Sweet dreams are made of this...(Serenity)

NRKANGEL'S BLOG

nRkangel

Sweet dreams are made of this...(Serenity) - Cool!
Friday, July 23, 2004

Hey! I dreamt about the Serenity Movie last night! How cool is that!

- more about it at the end of this post. I want to jot down a few things while the thoughts are there...

So, last night on the drive home, I find myself waking up and I decide that it's well past dinner and I'm not in the mood to cook. I stopped off to have dinner at a little Mexican restaurant I know. (I love da spicy food!)

I'm sitting there, eating, reading the newspaper I'd picked up when I suddenly realize that I'm the only person dining alone here. Typically it doesn't bother me, but for some reason, tonight I not only noticed, but it bugged me. I think it was because I felt like talking to somebody, but there was no one around (that I knew) to talk to. (Most of my friends are guys and we don't have many of the deep conversations and really never call each other just to chat. The female friends I have are in relationships or are not so close that I feel comfortable calling out of the blue to talk... weird situation to be in.)

When I was in college, I remember that there was always someone around to shoot the breeze with, but as a "grownup" I find that life tends to isolate you more if you don't have a pre-planned "activity" to do. Epiphany! Adults need planned "play dates"! (huh...what a time for a revelation equal to that of finding out in kindergarten that paste smells good, but tastes awful. )

For years my travel schedule has kind of precluded me from being involved in many group social activities (like the softball leagues I belonged to before I really got in deep at this job) since I couldn't always commit to being there. (This is aside from the canoe trips and camping trips or barbecues with close friends.) It's bothered me in the past, but I never actually attempted to write about it before.

hmph... I'll have to dwell on this more sometime...weirdness....

Well, on to the real reason for this quick follow-up post. First, Liz had asked if anyone here at work knew I was leaving. (btw, I'm posting all replies inside the blog (unless they're really, really personal) simply so I can remember them, like fifteen years from now when I re-read this thing and laugh about my "youthful naiveté"

)

Interestingly enough, aside from the bosses - and I have many...only the HR/accounting lady knows. Of course, our office is part of a large trading company so most everyone else is involved with other projects and I affect them not at all.

The guys in the factory in Japan, however, have a more vested interest and the rumor has pretty much spread, although they lack the details blogger-readers have. One guy from the factory is a close enough friend (he visited me in Malaysia when I was posted there for three months last year) and he knows what's going on, but he's closed mouthed about secrets. The subtle questions I've received I've pretty much avoided directly answering and the Japanese are not known for being direct, blunt, or insistant about their curiosity.

I'd have told everyone there about the end of September by now, but the company wants me to keep things quiet so that they can make arrangements and spin things properly. The president of our tech division from the Tokyo office actually told me over dinner in early June that my decision was making things difficult and that he'd lose face if I left immediately

. (Of course he started this whole mess in the first place - read earlier blog for explanation.)

I'm not angry with him or anyone in the company for the decisions and events of this year since I understand the business side of things and I genuinely like these guys. I'm more annoyed that the yearly budget was approved in Nov of last year, but suddenly it's not working for them. Worse, I was never involved in any of these discussions about what to do. That, more than anything else, told me where my place was and made me totally unwilling to be convinced to stay.

Anyway, my being here until September allows the head office in Tokyo to announce that they'll be shutting down the operation as part of an overall "plan" which saves them face as opposed to if I just walk away leaving our customers with no support system and ugly questions internally about what made me leave.

Of course my bosses have also asked about my future plans. Their main concern is that I would go over and work for the competition. Still, there are a few guys left who have asked because they have known me since I first came into the organization. One division manager told me that, if things don't work out, I would have a place in the company if I wanted to come back. That warmed my heart to hear, but I seriously don't want to contemplate that because it would mean that I had given up on the future I really want. (Think good thoughts... baby steps to the hallway...baby steps to the elevator...then RUN FOR IT WHILE NO ONE IS LOOKING!)

So...about last night... I wake up at two in the morning with a mild case of heartburn.(Have to make a rule about no salsa before bedtime.) I get up, take a pepcid and go back to bed and read for a little while.

Around 3:30 I finally drift off and I dream that I'm at the movie theater with someone. (I never actually see who I'm with, I only know that I'm with an acquaintance...not a really close friend...but I don't know who. (I want to put a note in here about dream people who are placeholders with meaning but no solid identity, but that would make this even longer, so I'll just leave that much in the hopes that I come back to this topic later. Damn, I'm just rambling all over the place, today.)

Anyway the movie theater isn't quite normal... there's something strange/neat/advanced about this place. For one thing, it looks more like an huge atrium in an office building with people out front in little cubicle kiosks working on stuff while others are meeting friends at patio tables having bright luncheons served by elegant waitstaff.

Then there are the entrances to the theaters themselves which are more like decorated archways with subtly lit signs above listing the movies showing. We go through the one for Serenity and an usher *yeah, they had those, too* walks me down this long hallway which gradually gets darker and darker. We turn one corner and there are people on both sides in more cubicles playing the latest hologramic video games in networked teams.

We are led through a door and into a dark theater when I realize that we're late! The movie had already started. This annoyed me because: 1) I hate missing parts of movies - I might lose vital info or not get as into it. 2) I missed the damned opening soundtrack, meaning that I can't tell you guys if they used the original theme or not

. Right then I satisfy my disappointment at being late by determining to catch the very next showing. (By refusing to leave my seat and giving an usher cash if necessary.)

Anyway. I sit down in my ultra plush-reclining lazy-boy type seat (I love this theater!) and see Serenity sail across the screen. Shiny! Next there's the Cap'n talking to Kaylee and Jane about something or other. They're bigger than life and I can't help but feel like I've come home. As I watch I find myself dissolving into the events on the screen and can no longer hold the memories of the dream.

I woke up to find that I'd overslept the alarm I forgot to set. I wasn't stressed about it, though. I'm letting that part go a little at least. I happily made my way to the shower and got ready for the morning. (fifteen minutes late to work? Who cares...I'm out of here in 70 days and I just dreamt a teaser about Serenity!!!)

All I Have to do is Dream - The Everly Brothers

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