Sighs and Cries
Sunday, April 23, 2006 grandmother has cancer. Lung cancer, to be precise. And no wonder, she smoked for 40 years, or so. She's on her second week of chemo (or however you spell it) and has two wigs and 5 hats. It's so weird to see her without hair and happy. She was one of those people who--as much as I adore her--was not happy all that often. Y'know, the type of person who always tries to find something wrong with the food, the place you're seated, the performance, everything. She used to be that way, calling 5,000 times a day and annoying us to no end that even my mom (it's my mom's mom) didn't want to do anything with her anymore. But now...Now that she has the cancer...Well, after the initial shock (obviously), she saw her life in a whole new way, I guess. She still calls, but this time, it's to inform us of how much she appreciates all the gifts and calls form her old friends and poeple at church. She tells me how proud she is (report cards came out last week and school band concerts are happening soon) and how much she loves us. She believes that if she believes hard enough, God will just cure her. If only it could be that simple...Y'know, in some ways, while I'm the teenager, she seems more childlike in her "blind faith." Am I that jaded already that God can't cure everything? Is she more pure because she believes more than I do?

I wish I knew the answers to that. I wish that what she believes will happen...With all of my heart, I do. But if I'm being realistic (which doesn't happen too often. Mostly I'm stuck in the 'verse or my writing mind: the place where all my ideas come from, I guess), the chances don't look too good.

*SCREAM* Sorry, I just had to get this out. I mean, journals are great for writing and rereading what you've written a couple years later, but in terms of human contact...

If there are any Christians, or religious people of any sort, if you could possibly pray for my grandmother...Maybe that's too much to ask. I'm sorry, I don't know the proper ettiquete for this sort of thing. But if you could, please?

Thanks for listening to my rambling. I don't know how much or how little to write anymore. *sad smile*

Cheers to the browncoats,


Sunday, April 23, 2006 11:48 AM


I don’t pray but I do believe in the power of positive energy. So she has my happy thoughts. I hope it helps her.

Sunday, April 23, 2006 9:14 AM


While I am not the most zealous of Christians, I will pray for your grandma and hope she gets better...though I have to be jaded with ya. 40 years of chuffing on cancer sticks make complete remission for the rest of her life rather improbable.

And trust me ForeverShiny, this place is one of the best I have found outside topic-specified chat boards for letting things out and expressing feelings that would just make ya all pre and post-Wash Zoe. I know that lots of Browncoats will pray for your grandma, if only to make the attempt at helping out a fellow lover of Firefly in need.



You must log in to post comments.