Electric shredders! Whoot! by seryn

SERYN'S BLOG

seryn

Electric shredders! Whoot!
Friday, March 24, 2006

We just got a brand new shredder for the house. Whoopeee! Never has recieving junk mail been so exciting, It makes this fabulous obnoxious whirring grinding noise as you feed all of those capitalone invites into it, I want more!

MORE!

ahem... *cough*

But it got me thinkin' Instead of just a boring little trash cans or junk-email folders, we need a virtual shredder for all our internet crapola.

Just think of the pleasure derived from watchin that!

I'm thinkin maybe something Python-esque, a Gilliamish spam nightmare of all those old essays forced by a giant foot into a sausage grinder, the remnants made into neat little sausages and consumed by a bunch of nuns who eventually flip over on their little branch and reveal their peachy little buttocks to the world.

The millitant anti-Bush league could have their own, I won't elaborate on what that would be like.

But how great would it be if it had a 'mean-ness' sliding scale, depending on how evil you were feeling that day it could go from 'hey, funny...funky..' to 'whoa, thats just wrong...'

And Judging by the popularity of the ranting thread over on talk (next bad day, just go hang out, It's kinda ...cathartic) Some of those setting would be permenantly whacked right up there in Maximum Wrongness. (I know mine would)

I suppose there could be the literal version as well, feeding all those phishing letters and Free! Years Supply of Viagra! junk notes into your virtual shredder and watching all those streams of letters and pixels flood forth.

Come on, who wouldn't find that satisfying?

COMMENTS

Thursday, April 6, 2006 8:25 AM

CITIZEN

I'll get right on that.

And to prove my credentials when I read the Python bit I didn't think of Monty Python, I thought "No you don't want to use the python scripting language to do that..."

I'm such a Geek I should be put down for the good of the Gene pool.

Friday, March 24, 2006 2:52 PM

COWGIRL

Now that you've defined the need(and I agree with you on that), I just know someone will come up with the product! I love the image of the foot and grinder and neat sausages. That's the one I'm going for. Enjoyed your thread!

Friday, March 24, 2006 11:01 AM

SERYN

Glad to be of service darlin'

Now I just needs some computery type willing to do anything for me and soon I could have an empire to rival that of Bill Gates!

ok, maybe Richard Branson.

Friday, March 24, 2006 10:56 AM

KAYNA

That sounds like fun!

Virtual anger management through the destruction and defilment of all that irritating spam!

Tee hee. You made me giggle with glee at the thought.

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