KELKHIL'S BLOG

Kelkhil

Thursday 2/22
Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Well my first blog entry and its gonna be a doosey!

I stay away from most of the RWE Discussions because they all seem to end up as religious discussions. I used to love to get into those kinds of discussions. Not so much anymore.
I was Baptised Catholic and as a child we did go to Church a little. As I grew older we went fewer and fewer times a year.
As I reached my teens I began looking for a religion that made sense to me. I just could not understand how Someone/Something so powerful could be so ruthless and cruel, unforgiving, and down right sinister.
Yeah I know that I will probably be flamed for that sentance but it is my blog so if you don't like what I have to say then just take a walk!
Anyway, I have looked at Catholicism and Christianity. I have been an Atheist and Agnostic. I have looked at Wicca, Buddhism, Taoism and quite a few others. All trying to find something that made absolute sense. You know what there isn't one. They all make sense. None make sense!
It all comes down to belief (or that is what they tell me). One must have Faith that there is a God. One must believe in a Higher Power.
So Thursday is my Sister's Birthday. She would have been 35. You see she died may 10, 2006.
She was 34 years old and she died! She was struggling to support her 14 and 10 year old sons because her deadbeat husband (that she was seperated from) was in prison and she died! She was just getting ready to attempt College to better support her sons and make a better life for herself and she died! She had just gotten engaged to a good person and she died! It was 2 days after her oldest son's birthday and she died! It was 4 days before Mother's Day and she died! The list goes on and on but it all ends the same.... AND SHE DIED!
So I have a new take on Religion and I am sure that it will end me in Hell.
I HOPE that there is a God. I don't believe and I don't have Faith; I hope. I so want to meet this person. I want to walk right up to Him/Her and look Him/Her in the eyes....
and I want to kick the living (or dead (whatever)) shit out of Him/Her for what He/She did to my nephews and my family and too her.
I can't believe in God or have faith because there is no way that God would do this to those boys or my parents or my little sister and brother. So I have to Hope that He/She exists and that I will get to meet Him/Her someday.

Thanks for letting me get this off my chest.

Now back to our regularly scheduled fun!

COMMENTS

Wednesday, February 21, 2007 7:53 AM

BLUEEYEDBRIGADIER


Damn...that's some honestly powerful and - IMHO - warranted feelings, Kelkhil;)

I definitely know where you're coming from: baptised United Church of Canada but have only gone to a relatively small number of services in my 23 years of life on this Earth, and have struggled to find some sort of belief system that didn't seem to either be hypocritical or limited in scope. It hasn't been easy to deal with the ideas of faith in a higher power when things like my parents being afflicted with various ailments and diseases and things invovling my own self have made the concept of "God" a problematic issue at best:(

BEB

Tuesday, February 20, 2007 12:21 PM

LITTLEALBATROSS29


Kelkhil dear ....I'm so sorry...Right now I want to kick some higher power butt for you too !
*hugs*

Tuesday, February 20, 2007 12:17 PM

MSG


Kelkhil- I hope you find what you seek:) HUGS


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