Scenes n stuff by Stormwind

STORMWIND'S BLOG

Stormwind

Scenes n stuff
Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Heres some scenes I wrote for an Ep of Firefly.
the premise is that Jayne and River get captured by slavers and the whole crew have to work together to get them out. Eventually they have to enlist the help of the Alliance to free the two. Liked the idea of Jayne and River being locked in a small space together. (River beats him up several times) and of Mal having to call in the Alliance. Also Simon demands to go along on the rescue mission, causing more conflict. Haven't decided if this is before or after they get a new pilot (watch this space)

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Scene: River and Jayne in prison.

Opening shot- Close up Jayne’s face, eyes closed. He opens them.
MWS: He sits up, groans, looks around, rubs his leg, we see the dark and sticky blood and hasty bandage on his leg wound. The cell is dark, but we can see a small set of steps, and a corridor outside the cell. The cell is rather large suited to holding perhaps ten or more.
J: Gorram it.
He spots River’s dark shape lying crumpled on the steps. He picks up a small stone and throws it at her. There is no reaction.
J: (Hissed) Hey… moonbrain.
There is no reaction. Jayne looks worried, then annoyed. He crawls painfully over to her dragging his injured leg. Grabs River by the shoulder and shakes her.
J: Wake up, girly.
River opens her eyes suddenly and sits up. Jayne jumps in shock.
R: Its very dark in here.
J: Whadda you want me to do about it?
R: (hold her head suddenly, wincing) My head hurts.
J: You and me both.
The camera slowly pans out on River as she hugs her knees to her chest, head hunched over them.
R: Its very dark in here.

Scene: Simon and Mal argue about who lost River.

Mal, Inara and Zoe are playing cards.

Mal: (to Inara) It was very gracious of you to leave that comfortable shuttle of yours to come among us lesser folk for a time.
Inara: The shuttle gets constricting after a time. And Zoe’s not one of those lesser folk you’re referring too there, Captain?
Zoe: (playing a card) Not since I just won the hand I suppose I’m not.
M: Tsuao Gu!
Enter Kaylee and Simon. Simon is weighed down with several shopping bags.
I: (to Kaylee) Oh, you’re back. Did you have nice time?
Simon: I’ve never spent so long in dress shop.
Kaylee: Oh, yeah. Simon bought me lots of nice things. (to Mal) And I got that new Suppression Coil we needed Cap’n.
M: (Taking a drink) Shiny. At least the trip wasn’t a complete waste of time.
I:(to Mal) Be nice. (She stands) (to Kaylee) Come on and show me. (to Mal and Zoe) Let Simon take my place.
Inara and Kaylee leave taking some of the bags with them.
Z: (Shuffling the deck) You in Doctor?
Simon has been looking around the whole time
S: (Slowly) Where is River?
Mal stops suddenly with his cup halfway to his mouth.
M: I thought she was with you.
S: She was supposed to be with you.
M: She didn’t leave with us. Didn’t come back with us neither.
S: You’ve lost her! (Strides forward toward Mal.)
M: (Stands and glares at Simon) She ain’t my sister.
S: I left her in your care.
M: Sounds to me like you forgot her.
Simon swears in Chinese and steps closer to Mal. Zoe stands and quickly pushes Simon back softly.
Z: Don’t start somethin’ you can’t finish Doc. I’m sure River is fine wherever she is. Maybe she came back without anyone noticing.
Simon nods slowly.
S: I’ll check the engine room. (Exits)
Z: (Looks at Mal) I’ll get the others to help search. (Exits)
M: (Softly) Gorramit girl, what have you got me into now. (Exits)
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Anyhow let me know what you reckon- cheers
-BEB I think I fixed all the spelling

COMMENTS

Wednesday, November 22, 2006 1:40 PM

BLUEEYEDBRIGADIER

Sounds like a great concept for an episode, Stormwind! Gets the Rayne element going, if only platonically; Simon gets some in-your face time with Mal and general character growth all around:)

Only issue I see is that you have a problem with spelling as it relates to given names and Chinese. It's "Inara," not "Anoura" and "gorram" not "ghouram." Plus, not sure..but I think it's supposed to be "tsao gai"

BEB

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