)

Tuesday, March 7, 2006 7:07 PM


Sometimes crying can be good, instead of keeping everything in.

Maybe try watching/reading/doing something that makes you smile - like certain episodes of Firefly.

River came out of it eventually, so you can too, just hang in there, and remember the Browncoats are here if you need us.

Aww... I don't know what else to say so... have a *hug*


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