Worse and Worse
Thursday, March 1, 2007

Mom Update.

She’s a lot worse these past few days and seems to be going downhill rapidly. Mom’s very weak. She can’t walk or stand. She’s sleeping mostly and drops off without warning in the middle of a sentence (she did so on the phone with me the past 2 days). She’s managing to sip a little broth, but that’s about it.

To give you an idea of how fast she’s going, two days ago my step dad and the hospice nurse were discussing the possibility of getting her a walker. Today, the nurse said there wasn’t any point. At this rate, I think she’s gonna be gone with in a few weeks and I’m not ready for it. She is, but I’m not and I’m selfish…I don’t want her to go. Period.

Car, etc.
Today’s been pretty much a suckfest since I got home. The apartment complex has gotten the idea (correctly and unfortunately) that my car, Spike, is not working as it’s had a flat tire and are threatening to have it towed. I fixed the tire when I got home, put in a new battery and washed the car (at 7pm at night) The car at least now has power, but still won’t actually start. *sigh* I’m just hoping it stays put for the moment.

I still have nothing from the insurance company for the car that pifft two weeks ago. I called the agent today and nothing.

I can’t find my printout from the dealership on just what needs to be fixed on Spike so I can call for estimates. I think I just going to go over there and lie and say I’m selling the car and need need another copy so I can disclose all pertinent info to any interested buyers.

I’m also going to call my work investment rep tomorrow and get the ball rolling for a loan from my retirement account, even though I have no clue how much money I actually need, but I need to get it going now ‘cause those rentals ain’t cheap.

To make life more fun, I’ve been having anxiety attacks, nervous eye twitches and my stomach is just rolling in acid, in spite of the Prilosec I’ve been taking faithfully, so I’m gonna have to sleep sitting up.

Right now I should be in bed, but am too wired up about everything that I can’t relax to sleep. Add to that that I still have a sinus infection and can’t get to the doctor’s to get it taken care of.

Can I have someone else’s life? I don’t like mine anymore.


Friday, March 2, 2007 7:26 PM


It's never easy to lose someone close to ya. I know I was shocked stupid when my maternal granddad passed suddenly after having a stroke...couldn't really handle what had happened for a while. I am praying for both you and your mom, RMMC...if only for her passing to be painless and in her sleep:(

And just take nice long, deep breaths to help soothe those panic attacks. Then use the channelled emotion to verbally sodomize your insurance agent about getting your affairs sorted out for you. Strive to be civil, but focus all that fear and pain into being forceful in noting you need to get this mess deal with so you're not stuck with potentially this and being invovled in your mom's funeral (if things truly keep degrading)...


Friday, March 2, 2007 11:01 AM


HUGS RMMC I cannot imagine how hard it is to be losing your mom. Losing my grandmother was so hard and she did sort of what's happening with your mom. All I can say is any time you want a shoulder I am here and I love you sweety and WE are all thinking of you:)

Thursday, March 1, 2007 6:00 PM


Huge hug for you. I am thinking of you. Not that it helps you. But I am sending hopeful vibes, and trying tofigure out how to send drugs without getting caught!

Thursday, March 1, 2007 5:47 PM


Step 1) Breathe.

Step 2) Repeat.

Sorry I can't be of more help.


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