Hey Steamer....

Definitely can sympathize on both fronts discussed here. My dad's been hospitalized several times over the last few months for issues relating to a knee injury he got back in '01, with the matter finally getting settled - it seems - just recently. Been a fun time for all:(

On the L-word front...I definitely know how ya feel. Can't offer much advice other than what's been dropped here by other Browncoats concerned about your well-being....but I can share a virtual pint of beer with ya and share horror stories about how the L-word is a horrible thing when it doesn't work out. All you really can do is look back at the wreck that was your relationship, know where things went wrong, swear avoidance of such hazards in the future...and keep on chugging along. Hang out with friends and/or coworkers...schmooze with people you meet...do a good deed every once and a while as the good Lord tells us ;D. The right person will come along when the time's right.

Being alone isn't truly horrible, though it's far from what most would consider "perfect." Got an uncle who's been a bachelor all of his adult life and I don't think he's had much to complain about, other than my granddad being a doink on more than one occasion. Some people are happy being single, so if that's you...I wish you well and leave off with this: even if you never find that special someone, you got a whole army of amigos ready to quaff a drink or two with ya and trade tales of moments good and bad. Really can't ask anything more:)

BEB

I know where you are. I have been through your thoughts on humanity many atime. Sometimes I've given up. Others I've clung to hope by the skin of my teeth. Especially concerning the L-word. The general tule of thumb, is that people are scum. But, as previously mentioned, that isn't changeing anytime soon.

So, what do we do. What is the alternatuive. Where do we go from here?
Here is the answer straight from Joss' lips: We move on.
Don think about it. Dont dwell on it. We move on. We neither accept the fact that we are bound to lonliness for eternity, nor that we are bound too find a soulmate tomorrow. All we can do is live in the time that we are given. The here and now. If someone comes along, then they come along. If not, well...

I am a christian. I dont know what denomination (if any) you are, or how devout you are to God, but let me give you some advice my pastor gave me. Picture a triangle. The top point is God. The Left point is you. The right is The One. Her. Your love personified. If you both seek God (left and right points moveing along their respective lines towards the top point), you end up falling into each others lap, and in the midst of that is God, making all things right.

The only other piece of advice i can give you, is to look to Jesus. Lean on him. You know what comfort that will bring.

Steamer, my friend,
Sorry to hear about your dad's health concerns. It's great that you and your family pull together and support each other like that though.
On the other topic...I hate to see you so down. Been there, done that -- a few times -- on the bad relationship thing. I gave up for quite awhile. For awhile; I just figured my poor old heart wouldn't take another breaking so I've concentrated on work and hanging out with friends for many a long year. It's just recently that I've started feeling, if not hopeful, at least ready to give it another try should the opportunity present himself.
My only advice is to just "let it be" as the song goes. Only you can know what your heart wants or needs. Go ahead and put your heart on hold if you have to -- it sounds like you're not ready to do anything else right now. Be gentle on yourself, kind sir. But I hope you keep your mind open for the possiblity of love surprising you somewhere down the line.

I apologize for how I addressed you - it was presumptuous of me. Not exactly the best way to give advice, either.

I'm not trying to be disrespectful of your experiences, but they happened, and if you want to be content, you need to do something. There's nothing wrong with feelings, but dwelling on them without progressing to a resolution is (as I think you know) bad.

Besides, it seems to me that you're disregarding the good things, or focusing too much on the negative. Humanity as a collective entity sucks, and that's not going to change, so you have to be the one to lift yourself up somehow. Reach out to your family and friends, and make the most out of what you have instead of dwelling on what you don't have.

"If I truly wanted someone bad enough...
wouldn't be a thing in the 'verse could stop me from going to her."

If you truly wish for someone to spend the rest of your life with, you'll have much more success if you take action. It's certainly not easy from what I've seen and heard, and of course there's rejection; but isn't it better to try and fail then regret having done nothing, and wondering what could have happened if you had just... whatever? Isn't it better to work toward something that could turn out well instead of working toward more of the same which you know isn't very good?

If you don't risk putting yourself out there again, you risk not meeting some truly wonderful people. The ones who are cruel aren't worth your time; and, if you allow the past and the actions of some people (which are not representative of all people) hold you back, you do a disservice to yourself.

The world isn't full of rainbows, but they do exist. It takes a good storm to make one, but they're worth it, I think. Despite my bad metaphor, I hope you understand what I'm trying to say.

And, I guess it comes down to this: do you believe that love is worth it? Is "a deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness" worth the pain? If you don't think it is, then you have to really accept that you're going to be alone, find some healthy way to deal with the emotions attached to that, and continue on with your life in an effort to make it as good as possible.

Your happiness is in your own hands - or rather, between your ears. Talking is a good way to work through something, and writing it down allows you to go back and re-examine it. I just don't want you to get stuck in the same feelings again and again, and continue to cycle down.

I probably can't give you the perspective you need to progress, so maybe you could find someone who understands you and the situation and ask what they think, or go to someone and explain the situation and ask what they think. ::shrugs::

I don't know. I hope my advice is helpful somehow. My apologies again for before.

Well, you know what? I do find it mean. I find it mean that you can't seem to understand the ugliness of the human heart that I've seen. What makes you think I never even tried? Because I've got a news wave for you, I HAVE tried, tried for a long damn while, and been consistently met with the cold shoulder. THAT'S why I feel the way I do. And I am REALLY sick of folk who try to make me feel two inches tall in lieu of understanding what's gone on here.

Time for some tough love, methinks, so I'm just gonna lay this out honestly from what I've read, and I hope you don't find it too mean:

Dwelling on the negative emotions of having lost love isn't helping you one bit. The idea that you will grow old alone is one that you prefer, in part because it allows you to remain comfortably in your puddle of self-pity. Life is what we make of it, and you're the one that's making it hell right now. You may not have the ability to make someone fall in love with you, but you have a choice about what situations you expose yourself to and your reactions to them.

You're right - you never will find love, and it'll be your loss because you were too afraid to get up off your ass and look again. That's just sad. There are at least 6 billion people on this planet, and I'm sure that there's more than one person who would love you for who you are, and vice versa; but, at this rate, we'll never know, will we?

So, good luck with all of that. I sincerely hope that you find happiness someday.

Okay, first of all, I don't know exactly what your experience was, but from what you've said, you've had one relationship and only one. And sad to say, the first relationship of anyone's life is rocky and jagged. This is how we learn. We learn what we do and don't want and we seek that out. I have experienced the pros, yeah, but I've had more than my share of cons, and that first relationship I had? All cons. Nothing good about it. So I said "Well, not doing THAT again!" and I did better. A little. Then I did better better. Then much much better. And I look forward to doing even better next time. I don't think one bad experience should put you off love for your entire life. I don't think SEVERAL bad experiences should. I think they should be lessons.
Anyway, doubt you want me to continue that rant, so now I'll tell you that I rmemeber there being a thread that was upwards of 200 posts long called "Christian Browncoats". And I know for a fact that Causal and Magdalena are Christians, and I'm sure there are others, if only judging by that seriously long thread I remember seeing. I think there are very few creeds NOT represented in the Browncoat community; ye've got no call to whine about that ;)